Chapter 1

“Bro, I can’t believe we’re going to meet Anton Blum,” the voice of Todd the imp snickered from behind the white tablecloth. “I love his movies! They’re some of the most fucked-up things I’ve ever seen. Over-the-top violence, sex, full-frontal nudity… It’s like a wishlist ripped straight out of my own mind.”

“Enjoy his work while you can,” I replied with a chuckle as I gently leaned against the room service cart. “He’s a demon, and we’re going to drive him into an early retirement.”

“Uh, Jakey?” Todd’s tiny paws brushed the tablecloth aside. “Are we going to poison his dinner or something? Why am I hiding in a room service cart? And what’s up with your fancy outfit?”

For this occasion, I wore a white dress shirt with a black tie and black dress pants. It was simple, but it was the same uniform worn by employees of the Royal Palms Resort, so it made for the perfect disguise. Nobody had even tried to stop me when I waltzed into the kitchen area and swiped one of the room service carts, a couple of silver platters, and a bottle of wine.

“We’ve been over this, Todd.” I raised an eyebrow at the imp. “Were you baked when I explained the plan?”

“Bro, if you have to ask, you probably know the answer,” Todd giggled.

“I’ll go over it one last time, so be sure to take notes.” I sighed. “If we’ve learned anything from the past few weeks, it’s that we need to take these assholes by surprise. Remember Gallu?”

Todd nodded. “That bovine motherfucker from back in Vegas.”

“Exactly,” I confirmed. “Think of how much of an advantage he had when he surprised us in our hotel room. Now we’re just going to do the same thing to Mr. Blum here.”

“Bro, we’ve spent the last couple of weeks kicking ass, fucking shit up, and slaying demons.” The imp shrugged. “We don’t need the element of surprise. We’re badasses! This is what? Demon numero fifty-o?”

“Six,” I corrected. “This will be number six.”

“Six, fifty, same difference,” Todd chuckled. “We’re going to fuck him up either way.”

“Not if we don’t stick to the plan,” I warned.

“Which is…?” Todd stared back at me blankly.

“Anton Blum is a notorious womanizer,” I explained. “He’s known around Hollywood for having a taste for women on the younger side if you get my drift.”

“Stranger danger.” Todd nodded.

“Exactly. That’s where Sia comes in.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small black earpiece. “Blum is currently out here in Phoenix scouting talent. Superbia is supposed to be meeting him today to have dinner and talk about a role in one of his upcoming movies. They’re meeting here at his room and then heading off to dinner, so--”

“I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going,” Todd said with a laugh and a knowing wink.

“Bro--” I began.

The imp shrugged. “It’s an art form.”

“Moving on.” I rolled my eyes as I continued, “The idea is to get Sia alone with Blum and then get him to talk about all the fucked-up stuff he’s into before we kill him.”

“Bro, why do we need to get him to confess?” Todd questioned. “We’re going to cut off his dick anyways.”

“Because if we catch him saying all these pervy things on a video recording and then leak it to the press, it’ll make more sense why he disappeared.” I tapped the earpiece as I finessed it over my ear. “No one will miss him that way.”

“You’re a genius, Jakey.” Todd bowed playfully. “What about the other girls?”

“They’re up on the rooftop with earpieces of their own.” I pointed upwards. “We’re all just waiting for the signal.”

“The signal?” Todd questioned as he scratched his head.

“That’d be us, my friend!” I motioned up and down at my outfit. “Room service.”

“Ah, so the ol’ Blumster likes to wine and dine ‘em first.” The imp scoffed. “What a gentleman.”

“Jacob? Todd? Girls?” Sia’s timid voice crackled through the earpiece. “I’m approaching Mr. Blum’s hotel room right now. I can’t believe I’m wearing this ridiculous outfit.”

“You’ll get used to Earth clothing in time, sister,” Libidine’s voice came through the earpiece and reassured the madame. “Besides, Jacob can help you take them off as soon as we’re done here.”

“I am quite fine, Libidine,” Superbia said with an awkward giggle.

This time Cupi’s voice crackled over the headset. “Sister, it’s been over a month since you’ve accepted Jacob as your new lord, yet, you still haven’t made your connection with our new master. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that you were avoiding it. We’ve even offered multiple times.”

“Be careful what you wish for, Cupiditas,” Sia’s soft voice hissed. “I’ve been a succubus for far longer than either of you. If Jacob has a taste of me, I’m not sure he would ever want to go back to you. I’m your madame--”

“Former madame,” Libidine corrected. “Jacob doesn’t have a hierarchy with his succubi.”

“I don’t like to play favorites,” I said into the communicator. “There’s enough of me to go around for everybody.”

“That is very true, sister,” Liby laughed. “His dick is so big that--”

Sia cut off her friend’s words. “I’m at the door.”

“Alright, this is it,” I whispered to the succubus through the communicator. “Just remember to play it cool, and that we’re right here if you need backup.”

“I was the servant of Azazel, Jacob,” Sia chuckled. “There’s nothing in the world this man could do that would frighten me.”

“Just hang tight until he tries to call up room service,” I confirmed. “This is how Blum preys on people. He asks them to meet him at his hotel, then he asks if they want to just stay in and eat dinner at his place, and then he extorts them for sexual favors.”

“I will be fine, Jacob,” the redhead assured. “I may not be as eager as my two sisters, but I’m still a succubus.”

“You’d be eager if you’ve seen what we’ve seen.” Liby giggled.

“Shhh!” Todd hissed into my earpiece and nearly deafened me. “This is some prime-time drama shit. I want to hear everything that’s going down.”

I sighed. “If this guy’s anything like what I’ve heard, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep down my lunch.”

“Bro, I’m the imp that smashed a whole pizza while we watched those torture porn movies.” Todd shrugged. “I think I can handle it.”

“Torture porn?” Cupiditas’ curious voice crackled through. “Sounds like something Sister Ira would be into.”

“Hush now, girls!” Sia angrily whispered. “I need to focus on the mission at hand.”

“And I thought Cupi was uptight.” Todd nudged my gut with his elbow and giggled.

“Sia’s a madame, Todd,” I explained. “Her whole purpose is to make sure her girls are safe and doing their jobs at maximum efficiency.”

“Apparently, it’s also to service people with jailbait fantasies,” the imp snickered.

“Well yeah, she’s--”

“I wonder how many lonely teenagers summon her just to take her to prom?” he continued. “I totally would have tried something like that.”

On the other end of the communicator, there was a halfhearted knock followed by the metallic click of a door’s locking mechanism.

“Ah, you must be Sierra!” the gruff, slimy voice of Anton Blum filled my ears. “You have no idea how much I’ve been waiting for this. Come on in!”

The sound of footsteps was faint on whatever type of fancy interior the room had. The door slammed in the distance as I assumed Sia and Blum were walking toward the living quarters of his suite.

“So, Sierra,” the man’s voice continued. “How long have you been in the movie business? You seem young… and fresh faced. I can’t say I’ve ever seen any of your work.”

“I mostly stick to independent films,” the redheaded succubus answered. “Mostly just a few side gigs here and there, and a few favors for my friends who are wannabe directors.”

“I see. Would you like a glass of champagne, love?” Blum sounded like he was trying to be smooth, but his words came out in the slimiest way possible.

“Oh, I’m too young to drink,” Sia refused.

“Come on.” Blum chuckled. “Don’t tell me you never partied with your friends or snuck a drink out of your dad’s stash once or twice? You look like a girl who wants to have a fun time.”

“I thought we were going to discuss this role over dinner?” The redhead tried to change the subject.

“Yeah, that’s what the original plan was,” the man said nonchalantly. “But I figured we could just order up some room service and then see where the night takes us. I’ve been here for a couple of days now, and this resort is nicer than any of the fancy-shmancy restaurants around town. Trust me on this one.”

I looked over at the imp on the cart, and we both rolled our eyes at Blum’s words. This guy’s habits were like clockwork.

“I suppose if we’re staying in then we can indulge a bit,” Sia retorted, but she couldn’t hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Easy there, Sia,” I whispered into the communicator. “Wait until backup arrives.”

“Excellent, my dear!” Anton exclaimed. “What would you like? They’ve got everything under the sun at this place.”

“Uh--” Sia muttered.

“Order a rare steak and some lobster, sister,” Cupiditas whispered. “It’s the best Earth Realm has to offer.”

“Steak and lobster would be sufficient if you don’t mind,” Sia innocently requested.

“Oh, you’re also a girl who likes the finer things.” Blum snickered. “Just my type. Let me go put in that order.”

“It’s taking every inch of my willpower to keep from tearing this guy limb from limb,” Sia’s voice whispered through the earpiece.

“We’re almost there,” I reassured the succubus. “He’s already offered alcohol to a minor, now you just need to get him to say something really incriminating.”

“That should be easy.” The succubus chuckled. “This man is basically salivating right now at the sight of me. Not that it’s anything new.”

“There,” Blum’s voice grew closer as he returned. “Room service is on its way. Now let’s talk about business.”

“That’s our cue.” I nodded to Todd, reached up, and then grabbed a silver platter. “Ready to put on your disguise?”

“Bro, playing food?” he said as he climbed up onto the top layer of the cart. “This is the role of a lifetime. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t just sit backstage and smoke pot my entire time in Drama Club.”

“Of course not, you also were back there eating anything edible.” I laughed as I opened the tray and the imp hopped in.

“Guilty as charged.” Todd’s voice was cut off as I placed the lid over his small body.

I took a deep breath and then began to push Todd’s makeshift chariot toward Blum’s room.

The wheels of the room service cart squealed as they rolled through the bowels of the resort. The concrete hallways were littered with trash, broken glassware, and more carts than one could ever possibly need. Then there was the smell, a mixture of sweet, discarded desserts from the function the night before and the vulgar scent of old meat.

“So, my dear,” Blum’s voice came back through the earpiece. “What are your qualifications? Why should I consider you for a role in my next movie?”

“My resume should speak for itself,” Sia’s voice responded. “I’ve acted in many--”

“No, no, my dear,” Blum cut the succubus off. “I mean your… physical qualifications. There are dozens of different girls your age who have responded to the ad we put out. What can you do for me that they can’t?”

“Are you suggesting--”

“Sierra, you seem to have it all where it counts.” The man’s voice was now dripping with excitement. “You’re stunning, you’re talented, and you’ve got the right attitude for showbiz. I can make you a star, but there are certain… favors I would like in return. You know, you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

Todd and I were now out of the inner-workings of the resort and were about twenty feet away from Anton’s room.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not your back that you want me to scratch,” Sia retorted with a laugh.

“I’m glad you understand.” The movie producer giggled. “It won’t be so bad. Now, would you like an appetizer before our dinner arrives?”

“Sausage, I’m assuming?” Superbia asked unenthusiastically.

“You read my mind, doll!” the man chuckled.

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the communicator.

“Oh.” The disappointment in Sia’s voice was obvious. “A grower, I presume?”

“Don’t worry, it’ll feel bigger in a minute. You want to be a star, don’t you?” Blum’s voice was filled with embarrassment and a twinge of rage.

“If that’s what it takes to make it in Hollywood, then I guess I’m in.” Sia sighed.

“Liby and Cupi, get ready,” I spoke through the headpiece as we came up to the door of the suite.

I reached up, balled my fist, and then pounded on the yellow Tuscan doors.

“That must be our food,” Blum’s voice sighed through the earpiece. “That was fast. Just as we were about to start.”

“After we eat?” Sia asked.

“I knew you’d come around, my dear. I promise I’ll make it a night you won’t forget.”

“You can say that again,” Todd’s muffled voice laughed beneath the platter’s lid.

The left side of the double door opened to reveal Anton Blum, in the flesh. The man wore a silk red bathrobe that hung off his wide frame like an awkwardly placed tablecloth. Despite his wide stature, Blum looked like he was just as much muscle as he was body fat. His massive nose sat in the center of his oval-shaped face, and his brown, sunken eyes stared me down as he looked the cart up and down.

Back in the living area of the suite, I could see Sia sitting uncomfortably on the couch. She was still in the lacey red sundress that the other succubi had picked out for her that ran down to her knees and did its best to push up her tiny breasts. The succubus madame looked like she was bored with this entire affair.

She was probably just as ready to kill this asshole as I was.

“What’s the deal?” Blum crossed his arms and pouted. “I wanted two steaks, two lobsters, and a fuckton of mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. All I see is one plate! What the fuck kind of joint is this?”

“I assure you, sir, that I have exactly what you need right here.” I reached down and placed my hand on the lid of the silver platter.

In one swift motion, I yanked the cover upward, and Todd sprang up onto Blum’s face.

“I’m a huge fan!” the imp giggled as he started to lash out at his target.

The man let out screams of terror as the imp used his claws to turn his ugly mug into an even uglier bloody mess. He stumbled back into his room and then tossed Todd off to the side in a panic.

The attack had distracted the scumbag long enough for Sia to conjure up a spell, and a beam of Sia’s black fire caught Blum from behind and lifted him up into the air. As he kicked and struggled for breath, something underneath his skin began to move. Two brown bat-like wings sprouted from his back, a pair of stumpy horns popped out of his forehead, and his irises turned pitch-black.

This must have been his true form.

Without waiting another moment, I summoned up my own red Hellfire and unleashed a blast right in the demon’s chest.

And that’s when Cupiditas and Libidine crashed through two of the windows across the room, right on cue, and unleashed their own attacks on the movie producer. A hailstorm of yellow daggers from Liby and red Hellfire from Cupi and me struck Blum’s suspended body from both sides. The demon lit up like a Christmas tree as the fire danced around his bulky frame.

Blum let out an ungodly wail of pain as his figure was engulfed in a blinding bright light. His deep, guttural screams grew louder and louder for a few minutes until they finally came to an abrupt stop.

The four of us quelled our magic, and Anton Blum’s charred skeleton collapsed onto the tile floor.

“Aww man.” Todd walked over and brushed off his shoulder. “And here I was really looking forward to Space Vixens 69. It was going to be his magnum opus.”

“Sounds like my kinda movie,” I quipped back as I laughed and let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness you got here so quickly,” Superbia muttered. “I didn’t know how much more of his nonsense I could take before I ripped off his dick and shoved it down his throat.” She cast a glance down at herself. “Can I take this dress off now?”

“Normally, that’s not a request I’d ever deny.” I smirked at the redheaded succubus. “But how about we wait until we’re somewhere a little more private?”

“Ugh, I don’t see how you girls have gotten used to these itchy garments.” Sia rolled her eyes and scratched at her shoulder.

“I’ve actually developed a soft spot for Earth clothes,” Liby smiled.

“They are also perfect for espionage,” Cupiditas chimed in. “Apparently Earth girls don’t like to walk around naked as we do in Hell.”

“Unless you’re at a titty bar,” Todd corrected.

“A titty bar?” Libidine asked.

“Yeah.” Todd clapped his hands together gleefully. “It’s this magical place you can go where they serve you beer and food while the waitresses get all up in your face with their goods!”

“So, Blum is dead,” I said in an effort to bring us back to the topic at hand. Then I reached into my pocket, pulled out the list of confirmed demons, and crossed his name off. “There’s a couple more actors and producers on this list that he definitely would have known. Todd, go check his phone and see if they’re in his contacts.”

“Right away, Jakey!” Todd scurried toward the bedroom area of the suite and disappeared behind the whitewashed wall.

With the threat gone, I finally took a moment to get a good look at the suite. The place was really nice. Todd and I had been in Phoenix before, but we’d normally slept in our car or crashed on some random dude’s couch. We’d never had the money to stay in a luxury resort like this.

A Victorian-style chandelier hung from the ten-foot tall ceilings, and the entire floor of the suite was made of hardwood. The living area of this particular room had a fireplace surrounded by white marble and topped with an elegant, stone-chiseled trim. Everything in the area had muted, earthy colors, and the overall aesthetic felt like it was subtle, yet tasteful.

“It’s quite nice, isn’t it?” Sia smiled and put her hand on the small of my back as if she had read my mind. “It’s almost a shame that we had to mess up the feng shui by adding a corpse.”

“I dunno, I think it really ties the place together.” I laughed and put my hand on the redhead’s shoulder.

“See?” Cupi playfully smacked Liby on the arm. “I told you they would bond, eventually.”

“We’re not-- It’s not like that!” Sia pulled out of my grip the second she heard the blonde’s words.

“Then what is it like?” Libidine’s mouth twisted into a sly grin as the words left her mouth. “Don’t you love Jacob?”

“Of course I do.” Superbia crossed her arms in annoyance. “I was-- It’s just--”

“I found it!” Todd exclaimed as he came running back to our side with what I assumed was Anton Blum’s cell phone in his hand. His actions brought everyone’s attention off Sia and onto the newfound clue. The imp handed the device to me, and I clicked the button on the side.

“Damn, it’s locked.” I sighed. “Any ideas on what his password could be?”

“That’s easy.” Todd placed both hands on his hips. “Try ‘696969.’”

“There is no way his password is ‘696969.’” I laughed as I punched in the numbers. “See? It’s--”

The password was accepted, and I now had access to the phone of one of Hollywood’s biggest movie producers.

“You can thank me later, bro.” Todd chuckled. “Preferably with nachos.”

“I guess pervs all think alike,” Cupi joked with an eye roll. “Seriously, I probably would have taken that asshole out even if he wasn’t a demon. Creeping on young girls like that.”

“Who knows?” I pondered as I scrolled through Blum’s contacts. “Maybe after we get done slaying all these demons, we can use our powers to focus on the world of man? There’s certainly a lot of fucked-up shit that we mortals do to each other.”

Then, my eyes caught a familiar name in the producer’s list, and I froze in place. Robert Quinn, a high-level CEO at one of Silicon Valley’s leading tech companies. Quinn was one of the “white whales” of our demon list, a man we’d wanted to go after for weeks but didn’t really know how. He was just too powerful and well-known in the public sphere.

“It looks like Blum knew Robert Quinn,” I explained.

“This may finally give us a chance to bring that fucker down!” Cupi slammed her left fist into her right palm.

“Exactly,” I started. “Quinn is far too protected for us to get to him on our own. But if we borrow some of this asshole’s resources--”

“We could get close enough to kill him.” Libidine finished.

“The problem is, we have no idea where he is located,” Sia sighed. “His contact may be in Blum’s phone, but he could be over in Europe right now for all we know. That’s why he’s been such a difficult demon to catch.”

“But you see, Superbia, we have something that we didn’t have before,” I turned to Todd and held out the phone. “Would you like to do the honors, bro? I know you love using that new power you just discovered the other day.”

“Fuck yes I do,” the imp giggled as he swiped the device out of my hand. “It makes me feel just like the Terminator.”

Todd’s tiny finger pushed the “call” button next to Robert Quinn’s name, and the phone lit up with a light blue screen. It rang on speaker for a solid thirty seconds before a gruff, southern voice answered on the other side.

“Hey there, Quinn,” Todd said as his voice now sounded exactly like Anton Blum’s. “Long time no see.”

“What in the ever-lovin’ fuck are you talking about, Blum?” Quinn’s twangy voice grumbled back. “We just saw each other last night!”

“Sorry, I have to admit I was a little fucked up yesterday,” Todd retorted. “My memory of last night isn’t exactly the best.”

“Seriously?” Quinn sounded annoyed. “Did your dumb ass also forget that we’re supposed to meet tonight?”

“Oh yeaahhh.” I could tell that Todd was trying his hardest not to speak with his normal sarcastic tone. “I totally remember. But just for the sake of anyone else who might be attending, where are we meeting again?”

“Damn it, Blum!” the voice on the other side spat. “The forest, with the rest of the group. Just like we do every couple of months. Has all that coke finally fried your brain?”

“You’re just jealous that I’m the life of the party,” Todd let his signature snark out for a moment.

“Mention that you’ve got somebody you want him to meet,” I whispered into the imp’s ear. “A young hotshot tech guy.”

“Speaking of the group,” Todd continued in Blum’s voice. “I’ve got somebody I want you to meet.”

“What the fuck is this, a blind date?” The man on the other side sounded completely dumbfounded. “This is some top secret stuff, Blum.”

“I know that.” Todd grinned, and it looked like it was taking everything he had to keep from bursting out in laughter. “But this guy is cool. He’s an up-and-coming young hotshot in the tech industry who’s been dying to meet you.”

“I don’t have time for this shit, Blum.” The voice on the other line was fuming. “I’m already on a tight schedule as it is. I have a flight to catch immediately after we’re done tonight.”

“I promise it’ll be worth every minute of your time,” Todd pleaded. “This guy is a total prodigy with security systems and all that fancy software shit that you do. We met this morning, and he told me all about how much he loves your work and how he’s looking for a new business partner. One thing led to another, and before I knew it I was offering to set you two up for a meeting.”

“Today,” I mouthed to the imp.

“A meeting today,” he continued.

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Quinn asked. “After all the complaining you did last night, you think I’m just going to up and let some random guy you found into my business empire?”

“He’s not just some random guy,” Todd explained. “He’s a fucking genius, and I don’t use that term lightly. He’s even going to sweeten the deal by bringing his whole harem of hot women along as a token of his appreciation. I just spent the day with the redhead, and let me tell you, it was amazing.”

There was a moment of hesitation on the other side.

“Is he one of us?” the gruff voice asked.

“Of course he is.” Todd exclaimed. “I wouldn’t even be giving him the time of day if he wasn’t. Where are you at right now?”

“Seriously?” Quinn asked. “I’m still at my mansion here in Phoenix.”

My heart sank when he said the words. Robert Quinn was within our grasp.

“Can you text me over the address?” Todd asked the man on the other side. “I got a new phone and completely lost all the messages from the last few days.”

“You idiot,” Quinn sighed. “I’ll send you the address as soon as we get off the phone.”

“Thanks a bundle!” Todd said in a tone that bordered on sarcasm.

“Just remember,” the gruff voice warned. “I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for the cause, and because I want to believe you about his women.”

“No problem, Quinn,” Todd confirmed. “They’re as good as yours.”

“This better be worth my time,” the voice muttered. “For his sake, and yours.”

There was a quick beep and then silence as the call was ended.

“What did we just get ourselves into?” Todd finally asked.

“We found out where Quinn is.” I sat down in the muted brown sofa and placed my hands behind my head. “Now he’s going to expect a visit from one of Anton Blum’s associates.”

“But instead, he’s going to meet our wrath.” Cupiditas smirked and plopped down next to me.

“Maybe.” I shook my head back and forth. “It was probably a bad idea to just rush into this attack without a plan, but when else are we going to have a chance to bring down the untouchable Robert Quinn?”

“Never.” Cupiditas placed her hand on my shoulder. “You made the right call. If we don’t get him today, he’ll be impossible to find. He’s always on a plane.”

“What is the plan, Jacob?” Cupi asked as she swung her leg around and then wiggled her ass up into my lap.

“We need to prepare for whatever this fucker is going to throw at us,” I said as I looked at the three beautiful women. “Do we know what kind of powers we’re dealing with here?”

“Flauros is a demon who mostly relies on smooth talking and deception to get what he wants,” Sia explained. “He’s also known as a demon of vengeance.”

“Then that makes total sense how he got to be a multi-billion dollar CEO.” I nodded. “So he’s ruthless and can manipulate people. Is that all?”

“He’s also very powerful with his red Hellfire,” Cupi added. “Unlike you or I, he can conjure it in any position without so much as batting an eye.”

“Uhhh, what does that mean?” I asked.

“He can… hmmm.” Sia tapped her cheek with her finger and then she snapped her fingers. “He can just make his fire appear anywhere. It doesn’t have to travel like an arrow.”

“Fuck,” both Todd and I said in unison.

“He has teleporting red Hellfire.” I rubbed my eyes again. “How are we going to counter that?”

“No need to fear, Jacob.” Sia ran her small fingers through my brown locks. “That’s what I’m here for. My black Hellfire of fear is more than just a deadly telekinesis. It also can subdue other magic user’s powers, if the caster is weak enough.”

“Will it work on Flauros?” I asked the redhead.

Sia shook her head. “It will, but only if the five of us can chip away at his strength first.”

“Oh, so just another battle of attrition with an eons old demon on his home turf," I laughed. “No biggie.”

“Bro, I think we could do that in our sleep,” Todd chuckled, but I recognized that his laugh sounded just like the laugh he would do when he was actually nervous.

I looked around at all of my friends. They looked hopeful, but there was also more than a bit of fear in their eyes.

This was going to be our hardest battle yet.

“I really wish we had more time to think this through, but it sounds like we have something that at least resembles a plan,” I said.

“Now, who’s ready to go demon hunting again?”

Chapter 2

Shadow, our black Jeep Wrangler we’d picked up back in Boston, glided down the desert highway at breakneck speed toward Robert Quinn’s mansion. A bit of research had told us that the CEO owned a vacation home here in Phoenix and that he was currently in town for some major tech conference.

“There’s something I’m still not getting, Jakey.” Todd raised his hand from the passenger seat as if he were a kid in grade school, so I gave him a nod to continue. “Why would Anton Blum be in contact with the CEO of a tech company? I know they’re both demons and all, but there’s not, like, some giant group chat of Hellspawns or anything... is there?”

“It is strange,” Cupiditas said from the backseat. “Most demons are egotistical and stubborn. They hate each other for the most part and only get together when they have to work toward a common purpose.”

“In short, demons are assholes.” Liby shrugged. “But you of all people should already know that, Jacob.”

“I think this is a fairly open and shut case,” Sia’s voice chimed in. “They are both trying to influence mortal men from the highest level of society. What more of a common purpose do you need?”

I nodded. “Agreed. There have been murmurs on the internet that Quinn was looking to spread his company’s influence by creating new entertainment technologies and apps,” I explained. “I would almost bet money that this is that ‘top secret’ project he’s been talking to Blum about.”

“Bro, it’s ingenious.” Todd laid back on the black interior of the Jeep. “A demon puts an app on every cell phone in the world? It’ll be like that old book, 1984. He who controls the mind and all that.”

“Wow, Todd, I’m shocked you’ve read that one,” I said in a surprised tone.

“Bro, I’m upper, upper class, high society.” The imp giggled as he adjusted a fake bowtie on his neck. “God’s gift--”

“I know the song,” I laughed.

“I just thought the girls would get a kick out of it.” Todd shrugged. “‘Big balls’ and all.”

“What was that about big balls?” Libidine perked up. “Are we talking about Jacob?”

“Seriously, Superbia, you need to see them sometime!” Cupi giggled to her redheaded friend. “It’s not just an expression.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up.” Todd shook his head and stuck his finger in his mouth to make a gagging motion. “Anyway, back to this cowboy-hat wearing fucker we’re going to see. What’s our plan, again?”

“I’m going to pretend to be some hotshot, up-and-coming software engineer,” I explained. “I’ll bullshit my way through with some business jargon the best I can, but he’s going to realize something is up eventually. Hopefully, by that time, the Invisible Imp can have one of his magnificent demon traps set up for the asshole.”

“Ooooh,” Todd responded giddily. “Whaddya want me to hit him with? One of the Pentacles of Saturn? An Inuit Bone Trap? What about the eggshell method of Sardis? I’ve always wanted to try to capture a demon with an egg!”

“Let’s just stick with the Key of Solomon,” I said with a laugh. “We know that one works.”

“Fine,” Todd sighed, “but you’re missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to capture a demon with an egg.”

“What will our role in this charade be, Jacob?” Sia asked.

“You guys get the greatest role of them all, Superbia.” I smiled as I looked back at the women in the rearview mirror. “First, you three get to be my super-sexy supermodel girlfriends.”

“Models?” Sia asked.

“Yep,” I said. “I’ll love showing you off.”

“Yay!” Liby exclaimed at the thought of being flaunted, and even Cupiditas let a smile slide up the corner of her mouth. Superbia tried to remain stone-faced, but I could tell by the glimmer in her eyes that she was just as excited as the other two succubi.

“Quinn will also have at least a couple of armed guards at his place,” I continued. “Your second task will be to take them out while I’m shooting the shit with this asshole.”

When I looked back in the mirror again, I saw that the succubi’s emotions were all reversed. Libidine looked somewhat nonchalant while Cupi and Sia were grinning ear to ear at the prospect of combat.

Maybe I was finally getting the hang of these girls.

Robert Quinn’s house was only about a twenty-minute drive away from the Royal Palms Resort, in the Encanto neighborhood of Phoenix. It was where most of the rich folk of Arizona liked to take up residence, and this guy was no exception. As we pulled up to his summer home mansion, I couldn’t help but marvel at its elegance.

The whole place looked like it could have easily set this guy back many millions of dollars. Quinn’s mansion was three stories of whitish-gray stucco in the Spanish Mission style. Atop the red tile roof sat a small balcony surrounded by a black iron rail, and I noticed an armed security guard standing there at his post.

The sight of the rifle in his hand made my heart thump in my chest, but I tried to remain calm.

“Todd, time for stealth mode,” I whispered to the imp.

The imp nodded and then whistled a popular spy tune as he vanished from sight.

Shadow pulled up into the driveway, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guard on the roof stand up and draw his weapon. Before we could even exit the vehicle, two more armed security personnel greeted us.

“Hello, sir,” the first guard uttered coldly. “What brings you to the Quinn estate today?”

“Name’s Marcus Pearson.” I nodded. “Mr. Quinn is expecting me and my friends back there. We’re associates of Anton Blum.”

“Ah.” The guard nodded without changing his facial expression. “He said you’d be coming.”

The second man opened the passenger side back door and motioned for the succubi to exit the vehicle.

“Who are they?” the guard asked as he gestured to Sia, Cupi, and Libby.

“My girlfriends,” I explained as I got out of the Jeep.

“These are your girlfriends?” the first guard asked as he glanced up and down Libby’s long legs with both his eyebrows raised.

“Marcus is a wonderful lover,” Libby giggled and winked at the guard checking her out.

“He’s also a rich up-and-coming software engineer,” Sia repeated my earlier words in a canned voice. “We are supermodels, and supermodels love men with money.”

“Uhh, okay,” the first guard said as he gave me a respectful nod.

“What’s with all the security?” I jokingly asked to change the subject. “Afraid Bill Gates is coming to take out the competition?”

“I would hold my tongue once you get inside,” the first guard sighed as we followed him and his partner toward the main entrance. “Mr. Quinn isn’t really one for jokes.”

The second guard knocked on the large door four times in a row, paused, and then rapped six times more. There was the muffled, mechanical sound of a deadbolt as it was unlocked, and then the door slowly opened.

“Follow me, and don’t wander off,” the guard posted behind the door said as he motioned for us to enter.

The four of us stepped through the threshold of the mansion, and our eyes were instantly filled with awe.

All throughout the dwelling, there were pristine white marble floors bespeckled with gray. Just through the front door of the mansion, a sprawling two-way staircase soared upward, and in the center of the foyer stood a table with an elaborate bust of Robert E. Lee. Topping off the room was a large, black chandelier that hung from the ceiling as its crystals cast dancing prisms of light around the entryway.

The guard led us through the fancy room and toward the back of the house. As we passed through the kitchen, I took note of the ten-foot ceilings, marble countertops, and jet-black appliances.

This guy was more loaded than I ever could have imagined.

“Mr. Quinn is out here.” The guard nodded as he opened the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. “I’ll be right here the whole time, so don’t get any dumb ideas.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I awkwardly chuckled.

The succubi and I stepped out onto the concrete patio of the mansion and were greeted with a long tile walkway. At the end of the path a man in a tan suit with a white cowboy hat sat next to an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

Robert Quinn.

Quinn had a lowball glass of what appeared to be whiskey in his hand. He turned to greet us as he heard our footsteps approaching from behind, and I was able to get a better view of his face. On TV, Robert Quinn looked much younger than he really was. His human form appeared to be in at least in his sixties, judging by the wrinkles that ran across his face and the massive gray mustache that twiddled under his lip.

He certainly didn’t look like your typical tech CEO.

From what I had learned on the internet, Robert Quinn was one of those “old money” types, born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had never experienced a single day of hardship in his entire life. After successfully taking over his father’s oil business in the eighties, he diversified his profits by buying up a small tech company in Silicon Valley. By the mid-two-thousands, Quinn’s new endeavor was making him ten times the money as his oil company had in the past decade. Now, he was one of the most powerful men in the world.

Or at least that’s what his biography would lead you to believe. The whole “rich cowboy CEO” act was just a charade to hide his real background.

We knew that Robert Quinn was actually Flauros, a demon as old as the Earth itself.

“You must be Anton’s acquaintance!” Quinn walked down the path and outstretched his hand to greet us. “Robert Quinn. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Marcus Pearson.” I gave my go-to fake name as I shook his hand. “Mr. Blum has told me a lot about you.”

“And who are these three beauties?” Quinn glanced over at each of the succubi before he took each girls’ hand one-by-one and kissed them delicately.

“Such a gentleman!” Libidine cooed.

“These are my girlfriends,” I explained. “I know, I can barely believe it myself sometimes.”

“You’re a lucky man, Mr. Pearson.” Quinn shook his head back and forth. “My ol’ body wouldn’t even know what to do if I snagged myself one of those sexy ladies. Lots of little blue pills would be needed, that’s for sure!”

“I take care of them, and they take care of me,” I said as I tried to figure out what exactly was this guy’s game was. He was a total asshole to Todd on the phone, but now he was pretending to be the most friendly and laid-back man in the world. I just hoped our invisible imp could get that trap set before Quinn caught onto us.

“Anyway, let’s talk business, Mr. Pearson.” Quinn put his arm around my shoulder and then looked back at the succubi. “Girls, go enjoy yourself. This is man-talk. There’s an entire wine cellar in the basement. Why don’t you go pick yerself out something fancy?”

The three women smiled happily, but I could see the concern in their eyes. I gave them a reassuring nod, and the succubi turned and walked back toward the sliding glass door with a wave.

“So, Anton tells me that you want in on our little endeavor?” the man in the tan suit asked as we approached the pool. “Why should I allow it? This isn’t small potatoes, Mr. Pearson. What we’re planning to do will change the course of human history.”

“I didn’t realize I was in for a job interview.” I chuckled. “I believe in your organization’s mission and everything it stands for. I have a lot of connections, a lot of capital, and a lot of talent. You need me as much as I need you.”

Quinn’s eyes narrowed. “And what, may I ask, got you interested in our mission?”

Shit. He was getting suspicious.

“Look, Robert-- Can I call you Rob?” I laughed. “I’ve been interested in the tech industry since college, and I’ve looked up to you as a businessman ever since I was a wee lad.”

“Son, I’d appreciate it if you’d stop blowing smoke up my ass.” Quinn finished off his whiskey and then nonchalantly tossed the glass aside. “Tell me why you’re really here, Jacob Ralston.”

Aw fuck.

“Am I that bad of an actor?” I shrugged and tensed my body.

“Word travels quickly in the demon world, Jacob.” He shook his head and laughed. “Did you really think I wouldn’t know the man who banished Azazel? I’m sure you thought you’d waltz right in here and kill me like you’ve done to so many of my brethren.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying,” I said as my eyes darted around for the first hint of the trap he had no doubt set.

“You ain’t as clever as you think you are,” Quinn continued. “Demon hunters have been trying to kill me ever since the Vatican discovered our little secret way back when. But now? You’ve walked right into my trap. I’ve had a sniper with enchanted bullets aiming at you this entire time, and your succubi are being apprehended by my men as we speak.”

“You sure about that?” I raised an eyebrow. “My women are tough as nails. The three of them have more balls than you’ll ever have.”

“That’s amusing, son. They told me you had a wit about you, and I’m glad I got to hear it first hand, Jacob.” Quinn laughed gleefully. “But all good things must come to an end.”

The mustachioed asshole snapped his fingers, but nothing happened. He snapped them again and pointed to me. Quinn let out an angry sigh before he whistled and snapped his fingers once more.

All I could do was laugh.

“Did you really think we were going to meet you here without a plan?” I clicked my tongue. “I’m the guy that defeated the Master of Warfare, for fuck’s sake!”

As if right on cue, the bodies of Quinn’s three guards plummeted into the pool with a splash. From above, Cupiditas and Libidine fluttered down onto the ground. Then the two succubi’s hands lit up with Hellfire as they prepared to attack.

“That would be your sniper,” I chuckled and pointed to the floating bodies.

“Ahh well.” The cowboy took off his hat, tossed it to the side, and took a fighting stance. “My powers are gonna be more than enough to deal with a little pansy-ass city boy and his whores.”

“You just fucked up twice,” I growled I summoned green Hellfire into my hands. “Missouri, born and raised, and no one calls my women whores.”

I conjured up a Hellfire portal with a flick of a wrist, and Libidine threw her yellow daggers into its swirling abyss. The projectiles reappeared behind Quinn just as Cupiditas unleashed her own time-freezing spell on the demon.

Quinn rolled his eyes, and then the daggers that had been headed in his direction erupted in flames and disintegrated. He twisted out of the way of Cupi’s freezing spell, backflipped over the concrete, and came to a halt in the grass beside the pool.

Then Flauros outstretched his hand, and a massive wave of Hellfire sprang up from beneath our position.

The second I felt the heat of the fire, I tossed down a barrier of purple below the succubi and me. Quinn’s attack smashed harmlessly into the violet flames, but the impact of the attack sent my body flying up into the air.

I tumbled through the sky for a few moments, but then I felt the familiar arms of Libidine wrap around my body and halt my descent.

“Hold on, Jacob!” the curvy woman exclaimed as I felt her breasts press up firmly against my back.

Below, I could see Cupiditas and Quinn engaged in combat as blasts of blue and red flew across the landscape.

“Strafing run?” I asked the black-haired woman.

“Just what I was thinking,” she responded.

Libidine aimed her trajectory at the man in the tan suit, and I unleashed a hailstorm of red Hellfire down on his position. The blasts crashed into the ground around the demon and sent sprays of artificial turf and dirt into the air.

Quinn looked up at us, and then I saw his arm reach upwards.

“Hold tight!” Liby exclaimed as she whipped to the right.

Just as she did so, I felt an intense burst of red Hellfire explode beside us.

“Gotcha!” I heard Cupi call out from below, and I glanced down to see Flauros trapped in a beam of the fit succubus’ blue Hellfire.

The man in the tan suit was struggling to break free, and I had no doubt that he would if we didn’t act quickly.

“Get me closer!” I demanded the succubus.

“Got it!” Liby swooped down as I charged my red Hellfire, and once we were within point-blank range of the demon, I released the attack.

Quinn’s eyes widened as the flames engulfed him, and the ground around the demon was burnt to a crisp. He let out a howl of pain, and then he was flung back across the artificial turf of his yard. The demon rolled across the ground for a few dozen feet, and then I stopped him with a cast of my emerald flame.

The dark-haired succubus sat me down on the ground, and I held the attack on Quinn as I approached him cautiously.

Flauros let out a primal growl as he clenched his fists, and I barely ducked out of the way of the incoming sliver of Hellfire that swooped past my head.

From behind, alternating blasts of yellow daggers, and red fireballs flew past and struck the man in the tan suit. Once the fucker looked like he was a pincushion, I heaved my arm to the side and threw him into the pool.

Quinn hoisted himself up out of the water, shook off like a dog shedding rain after coming inside from a storm, and then adjusted his suit.

“I’m impressed,” he panted. “I guess I should have expected more from the man who brought down Azazel.”

Then the demon tossed his hands out to the side and created a massive fire wall to the left and the right of our bodies. He clapped his hands together, and I had to throw up violet walls of my own to stop them from crushing us.

While I was distracted with keeping the walls at bay, I felt a blast of red-hot fire smash into my torso. The wind was knocked out of my body completely, and it took everything in my power to keep from collapsing and releasing my own spell.

The two succubi continued to attack the man in the tan suit as I felt the walls literally closing in around us.

I didn’t know how much longer I could hold this guy.

“Don’t feel bad, Ralston,” Quinn hissed as he weakly disintegrated a couple more of Liby’s spears. “I’ve been perfecting my powers for a millenia.”

I could tell that Quinn was still powerful, but his voice sounded pained, his skin was burning in places, and he seemed to be struggling to juggle two of his spells at the same time.

This was our chance.

I whistled out to Sia, and a black beam of Hellfire shot across the landscape and engulfed the demon.

Instantly, the red Hellfire walls disappear with a puff of smoke.

I looked up at Quinn, whose body was now surrounded by a dark flame, and saw that he was trying to run. I reached out, caught him with a jade spell, and then tossed him back toward the house.

The demon’s body smashed through the sliding glass door as if it were made of cardboard and then disappeared from view.

“Excellent work, guys,” I called out as the four of us ran toward the mansion. “Now we just need to make sure Todd did his part!”

As I dashed through the broken glass of the sliding door, a wide grin spread across my face when I saw that my best friend had set up his trap.

Robert Quinn was frozen in midair above a Key of Solomon that had been scratched into the kitchen floor. The asshole grimaced and tensed as he tried to free himself, but his powers were completely useless now that he was enchanted by Sia’s magic.

“It’s a work of art, isn’t it?” Todd leaned against one of the black cabinets and pretended to file his claws. “At this point, I think I could draw one of these things in my sleep.”

“You’ve outdone yourself, Todd.” I laughed. “That’s why you’re the Robin to my Batman.”

“The Samwise to your Frodo?” The imp giggled. “The Garth to your Wayne? The Hooch to your Turner?”

“A little obscure with that one, but sure thing.” I shrugged.

“That was ingenious, Jacob,” Cupiditas mused as she walked around the floating CEO. “For a moment there I thought Quinn may have had us on the ropes. But just for a moment.”

“It’s all thanks to Sia.” I nodded to the redhead. “She’s the only one of us with enough control over her black Hellfire to pull it off.”

“It was nothing, really.” Superbia blushed. “I’m just doing what my master ordered.”

“Sister,” Libidine put her hand on the redhead’s shoulder, “you don’t have to keep referring to Jacob as master. We are far beyond that now.”

“Unless you want to get him all hot and bothered.” Libidine bit her lip. “Then it works wonders.”

“I suppose I don’t,” Sia mused with a sigh. “I’m just so used to Azazel and his ridiculous rules. You know that he always wanted me to call him ‘father’ when we were in private?”

“Ewww.” Liby made a gagging expression.

“Freud would have a field day.” Todd laughed.

A growl from Quinn snapped us back into reality and reminded us that we still had a job to do. I walked over to the suspended demon and squatted down so that I could stare him directly in the eyes.

“Look here, Robert,” I sneered. “You’re just another name to cross off our list. I would have loved nothing more than to fry you the instant you touched the Key of Solomon, but that would ruin the rest of the plan. See, I wanted to make sure that you know what’s going to happen. We’re going to kill you, and then we’re going to take this fancy mansion of yours. It’ll make a nice base of operations for our demon-hunting gig. I appreciate that you’ve already paid it off for us.”

The frozen man snarled at my words, but there was nothing he could do but stare into my eyes helplessly.

“And then?” I continued. “My imp friend over there is going to impersonate you, leave an ominous voicemail to the shareholders, and voila! Your company is gone. Your legacy is gone. All because you were too much of a piece of shit to stay in Hell where you belonged.”

Quinn mumbled something that sounded close to “fuck you,” but I was already done with this asshole.

I summoned red hellfire into my right hand and then placed it on the man’s forehead. He let out a muffled squeal of pain as the imprint of my palm burned into his face, and red Hellfire began to engulf his body. Seconds later, Robert Quinn’s entire figure was burning bright at five thousand degrees. I conjured a shield of purple to surround the fucker and keep the deadly flames from spreading to the rest of the mansion. Quinn’s screams continued for a few minutes and then died out.

When I released the purple barrier, all that was left of his body was a pile of ashes. There was a long, tense silence that filled the room.

“So… That was intense.” Todd finally interjected. “Can I have his cowboy hat?”

“Of course you can.” I nodded. “This whole place is ours now.”

Chapter 3

I let out a long sigh of relief as I relaxed in a lounge chair and puffed on one of the cigars I’d found in Quinn’s study. It’d only been a few hours since we’d slain the demon and taken out his guards, but we’d decided that we’d had enough demon hunting for the week. Now we had this giant mansion all to ourselves, and we were going to have some fun.

It all started with the Olympic-sized swimming pool in the backyard. The girls and I laid out in a set of fancy black wicker chairs and soaked up some rays. The bright Arizona sun beat down in full force, causing visible waves of heat to radiate off the ground. While I had taken off everything but my boxers to keep from overheating and slathered on a truly ridiculous amount of sunscreen, the hundred-degree weather didn’t seem to bother any of my friends.

They were demons after all.

“Bro, brooooo!” Todd called out from the high dive.

“What’s up, Todd?” I looked over at the diving board out of the side of my vision.

“I wanna get higher!” he yelled.

“Of course you do,” I laughed.

With the wave of my hand, I conjured up four barriers of purple fire above the imp’s head to form a makeshift staircase. My friend hopped up onto the platforms one by one and then paused when he reached the top. Now about sixty feet above the ground, the imp squatted down, placed his hands together, and prepared for the dive.

“I’m going for the Gold,” he said with a giggle before he jumped off the violet flames.

Todd curled up into a ball and spun around like a hamster wheel as he plummeted toward the crisp blue water below. About ten feet from the surface of the pool, the imp opened up his body into a spread eagle pose.

“Belly flooooooop!” he cackled with glee just before he smacked into the water, and I couldn’t help but laugh as the miniature tidal wave sloshed up over the side of the pool and splashed onto the dark-haired succubi's feet.

“The water’s so cold!” Liby squealed playfully.

“I can tell.” Cupiditas smirked as she nodded toward her friend’s diamond hard nipples.

As soon as the charade we had been playing was over, the girls had all abandoned their clothes faster than I could blink. Now, all three of them sat buck naked in their chairs. Libidine’s jet-black hair hung down the front her curvy body like a curtain that had been pulled back in all the right places to expose her perky breasts. The succubus’s large chest bounced happily as she stood up to avoid more of the cold water and her sisters laughed at her plight.

Cupiditas had been even less modest. She had pulled back her short blonde hair into a ponytail so that I could have a full view of her perfect body. The fit woman sat in the chair with her arms and legs spread out to her side. Her small, supple breasts shimmered with sweat in the warmth of the day, and her open legs left nothing to the imagination.

Not that I would have had it any other way.

Then there was Sia. The redheaded madame was the most relieved of the group to be out of her clothing, but she wasn’t as brash about her nudity as the other two. Superbia laid in the chair with her legs crossed and her arms folded over her flat stomach, just under her petite breasts. The madame had been sleeping, but she stirred and made a shushing sound in response to Libidine’s commotion.

“What’s the matter, Sia?” Libidine goaded the madame. “Trying to take a nap?”

“Libidine.” The redhead opened her eyes and shot the curvy succubus a dirty look. “I haven’t gotten a decent rest in six hundred years. The least you could do is let me catch a quick cat nap before--”

“We’d hate to interrupt your beauty sleep.” Cupiditas jumped up from her chair and then nodded to Liby. “But we want to go for a swim!”

“Wait, what are you--” Sia’s eyes widened as the two succubi tugged at her arms to bring her to her feet.

“It’ll be fun!” Libidine giggled. “I’ve always wanted to try to have sex underwater.”

“I’m going to sit this one out,” Sia protested. “Seriously, I’m exhausted. I’m still not used to the demon-hunting lifestyle quite yet.”

“Suit yourself, sister.” Cupi shrugged and then fell backward into the pool.

“Wait for me!” Liby grinned as she cannonballed in after the blonde.

“I… uh… I should probably get in there with them,” I awkwardly tried to explain to the redheaded succubi.

“By all means, have your fun with your succubi.” Sia smiled. “You’ve certainly earned it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to join in?” Liby called out from the pool. “There’s always room for one more. Or two. Or even three.”

“That’s my cue to get out of here!” Todd laughed as he dog-paddled over to the ladder. “I’m starving, anyway. I’m gonna go order some takeout while you guys do what you gotta do. Just make sure to add a fuckton more chlorine to this thing when you’re all done.”

Todd hoisted himself out of the pool and shook like a dog to dry off. Then he started off toward the mansion, paused about halfway there, and then turned around to motion to Sia.

“You comin’?” he asked.

“Actually, I think I’m going to stay,” the redhead bit her lip nervously. “but I just want to watch.”

“Toddster, out!” the imp threw up his arms in confusion and then booked it down the tile path.

“Is that okay, master?” Sia purred.

“I, uhhh sure. You can watch.”

“Of course it is!” Cupiditas said slyly. “On one condition. You have to join us next time.”

“We’ll see, Cupiditas,” the redhead protested. “For now, I just want to see how this mortal performs.”

“Oh, you won’t be disappointed,” Liby cooed. “Hop in, Jacob. The water is lovely.”

I walked toward the edge of the pool, but Cupi stopped me.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah.” I slid my boxers down my legs and tossed them off to the side.

Sia let out an audible gasp of surprise from behind me, and the eyes of the two succubi in the pool lit up with hunger.

“I told you he was big,” Cupiditas smirked.

“But not-- Holy fuck!” Sia covered her mouth as the curse slipped out.

“Wow, Jacob.” Liby laughed. “Your dick got Superbia to swear! That’s something that hasn’t happened in centuries.”

I couldn’t help but flash a smirk of pride at that. With one last nod and salute to Superbia, I made to head toward the pool, only before I could take more than two steps, I felt Superbia’s tiny hand on my arm.

I turned and found her looking at me, well, not so little me, anyway. “Um…” she said as she licked her lips. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one that… impressive.” She cleared her throat and tore her gaze from my cock. “Would it be okay if I touched it?”

“I thought you wanted to rest?” I asked as I arched an eyebrow at her.

“I do, it’s just…” she licked her lips. “I know I’m not ready to handle that yet, and I want it to be special, but it’s been so long, Jacob. I want to touch it. Would that be okay?”

“Do it!” Liby called from behind me.

“Yeah, let her massage that meat!” Cupi added, and as Sia flushed even darker, I nodded to the redheaded succubus.

“Go for it, Sia.”

“Thank you.” She gave me a nod. “Master.”

The next thing I knew, she’d wrapped her hand around my dick, and slowly began to stroke it. The feeling was practically indescribable, and I let out a moan as my knees practically buckled under me.

“Wow, it got even bigger,” she exclaimed as her practiced movements made me swell. “It’s probably the largest one I’ve ever seen.” She stopped suddenly and peered at the two succubi behind me. “I think he’s ready for you now, girls.” With that, she shoved me backward into the pool. The water felt frigid as it engulfed my body, but I knew that it was only going to be a temporary sensation.

We were about to turn this Olympic-sized pool into a hot tub.

My feet hit the bottom of the shallow end, and I propelled myself upward. Both of the succubi were on me as soon as my head broke up through the surface. Libidine stood on my left and ran one hand up and down my tense back while she used the other to stroke my cock sensually. On my right, Cupi leaned over and started kissing up and down my chest as her hand wandered down to help her friend.

“I still can’t believe we can both fit our hands around it at once,” Liby moaned.

“If only you could both fit your mouths around it at once,” I joked before I let out a moan of pleasure.

“That sounds like a dare.” Cupiditas licked her lips and looked up at me hungrily. “How long can you hold your breath, Liby?”

“We’re about to find out,” the curvy succubus responded.

Both of the women slowly slid down underneath the surface of the pool, and a wave of ecstasy hit me nearly instantly. The refraction of the water made it hard to see what they were doing clearly, but judging by the sensations I was feeling, one of them was running her tongue over my balls while the other was going to town on my dick.

While the blonde and the black-haired beauty continued to pleasure my cock, I looked over to see if Sia was enjoying herself.

The redheaded madame was sitting back down on the wicker chair as she bit her lip and pleasured herself. Her left hand slowly ran back and forth across her clit in a circular motion, and she had the pointer finger of her right hand slowly sliding in and out of her vagina. Sia’s face was getting redder and redder once she realized that I was now watching, but she didn’t stop.

She was most certainly enjoying herself as much as I was.

Cupi and Liby popped back out from under the water.

“I think Jacob is enjoying our double-team efforts,” Cupi giggled. “I can tell that he’s almost ready to blow!”

“It might have something to do with the show that Sia is putting on for him.” Liby winked and pointed over to the redhead going crazy on her clitoris.

“Well, we can’t stop here.” I grabbed Libidine around the waist, hoisted her up, and then slowly slid into her tight pussy. “We’ve gotta give her what she paid to see.”

“The money shot?” Cupi purred in my ear and rubbed my back. “That’s my favorite part.”

“Just… don’t… swallow it all… this time!” Liby gasped in between moans as she bounced up and down on my dick.

“No promises,” the blonde succubus said as she walked over to the dark-haired woman. “Though if you keep going like this, I’m not going to get a chance.”

“No need to be greedy,” I locked my gaze with Cupi’s violet eyes. “If I finish in Liby, then we’ll just have to go for round two.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can go!” Libidine moaned as her eyes rolled back in her head.

“In that case, let me help out.” The athletic succubus grinned slyly as she reached down and began to play with Libidine.

I continued to pound the curvy woman, whose moans of pleasure grew louder and louder. The succubus threw her upper body forward and wrapped it around my chest. She let out one final groan as her pussy quivered, and she came on top of me.

“Not… Not fair,” she panted to Cupi.

“All’s fair in love and war.” The blonde shrugged and made her way to the wall of the pool. “Both are things that I’m great at. Now, it’s my turn.”

Libidine let out another relaxed sigh as I slid her off me. My dick was incredibly hard, but the seductive way that Cupiditas motioned for me to join her made it feel like it was made of solid rock.

The blonde was standing in water that was only about four foot deep, and she bent over the edge of the pool. Her tight ass waited for me just underneath the surface, and she coyly beckoned for me with her finger.

I ran over to the fit succubus, put one hand on her back, and then slid myself into her from behind.

Cupi let out a groan of pleasure as I started to glide my cock in and out between the lips of her labia. After only a few pumps, her body started to quiver, and I quickened the pace. The blonde nearly screamed in ecstasy when I slid myself all the way inside of her, all the way down to the base.

Then I heard an angelic sound that nearly made me lose it right then and there. Sia’s moans sounded so innocent. So pure. And so sexy.

I looked up and stared at the redheaded succubus as I continued to pump into Cupi. Her violet eyes looked back at me longingly, so I gave the madame a sly smile and motioned with my head for her to come and join us.

Superbia’s face got even redder, and she started to shake her head back and forth. At the same time, her moans of pleasure grew louder, and she began to move her hands in double time. The redhead let out a soft sigh, and her body tensed up as she finished herself. She sank back into the chair, completely exhausted.

“Finally... you’re…. all…. mine.” Cupiditas gasped in time with my thrusts. “Let me do some work now.”

The blonde started to move her lower body back and forth on my dick, and I stopped moving to enjoy the ride. I watched her tight ass bounce up and down for a few moments, and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw both of my hands around the small of Cupi’s back and forcefully pulled her down on my dick as I unloaded inside of her.

The blonde let out a groan of pleasure as my cum filled her to the brim, and she laid her upper body down on the edge of the pool.

“That was exhausting,” she cooed. “But fun.”

“Next time, Sia, you should join us and not just watch.” Libidine laughed as she walked up the concrete steps to exit the pool. Her long black hair clung to her sexy body as she arched her back and stretched.

“I don’t know, Libidine,” the redhead said with a sigh. “I’m not sure I could handle what you guys just went through. There’s a reason I volunteered to be the madame, after all.”

“There’s only one way you’re going to find out.” I winked to the redhead as I exited the pool with Cupi in my arms.

“Is it safe to come out yet?” I heard Todd’s voice call out from the mansion. “I heard a distinct lack of moaning, so I figured that I’d ask.”

“We’re all still naked!” I laughed back at the imp as I sat the blonde down and reached for a pool towel.

“Well, our food is here,” Todd yelled. “If you lovebirds don’t get in here soon, it’s all going into the belly of the beast. By which I mean me.”

“You heard the imp,” I said as I wrapped the towel around my waist. “Dinner is served.”

“But it’s lunchtime.” Sia tapped her finger to her chin in confusion.

“It’s just an expression, sister.” Cupi chuckled. “Come. Er, should I say, come again?”

Sia’s face turned red, but she followed the other two succubi as they headed toward the door.

We had just slain demon number eight, taken his several million dollar mansion, and fucked in his pool. Now I was about to gorge myself on greasy Chinese takeout and shoot the shit with three beautiful naked women and my best friend.

Right now, my life couldn’t be described as anything but great.

Chapter 4

I wasn’t even that hungry, but the sight of all the food that Todd had ordered made my stomach turn over happily. The imp stood triumphantly on the kitchen table of Quinn’s mansion with his hands on his hips. All around him was what could only be described as a literal mountain of takeout containers, some of which he had already devoured.

“So, get this, bro,” he said through a mouthful of rice. “While you guys were out there playing hide the sausage, I went exploring the place, and guess what I found?”

“A collection of vintage Playboys?” I asked.

“An artisanal bong?” Liby asked.

“Bondage gear?” Cupi guessed.

“I guess I’m more predictable than I thought.” Todd chuckled and then plunked down a leather square on the table. “When we fried this bastard, he didn’t have his wallet on him. That means we’ve got all his credit cards, his social security number, and most importantly…”

“An imp that can impersonate Quinn and approve all his transactions!” Sia exclaimed.

“Exactly, little miss sunshine.” Todd giggled. “I knew I would find my true calling, eventually. Somehow I always knew it would probably involve identity theft.”

“How much did you spend on all of this?” I asked as I marveled at the dozens of boxes on the table.

“Not that much.” Todd shrugged. “Just a couple hundred dollars.”

“A couple hundred?” Sia exclaimed. “How much did he have on his credit line?”

“I dunno.” The imp picked up an eggroll and bit into it. “I’m more of a ‘spend first, worry later’ type of demon.”

I chuckled. “That would be why we were always a month behind on rent.”

“You may give me shit for that, but look at us now.” Todd threw out his arms exaggeratedly. “This whole mansion is ours! We can finally tell that fatass landlord of ours to go fuck himself, and we’ll never have to worry about bills ever again.”

Superbia laughed. “Not if you keep spending money like it's going out of style.”

“Hey now, firechild.” Todd pointed a stubby finger at Sia. “I don’t tell you how to do your job. Just let the Toddster be himself and everything will be hunky-dory.”

“You still have much to learn about Heaven and Hell, Todd,” Cupi said with a raised finger. “Sister Superbia here was a madame for one of the most powerful demon lords in the universe. Management and financial prowess were a big part of her job!”

“Cupi is telling the truth.” Sia turned to me and shook her head. “I’ve been around for a long time, Jacob. I’ve seen many mortals through the years who get filthy rich and then squander all their money away on needless things until they end up broke.”  She sat up proudly. “I even have a Harvard MBA.”

“I’m also familiar with the NBA.” Todd snickered. “I’d like to think we’re better actors, though.”

“Nothing can be as bad as Kazaam,” I agreed.

“Or Space Jam.” Todd raised his finger. “That one was pretty bad too.”

“Let Superbia run the business side of things, Jacob,” Libidine said as she put her hand on my shoulder. “That will free up your mind for more important things. Like sex.”

“And demon slaying,” Cupi added.

“And more sex,” the dark-haired succubus reiterated.

“Alright, alright.” Todd threw up his hands in defeat. “From here on out, we’ll let the redhead be in charge of the finances.”

“Agreed.” I nodded. “I’m used to budgeting for a couple hundred dollars a month. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing with all this money we’ve accumulated over the last few weeks, anyway.”

“Just as long as we can keep buying fancy clothes.” Liby smiled.

“And all of this delicious Earth food.” Cupi giggled.

“I’m not a monster, girls,” Sia said with a smile. “As always, my foremost interest is to ensure my master and my girls are well taken care of. If this demon was as rich as Todd claims he is, then there will be plenty of money left over for festivities.”

“Speaking of which, the food is getting cold,” I reminded everyone. “Let’s dig in.”

“Bon appétit, my friends,” Todd said as he tossed me a container of the takeout. “This was from the best place in town, and I can already tell you that it’s worth every penny.”

I opened up the pint-sized white and red box and was instantly hit with a salty and sweet aroma of soy sauce and teriyaki. The tender noodles in the box were entangled between chunks of golden pan-fried chicken and a stir-fry mixture containing carrots, broccoli, bok choy, and crispy water chestnuts. Topping off the delicious concoction was a dark brown lo mein sauce that dripped off the entrée like molasses when I raised it to my mouth.

“What is this?” Sia picked up one of the golden-brown eggrolls and studied it. “It looks like an uncircumcised penis.”

“I can assure you that’s not what it is,” Cupiditas said with a laugh. “It’s one of the most delicious foods on the entire planet. Try it.”

The redheaded madame took a bite of the eggroll, and I could hear the crunch from all the way across the room. Sia’s eyes widened as she chewed, and then she swallowed and let out a squeak of joy.

“This is what you mortals here on Earth realm eat every day?” the madame balked. “Why didn’t I change allegiances sooner?”

“If you think that’s good, try this.” Todd extended his tiny arm and handed Sia another container. “Sweet and sour chicken is the shit.”

The redhead looked skeptical as she opened the box, but then shrugged and took a bite.

“Oh my lord.” Her eyes rolled back in her head. “Have you tried this, Jacob?”

I walked over to Sia with my pair of chopsticks, picked up a piece of the chicken, and tossed it into my mouth. The instant it hit my taste buds, my entire mouth filled with a sensation of the sauce’s tanginess mixed with the greasiness of the deep-fried batter.

It tasted like heaven on Earth.

“Bro, even the white rice here tastes like it was prepared by master chefs,” Todd mumbled as grains of the puffy side dish flew out of his mouth. “And I haven’t even tried the crab rangoons yet.”

“Are those like the lobsters we ate back in New England?” Cupi hesitated at the thought. “I don’t want bits of shell in my mouth again.”

“Nonono, dudette.” Todd laughed as he pulled out one of the yellow triangles. “This kind of crab is surrounded by a fried shell, not a protective one. Plus it’s filled with cheese and onions.”

Cupi took the rangoon from the imp, raised it to her mouth, and bit it in half. The pastry had been packed so tightly that the succubus’ bite caused a glob of thick, velvety cream cheese to explode out of the opposite side. She caught the falling white substance in her hand as she savored the texture of the food in her mouth. When she had finished the rangoon, Cupi looked over at me and seductively licked the remaining cream off her hand.

“I don’t know how much more I can handle,” Libidine groaned as she bit into a steamed dumpling.

“Didn’t we have this exact conversation a few minutes ago?” I raised my eyebrow coyly.

“We did.” Cupi laughed. “And like always, I was the one who finally pushed you both over the edge.”

“Thank your lucky stars that you don’t have to put up with Sister Ira,” Sia interjected. “She’d beat you within an inch of your life before she’d let you finish the job.”

“I didn’t see you helping.” The blonde stuck out her tongue at her madame.

“I helped plenty, didn’t I Jacob?” Sia winked. “And I didn’t even have to lift a finger.”

I laughed. “I think you lifted a few fingers if I remember correctly.”

“Three,” Sia bashfully cooed.

“Guys, unless you want to see all of this delicious food come back up on the floor, we should stop talking about your sexcapades.” Todd rolled his eyes.

“What’s even left?” I asked. “I feel like we’ve eaten everything you ordered and then some.”

“I’m glad you asked, Jakey.” Todd belched. “Your generous chef has saved the very best for last. What is no Chinese food meal complete without?”

“Chinese donuts?” I said as a wide grin spread across my face.

“Chinese donuts,” the imp confirmed as he reached into the remaining brown paper bag and pulled out a white lunch sack. “Also known as Chinese Churros or Youtiao or, as I like to call them, crack when you’re stoned off your ass.”

“It’s a true story.” I turned to the succubi. “Todd once got really high during a Chinese New Year party at school and gobbled down twenty of those things. In one sitting.”

Todd tossed us each one of the sticky, sugar-dipped fried donuts.

My stomach seemed to scream as it tried to keep me from eating the fried pastry in my hands. Thankfully, I had never met a donut that I couldn’t eat. I popped the crispy, sugary food into my mouth and savored the sweetness.

The succubi did the same, but I could tell that all three of them had gorged themselves to the point of misery. Libidine walked over to the couch and plopped down with her hand on her stomach. Cupi sat down at the table and hung her head over a half-empty container of lo mein in defeat.

Meanwhile, I noticed that Sia wasn’t moving at all.

“You okay, Superbia?” I asked the redhead.

“I think I’m too stuffed to move,” she responded as she stood as still as possible.

“Really?” Todd hopped down off the table and waddled across the marble floor. “I’m considering ordering a pizza to top it all off. Score one for the Toddster’s steel gullet!”

“Hey, if you want more, be my guest,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I’m sure there’s plenty left on Quinn’s cards. If that’s okay with Sia, of course.”

“I’ll need to spend some time looking over the accounts, but I’m sure another order wouldn’t do any harm.” The madame shrugged. “I don’t know if I could say the same health-wise, but if it tastes half as good as the food we just ate, I’m all for it.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Todd snickered. “I’m gonna go get comfortable first. I saw this sweet pair of robes when I was going through Quinn’s closet.”

“Robes?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Todd Masterson is living the high life!” The imp exclaimed as he ran up the winding staircase.

“Your friend there is quite the character.” Sia placed her hand on the small of my back and laughed. “Was he always like that?”

“An imp? Or just crazy?” I smiled at the redhead.

“Your response tells me everything I need to know,” Superbia said as she looked up at me with her large violet eyes.

“You know, I totally would have let you join us out there in the pool,” I admitted to the woman. “In fact, I actually was kind of hoping you would join us.”

“Oh, I know.” Sia batted her doe eyes at me. “But I’m the succubus of pride. You’re going to have to earn it first.”

“Get a room, you two!” Libidine chuckled from the living room.

“My sister is only half-joking,” Cupi’s voice piped up from her makeshift pillow on the table. “If we want to continue to get stronger and go after the higher-level demon lords, you need to form a connection with as many succubi as you possibly can.”

“Wow, so you’re giving me a free pass to sleep with as many hot demon chicks as I want?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “If only Tamira had been this cool.”

“Dare not speak her name!” Todd’s voice screamed from the air vent above us.

“Who is Tamir--” Sia started.

“I said no sprechen!” The imp’s voice echoed through the vent.

“It was my ex.” I rolled my eyes. “As you can see, Todd hated her even more than I do.”

The redhead comforted me with a pat on the back. “She sounds awful.”

“Oh, she was.” I chuckled. “I’d honestly rather face down Azazel again than spend another minute with her.”

“Maybe she was one of those secret demons-in-hiding here on Earth?” Cupi joked.

“It honestly wouldn’t surprise me,” I laughed.

“Bro, let’s stop talking about your shitty ex and talk some more about this sweet-ass outfit,” Todd said as he walked back into the room.

The imp wore a navy blue robe that was ten times too big for his body. The bottom of the outfit dragged behind him like the train of a wedding dress as he waddled across the floor. A brown leather belt was cinched tight around the imp’s waist that contained two holsters, both of which had an elegantly designed knife hilt jutting out. The dark blue garment was dotted with several dark red splatters.

“Tah-dah,” Todd laughed as he gave a twirl. “What do you think? This is gonna get all the ladies wet, isn’t it?”

“Wet from their own blood when you stab them to death, or…?” I half-joked.

“What are you talking about, bro?” Todd turned his head in puzzlement. “This is just the design. It’s made to look like blood so that people think you’re a badass! It’s like those T-shirts I used to wear all the time with the skulls and motorcycles on them.”

“Jacob,” Sia now had a concerned tone in her voice. “I recognize those robes.”

Todd seemed to not be listening to anyone as he drew the daggers from their sheaths and handed them to me. “And check out these badass knives it comes with!”

I glanced sidelong at Sia as I looked over the weapons. Both of the knives looked like they were made out of pure silver, and they felt heavy in my hand. At the end of each hilt rested an intricately carved design, one of a bull and one of a goat. Both of the carvings had shiny red jewels in the sunken spaces where the beasts’ eyes should normally be.

Most interesting, however, was the dried blood that covered the blades.

“Those are the robes and weapons of Azazel’s followers,” Sia said as terror filled her voice.

“So wait, this is real blood?” Todd’s eyes widened.

“If it is the Cult of Azazel, then I’d bet that blood is from the Ritual of the Virgin Birth,” Cupi added.

“Ritual of the Virgin Birth?” Todd asked. “I’m not sure I understand--”

“Oh, nothing to worry about,” the blonde said with a laugh. “It’s just that ritual where they smear a virgin’s menstrual blood all over themselves.”

“Menstru--- Eeeehaaaa!” Todd screamed in horror as he threw the robe off his body and dashed out the door toward the pool.

Cupi turned to grin at the rest of us the moment the imp was out of earshot. “It’s not really menstrual blood.” And then, unable to help herself, the succubi doubled over in laughter.

“But it is real blood?” I asked Superbia with an arched eyebrow.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Sia continued. “I was never deeply involved with the Cult of Azazel, though I am familiar with a lot of their rituals and such. Most of them involved animals, but the more intense ceremonies included the sacrifice of humans.”

“So that must have been the top-secret project that Blum and Quinn were talking about.” I stroked my chin as I thought. “Something to do with this cult and that fucker Azazel.”

“I’m afraid that’s the extent of my knowledge, Jacob.” Sia sighed. “Azazel liked to drag me to these ass-kissing ceremonies of his quite often, but I could never make rhyme or reason of what was going on.”

“But we do know someone who might be able to,” Liby spoke up.

“That’s right.” I nodded as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. “If anybody can give us some insight into this ‘Cult of Azazel,’ it’d be the archangel, Raphael.”

Chapter 5

“Uhg, Raphael.” Cupiditas rolled her eyes. “He’s such a goodie-two-shoes.”

“He’s a divine Archangel,” I laughed as I dialed the contact number Raphael had given us after our battle with Azazel. “You don’t get much more pure than that.”

“Oh, please.” the blonde waved her hand in front of her face. “I know Raphael, and he’s anything but pure. Yet I’m the one who got kicked out of the Army of the Divine, and he’s the one who was promoted. Same crime, different punishment.”

“If I didn’t know any better, sister, I’d say you’re still bitter,” Libidine chuckled.

Cupiditas lifted her slender hand and ran her fingers through Liby’s dark hair lovingly. “Maybe just a little, but there’s a silver lining to everything. If I hadn’t fallen, I would never have met you or Sia or Jacob.”

“I think I got all the blood cleaned off.” Todd shivered as he returned through the hole where the patio door had been. “I even used those little water jet thingies in the shower to make sure I got into every crack and crevice.”

“Ewww, bro,” I moaned as my phone’s display lit up to show it was making a call.

“What?” The imp snickered. “It’s not like I rubbed my dick on them. Todd Jr. is far too large.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” Sia couldn’t help but giggle.

Todd shrugged. “Sometimes, when you’re baked out of your mind, a hole is a hole.”

“Maybe we should stop talking about dicks and holes before the holy archangel arrives?” I chuckled as I tried to change the subject. “I have a feeling he’s not going to appreciate that type of humor.”

The display on my screen showed that the phone was ringing, but there was still no answer.

“Oh please, Jacob.” Cupiditas rolled her eyes. “I fought alongside with Raphael when I was on the side of the divine. That guy had more affairs with Earth women than you can imagine. He even got a few of them pregnant. It was a massive scandal at the time.”

“No way.” Todd sounded impressed. “Raphael has Nephilim?”

“Nephilim?” I questioned.

“Children of Divine beings,” Sia clarified. “According to the scripture, they were all wiped out by the Great Flood, but nobody really knows what happened to them.”

“I do remember Lucifer once sent his forces after a rumored Nephilim here on Earth, but our intel came up empty.” Liby shrugged. “I honestly don’t think they exist. Even if they do, they’ve been doing a great job of hiding.”

“What would the Devil want with one of those things, anyway?” I asked as I looked down at my phone again.

Still no answer.

“The Nephilim possess great power,” Sia explained. “They are said to draw their abilities from multiple realms, sometimes even at the same time.”

“We demons can only conjure up the magic we’re given from Hell.” Libidine pouted. “But it’s okay, we all enjoy being bad, anyways.”

“If either side of this conflict were to get their hands on a Nephilim, it’d change the entire tide of the war,” the blonde succubus explained with a frown. “A Nephilim at full power could devastate entire armies, level entire cities, or even take on Lucifer himself!”

“Okay, so I get that all the original Nephilims have disappeared.” I was starting to get annoyed that the Archangel hadn’t responded yet. “But why aren’t all the angels and demons just showing up on Earth and producing more?”

Todd giggled. “Now that’s an episode of Maury I wouldn’t want to miss.”

“Because the practice of conceiving a child with a mortal is punishable by death according to the Armistice of A.D.,” Sia interjected. “Although now that Azazel has blatantly broken the Heaven-Hell Accords and reignited the war, anything could be on the table. He’s set a very dangerous precedent.”

“So… could we make some Nephilim of our own?” I raised my eyebrow playfully.

Sia clicked her tongue and shook her head. “We’re succubi, Jacob. We can’t be out there doing our jobs if we’re impregnated. A male Angel or Demon can impregnate a mortal woman quite easily, but it’s much more complicated the other way around.”

“I knew it!” Todd exclaimed. “My boys can swim! The ‘ol Toddster is gonna go sow his oats all over creation.”

“That’s just what we need,” I chuckled. “A bunch of baby Todd’s running around.”

“I dunno though.” The imp tapped his finger to his chin. “Am I rushing into this? Is the Toddster ready to settle down and have a family? So much responsibility…”

“When we are designated as succubi, Lucifer casts a powerful spell over us,” Cupiditas ignored Todd’s comments. “It’s what keeps us from getting pregnant.”

“Makes sense,” Todd interrupted. “I don’t think too many demons would want to sign up to be a Nephilim Nanny.”

“Exact--”

“A Succubi Sitter,” Todd added.

“No, I suppose--”

“A Demon Day-Care?”

“I get it, Todd!” Sia half huffed, half laughed. “Besides, we succubi wouldn’t produce an offspring anywhere close to the power level a high-ranking demon like Azazel would.”

“Can the spell be broken?” I asked the madame. “Is there any way we could make our own army of little Nephilims?”

“Unfortunately, it’s a spell designed by Lucifer himself,” Sia sighed. “It’s a long and complex discussion, but essentially the only way to break the curse would be for you to become as powerful as he is.”

“Never say never.” I shrugged.

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by a blinding white light from the living room of the mansion. I turned around and momentarily shielded my eyes so that my retinas weren’t burned out of my skull. When the light finally died down, I lowered my hand. Before me stood the familiar figure of the Archangel, Raphael.

Just as the first time we had met, he wore a flowing white robe that danced elegantly in the air even as he stood still. Raphael wore his dark hair back in a ponytail, and he now had bits of black stubble growing out of his chiseled face. As he approached, he appeared to float through the air.

“I apologize for the delay, my friends.” The Archangel’s voice was deep and booming, but somehow still calm and soothing. “I just now had a chance to look at my pager.”

“Wait.” Todd's mouth fell agape, and then a wide grin spread across his face. “Did you just say ‘pager?’ Like, the little black box that beeps when somebody calls you?”

“Yes…?” Raphael didn’t understand our amusement. “It’s state-of-the art human technology.”

“If this were 1987!” Todd fell over onto the ground as he started laughing hysterically. “Where did you get it, Radio Shack?”

“Circuit City,” the dark-haired man corrected.

Todd roared with laughter as he held his arms across his belly and rolled back and forth.

“It’s served me well for decades. I’ll continue using it until it breaks.” Raphael shrugged.

Todd stood up and wiped away a tear.

“Can I borrow your phone, Jakey?” he asked and then turned back to Raphael. “Raph, I need to show you this. It’s gonna blow your mind.”

The imp motioned for Raphael to come closer as he used his free hand to grab my phone and tap at the screen.

“You see, this is called a smartphone,” he explained. “You can use them to call or text people instantly, play games, or even explore the World Wide Web! You do know what the internet is, right?”

“I’ve dabbled.” Raphael nodded, unimpressed.

“But you see, my friend,” Todd continued as he tried to suppress a snicker, “the best part about a smartphone like Jakey’s here is the size of the screen. Back in the day, we’d have to be at a stationary computer to do this. But now-- Voila!”

“What the…?” The Archangel’s face turned white, and he ripped his gaze away from the phone.

“Porn on the go!” Todd exclaimed. “You can beat it in bed, beat it on the beach, beat it in the bathroom. The future is now, bro!”

“I am an angel of the most divine order!” Raphael growled as he comically rubbed his eyes. “That sort of material is forbidden to us. Especially that particular act… Wait, the title of this video says these two are step-siblings. Is that true?”

“Probably not,” Todd chuckled, “but different strokes for different folks.”

“This technology is amazing,” the angel said as he blinked at the screen.

“You bet it is.” Todd shrugged and then there was a few seconds of silence as the small imp and muscular angel stared at the screen in silence.

“Guys,” I said. “We have important stuff to talk about.”

“Uhh yeah,” Todd said as he pressed the side button the turn off the screen. “While you all do that, I think I’m gonna go into the other room for a minute.”

“Not with my phone, you’re not!” I protested.

“Oh, of course.” Todd shook his head. “Where are my manners? May I please borrow your phone so I can whack it to some shit that’s illegal in seven states?”

“Uh, no--” I raised my finger to stop him, but the imp was already running toward the stairs.

“Thanks, Jakey! You’re the best!” His voice grew quieter as he ran away.

I sighed. “I really hope Quinn’s credit line is as big as his cowboy hat, because now I need a new phone too.”

“Wait, this is Robert Quinn’s home?” Raphael asked as he glanced around at the furniture.

“It sure is, Raphael,” Cupi spoke up. “Flauros, the mighty tyrant of the Fourth Circle, is dead.”

The Archangel’s eyes lit up with glee. “Excellent work, my friends! We’ve been after Flauros for centuries.”

“We also defeated Anton Blum. Bifrons, as we demons know him,” Sia added.

“Flauros and Bifrons.” Raphael’s face grew cold. “Is there any specific reason that these were the two demons you’ve slain?”

“They were communicating with each other, most likely in regard to this.” I picked up the bloody robe and held it out for the Archangel.

“This is a troubling development.” Raphael shook his head. “Flauros and Bifrons are both members of the Seventy-Two Servants.”

“Seventy-Two Servants?” I asked. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not, Jacob.” Sia sat down on the living room couch and hung her head. “I was afraid this was going to happen once I left Azazel unchecked.”

“What’s wrong, sister?” Libidine sat down next to the youthful succubus and began to rub her strawberry-red hair.

“The Seventy-Two Servants were long before your time, Libidine,” Sia said softly. “Though I’m sure Cupiditas remembers them quite well.”

The athletic blonde nodded grimly. “The name refers to a group of demons who served the kings of the first four circles of Hell- Amaymon, Ziminar, Gaap, and Corson.”

“If you go by their Hebrew names, Corson translates to Azazel,” Sia added.

“Well, that explains why he kept calling himself ‘The King of the Fourth Circle’ during our battle,” I murmured with a nod.

“During the Revolution, or ‘The Fall of Lucifer’ as you mortals call it, those four Demon Kings banded together.” Raphael stared out blankly into the distance. “They recruited a small yet powerful army of seventy-two lesser demons as well as the mortal followers that Azazel had been seducing since the dawn of time. They were nearly unstoppable.”

“But you guys won, right?” I questioned. “Lucifer and his minions were banished from the Pearly Gates and now rule over Hell, and some fuckers decided to go incognito on Earth.”

“In all honesty, we were lucky to have won.” Raphael shook his head. “It was a war of attrition, really. We lost battle after battle, but we had enough warriors and resources that we were eventually able to outlast the enemy.”

“And the Seventy-Two Servants?” I asked. “What happened to them, and why is it such a big deal that they’re communicating again?”

“The Exalted One made sure that the Seventy-Two Servants were disbanded.” Sia frowned. “It was part of the treaty that ended the first phase of the war, and it has stood for millennia without any issues. All the lesser demons were allowed to stay on Earth and reap the rewards of whatever they decided to do with their demon powers, and the four kings returned to their Circles of Hell.”

“Until now.” Raphael punched the wall and let out a scream of rage. “Damn you, Azazel! All you had to do was respect the Accords, and none of this would be happening.”

“Do you think the Seventy-Two Servants are getting back together?” Cupiditas asked the Archangel.

“Thankfully, they cannot as long as Azazel is banished back to Hell,” Raphael murmured. He sighed as he looked over the bloodied robe. “Which brings us back to this. I’ve been monitoring a few sects of the Cult of Azazel since their master’s defeat, and I think they’re planning something. They’ve completely stopped doing their typical harmless chicken sacrifices or late-night chant sessions, but they are still gathering.”

“And now they’re apparently recruiting other members of the Seventy-Two Servants,” Libidine added.

“We need to figure out just what the hell is going on.” I nodded grimly.

“Whew!” Todd wheezed as he walked back within earshot.

The imp was completely out of breath, and there was a small limp in his step as he walked. He waddled over to me, reached out his hand, and slowly slid my cell phone back into my pocket.

“Don’t worry, bro.” He patted the side of my leg. “I only watched for a few moments, and I made sure that my jerkin’ hand never touched your screen or anything.”

“Uh, thanks.” I rolled my eyes and tried not to sound disgusted.

“You might want to delete your search history, though.” Todd reached up and rubbed his eyes with his right hand. “Especially if you’re planning on traveling to Rhode Island. So, what’d I miss?”

“Seriously?” Raphael asked in an annoyed tone.

As much as Todd had missed, it only took us a few minutes to catch him up to speed. Once we had finished telling the imp what was going on, he slapped his hand to his knee happily.

“Well, hot damn!” he said with an eager smile. “Cults, Heaven-Hell Wars, and ancient demons getting the band back together? This was almost better than what I was watching upstairs. Almost.”

“Does anyone have any ideas on how we can infiltrate this Cult? Or where we could even find them?” I asked the group.

“I know there are a couple of sects out on the west coast,” Sia explained. “That’s where Azazel always wanted to take me.”

Raphael shook his head. “The two sects I’ve been spying on are over in New York, but there must be something local if Anton Blum and Robert Quinn were both out here in Phoenix at the same time.”

“Oh, that one’s easy.” Todd giggled. “So, once I realized that Jakey’s phone screen wasn’t going to be big enough to get the job done--”

“Gross!” Cupiditas chuckled playfully.

“I switched over to Quinn’s office computer.” Todd made exaggerated expressions with his arms as he told the story. “Which reminds me, do yourself a favor and don’t go in there. Like, ever again. That shit ain’t coming off the walls anytime soon.”

“Again, ew.” Cupi was more serious this time.

“Anyway, while I was up there slappin’ the ol’ salami, a little calendar notification popped up on the screen.” The imp shrugged. “I just ignored it and kept going, but it did say something about a meeting.”

“Please tell me you remember the rest of the details,” I begged.

“Sorry, bro,” he apologized. “My mind was kinda on other things at that moment. I can go show you if you want.”

“I’d really prefer not to, but I guess if that’s what it’s going to take…” I sighed.

“Tell you what,” Todd picked at his teeth with a claw on his right hand. “How about I go into that warzone of a room and find out the info, and you guys go try on some more of those sweet robes? I found, like, ten more in Quinn’s closet.”

“I vote for that option,” Libidine said with a raised hand.

Todd jumped up on the couch and pointed triumphantly. “Onward, to the porn viewing room!”

The imp giggled and then dashed off toward the main entrance. The succubi and I began to follow Todd, but I halted when I realized that Raphael wasn’t following.

“Aren’t you coming, Raphael?” I asked the Archangel. “I’m sure Todd’s exaggerating about what he did to that room.”

“It’s not that, I assure you.” The dark-haired man chuckled. “Unfortunately, I cannot join in this mission. I am Raphael, the Archangel who defeated Azazel and chained him in a pit of darkness for what was supposed to be all eternity. His followers will know exactly who I am. I’ll do nothing but endanger everyone if I go.”

“Ah, come on,” I implored. “It’s an imp, three succubi, an archangel, and a mortal with demon powers against a group of crazy cultists. We’re gonna wipe the floor with them.”

“A parting word of advice, Jacob Ralston,” Raphael warned. “Don’t underestimate the Cult of Azazel. There is a reason that the Seventy-Two Servants rely on them so heavily.”

Before I could utter another word, the Archangel began to float toward the ceiling. The white fabric of his robe fluttered as if blown by a silent wind, and then his body was engulfed with a vibrant white ball of light as he disappeared.

With a thoughtful frown at his warning, I turned back to the succubi, and we continued on toward our destination.

As we walked up the sprawling marble staircase, I couldn’t help but marvel at their craftsmanship. Each step was just the right size and height to ascend comfortably, and the railing was made out of a heavy black iron that looped around the entirety of the staircase like a cast-iron snake. Our footsteps reverberated off the marble stairs for a few moments longer until the four of us finally reached the top.

“Took you long enough.” Todd stood at one of the doors and tapped his foot. “Ladies and gentlemen, and Jacob, I present to you, Robert Quinn’s love shack!”

The imp pushed the white wooden door open, and I was greeted with a bedroom suite that made our place at the Excalibur look like a two-star hotel.

The floors were made of mahogany and covered at random intervals with white area rugs. A gigantic California King-size canopy bed sat in the middle of the room, with cream-colored curtains that hung over a mattress covered with tannish-brown bedding. The headboard and footboard were both a dark oak that had Spanish-style designs intricately carved into them. A two-doored wardrobe stood across the way, next to an opening that appeared to be the closet.

Todd dashed through the opening, rummaged around for a minute, and then returned with four navy robes.

“Bro, we’re going to look so badass in these fucking things!” The imp snickered as he tossed them onto the bed. “I’ll be right back. James Todd has some hacking to do.”

“It’s not hacking if you’re just looking at his calendar app,” I joked as Todd ran out of the bedroom.

“It is if you play 80s synthesizer music while you do it!” he called out from the hallway, and all I could do was snicker.

“All alone with this giant comfy bed,” Libidine cooed. “Whatever are we going to do?”

“As much as I hate to admit it, we should probably wait until we’re done with this mission before we christen the sheets.” I laughed as I pulled the cotton robe over my head.

“Hopefully it will be all four of us,” Cupiditas purred and looked at Sia.

“We’ll see, Cupiditas,” the redhead said softly as her eyes glimmered. “We’ll see.”

Despite looking cheap and flimsy, the robe was actually really cozy. It hung down just above the soles of my shoes, and the belt that holstered the weapons rested casually on my waistline. Meanwhile, the massive hood hung down behind my head and threatened to pull my entire neck backward.

“These guys must have really muscular necks,” I joked.

“Muscular and veiny.” Cupiditas winked. “Just the way I like it.”

The four of us now stood in the middle of the bedroom, all decked out in our cult robes. I felt ridiculous, but I had to admit it was kinda cool to see us all in matching uniforms.

“I got it!” Todd exclaimed as his voice grew closer, and then the imp appeared in our room. “Just call me Todd Masterson, the Hackerman.”

“What did you find?” I asked my friend as he patted himself on the back.

“There’s a meeting tonight at the southwest edge of Tonto National Forest.” He nodded. “Eight o’clock sharp. It’ll only take an hour or so to get there from where we are, tops.”

“We can still make it there if we hurry,” the blonde succubus said as she observed the alarm clock on the wardrobe.

“Well? What are we waiting for?” I pulled up the hood of my robe. “We’ve got a cult meeting to crash.”

Chapter 6

“Cult members sure have weird fashion choices,” Libidine said with a sigh from the backseat of our Jeep as it barreled down the highway. “There are no colors to make it pop or pretty designs or even a cute little saying to give it character. It’s just dark blue.”

Cupiditas giggled. “Look at you, Liby. You’re on Earth for a month and suddenly a fashion designer.”

“I don’t even like clothing, and I can agree these things are hideous,” Sia added. “I feel like I’m wearing a heavy blanket.”

“I don’t know what you dudettes are talking about,” Todd said through puffs of his blunt. “You guys look like fucking badasses.”

“Says the only person who doesn’t have to wear one.” I laughed.

“I offered!” The imp shook his finger at me. “You’re the one who said that I wouldn’t blend in.”

“I’m sorry if I thought a three-foot-tall demon in a saggy robe would stand out like a sore thumb.” I shrugged. “People would have thought we brought our ill toddler to the sacrificial cult meeting.”

Todd took a hit and pondered that. “On second thought, you’re right. I probably would have been a prime candidate for sacrifice, anyway. Those mere mortals would all be too intimidated by this sexy imp bod.”

“Or they wouldn’t have given two fucks, considering they seem to interact with demons on a daily basis,” I chuckled. “Though that does raise the question, are they familiar with imps? Earl, Azazel, and Gallu all seemed to be disgusted by the fact we had one with us.”

“They were just jelly.” Todd stood up and flexed. “Who wouldn’t be? With muscles like this, a schlong like a T-Rex, and a brain full of paranormal knowledge, I’m everything they’ve ever wanted to be and more!”

“Actually,” Sia piped up, “it was because imps are seen as the lowest of the low on the chain of command, even below mortals.”

“Nah, they’re all just jealous,” Todd reiterated.

“In the Hierarchy of the Divine, imps are like--” the redhead started.

“Nope!” Todd cut her off. “Just jealous.”

I chuckled at their argument. “Either way, we can’t have you going in there in your normal state, especially not when you can just turn invisible.”

“So the guy who originally found the robes and the only one who actually likes them is the only member of the group who doesn't get to wear them?” Todd released a breath of reefer smoke out the window. “That’s some dramatic irony right there.”

“Dude, I wish it could be another way.” I gave him a sympathetic smile. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t wear them around the house later.” I caught sight of the sign for Tonto National Forest. “I think this is the place.”

“High-ho, Shadow, away!” Todd giggled as he stood up and pointed at the sign.

I turned the Jeep off the exit and continued to follow the winding road for a few more miles. As we traveled, it became narrowed until the pavement disappeared entirely, and we were on a tiny dirt road. Up ahead, I saw a small wooden sign that read, “Tonto National Forest Boundary,” but there was nobody else in the area. I rolled Shadow to a stop, and the five of us hopped out onto the warm desert sand.

“Maybe this isn’t the right place?” Liby suggested.

“Do you hear that?” I put my finger up into the air to silence everybody.

“I don’t hear anything,” Cupiditas said as she looked off in the distance.

“Exactly.” I smirked. “Just like the Chapel of the Trinity.”

“A protective hex.” Sia smiled. “Very good, Jacob.”

I turned to Todd. “I know this is probably a stupid question, but do you still have your occult books?”

“Bro, I feel like you don’t even know me,” Todd snickered as he made his way to the back of the Jeep. “Those books are the only valuable possession I own. Wherever I go, they go.”

The imp leapt up onto the rear bumper of the Jeep and tugged at the tailgate release, but it didn’t budge. He let out an annoyed sigh, rubbed his hands together, and then grabbed the release with both of his tiny mitts. Todd jerked both arms to the side, and a mechanical click rang out. Shadow’s tailgate flew open and took the imp with it. Todd’s eyes widened as his tiny body was flung off into the sand.

All the succubi and I could do was laugh at the ridiculous scene right in front of our eyes.

“I totally had that, guys.” Todd chuckled as he stood up and brushed sand off of his red skin. The imp walked back over to the Jeep, jumped back onto the bumper, and began to rummage through the clutter that littered the storage area.

“Let’s see,” he muttered as he dug. “Devil-headed bong… Luchador mask… Half-eaten ham sandwich…”

“We really should not have left Todd in charge of organizing the trunk,” Sia said with a sigh as she put her hand to her face.

“Aha!” the imp’s muffled voice arose from the clutter. “I found Quinn’s cowboy hat!”

The imp pulled his front end out from the mountain of messiness and triumphantly held the white hat up into the air. He tried to push it down on top of his head, but his black horns stopped the head accessory in its tracks. Todd huffed, pushed harder, and then his horn and a half finally punched through the sides of the ten-gallon hat.

“Howdy, partner.” The imp turned back and shot me a pair of finger guns.

“Focus, Mr. Cowboy.” Cupiditas pointed back at the tailgate.

“Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker.” He giggled and then turned around to rummage once more.

“It’s strange,” Libidine commented. “I don’t even see any footprints or tire tracks on the ground.”

“If there’s one thing I know about the Cult of Azazel, it’s that they are very good at covering their tracks,” Sia explained. “They’ve existed since Azazel was first banished to Earth eons ago, and yet their activities have never been discovered by any mortal men.”

“At least, none who have lived to tell the tale.” Cupiditas nodded grimly.

I placed a comforting hand on the blonde succubus’ shoulder. “There’s a first time for everything, remember? We kicked Earl’s ass and banished Azazel and his forces back to Hell. A few dudes in bad Halloween costumes aren’t going to be that much of a problem.”

I felt a small tug on the right side of my robe, and I looked down to see Todd holding one of his books.

“I finally found it, bro,” he sighed. “It was right between my old school Playboys and my cigarette-rolling machine.”

“You have a cigarette-rolling machine?” I questioned as Todd began to leaf through the text.

“It’s for when I go on a binge,” he explained. “I can only roll about a dozen by myself before my hands start getting tired. Now when I’m whacking--”

“Do you have any idea what kind of spell we’re looking for, here?” I changed the subject. “I’m assuming a demon-worshiping cult wouldn’t use Vatican magic like at the Chapel of the Trinity.”

“No,” Sia interjected, “but it would shock me if they had never developed a counter-curse to this sort of hex. We’ve been at peace for centuries, but there have been all sorts of espionage underneath the table.”

“If that’s the case, then why was it such a big deal that Azazel entered the Chapel without a warrant?” I asked, now somewhat confused.

“Because the fool had to go and make an interdimensional scene of the whole thing.” The tiny redhead rolled her eyes. “If you couldn’t tell, Azazel has quite a flair for the dramatic.”

“So he could have entered the church even without the warrant?” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“As long as he didn’t get caught,” Sia explained. “I told him he should have just sent another set of assassins in after the lot of you, but he didn’t listen.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” I chuckled, “but thank you, Azazel.”

“So, the King of the Fourth Circle risked reigniting the war between Heaven and Hell just to prove a point?” Cupiditas asked, and her tone told me that she wasn’t even remotely convinced.

“Cupiditas, Cupiditas.” The madame shook her head back and forth. “You know, for being both one of Heaven’s and Lucifer’s greatest warriors, you sure seem to not understand the inner workings of the demon mind.”

The athletic blonde just crossed her arms at Sia’s words. “My entire life consists of two things, sister, fighting and fucking. If it isn’t related to one of those two, then I don’t really give a shit.”

“Most demons, particularly the male ones, are egotistical to the core,” Sia explained. “I truly believe that Azazel would have cut you a deal before you decided to go and make it personal.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I held out my hands. “Are you telling me it was the dick jokes that set him off? Not the whole ‘murdering his pimp and assassins’ thing?”

“The mind of a demon is a bizarre thing, Jacob.” The redhead looked up at me with her bright smile. “It takes but the simplest thing to set them off into a blind rage... although the girls were certainly telling the truth. Yours is much bigger.”

“Well, at least I can take solace in that.” I laughed.

“Why do ninety percent of our conversations come back to Jacob’s dick?” Todd interrupted. “I’ve got a massive demon schlong too, but you don’t hear me gushing about it. I leave that to the ladies.”

Liby giggled. “Oh, if you’d ever seen it, you’d probably be gushing about it too.”

“No homo, dudette.” Todd wagged his finger back and forth. “No like-o the sausage-o.”

“You really need to work on your Spanish.” I chuckled to the imp. “Have you found anything yet?”

“Ye have little faith, my friend.” Todd nodded. “I found something like five minutes ago, but you guys were too distracted talking about Jakey’s pork and beans.”

“Never call them that.” Cupi made a disgusted face. “Never call them that ever again.”

“Anywho, I found this generic spell for removing a demonic curse,” Todd explained as he pointed to a page in the book. “If those badass, robe-wearing cultists have put a spell on this place, then this should do the trick. Grab my hand, and repeat after me.”

The five of us interlocked arms in a small circle, lowered our heads, and then Todd began the ritual.

“Oh powers of the divine, hear our plea,” he mumbled in Latin. “Remove the curse placed upon this site by your enemies. Light the way in the darkness and show us the path to our destiny.”

The four of us repeated the imp’s words, and we continued to chant until we were saying the incantation in a single, echoing voice.

As we said the words, the world around us sprung back to life. I could hear the sound of a coyote howling off in the distance and the chirping of desert bugs ringing in my ears. Most importantly, I heard the dull hum of distant voices off to my right as they spoke in unison. Finally, we stopped, and I opened my eyes.

Before us, along the side of the dirt road, sat a row of vehicles. I couldn’t see anybody inside of them, so I assumed they must have belonged to the cult members that were off in the forest.

“Well waddya know?” Todd put his hands on his hips. “Cult members drive Priuses, too.”

“I think we know where to find them now.” I nodded at my friends and then pointed to where the chanting was coming from. “Are you ready?”

“James Todd was born ready.” The imp giggled as he turned invisible.

“We’ll follow your lead, Jacob,” Sia added.

“And if things go south, we’ll be ready to send these assholes to Hell to be with their master.” Cupiditas grinned.

“Just remember Raphael's warning,” Liby reminded the group as we began to walk in the direction of the sound. “These men are going to be tougher than they look.”

“If they all look like we do right now, that’s not very tough,” I joked and motioned to the robes on our bodies.

“You have zero sense of fashion, bro,” Todd’s voice sadly said from my left side.

As we continued toward the chanting of the cult, the terrain under our feet became more intense and rocky.

The terrain of Tonto National Forest wasn’t exactly the first thing to come to mind when you hear the word “forest.” A large majority of the place was barren, with the occasional cactus or a cluster of bushes popping up from the landscape like clumps of matted fur on a sick animal. The setting sun illuminated the massive rocky cliffs that stood all around us, their cliffs dotted with wildflowers. Off in the distance, I could see a handful of desert trees that made up the “forest” part of Tonto.

As the sun disappeared behind the horizon, a large fire stuck out like a sore thumb through the treeline.

“Not very subtle, are they?” Cupi whispered.

“Remember,” Liby reminded the blonde. “They still think their hex is shielding them.”

“What is the plan, oh fearless leader?” Todd’s voice asked in the darkness.

“Nothing too complicated, honestly.” I shrugged. “The girls and I will try to blend in and see what we can get out of the other cult members, and you go snoop around to see if you can find anything on your own. In and out with hopefully no blood spilled.”

“What a shame,” Cupiditas said through gritted teeth. “I want to see every single person associated with Azazel burn.”

“Now, Cupiditas,” the madame warned. “Remember what I taught you. Those who know when to walk away--”

“Live to fight another day,” the blonde finished. “Yeah, yeah, I remember.”

“Cupi is the sister with the most anger issues,” Libidine told me with a giggle. “It surprised all of us. Sister Ira was wrath after all.”

“I do not have anger issues!” Cupi growled as she pointed her finger at Liby.

“Shhh!” I hissed at the two girls. “Remember that this is supposed to be a stealth mission.”

“Bro, I’ve seen you play Hitman before,” Todd pointed out. “If this ends up like any one of your ‘stealth’ missions on there, we’re going to have to kill the entire cult and anyone within a ten-mile radius.”

“Quiet, or I’m going to make you dress up as a nurse,” I joked.

“I don’t know Jakey, that might awaken some things in you,” Todd’s voice quipped. “And once that genie is out of the bottle, it ain’t going back in.”

“There are plenty of incubi that we could bring in as part of the group,” Sia offered.

“No homo, remember?” I chuckled and shook my head. “Now can we please, get back to the task at hand?”

“Right,” Todd said from the darkness. “So you guys go in there all incognito, and I’ll run around and peek up the robes of all the women in the cult.”

“That’s not--” I raised my hand.

“Meep meep!” Todd cackled as a cloud of dust kicked up into the air, and the imp’s footprints sprinted toward the fire.

“That little guy is lucky he’s so adorable,” Sia laughed, “or else I’d consider kicking him in the face. I always wanted an imp of my own, but Azazel would never allow it.”

“Of course not.” I shrugged. “He seems like more of a cat person, anyways.”

“He did have quite a few Wampus Cats during our heyday in the war,” Sia pondered. “But Cerebrus is still the only pet Lucifer allows in his dominion.”

“The three-headed dog?” I asked. “That thing’s real?”

“Oh, he’s a big softie once you get to know him.” Sia shrugged. “Give him a femur bone or two, and he’ll be your best friend.”

“How are we going to sneak into there unnoticed?” Libidine asked and brought us back to the task at hand.

“We’ll have to go around the back, wait until this ritual around the fire has stopped, and then try to slip in while the cult members are all spread out.”

The four of us made our way around the line of trees, and the chanting grew louder as we approached the blazing fire. The flames rose at least two stories high and threatened to ignite the walnut trees that formed the canopy above. We were still about fifty feet away from the cult’s position, but I could now faintly feel the intense heat of the fire beating away at my skin.

This must have been quite the ritual.

I couldn’t make out exactly what the cult members were saying, but every now and again, I recognized a “devil” or “blood” come from their muttering. I guess four years’ worth of public university Latin courses were finally paying off.

“What are they saying?” I whispered to the succubi. “My Latin’s a little rusty.”

“They’re reciting the ancient Scapegoat Rite,” Sia explained. “It’s the ritual that sacrifices two goats, one to the Exalted One and another to Azazel. The ancient Hebrews used it as a way to wash away their sins, but Azazel’s followers see it as a way to make their master stronger.”

As if right on cue, one of the cult members slowly walked in front of the roaring flames with two goats in tow. He swiftly unsheathed the goat-headed dagger from his belt and then held it above his head. The man’s action was met with a roar of excitement from the crowd, and he stood there for another moment, soaking in their adulation.

The cult member then reached down, grabbed one of the goats by the horn, and lowered the knife to its throat. He pulled the blade across the animal’s jugular, and what looked like a geyser of blood sprayed out of its neck as it screamed in pain and struggled to escape the man’s grasp. After a few seconds of writhing, the goat collapsed to the ground, dead as a doornail.

The crowd roared again, and the man in front of the flames waved his bloodied hand to silence them.

“We have given this beast to the Exalted One, the enemy of our master.” the cult member boomed. “But what good, may I ask you, is a slaughtered goat?”

The crowd hissed and booed at the man’s words.

“Let this so-called ‘Lord’ have his dead animals,” he continued. “For the War of the Divine has been reignited at our master’s behest, and metaphysical entities have begun to pick their sides. I must ask you, my brothers and sisters, whose side are you on?”

“Lucifer!” they called back in unison.

“Who do we serve?” The pitch of the man’s voice was now growing more and more shrill.

“Azazel, the King of the Fourth Circle!” the voices of the cult members roared in unison.

“Then give up to him this beast of burden!” the man shrieked. “Let this beast inherit your sins, and he shall bring our master strength!”

Every member of the cult reached out their hands toward the remaining goat as they began to mumble. They each must have been saying different things this time because their words mixed together into an incomprehensible drone. After a few minutes, they all lowered their hands in what looked like a single motion, and the whispers stopped.

The man at the center of attention placed his dagger back into his holster, reached down, and placed his left hand on the horn of the small goat. Using his free hand, he untied the animal and began to shoo him away. The goat fearfully dashed off into the Arizona wilderness.

“What the fuck did I just witness?” I whispered to Cupi.

“The first goat was killed and sent to God,” the succubus explained. “The group imposed their sins on the second and then sent him off into the wild for Azazel to snatch away in the night.”

“They think that their sins will feed into their master’s Hellfire powers,” Sia added.

“A lot of good that’ll do now,” I said with a chuckle. “That fucker isn’t coming back from Hell any time soon.”

“No,” Sia whispered, “but I’m sure they think their sacrifice will help him continue to grow stronger while he is banished.”

“Which makes me worried that we haven’t seen the last of that big red asshole,” Cupiditas said through gritted teeth.

“They’re starting to disperse.” I motioned with my head over to the fire.

The cult members had begun to wander off in a few different directions. Some headed back in the direction of their cars, but the majority of the group sauntered over to a small clearing.

This was our chance.

The four of us snuck over beside the roaring fire and then meandered our way over to the crowd. Maybe it was just the fact that we were all wearing the exact same outfit, but none of the cult members noticed us newbies in their midsts. Instead, they were all focused on socializing with their other brethren.

Almost every member of the cult now had a drink in their hand whether it be a glass of wine or a can of cheap grocery store beer. The entire atmosphere of the event had completely changed from intense and serious to joyful and almost party-like.

“Excuse me, you four,” I heard a woman’s voice from behind.

“Be ready to attack,” I mumbled to the succubi as I started to think about things that would ignite my Hellfire.

I turned around and was face-to-face with a serious-looking brunette in a cultist robe. The woman’s sharp eyes squinted back at me above her button nose and sharp features, and she wore an angry frown on her razor-thin lips.

“Where are your drinks?” Her blue eyes lit up as a sly grin slid across her face. “Everybody knows that you need alcohol for this part of the ceremony!”

“Uh, is beer okay with everyone?” I looked at the three girls, who all responded with a quick nod. “Four beers would be awesome, please.”

“Coming right up!” The brunette cult member smiled and then rushed off to grab us some drinks.

“That was close,” I sighed, “too fucking close.”

“Why do we need alcohol?” Libidine pondered.

“Wait…” My eyes widened with horror. “Is this a Jonestown sort of thing? Like, are all the drinks laced with arsenic?”

“I wouldn't think so,” Sia whispered. “What good is it to have a cult following you if all of your followers are dead?”

“Four beers for my brother and sisters,” the brunette woman said as she approached with four open cans of light beer. “Just remember not to drink them until the toast.”

This shit was definitely poisoned.

“Thank you, sister,” I thanked the woman as I grabbed the can from her outstretched hand.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, brother…?” she started.

“Pearson,” I said without missing a beat. “Brother Blum is the one who sent me here.”

“You’ve spoken with Bifrons in the flesh?” The brunette’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Is he everything we’ve ever hoped for?”

“He’s one of the Seventy-Two Servants,” Cupiditas butted in. “You tell me.”

“Are you…?” the woman squinted as she stared into the blonde’s eyes. “You are! It’s always an honor to have a demon in our presence.”

“I am Empusa, the devourer of travelers,” the blonde didn’t miss a beat in her response. “And let me introduce my friends, Batibat and Lamashtu.”

“You have no idea how much it means to have you here with us tonight, sisters,” the brunette said happily. “Tonight is the first step towards the ultimate victory over the Army of the Divine.”

“You might have to fill Brother Pearson in,” Libidine piped up. “Bifrons didn’t give him much information about this gathering. He is fresh meat after all.”

“Very fresh meat,” the brunette purred as she looked me up and down. “We’re gathered here tonight to lend our strength to our master. He’s going to need every bit for his resurrection.”

The woman’s words nearly made me drop my beer.

“Resurrection?” I asked. “I thought Azazel was banished from Earth Realm?”

“You certainly know a lot about our master for a newbie…” The brunette’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Word travels fast when it comes to the occult.” I shrugged. “Plus, these lovely ladies filled me in on the ride over.”

“Just be patient, brother,” she reassured me. “Once our guests of honor arrive, all will be revealed.”

“Guests of honor?” Cupi questioned.

“Bifrons and Flauros, of course,” the cultist retorted in disgust. “I would have figured you of all people would know that.”

“Pssssssst!” the not-so-subtle voice of Todd came from a cluster of bushes on my left.

The brunette cultist looked around in confusion.

“Brrrroooooo!” the imp’s voice loudly whispered again.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I held up my finger to make a point. “I have to go drain the snake if you get my drift.”

I sauntered over to the bushes, looked around to make sure nobody was watching, and then pretended to hoist up my robe to relieve myself.

“No golden showers, bro,” Todd’s voice giggled.

“Very funny.” I fake laughed. “Have you found out anything?”

“Of course I have,” the imp’s voice said from the bushes. “I’m James Todd, remember?”

“We found out that these fuckers are going to try to resurrect Azazel,” I grumbled to my friend.

“Well, I overheard a couple of these guys talking about how every sect of the cult is on red alert,” Todd explained. “They’re all talking about finding some sort of ‘chosen one’ for their boss.”

“I’m sure whoever they’re talking about is the key to resurrecting that asshole.” I shook my head in disgust. “Now we just need to find out who they are, and what these people intend to do with them.”

“Don’t worry, Jakey.” The imp’s invisible hand patted my leg. “The Toddster’s on the case. Now get back over there with your sexy women. They probably think that you’re releasing Niagra Falls over here.”

“Good work, Todd.” I smiled at the bushes, dropped the base of my robe, and returned to the group.

“... and that’s why I swore to never date Balam again!” Libidine was finishing some sort of story as I approached. All four of the women were roaring with laughter at the succubus’ anecdote.

“Sorry about that,” I said as I rejoined the group. “I must have drunk way more than I thought this morning!”

“Batibat here was just telling us about her encounters with the other members of the Seventy-Two Servants.” The brunette cultist chuckled. “Who knew they were such a lively bunch?”

“I can’t wait to meet them,” I lied.

“Neither can I!” the woman said with a smile. “Speaking of which, where are the guests of honor? They should have been here by now.”

“May I have everyone’s attention, please?” the man from the sacrifice called out as he stood on a tree stump.

The entire cult fell silent instantly.

“Unfortunately, none of our brothers and sisters have heard from Bifrons or Flauros in the last twenty-four hours.” The man hung his head somberly. “I think they may have backed out of our arrangement. But no matter! There are still seventy more servants to assemble, and we are going to strengthen our connections with or without demons present!”

The man raised his cup of wine into the air.

“For tonight, we celebrate as we grow stronger and lend our strength to our master Azazel!” he continued. “Now, brothers and sisters, we toast.”

I looked over at Cupi, Sia, and Liby. They all looked concerned about the contents of their drinks, but I nodded to assure them that I had a plan.

I raised my beer can into the air to match the rest of the cult members.

“To Azazel and the end of the Divine!” the man smiled, lowered his cup, and gulped down the entire glass of wine.

The succubi and I followed the actions of the leader and lowered our cans to our lips.

I only had a split second to act. I reached down into my feelings and thought about how fucked up this entire situation was. How, if I wasn’t successful, the loves of my life were going to die.

And it would be my fault.

I summoned a small bit of emerald Hellfire directly underneath the openings of the beer cans, and the liquid disappeared into the air before it could touch any of our mouths. Instead, I sent it harmlessly into the bushes Todd had been standing in earlier.

Once all the liquid was gone, I lowered my empty can and cautiously waited to see what would happen next. I was almost certain that this was some sort of mass sacrifice or something.

The cult leader wiped the wine off his lips and smiled.

“Brothers and sisters,” he said as he held out his arms above his head. “Now that we have a little alcohol in our systems, the connection can commence!”

“Wait, connection?” I asked aloud.

“It’s a giant orgy, brother.” the brunette woman chuckled and then nudged the closest cult member to her left. “Newbies, huh?”

“Ah, yes, I remember when I was---” The man started to reminisce, but then his dark eyes froze when they met mine. “Jacob Ralston!”

Oh shit.

“It’s him!” the cultist screamed to the rest of his brethren. “The man who banished Azazel!”

The wilderness fell eerily silent, and the tension that rose in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. The sound of the crackling fire was joined by a series of hisses and growls from every direction around us.

From my peripheral vision, I could see flames of every color spring to life. Now, we were surrounded by an entire group of spellcasters, and they were all out for my blood.

Maybe this was going to be harder than I initially thought.

Chapter 7

“Brothers, sisters! Kill them all!” The leader of the cult pointed his enchanted daggers at the five of us, and the rest of the group began to swarm as they charged in our direction.

“I was really hoping it wasn’t going to come to this.” I shook my head, and the familiar dull thumping echo in my temples confirmed that my blue horns had sprouted.

“I was,” Cupiditas said with a snicker from my right side. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a good fight.”

“You’re sadistic, sister,” Liby cooed.

“Incoming!” I warned my friends as I threw up a purple barrier.

A slew of red fire smashed into the violet wall like raindrops on a windshield. With my free hand, I unleashed my own blast of red fire into the crowd of cultists. A couple of flashes of defensive purple rose from the spellcasters, but screams of pain rang out and confirmed that I’d hit some of my targets.

“Todd, Sia,” I commanded, “you guys take the people on the left. Cupi and Liby, you get the right.”

“What about you, Jacob?” the tiny redhead asked.

I locked eyes with the cult leader. “I’m gonna take care of this fucker.”

As he approached, the leader’s eyes grew wilder by the second. He was now about ten feet from me, and he slashed one of his daggers through the air. The motion produced a tiny sliver of red Hellfire that shot through the air directly at me.

I quickly threw up a protective shield in front of my position, and the sliver of an attack bounced off harmlessly as the leader closed the gap between us and lashed out with his second weapon. Then I narrowly dodged his flaming dagger, summoned red fire into my fist, and punched him in the face.

The man stumbled backward and screamed as the flesh on his cheek was burnt to a crisp. My flaming punch wasn’t strong enough to kill him out right, but I could now see the man’s jawbone and teeth through the hole where his skin used to be.

Before he could reorient himself, I hurled a basketball-sized ball of red fire at the fucker.

He barely managed to summon his violet barrier, but the impact from the red Hellfire still sent the man tumbling back through the rocks and sand. As the cult leader stood up, he threw his dagger into the sky. It became engulfed with a green flame, and it disappeared into the crisp air. At the same time, he unleashed a torrent of gray fire at the ground beneath me.

Though at first I thought he’d just missed, the sudden churning of the earth as it dissolved into a miniature sinkhole told me otherwise. I threw down a purple wall under my feet for steady ground and leaped clear before the sinkhole swallowed it. Just in time too as my opponent’s dagger flew past the spot where my chest had just been.

It was time to give this asshole a taste of his own medicine. I reached out and used my jade fire to move the projectile through time and space. In a panic, the cult leader surrounded himself with purple fire as he awaited the return of his dagger, but it never came. Instead, the flaming goat-head dagger appeared in my right hand as I charged.

The cultist must have decided that the best defense is a good offense since he dropped his shield to summon up green flames. A handful of small boulders rose up at his command, and he pushed both of his arms forward. The deadly projectiles flew in my direction as I rushed forward.

As the boulders drew near, I made quick work of them with a mix of red Hellfire and my newfound enchanted dagger, reducing them to little more than useless pebbles. The remaining rocks I bounced away with a flick of purple flames. Behind me, I heard a couple thuds followed by screams of pain.

“Killing your own brethren?” I mocked. “What kind of cult leader are you?”

“Fuck off, Ralston!” he screamed as he unleashed a beam of red flames.

Without thinking, I tossed up a wall of purple fire to protect myself from the attack. The red Hellfire struck the barrier and ricocheted off into the sky at an angle. Though the clash of energies slowed my momentum, I was still advancing on the cult leader. Before I knew it, I was right on top of him. Then I stretched out my hand, I shoved his own Hellfire at him.

The leader let out a howl of pain and stopped his attack, but it was too late. His entire body was now on fire, and there was nothing he could do about it. The fucker ran around like a chicken with its head cut off as the smell of burning flesh filled the desert air. Finally, his charred remains collapsed to the ground in a stinking heap.

I let out a sigh of relief and then turned around to see how my friends were doing.

Judging by the scene in front of me, I’d say they were doing pretty good.

Cupiditas was laughing maniacally as she fought off several cult members. The blonde succubus hit several of her enemies with a freezing spell just as Liby did a strafing run with her yellow daggers. A good dozen of the cult members screamed as their bodies were pierced by the projectiles and crimson blood splattered onto the sand.

I looked over at the other side of the battlefield to see Todd piggybacking on Sia. The madame wore a completely stern look on her face while she flung cultists into the air with her black magic, but the imp on her shoulders giggled hysterically as he air-combo-incinerated the assholes with his Hellfire.

Before I could move to help out my team, a wave of yellow daggers came flying at me from my left. Thankfully, I was able to get my shield up in time, and the projectiles stabbed into the violet barrier instead of my skull. Then the brunette cultist from before stepped out from behind the roaring ceremonial fire and pointed at me.

“And to think I was going to let you fuck me.” She shook her head as she cast another wave of magical daggers at me. “Bareback and everything.”

I flicked the attack away with a wave of my purple, fiery hands. “We can still arrange that, you know,” I joked, “but that’s gonna be really hard to do if you keep trying to skewer me.”

“You’re a liar and an enemy of Azazel!” she screamed as she unleashed red Hellfire in my direction.

I rolled out of the way of the brunette’s attack and fired off a sliver of red from the enchanted dagger.

The woman froze the attack in midair with a blue flame, then pushed the time-stop spell onward toward me.

“So I take that as a ‘no?’” I asked as I cut off her freezing spell with a barrier of purple.

“Please,” the brunette woman laughed. “You wouldn’t be big enough to satisfy me anyways. I’ve had sex with an incarnation of Azazel himself, and he was massive.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Libidine’s voice called out from above, and the cultist was forced to dodge a handful of yellow spears.

The three succubi landed at my side and readied their attacks.

“I didn’t believe it at first, either.” Sia shrugged. “But like they say, seeing--”

Without any warning, I felt the fabric of my robe open, and my pants fell down to my ankles.

“--is believing,” Sia snickered.

The brunette cultist let out a gasp, and then her eyes widened in disbelief. Then a sly smile slid up her face as she decast the magic from her hands.

“Well, well, well.” She shook her head back and forth. “What have we got here?”

“Told you,” Cupiditas retorted. “Jacob’s hung like a horse. Much bigger than Azazel could ever hope to be.”

“Hung like a horse?” The cultist pulled down the hood of her robe and licked her lips. “He’s hung like a fucking whale!”

“What can I say?” I shrugged. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

“Sometimes multiple times a day,” Libidine added.

“Multiple times in a single day?” The cultist couldn’t believe her ears. “My master could barely last a full minute.”

“One romp with Jacob, and you’ll be calling him your master.” Cupiditas winked. “That’s what happened to Liby and me.”

“Do you want us to give you some privacy?” Sia asked. “Maybe take him for a test run? Or two. Or three.”

“I can assure you,” Libidine giggled, “it’ll be worth your while.”

“Hey guys, I think all the cult dudes are dead--” Todd came around the fire and froze in his tracks.

We locked eyes with each other, my pants still around my ankles.

The imp’s face contorted into a mixture of awkwardness and horror. Todd quickly turned around, threw up his hands in the air, and started to walk away.

“I’m gonna need years of therapy now,” he said as he wandered off into the night. “And I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look an elephant in the eyes ever again without feeling dirty.”

“I think Todd has the right idea,” Cupi said to her sisters and then addressed the brunette woman. “We’ll leave you two alone for a while. Would a half-hour work?”

“A half-hour?” The cultist seemed confused. “What are we going to do with a whole half-hour?”

“You’ll find out,” Libidine cooed. “If you’re still out for his blood after that, we can continue this fight from where we left off. Deal?”

“I get to ride that for thirty whole minutes?” the brunette gasped.

“I think that’s a ‘yes,’ sisters,” Sia laughed. “Let’s go find Todd and leave these two alone for a while.”

The three succubi giggled as they dashed off into the treeline to find the imp.

“So, I--” I began, but the brunette woman was already on me.

Our tongues mingled in each other’s mouths as she reached down and gently stroked at my exposed cock.

Instantly, I became hard as a rock, and the woman gasped when she felt me become erect in her hand.

I started to run my hands down the brunette’s sides, and I realized just how much this robe was hiding. As I moved to undo the belt on her garment, my hands passed over her narrow waist and her voluptuous hips. Finally, I unfastened the leather strap and tossed the woman’s navy robe back over her shoulders.

When I pulled my head back to admire her body, my eyes were met with the sight of two large breasts with erect, brownish-red nipples. The woman’s breasts looked like they were too much for her thin torso, which tapered off into an hourglass figure at her waist before regaining its thickness with her hips.

This woman gave Libidine’s body a run for its money, and that was no small feat.

“Like what you see?” she giggled as she started to stroke harder.

“I’ll let you know in a minute.” I pushed the woman’s hand away from my dick, grabbed her around her waist, and then lifted her up into the air.

The brunette was incredibly wet, but she was too tight around my girth, and it took us a few back-and-forth attempts to slide the lips of her pussy completely down and around the full length of my throbbing cock.

Both of us let out a moan of pleasure at the sensation, and then I pulled her in closer so that we could continue to explore each other’s’ mouths.

I pounded in and out of the brunette woman until her moans grew louder until they finally crescendoed into a scream of pleasure.

“Aren’t… you… getting tired?” she asked smugly in between groans.

“I could keep going for hours.” I smirked as I slowed the intensity of my thrusts.

The woman responded favorably, and her eyes rolled back in her head as I began to pull her up and then ease her back down. I continued on like this for a few minutes, with each pump creating a different sound of pleasure.

“You are so big… I think I’m gonna--” the brunette gasped, and then I felt her pussy quiver around my cock as she orgasmed.

She sighed and blew a piece of her long hair out of her face.

“Oh my God,” she panted. “That was incredible.”

The woman stuck out her hand and used her emerald fire to knock me off my feet.

I feel backwards onto the sandy ground, but the brunette cultist didn’t move a muscle.

“Now it’s your turn.” She smiled as she began to move her hips back and forth with my dick still inside of her.

After she had teased me for a bit, she went back to standard cowgirl. Her massive breasts bounced up and down as she rode my cock, and it took everything in my power to keep from exploding each time I felt her tight ass come down on my balls.

I let out a loud moan of pleasure as I started to feel myself headed toward a climax.

The woman must have known that I was on the verge, because she hoisted herself off my dick, bent down, and shoved my dick into her mouth all the way back into her throat.

I moaned intensely as I filled the brunette’s mouth with my cum, but she didn’t seem to be phased in the least.

The brunette sat up, looked me directly in the eyes, and then swallowed.

I laid back onto my robe that now acted as a makeshift blanket, and then the woman laid down on my chest.

“So?” I asked as I ran my hands through her long beautiful hair. “Do you still want to kill me and send me to meet your master?”

The brunette looked up at me with her wild blue eyes. “Fuck no. You’re the only one I ever want to call master ever again.”

“You know, I don’t ever think I got your name,” I laughed.

“It’s Jane,” the woman said as she looked up at me with her blue eyes. “And don’t you dare forget it.”

“Oh, I won’t.” I smiled as I looked up into the night sky.

We laid on the cold ground for a few minutes longer, but then a rustling from off in the distance brought me back to reality.

The two of us stood up and tossed our clothes back on just as the succubi and Todd came back into our line of sight.

“So?” Libidine asked Jane. “What did you think?”

“I don’t see how you guys aren’t jumping him twenty-four seven,” Jane joked with a huff.

“If that was an option, we totally would.” Cupiditas laughed.

“Cool.” Todd tapped his foot impatiently. “So Jakey’s got himself a new fuckbuddy. What about this ritual you all keep talking about?”

“Oh, of course,” Jane chuckled as she readjusted the belt on her waist. “We are but one of several sects of the Cult of Azazel. Our main sect is out in San Francisco, where the ritual is set to take place.”

“What is the end goal of this ritual?” Sia asked cautiously. “Is this where you create the Nephilim?”

Jane nodded grimly. “This is where Azazel’s seed will be spread, and the power from his offspring will give him renewed life.”

“About that,” Todd asked. “Do these guys just have, like, a jar of Azazel jizz just sitting around?”

“No, they--” the brunette began.

“They don’t use a turkey baster, do they?” The imp gagged.

“Of course not,” Jane laughed.

“Super Soaker?” he groaned. “Those things have a lot of velocity to them. Someone could lose an eye.”

“No!” the burnette huffed “The ritual gives my former master enough strength to possess one of our male members, their physiology shifts a bit to take his spirit, and then they are the one who does the deed.”

“So the plan is to artificially inseminate some poor woman with Azazel’s seed?” I asked as disgust filled my voice. “And then what?”

“Then they’ll have a Nephilim on their side.” Cupiditas’ voice trembled at the thought. “And Azazel will return from his banishment to the pit of fire.”

“That would all but ensure the Divine’s defeat,” Sia confirmed.

“Who will the cultists be going after?” I asked Jane.

“A woman, pure of heart and a virgin,” she explained. “The sect out in the Bay area has already made plans for the ritual.”

“Then we need to get them before they can perform this ritual,” I said with a serious look, “if that’s even possible.”

“I would guess you have a little while before they find someone who fits those qualifications,” Jane said. “It is the Bay area, after all.”

“Would you be willing to tell us?” Sia asked the brunette. “They already know you are one of them. If you were to return to the cult and act as if nothing happened and you had escaped our wrath--”
“Then you could feed us information from the inside!” I exclaimed.

“I’d do anything for you, Jacob,” the woman cooed, and I felt my heart beat in my chest at least ten times faster than normal.

“So, what’s our next move?” Cupi asked excitedly.

“For starters, we can’t let them resurrect that asshole.” I clasped my fist into my palm. “Jane is going to go back and infiltrate her old cult, and in the meantime, we need to get out to San Francisco to stop these fuckers.”

“Then that means another road trip!” Libidine bounced up and down with excitement, turned, and then dashed off down the path back toward the vehicles. “What are we waiting for? Let’s gooo!”

“Looks like the gang’s hitting the road once again.” I chuckled and then turned to Jane. “Can I have your number? I’m going to need it for, uh, spy stuff.”

“Jakey and Janey sittin’ in a tree, f-u-c-k-i-n-g,” Todd mocked.

I rolled my eyes at the imp’s words as I took down the brunette’s cell phone number into my own device.

“You have no idea how much this means to us,” I told her. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“I just took a pounding from a whale cock.” She winked as she turned to walk away. “I think I can handle a few magicians.”

As the brunette made her way down the path in the opposite direction of our vehicles, I couldn’t help but run my eyes up and down her body. It was currently covered by her navy blue robes, but now that I knew what lurked underneath, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Todd, the succubi, and I started off after Libidine back out through the wilderness of Tonto National Forest.

We needed to get to San Francisco, and we needed to get there as soon as possible.

Chapter 8

“So, I have a question for you succubi dudettes,” Todd asked from the passenger seat of Shadow. “What happens if the Nephilim comes out as some super-hot chick and totally wants my massive schlong?”

“I don’t think it works that way, Todd.” Cupiditas chuckled. “The Nephilim will come out as a child, like any mortal baby.”

“Then why are we driving halfway across the country to stop its birth?” the imp questioned. “Shouldn’t that give us, like, eighteen years to prepare for that demon dude or dudette’s return?”

“The cultists will be able to feed off its magic the second it’s born,” Cupiditas explained. “The raw power of a Nephilim with Azazel’s DNA is all they will need to bring the King of the Fourth Circle back to our Realm.”

“And reunite the Seventy-Two Servants,” Liby finished.

“Seventy,” I reminded everyone. “We killed two of them already, and they were both pushovers.”

“They were both isolated, alone, and taken by surprise,” the blonde said from the backseat. “We won’t be so lucky if they’re all brought back together.”

“That’s why we need to continue growing our number of allies.” Sia nodded. “You heard what the cultists said. All the supernatural entities in the universe are starting to pick a side in the battle between good and evil. During the Revolution, the majority allied themselves with Lucifer.”

“It’s why you see so many of them here on Earth Realm,” Libidine spoke up. “They were banished to this Realm after the Divine claimed victory.”

“Very good, Libidine.” Superbia sounded impressed. “You did pay attention to all of those history lessons I gave you.”

“I was always your number one student!” The dark-haired woman smiled.

“A-teacher’s-pet!” Todd said as he tried to mask it with a cough.

“I wouldn’t be lecturing people on grades, Todd.” I looked over at the imp and chuckled. “We went to school together, remember?”

“Vaguely.” Todd shook his head and laughed. “My high school and college years are pretty much a blur at this point, bro.”

“Exactly,” I said with a grin and then looked back at the redhead in the rearview mirror. “So, Sia, how do we go about making more allies? Don’t we already have the entire Army of the Divine on our side?”

“That may not be enough, unfortunately.” Superbia shook her head. “Many of the supernatural entities in question are still bitter about their banishment, and rightfully so. It’s going to be hard enough to recruit them for our cause, but it will become impossible if this Nephilim is allowed to be born.”

“Then we’ll just have to make sure this Nephilim doesn’t get born, won’t we?” I retorted.

We were on the road headed in the direction of San Francisco, and we’d crossed over into the Golden State about two hours into the trip.

Honestly, the southernmost tip of California didn’t look that much different from the rest of the Southwestern United States. We were still surrounded by large swaths of desert filled in with tiny patches of bushes, cacti, and rocky hills. The beaches and palm trees were still quite a ways ahead of us.

I glanced up at the women sitting in the back seat, and I couldn’t help but marvel at their beauty. We had all changed out of our robes the second we got back to the car, and each of the succubi was now wearing their outfit of choice.

Libidine was by far the most into Earth fashion. Even though she seemed to love dresses, she opted for something more casual this time around. The dark-haired succubus wore a green and white floral bandana on her forehead that pushed her long, black locks back behind her body. On her torso was a tight-fitting white crop top that exposed her navel and nearly allowed her perky nipples to poke out through the fabric. The succubus apparently was in love with the daisy duke shorts I had bought her back in Colorado because she refused to wear any other type of pants.

One look at Cupiditas’ clothes assured me that she was going to fit right in on the Bay. The blonde was wearing what you’d call “basic white girl” clothes, for lack of a better term. Cupi liked to keep it simple, so she had on black leggings and a cream-colored long sleeve shirt. The fit succubus currently let her short blonde hair hang down into a bob, signaling that she was in “casual” mode.

All that was missing were the furry boots and the latte.

Sia’s fashion choices, on the other hand, were nothing fancy. The redhead was wearing a bright red, lacy tube top that wasn’t quite big enough to cover the bottom curve of of breasts. She also wore a tight black miniskirt, and the lack of side seams made me think she hadn’t bothered to wear any type of underwear.

Apparently, she wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to be as close to naked as possible.

“Bro, I know you’re all hot and bothered by the succubi back there,” Todd snickered and brought me back to reality, “but please pay attention to the road. I don’t want to be splattered all over the interstate, ya know?”

“Ah.” I waved my hand at his words. “Sia would just fix you up.”

“I don’t know if Todd would accept it.” The redhead scoffed. “I’ve offered to fix his broken horn countless times.”

“Why would I want you to do that?” The imp implored. “It makes me look all badass and battle-scarred. Chicks dig scars.”

We continued driving through Southern California for about an hour toward Los Angeles, but as the Jeep approached one of the exits, I turned on my blinker.

It may have been a straight shot from LA to San Fran on here, but it was also the middle of the afternoon, and that meant LA rush hour traffic.

That was a thought scarier than any demon I’d ever encountered, so I pulled off onto the exit, and we headed back out into the California desert.

We were all still exhausted from the night before. Todd snored loudly beside me, his stolen white cowboy hat covering his face. Meanwhile, I could see all three of the succubi were cuddled up in the back seat with their eyes closed.

As we passed over a small bridge on the highway, I glanced over at the river flowing beneath us. The water only stretched about fifty feet across the desert landscape and flowed toward a large, rocky formation off in the distance.

“Hey, Todd.” I nudged the imp to wake him up.

“I swear, officer, I’m not high,” he mumbled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Todd, did you remember to pack that camping equipment like I asked you to?” I questioned.

“Of course I did, bro.” Todd snickered and flicked his cowboy hat up. “I even packed up a bunch of phone books for me to sleep on just like last time.”

“But you did bring the actual equipment, right?” I asked skeptically.

“They’re back there somewhere.” The imp shrugged. “Why do you ask?”

“Todd, how would you like to test out Shadow’s off-roading abilities?” I said as a smile slid up my face.

“I dunno, Jakey…” Todd pondered. “Aren’t you afraid there could be crazy demonic shit out there looking for us?”

“How would they find us?” I asked playfully. “I don’t even know where the fuck we are.”

“Yeah, but--” the imp protested.

“Are you pussying out on me right now?” I laughed.

“Well, you are what you eat,” Todd shot back.

“Todd, I’m not going to let anything happen to you guys.” I rolled my eyes. “It’ll be fun, I promise. Aren’t you the one that’s always telling me to loosen up?”

“Ain’t that the truth?” Todd crossed his arms and chuckled. “I guess I shouldn’t be looking a gift horse in the mouth. Let’s do it.”

“Thank you,” I yawned. “The driver gets tired too, you know.”

Todd laughed. “Hey, I offered to take the wheel.”

“You can’t reach the pedals,” I snorted. “I’d be doing half the work anyways.”

“Nickel for every time I heard that one,” Todd cackled.

As I chuckled along with him, I turned the wheel to the right, and Shadow lurched off the pavement and onto the sandy ground. The shocks on this thing must have been in pretty good shape because our ride remained as smooth as possible. As we drove away from the road and toward the rocky formation, the terrain became more and more treacherous. Small pebbles grew into boulders, bushes became briars, and we were now headed uphill.

The entire cabin of the Jeep started to jolt back and forth with each new bump, and the girls stirred in the backseat.

“What’s going on?” Libidine asked as she grabbed the side of the jeep. “Are we under attack?”

“Nope,” I said. “Just doing a bit of offroading!”

“Offroading?” Sia asked in confusion.

“We’re going on a little camping trip,” I explained. “I think we’ve earned a bit of fun after all the shit we went through last night.”

“I hope it’s as eventful as our last camping trip.” Cupi chuckled. “Right, Liby?”

“Ohhh yes,” the dark-haired woman’s voice responded. “Only this time I hope Superbia will be in on the action, as well.”

“Guys, I’m already getting motion sickness,” Todd said as he shook back and forth from the bumps. “Don’t push me over the edge.”

“If I’m remembering my geography correctly, then the Mojave should run right through that rock,” I said as the formation grew closer. “We’ll have our own private ravine to camp, swim, smoke, fuck, and do whatever the hell else we could possibly want to do!”

Libidine couldn’t contain her excitement. “What fun!”

“It does sound charming,” Superbia added cautiously.

We drove for another fifteen minutes until we were finally upon the formation. The calm rapids of the Mojave River ran directly into the rock, and I was sure that it formed some sort of a ravine or a cave where we could take shelter. Shadow rolled to a halt, and I killed the ignition.

I was the first one out of the vehicle, and I walked over to the back door of the Jeep.

“Your five-star hotel awaits, ladies.” I bowed as I pulled open the door for the succubi to exit.

“You’re too kind, Jacob.” Sia smiled as she slid out of the back seat. “I can see why these girls love you so much.”

“You’ll come to love him in time too, sister,” Libidine said as she hopped down out of the vehicle after the redhead.

“It all comes back to the connection,” Cupiditas explained as she followed the other succubi out of the Jeep.

Superbia crossed her arms and smiled. “It will happen when it happens, Cupiditas. I already got a little taste back at Quinn’s mansion, and I must admit that I am intrigued.”

“Trust me, sister, a mouthful is far better than just a taste.” Libidine winked.

“We’ll see,” the redheaded madame chuckled as she put her hand on the small of my back, “but first, we need to see how our sleeping accommodations are going to pan out.”

“It’s not complicated,” I explained as I began to head toward where the river met the rock. “If Todd packed correctly, then we’ll all share a tent. He’s got his own toddler-sized sleeping bag, and we each have our own. Of course, I also told him to bring along the extra-large family-sized sleeping bag. If you’re interested, that is.”

“Such a gentleman, too,” Sia cooed as the succubi began to follow. “Most men would probably just force us to sleep in the same bag.”

“Jacob has a kind heart,” Cupiditas said softly “kind enough that he was able to melt my own icy one.”

“For being a mortal, he does seem to have a knack for doing the impossible.” The redhead raised her eyebrows to emphasize her point.

“You are going to be his greatest test, Superbia,” Libidine joked and then put her hand on my shoulder. “Sister Superbia has never willingly had sex with a mortal who didn’t summon her.”

“Is that so?” I questioned slyly.

“It is.” Sia shrugged. “I am named after pride, remember? I’m saving myself for someone… worthy of my experience.”

“Guuuuuyssss!” Todd’s voice rang out behind us.

The four of us stopped in place, and the imp came to a sliding stop at our side.

Todd bent over and put his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “I was… I was waiting… for somebody to open my door. I see I don’t get the Cinderella treatment.”

Cupiditas laughed. “That’s because Jacob isn’t trying to woo you.”

“Fair enough.” Todd pulled off his cowboy hat and used it as a makeshift fan.

“That’s not it at all.” I rolled my eyes. “Now let’s keep moving. I want to find a good campsite before it starts getting dark.”

We only had to walk another hundred feet or so until we were at the base of the rock.

What we saw could only be described as a literal oasis.

Thanks to millions of years’ worth of erosion, the Mojave River had carved its way through the massive red sandstone to form a beautiful ravine. The clear blue water ran in a snake-like pattern between two sprawling walls of rock as the sound of its miniature rapids reverberated through the structure. Above the second bend in the river was a natural platform that looked to be at least fifty feet wide.

“That looks like the perfect place to make camp.” I pointed to the plateaus. “This is perfect! It’s secluded, it’s beautiful, and most importantly, it’s got plenty of room for festivities.”

“So, uh, who’s gonna carry all our camping shit over there?” Todd asked nervously.

“Can’t Jacob just transport it with his powers?” Cupiditas asked playfully. “It would be a good test of his strength, and maybe it would impress Sister Superbia.”

“I defeated Azazel.” I let out a playful laugh of my own. “How much more impressive do you need me to get?”

“Bro, just let them play wingman,” Todd whispered not-so-subtly. “They’re really fucking good at it.”

“Fine.” I sighed. “I guess I just need to get really disgusted. That’s gonna be hard to do with this magnificent scenery and you beautiful women in front of me.”

“You know, if I was actually into demon chicks, my schlong would be hard as a rock right now at the sight of them too,” Todd laughed, “but I’m not. So… floppy as a dead fish.” He motioned to his crotch.

“That was totally uncalled for,” I half-teased, half-scolded, but the Toddster just shrugged.

“Yeah, but now you’re good and disgusted, right?” He gestured at my head, and I realized that he was right.

“Yeah,” I laughed as I realized my horns had appeared.

“Now that you’re all demony and whatnot, can we get our stuff?” Todd asked. “I left my good stuff back in the car, and I really don’t feel like walking back and getting it.”

“All of our supplies are in the bed of the Jeep, right?” I nodded to the imp.

“Of course,” Todd reassured then shrugged. “Probably. I hope.”

I climbed up onto the platform where we intended to make camp, closed my eyes, and started to summon green flames into my hand. I pictured the items in the back of our Jeep, then I thought back to what Todd had just said. I could feel the tingly sensation of the emerald fire spread across my body, and then I became weightless.

“Holy shit,” Todd said as he whistled. “I guess Jakey is Superman after all.”

I finally opened my eyes and saw that I was floating several feet off the ground. Much to my surprise, the supplies from the Jeep were not in the air. Instead, Shadow herself hung in the sky in front of me, suspended by the same green Hellfire.

Slowly, I lowered myself and the vehicle down to the rocky ground.

“Looks like we’re going to have to take up camp on the other clearing.” I chuckled and patted Shadow’s hood. “She needs this one all to herself. Now, who wants to help set up camp?”

Todd and the succubi ran over to the Jeep as I pulled up on the tailgate hatch. The second it was open, the imp leapt up onto the bumper and began to sort through the clutter.

“Here’s the plan,” I explained. “Todd’s going to be our sorter. Liby and I will carry the equipment over to the campsite, and Cupi and Sia will set it up as we go. Sound good?”

“Excellent,” Cupiditas nodded.

A burst of purple erupted from Cupi’s back as she sprouted her wings, and then the blonde picked up Sia and carried her over to the second platform.

“One eight-person tent,” Todd mumbled as he slid a long, green rectangular case over to the edge of the Jeep bed.

“I’ll get it!” Libidine smiled as she raised out her hand and picked up the tent with her telekinetic flames. The curvy succubus moved the shelter over to where Cupi and Sia were now standing as Todd pulled out a huge pile of logs for firewood.

“What about a pit?” the imp asked. “We’ve got enough of these babies to last us a week!”

“Look around us.” I chuckled and summoned my own green flames. “I think we’ll be fine just finding rocks for a fire pit.”

I slowly moved my jade-colored hand upward, and the logs followed suit. As I turned my body and waved my hand to the right, I noticed that the two succubi across the way were already making good progress on the tent. I set the logs down to the far left of the two women, and Libidine’s emerald flame lowered a couple of roasting spits right next to them.

“Those aren’t firewood, you know.” I laughed and moved the spits further away from the log pile with my telekinetic powers. “They’re for roasting marshmallows.”

“What are those?” Libidine asked curiously.

I smiled back in anticipation. “Oh, you’ll find out once it gets dark and we get a fire going.”

“If it’s anything like all the incredible food you’ve been treating us to the last few weeks, I’m looking forward to it,” Liby said as she turned back to Shadow.

The succubus and I continued to move our equipment from one plateau to the other. In the end, Todd was able to find some lighter fluid, the ingredients to make s’mores, all of our sleeping bags, a tiny butane grill, and some phone books that he intended to use as a camping mat.

After the last item was delicately placed in the campsite, we locked up Shadow and made our way over to the others.

As we approached, Sia and Cupi were comically trying to stretch the rain fly over the tent. Each time they tugged at the fabric, it caused the entire structure to tilt in the same direction.

“I said to hold it, Cupiditas!” Sia growled.

“I’m trying to hold it!” the blonde shot back. “There’s nothing sturdy to grab onto!”

“Uh, guys?” I tried to break the tension in the air. “I think you forgot something.”

“Yes, I know we didn’t stake it down,” Cupi huffed. “The ground is solid rock, and neither of our Hellfire powers is concentrated enough to manipulate something that delicately.”

“Let me try.” I waved my hands to get them to stop.

I picked up the stakes for the tent, closed my eyes, and then pictured the exact spots in the topsoil that I wanted them to go. The emerald flame encircled the tiny metal pieces, and a second later I felt their weight vanish from my hand. I opened my eyes to see that each corner of the tent was now snuggly secure in the rocky ground.

All three of the succubi’s mouths were agape, but I just shrugged.

“You’re welcome,” I joked.

I repeated my telekinetic spell once the succubi had gotten the rain fly in place, and our shelter for the night was now ready to go.

The tent was made for eight people, but it probably could only comfortably hold five or six. The base was about fifteen feet wide, with a stake placed at each of the four corners to hold it in place. The shelter was in the dome-style and had a dark, navy blue color scheme with gray trim and a gray covering.

“So, are you guys going to be fucking in this thing?” Todd asked nonchalantly. “I just want to make sure I’m not here when you do.”

“Tell you what.” I slapped the imp playfully on the shoulder. “I think the girls and I are going to go for a little swim. If you want to stay here, build the fire, and finish setting up camp, that’d be great.”

“Ahhh.” Todd winked. “So you’re gonna fuck in the water again.”

I laughed at the imp’s comment. “Just a swim for now.”

“That sounds like code for fucking, bro,” he chuckled.

“That sounds marvelous!” Sia exclaimed.

“I agree.” Cupiditas smiled devilishly. “I’ve discovered that I love swimming. A lot.”

“Then it’s settled.” I tugged off my shirt and jeans and then motioned for the girls to follow.

As I jogged toward the Mojave River, I could hear the succubi giggling as they ran behind me.

It was time for some much-needed rest and relaxation.

Chapter 9

Even though I was sure that Todd was going to be too preoccupied with camp stuff to notice us, I took the three succubi over to the far side of the ravine for some privacy. We were now closer to the opening of the rock formation, but we were far enough away from the road that it didn’t really matter. Nobody was going to bother us all the way out here.

“The water looks fine, guys!” I smiled as I waded into the shallow part of the river. “Not a very strong current, and it’s pretty clean by desert standards. It’s no Olympic-sized swimming pool, but it’ll do for now.”

“Are you going to keep your pants on this time?” Libidine frowned as she looked at my boxer shorts.

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “There could be fish in here, and I don’t need them mistaking my dick for a piece of bait. Besides, this water is frigid. There’s going to be some significant shrinkage going on.”

All three of the girls stood on the bank of the river and stared blankly.

“Shrinkage,” I explained and pointed to my crotch. “You know, like when it gets cold…”

“Please!” Cupi giggled. “You’re so massive that I don’t think it would matter anyway.”

“There’s only one way you’re going to find out, now isn’t there?” Liby grinned.

“Maybe I could use a little peer pressure?” I winked at the girls.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Sia sighed as she tugged off her tight tube top and exposed her breasts. “I’ve wanted out of these Earth clothes since the second we put them on.”

Superbia may have had a small chest, but she made it work with her petite body. Her pink nipples stood at attention as the succubus reached down and began to pull at her skirt. Sia wiggled her hips playfully to get the garment to come off, and then she tossed it uncaringly to the side. As she made her way to the water, my eyes were drawn to the delicate slit between her legs.

The other girls didn’t wait on their madame before they joined in.

Libidine giggled as she removed her crop top. Her voluptuous breasts plopped down one by one as they were released from their fabric prison, and then they both hung down like massive globes when she bent over to take off her daisy dukes. The second Liby was naked, she bounded after her redheaded sister. Each quick step the succubus took made her massive breasts jiggle hypnotically as she ran.

Cupiditas, of course, wasn’t one for theatrics. Her clothes were off in seconds flat, and she slowly started to strut over to the river as if she couldn’t care less.

I knew Cupi better than that. The fit blonde was trying to tease me and get me all hot and bothered.

It was working like a charm.

“Well, I guess I may as well join.” I smiled as I tugged off my boxer shorts and then threw them on the nearby bank.

“Cupi was right,” Libidine gasped. “It really didn’t matter.”

Sia stopped in her tracks and bit her lip at the sight of my cock.

“Come now, sister,” the fit blonde cooed as she walked past Superbia and entered the water. “Don’t keep our master waiting.”

“We’re just going for a swim.” I laughed.

“Fine,” Libidine moped. “We’ll relax now, and then we can have our real fun later.”

“That’s what the four-person sleeping bag is for.” I grinned.

I continued out about five or six feet into the middle of the river where the depth came up slightly above my waistline. The water was chilly and somewhat murky, but it felt refreshing on my skin after a long day of traveling through the arid climate of southern California.

The three succubi were not far behind. Liby and Cupi walked with their arms around each other's shoulders, and Superbia shivered slightly as she approached.

“This is such a beautiful place,” Liby said as she looked around at the rock formation. “We would have never seen anything like this with Earl.”

“Indeed.” Sia crossed her arms over her nipples that now looked hard enough to cut diamonds. “It’s a lot more desolate where we come from, at least when it comes to natural landscapes. Demon-made features, on the other hand? There’s probably not a single part of the landscape of Hell that isn’t littered with blood, gore, or bones.”

“Sounds like a pleasant place,” I sarcastically responded. “It warms my heart to know that Azazel is going to spend the rest of eternity there.”

“If this ceremony doesn’t go through,” the redhead reminded me.

“Right.” I nodded. “That’s why, as much as I love spending time with you guys, we have to get back on the road in the morning.”

“Ugh,” Libidine groaned. “Can we stop talking about work for five minutes?”

“Seriously,” Cupiditas laughed, “even I just want to forget about Azazel and demon slaying and this virgin woman for a moment. We need to have a bit of fun before we get back to our adventure.”

“Oh, so you want to have fun?” I said as my mouth spread into a sly grin.

Without warning, I cupped my hands together, threw them under the water, and then sent a spray of brisk water toward the succubi.

Libidine and Sia both squealed in surprise as the cold water hit their torso, but Cupi took my attack as a challenge. The blonde succubus’ eyes narrowed as she slapped at the water playfully to return the favor.

I ducked down under the water to avoid Cupi’s retaliation, and I got an idea. Quickly, I swam over to the blonde succubus, put my hands on her thighs, and stood up.

“What are you-- Ahhh!” the succubus screamed happily as she rose into the air on my shoulders.

“Ever heard of a game called ‘chicken?’” I asked. “My friends and I used to play it all the time back in my parent’s pool. It’s easy! All you have to do is try to knock the other person off!”

“You’re on.” Libidine turned to her madame and squatted down into the water. “Sister, climb on my back.”

The redhead laughed as she tossed her legs over Liby’s shoulders. “Oh, so I’m the one who has to face Cupiditas?”

The dark-haired succubus lifted Sia up, but the petite woman was so short that the top of her head only came to Cupi’s chest.

“You clearly have an unfair height advantage,” Sia said with a chuckle. “But since I taught Cupiditas everything she knows about being a demon. This should be easy.”

“Don’t be so sure, sister,” Cupiditas retorted. “I was a badass warrior in the Army of the Divine before I joined your ranks.” The blonde tapped her heels into my chest as if I were her horse. “Charge!”

Libidine and I both lumbered toward each other until the two succubi on our backs were within an arm’s reach away. Sia and Cupi shoved at each other, and the tiny redhead was actually much stronger than she appeared at first glance.

I couldn’t see exactly what was going on up there as my focus was on constantly readjusting my footing in the sediment as I tried to keep from falling over.

“Have at you!” Sia cackled from above.

The force from her next blow made me stumble backward to keep Cupiditas upright.

“Had enough?” the blonde on my shoulders shot back with a laugh, and then Libidine’s body wobbled briefly.

The two succubi laughed with glee as they continued to shove at each other. Cupi finally let out a grunt, and I felt her give the redhead a solid push.

“Oh no!” Libidine’s eyes widened as she was pulled back into the water with Sia.

“Yeeeahhhh!” Cupiditas let out a primal scream of victory.

It was going to be short-lived.

“Now it’s your turn!” I laughed maniacally.

“Jacob, wa--” she started, but then I tossed her off my shoulders, and she fell into the river with a splash.

Libidine was the first to return to the surface. Her long, beautiful dark hair clung to her face and covered it completely. The succubus blew her black locks out of her eyes and let out a defeated sigh. Sia came up right behind her a second later.

“Was it a draw?” the redhead asked excitedly once she realized that Cupi was emerging from the water too.

“Of course not,” Cupiditas growled from behind me. “Jacob here just decided that I deserved to get wet too.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made all three of you ladies wet.” I grinned, and Cupi smacked me on the arm playfully.

“Dudettes!” I heard Todd’s impish voice echo through the ravine. “Could you come here for a minute?”

Liby and Cupi both looked toward the imp.

“I think he needs our help.” The blonde nodded to the dark-haired woman.

“Shall I come, as well?” Superbia asked.

“No, no.” Cupi smirked. “You and Jacob stay here. Liby and I have this.”

“Are you su--”

“Trust us, sister,” Libidine reassured Sia. “We will be back soon, and then we can continue our little game.”

Purple Hellfire shot out of Liby and Cupi’s backs as their wings appeared, and the two women took to the sky.

Sia and I were now alone.

“You know, I think this is the first time since you agreed to join us that we’ve been alone,” I chuckled.

“I believe so.” Superbia nodded. “One of the girls or Todd always seems to have a clever comment whenever we even look at each other the wrong way.”

“So,” I raised my eyebrow. “Do you think you made the right call? Is all of this worth disavowing Azazel and his masters?”

The tiny redhead thought for a moment and then nodded in agreement. “Yes,” she said as her violet eyes looked into mine. “I honestly wish I had done it sooner.”

As she spoke, Sia was inching closer.

“Does that mean I’ve… impressed you?” I questioned slyly.

The madame was now right in front of me, and she reached out and began to rub her small hands up and down my chest.

“Yes, you have, Jacob,” she cooed as her other hand reached under the water and caressed my dick, “in many, many ways.”

I bent down and pulled Sia’s lips onto mine. Our tongues danced around in each other's mouths as she started stroking at my cock, and I became fully erect in her hand. The madame began with a few slow, gentle tugs, but as our make-out session became more aggressive, so did she.

I ran my hand across the succubus’ chest, stopping to fondle each of her perky nipples tenderly.

Superbia moaned in response, and somehow my cock got even harder. The redhead pulled back and stared at me passionately.

“Jacob?” She batted her big, doe-like violet eyes at me. “I’m ready.”

Without another word, I scooped her up in my arms and carried her out of the river and onto the small plateau. There was nothing but rock around us, so I had to improvise. I tossed down a blanket of purple flames and sat the succubus down on top of it.

Sia gasped when her bare ass hit the harmless violet fire, but I didn’t give her much time to think about it. Once she was safely on the platform, I threw my hands around her waist and slowly started to slide the redhead onto my dick. Sia’s pussy was amazingly tight, but she was wetter than I could have possibly imagined, and I was able to slide my length fully into her with one slow thrust.

The woman couldn’t contain her intense moan when I was deep inside of her. Superbia’s cries of pleasure echoed back and forth across the ravine walls, but at this point, I didn’t give a fuck if anyone heard us. Sia’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she threw down her hands to grab the edges of the platform to brace herself.

I pumped in and out of the succubus slowly, pulling out and stopping every so often just so I could hear her beg for me to put it back in. Just when I felt like she was on the verge of an orgasm, I started to thrust harder.

Sia’s sexy petite breasts bounced seductively as I pounded her, and the sounds that escaped the succubus’ mouth grew more intense with each thrust. I leaned down over the woman, pulled all the way out, and then slowly slid back in as I began to make out with her again.

The redhead wrapped her arms around my naked torso and began to quiver. She was on the verge.

“I want to be on top,” she panted.

“You want to switch now?” I asked.

“Pride, remember?” she squeaked out in between moans.

In a single motion, I flipped both of our bodies around so that Sia and I switched positions without missing a single stroke. I ran my hand along her flat stomach as she sat up and thought about what she was going to do next.

The redhead placed both of her knees on the platform and then began to grind her pussy against my cock in a circular motion. She let out another intense moan, and I didn’t know how much longer I was going to last. Sia started going faster, the lips of her dripping-wet labia gliding in all directions across my dick as she moved.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

Our moans intensified and intermingled as her pussy tightened like a vice around me. Then I filled her with my warm cum, and her muscles clenched me even more with spasmodic pulses that milked every drop from me.

Exhausted, Sia collapsed down onto me, and the two of us laid there as a heaving pile of bodies. After a moment, she raised her head and looked up at me. Her red hair was still wet from our swim, and I couldn’t tell if it was beads of water or beads of sweat that lay on her forehead.

“Jacob,” she panted, “that was incredible.”

“You weren’t too bad yourself,” I joked. “Who the hell am I kidding? You lived up to the hype and then some!”

The madame rolled off onto the flaming violet platform beside me, and I wrapped my arm around her lovingly. The sun was just starting to set over the desert sky, so we laid there for a little longer until the dusk became the night.

“The stars are beautiful, Jacob.” Sia cooed as she snuggled up tightly against me. “I’m starting to think that meeting you was the best thing to  ever happen to me.”

“I could say the same thing about the three of you.” I smiled. “Believe it or not, before Liby and Cupi came along, Todd and I were just your run-of-the-mill twenty-something losers.”

“They made your life better?” she asked.

“You all have.” I chuckled happily. “Summoning a succubus is the smartest decision I ever made.”

“Speaking of the girls,” Sia sighed dreamily and looked over to our campsite, “I think they have finally got the fire going. Shall we join them?”

“If I can even still walk,” I joked as we both stood up, and I disintegrated the violet spell.

I used a bit of my emerald flame to pick up all of our clothes, and then Sia and I made our way back over to where our friends were hanging out. When we walked up to the campsite, I could see that Todd had put everything in order.

A campfire powered by red Hellfire roared at the very center of the platform and acted as the main hub of our makeshift base. About twenty feet away from the fire sat our butane grill and a mixed pile of firewood and phone books to be used as kindling. All three of our friends sat on the ground around the fire pit, each holding a roasting stick.

“Have a good time?” Cupiditas asked with a raised eyebrow.

I laughed at the question. “You know we did.”

“It must have gotten really intense out there.” Todd snickered. “I saw you were using your powers and everything!”

“I’m not going--”

“Jakey, it’s okay,” Todd explained. “It was all set up by the three of us here.”

“Excuse me?” Now, I was completely confused.

“Let me explain,” Libidine spoke up. “Cupiditas and I were talking, and we realized that we needed to get you as powerful as possible if we are to stand a chance against the forces of darkness.”

“Sister Superbia was being too… hesitant to make the connection,” Cupi chuckled. “So we sped up the process a little.”

“Maverick, meet your Gooses!” Todd laughed and then he high-fived Liby.

“The tension was obviously there.” The dark-haired succubus shrugged. “We just had to get you two alone together, and this was the perfect chance.”

“I am troubled by your deception, girls.” Sia shook her head back and forth, but then smiled at the succubi. “But I appreciate your efforts. We had quite the time, didn’t we, Jacob?”

“That’s the understatement of the century.” I laughed as I sat down next to Cupi.

“Are you ready for some mores?” Libidine bounced up and down happily.

“S’mores, doll.” Todd facepalmed. “For the millionth time, they’re called s’mores. Kids these days.”

Cupiditas pulled back her stick and inspected her two perfectly toasted marshmallows. “I don’t care what they’re called. As long as they’re delicious, they’re going in my belly.”

Todd stood up and waddled over to the butane grill. “We had to adjust the recipe a little since, well, we’re roasting these bad boys over Hellfire,” the imp chuckled, “but Cupi and Liby are naturals!”

The imp returned with a paper plate filled with graham crackers and chocolate bars.

“And now, for the greatest fucking thing since Rastaman Vibration.” Todd grinned, combined four pieces of chocolate and crackers, and then walked over to Cupi.

He carefully slid the first marshmallow off the stick in between the two crackers and then laid it back onto the plate. Todd did the same thing with the second fluffy white dessert, but this time, he made sure that he held the finished product close to the fire so that the chocolate melted. The imp waddled over and handed the two treats to Sia and me.

“For the happy couple,” he giggled.

Maybe it was just because I hadn’t eaten in a while, but this s’more looked fucking delicious.

The graham crackers were so crisp that they nearly broke apart in my grasp. At the same time, the gooey mixture of toasted marshmallow fluff and melted chocolate mushed out from the sides of the dessert and dribbled down my hand.

I raised the s’more to my mouth and took a bite. Instantly, my taste buds were greeted with a delicious blend of honey, sugar, and just a touch of bitterness.

“Okay,” Sia said with a mouthful of s’more. “I think I may have lied. Now, this is officially the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That good, huh?” I laughed.

All around the campfire, the rest of the group were taking bites of their treats. Judging by the near-orgasmic sounds they made, it seemed like they enjoyed the s’mores as much as Sia and I were doing.

“I’m going to make an executive decision,” Cupi announced. “From now on, I want Jacob and Todd to pick what we eat. Just when I think they can’t surprise me anymore…”

“You’re welcome, blondie.” Todd raised his s’more like he was giving a toast.

I glanced down at my watch. “Yikes, it’s getting kinda late,” I observed. “We still have a full day’s drive ahead of us, and that’s without stops.”

“Bro, everybody knows we’re gonna make stops,” Todd mused. “Probably multiple ones, each with their own unique location and special obstacle we have to overcome.”

“Okay--”

“I’ll fuck some shit up, the girls will get into hilarious fish out of water situations, and you’ll be stuck playing the straight man,” the imp said as he stuck his face next to the campfire to light his joint. When he pulled back, the front of his cowboy hat was singed. “It’s gonna be a blast.”

“What I’m saying is that it’s about time to be hitting the ‘hay,” I explained. “We’ve still got a long mission ahead of us.”

“I agree.” Sia nodded. “A good night’s rest will be beneficial to all of us.”

Todd and the succubi stood up, and the five of us headed off to the tent.

“Do you think it’s safe to keep that fire going?” Libidine asked as I unzipped the tent.

“If we don’t, we’re going to have all sorts of animals snooping around our camp,” I said to the succubus. “The last thing we want is some coyote coming in here, pissing on our stuff and eating our food.”

“It’s fine, Liby.” Todd chuckled and puffed at his joint. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow. I’ve drank, like, an entire gallon of water today.”

For my own sanity, I ignored Todd’s words and headed over to the family-sized sleeping bag. As I climbed in, I looked over at the three succubi.

“So, who’s going to take me up on my offer?” I grinned.

All three of the girls giggled as they ran over and hopped into the large blue bag. Cupi, Liby, Sia, and I snuggled up close together, and our bodies were warm as they pressed together tenderly.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep in no time at all.

“Bro, I need your help out here!” I was jolted awake by the sound of Todd’s voice coming from outside the tent.

I glanced groggily at my phone as I slowly climbed out of the sleeping bag and walked to the opening flap of the tent. I reached down and began to undo the zipper quietly.

“It’s important, bro!” he implored. “Just come out here, Jacob.”

I froze in place.

Todd almost never called me “Jacob,” especially since he turned into an imp. It was always “bro” or “Jakey,” but never my formal name.

As I stood there in hesitation, I heard the familiar snoring of the imp coming from behind me. I turned around, and there was Todd, sound asleep in a miniature orange sleeping bag.

“Jaccccoooob…” Todd’s voice now sounded more gurgly and distorted. “Come here. It’s important, bro.”

Quietly, I snuck back over to where the imp and the succubi were passed out. I shook Todd, and the imp scowled at me as he awoke.

“Don’t interrupt an imp’s beauty sleep, br--”

I threw my hand down over Todd’s mouth to keep him quiet.

“Todd, please tell me you’ve learned how to throw your voice,” I whispered to the imp.

Todd’s eyes widened, and he shook his head.

“Jaaaacoooobbb…” the voice was now closer.

The light from the roaring campfire outside was suddenly interrupted by a large, lanky shadow. Whatever was outside seemed to be a quadruped, and it was dragging its massive body along by two long, spider-like legs in the front. As it passed by the tent, it made a sound like a death rattle.

Seconds later, a second figure passed by the fire. This one was more massive and bulky, and it walked on two legs. Its long shadow was made even taller by the antlers that stretched up over its head.

I put my finger up to my lips and lowered my hand from Todd’s mouth.

“Bro, I recognize that sound…” he whispered in terror. “It’s fucking Skinwalkers.”

Chapter 10

“Can’t they see our tent?” I whispered to the imp as the shadows continued to encircle the campfire.

“No, bro.” Todd shook his head. “They’re nearly blind. Skinwalkers hunt based on their other senses.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God we left the fire going. The smell and sound of the flames is probably the only thing keeping them from pinning down our location.”

I carefully walked over to where the three succubi were sleeping and nudged them awake.

“Brrroooooo,” the Todd-like inhuman voice hissed from outside. “I need your help.”

“How is that--” Liby started to say, but Todd placed a tiny finger on her mouth before she could finish.

“Skinwalkers,” he whispered.

The second the words left the imp’s mouth, all three of the succubi’s eyes widened in terror.

“How many of them?” Cupiditas mumbled quietly.

“At least two,” I whispered, “but it sounds like there could be more of them out there.”

“Maybe they just want to talk about an alliance?” The dark-haired succubus shrugged. “Raphael said that most metaphysical entities are currently neutral.”

“They’re trying to use Todd’s voice to lure me out and isolate me.” I shook my head. “No, these things are here to kill us.”

Cupi’s eyes narrowed. “Then we need to kill them first.”

“How the fuck do we do that?” Todd protested in a whisper. “I read that these things are immune to magical attacks. They used to be Native American shamans after all.”

“That may be true,” Sia answered, “but they are still able to be defeated through traditional weapons. It’s the price they pay for cutting a deal with Lucifer.”

“He’s ironic like that,” Liby added with a whisper.

I crept over to my duffel bag at the foot of our large sleeping bag. Thankfully, it was already open, so I didn’t have to take the risk of making a noise by unzipping it. Carefully, I rummaged through our supplies until I found the two elaborate daggers we’d stolen from the cult. I stood up, nodded to the blonde succubus, and then tossed her the bull-headed one.

“We’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way,” I whispered. “By stabbing them to death.”

As I approached the door of the tent, I motioned for my friends to follow. The five of us were soon huddled together, and I started to explain my plan.

“Magic might be ineffective on Skinwalkers,” I started, “but it can still be useful for fighting them. Liby, use your telekinetic powers to throw shit at them. Todd, I want you to confuse the fuck out of them by changing your voice. Cupi, you’re my close-quarters combat girl, so I want you to kill these fuckers while they’re distracted.”

“And what is my task, Jacob?” Sia whispered.

“You have the most important job of all, Sia,” I put my hand on her tiny shoulder. “These guys sound horrifying. If one of them gets to us, we need you to be ready to heal our wounds.”

“So I am reduced to the role of medic?” the redhead asked sadly.

“Insurance is always important, but if you take out one or two of them along the way, I can live with that.” I smiled at the madame and then turned back to the rest of my friends. “Everybody understand their job? There won’t be a chance to explain again once I open this door.”

Todd and the succubi all nodded in agreement.

I turned back to the tent door and took a deep breath. As I reached down and began to unzip the flap, I tried not to breathe. The zipper made a dull whine as the teeth were separated, but it was soon all the way open, and the monsters didn’t seem to notice. I took one more deep breath, clutched the goat-headed dagger in my hands, and then stepped out into the darkness.

It took everything in my power not to gasp at the sight that now stood in front of me.

About ten feet away stood the bulkier, bipedal Skinwalker whose shadow I’d seen earlier. His frame was muscular, and he had to stand at least seven feet tall. The Skinwalker’s entire body was covered with bloody, matted fur that was falling off in clumps. Underneath the fur were patches of brown, rotting skin. The creature’s face looked like that of a deer, with six-point antlers atop his head, an elongated snout, and beady black eyes. Most unsettling, however, was the freshly torn flesh that dangled from the Skinwalker’s antlers and teeth.

On my left was the one that had been calling my name. Though its face was much more human, it had large ears like a bat, and his skin had fallen off to reveal the muscle underneath. The Skinwalker’s back legs were small and useless, but his massive arms were nearly five feet long. As it dragged itself across the sand with its arms and sniffed the air, it looked like something directly out of a horror movie.

I motioned for my friends to exit, and we began to make our way silently past the fire. Just as we were passing by it, Skinwalker number three came around the side of the inferno, and we froze in our tracks.

This one was much smaller than the other two. It appeared to have the body of a human woman, but it crawled on all fours. She had reddish-brown fur matted against her naked body, and what looked like the stubby remains of a tail jutted out from just above her buttocks. Her eyes were black like the others, and white foam dripped from her snarling mouth onto the sand. The creature was crawling only about six feet away from us.

It was time for us to make our move.

I locked eyes with the blonde succubus, and Cupiditas nodded back. Then I gripped my dagger tighter in my hands as we began to flank the coyote-woman. Cupi snuck up from the front, and I approached from the rear. Once we were within striking distance, I took a running jump, landed on the creature’s back and plunged the dagger into its neck repeatedly.

The Skinwalker let out an inhuman scream, but it was quickly silenced when Cupi stabbed through its brain with her bull-head dagger. Still, the split second of a cry was enough to attract the attention of its friends.

From not far off in the distance, the other Skinwalkers returned the call of their fallen friend. The sound was a mixture of a human screaming in rage and various animal cries, and it was chilling to the bone.

It sounded like there were a lot of them.

Todd hurriedly motioned for us to run, and we followed the imp over to the far side of the campsite, next to the firewood.

The two Skinwalkers I had seen from earlier both came lumbering over to their deceased friend and were quickly joined by two others. The first one could have passed for a demon with his ram-like horns and cloven feet. However, his breaths came out as gargled bleats. His face had the features of a human, but his lips protruded out like a goat’s, and his entire upper torso was covered with long brown fur.

There was no mistaking that the final Skinwalker was a bear. It was down on all fours, sniffing the dead body of its fallen comrade with its long, black snout. The monster had regular human hands, but they were gigantic, furry, and had razor-sharp claws where each fingernail should be. When it walked, its body hobbled awkwardly back and forth.

Each of the creatures howled in anger when they saw what we had done to their friend. Their roars echoed through the desolate desert air and were answered by far-away coyotes. Once their howls silenced, the Skinwalkers were answered by another sound off in the distance, one that was completely inhuman.

They were calling for backup.

My thoughts were interrupted by an elbow from Libidine. I looked over at the dark-haired succubus, and she pointed to our four marshmallow roasters from earlier. She outstretched her hand and engulfed it with a green flame. The sharp spits were surrounded by a wave of bright emerald fire as they lifted up into the air. Liby flung her hand in the direction of the Skinwalkers, and the skewers followed suit.

The first impromptu spear struck the bear-like Skinwalker in the back thigh, and the creature let out a shrill scream. The other three stabbed into the long-legged creature and took out both of its front legs. Without any support left for its body, the Skinwalker collapsed sideways into the fire and screamed as its entire torso was engulfed by the red-hot flames.

The remaining three Skinwalkers turned in the direction of the attack and began to charge.

“Now would be a good time for a distraction,” I whispered to Todd.

The imp took off to the left. “Hey, everyone, I’m Jacob Ralston! I’m a badass demon hunter who just killed all of your friends!” he cackled as he imitated my voice.

“Follow him, Cupi.” I nodded. “He’s probably going to need your help.”

I whistled to try to draw the Skinwalker’s attention, and then Cupi took off after Todd.

“I’m a tall, brown-haired dude with a bunch of hot women!” Todd’s voice grew more distant as he ran. “You can’t catch me, you stupid-ass Bambi bitch!”

Sia, Liby, and I turned and started to run in the opposite direction.

“I’m surprised Todd was able to stay quiet for so long,” Sia huffed as we ran. “It must have been absolute torture for him.”

“Was that… a joke?” I smiled at the redhead as we approached the river.

Sia just turned her head, shrugged, and gave me a knowing wink.

We came to the edge of the water, and I turned around to see that only one of the Skinwalkers had followed us.

The bear-like monster was still hobbled by Libidine’s attack, but he was running at us at an almost impossible speed. Blood and drool trailed out of his mouth as he dashed across the dark landscape and growled ravenously.

“We’re sitting ducks here, Jacob!” Sia cried out in fear.

“The fuck we are.” I pointed up toward the large pile of firewood next to the butane grill. “Liby, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Probably not,” the dark-haired woman mused, “but I’ll follow your lead!”

I threw out my hand in the direction of the log pile and ignited my hand with jade flames. Libidine mirrored my actions, and the entire pile lit was surrounded by green fire.

“You’re gonna have to trust me on this,” I reassured the succubi. “Don’t move until I tell you.”

“But Jacob--” Sia protested.

“Just trust me!” I told her again.

Despite his injury, the bear-monster was covering ground quickly and was nearly upon us. He grew closer and closer until he was about ten feet from where we stood at the base of the river.

“Now!” I pulled my flaming hand toward my body and then rolled out of the way of the charging creature.

I heard the sound of sand being tossed into the air as the Skinwalker tried to halt his momentum. Just as I turned around, I saw a flurry of emerald-covered tree logs zip by and crash into the creature. A small pile of the logs trapped his legs against the ground while the rest fell onto his back and pinned him face down in the river. Before the monster could react, I encased the wood with a purple shield to hold it in place underwater.

The creature struggled under the logs as he fought for breath. I held the Skinwalker under the water until he finally went limp. I released my spell, and the bear-man’s body slowly floated away down the Mojave.

Out of nowhere, I heard what sounded like a agonizeded bleating echoing through the ravine.

The succubi and I dashed back toward the main area of camp. As we ran, I could see a flash of purple light streaking toward us. The three of us came to a halt, and Cupiditas landed in front of us with Todd in her arms.

“What a rush!” Todd chuckled.

The blonde nodded with a feral grin. “We got the goat-creature, but the other one proved to be much more difficult.”

As if right on cue, the deer Skinwalker lumbered around the fire. He stamped his foot into the ground and bellowed. Even from this far away, I could smell the pungent, rotting flesh that hung off his body and antlers. The monster began to shamble in our direction as he searched the air for clues to our exact location.

“Todd, you ready to light up?” I asked the imp.

“Bro,” he nodded, “do you even need to ask?”

I stuck out my hand toward the butane grill beside us, and it glowed with bright emerald as I lifted it. The grill hung suspended in the air for a moment, and then I tossed it toward the Skinwalker.

Right as it reached the monster’s face, I launched a baseball-sized ball of red Hellfire from my left hand that smashed into the small piece of equipment. The butane tank exploded, and the monster’s skull was engulfed with a vibrant ball of red, yellow, and blue heat. The fire from the explosion only lasted a second, but once it disappeared, all that was left of the deer-creature’s head was a charred skull. The monster’s massive frame collapsed onto the ground with a dull thud.

“Whew,” I sighed once I realized it was all over.

“I never doubted us for a second, Jakey.” Todd snickered. “Those Skinwalker bastards had no idea what hit ‘em, especially that goat-guy that Cupi stabbed through the dick.”

The blonde shrugged. “Statistically, it’s the weakest part of the body.”

Off in the distance, I heard another blood-curdling scream that reminded me that we weren’t safe yet.

“We need to get going.” I pointed back at Shadow. “More of those things will be here soon.”

“What about our camping supplies?” Libidine asked.

“Grab what you can carry, but leave the rest,” I commanded. “We can always buy more with Quinn’s credit cards.”

We scrambled around the camp for a few minutes and picked up what we could though we left the tent at Sia’s insistence. I was able to grab the duffel bag that used to be our imp carrier while Sia made it a point to grab the family-sized sleeping bag and the other two girls picked up the rest of our clothes. When we met back up at the car, Todd was holding the s’more supplies in his arms and wearing the singed cowboy hat.

“What?” he asked. “These are very important for when I get the munchies, bro. Don’t let me get hangry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hangry.”

“Okay, okay,” I conceded with a chuckle as I opened the tailgate so we could toss our supplies in.

The five of us climbed into Shadow, and I thought about the smell of the Skinwalker’s rotting flesh as it wafted through my nostrils, as well as the grotesque, gory figures we’d just seen out at the campsite.

That was all I needed to conjure up my disgust and the emerald flames along with it.

The entire vehicle was engulfed in my spell, and when I opened my eyes, we were back on the empty patch of land beside the highway.

And I felt as tired as fuck. Teleporting the entire Jeep this far was almost too much for me on top of all the other hellfire conjuring I had done during the fight, and I felt my vision swim as my body shivered.

“Your powers are much stronger than before.” Cupi sounded impressed as she turned her eyes to Sia. “What exactly did you do to him, sister?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out,” the redhead giggled.

I didn’t bother telling the women that I wasn’t feeling that good. Instead, I turned the key in my hand, and the jet-black Jeep roared to life. I kicked Shadow into gear, and we started off down the highway once more.

“How did those things know where to find us?” I asked my friends half a minute later when my heartbeat had returned to somewhat normal, and I didn’t feel like I was about to faint.

“Skinwalkers have a sixth sense when it comes to magical abilities.” Sia explained. “Having all five of us in a single area must have been making them go crazy, I didn’t think that their territory extended this far, but your increase in power after we made love must have drawn them to our location..”

“Yeah.” The imp confirmed. “They were magicians themselves at one point, and now they keep themselves alive by siphoning the life force out of anyone who has powerful magical energy. We should-- HOLY FUCK!”

Todd jumped back across the interior of the Jeep in terror, wrapped his arms and legs around my right arm like a koala, and pointed out the passenger-side window of the vehicle.

I nearly swerved off the road when I saw it. Another Skinwalker.

I could only see the top part of the monster, and it looked just as gnarly as the rest of the creatures we had killed. Its face had sunken black eyes that rested at the base of a long, flesh-colored beak. Where there would normally be hair, a cluster of bloody spines stuck out of the creature’s skull like a mohawk.

I slammed down my foot on the accelerator, but the Skinwalker was keeping pace.

The monster started to slam its body against the side of the vehicle, and it was all I could do to keep us from swerving off the road.

“We’re being chased by the fucking Road Runner from hell, man!” Todd screamed in terror as I barely regained control of the Jeep.

“I have an idea,” I said through gritted teeth, and then the creature caused us to swerve again.

As I fought for control with one hand, I rolled down my window, stuck out my free hand, and summoned a ball of red Hellfire.

“That’s not going to work on a Skinwalker, Jacob!” Sia called from the back seat.

“No, but it’ll work on the road,” I yelled as I unleashed the spell as far in front of us as I could. Far up the road, I saw a spray of asphalt as my blast landed, and my stomach lurched. I was definitely pushing the limits of my power, and my body really didn’t like it.

I turned the wheel of the Jeep, and Shadow lurched over so that we were now driving on the wrong side of the road.

The creature followed as it continued to run side-by-side with our vehicle, just like I’d planned.

A few seconds later, the creature let out a squeal of pain and disappeared from the passenger-side window. I slowed the car to a stop and looked back in the rear-view mirror to admire my work.

The creature laid in the middle of the highway as it writhed in pain. A bone was jutting out of its right leg from where it had tripped in my pothole from Hell.

Tripping when you’re running as fast as a car turned out to be as much of a bitch as I thought it would be.

The Skinwalker tried to drag itself off to the side using its ridiculously tiny arms.

“I’ve got this,” Liby said as she raised her hand toward the chunks of asphalt that were now laying on the ground.

Using her telekinetic powers, the dark-haired succubus picked up one of the jagged chunks of cement and gravel and moved it over above the Skinwalker’s head. She closed her fist and slammed down her hand repeatedly, and the asphalt did the same. By the time Liby released her spell, all I could see in the mirror was a mashed up, bloody pulp where the creature’s head used to be.

“I guess the coyote just needed Hellfire powers,” Todd joked. “Now that’s an episode I would watch! Meep, meep, motherfucker.”

“I’m not sure if that catchphrase really works.” I chuckled as I glanced at Sia. Then I kicked Shadow back into gear, slammed down the gas pedal, and the tires of the vehicle squealed as we shot off into the desert night.

Chapter 11

After our little scuffle with the Skinwalkers, we continued down the highway for another hour or so before we finally pulled in at a rinky-dink motel out in the middle of the desert. It was far from the luxury resort we had stayed at in Vegas, but we were all far too exhausted to care.

Most importantly, it was far away from the creatures’ territory.

I don’t even remember how we got from point A to point B. All I remember is pulling in, paying for a room with Quinn’s credit cards, and then crashing as soon as we hit the bed.

I awoke the next morning to the familiar sound of the X-Files theme as it blared from the television. I sat up and saw that all three of the girls and Todd were huddled on the second bed, watching the screen with great interest.

“Sleeping beauty’s awake,” Todd laughed when he saw me stir. “Finally! My stomach was starting to eat itself.”

“I’m assuming you guys all want breakfast?” I chuckled as I rubbed my eyes. I hadn’t told my friends about how much teleporting Shadow had fucked me up, but the rest had helped, and I felt almost one-hundred percent back to normal.

“Yes!” all four exclaimed in unison.

“And we’re in luck.” Todd grinned. “This place has a breakfast buffet.”

“A breakfast… buffet?” Cupi’s eyes grew large as she took in the imp’s words.

“You mean, like that place we ate in the Excalibur, where you could have as much food as you want?” Libidine was drooling. “But it’s all breakfast food?”

“Yep.” Todd smirked as I tossed on a shirt and looked at me. “But it’s only until eleven. That means we’ve got, what? An hour?”

Cupi stood up excitedly. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, dudette.” Todd giggled as he turned invisible. “Now that Jacob’s up, we’re good to go.”

I unlocked the deadbolt from the door, and I had barely got it open when all four of my friends scrambled past me in a hurry.

The hot desert sun beat down on my skin as I walked out onto the main balcony of the motel. I paused, placed my hand over my eyes, and looked out to the distance. We had arrived at this place in the wee hours of the morning, but now I could see just how out in the middle of nowhere we really were.

Far off on the landscape was a small range of mountains that cut across the light sand like a natural wall between civilization and the wilderness. Other than that, there was nothing but cacti, Joshua Trees, prickly pears, and aloe vera plants as far as the eye could see. Even the highway that we had arrived on was completely barren.

The state of the hotel only added to our isolation.

As I started toward the dining area, I couldn’t help but notice how much this place needed a new paint job. The sickly yellow covering was chipping off the adobe walls in splotches, revealing the colorless gray underneath. Meanwhile, the tacky, bright-red roof of the motel was noticeably sagging, and I could see that some sort of insects had made their nest in it just above room 205. Even the floors groaned with pain beneath my feet as I made my way toward the staircase.

If this motel was an animal, I’d want to take it out back and put it out of its misery.

It was bizarre because the inside or our room looked well enough. Of course it wasn’t a five-star resort, but it had well-kept beds and the wallpaper on the walls, though outdated, looked pristine. Even the carpet and the bathroom floors looked like they had little more than the wear from standard use. Not to mention, there was not a bug in sight.

I just hoped that the breakfast buffet was more like the room and less like the exterior.

The dining area of the motel was its own separate building off to the right side of the main structure, just beside the pool. As I entered through the sliding glass door, I was met with a mixture of sweet and savory aromas that made my stomach growl with anticipation.

Cupi, Sia, and Liby were all standing by the buffet with their plates, but they looked to be frozen in awe at the sight in front of them.

“Can’t decide what to pick first?” I chuckled as I walked up to the succubi.

“It is very overwhelming,” Sia responded. “The girls here are trying to describe what all of this stuff is, but they figured that we should just wait for your recommendations.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” Libidine said as she licked her lips. “I know I love sausage--”

“We’re succubi.” Cupi playfully snickered. “We all do.”

“But do I go with these pancakes?” Libidine tapped her chin like she was making an important life decision. “Or the waffles? Or the french toast? Or a crepe? I’ve never had a crepe before.”

I pointed to the blonde woman. “I think you should take a page from your sister there and go for it all.”

“Just because I’m competitive for your affection doesn’t mean I’m always greedy,” Cupi shot back. “In fact, Sister Gula is the one you have to worry about when it comes to Earthly pleasures like food.”

“Gluttony?” I raised my eyebrow as I heaped a pile of greasy bacon onto my plate.

“Of course,” the blonde retorted. “Sister Gula is the succubus with the most gluttonous personality.”

“I gotta ask,” Todd asked through a mouthful of eggs as dribbles were spit out onto the floor. “Is Gula a porker?”

“Todd!” I exclaimed. “That’s rude.”

“What?” the disembodied voice asked. “We’ve got succubi for pain and pedos. Why wouldn’t there be one for the chubby chasers?”

“No, Todd.” Sia rolled her eyes as she picked up a hard-boiled egg. “Like the rest of my sisters, Gula’s nickname comes from her personality, not her physical appearance.”

“Well that’s a bummer, bro.” The imp chuckled. “I was hoping that the succubus for sloth was an actual sloth.”

“That’s…” I couldn’t finish at first with how much I was laughing. “That’s not what sloth means.”

“Wait, it isn’t?” Todd asked as he tilted his imp head sideways like a confused dog.

“No dude,” I sighed. “Didn’t you pay attention at all in school?”

“You know I didn’t,” he laughed.

“But you studied all this occult stuff, so--”

“I just thought whenever they talked about sloth it was a big sloth,” Todd said with a self-satisfied nod.

“So, one of the seven deadly sins is a sloth?” I asked.

“Well a really, really big one with like long sharp claws and teeth like a monster wolverine. Then he’d stomp through cities and terrorize all the heathens.” As Todd spoke, I could imagine that he raised his arms to his side like Godzilla and moved like he was stomping on imaginary buildings.

“Bro, I love you,” I laughed. “You make every day awesome.”

“Awww,” Todd sighed. “Jakey, I love you too. Come on, let’s hug it out, but no homo. Kay?” The imp wrapped his arms around my leg, and then I patted him on the back. Then we both noticed that the girls had already moved to get their food, and we followed after them.

We were currently the only ones up at the breakfast buffet, but there were a couple of random people all the way back in the dining area. Thankfully, they were far enough away that they had no idea what we were talking about.

“What is this marvelous creation?” Sia gasped as she picked up a cinnamon roll with her tongs.

As the madame pulled the roll away from its bunch, the creamy white icing left a trail of drizzle all the way from the buffet tray to her plate. Sia’s tongs squeezed into the doughy morsel, and then she plunked it down next to a pile of fluffy scrambled eggs on her tray.

“Oh, you’re in for a treat.” I smiled at the redhead. “Those are probably the best breakfast item in the whole damn universe, especially the doughy ones like those that just melt in your mouth.”

“I’m just intrigued by the cream on top,” Cupiditas mused. “I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it looks familiar.”

“Seriously, sister?” Libidine chuckled. “Let me jog your memory.”

The dark-haired woman picked up one of the remaining cinnamon rolls with her hand and then raised it above her head. Then she then tilted back her neck, opened her mouth, and let the melted icing drizzle down. Most of the white liquid drizzled onto her waiting tongue, but a large portion landed on her face. The succubus ran her wet tongue around the edges of her lips and cheeks to clean up whatever droplets had missed her mouth. Liby swallowed the icing and then smiled at the three of us.

“Now does it look more familiar?” The curvy woman smirked at Cupi. “Not that I’d know. You always steal it away from me, anyways.”

Cupiditas sat her plate of food down and then walked over to her partner.

“You missed a couple drops,” the blonde purred as she began to run her tongue across Liby’s face so she could lap up anything left over. “You should know better than to let it go to waste.”

“I believe that Jacob is enjoying the show,” Sia said with a giggle as she pointed down to my crotch.

I couldn’t help it. Watching the two beautiful succubi running their tongues along each other was like a dream come true. If we weren’t in the middle of a public space, I would have thrown them both down onto a table and taken them right then and there.

Cupiditas gave Liby a playful wink as she turned away from the dark haired woman and returned to her plate at the bar. Libidine ran her eyes up and down the blonde’s athletic body as she bit into her cinnamon roll with satisfaction.

“Get a load of these two.” I chuckled and gave Sia a nudge on the arm. “Maybe they should get a room?”

“What about getting a load?” Cupi perked up.

“Guys,” Todd interrupted, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I think I have officially lost my appetite.”

“Seriously?” I asked in the general direction of the imp.

“I just can’t, bro,” he whimpered. “I think I’m gonna go to the pool and check out the ladies.”

I heard the click of Todd’s small hooves grow further away, but then they suddenly returned.

Two large links of sausage lifted up off Cupi’s plate, much to the blonde’s dismay.

“Hey!” she exclaimed.

“Just taking some sausage for the road,” the imp’s voice said with a snicker. “Besides, you’ve had more than your fill of sausages for the week.”

A few seconds later, the door leading to the pool opened, and the floating sausages disappeared through it.

The succubi and I piled up our plates to the brim and then ventured over into the dining area. There was an old, touristy looking couple all the way at a table in the back, and a rough-looking dude who sat alone playing on his phone at one of the high-tops.

“I dunno, guys,” I joked. “This place is pretty hopping. I don’t know if we’ll be able to find a table.”

I plopped down at a table near a window looking out onto the pool. As much as I wanted to have fun on this road trip, we still needed to be on high alert. After what happened last night, I didn’t want to let my guard down for a single second.

Besides, I wanted a front-row seat to whatever antics Todd was going to get into.

From my seat, I could see that there wasn’t much going on at the pool. A middle-aged couple was sunbathing in their swimsuits, and a lanky dark-haired teenage boy was walking around the perimeter with a skimmer. All the way off to the side, I could see the two floating sausages.

One of them vanished into thin air down Todd’s gullet, and the other lurched backward in the sky. The remaining sausage flew through the air and made a visible splash into the water, right next to the teenager.

The lanky teen looked over, and his eyes widened in horror. He threw his hand over his mouth, dropped the skimmer, and pointed at the floating sausage. The dark-haired teen picked up his tool off the ground and then slowly fished the piece of meat out of the water, his body lurching with gags the entire time. In one motion, he flung the skimmer upwards and sent the sausage flying back over the pool fence.

“Bro!” Todd’s voice caused me to jump. “I totally Caddyshack’ed ‘em, bro!”

“I thought you were gonna go be pervy?” I asked.

“Did you see what I’m working with out there?” the imp giggled. “Not exactly MILF material.”

“MILF?” Libidine asked through a mouthful of waffles.

“I think I know this one!” Cupiditas raised her hand excitedly. “It means ‘Mouths I’d Like to Feed.’”

The imp clicked his tongue. “Not even close, broette.”

“It means ‘Mothers I’d Like to Fuck,’” Sia chimed in. “It’s a request I used to get all the time, but unfortunately Earl didn’t have any succubi who fit that description.”

“Ah yes, the Cougar Club.” Libidine nodded. “Those were the succubi who reported to Baal, right?”

“Hold up,” Todd interrupted with a snort. “You’re saying that the cat-like demon is the one who was in charge of all the Cougars?”

“That is correct, Todd.” Sia nodded. “Where do you think the term came from?”

“Well, shit!” The imp chuckled and then shoved a handful of bacon into his mouth. “And here I thought I knew everything there was to know about the occult.”

“Mortal teachings will only get you so far, my friend.” Sia smiled. “That’s why it is so important to have us at your side. We’ve lived it.”

“So, how many legions of succubi are there?” I asked as I wiped a bit of bagel crumbs from off of my face. “If you all have your own nicknames, there must be a lot.”

“Oh, there are thousands.” Cupi nodded. “Think of how many demons inhabit the universe. Now, realize that nearly all of them have some sort of pimp underneath of them, and realize that each of those pimps has at least one legion of succubi that consists of four to twenty women.”

“That’s a lotta sex slaves,” Todd balked.

“Exactly,” Libidine confirmed. “That’s why Lucifer is so powerful himself. Every single demon reports to him in one way or another, and all of their succubi add to the Lord of Darkness’ power.”

“He’s unstoppable.” Sia frowned. “It’s why this war will never end. He’s nearly as strong as the Exalted One himself.”

“The best we can hope for is to whittle away at his forces until he finally loses enough power and backs off,” Cupi said with a grim look.

“And we will,” I reassured the succubi. “It all starts with preventing Azazel’s return.”

“So if there’s a Cougar Club, what did they call you guys?” Todd asked through the tension.

The three succubi looked at each other for a moment and then started to laugh.

“We’re the Circle of Sin,” Sia said as a sly smile spread up her face. “It makes me chuckle every time I say it out loud.”

Cupiditas shook her head. “It was that Earl’s idea.”

“Our former master was full of bad ideas,” Libidine added. “For example, he thought he could rip us away from our beloved Jacob. And now he’s dead.”

“You’re welcome,” I joked and pointed at Liby with a forkful of eggs.

“I get it.” Todd’s position was given away by the maple syrup that dribbled down his invisible chin. “All the different groups of succubi are like army battalions with their own codenames and shit.”

“Precisely.” Sia nodded. “Fighting was our main function when we weren’t doing our other duties, after all.”

“Unfortunately, it still feels like we are just fighting and fucking all the time.” Cupi sighed before she cracked a grin. “Not that I mind the fucking part.”

“Yes, but at least now we are fighting for a cause we believe in,” Liby corrected, “and for the man we love.”

“Look at you girls,” Superbia said with, well, pride. “A few months ago, you were both loyal servants under my and Earl’s command. Now, I’m sure you’d fight Lilith herself if the opportunity arose.”

“You wouldn’t?” Liby half-joked as she stared her violet eyes into the redhead’s.

The madame smirked. “My time with Jacob has been quite persuasive. I would fight and die for him the same as you and Cupi.”

“So…” Todd’s voice interrupted. “Is Lilith hot?”

“Pardon?” Sia asked in a half-annoyed, half-afraid tone.

“Is Lilith hot?” Todd reiterated. “She’s the original succubus who’s been banging dudes since the beginning of time. I’m just assuming she’s the hottest fucking woman in the entire universe.”

“I have only met Lilith a handful of times in my existence,” Libidine answered. “She is stunning. In fact, the first time I encountered Lilith was the day I discovered I liked girls, too.”

“Huh.” I chuckled. “For some reason, I always pictured Lilith as some big, ugly monster.”

“Why would the Exalted One create a monster to be the first woman?” Sia prodded.

“I dunno.” I shrugged. “I figured she turned all ugly and demonic when she fell from grace.”

Cupiditas clicked her tongue. “Jacob, I fell from grace, and look at me.”

“What do you think about Lilith, blondie?” Todd asked. “Do you wanna get all up in her guts too?”

“Actually, I’ve never met the Demon Queen in person,” the fit succubus explained. “I was a little late to the party, remember?”

“Lilith has been much more secluded in the last few centuries,” Sia added. “She doesn’t really do much anymore outside of running her succubus empire and performing the occasional mission for Lucifer.”

“So I’m assuming you have had a lot of contact with her?” I raised one of my eyebrows at the redhead as she shoveled another mouthful of hash browns into her mouth. “You are the Circle of Sin’s head succubus.”

“Oh yes,” Sia mumbled. “Lilith and I go way back. In fact, I was one of the first demons to offer my services under her command.”

“How did that work?” I was now so interested in the redhead’s backstory that I didn’t even care about my food. “After the Revolution, did you all just, like, choose what you wanted to do for the rest of eternity?”

“Bro…” Todd interjected. “A demon temp agency! We could be millionaires.”

“I don’t think--”

“Can’t possess ‘em like you used to?” He snickered. “Are you an old succubus that’s now all high and dry? Come to Todd and Jakey’s for a new lease on your second life! Massive imp schlong not included.”

“Todd--”

“Unless you ask nicely.”

Sia rolled her eyes and ignored Todd’s antics so she could answer my question. “There were no job applications or temp agencies like you have here on Earth. Lucifer is a big stickler for the Great Chain of Being.”

“I vaguely remember reading something about that in History class.” I laughed. “But then again, that’s probably why I ended up with a B+.”

“Bro, the Great Chain of Being is, like, the template about how all important things are seen in the eyes of the Divine,” the imp’s disembodied voice explained. “So, like, at the top is the Big Man Upstairs, followed by the angels, then us humans, then animals, and finally plants and minerals.”

“It is similar to the one that Lucifer uses,” Sia added. “Though his is a bit more extreme.”

“How so?” I asked.

“The Demonic Great Chain of Being starts at the top with Lucifer himself.” the redhead held out her hands to paint the picture. “Then from there it goes the Kings and Queens of Hell, then the Demon Lords, then the Dukes and Earls, then the pimps, and then there’s us, the succubi and the soldiers.”

“What about mortals?” I continued.

“And imps!” Todd added.

“Any creatures after our category are considered ‘non-divine’ and thus not worthy of being put on the chain.” Sia shrugged. “Though I can tell you that mortals are viewed as the absolute lowest being in existence.”

“Even lower than imps?” Todd asked with concern.

“Yes, Todd,” Sia chuckled, “even lower than imps.”

“Ha!” The imp giggled as he pointed at me. “In your face, mere mortal!”

“Except there’s nothing ‘mere’ about Jacob,” Cupi interrupted.

“If we were making our own Chain of Being, Jacob would be number one!” Liby smiled as she bounced up and down. “Don’t you agree, sister?”

Superia thought about it for a second, and then she smiled with a nod.

“I suppose,” she agreed as she locked her violet eyes with mine. “Now, back to your original question. After the Revolution, our new master--”

“That’s Satan, if you weren’t paying attention,” Todd’s voice reminded us.

“Thank you, Todd.” Sia sighed. “Our new master decided to organize us all by our rank on his new Chain of Being. He knighted his best generals and closest allies as the Kings and Queens of Hell, and then he let them figure out who they wanted under their command.”

“But who decided which demons got to be succubi and which ones got to be Dukes or pimps or madams?” I questioned.

The redhead looked over at the other succubi grimly. “You haven’t told him?”

Libidine bowed her head in shame. “It never came up in conversation, sister.”

“What never came up?” I demanded. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Jacob, succubi and other low-level demons are not like the others.” Sia’s eyes narrowed. “They are created by those higher up on the chain, made in the image of their first masters, before they are brought to life by Lucifer’s Hellfire. That is why a succubus and her master are so dependent on each other.”

“So you’re telling me that you can never be free, even if I were to snap my fingers and say that I never wanted to see you ever again?” I snapped to emphasize my point.

“You could send us away,” Libidine murmured, “but then we would have to find a new demon master.”

“And if you didn’t?” I asked even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.

“We die.” Cupi frowned.

“A succubus’ entire life force comes from their master, and the connection they make with him,” the madame explained. “Why do you think these girls’ grow more powerful as your connection becomes more intense?”

“But what about Cupi?” I questioned. “She’s a fallen angel.”

“I’m still a soldier,” the blonde butted in. “The only difference is that I was created in the image of one of the Divine rather than a demon.”

“I thought you said you and Lilith went back before the Revolution?” Todd now seemed completely lost.

“I’m a madame on par with the pimps of Hell,” Sia explained and pointed to the other succubi. “I existed long before either of these two did.”

Suddenly, my mind took me to a dark place.

“Sia,” I asked, “what happens if I die? Will Liby and Cupi survive?”

“We’re never going to find that out!” Cupiditas cut off the redhead before she could respond. “You are our master now, Jacob, and you’re the most badass, loving, and well-endowed guy we could ask for. We’re going to kill the rest of these demons, and we’ll kick the ass of anyone who stands in our way.”

“To Jacob!” Libidine raised a glass of milk into the air.

Sia, Cupi, and Todd all followed her lead.

“To Jacob!” they all said in unison.

“Geez,” I laughed. “I’m glad I can be such a source of inspiration.”

I glanced up at the clock and noticed that we had spent at least an hour in the dining area.

“We’d better get back to the room,” I said as I stood up from the table. “Checkout is at noon, and I still wanted to take a shower before we hit the road.”

“Ohhh!” Liby smiled. “Can we join you?”

“Is that even a question?” I chuckled. “I just found out that our fucking is part of what keeps you alive. I’m going to make sure we do it every chance we get.”

“I love the sound of that,” Cupi purred.

I stood up, tossed a few dollars on the table for whoever was going to clean up this mess, and then made my way to the main door.

The four of us stepped back out into the parking lot, and I was instantly reminded why air conditioning was so important. The heat from the sun was so intense that large waves of hot air danced across the black pavement and bounced up onto our legs. The sensation was enough to make me start sweating profusely in the two seconds I had been exposed.

We made our way back up to our room, threw open the door, and then piled in.

“How can humans live in an environment like this?” Sia panted.

“That’s nothing,” I said as I wiped sweat off my brow. “You should see how it gets in the middle of the summer.”

“What are you talking about?” Todd said as he turned visible once more. “Summer is the best time of the year. A crisp ninety-nine degrees is the perfect temperature to lay out on the deck and work on your tan, bro.”

“Ah yes, I remember those days.” I chuckled. “The Petermans next door didn’t appreciate that you always did it naked, though.”

“Hey, they knew what they were getting into.” Todd shrugged. “If they didn’t like what they saw, they shouldn’t have been checkin’ out the Toddster.”

“Their window was right across from our balcony,” I pointed out.

“No way, bro.” The imp shook his head. “Mrs. Peterman was always out there when I was. She wanted a piece of this sexy beast.”

“Was she a MILF too?” Libidine asked innocently.

“She was sixty years old, so…” I trailed off.

“The point still stands.” Todd wiggled his entire body in victory. “And that was with my old bod. She’d probably cream herself if she saw me now!”

“That’s a mental image I didn’t want or need to see today, or ever,” I gagged.

The imp snickered. “Welcome to my world, bro.”

Todd ran over to one of the beds, launched himself onto the white sheets, and then laid back on the pillow. He fumbled around on the nightstand beside the bed for the TV remote, and then he lit a joint with his red Hellfire powers.

“If you guys are gonna all get busy in the shower, then I’m just gonna wait here and watch some boob tube. I think Secrets of the Loch Ness is on right now,” he said with a relaxed tone.

“Let me just go make sure that thing is big enough for all four of us.” I winked at the succubi.

I tugged my shirt off over my head and tossed it over on our duffel bag. As I did so, I could hear the girls giggling and whispering away to each other. I kicked off my shoes and then made my way to our bathroom.

It may not have been the nicest amenities I’d ever seen, but the bathroom was far cleaner than it had any right to be. The white tile floors were somewhat worn and crumbling, but the perfectly soft red rugs that lined it more than made up for the state of decay. It was obvious that the shower hadn’t been replaced in years, but the owners had fancied it up with a chic red and white curtain.

Bless them for trying.

I walked over to the shower, threw back the curtain, and nearly had a heart attack.

Staring me back from inside the tub were two large, mascara-covered violet eyes. A short, dark-haired woman stood up from her crouching position as a sinister smile spread across her face. The demon woman was about the same size as Superbia and looked just as frail. Her breasts, on the other hand, had to be at least five times the size of the redheaded madame’s. She showed no shame as she stepped out from the lip of the tub, her large nipples and shaved slit bare for all to see.

“Who the fuck are you?” I demanded as I backed away and summoned red Hellfire into my hand.

“My name is Ira,” her deep voice retorted, “or at least, half of Ira.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I took a fighting stance.

The petite, dark-haired succubus seemed to ignore me as she tossed out her left arm, and one of her bones slid out from under her skin into her hand. She ran her other hand over the jagged radial bone, and an enchanted red whip sprouted from its end.

“Who’s ready for some punishment?” the succubus cooed. “I know I am.”

Chapter 12

“What’s the matter?” Ira mocked. “Cat got your tongue in a vice?”

“No,” I huffed. “I’m just thinking about how lame that little bone whip was when Earl used it.”

“This time you will see it used in the hands of a true master!” the dark-haired woman squealed as she lashed out at me with the whip.

I knocked the whip away with a small shield of purple flame, and it ricocheted into the bathroom mirror. Shards of glass sprayed across the tiny room, but I quickly cast an emerald spell to send the deadly projectiles away from me and back at my assailant.

The glass reappeared beside Ira, and the succubus dissolved a few of them with her own blast of red Hellfire. The remaining shards stabbed into the woman’s left arm, and she let out a moan of pure ecstasy.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” She smiled sadistically as she looked down at the glass sticking out of her arm. “Do it more. Please. Beat me like a naughty puppy.”

“Sister Ira.” I heard Sia’s voice say from behind me. “So nice of you to join us.”

“Stay out of this, sisters!” the succubus’ before me snarled as violet eyes grew wild. “This is between the mortal and me. I’m already saddened that you decided to betray our master, but please don’t make me kill you.”

“You’re not going to kill anybody.” Cupiditas laughed. “You’re Ira’s submissive half. Where is the rest of our sister?”

“She had other business to attend to,” Ira scoffed. “It’s actually better this way. Now I get to kill you and I get some fun foreplay out of it.”

Ira unleashed a blast of red Hellfire at me, but Cupiditas caught it with a time-freeze in midair. The evil succubus simply laughed and then summoned a turquoise flame into her left hand. She hurled the ball of fire at me, but I was tackled from behind before I could counteract her spell.

“That’s a new one,” Todd mumbled.

“Turquoise flame is sadism,” Cupi explained from directly on top of me. “Imagine thousands of tiny bugs eating away at your skin. That’s what would have happened had that connected.”

“Got it,” I said as I flung a snowball-sized blast of Hellfire at Ira.

The attack struck Ira in the chest and sent her flying back into the bathtub. She smashed into the wall, and the impact from her momentum was enough to shatter the fiberglass that ran all the way up the wall. The succubus grinned gleefully as she hopped back onto her feet.

“More, more! Use all your energy next time! I can take it. I want to take it.” Ira gave me a pleading look. “Please, I beg you. I’ve been very bad.” She lashed out with the whip once more, but Sia’s black flame caught the weapon before it could connect with anything. Sia yanked the tendril of fire back and pulled the bone whip along with it. The weapon flew across the room, well out of Ira’s reach, and into Todd’s waiting hands.

“Let’s see how you like a taste of your own medicine!” Todd cackled as he ran past me brandishing the whip in his hand.

“Light her up!” I yelled and unleashed another blast of Hellfire.

“Jacob, wait--” Cupi cried out in horror.

Just before our attack connected, Ira encased herself with a vibrant pink fire.

“Yeeow!” the imp screamed in pain the very moment the tail of the whip cracked into the succubus’ arm.

A second later, my fireball hit dead on target, and as it did, a violent force slammed into me and sent me flying back through the drywall of the motel room. As I laid on the ground, I looked down to see that my skin was charred, and my pants had been completely burned off.

“What the fuck just happened?” I moaned as I tried to shake off the effects of the attack.

“You must use caution when fighting with Sister Ira,” Sia warned as she ran over to me. “She is powerful with mirror spells.”

The redhead summoned golden flame into her hand and touched my chest. Her spell engulfed my entire body, and I was healed back to normal in seconds.

“Mirror spells?” I questioned as I stood to my feet.

I saw Cupiditas’ body get thrown back through the opening of the bathroom door. She simply shook it off and unleashed a beam of blue fire as she walked back toward her target.

“That’s what just happened to you and Todd,” the redhead explained. “Ira can counteract any attack and deflect it back at the caster with her magic. Think of it as turning herself into a life-sized voodoo doll. That’s why we’ve been trying to subdue her, not kill her.”

“Where the hell did she learn that?” I asked as I jogged back over into the action.

“She’s Wrath, Jacob.” Sia clicked her tongue. “It is a quite handy trick to know for her line of work.”

As I rounded the corner, Todd’s impish body flew past my head. I threw up a telekinetic green flame and caught him before he smashed into the wall.

“Oh, oh!” he exclaimed. “Fastball special?”

“Sure thing, bro.” I laughed.

I took a baseball stance, wound up like a pitcher, and tossed my emerald fist forward.

Todd curled up in a ball as his body flew directly toward Ira, who I could see was now grappling with Liby and Cupi. The imp’s cackle resonated throughout the motel room as he rocketed across the bathroom. At the last second, he opened up his body spread-eagle and landed on the succubus’ face.

She let out a blood-curdling scream as she stumbled backward.

“Get this disgusting thing off my face!” she yelled.

“Relax, babe.” Todd laughed as Ira clawed at his body. “It’s not going to suffocate you, I promise.”

Todd’s distraction was enough to give us an opening.

I turned and nodded to Liby, who threw a handful of her yellow Hellfire daggers in my direction. I cast a teleportation spell around the projectiles in mid-flight and sent them directly into Ira’s feet, pinning her to the ground.

Ira let out a muffled sound somewhere between a scream and a moan.

At the same time, Cupi and Sia both unleashed their freezing spells. The blue and black flames danced together as they intertwined to create a dark sapphire.

Todd lept off Ira’s face just as the attack collided with Ira’s body, and the succubus’ petite body went rigid.

“Keep holding her!” I commanded.

I felt the familiar throbbing of my horns, and I knew that it was time to summon my Divine powers to end this bitch once and for all. A brilliant white light surrounded my body, and I could feel my entire being burning with power.

“Jacob, your horns are double the size they used to be!” Sia observed without breaking her spell.

“I’m a grower, not a show-er.” I winked. “Release!”

All three of the succubi let go of their spells, and I sent a giant wave of white light at Ira.

Her eyes widened in terror, and she threw up a spray of turquoise flame to try to counter my spell. The entire bathroom was illuminated by a blinding light for a brief second, and then it returned to its normal state.

I could see that Ira’s counter spell had partially worked, because she was still alive. Of course, she also looked like she had just been run through a blender set to puree.

The succubus’ hair was completely burned off her body, and her mascara ran down her now-charred skin as she cried in pain. Chunks of her flesh were missing from her body, and her left arm was twisted in an awkward position and had a bone jutting out through the wrist. She let out a whimper of agony with each breath she took.

The five of us crowded into the bathroom and surrounded the succubus.

“That--” She coughed. “That was amazing!”

“It’s over, sister.” Sia nodded. “You put up a valiant fight.”

Ira’s violet eyes weakly glanced over at me and saw the giant hole in the crotch of my pants.

“Oh my god,” she gasped. “Please tell me you’re going to bludgeon me to death with that thing. It would be the best death ever.”

“We’re not going to kill you,” Sia reassured her.

“We’re not?” Todd asked in disbelief.

Superbia knelt down beside the charred woman and summoned golden fire into her hand. “Of course not,” she scoffed. “Sister Ira is an old friend of ours, and her dominant half is the most fearsome succubus warrior in Hell’s army. No offense, Cupiditas.”

“None taken.” The blonde shrugged. “Sister Ira is pretty damn terrifying.”

“So we’re just going to heal her up and let her go?” Todd asked. “That sounds no bueno.”

“That’s exactly what we are going to do, Todd,” Sia said with a sigh. “I know you are running on adrenaline right now, but you have to trust me on this.”

“What do you think, Jacob?” Libidine asked. “We will do whatever you decide is right.”

“I think we should fry this bitch like chicken giblets!” Todd exclaimed before I could respond to Liby.

“Chicken giblets?” I asked.

“Yeah bro,” Todd confirmed. “What do you think chicken nuggets are made out of? That shit’s delicious.”

“We’re not going to murder her.” I shook my head back and forth. “Why is this even a question? Let her go free.”

“Wait.” Cupi grabbed the redhead’s hand by the wrist before Sia could touch Ira. “How did you know where to find us, sister?”

“I have my sources,” she said with a surprisingly content chuckle. “Heal me, and I’ll tell you.”

Cupi released her madame’s hand, and Sia passed her glowing fire over Ira’s wounds. As she did so, the melted flesh molded back into its regular shape and returned to its original peach skin tone. Once the petite, black-haired succubus had been healed, Sia released her spell and stood back up.

I reached down toward Ira, and she cautiously accepted my hand. I pulled her back to her feet, but then she took a few steps back in caution.

“I appreciate what you did for me today,” she confessed “especially the rough foreplay.” She raised a finger. “But this changes nothing. I am still loyal to the King of the Fourth Circle as is my dominant half. The next time we meet, you’ll get to feel her wrath.”

“What about your promise just now?” Cupi reminded the succubus.

A sly smile slid up Ira’s face. “Very well. I’ll give you a hint.”

The dark-haired succubus quickly summoned a ball of turquoise flames into both of her hand. She hurled one of the fireballs at me, and the other found its mark on the ground below.

I was able to throw up my purple barrier to block the attack, but I quickly realized it wasn’t aimed at me at all. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ira’s dark hair as it fell through the newly made hole in the floor.

The five of us ran over and peered into the opening.

We could see into the bedroom area of the room below us. On disheveled white sheets sat a bunch of older-looking books and a familiar goat-headed dagger. On the coat rack sat one of the navy blue robes that Azazel’s followers were known for wearing.

One of these fuckers had been watching us.

I heard the clomping of footsteps below us, followed by the slamming of a door.

“Oh no, you don’t, asshole.” I spat as I ran toward the main area of our room. I threw open the door and saw a scruffy-looking blond man making a break for it across the parking lot.

“Wait, Jakey!” Todd’s disembodied voice warned as I stepped out onto the main balcony. “People will see your magic.”

“Mortals can’t see the telekinetic flames, remember?” I explained as I reached out my right arm.

“That’s why we pay you the big bucks, bossman.”

I summoned emerald fire into my hands and then blasted it across the pavement. It struck the man in mid-stride, and he was halted in his tracks by my spell. Before he could mount any sort of counter-spell, I threw up my other hand, encased the side of the dining building with another spell and collapsed it down onto the fucker’s head.

The cultist let out a scream, but it was quickly muffled by the debris that covered his body.

A few good Samaritans who must have been enjoying their breakfast ran out to help, but it was no use. Try as they might, they couldn’t lift the debris off the cultist, at least as long as my spell was holding the debris down on this asshole until he suffocated.

“Where did the submissive chick go?” Todd asked from behind me.

“Oh, I’m sure Sister Ira is long gone,” Sia answered. “It doesn’t matter, as our promise was to let her go.”

“You know, if I was into demons--” the imp started.

“I’m not even going to let you finish that,” Cupi’s voice cut him off.

I continued to hold my spell for about six or seven more minutes as I pretended to be mortified by the accident.

The entire time, I could see people staying at the motel either peeking out their window with morbid curiosity or trying in vain to pull the debris off the man. When I finally let up, they looked shocked that the rubble could finally be moved.

They cleared the pile off the blond cultist, and one of the guests started to give him mouth-to-mouth.

“He’s not coming back from that,” I said grimly and then turned back to my friends. “Come on guys, let’s grab our stuff and get out of here before the cops arrive. It’s gonna be hard to explain all the broken stuff in our room.”

“And all the cult shit they’ll find in that guy’s room,” Todd added.

I nodded. “Thankfully, we’re far enough out in the middle of nowhere that it’s going to take a while for the police to get out here.”

“You did use an alias, correct?” Sia questioned.

“Of course,” I confirmed with a wink. “Although I think I need to start using a different name. People are going to start turning away Marcus Pearson after all the crazy shit that follows him.”

“You could always go with ‘Big Dick Johnson,’” Todd’s voice suggested. “That’s my go-to.”

“I don’t--”

“Or Sexdragon69,” Todd added. “That’s my gamer tag.”

“Todd--”

“Oh, I’ve got it!” he cackled. “Michael Hunt, but you always go by the name ‘Mike.’”

“Mike Hunt?” Libidine asked curiously. “What’s so funny about Mike Hunt?”

“You tell me, sister!” Todd cackled furiously.

“If we’re through with the comedy routine, we need to get going.” Sia shook her head and laughed. “We still have a long drive ahead of us.”

As we walked back into the room of the motel, I couldn’t help but think back to Ira. If all the other succubi in the Circle of Sin were as tough as her, we were gonna have our work cut out for us.

Chapter 13

“I’m discovering more and more by the minute why these girls love to be around you, Jacob,” Sia’s voice cooed from the back seat of our Jeep. “It seems like there is never a single dull moment when in your company.”

“That’s nothing new for us, is it, Jakey?” Todd giggled. “We were the life of the party long before we went all demonic and red.”

“If by ‘life of the party,’ you mean ‘always working and barely having enough to live off,’ then sure,” I answered before I let out a chuckle.

“Don’t be so modest, bro.” Todd puffed at his joint. “Once you let go of everything and realize just how awesome you are, life gets ten times better. That’s how I’ve always lived my life. One quarter mile at a time.”

“Pretty sure Vin Diesel said that in Fast and Furious,” I pointed out.

“He got it from me,” Todd said with a knowing smile.

“Remember how you were donating plasma to pay the rent,” I reminded him.

“Meh, who needs plasma?” He shrugged and blew a mouthful of smoke out the window. “I made it work, and I had fun doing it. That’s all that matters in life.”

“The Tao of Todd.” I shook my head back and forth and laughed. “We should write a book about it someday.”

“Bro, I’m not sure if the world is ready for that,” the imp said with a grin.

We had made a hasty exit from the cheap motel. Without even stopping to think, we had grabbed our few belongings and tossed them into the back of the Jeep before we peeled out of the place. As we hit the road, I looked in my rear-view mirror and noticed a couple of squad cars off in the distance. We’d left right in the nick of time.

A little while later, I looked at the clock on the dashboard and rubbed my eyes.

“Have we really been on the road for six hours?” I couldn’t believe it had been that long since we’d left the motel.

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Libidine purred. “And how much more fun could you ask for than being in a car with three beautiful women?”

“And your best friend in the whole world,” Todd added.

I chuckled. “But Todd, you’ve been baked this whole time.”

The imp placed his small hand over his heart. “Guilty as charged.”

“And you three have been sleeping for most of the trip.” I glared playfully back at the three succubi. “I have had some quality bonding time with Todd’s mix CD, though.”

“Still bummed that Shadow doesn’t have a tape player,” the imp said sadly.

“What can I say?” Cupi tried to bring us back on topic. “You take a lot out of us.”

“I have a thought.” I looked at the Jeep’s built-in GPS. “We’re less than two hours away from San Francisco right now, and I’m really fucking tired of driving. How about we stop off somewhere, take a little break, and try to unwind?”

“Brrroooo!” Todd started jumping up and down in the seat beside me. “We should totally go to Disneyland! You can’t come to California and not to go Disneyland!”

“What is that?” Libidine asked excitedly. “It sounds fun.”

“It’s only the happiest place on Earth!” the imp explained. “They have all these cool rides and incredible food and shit. But the best part is, you can meet all the cartoon characters you idolized as a kid!”

“So it’s a religious place where you go to worship your idols?” Sia asked in an unconvinced tone.

“Nonono, Strawberry Shortcake.” Todd snickered. “It’s a fucking theme park, and one of the best ones in the world!”

“I hate to put a damper on your parade,” I said as I glanced over at the imp, “but Anaheim is all the way back by LA.”

“Wha-- We missed it?” Todd hung his head in disappointment.

Libidine reached up and patted the sad imp between his horns. “Maybe we can go the next time we’re out there. Surely there will be more demons to kill in that area.”

“Oh, there are hundreds according to that list of ours.” I chuckled as I fiddled with the GPS. “Say… We’re right by Santa Cruz. How about we hit up the Beach Boardwalk?”

“Does it have roller coasters?” Todd perked up.

“It’s got roller coasters, hot dog vendors, a beach, an arcade--”

“Say no more.” Todd placed his tiny hand over my mouth. “We’re totally going.”

“What do you say, guys?” I asked the women in the back.

“If it has a beach, I’m in.” Cupi smiled.

“I want to ride the rollercoaster!” Libidine added.

“What about you, Sia?” I locked eyes with the redhead through the mirror.

“I am not very familiar with any of the things you mentioned.” She shrugged. “But if Todd is excited, then of course I want to go.”

“Have I mentioned you’re my favorite?” Todd  voiced with longing to the madame.

We drove for a few miles more until we came up to an exit labeled “Beach Boardwalk,” and then I turned our jet-black Jeep off the highway. As we got closer to our destination, the surrounding area started to appear less like your typical California town and became more like a quaint little tourist town. There were nice-looking shops on every street, but they felt much more “mom & pop” than something like downtown LA or Phoenix.

Finally, I pulled Shadow into a small parking lot a few blocks from the boardwalk. We drove around the lot at least four times, but there was not a single empty spot to be found.

“Well, shit,” I huffed as I began to circle once more. “This is the cheapest lot around.”

“Can’t you just teleport one of the cars away and take their spot?” Superbia asked.

I sighed. “I could, but that’s not exactly the right thing to do.”

“Come now, Jacob.” The redhead chuckled. “It’s fun to be bad every now and again. Isn’t it, girls?”

“What about that one?” Todd pointed to a silver Corvette that was catty-cornered between the edges of two parking spaces. “He’s taking up two spaces with all his shit, and there’s a ticket on his window. Whoever’s car that is has long overstayed their welcome.”

“You’d be doing the local law enforcement a favor,” Cupi added her two cents into the conversation.

“Yeah,” Todd nodded in agreement. “If you don’t do something, they’re gonna have to pay for a tow truck to come and haul it out, the owner will get super shitty with the management, and then the place will get a bad review. We don’t want that, do we?”

He had a point. Whoever drove this car seemed like a douche.

“I guess you’re right.” I chuckled and stopped the vehicle just behind the silver corvette. “Is anybody watching?”

“Bro, this is California,” Todd reassured me. “You could walk around in a hockey mask with a chainsaw, and people probably wouldn’t even say a word. If worse comes to worst, we can just claim we’re street magicians or some shit like that.”

I closed my eyes and thought about what the owner of this car must have been like in real life. He drove a fancy car, didn’t care to respect the space of others, and refused to even come back and check on his meter. I could just picture them out there, lounging on the beach, thinking that the rules didn’t apply to them and how there would be no repercussions for their actions.

Both of my hands lit up with a brilliant emerald fire, and I indicated for Todd to roll down his window. The second the glass pane was out of my way, I clapped my hands together and blasted the corvette with my Hellfire.

The dancing flames reflected off the car’s shiny body as it engulfed the vehicle. It floated a few inches off the ground, and then I snapped my fingers and sent it onto the sidewalk just outside the perimeter of the parking lot.

My stomach dropped a bit, but moving the sports car a few dozen feet had been way easier than transporting Shadow almost a quarter of a mile.

“Hey look, there are two spaces right there!” Todd cackled and then turned invisible.

I pulled Shadow into the now open spot, and the five of us hopped out onto the pavement. Then I took note of the number at the front of our space as I plunked a few bills into the meter.

“What do you want to do first?” I asked happily.

“I want to hit the beach!” Cupi exclaimed.

“That sounds very pleasant,” Sia agreed.

“The beach it is, then.” I finished punching the numbers and then turned to face my friends. “But if we’re going to do that, we need to buy you guys some swimsuits.”

“Swimsuits?” Sia looked horrified. “Why can’t we just take off our clothes and get in the water?”

I raised my finger to start to explain, but Cupiditas cut me off.

“I can explain this one.” The blonde rolled her eyes. “As you may already know, humans are prudes. They don’t want you to be naked unless you’re ‘in private.’”

“But why on Earth would you want to wear clothing if you’re just going to get it wet?” Sia couldn’t wrap her mind around the concept.

“I know,” Libidine pouted. “It’s terrible that we can’t just get naked whenever we want. We’ve got it, we may as well flaunt it!”

“I know it’s a bummer, but it’s how things work here.” I shrugged. “Although I think the bikinis they sell here are skimpier than what you’re wearing right now, Sia.”

“Wonderful!” the redhead bubbled.

“Hey Jakey,” Todd said as he tugged on my pant leg. “Since I’m already au naturale and invisible, I think I’m just gonna go hit the beach by myself.”

“Just don’t get into too much trouble.” I pointed my finger in the general direction of Todd’s voice.

“Moi?” The imp sounded hurt. “Get into trouble? Never!”

Todd let out a mischievous giggle as he ran toward the beach, and miniature hoofprints appeared in the sand behind him.

The succubi and I began to walk down the boardwalk, and the girls marveled at all the sounds and sights. Not far from where we parked was a small shop that carried all sorts of beach attire and novelties.

“This looks like as good a place as any,” I said as I opened the door for the girls.

The inside of the store seemed to be designed in the modern chic style, with lots of dark grays, whites, and hardwood floors. The store wasn’t very full. A few surfer-looking dudes with black shirts and name tags were folding clothes at the racks, and a few bikini and trunk-clad tourists walked around chatting as they looked at products.

I pointed back at the wall of swimwear, and I could see the succubi’s eyes light up.

“You can pick out whichever one you want.” I smiled. “Robert Quinn’s treat.”

All three of the women squealed with glee and then dashed back to browse the bikinis.

As I walked back to meet them, a pair of swim trunks caught my eye. There, on the rack, was a pair of red shorts that were covered with tiny faces of the devil.

This was too good to pass up.

I momentarily stopped to leaf through the rack and find my size, but then I continued back to where the succubi were headed. When I found the girls, they each had an armful of swimsuits. It didn’t look like there was any rhyme or reason to what they were picking out, but I could tell that they were going after the teeniest, skimpiest outfits they could find.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Now remember--” I started to explain.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cupi said with a wave of her hand. “We’ll be sure to use the dressing rooms.”

The succubi stood around holding up different swimsuits to their bodies for another ten minutes or so, and I started to think back to when my exes used to force me to go shopping with them. Only this time was different. Instead of wanting to slit my wrists or go home to play video games, I watched these women with bated breath. They were all so beautiful, and so happy to be alive. I wouldn’t have minded if they tried on every bathing suit in the entire store.

Once the girls had narrowed it down to a handful of outfits, they ran off into the changing rooms to try on their selections.

Sia was the first one to emerge from the dressing rooms, and my jaw nearly hit the floor when I saw what she had picked out.

The redheaded madame wore a two piece orange bikini that left nothing to the imagination. Her top was made up of two pieces of fabric that couldn’t have been more than a few inches wide, and the very edges of her pinkish areolas poked out from behind them. The teeny tiny top was held up by a piece of string that wrapped around her delicate neck and then around her petite chest.

“Do you like it?” she purred when she saw me standing there speechless. “I could give you a little twirl if you’d like.”

I couldn’t find the words to say what I wanted, so I simply nodded at the succubus.

Sia turned around, and I realized that her bottoms were just as skimpy as her top. Her crotch was completely covered by the orange fabric, but it did little to conceal her tight ass. The back of her swimsuit was so thin that it almost looked like she was wearing a thong, and I couldn’t help but ogle at the redhead.

“It’s quite fitting, isn’t it?” She giggled.

“If you like hers, then you’re definitely going to love mine,” Cupiditas cooed as she stepped out of the dressing room.

She wasn’t wrong.

Cupi wore a pure white bandeau top with a matching bikini bottom. Though her suit wasn’t quite as skimpy as Sia’s, I knew that once she was wet, the color would leave nothing to the imagination. Even now, her perky nipples poked out from beneath the fabric, begging to be freed.

“Still going with the colors of the Divine?” the madame clicked her tongue. “I thought I had got you away from all that.”

“I just like the colors.” The blonde shrugged and then looked down hungrily. “It looks like Jacob does, too.”

“Yep.” I couldn’t even think straight at this point.

“Lucky for you, I saved the best for last!” Libidine’s voice called out happily.

The curvy succubus stepped out into the main area of the store and bounced around happily. Unlike her sisters, she wore a one-piece bathing suit, but this was like no one-piece I’d ever seen. The crotch of the suit was only an inch or two thick, and Liby’s lips threatened to fall out from beneath the black fabric. Her breasts were held in place by two straps that were just thick enough to cover her nipples, but the rest of her massive breasts were out there for the whole world to see.

“I know it’s a little more modest than I’d like,” she said with a disappointed tone, “but it’s the only one that would hold these puppies. All the two-pieces kept falling off.”

“It looks fantastic.” I grinned as I stared at the three sexy women in front of me.

“So, what did you pick out?” the curvy succubus asked excitedly. “Hopefully something with longer legs.”

“I’m glad you asked,” I chuckled and held up the devil-shorts for them to see. “I got a pair of trunks with your boss’ face on them.”

“Wow.” Cupi shook her head as the smile faded from her face.

All three of the succubi showed looks of disapproval at my fashion choice.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned. “I thought it’d be funny.”

Sia sighed. “That’s a horrible, racist caricature of our species.”

“You’ve seen one demon and you’ve seen them all, I guess,” Cupi huffed. “Look at this guy. Is this what everybody thinks of us?”

“Guys,” I said as I tried to calm them down, “this looks awfully similar to Azazel and Todd. I just thought--”

“That every single demon looks exactly the same?” The blonde woman crossed her arms and shot me a disapproving glare. “You’re just digging yourself deeper and deeper.”

“What? I don’t--” I sputtered.

As I stood there and tried to make sense of the situation, all three of the succubi burst into laughter.

“You should see the look on your face!” Cupi giggled and doubled over. “You really thought we were upset about some stupid cartoon on your shorts!”

“That was an excellent prank, Cupiditas.” Sia giggled.

“I think Todd is starting to rub off onto us.” Liby smiled.

“Uh, I think you mean ‘rub off on us,’” I corrected. “Rubbing off onto us is something completely different.”

“Oh,” Cupi raised her hand, “is that what I wanted you to do to me back at the Excalibur?”

“Exactly that,” I confirmed.

The blonde’s face contorted into a look of disgust, and she slapped Liby on the arm.

“Don’t use that phrase when referring to Todd,” she demanded. “Ever.”

I smiled as Liby looked properly chastised. “Now, hang tight,” I said to the girls as I walked over to the men’s side of the dressing room. “I’m gonna change real quick, and then we can pay and leave.”

“Hang tight?” Cupi snickered. “That’s hard to do with your massive cock.”

“It’s a figure of speech,” I called back as I entered into the single-stalled changing room.

It didn’t take me long to change out of my pants and into my swimsuit. My good pair of jeans was destroyed during our fight back at the motel, so now I was wearing a pair of old black sweatpants. In one motion, I slid off both my pants and my boxer shorts, and then I tugged the devil trunks up around my waist. Finally, I pulled off my shirt and wadded it up with my other discarded clothes.

As I exited the changing room, clothes still in hand, I heard playful whistles. The succubi made a mixture of purrs, coos, whistles, and tiger noises as I jokingly did a model walk to show off my attire.

“Those look handsome on you,” Sia giggled, “maybe even devilishly handsome?”

Libidine laughed. “A good attempt at humor, sister, but maybe ease up on the wordplay.”

“‘Phrasing,’ as Jacob likes to call it,” Cupi added with air quotes.

The four of us walked up to the main counter with our old clothes still in hand. The cashier at the check-out was a younger-looking teenage boy, and his eyes bulged when he saw the three succubi in their bathing suits.

“Is that-- Uh, is that all for you today?” he stuttered as he reached out for the clothes in my hand, and his face started to turn red.

“Oh no,” I corrected the boy. “We’re wearing the stuff we’re buying. These are our old clothes.”

“Wow,” he said in disbelief. “I didn’t think anything we had in this store could look like that!”

Libidine leaned down over the counter, and her massive breasts were now barely being held in place by the tiny strings of fabric.

“Thank you for the compliment.” The curvy woman smiled. “I didn’t know they could look this good, either. I always thought one-pieces were for prudes.”

Any sense of subtlety was now completely out the window, and the boy stared directly at Liby’s cleavage.

I pulled out one of Robert Quinn’s credit cards and slid it across the counter. The kid wasn’t paying attention, and I didn’t really blame him. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I had to clear my throat to get the cashier’s attention.

“I’m sorry!” he fumbled at the cash register. “Will that be debit or credit?”

“Credit,” I confirmed and then turned to the succubi. “How about you guys go grab us a spot on the beach while I’m finishing up here? This place is probably gonna get packed really soon.”

Sia nodded, turned, and then pointed in the direction of the main beach. “Follow me, girls!” she exclaimed, and then she bounded away.

The other two succubi giggled as they chased after their new objective.

“I have to ask you, man,” the cashier said with a whistle. “How do you get hot chicks like that to swoon over you?”

“Honestly?” I chuckled. “The occult arts.”

There was no point in lying to this kid. Besides, what was he gonna do?

“The what?” he asked as he handed my small plastic card back to me.

“The occult arts,” I repeated. “Those three women were succubi, or crazy horny demon women. I summoned them, and my life has been incredible ever since.”

“Seriously?” The teenager sounded skeptical.

“Cross my heart.” I made a zigzag motion over my chest. “You should look into it. All the information you could ever want is out there on the internet.”

“Thanks, sir!” The teen smiled as I turned to exit. “Maybe someday I can have a whole trio of hot women like you do.”

“Hopefully not just like mine.” I chuckled and turned to leave.

Of course, I hadn’t told the kid the full truth. I hadn’t told him that it took one of Todd’s rare Vatican books to find the right spell, and I hadn’t told him of all the crazy shit that came afterward. Still, at least he now had some hope that he could score with some beautiful women like Cupi and Liby and Sia someday.

Although after seeing them in their bikinis, I don’t know if there could be any other women in the entire world that were as beautiful as those three.

When I arrived at the beach area of the Beach Boardwalk, I saw the three girls comfortably spread out on a couple of lounge chairs. Even though there seemed to be hundreds of people here today, there was nobody within a hundred feet of the succubi in any direction.

“Where is everybody?” I asked as I approached the girls.

“Cupiditas took care of them,” Sia explained. “It was quite the spectacle.”

“She threatened to cut some guy’s balls off if he so much as looked at us the wrong way!” Libidine giggled.

“What can I say?” Cupi was laying on the chair with her eyes closed. “A succubus needs her beauty sleep.”

“You didn’t do anything that could get us in trouble, did you?” I looked around nervously.

“Of course not,” the blonde assured. “I just threatened people. I didn’t actually hurt them or anything.”

“Oh, you just threatened them,” I said sarcastically. “That’s much better.”

“It really is, bro.” Todd’s voice came out of nowhere and caused me to jump. “Now we got this entire part of the beach to ourselves!”

“Get tired of creeping on the babes?” I asked in the direction of the imp’s voice.

He chuckled. “Eh, more like I ran out of fluids in my body.”

“I really didn’t need to know--”

“A couple of the people saw it happen, but they all just assumed it was seagull shit,” he continued.

“Todd!” I cut him off. “If you don’t stop talking right now, I’m going to barf all over this beach.”

“Fair enough.” The imp’s disembodied voice giggled. “I’m gonna go get high in the ocean.”

I watched as the hoofprints in the sand headed down to the water. Seconds later there was a puff of red Hellfire, and a trail of smoke rose from where the imp was standing.

There was a fourth lounge chair between Cupi and Liby that was empty, and the succubi eagerly motioned for me to join them.

I eased myself down onto the chair, leaned back, and let out a sigh of relief as I took in the beautiful California sunshine.

We’d definitely earned this.

Chapter 14

We continued to lounge by the beach for hour after glorious hour. Each of us had our own lounge chair, and Todd had joined us by constructing his own makeshift bed out of a pile of sand. The five of us basked in the sunlight, only getting up occasionally to stretch or to shoo away a seagull that thought we were an inanimate object to perch on.

Then I felt that dull, warm, irritating sensation on my skin.

“Ah shit,” I mumbled as I sat up. “I need to reapply my sunscreen. I’m gonna look like a lobster for days.”

“Relax, Jakey,” Todd’s voice said from his sandy throne. “I grabbed some of that stuff while you guys were off playing dress up.”

“Oh thank God,” I sighed. “Can I borrow some?”

A bottle seemed to appear out of thin air next to the imp’s location, and I plucked it out of Todd’s grasp.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” I said as I squirted some of the liquid onto my arm and began to rub it in. “Where the hell do you keep all your items? It’s not like you wear pants.”

“In my butt,” he answered nonchalantly. “No homo, though.”

“In-- No…” I felt the color drain from my face as I looked at the bottle in absolute horror.

“I’m just fucking with you, bro!” Todd cackled maniacally. “I have pockets in my skin. It was one of the things I specifically asked for in my contract.”

“Huh.” I mused as I moved down to my legs with the sunscreen.

“He was very specific with that contract,” Cupi added. “Like, he asked for things that I didn’t even know the human mind could cook up.”

“But if I hadn’t done that, then you dudettes never would have met Jacob and I would have never gotten this rockin’ bod,” the imp laughed.

“Hey Cupi,” I asked the blonde succubus. “Since you’re awake, would you mind getting my back?”

A raised eyebrow from the athletic woman told me that I was going to need to explain.

“Could you rub sunscreen on my back?” I asked. “I can’t reach it by myself, and I’m not going to ask Todd to do it.”

“No homo.” Todd clicked his tongue.

“See?” I chuckled.

“Why don’t you just use your green fire?” Cupi questioned. “It wouldn’t take much of a spell.”

I held out the lotion bottle. “Maybe I just want a woman’s touch?”

“Fine.” Cupi’s violet eyes lit up playfully as she swiped the bottle. “But for the record, I was enjoying my nap.”

The succubus squirted a handful of sunscreen into her left palm, set the bottle down in the sand, and then rubbed her hands together to distribute the cream equally. She made a twirling motion with her right hand, and I turned my back to the woman.

The sunscreen felt much colder on my back than it had on my arms and legs, and the sensation sent a small chill down my spine. The feeling of Cupi’s hands, however, instantly quelled that sensation. I let out a tiny groan of pleasure as the succubus ran her warm, slender fingers between my shoulderblades. She moved down to my lower back and then began to massage near my lumbar.

“You’ve got a lot of tension down here,” Cupi whistled.

“It’s not like I have any sort of stress in my life,” I joked.

The blonde kept rubbing the kinks out of my back as she applied the sunscreen, and her actions put me in a state of bliss.

I turned around, placed my hands on the blonde’s face, and pulled her lips against mine.

Our tongues danced around in each other’s mouths for at least two minutes, but it felt like it was over in an instant.

“I really wish we weren’t out in public right now.” I smiled as I caressed Cupi’s sharp cheek.

“I, for one, am very glad we are,” Todd proclaimed.

“I see that Cupiditas is trying to get some alone time with Jacob while we sleep,” Sia yawned and sat up in her chair.

“Such a greedy girl,” Liby joked as she sat up and ran her hand along the blonde’s shoulder tenderly.

Cupi just shrugged. “You snooze, you lose. Literally, in this case.”

“I’m getting bored, bro.” Todd complained. “I can only sit on the beach and smoke weed for so long.”

“That sounds like every stoner’s dream come true,” I chuckled.

“Not this stoner,” Todd’s voice corrected. “The Toddster likes a bit more variety in his life. That’s why I never beat it to the same video twice.”

“What are you suggesting, then?” I asked the imp. “Hopefully not anything like that.”

“Nah, I’m all good.” The imp laughed. “I did that earlier, remember? I was thinking more along the lines of getting some grub and going on some rides.”

“I’m with Todd,” Liby patted her stomach. “I could eat a horse right now.”

“That’s not just an expression.” Sia said with a straight face. “I have literally seen Libidine eat a horse before.”

“Those were some desperate days…” the dark-haired woman trailed off.

“Fear not, bro and dudettes,” Todd interrupted. “I saw a gourmet hot dog place just up the boardwalk, right next to the swinging ride. You can’t have the true ‘vintage amusement park’ experience until you buy a frankfurter slathered with all the goods!”

“So it’s settled, then.” I addressed the group. “Let’s go get some hot dogs.”

The five of us began to wander away from the beach and into the amusement park area of the boardwalk. As we walked, the sand underneath our feet was replaced with the solid foundation of concrete. The hot dog stand that Todd had been talking about was only a block or two from where we had been lounging, so we got there in no time at all.

Though it seemed to be a fairly busy day at the boardwalk, there were only a handful of people lined up in front of the white and red food stand. A large, plastic hot dog dangled above the line and was inscribed with the restaurant’s name, Barnacle Bill’s. For some added flair, two giant plastic ears of corn on a stick jutted out at an angle on each side of the sign.

“Please tell me that’s the size of the actual food.” Libidine placed her hand over her stomach and pointed to the large hot dog. “If not, I’m going to order like ten different things.”

“I’m with you, Liby,” Todd’s voice agreed. “The Toddster’s hunger knows no limits.”

“What is good here, Jacob?” Sia asked as we got in line.

“Honestly, I don’t know.” I shrugged. “This is the first time I’ve ever been here. But a hot dog and corn on a stick sounds mighty fine right about now.”

“I’ll follow your lead.” The redhead nodded.

“We’re ordering a snack, sister.” Cupi chuckled. “Not going into battle.”

“I trust Jacob’s instincts,” Sia shot back. “It’s what’s gotten us through so far. If his intuition is effective on the battlefield, then I’m sure it is top-notch when it comes to something as simple as diet choice.”

“Strawberry Shortcake,” Todd chuckled. “You can never, ever go wrong with a good ‘ol fashioned chili dog.”

“Sure you can,” I reminded the imp. “That one you got from the cart in our neighborhood gave you the squirts for weeks.”

“Good point, bro,” Todd pondered. “I remember that. Our bathroom looked like a warzone every time I was through with it. On second thought, maybe you should just go for the Chicago-style.”

“So, do we all know what we want?” I asked.

“I’ve known since we got here, bro,” Todd laughed.

“I’m getting whatever Jacob is getting.” Cupi shrugged.

“I think, against my better judgement, I’m going to trust Todd and go with the ‘Chicago-style’ he was talking about.” Sia nodded.

Libidine’s violet eyes wandered over all the menu options. “I seriously think I want one of everything.”

The person in line ahead of us grabbed their food and stepped out of the way, and it was finally our turn to order. We were greeted at the counter by a middle-aged man with a burly mustache who wore a bright white and black uniform.

“Welcome to Barnacle Bill’s.” The man smiled happily. “What can I get you folks today?”

“Okay, so I think we want three Chicago-style dogs, three plain dogs, a corn dog, five orders of corn on a stick, and the bucket of french fries,” I explained.

“Bro, don’t you dare forget that Louisiana Hot Link,” Todd reminded me with a pat on my calf.

“Ah, and one Louisiana Hot Link,” I added.

“Make that two!” Liby begged.

“Fine, two Hot Links,” I corrected.

“And drinks,” Todd continued. “How can we possibly eat all this shit without something to drink?”

“Five sodas, as well.” The man tapped away at his register as the order continued to pile up.

“Alright,” our server said as he ran his eyes back across the screen. “That’s all comes out to ninety-seven sixty.”

“I’m gonna take one of the girls and go grab a spot, Jakey,” Todd’s voice muttered. “I want front-row seats to see if any of these people hurl on the Fireball!”

“I’ll go.” Cupiditas nodded. “I definitely don’t want to miss that.”

As Cupi walked away, the man behind the counter made no effort to hide the fact that he was staring at her ass. He finally turned his attention back to Sia, Liby, and I, and a wide grin spread across his face.

“I’ve gotta ask,” he chuckled gleefully. “Where are you guys from? I’ve seen some real beauties in all my years working here, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a group that could rock a bikini the way you girls do.”

“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Sia joked. “It’s a pretty foul place.”

“I’ve been to Jersey before, sweetie,” the mustached man cackled.

“Oh, this place makes Jersey look like paradise on Earth,” I joked back as I reached into my pocket for my wallet.

The man held up a chunky hand. “Don’t worry about it, son. You guys have totally made my week, so this one’s on the house. It’s not every day that you see a California twelve!”

“That’s a huge compliment to you guys,” I explained to the succubi. “California ten is considered the sexiest a woman can be.”

“You’re too kind, sir.” Sia batted her eyes at the cashier.

“Beautiful and polite.” He shook his head and chuckled. “You’re a lucky man, you know.”

“Trust me,” I reassured the server. “I realize just how lucky I am every single day I wake up.”

“If you all wanna go fill your drinks and take a seat, I’ll bring out your order when it’s ready.” The man smiled at us.

“Thank you very much!” I nodded as I scooped up the stack of cups the cashier had placed on the counter.

The two succubi and I walked over to the drink machine that was built into the side of the stand. Sia and Liby mulled over the many options, but I went straight for the tried-and-true cola.

A gurgling spray of brownish-black liquid shot out of the machine as I pressed my cup against the silver lever, and my cup nearly overflowed from the fizz it produced.

“There are so many options here on Earth,” Sia pondered as she continued to look over the varieties of soda. “Back in Hell we are only given coffee, if anything at all.”

“Why coffee?” I asked as I filled a second cup with root beer for Todd.

“It kept us awake,” Libidine butted in. “We were busy girls before you freed us, remember?”

“I think I might want to try this one.” The petite redhead tapped the lemonade dispenser. “What about you, Libidine?”

“This ‘Citrus Soda’ sounds like it might be good.” Liby shrugged and then put her cup up to the dispenser.

“What about for Cupiditas?” Sia asked.

“I don’t know what you both think, but I see Cupi as more of a Dr. Pepper kinda girl,” I laughed. “Don’t ask me why.”

We finished filling up our cups, and then we walked over to the small cluster of tables that acted as the dining area for this section of the boardwalk.

Cupi and Todd had already found a spot at one of the concrete tables, the kind that had four attached legs and a shade umbrella that poked out through the middle. It looked like the imp was having a good time because as we approached the rainbow-colored umbrella was opening and closing on its own. Whenever some innocent bystander would walk past, the umbrella was tossed open by an unseen force and caused them to jump in surprise. Todd was giggling when the three of us finally sat down on the concrete benches with our drinks.

“I think that guy just shit himself,” he cackled.

“What did I say about keeping a low profile?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Nobody can see me,” he retorted. “That’s about as low profile as you can get, bro.”

“Said the disembodied voice from out of nowhere,” I laughed as I stuck out the red-and-white striped cups to Cupi and Todd. “Root Beer for the Toddster, and Dr. Pepper for the sexy blonde.”

“Dr. Pepper?” the woman asked cautiously. “What part of the doctor am I drinking?”

“It looked somewhat red when it was pouring.” Sia shrugged. “Maybe it’s his blood?”

“Of course not.” Libidine interrupted. “It was more brownish. Maybe it’s his ground-up organs?”

“I’m not gonna stop this conversation if you’re not,” Todd whispered to me.

“It’s sugar syrup.” I shook my head and chuckled. “Try it, it’s delicious.”

The fit succubus looked down at her cup, unconvinced.

“Oh please, Cupi,” Liby giggled. “You’ve drunk much worse things before. Both on and off the clock.”

Cupiditas raised the drink up to her mouth and wrapped her thin lips around the straw. Instead of taking a sip, she threw back her head and tilted the cup back with it. Before I had a chance to warn her, the sudden weight of the liquid smashed into the lid and knocked it loose. A syrupy wave of soda spilled out all over the succubus’ body, and she squealed in surprise.

“Uhg, now I’m all sticky.” Cupi pouted as she wiped off some of the liquid with her hand.

“Never seemed to stop you before,” Liby joked.

“Come on, guys,” Todd snickered. “You have to suck the liquid out. You guys should be pros at this shit.”

“Like this?” Liby asked.

The dark-haired succubus wrapped her lips around the straw and started to bob her head up and down. She made the motion a couple times, stopped, and then looked at her drink in disgust.

“This one’s hard to please.” She frowned.

The second time she went at the cup, she engulfed it with her mouth all the way down to the lid. She made a few gagging noises, and then her eyes darted over to stare at us in annoyance. The succubus eased back off the cup and then tossed it down on the table in disgust.

“He said suck, not blow.” Sia shook her head and clicked her tongue. “You should know that you have to tease it out. Like this.”

The madame raised her drink, placed her lips delicately on the straw, and then rolled her eyes back as she inhaled. The clear citrus liquid traveled up the drinking device and into her mouth, and she let out a sound of satisfaction. The redhead released her grip on the straw, and then she leaned back, crossed her arms, and shot the other succubi a look of victory.

“Sometimes, it’s not about being rough or forceful,” she mused.

“It always seemed to work for Sister Ira.” Liby pouted in defeat.

“Speaking of which,” I asked in confusion. “What’s the deal with Ira? Like you said that was her back in the motel, but only half of her?”

“Ira was always the strangest of our succubus group,” Sia said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Cupi laughed. “The stuff she does to her summoners makes BDSM look like a romantic night of heavy petting.”

“Oh?” Todd seemed to perk up at her words. “Sounds like my kinda girl.”

“As you witnessed during our battle, Ira has mastered the art of the mirror spell.” Sia ignored Todd and Cupi’s words. “Over the years, she has tailored her powers so that she can better service her clients. Now, she can split herself into two separate entities at will.”

“Why would she want to do that?” I asked curiously. “Wouldn’t that make her weaker?”

“At first it was just for her clients who were too timid to get in on the action for themselves,” the redhead explained. “She would split herself into two halves and then put on a show for her summoner.”

“Instant threesome, just add magic,” Todd cackled.

“You joke, but it’s true.” Liby shrugged. “We all use our Hellfire powers to give us an edge in the bedroom.”

“Or the couch,” Cupi added. “Or the sleeping bag. Or the backseat of the car.”

“Or a floating platform in the middle of the desert.” Sia looked at me and bit her lip. “But I digress. Ira has a dominant half that does the dominating, and a submissive half that enjoys taking sexually charged abuse.”

“And that was the submissive half we fought?” I asked.

“Bro,” Todd’s voice chuckled. “She asked if you were going to bludgeon her to death with your schlong. If that was the submissive side, I’d love to see what kinda kinky shit the dominant one is into.”

“Like I said when we first met,” Liby cautioned. “Sister Ira is an acquired taste, and one that most people probably don’t want to acquire.”

“Speak for yourself, Lib,” Todd said. “The Toddster will try anything at least once. But usually just once. Like that time my dealer convinced me to try acid.”

“Oh god,” I remembered. “That was scary.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” he argued.

“You were walking around the apartment with a baseball bat yelling about how you were gonna smash all the goblins that were invading our country,” I laughed. “Then you repeatedly attacked the faucet because it, and I quote, ‘looked at you funny.’”

“Our landlord still to this day has never fixed that damn thing,” he chuckled.

“Lunch time!” Our server’s voice boomed from behind us.

I turned my head and saw that the man had two large red trays in his hand. Both were filled to the brim with the food we had ordered, and he had the bucket of french fries hanging by its handle off his right arm. The mustached man smiled as he placed our chow down on the concrete table.

“Bon appétit!” he exclaimed as he put his fingers to his mouth and made a smacking noise. The man turned away and dashed back to his post, and we were left with the incredible edible scene that sat before us.

“It looks like a gangbang up in here with all these wieners,” Todd chuckled as the Louisiana Hot Link raised up into the air.

I went with the simple dog, but I made sure that it was packed to the brim with all the fixings. The dog was loaded with pure red ketchup, golden-yellow mustard, crispy onions, and some sweet relish. Even though I wasn’t that hungry, the smokey and sweet aroma alone made my stomach growl in anticipation.

I looked over at Libidine’s selection, and I wished that I would have ordered one of everything like she had.

“Hey Liby,” the floating Louisiana Hot Link pointed at the succubus in challenge. “I betcha I can eat all my grub before you do!”

“You’re on, Todd.” The woman’s eyes narrowed, and she picked up her own Hot Link.

I couldn’t help but laugh as Libidine stared across the table at the floating hot dog.

Todd whistled the tune of a western standoff.

“Go!” he exclaimed, and both of my friends shoved the Hot Links into their mouths.

The hot dogs at Barnacle Bills were massive, so Libidine was only able to get her Hot Link halfway down before she had to stop. She gagged, and her eyes started to water as she forced the rest into her mouth. For a moment, Liby looked like she was trying to force herself to swallow, but then she gulped down the rest of the link and smiled.

Despite Libidine’s setback, I looked over to see that Todd was only a second behind her with his Louisiana Hot Link. The last bit of his bun disappeared into thin air, and then the imp grabbed his cup and slurped his root beer in a rush.

“How can anyone eat that shit?” the cup was placed back onto the table. “Food that hot is an abomination to mankind!”

“Stop being a baby,” Liby laughed as she pulled back the half-eaten corn dog out of her mouth. “That was mild compared to a vargrat.”

“The food in Hell must be really shit if even the rats taste like five-alarm chili,” Todd panted.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m gonna savor my food,” I chuckled as I raised my classic dog to my mouth.

“Speaking of abominations,” Todd picked up the Chicago-style hot dog. “Ketchup on a hot dog? You should be ashamed of yourself, bro.”

“I’m sorry I’m not the sausage connoisseur that you are.” I winked in the imp’s direction.

“Low blow, bro,” he clicked. “Low blow.”

The Chicago-style dog was reduced to little more than a spray of bun, meat, and relish as it disappeared into Todd’s gullet.

I shrugged and turned back to my own hot dog. It may not have been the fanciest of foods, but the flavors of the frankfurter made my taste buds sing when it touched my mouth.

As I bit into the hot dog, I felt the crunch of the bun as my mouth filled with juices from the meat and the buttery flavor of the toasted bread. Seconds later, the savory sweet relish and tangy condiments kicked to create a delicious taste that nearly made my eyes roll back in my head.

It only took three more bites before the satisfying morsel was completely in my belly.

I took a swig of my bubbly cola to wash the hot dog down, and then I reached over to the corn on a stick.

As I unwrapped the foil casing from around the dish, my nostrils were overcome with the aroma of the smoky, buttery, roasted corn. The skin of the side dish was perfectly golden yellow, with a few sears of black remaining from the cooking process. The warm, greasy butter that topped the corn glistened in the sun as it ran down off the cob and onto my hand.

This thing was a heart attack waiting to happen, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Do you eat the whole thing?” Cupiditas asked cautiously as she unwrapped her own corn. “I just wanted to ask before I shoved the whole thing in my mouth.”

“Now that is a phrase I never thought I’d hear Cupiditas say,” Sia chuckled and picked up her own Chicago-style dog.

“Of course not,” I explained. “You just use your teeth to pull the kernels off. Like this.”

I pulled the corn up to my mouth, and I instantly felt the warm butter dribble down onto my chin. As my teeth bit into the juicy corn, and the kernels exploded in my mouth, and I got a taste of the smoky flavor. I quickly ran my teeth up and down along the cob, and soon all that remained was an empty cob and a smear of butter on my face. As I laid the husk back down on the table, I looked up to see all three of the succubi staring at me in disbelief.

A sly smile slid up Sia’s face. “I… I didn’t know you could do that with your mouth,” she stuttered.

“Do what?” I asked, completely confused.

“You just devoured that entire cob in like, two seconds,” Libidine whispered in shock. “Every single kernel.”

“What my sisters are saying is that you seem to have expert control over your mouth.” Cupi smirked. “And that we want you to show us some time.”

“You haven’t had him try that on you yet?” Sia asked in surprise.

“We’ve normally got other things on our mind, sister.” Libidine held up her classic hot dog and wiggled it back and forth.

“I’m just gonna eat these french fries before I lose my entire appetite,” Todd joked.

I snatched up the bucket of fries before the imp could grab them. “Hold up there, Toddster,” I chuckled. “That’s for all of us, not just for the hungry imp.”

“Maybe you should have got your own bucket, then,” Todd’s disembodied voice argued.

“Do you really need a whole bu--” I started.

“Bro, I’m just fucking with you,” Todd laughed. “My stomach is still reeling from that Hot Link. I think I’m gonna be stuck on the shitter for hours.”

“Ewwww.” Libidine was now holding her chili dog, but Todd’s words made her look at the sloppy mixture she held in her hands in pure disgust.

The curvy-woman gagged, placed the hot dog back on its wrapper, and pushed it away.

“I think I’m done.” Libidine shook her head back and forth. “In fact, I don’t think I ever want something like this ever again. You can have my chili dog if you want, Todd.”

“My body’s telling me no, but my mind’s telling me yes,” the imp’s voice cackled as the chili dog lifted into the air. “Forgive me, stomach. You were brave, but now I must destroy you.”

The hot dog disappeared, but the mixture of chunky chili and bright yellow nacho cheese splattered across the imp’s invisible face and revealed his location.

The imp seemed to tilt his head back and look at the sky. “Worth it,” he belched.

I looked around and saw that the girls had all devoured the rest of their food.

Now, all that remained was the bucket of french fries.

“Last, but certainly not least,” I held up the bucket like it was a golden idol. “The fried, curly potato.”

“Bro, stoooppp.” Todd whimpered.

“We can do it,” I laughed. “I believe in us.”

I sat the white and red bucket down in the middle of the table, and each of us took turns reaching in and pulling out a handful of the golden-fried spuds. Within five minutes, the entire container was gone, and all three of the succubi comically sat with their hands over their stomachs.

“Why is Earth food so delicious?” Liby groaned.

“I’ve been asking myself that same thing for years, dudette,” Todd grunted as he hopped up on the table. “Now that we’ve conquered the grub, there’s only one thing left to do!”

“No more food, please.” Cupi begged.

“Nah,” Todd chuckled. “Let’s go on some rides!”

“Uh, Todd,” I interjected. “Feasts followed by thrill rides is a recipe for disaster.”

“I’d prefer to keep my meal on the inside of my stomach,” Sia groaned.

“Okay fine,” Todd snickered. “Then we’ll do plan B.”

“Plan B?” Libidine asked.

“Plan B,” Todd confirmed. “Let’s go hit up the arcade.”

“Or, you could get back to your mission,” a booming voice erupted from behind us.

Startled, I whipped around to see who had joined us.

Standing there was a man in a white SWAT-like uniform, with his long dark hair tucked up into a man bun.

It was the Archangel, Raphael.

Chapter 15

“Raphey boy!” Todd exclaimed, and then the floating splotch of chili and cheese ran over to the archangel. “I was hoping you’d show up. We can’t go on the roller coasters with an odd number of riders.”

Raphael stopped in his tracks and looked down at his leg as the fabric wrinkled. When Todd finally released him, a stain of chili-cheese appeared just below the Archangel’s knee.

“It is good to see you too, Todd,” the dark-haired man muttered and wiped at the greasy stain. “Although I must admit that I’ve gone through more suits in the last month than I think I have in the last hundred years.”

“You don’t wear white when Todd’s around.” Cupiditas shrugged. “I found that out very quickly.”

“That was an accident and you know it!” the imp said accusingly.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, Raphael?” Sia changed the subject.

“Superbia.” The Archangel nodded. “You look more relaxed and radiant than usual.”

“Sister Sia and Jacob made the connection,” Libidine answered.

Raphael’s lips pursed together, and he nodded his head approvingly.

“Congratulations,” he laughed at me. “It’s always good news to hear an ally has become more powerful. Even if it is achieved by… Nontraditional methods.”

“Nontraditional for an angel, maybe,” Cupi retorted.

“That is why I’m still on the side of the Divine, and you’re on the side of the Demonic, Cupiditas.” Raphael half-joked. “We get our powers through communal bonding and friendship.”

Todd doubled over in laughter, and then he fell over onto the ground as he kicked his feet in the air and cackled.

“Friendship and bonding?” the imp scoffed. “Gaaaaaaayyyyy.”

“I agree, it is quite jovial.” The archangel nodded, pleased. “In fact, all of Heaven is quite gay.”

I laughed, I just couldn’t help it, and as I did, the archangel looked at me in confusion.

“You laugh, but who has won each phase of the war?”

“Wait, wait, wait.” I held out my hands to interrupt the Archangel. “Phase of the war? I thought it was an eternal battle?”

The dark-haired man looked at me like I was an idiot.

“It is,” he explained. “But even eternity has to end at some point.”

“Revelations,” Todd said with a whistle. “The Apocalypse. The end of the world.”

“The final phase of the war between Heaven and Hell is said to bring about the end times, Jacob,” Sia chimed in. “The Master of Life will return and have his final showdown with Lucifer, with the fate of every mortal soul at stake.”

“When you say ‘Master of Life--’” I questioned.

“You know who she’s talking about.” Raphael nodded.

“Think tall dude with long brown hair and a white robe,” Todd explained. “Likes to multiply fish and turn water into wine.”

“So what Azazel did back there at the Chapel might have brought about the apocalypse?” I said with a raised eyebrow. “That seems like a lot of risk just to kill one mortal and a few succubi.”

“I agree,” Raphael mumbled. “But the size of a demon’s ego knows no bounds. You slighted him, and he wanted his revenge no matter the consequences.”

“It feels good to be wanted,” Todd snickered.

“So is this it?” I continued. “Are we in the End Times?”

“I don’t believe so.” The Archangel shook his head. “It all starts with a prophet named John, who gets a message from an angel and then goes around spreading the word that the end is near. It’s one of the reasons that we are forbidden from directly interacting with mortals in our true forms.”

“Are you telling me the big man upstairs is afraid of the end of the world?” Todd’s voice asked.

“Afraid isn’t the right term.” The man in the SWAT uniform shrugged. “It’s more like he wants to enjoy his creation for as long as possible before he blows it all up and starts anew.”

“Starts anew?” I couldn’t help but sound dumbfounded.

“I forgot that you are still a mortal.” Raphael shook his head and then looked at Cupiditas. “You’ll have to fill Jacob in when time is not of the issue. Which brings me to the reason I’m here.”

“Time?” Cupi protested. “Jacob says that we’re only two hours from our destination.”

“And for that I am grateful,” the dark-haired man conceded. “But with all due respect, the Cult of Azazel isn’t spending its time playing in amusement parks or fornicating in the middle of the desert.”

“You’ve been watching us?” I stood up and clenched my fists in anger.

“Off and on.” He nodded and then chuckled when he saw my frustration. “I didn’t watch you having intercourse, if that’s what you’re upset about.”

“I’m angry because you just stood back and watched when we could have used your help,” I grumbled at the Archangel. “The cult? The Skinwalkers? Sister Ira? Things would have gone a lot smoother if we’d had a freaking Archangel at our side!”

“The Accords only allow me to interfere when the situation is dire,” he explained. “Low-level demons and magic users attacking a mortal? Not within my jurisdiction. Now, one of the Kings of Hell threatening to break a centuries-old universal law? The Seventy-Two Servants trying to get back together? Those are most certainly ‘dire’ situations.”

“Uh-oh.” Todd observed. “That probably means he won’t be around during the climax.”

“Besides, I’m more than confident that you can handle yourself,” Raphael explained. “That’s why you and your friends were chosen for these missions.”

“So that’s why you’re here?” I groaned. “To nag us about not doing our chores fast enough?”

“I’m just trying to make you see things from my perspective,” the Archangel implored. “If what you discovered at the cult gathering was true, we could already be too late. Every second spent not focused on the mission is another second that they could be getting closer and closer to impregnating some poor woman.”

“Relax, Raphael.” Cupiditas butted into the conversation. “We won’t let the Nephilim be born. Besides, you of all people should know how important it is to unwind in the mortal world between battles. I once heard a story about you and one of the other ange--”

“Alright, Cupiditas.” The man raised a hand to cut her off. “I understand what you’re trying to do. You were always the expert at getting under people’s skin.”

“It must be working,” Todd whispered to me not-so-subtly.

“We’ll get to San Francisco, and we’ll stop the cult.” I scoffed at the Archangel. “Trust me, allowing the fucker Azazel to reproduce is the last thing we need.”

“I just wanted to touch base and make sure you were still on track before I headed off to my next mission.” Raphael nodded, and then he rummaged through his pockets and produced a handful of tiny black cubes. “And to give you these.”

“Oh, goodies,” Todd’s voice giggled.

“What are they?” Libidine plucked one of the cubes from the Archangel’s hand and inspected it.

“One of the greatest weapons a demon hunter could ask for,” Raphael explained. “Portable demon traps.”

“Portable demon traps?” I asked. “Like the Key of Solomon?”

“Precisely like the Key of Solomon.” He nodded. “Let me show you.”

The Archangel passed a cube out to each of us and then held out the remaining one in his left hand. He looked around cautiously, and then he engulfed it in white fire.

The second the flames surrounded the black cube, what appeared to be inscriptions lit up all around its body. A small projection of light shot out onto the ground, and the familiar image of the Key of Solomon stood before us.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” I shook my head in disbelief. “This will definitely be easier than sketching the Key out every time we need one.”

“Why didn’t you tell us of this technology before?” Cupiditas demanded. “That could have saved us so much trouble over the last few weeks.”

“I wanted to test your mettle.” The dark-haired man shrugged. “And besides, what kind of mentor would I be if I let you take the easy way out right off the bat? Remember, a complacent demon hunter is a dead demon hunter.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I tossed the cube into the air and caught it nonchalantly.

“You’re quite welcome, my friends,” Raphael said, and apparently he did not catch my sarcasm. “Just remember- Stop the cult now, and then there will be all sorts of time to play later. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to China to see if I can convince the Jiangshi to join the side of the Divine.”

“That explains the military outfit,” Sia observed. “Good luck. The Jiangshi are not exactly the most reasonable species.”

“What the hell is a Jiangshi?” I asked, completely lost.

“Bro,” Todd interrupted. “They’re a type of Chinese vampire. But instead of feeding off blood, they suck the soul out of your body. Duh.”

“Duh,” I laughed sarcastically. “How foolish of me to forget that.”

“How foolish, indeed,” the imp snickered with a phony British accent.

“Check in with me again once the woman has been saved, and the cult has been defeated.” The Archangel nodded and then turned to walk away. “I look forward to hearing about your endeavors.”

Raphael gave us a smile, and then he walked away down the boardwalk. Even without his robes, the Archangel’s gait made it appear as if he was weightless and floating. As soon as he rounded the corner, a brilliant white light radiated from where he had just disappeared.

“Damn,” Todd mused. “That definitely means he’s not going to be in the climax.”

“What an uptight, pompous--” Cupi started to mutter.

“Now, Cupiditas,” Sia put a hand on the fit blonde’s back. “Despite the differences between Raphael and ourselves, he is our ally. We need to be kind to him.”

“But sister--”

“No ‘buts,’ Cupiditas.” Sia scolded. “Remember what I taught you when you first arrived in the Circle of Sin?”

“When somebody insults you, turn the other cheek,” Cupi huffed.

“Wait, isn’t that from the Bible?” I chuckled.

“Is it?” Sia sounded dumbfounded. “I learned it in my HR courses!”

“That’s definitely the Bible,” Todd chuckled.

“Well I’ll be,” the redhead laughed. “Azazel would have been very upset if he’d known that’s what I was teaching these girls.”

“That reminds me.” I tapped my chin in confusion. “How did you acquire an MBA in the first place? These two told me that succubi were only allowed out of Hell when they were with a client.”

“Mostly accurate.” Superbia shrugged. “Our masters would, however, make occasional exceptions for his favorite members of the group.”

“Way to rub it in, sister,” Libidine joked playfully.

“Oh, now, it was a blessing and a curse,” the redhead retorted. “I got to leave Hell for full days on end without recourse, but in return I had to come back and manage all of these girls. As you can probably imagine that was no small feat.”

“Small price to pay,” Cupi cooed. “You know you loved every minute of it.”

“I did,” Sia said as she ran her hand up and down the blonde’s back lovingly. “And now that I followed you and Libidine to Jacob, I’m loving it even more.”

“Oh boy,” Todd’s voice intervened. “Am I watching a Lifetime original movie over here?”

“Don’t pretend you’re not loving this whole thing too, Todd.” I rolled my eyes.

“No doubt, bro.” The imp’s voice agreed. “Chicks dig the Toddster and his massive schlong. Plus we get to go around doing badass demon-slaying shit. It actually makes me kinda bummed that we’re only killing humans this time.”

“Even with the context that sounds horrible,” I laughed and then looked down at my watch. “We probably should be going if we want to make San Francisco before nightfall. At least we got to enjoy the beach and food for a little while.”

“Oh, hell no.” Todd protested. “You robbed me of Disneyland. You’re not going to rob me of going on some of these sweet-ass rides.”

“Raphael said--”

“Raphael, smaphael,” Todd interrupted. “Bro, the dude’s a man-bun wearing, metrosexual tight-ass. Is that really who you want to take orders from?”

“I don’t take orders from--”

“A man-bun, Jacob.” Todd continued. “A. Man. Bun.”

“Okay, fine!” I stuck out my hands in defeat. “These rides only last like five minutes anyway. Which ones do you want to go on?”

“I want to try that one!” Liby bounced and pointed to a white wooden roller coaster across the way.

“Ohhhhh, the Giant Dipper,” Todd exclaimed. “Excellent choice. I’ll race you there!”

“You’re on!” The succubus in the one-piece said, and then she took off in the direction of the roller coaster.

“We’ll go buy some ride passes and then meet you there,” I called out as she dashed across the boardwalk.

“Sister Libidine has always been the succubus with the most childlike wonder.” Sia shook her head. “It’s gotten her into more trouble than you can possibly imagine.”

“Oh, I can imagine quite a lot,” I said as we started walking back toward the entrance of the boardwalk.

“Sister Superbia jokes, but Liby’s optimism has gotten us through a lot of difficult times,” Cupiditas mused. “And when you’re a succubus working under one of Hell’s most ruthless generals, there are quite a few of those.”

“You’ll never go through those hard times again,” I nodded. “Not while I’m around. Azazel is gone, and we’re going to make sure he stays down in the dark abyss where he belongs, where he can’t hurt anyone ever again. And once we take out the rest of his little fan club? He’ll vanish into the dustbin of history, and Azazel, the King of the Fourth Circle, will be nothing but a bad memory.”

“I can see why Libidine loves you so much, Jacob,” Sia said slyly. “You share her optimistic outlook on life.”

“The massive dick probably helps, too,” Cupi added.

“Probably, Cupiditas,” the redhead chuckled. “Probably.”

We continued down the boardwalk for a few minutes longer until we finally reached the ticket booth. The miniature building was painted with an eggshell white color that almost appeared yellow upon first glance, and the roof shared a similar red-and-white striped pattern with Barnacle Bill’s. Even though the boardwalk was a fairly popular attraction, this particular structure was quite small, and there was no line at the furthest window. As we approached, we were met by a smiling blonde woman in a baby blue dress shirt.

“Hello dears, what can I do for you today?” She grinned at us through the glass.

“We need four ride passes, please.” I slid Robert Quinn’s credit card through the tiny opening at the base of the window.

“Alright, I have four all-day passes at thirty dollars apiece,” she mumbled as she typed at her register. “That comes to one-hundred and twenty dollars.”

“Put it all on the card.” I winked at the blonde. “I’m feeling like a big spender today.”

The blonde woman rang up our order, swiped the card, and then produced four red wristbands.

“These will get you onto any ride you want, free of charge.” She slipped the card and the wristbands underneath the window. “Enjoy!”

“Thanks.” I smiled. “We certainly will.”

“Wait!” the woman called out as the three of us turned to leave. “I just wanted to know, where did you two get those bathing suits? They’re so cute!”

The succubi smiled at each other, and then Sia pointed down the way. “They came from that store over there, dear. They are very comfortable.”

“I’m not sure I could pull them off like you do,” the blonde woman chuckled and looked down at the ground.

Cupiditas bent her fit torso down so that she could lean on the counter and look the woman in the eyes. As she did so, she arched her back, and her tight ass was directly in my line of sight.

I couldn’t help but stare at the blonde’s perfect body when it was on display.

“Of course you could,” Cupi purred. “You’ve got bigger breasts than either of us, and-- Could you turn around for a second?”

The succubus paused as the woman turned around.

“That’s what I thought,” she continued. “Your hips are wide, and your ass is very full. In fact, I think you’d put us to shame if you wore what my friend Sia is wearing.”

“Stop,” the blonde’s face turned red. “You really think so?”

“I know it,” Cupi purred. “What about you two?”

“You’re very attractive.” Sia let a sly grin slide up her face. “I would certainly like to see you in a bikini. Or less.”

“Jacob? You are the important one here, don’t you think she’d look great in a bikini?”

“I, uh-- I think you could definitely rock the orange one,” I stuttered after hearing the redhead’s words.

“See?” Cupiditas said with a sly grin. “Jacob knows beautiful women.”

“Yeah,” the cashier said as she blushed at me. “I can see he does.”

“Maybe the next time we come back here, we can take you on a shopping spree with Jacob.” Cupi giggled. “We’ll even join you in the dressing room to make sure everything fits as snug and tightly as possible.”

“That… That would be nice,” the blonde clerk stared at me, and then bashfully lowered her eyes.

“Until then, arrivederci.” Cupi winked at the woman behind the glass, stood up, and turned back toward Sia and me.

As the three of us walked back to The Giant Dipper, I tried to process what I’d just seen.

“You guys are really good with the teasing aspect of your job, aren’t you?” I joked.

“Jacob,” Sia laughed. “You haven’t seen anything yet. Sister Ira is famous for the way she teases men. In fact, she does it so well that most of her clients say it’s akin to torture.”

“Yet they keep coming back for more,” Cupi added. “That’s the strange part.”

“Some people like to get blue-balled, I guess.” I shrugged.

“Oh, Jacob.” Sia clicked her tongue. “Blue balls are not even the half of it. Though it may be what you’re experiencing right now.”

“Very funny,” I chuckled. “If I whipped it out right here and now, I bet both of you would be on me faster than I could say ‘threesome.’”

“Maybe we could get that blonde from the ticket booth to join in and make it a foursome?” Cupi cooed. “She seemed to be enjoying our attention. Her lips were practically trembling when she looked at your handsome face.”

“I dunno,” I continued. “I doubt she would be able to keep up with you guys. Fucking is in your job description after all.”

“Was,” Superbia corrected. “Now, it is just a pleasurable pastime.”

“My favorite pastime,” Cupiditas made a smacking sound with her lips.

It only took us a few minutes to reach The Giant Dipper from the ticket booth, and both Liby and Todd were waiting for us when we got there.

The curvy succubus stood with her arms crossed over her massive chest, and she wore an impatient look on her face.

“Finally!” she laughed when she saw us with the passes. “Todd and I thought you got lost.”

“Nope,” Cupi giggled. “We just had to take some time to flirt with the sexy woman behind the ticket counter.”

“I missed that?” the dark-haired woman pouted. “Why do you always get to have all the fun, sister?”

“Well shit,” Todd’s disembodied voice spoke up. “I wish I could have been there to check out this bodacious babe. Though I’m worried she wouldn’t have been ready for this rockin’ bod.”

“Like the girl back in Kansas?” I asked.

“Be still my beating heart,” Todd sighed. “I still think she’s the one, bro. But nobody can handle this sexy hunk of imp. The world just isn’t ready.”

“Remember what we told you,” Libidine patted what I assumed was the imp’s head. “Once Jacob grows his connections and becomes more powerful, you’ll be able to shapeshift into whatever body you want.”

“Well that almost makes me want to do the connection thingy with Jacob myself!” The imp giggled. “But no homo.”

“You know,” I laughed. “You keep saying that, but I’m starting to wonder…”

“No homo, bro,” Todd reiterated. “Now, are you ready for our sweaty, shirtless bodies to be thrown together from the whiplash of this roller coaster?”

“Sure thing, Todd.” I rolled my eyes and handed everybody their bands.

We strapped them onto our wrists and then walked over to the entrance of The Giant Dipper.

This was apparently one of the oldest roller coasters in America, and it showed. The red steel track was about as simplistic as they come, with a track that went through a few sidewinding bends and had a large hill. The entire structure was held together with whitewashed wood that looked like it had seen better days, but a handful of screams from above reminded me that it was still running as good as ever.

We came to the automatic ticket booth, and each of us held up our wristbands to the scanner as we passed. Then, we entered a small queue line area with a small television screen.

“What the fuck is that?” Todd asked in horror when the video started to play.

On the screen was a poorly rendered CGI Boardwalk Pass Card, complete with dead eyes, a mouth, and arms and legs. The little guy on the screen lectured about safety during the ride, but the imp kept tugging at the legs of my shorts to try to get me away.

“Comeon, bro,” he pleaded. “Safety is for pussys, anyways.”

“Todd’s got this thing where he’s horrified of anamorphic objects,” I whispered to the succubi. “Another reason why I really didn’t want to take him to Disneyland.”

The video finally ended, and we were released into the main queue for the coaster. The Giant Dipper had ride vehicles that could only fit two riders at a time, so we were going to have to split up.

“I’m riding with Liby,” Cupiditas wrapped her arms around her sister, and the two succubi walked over to the second-to-last car.

“I guess that means we’re car partners,” I chuckled to the redheaded madame.

“And me,” Todd reminded us. “I can be the meat in your Todd sandwich.”

“We’ve really got to work on your phrasing.” I shook my head, and then we got in line for the car behind Cupi and Liby.

It wasn’t long until the Giant Dipper finally pulled into the loading zone, and a teenager in a baby blue shirt motioned for us and the rest of the riders to hop in. The cars were blue and red, and they appeared to be made of nothing more than some sort of sturdy plastic.

I scooted over into the far side of the seat, and then I felt Todd bump into my outer thigh.

The redhead sat down delicately on the other side of the imp, and Cupi and Liby looked back at us eagerly.

“This is gonna be fun,” Libidine smirked.

“It’s like flying, but without the wings!” Todd exclaimed. “Or the threat of being shot down by another demon’s fireball.”

The teenager came around and pushed down the protective bar onto our lap. When he got to the succubi in the car in front of us, his face turned beet red, and he awkwardly fumbled to get their bar down without touching their exposed bodies. Once the bar was locked into place, I saw him scurry off to the next car with his head down.

“I think somebody just hit puberty,” Todd snickered.

“Attention riders,” a voice came over the loudspeaker. “Please remember to keep all hands, arms, and legs in the ride vehicle at all times. Have a safe trip and thank you for riding the Giant Dipper.”

“Here we go!” Todd couldn’t contain his excitement.

There was a shrill beeping noise, and then the ride vehicle lurched forward into a dark tunnel. The people on the ride let out their first scream of faux terror as we moved through the pitch-black space toward the light at the end of the tunnel. We exited the darkness and were instantly met with a steep hill. The ride vehicle began to climb, and the sound of metallic clicking rang in my ears. Tension continued to build as the cars ascended, and all we could see in front of us was the bright blue sky. I heard the passengers all the way at the front let out a scream as they went over the edge. Seconds later my body felt weightless, and I yelled with glee as we plummeted down the hill.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blur of white appear out of thin air and then quickly fly backward.

“Awwww fuuuuucckkkk!” Todd screamed.

Welp, that must have been his cowboy hat.

It was only another second or two before we hit another drop. This one was much smaller, but it still got the job done and kept my adrenaline going. We whipped around a steep corner, and I reached over and tapped Sia on the shoulder.

“Like this!” I exclaimed as I reached my hands up, and we approached another drop.

The redhead shot me a happy smile and then stuck her hands up into the air.

The rest of the ride consisted of smaller drops and more steep turns, and it was all over in a flash. As the vehicle pulled into the exit area, Sia laughed and laid her head against my shoulder.

Our car came to a stop, and the five of us exited the Giant Dipper.

“That was so much fun!” the curvy succubus giggled as we walked through the orange building that led to the ride’s exit.

“I must admit, I was impressed.” Sia shrugged.

“Impressed?” Cupiditas laughed. “Is that all you can say? That was fucking awesome!”

“I lost my cowboy hat, but I regret absolutely nothing.” Todd’s voice said from beside us. “I think-- Bro! We have to get a souvenir picture!”

Just before the exit, there was one of those shops that sold pictures that were taken just as the ride went over the drop.

I scanned the screens for the one of us, but it didn’t take me long to find. I nearly doubled over in laughter when I saw the image on the TV.

Cupi and Liby both had their eyes closed, and both of their breasts were being pushed up near their shoulders by the g-force of the fall. Meanwhile, Sia and I both had a goofy, giddy expression on our faces. But most importantly, the camera had captured us in the exact moment when Todd’s cowboy hat had fallen off.

“I’ll take the large print of number fifteen, please.” I smiled at the cashier. “The one with the flying cowboy hat and the sexy women.”

“An excellent choice.” The man behind the counter shot me a wink.

I handed him a twenty and then I turned to my friends.

“That’s totally going on the fridge when we get back to Phoenix.” I smiled.

The man behind the counter handed me the commemorative photo, and my friends and I exited back out into the hot California sun.

“We probably need to get going,” I said as I looked down at my watch. “It’s already late afternoon.”

“One more ride?” Todd asked innocently. “Please, Jakey?”

“We certainly have time for one more, don’t we?” Sia implored.

“Okay, one more.” I shook my head and laughed. “Which one do you want to do?”

“That one!” All three succubi pointed at the large white and red tower.

“Oh, you guys wanna ride the Double Shot, eh?” I laughed. “Then we’d better get over there before Raphael decides to come rain on our parade again.”

“That’s the spirit!” Todd laughed. “To the Double Shot!”

The tower launching ride wasn’t that far away from the Giant Dipper, but we still power-walked our way over.

Time was of the essence, but we still wanted to at least get our money’s worth out of the day.

There was no line, so the four of us simply scanned our wristbands and then hopped into the red-and-yellow seats. Libidine was on my left, and Todd was on my right. The other two succubi were off to the far left where I couldn’t see them.

Seconds later, the ride operator came around and secured all the protective chest pieces, including the one that covered the invisible imp.

“Clear!” he called out to his partner in the operating booth.

I looked over, and the second man gave thumbs up to all the riders. He reached down to press something, and a loud series of beeps started to count down.

“What exactly is this ride again?” Libidine asked with a twinge of fear in her voice.

Before I could answer, we were launched up hundreds of feet into the air. The succubi, Todd, and I all screamed as the ride took us up, dropped us a few dozen feet, and then took us up again.

For a brief moment, during one of the pauses, I opened my eyes and was met with one of the most beautiful scenes I’d ever seen in my entire life. We were hundreds of feet in the air, and to my right the magnificent Pacific Ocean stretched out before me as far as the horizon would let it go. Off to my left, I could see the bustling boardwalk, framed by the beautiful mountains off in the distance. Then the ride decided it was going to drop us again, and my eyes instinctively whipped shut.

After a few more ascensions and drops, the five of us were all safely back on the ground. The safety pieces on our chest clicked loose, and I raised it up and slid down out of the ride vehicle.

“I think I liked that more than the roller coaster,” Sia laughed.

“I second that, sister,” Libidine let out a shriek of happiness.

“I still can’t believe you humans do this kind of stuff for fun,” Cupiditas added.

“And I still can’t believe it’s not butter!” Todd’s voice cackled in glee.

We exited the ride area, and I checked my watch once more.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but--” I began.

“Yeah, yeah,” Todd said. “We gotta go do hero shit and all that.”

“Thanks for being so understanding,” I laughed.

“You still owe me a trip to Disneyland.” The imp refused to let it go.

“And we will have to come back here for that delicious-looking blonde. After all, Jacob is the best ride here.” Cupi smirked.

All I could do is laugh and shake my head. “We’ll see what we can do. But right now, we have a cult to stop.”

Chapter 16

It was now early evening in the bay area, and the warm rays of the setting sun shined through Shadow’s windows as we rolled down the interstate.

“I still can’t believe you made us leave that place, bro.” Todd pouted from the passenger’s seat of the Jeep. “What would one more ride on the roller coaster have cost us?”

“Literally, nothing,” I chuckled. “We paid for everything using Quinn’s stolen credit cards. Now hypothetically, it could mean the difference between victory and the end of the world as we know it.”

“See?” Todd mused. “No big deal.”

“Speaking of Quinn’s credit cards,” Sia spoke up from the back seat. “Have you actually checked on their balances? Or his bank accounts?”

“The dude was loaded, Sia.” I responded. “I’m sure they’ll last us for a while. Besides, I thought you were the one who was supposed to be in charge of the finances?”

“Most of Quinn’s accounts have a voice-activated log-in system.” The succubus shrugged. “I was hoping our little friend could help out with that.”

“Moi?” Todd said in a surprised voice.

“Yes, ‘moi,’” Sia chuckled. “If you can use your powers to imitate Quinn’s voice, we can find out just how much we’re dealing with.”

“Great idea, Sia.” I nodded as I reached down into my pocket, produced my cell phone, and then tossed it over in the seat next to Todd.

Without taking my hand off the wheel, I dug into my back pocket, pulled out my wallet, and then stuck it out for Todd to take.

“Bro, you’re trusting me with our finances?” the imp couldn’t contain the joy in his voice.

“Normally I’d say it was against my better judgement,” I laughed. “The last time I gave you money for rent, you blew it all on that conjuring book.”

“Which was the best decision the Toddster’s ever made!” he giggled.

“Exactly.” I nodded. “There should be a number to call on the back of those. Now do your thing, Toddinator.”

The imp snagged my wallet out of my hands and then pulled out the cards we’d stolen from Quinn. He held up the first one with his hand and the cell phone with the other, and he squinted as he dialed the numbers with his tiny thumb.

With each tap of his claw onto the display, I was thankful that I had a screen protector.

“Welcome to WETA Bank card services,” the automated voice on the other line answered. “How can we help you today?”

“Howdy,” Todd belted out in Quinn’s voice. “I was just here wonderin’ if you could tell me how much ah had left on my credit line.”

A small beep was heard on the other end.

“Your WETA Bank Card is unlimited, and currently holds a balance of three-hundred dollars,” the voice explained.

“Yeeeehaaaaw!” the imp exclaimed. “That’s the best durn news I’ve heard all day. Thank ya, doll.”

Todd clicked the button to hang up the phone, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“He’s got a southern accent, Todd.” I smiled. “That doesn’t mean he’s one of the Duke Brothers.”

“Ahh…” Todd clicked a finger gun at me. “Gotcha. Maybe more of a Boss Hogg kinda thing?”

“I think he just wants you to tone it down,” Cupi giggled from the back seat.

“Toned down, got it.” Todd said as he typed the number on the back of another one of  Quinn’s bank card.

“Welcome to Alliance Banking,” a voice rang from the other line. “Please state a command.”

“Now I say, I say, could you kindly di-rect me to the numbas of mah finances for this account?” he said into the phone.

“Now he’s doing Foghorn Leghorn.” I couldn’t help but put my hand to my face as the words came out.

There was a moment of silence, and then a happy beep.

“Hello, Mr. Quinn,” the automated voice responded. “Your account balance is… One-million dollars and fifty-seven cents.”

“A-thank you, kind sir,” Todd said as he hung up.

My heart pounded in my ears at the automated voice’s words.

“Did that thing just say we have a million dollars?” I stammered.

“Ah do believe so,” Todd snickered, still in Robert Quinn’s voice. “It looks lahk we’re gonna have ourselves a guhd time tonight.”

“Holy fuck that’s a lot of money!” I could barely keep Shadow on the road because of my shaking hands. “I thought we’d hit it big back in Vegas, but a million dollars? And a credit card with no limit?”

“That’s a lot of herb, bro!” Todd jumped up and down in the seat next to me.

“We’re fucking rich!” I exclaimed. “For real this time!”

“Yet, to somebody like Quinn, that’s just a drop in the bucket,” Libidine mused. “And if we’re not careful with it, that million will be gone before we know it.”

“Quinn probably wouldn’t even think twice about wiping his ass with that sort of dough,” Todd added. “Bro, donuts actually sound really fucking good right now for some reason.”

“Ewww,” I gagged at the imp. “Those two mental images should not go together.”

“That may be a lot of money, but we must be careful.” Sia warned. “As helpful as Todd’s power is, somebody is eventually going to realize that Quinn is missing. Especially once he stops making payments on these cards, and his account is drained.”

“All the more reason to max them out while we have the chance,” Todd exclaimed. “We have an unlimited line of credit and only a couple of months to spend it. What about if we went to Vegas again? They’ll do cash advance on credit car--”

“No!” Cupi, Liby, and I shouted in unison.

“Ah yes, your encounter with Gallu,” Sia laughed. “I remember that Azazel was fuming when he found out about that.”

“I’m surprised he heard about it at all.” I shrugged. “The news just said that there was a fire at the Excalibur. Nothing about a dead bull-man. Nothing about any sort of scuffle. Nothing.”

“It’s the Illuminati, bro.” Todd coughed through a cloud of weed smoke. “They took care of the body and are covering up the whole thing. They don’t want the people to know, man.”

“You know, Todd,” I shook my head, “A few months ago I would have laughed in your face and said you were just baked out of your mind. But now? I’m ready to believe just about anything.”

“It’s the power of the reefer.” The imp stuck out his joint and admired it lovingly. “It unlocks that other eighty percent of your mind that you don’t use.”

“Well that’s just bad anatomy,” Libidine chuckled. “If you really used one-hundred percent of the synapses in your brain, you’d probably just stroke out and die.”

“No, dudette,” Todd argued. “I saw it on a documentary once. You become all enlightened and can get special powers and shit.”

“Todd, that wasn’t a documentary.” I laughed. “We saw it in the movie theater.”

“Potato, potat-o.” The imp shrugged.

In the distance, the large cluster of lights that had been peeking through the evening sky started to become recognizable as the skyline of San Francisco.

“There it is, guys.” I nodded toward the buildings in front of us. “San Francisco, the Golden City.”

“It’s massive,” Libidine marveled. “This makes Phoenix and Vegas look like villages.”

“I forget that you guys didn’t get out often,” I laughed. “This isn’t even the biggest city in the United States, let alone the world.”

“How can you humans live in such crowded conditions?” Cupiditas asked. “Surely this must be causing issues?”

“It sure does, blondie,” Todd laughed. “They even wrote a song about it back in the eighties for charity. We are the World or some shit like that.”

“That’s… That’s definitely not why they made that song.” I shook my head and then looked back at the succubi. “Surely Hell has the same problem?”

“Don’t call her Shirley,” Todd cackled, now completely in a baked-out state.

“Of course not,” Cupi answered. “There are billions, if not trillions, of people who are sent to Hell. Lucifer has developed ways of… Accommodating our guests so that we don’t have overcrowding problems.”

“That’s demon-speak for ‘chops them up into little pieces,’ isn’t it?” Todd asked.

“Something like that,” the blonde woman chuckled.

“People who end up in Hell wish it were that simple.” Cupiditas shuddered. “The kind of things they have to go through make getting chopped up into tiny pieces seem like a day at the beach.”

“Yo, Jakey.” Todd interrupted with a tap on the shoulder. “You got a text from your fuckbuddy.”

“What’s it say?” I asked.

“It’s got an eggplant with a bunch of water droplets and a mouth licking its lips,” Todd explained.

“Seriously?” I laughed.

“Of course not,” the imp giggled. “It says ‘They have found the one, and we are going to be starting around midnight. Please hurry.’ Then it has the coordinates for some place out in the middle of Muir Woods.”

“Mr. Masterson, set our course,” I joked.

“Yes, Captain Jakey, sir!” Todd replied and then started to tap at Shadow’s dashboard GPS.

The coordinates popped up on the display and showed that we were currently about thirty minutes away.

“Bro, you know what this means?” Todd snickered. “We get to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge.”

“The what?” Libidine asked.

“The Golden Gate Bridge,” I explained. “It’s this huge bridge that was built in the middle of the ocean. It’s one of the wonders of the modern world.”

“A bridge?” Sia didn’t sound impressed. “One of the greatest wonders of your world?”

“Hey, us mortals don’t all have magical Hellfire powers or giant, super-strong demons or supernatural pets,” I argued. “We have to settle for the things we accomplish with our own two hands, our creative minds, and our blood, sweat and tears. That bridge is one of those accomplishments.”

“‘Merica.” Todd added.

“We have a famous bridge, as well,” Liby spoke up. “It goes across the River of Souls and is guarded by a demon that the Egyptians called Xsf-Xmw.”

“Uh, is Liby having a stroke?” Todd asked.

“Exactly,” The curvy woman continued. “That’s why we just call him Xavier.”

“He’s actually quite friendly, once you get to know him.” Sia acknowledged. “His little unicorn horn is adorable, as well.”

“There’s a unicorn man guarding the main bridge in Hell?” I asked with a chuckle as I turned Shadow onto the exit for the Golden Gate Bridge.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cupi shot back. “He’s a demon with a deer head and a single horn. Unicorns don’t exist, sheesh.”

“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not.” I looked back at the fit blonde in the mirror.

“Bro, what if that’s the key to ending this war?” the baked-out Todd asked curiously. “Unicorns. Think about it. Humans have never seen them. Demons have never seen them. They could be the ultimate secret weapon. How fucking cool would it be to ride a motherfucking unicorn into battle?”

“Okay, I can officially say that one is the weed talking.” I smiled and shook my head in amusement.

“I was right about the demons, bro.” Todd crossed his arms. “Just sayin’.”

We drove for about ten more minutes, and then we saw the Golden Gate Bridge stretching out before us. It looked just like it did in all the pictures I’d ever seen of the structure. However, even the most detailed of pictures didn’t begin to do justice for this marvelous work of engineering. The Golden Gate Bridge stretched out across the bright blue water of the bay, its licorice-red arches towering over seven-hundred feet into the sky. From the top of each arch hung a pair of suspension cables that dipped into a downward curve before coming back up to reach the top of the second arch. It was now night time, but the entire bridge was illuminated by massive floodlights at its base.

Several cars zipped past Shadow as our vehicle entered the structure.

“That’s it?” Sia mused. “It’s just a bridge.”

“Maybe to you, Strawberry Shortcake.” Todd stood up and put his hand over his heart. “But to us it’s a symbol of the plight of man and his ability to overcome any obstacle put before him, a giant middle finger to Mother Nature herself.”

“Oh God,” I mumbled. “Todd’s getting philosophical. He must be hitting the good stuff.”

“And furthermore--” the imp continued, but I turned up the radio to block out his rambling.

Todd continued his scholarly rant for the rest of the trip. All the way across the bridge, all the way across the bay coastline, and all the way through Muir Woods until we finally arrived parallel to the location the GPS wanted us to go.

I pulled Shadow off the road and killed the engine.

“And that, my friends, is why the Pearl Harbor was an inside job,” Todd finished as the radio went dead. “Any questions?”

“Nope,” I chuckled as I opened up the door of the Jeep. “I think you explained everything crystal clear, Professor Todd.”

“Jacob, look.” Sia pointed out into the forest.

Off in the distance, through the line of massive redwood trees, I could faintly make out the flickering of a fire.

“You think that’s them?” Cupiditas asked cautiously.

“Who else would be all the way out there in the woods at this time of night?” I responded. “That’s gotta be the Cult of Azazel.”

The five of us slowly walked through the woods toward the campfire.

There were hardly any bugs in this part of the Golden State, so the night air was as silent as death. As we walked, we tried our best not to make a single sound. We tried to avoid stepping on any dead branches,  or tripping over any clumps of foliage, or tree roots, but traveling through the woods under the cover of night made that nearly impossible. Once we were about fifty feet away from the site, we paused.

The fire was roaring, but there was nobody there.

“What the fuck?” I whispered to my friends. “Do you think we’re just early?”

“Maybe Jane gave us the wrong coordinates?” Sia suggested.

“She wouldn’t do that.” I shook my head. “This has to be the right place.”

I went to take a step toward the fire, but Todd held out his hand to stop me.

“Hold up, bro,” he warned, and then he leaned down and pointed at a small undergrowth.

The imp shot a small ball of Hellfire at the foliage, and it went up in flames.

Hidden underneath was a perfect Key of Solomon.

“This whole place is loaded with demon traps, bro.” The imp motioned to the area surrounding the fire. “See? There’s an enchanted bone trap attached to a rope up in that tree. And there’s a bunch of woven crosses hung all along the back of this redwood here, just out of our sight.”

“How clever.” Sia clicked her tongue.

“Holy fuck, there are demon bottles everywhere!” Todd exclaimed as he shattered a couple of the vessels with his Hellfire. “Plus, check this out.”

The imp carefully walked over to the area in front of the fire, bent down, and tugged on what appeared to be a transparent string.

The second he did so, a large, spiked tree branch swung down from above. Todd was small enough that it missed him completely, but had the succubi or I been standing there, we would have become a shish kebab.

“Son of a bitch.” I turned around and kicked a branch in anger. “It was a trap!”

“A pretty ingenious one, too.” Todd put his hands on his hips and looked around with satisfaction. “There are Keys of Solomon all around the perimeter. The succubi and your friendly neighborhood Toddster would have been caught up in those, and then Jakey would have gotten taken out by one of the more conventional traps.”

“Did they really think a trip-wire was going to take me out?” I laughed. “I’m almost offended.”

Todd just shrugged. “Either the trip wire, or one of these.”

The imp tossed a rock onto the ground on the left side of the fire, and the tiny boulder stuck into a tarry black substance on the ground. Not a second later the fire pit was split open at the side, and a couple of large logs rolled out onto the tarry substance, setting it ablaze instantly.

“That could have been you, bro,” the imp warned.

“Nonsense.” I snorted. “I could have just teleported out of there like this.”

I reached down into my very being, conjured up feelings of disgust, and then aimed at the boulder.

Nothing happened.

“What the…” I was dumbfounded.

I tried again, but still, there was nothing.

“An anti-telekinetic hex.” Cupi sounded both horrified and impressed.

“Can they do that?” I asked in surprise.

“It’s an ancient magic known only to Charron, but I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that Azazel’s followers know of it,” Sia explained. “He was always one for bending the rules for his own convenience.”

“So wait,” I said as I tried to wrap my mind around what was going on. “If anti-magical hexes exist, then why haven’t we tried using them on any of the demons we’ve fought?”

“Two reasons,” the redhead continued, “One, these spells are meant to protect against demonic and divine entities. They can only be cast by a mortal or one who can travel across the Realms, such as Charron. Two, they are counter-intuitive for magic users like ourselves because they would also take away our own abilities. Finally, and this is the most important one… Charron is the only one who is familiar with this spell. Azazel must have bribed him into teaching it to his followers.”

“Do you think Jane set us up?” Cupiditas spat angrily.

“She is the one who sent us the false coordinates,” Liby grumbled.

I shook my head back and forth. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“That’s right,” Todd called from the other side of the fire, “She believed in the power of your penis!”

“I think there’s more to it than--” I began to argue.

“Power of your penis!” the imp cackled back. “Sounds like my band’s next big single.”

“Why don’t you call her?” Sia suggested. “If she really has decided to betray you, then she won’t answer. Not to mention, it would show her that you outsmarted their trap, and that you’ll be coming for them.”

“Good idea,” I said as I pulled out my phone and punched Jane’s name in my contacts list.

I clicked the button, and the display on my phone lit up blue with her number. The line rang for a second or so, and then I heard the sound of somebody picking up the phone.

“Yellow?” I heard Todd’s voice on the other side of the line.

“What the--” I stuttered. “Todd?”

I looked up and saw the imp standing across the way, waving as he held the cell phone to his ear.

“I saw this thing go off on the ground over here,” he explained. “I figured it must have been something really important, considering my best friend Jakey was on the other line.”

“Aw shucks,” I half-joked as I hung up the phone and then looked at the succubi somberly. “This is bad.”

“So she wasn’t trying to set us up?” Libidine asked.

“No, Liby.” I shook my head. “Even worse. I think she was found out, and now she’s in danger.”

“Where else could the cult be holding their ritual?” Cupiditas pondered. “If we find them, we will almost certainly find Jane.”

Sia slapped her palm to her forehead. “How could I have been so foolish?” she muttered.

“What’s wrong, sister?” Libidine asked as she put a hand on the redhead’s tender shoulder.

“I don’t remember much from my limited interactions with the cult,” the madame explained. “But I do remember them saying something about performing their most sacred of rituals ‘as close to the Heavens as possible.’ Azazel liked to laugh about the spiteful irony.”

“They couldn’t have gotten too far, considering Jane’s battery was still alive.” I nodded. “What’s the tallest building in San Francisco?”

“The internet says it’s the Salesforce Tower,” Todd said as he tapped away at Jane’s phone. “It’s over one-thousand feet tall, and it has a perfectly flat roof. Perfect for demonic rituals.”

“Then that’s where we need to go.” I turned around and motioned for my friends to follow behind me.

These fuckers were already going to die for trying to bring back Azazel. But now, they had one of my women, and I was going to make them suffer dearly.

Chapter 17

The drive back from Muir Woods was unusually tense.

Now, we were literally in a race against time to stop the conception of the Nephilim and to rescue our newfound friend.

Silence enveloped Shadow’s interior.  Even Todd, the imp who normally always had something witty to say, was silent and somber. He just sat there in the passenger seat, tapping his foot on the leather interior and taking a pull from his joint every now and again. He was either on edge about our situation, or he was just completely baked.

The three succubi sat in the backseat of the vehicle, and they each wore a look of concern as they watched the beautiful coastline pass them by.

We crossed back over the Golden Gate Bridge at  breakneck speed, and finally found ourselves in the metropolitan area of the city.

“It’ll be okay, everyone,” I weakly promised. “We’ve still got almost an hour until the ceremony starts, and I’m sure Jane is still alive. She gave me a run for her money in battle, so just imagine what she did to a bunch of weakling cultists.”

“I would second that sentiment.” Sia finally spoke up. “The Cult of Azazel is undyingly loyal to their brethren. They wouldn’t just kill one of their own even though she betrayed them.”

“Then where do you think she is?” I asked as we drove down the streets of San Francisco. “At the tower with the rest of those assholes?”

“I’d bet money on it.” The redhead nodded in agreement. “Though I don’t know what they intend to do with her.”

“I do,” Cupiditas said grimly. “She’ll probably be sent to be ‘reformed’ like Sister Tris and I were when we would misbehave.”

“Reformed?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s just fancy talk for ‘tortured until we promised not to do it again,’” Libidine growled. “My sisters would be gone for days at a time when they were being reformed.”

“Azazel and his minions found that fear was a good way to keep people in line,” Superbia explained. “There’s a reason that all of his succubi are familiar with their fear powers, even if some of us refuse to use them.”

The succubi’s words caused a fiery rage to simmer up from the very core of my being.

“They are dangerous, sister,” Libidine argued. “Ira’s magic destroyed an entire island, Cupi’s black fire sent her to purgatory, and mine--”

“Let’s not even talk about it.” Cupiditas interrupted. “Unfortunately, we can’t all have the same control as Pride over here.”

“I couldn’t control it at first either, girls,” the madame explained. “But being the mediator between Azazel, Earl, and his succubi, I had to learn very quickly.”

“Lucky you,” Cupi grumbled.

“What are your black Hellfire powers, Jacob?” she asked. “I’ve never seen you try to use them before.”

“The Shadow World,” I said as my temples throbbed.

“Oh.” Sia responded fearfully. “I understand. Say no more.”

“Jacob,” Libidine gasped, “Your horns--”

“They’re huge!” Cupiditas exclaimed.

I reached up and felt the appendage on the right side of my head. The succubi were right, it felt like the blue horns had nearly doubled in size from the last time they appeared.

Then again, I had made multiple new connections since then.

“I didn’t even realize I’d summoned them,” I said in disbelief.

“It’s okay, bro,” Todd joked. “Popping ‘em randomly is all just part of puberty. It’s completely natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. You’ll be able to control it better when you get older.”

“Welcome back to the world of the living.” I looked back over the seat at the imp.

Todd stood up in the seat and stretched.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized. “I was just coming down from a maaaaajor high. But now I’m just fucking starving. Can we stop for some donuts?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “We have to get to the Salesforce Tower and stop the Nephilim from being conceived. And find out what happened to Jane.”

“Bro,” Todd begged. “Dunkin Donuts has a drive-thru.”

“Let’s stop Lucifer from single-handedly winning the war for the fate of the universe,” I chuckled. “Then maybe we can stop for donuts.”

“Fuck yeah!” the imp pumped his fist into the air.

As Shadow rounded the corner of Market Street and 1st, there it was. The Salesforce Tower. The exterior of the building was made entirely out of chrome and glass, and even in the darkness it reflected the lights from the surrounding buildings. Lights from the tower’s interior illuminated the dark building and created a checkerboard pattern all the way up its sixty-one stories. It kind of looked like a thick blue pencil with a white graphite tip, and it was much taller than the surrounding buildings.

“Finding a parking spot at this time of night is going to be a bitch,” Todd sighed. “Not that I have any change for the meter, anyway.”

“What year do you live in?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“The current one.” Todd shrugged. “I dunno what the big deal is. Credit cards are way easier for the government to track, so I’m a cash-only type of imp.”

“I don’t think we’re going to have to worry about a meter.” I pointed to a small spot up ahead on the sidewalk, between the road and a set of chrome bollards. It was going to be a tight fit, but it would be just large enough for the Jeep Wrangler.

“Up on the sidewalk?” Libidine asked. “That’s not a parking spot, is it? There are no little lines that tell you where--”

“Exactly!” I smiled. “We’re gonna make our own space.”

“Won’t we get a ticket if we park there?” the imp asked in horror. “I can’t have the popo going through my stuff in this car! We could go to prison for years.”

“How much weed do you have back there?” I asked.

“It’s not the weed bro,” Todd muttered. “I’ve got much worse stuff back there. Like--”

I held up a hand to cut him off. “I don’t even want to know. You do still have your Vatican texts though, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t see how--” he started.

“We can use the concealing hex we encountered at the Chapel and in Tonto,” Cupi cut him off. “It’ll make our car invisible.”

“Just what I was thinking, Cupi,” I chuckled. “This isn’t a high-traffic area, and it’s the middle of the night, so we shouldn’t have to worry about anyone walking into her. It’ll make the perfect hiding spot for Shadow.”

“But how are we gonna make her go all invisible?” Todd asked. “Those were counter-curses that revealed hexed stuff, not the actual spell itself.”

“I’m shocked.” The blonde seemed to be at a loss for words. “Something related to the occult that Todd doesn’t know?”

“Stop the presses!” Libidine laughed.

I double-checked to make sure there was nobody in our immediate vicinity, and then I pulled our four door Jeep Wrangler up onto the sidewalk and into our makeshift space between the road and the bollards.

“Get your book, Todd,” Cupi ordered as she opened her door. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Todd scurried out of the passenger seat and dashed to the rear of the vehicle.

“I love the way you say that, sister,” Liby cooed.

“Hex now, flirt later,” I joked as I got out of the vehicle and followed Cupi back to the bed of Shadow.

The imp’s hind end stuck out comically as he dug through the heap of stuff in the back of the Jeep. Then he finally pushed himself out, landed on the sidewalk, and then began to flip through the ancient book quickly.

“We really gotta think about cleaning that shit out,” Todd laughed. “Shadow’s getting an awful lot of junk in the trunk, and not in a good way.”

“Junk in the trunk?” Sia asked, completely oblivious to what the term meant.

“It’s one of those things where it has a literal and a figurative meaning,” Libidine explained. “It means she has a large ass.”

“Hmm.” The madame pondered as she grabbed her own butt. “I most certainly don’t have that problem.”

“Just remember,” Todd giggled. “It doesn’t have to be large to make you in charge.”

I continued to look around nervously for anyone who might spot us, and then I reached into the tailgate and grabbed our duffel bag.

“Aha!” The imp slapped his finger down on the page and then handed the book to Cupi. “Show me how it’s done, oh great master of magic.”

“For spoken spells, you can create a counter curse by using an anagram of the original words,” the blonde explained.

“I think I remember that from high school!” The imp exclaimed. “That’s the little shape with parallel sides, right?”

“Doesn’t that just create jibberish?” I asked, completely ignoring Todd’s words.

The blonde nodded. “Why do you think talking with your tongue is a thing?”

“Uh, I think you mean ‘speaking in tongues,’” Todd corrected with a raised finger.

“Speaking in tongues creates a counter-curse?” I questioned curiously.

“Watch and learn.” The fit succubus winked and then held the book out in front of her.

Cupi closed her eyes, and then from her mouth spouted words that sounded Latin but were completely unrecognizable to my ear. As she spoke, a dull humming sound filled the surrounding air, and the Earth almost felt as if it were trembling.

“It’s working!” Libidine said in shock.

Slowly, but surely, Shadow was disappearing. It started with the tires and then spread out across the entire body of the vehicle. A few seconds later, the Jeep was completely gone, and Cupi’s chant went silent.

“Told you I could do it.” She shrugged.

“You’re going to have to teach me how to do that,” I mumbled in awe. “That was amazing.”

“I know. Why do you think people keep saying my tongue is so legendary?” Cupi winked playfully.

“Probably for the fellatio,” Sia chimed in.

“Well, that’s true as well,” Cupiditas purred.

“Here,” I opened up the duffel bag and held it out to the blonde. “I’m almost certain we’ll need it again.”

Cupi nodded and slipped the old book into the carrier.

I turned around to Todd and playfully opened the bag.

“For old time’s sake?” I joked.

“Does it still smell like your gym shorts?” Todd shook his head and chuckled. “No thank you. I’d much rather run around incognito or get all tingly with the green fire.”

I looked down the street at the towering skyscraper.

Atop the building was a large light fixture that wrapped around the entire structure and could be adjusted to any color the programmer desired. Currently, it was a bright red.

How fitting.

“Do you think you can teleport us up there, Jacob?” Liby asked as she pointed to the glowing red light. “That’s got to be where the ceremony is happening.”

“I can give it the ‘ol college try,” I retorted.

“So you’re gonna get blackout drunk and then have no idea what the fuck you’re doing?” Todd giggled.

“I think our college experiences were really different, Todd.” I shook my head and reached out with my right hand.

I closed my eyes and pictured the top of the building. I thought about how those assholes in the navy robes had kidnapped some innocent woman off the street, and how they were going to force her to carry Azazel’s baby. They also had Jane, and I worried about the kind of fucked up “rehabilitation” they were going to put her through if I didn’t make it up there in time or if we failed.

The thoughts made me physically ill.

My horns were still jutting out of my head, and I could feel them pulsating as the Hellfire coursed through me.

“Uh, bro?” Todd asked in a confused tone. “I’m not getting that trippy, tingly sensation like I normally do.”

“Damn it,” Cupiditas swore. “It must be another anti-telekinetic hex.”

“They really don’t want us getting up there,” I growled as I opened my eyes. “Can one of you fly us up?”

“Jacob, look!” Superbia’s concerned voice ordered.

The redheaded succubus pointed up at the top of the tower as a large wave of purple Hellfire spread around it in a circular pattern.

“That answers that question.” I shook my head and motioned toward the ground floor of the building. “It looks like we’re going to have to do this the old fashioned way.”

I took a step in the direction of the Salesforce Tower, but I stopped when I heard a loud “ahem” from behind me. I turned around and saw Todd shooting me a disapproving expression.

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Jakey?” He reached up and tapped his broken horn.

I mirrored the imp’s motion and felt my own blue horn protruding out of my head.

“I guess that doesn’t really make for a good disguise, now does it?” I chuckled. “But how the hell do I get rid of them? They usually just go away on their own.”

“I like to think about baseball,” Todd suggested. “Or my grandma. That usually does the trick.”

“Your grandma?” Libidine sounded disgusted.

“Relax, Lib,” Todd snickered. “I only think about her when I’m trying to get rid of it, not when I’m trying to get one. Now, Jacob’s mom, on the other hand--”

“New topic,” Cupiditas interjected as she turned to me. “If you’re powerful enough to turn your powers on and off at whim, then all you have to do is clear your mind and order them to retract.”

“So it is like getting a boner!” Todd exclaimed.

“Just try it,” the fit blonde put her hand on my chest lovingly. “Think of things that make you calm.”

“I’m already off to a good start.” I smiled and put my hand over Cupi’s.

I closed my eyes and thought back to the beautiful sunset we’d encountered on the beach back in New England. Images of the succubi cuddled up with me inside of our six-person sleeping bag darted through my mind and brought back happy memories. Although I could feel my passion for the beautiful women simmering deep inside, what I was visualizing wasn’t related to sex whatsoever. Instead, the thoughts brought me tranquility.

For the first time in a long time, I was at peace.

I pictured my horns retracting back into my head, and the throbbing in my temples told me that they were responding to my wishes.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Cupi asked playfully.

“Not at all.” I ran my hand across the blonde’s face tenderly. “I just thought about you guys.”

“Me too?” Todd asked eagerly.

“Sure thing, bro.” I nodded to the imp and then turned back in the direction of the tower. “Now let’s get up there and kick some cultist ass!”

We had parked only a few blocks away from the main entrance to the Salesforce Tower, and we were upon its front doors in minutes.

I pushed through the revolving turnstyle of a door and stumbled into the main lobby of the tower.

This place looked just as fancy on the inside as it did on the outside.

Directly in front of me was a large wall that was made up entirely of television screens. Currently they sat blank, but I was sure that they were quite the spectacle to behold when they were turned on. The ceilings had to have been at least thirty feet tall, and bright square lights seemed to line the border at two feet intervals. All around us, the furniture was simplistic and modern, but it also looked like it cost an arm and a leg. Directly in front of the wall of screens sat a white desk with a small black sculpture on each side.

Most importantly, there was a pair of chrome elevator doors on both sides of the desk.

A large, muscular man in a navy suit and red tie sat behind the counter, and just on top of his wide nose sat a pair of aviator sunglasses. As we approached, he raised a curious eyebrow at our motley crew.

“We’re closed,” he grumbled with a deep voice.

“Oh, I know.” I smiled and leaned against the desk. “Me and my project team here have a really important proposal due tomorrow, and the only way it’s going to get done is by pulling an all-nighter. You know how that is, don’t you?”

The man remained stone-faced despite my banter.

“I’m sorry, guys,” the large man mumbled. “But I have direct orders from security not to let people in right now. They’re doing some sort of top-secret training exercise, and they’ve shut down the elevators completely.”

“Then we’ll take the stairs, I guess.” I stood up from the desk and pointed across the room. “They’re over there, right?”

The bulky man got up from his chair, and I realized just how massive he was. His mammoth frame was at least double the width of my body, and he was a good foot and a half taller than I was.

“I said nobody gets in,” he reiterated.

“Excuse me?” Libidine jumped into the conversation as she slid between the guard and me.

The man looked at the curvy succubus, and a snarl arose on his face.

“Look, mister-- Andras.” Liby squinted to read his nametag. “We mean you no harm. We just want to get up to our office so we can finish this big project we’ve been working on.”

“No.” The guard’s brow furrowed as the words escaped his mouth.

Liby leaned in closer to the man, and her violet eyes began to glow.

“My friends and I would appreciate it if you would let us through,” she ordered. “We have a very important deadline to make.”

The man was very difficult to read. Although Liby was using her mind control powers on the guard, his expression remained unchanged, and his body was still completely tensed up. After a few seconds of tense silence, the guard spoke up.

“The answer is still no,” he growled.

“Can we speak to this head of security?” Sia interrupted. “I’m sure he would understand if we just explained our predicament.”

The guard stood there and thought about the madame’s words. I saw his eyes dart back and forth between the succubi and me for a moment, but then he finally shrugged.

“Why not?” He shrugged, and then a knowing smile spread across his face. “The boss did want me to notify him if anybody tried to get in. And I think he will most certainly want to meet you four.”

The bulky man fumbled around in his pocket for his cell phone, pulled it out, and then dialed a combination of numbers into the display. He stepped away to speak with his boss, and I used this as an opportunity to address my friends.

“What the hell happened back there?” I asked Libidine.

“My spell didn’t work on him, and I think we all know why,” the dark-haired woman explained.

“It’s because he’s totally a demon,” Todd’s disembodied voice whispered. “Like, he’s not even trying to hide that fact. Who the fuck wears their latin demon name on their company name tag?”

“Somebody who doesn’t give a shit about being caught.” I nodded. “I’m sure they’re expecting us.”

“Or they think we are all splattered across Muir Woods,” Cupi argued. “We need to think about our next move carefully.”

“I say we just go out, pick up a tanker full of gasoline, and then throw it into the building,” Todd suggested.

“We can’t do that.” I shook my head. “There are lights on all over in this building, which means it’s full of innocent people. And besides, this is a rescue mission. Killing these cultist assholes is just an added bonus.”

“I think we should kill this guy while we still have the element of surprise on our hands,” Cupi said eagerly.

“Personally, I say we hear out his boss.” Sia shrugged. “Andras obviously knows who we are, yet he hasn’t tried to kill us yet. Why?”

“I’m inclined to agree with you, Sia.” I nodded. “Worst case scenario is that we actually meet this boss of his, we don’t like him, and then we fuck up his and this demon’s day.”

“I’ll do whatever Jacob wants to do,” Libidine agreed. “We swore to stick with him through the thick and the thin, no matter how difficult it may be. This idea could go either way.”

“Thanks, Liby,” I only half-joked.

“He’s on his way,” the muscular man called out. “But don’t think that means you can go wandering off on your own. You’re still staying right where you are.”

“Sure thing, Mr. Andras.” I gave the demon-in-disguise a salute. “We won’t move a muscle.”

I pulled out my cell phone and glanced at the time. It was now eleven, and the ceremony was set to begin at midnight.

If this asshole didn’t get down here soon, we were going to have to go with Cupi’s plan B.

We waited in the main lobby for only a few minutes before our group started to grow impatient.

“Can’t I please just light him up with a fireball?” Cupiditas begged. “We can be in and out of this whole mission in like, ten minutes if I do that.”

“Yeah, bro,” Todd agreed. “I’m starting to get really bored. If I’d known we were going to be sitting around with our thumbs up our asses, I would have brought some cards. Or some of those vintage Playboys from the back of the Jeep.”

“Are those things even still readable?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’d have thought the pages were all stuck together by now.”

“I’m almost offended,” Todd’s voice laughed. “Those things are collector’s items. I only slap the salami to internet porn nowadays.”

“So you’re saying that you only read it for the articles?” I chuckled. “Somehow I don’t believe you.”

“Believe what you want, bro.” Todd snickered. “I--”

“It is you!” A voice echoed from across the lobby.

I stood up and saw a figure in a robe approaching us from afar.

As the man got closer, I could see that he was wearing the standard uniform of the cult. The only difference was that his robe had a large crimson “A” embroidered onto the front.

Andras’ boss looked to be a man  at least in his fifties. His face was wrinkled, and the messy hair that sat atop his head was as white as snow. The cultist had a slight hobble to his gait as he walked, and it almost looked like something out of a cartoon.

“Jacob Ralston.” He smiled. “You’re even more impressive in the flesh. And your succubi are even lovelier than the stories make them out to be.”

“Thank you, Oliver,” Sia sighed.

“I hope Andras here wasn’t too rough with you,” the man laughed. “He has a tendency to act all big and tough, but he’s just a marquis of Hell. No higher than a soldier or a succubus on Lucifer’s hierarchy.”

“Wait, just what the fuck is going on right now?” I was very confused.

“Oh, where are my manners?” The man smacked his head playfully and then extended his hand.

“My name is Oliver, and I’m the leader of the Cult of Azazel. I want to talk to you about some business, Mr. Ralston.”

Chapter 18

I felt a dull rage building up from within me.

“You’re the asshole responsible for all this?” I growled as I summoned red Hellfire into my hands. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t toast your ass into a crisp right here and now.”

I promised myself that I’d keep my cool, but standing face to face with the man responsible for all of our recent hardships triggered my anger.

Oliver retracted his hand. “Now, now, Mr. Ralston,” he said as he held out his hands, “there’s no need for violence.”

“Brrroooo,” Todd turned visible again. “You and your friends just literally tried to trap us and skewer Jacob alive. If that’s your idea of pacifism, I really want to see what you think violence is.”

“Ohh!” the white-haired man jumped giddily. “You brought the imp along!”

“I’m gonna give you about five more seconds before I rip you to shreds,” I warned. “You’d better start talking. Now.”

“You see?” Oliver clicked his tongue. “The imp throws around words like ‘skewer’ and ‘trap’ when I like to view it more as a… test, of sorts.”

“A test?” I raised my eyebrow. “You’ve just bought yourself a few more seconds.”

“For over ten thousand years this cult has followed the teachings of Azazel, and with good cause,” he explained. “But for a while now I’ve felt that we’ve needed to go in a new direction. When the news reached me that you’d defeated the King of the Fourth Circle, it all but confirmed my intuition.”

“So you have disavowed Azazel?” Sia asked.

“Excuse me, succubus,” Oliver’s eyes narrowed as the words slipped out, “I’m talking to your master, not you.”

A familiar throbbing sensation pulsed through my temples as rage filled my body.

In a fury, I walked over to the old fucker, wrapped my non-fiery hand around his throat, and lifted him up into the air.

Oliver let out a gasp, but he didn’t seem to be intimidated by my action. Instead he started to laugh.

“Look, you wiry-haired asshole,” I snarled. “Azazel may have let you talk to his women like that, but I won’t. You get one last chance. I’d suggest you use it wisely.”

“You are perfect!” Oliver coughed. “You have the power, the demeanor, and the initiative we are looking for.”

“Whoa…” Todd said as he stared at the scene in front of him. “Are those crocs and socks?”

“What?” I turned back to look at the imp.

“They’re standard issue for the Cult of Azazel,” Oliver choked. “We used to wear roman sandals, but then they invented this excellent piece of footwear.”

“Socks and crocs?” Libidine sounded dumbfounded. “That’s the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen. And I fought alongside Beelzebub.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it, Lib,” Todd laughed. “I dig the grandpa-chic. It’s coming back in style, you know.”

“Maybe this really is the final phase of the war,” Libidine sighed. “I don’t think I could live in a universe where that is acceptable.”

“Let’s keep it on topic here,” I reminded my friends and then turned my head back to Oliver. “He’s gonna run out of air here pretty soon, and I want answers.”

“Jacob…” the robed man wheezed. “I want you to be our new leader.”

“Why the fuck should I trust you?” I sneered. “You kidnapped Jane.”

“Kidnapped?” he shook his head. “It was her idea to be outed and captured!”

I released my grip on Oliver, and he fell comically down onto the floor.

“So she’s okay?” I asked and decast my red Hellfire.

“She’s more than okay.” The man rubbed his throat where I had held him. “She’s going to help you stop the ritual.”

“I’m not gonna lie, guys.” Todd scratched his hair in confusion. “I’m really fucking lost here.”

“Don’t worry,” I reassured the imp. “So am I. Aren’t you the leader of the entire cult? Why can’t you just call it all off?”

“Unfortunately, many of my brothers and sisters do not share my sentiments,” Oliver stood back up on his feet. “Even though you have defeated Azazel in one-on-one combat, they are convinced that we should follow a true demon and not a mere mortal.”

“Why can’t you just overrule them?” Todd questioned.

Oliver looked offended. “Because when our master is gone, the Cult of Azazel reverts into a democracy. I’m a leader, not a dictator. Jane and I were outvoted.”

“Jacob is far from a mere mortal,” Cupiditas argued.

“I know that.” Oliver nodded. “When Jane came to me and told me about your little confrontation out in Arizona, I knew it was time to make the change. I’ve set it up so that my brethren can witness your awesome power firsthand.”

“The traps in the woods?” I asked.

“Of course!” he laughed. “I brought in the best demonologists from our sects across the world and then told them that it was imperative that we killed you and captured your succubi.”

“So you did still try to kill us,” I growled and clenched my fists.

“The danger was real, but I knew it’d pose no threat to someone like yourself.” He waved off my accusation. “By escaping, you have displayed your masterful knowledge of the occult. Now, all that is left is for the Cult of Azazel to bear witness to your Hellfire.”

“What about that hot chick’s phone?” Todd asked as he picked his teeth with his claws. “We found it lying on the ground out in the middle of the forest.”

“We had to raise the stakes,” Oliver explained. “So Jane came up with the idea to let herself get caught and subsequently captured. Once my brethren see what you can do when you’re determined to save someone you love, they will all bow down to you. That is a promise.”

“Why should we believe anything you say?” Sia interrogated. “You’ve served Azazel faithfully for years. How do we know this isn’t just an elaborate trap?”

“Superbia, Superbia,” the robed man laughed at her words. “You don’t have to believe me. You can kill me right where I stand, and it wouldn’t matter to me.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Cupiditas warned.

“All that matters is that you take your rightful place at the head of this Cult. When this group was created, it was with one intent- To worship the most powerful being on Earth. For thousands of years that was Azazel.”

“And now?” I continued.

Oliver put his hand on my shoulder. “Now, I believe that being is you, Jacob Ralston. I will serve you until the day I die.”

“So like, five years?” Todd cackled.

“I’m seven-hundred years old!” Oliver hissed back. “My magic can only do so much for my looks at this point.”

“I still don’t trust you.” I was frank with the man. “Even if I did, I would never want to be the head of this cult. You people are murderers, criminals, rapists--”

“Is that what you really think of us?” The white-haired man asked in a shocked tone. “For the most part, we are simple folk, with real jobs and real lives. We have just devoted ourselves to a higher cause. We do slaughter the occasional beast for our blood rituals, but outside of that we only kill when attacked, or when we are ordered to by our master.”

“So you’re just following orders,” I sneered. “Where have I heard that one before?”

“If you wish us to disband or commit mass suicide, so be it.” Oliver shrugged.

“I’m not sure if Jakey has enough Kool-Aide for that,” Todd chuckled.

“I would advise against that, Jacob,” Cupi implored. “They may be evil people, but it would be really nice to have an army of magic users under your command.”

“I agree with Cupiditas.” Sia nodded. “Think of how much help an army would be for our mission.”

“We make a great team,” Libidine spoke up, “but we can only be at one place at a single time.”

“Precisely.” Sia continued. “With proper management, we could be slaying ten times the amount of demons we are now!”

I rubbed my chin as I thought about this predicament.

On one hand, I really didn’t want to be associated with a group of murders, no matter the context. On the other, we could be using these guys to our advantage.

Was I willing to sell my soul to achieve ultimate victory?

“If I may interject, master?” Oliver spoke up. “The fact of the matter is that there is a possession ceremony starting in about forty minutes. Your girlfriend has been captured, and one of the local woman is about to be impregnated with the seed of Azazel. All I ask is that you go and show everyone your skills by stopping this ceremony and rescuing your woman. After that, the rest of my brothers and sisters will fall in line, and you may do with us as you please.”

“Fine,” I agreed. “We have to stop this ceremony, anyway. I’ll figure out what I’m going to do with you after we’re done.”

I turned to go towards the elevator, but Oliver stuck up a hand to stop me.

“Oh, nonono.” He chuckled. “The elevator cords have been severed. Did you really think I was going to make your final test that easy?”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” I asked the man. “We have to go up sixty flights of stairs?”

“Sixty flights of stairs that are guarded by some of our greatest magic users,” the white-haired man corrected.

“I should kill you just for that,” I grumbled and then motioned for my friends to follow me over to the staircase.

“Good luck, master!” Oliver called as we walked away. “Andras and I will be patiently awaiting your return.”

“So, what do you guys think?” I asked the group. “Do you think he’s just bullshitting us?”

“If he wanted us dead, he would have had Andras try to kill us the second we entered the lobby,” Sia mused. “He obviously wanted to speak to us in person.”

“And if Oliver really is the leader of the entire Cult of Azazel, he’s probably no slouch with magic himself,” Libidine added. “The fact that they both let us walk away makes me think he’s telling the truth.”

“We just have to survive the onslaught of cultists that are waiting for us,” I sighed. “That should be a walk in the park.”

“But think of how awesome it’s gonna be once you make them your bitches!” Todd implored. “On top of killing demons, we can have these dudes and dudettes do all of our chores and day-to-day bullshit that we don’t want to do.”

“I don’t think we’re going to be using the Cult of Azazel to pick up our dry cleaning, Todd,” I laughed.

“The Cult of Ralston,” Cupiditas corrected.

“I do like the sound of that.” I nodded.

“Bro!” Todd giggled. “I just remembered that this is a coed cult that worships demons. The Toddster is gonna be drowning in pussy when they convert over to our side.”

“I don’t think--” I started.

“And once we get these guys on our side, they can go out and convert all the other cults in the world.” Todd continued. “You’ll keep getting stronger and more badass, and then so will I. According to the transitive property.”

“I’m surprised you are familiar with that concept, Todd,” Sia chuckled.

The imp shrugged. “I may be a stoner, but I wasn’t that bad of a student.”

Finally we arrived at the large gray fire door that led to the staircase. I quietly pushed it open and then peeked my head around to observe the situation.

All I could see were the white concrete walls and the pale handrails that sprawled all the way up to the roof of the tower. The entire staircase was arranged in the traditional square pattern, without any sort of opening between the floors.

“Well damn,” I whispered. “I was hoping one of you could fly us straight up, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.”

“Looks like we’re gonna have to Ghostbusters this shit.” Todd nodded. “Hopefully Azazel isn’t going to ask us to choose a traveler.”

“I don’t think--”

“Because if he does, I’m totally choosing some super-hot anime chick.” Todd warned. “Just thought I’d let you guys know.”

I glanced at my phone and saw that we now had twenty-seven minutes before the ceremony began. I took a deep breath as I looked up the staircase once more.

“Are you guys ready?” I looked around at my friends.

“As ready as we will ever be.” Sia nodded.

“With you ‘till the end, Jakey,” Todd added.

“Alright,” I said as I turned to go up the stairs. “Then let’s go kick some cultist ass.”

Chapter 19

A cramped stairwell was definitely not the ideal location for a climactic battle for the fate of the universe, but we had to play the hand that we were dealt.

The five of us dashed up the stairs as quickly as we could, and our footsteps resonated off the concrete with each step we took. There was no time for stealth or for loitering.

We were going to have to push our way up to the roof through brute force.

I had my red Hellfire in my hands, and a glow of yellow, blue, and black from my peripheral vision told me the succubi were also prepared to fight. As we rounded each corner of the staircase, I held out my arm like it was a cocked rifle, ready to blast the first cultist we came across.

“Down there!” I heard a man’s voice echo from above. “Somebody’s coming!”

“Here we go, guys.” I nodded to my friends.

The first cultist to appear didn’t know what hit him. The second he was in our sights, he was assaulted with an onslaught of colorful Hellfire. His eyes widened as he tried to toss up a shield, but he was much too slow. His blood and ashes splattered across the white wall like a twisted Pollock painting, and all that remained of his body were a pair of legs severed at the knee.

“Jacob, look out!” Cupiditas screamed, and then a wave of her blue flame shot upward.

I looked up to see that the blonde succubus had caught a ball of Hellfire in the air, and then I saw Sia’s black flames lurch into the sky.

The madame’s spell caught the attacker in the face and hurled him into the underside of the staircase above him. A wet crack rang out as his neck twisted violently, and his spine shot out through his skin. His body fell onto the ground and tumbled down onto the landing.

We went up another five or six flights, and then we heard the clicking of footsteps.

“Todd!” I commanded. “Ricochet.”

“Got it, Jakey,” he nodded.

I tossed out a diagonal wall of purple flames onto the landing in front of us.

At the same time, Todd cackled and unleashed a hailstorm of snowball-sized Hellfire.

The imp’s barrage struck my shield and then bounced up into the next line of stairs. We heard screams of pain from above, and then three flaming bodies spilled down onto the landing.

“Hold them!” I pointed to the cultists as they writhed in agony.

Cupiditas, Sia, and I unleashed a combined onslaught, a veritable rainbow of Hellfire, and the fuckers were engulfed with gouts of purple, blue, and black. We kept it going for a few more seconds, and then the men inside the flames were burnt to a crisp.

We then calmly stepped over the dead bodies and then continued ascending the tower.

As we hit the landing of the twentieth floor, a gray door flew open, and a bunch of yellow spears shot toward us. Seconds before we were impaled by the attack, I threw up a violet barrier.

The spears hit the wall and fell to the ground harmlessly as Todd ducked down and unleashed a slew of fireballs from underneath the cover of my shield.

The cultists were able to slam the fire door back shut, but mere mundane metal still wasn’t going to be near strong enough to withstand the blast as it was blown off its hinges.

Todd ran out into the main room and continued to launch Hellfire at his fleeing targets.

“It was getting really crowded in there, anyway,” he shouted back at me. “I’ll Rambo these fuckers and then meet you up there!”

“I’ll go with Todd,” Cupi said with a sigh. “He’s bound to need help at some point.”

“You sure?” I asked, but then I heard more commotion from above.

“Yes.” The blonde nodded. “We’ll get up there, don’t worry.”

“You’re a badass warrior woman from Hell, Cupi,” I quipped with a grin. “I’m more worried that you’ll miss out on all the fun.”

“I’ll make my own, then.” She winked and then ran through the hole where the door once stood.

Sia, Liby, and I charged upward at our attackers, and I pulled the goat-headed dagger out of my duffel bag.

As soon as the first fucker was in sight, I threw the knife directly into his eye socket. He screamed in pain, fumbled at the hilt, and then pulled it out, releasing a river of viscera onto the stairs. The three cultists that were with him slipped on the slimy gore, fell down, and then comically tried to pull themselves back up on their feet.

That was all the time we needed.

Sia and I both blasted the group with red Hellfire, and they were dead in seconds.

I was careful not to slip on the gory scene myself as I walked up and reclaimed my dagger from the heap of remains. Then I turned back to help my friends, and my mouth fell agape in surprise.

“Sia,” I stuttered and pointed to her head. “You have your horns!”

The madame’s headwear was very different from any of the ones I’d seen so far. They were black with a tiny hint of a reddish glow with a thick base that stuck out of her forehead instead of her temples as with the others before they narrowed as they curled downward like the horns of one of those big ass goats.

“It was going to happen at some point.” Sia shrugged. “I’m just glad I earned them back by fighting at your side, Jacob.”

We passed by the thirty-second floor, and I could feel myself starting to become winded. I stopped for a second, doubled over, and rested my hands on my knees.

“Whew,” I gasped. “Remind me to do more cardio when we get back to the mansion. Aren’t you guys tired?”

“Not at all.” Libidine giggled. “Succubi hearts are made to never get tired from physical activity, for obvious reasons.”

“Of course,” I huffed.

“There!” I heard one of the cultists call from above.

The three of us rolled out of the way just as a wave of yellow daggers stabbed into the landing.

I tumbled down the stairs, but I was able to catch myself before anything was broken. Without looking, I fired a wave of Hellfire up at our attackers and then stood up to reorient myself.

Sia and Libidine were both pulling themselves off the ground as the cultists attacked, and I was forced to throw up a wall of purple flames to protect them.

The blue and red fire reflected off the shield and smashed harmlessly into the wall.

Sia clapped her hands together and rubbed them repeatedly as she charged up a large red Hellfire attack. She looked over at me and nodded, and I knew exactly what to do. The madame threw her hands forward right as I dispelled my violet barrier.

A giant blast of Hellfire struck the stairs at the feet of the Cultists.

The three of them just looked down and laughed.

“Missed us, asshole!” one of them called down as he readied another attack.

“Did I?” Sia smirked.

As if on cue, the stairs melted beneath the men and sent them falling twenty feet down onto the concrete below. There were a couple of wet pops as they collided with the rock-solid floor, but their groans of pain told us that the attack hadn’t been fatal.

Libidine stood up, leaned over the railing, and unleashed a handful of yellow spears. The groans went silent in an instant, and that was our cue to keep on climbing.

“Sixty flights of stairs doesn’t sound like a lot on paper,” I huffed as we passed the door for the fifty-sixth floor.

The gray fire door flung open, and one of the cultists leapt at me with his dagger.

Even though I had been expecting the attack, this fucker was too quick. I was able to grab his wrist, but his momentum threw me back against the white wall. I grappled with the man as he tried to plunge the enchanted steel of the blade into my heart.

“I can’t hit him at close quarters!” Libidine cried in fear. “I might hit Jacob!”

The cultist thrust his right knee up into my side, and while the pain should have made me release his wrist, it just made me mad. I tightened my grip on the fucker’s hand, and red Hellfire lit up around my fists. The smell of burning flesh filled the staircase as the man’s eyes became as large as saucers, and he began to shriek in agony.

I continued to close my flaming hand around the cultist’s burning flesh until I finally felt myself searing through his wrist bone. With one final effort, I squeezed my hand, and his own mitts popped off like a party favor.

The fucker was trembling in shock, and I unleashed a blast of Hellfire into his face at point-blank range.

The man’s body collapsed to the ground with a smoldering stump where his head had once sat on his shoulders.

“That was too close,” Sia sighed with relief.

I nodded, happy to be alive myself. As I dismissed my flames, I reached into my pocket to pull out my cell phone and checked the time.

It was eleven fifty.

“We only have ten minutes left, with five floors to go!” I warned the succubi.

We sprinted up the final set of stairs and came to a dead end. In front of us was the door for the sixty-first floor, but there was no maintenance hatch or ladder leading to the roof.

“Well, shit.” I shook my head. “There’s still the entire screen part of the tower above us.”

“There must be some sort of entrance out on the main floor,” Sia suggested.

“Ah yes, the Ohana Floor,” I wheezed. “I remember reading about this. It’s the communal space with the beautiful views of the city and the bar and the lounge area.”

“Maybe we’ll have to return here after we’re done with our mission,” Liby joked.

“As much fun as that sounds, I don’t think I ever want to see this building again in my life,” I snickered as I put my hand on the door handle.

I opened the large gray fire door and instantly froze in my tracks.

Standing about twenty feet down the hall was a massive group of cultists. There had to be at least thirty of them, and they all had Hellfire burning in their hands.

It was actually kinda funny to see a large cult clad with navy robes and croc-socks standing in the middle of the modernized design.

I didn’t even have a second to process the humor before dozens of blasts careened toward our position. I clapped my hands together and then spread them apart to create a massive wall of violet fire between us and our attackers.

I was much stronger than any of these assholes one-on-one, but the sheer number of spells that were being cast threatened to overpower my shield.

“Sister!” Libidine called out over the sound of the attacks bouncing off the wall. “Remember that move we did back in the Battle of Babel?”

“Ah yes,” the redhead responded. “It was excellent for crowd control.”

“Whatever you guys are planning to do, you need to do it soon!” I grunted as the onslaught of attacks continued. My stomach was in knots, and I felt like a headache was starting at the top of my spine.

“Lower your shield at the top and bottom,” Sia commanded.

I closed my open palms slightly, and the walls shrunk accordingly.

The second the succubi saw their opening, Liby jumped upward, and Sia fell prone.

Both of the succubi hurled their spells in unison.

Libidine’s yellow daggers struck the ceiling and created the top half of a bed of spikes.

A split-second later, Sia’s ball of red Hellfire struck the floor in front of the cultists. It exploded with such force that it tossed a handful of the fuckers into the yellow spikes above and impaled them. Gore dripped from the ceiling down onto their comrades, who began to panic.

“Finish them, Jacob!” Sia cried. “Drive them back!”

“Drive them back?” I smiled at the idea that popped into my head. “Sia, you’re a genius.”

I opened my palms again, and I made the violet wall in front of me as large as the room would allow. As soon as the barrier was wide enough, I slowly started to push forward onto the position of the remaining cultists.

The fuckers started to panic even more once the realized what I was doing. I saw a few of them desperately trying to cast a teleportation spell, but it was no use. Their anti-telekinesis curse was literally going to be the death of them.

I was exhausted from the climb, but adrenaline pounded throughout my body and gave me newfound strength. I pushed the cultists all the way back to the glass window of the thousand-story building, and their muffled screams of terror resonated behind the violet barrier.

There was a slight resistance, and I realized that the back part of the group was now smashed up against the window.

Just like I wanted them.

“Wanna give me a hand?” I asked the succubi.

Both of the women ran over and heaved against the barrier, and behind the panicking group of cultists, spiderweb cracks started to spread across the glass.

“Just a little bit more!” I ordered Liby and Sia forward.

I gave a final push, and the window shattered. Like lemmings, the cultists all plummeted out of the opening one-by-one. Once the last fucker had gone through the window, I released my barrier. I looked down at my phone again and gulped.

Eleven fifty-five.

“That was fucking badass, bro!” I head Todd’s voice exclaim.

I turned around just as Cupiditas landed at the base of the window with the imp on her shoulders.

“We saw the falling bodies.” The blonde chuckled. “Figured that it had to be you guys.”

“We have five minutes to get up onto the roof, and there’s no exit in sight,” I said as I surveyed the floor in desperation.

“And we still have to break the giant purple spell,” Todd said with a frown. “I really wish Raphy wasn’t off doing other shit right now. He’d probably have some ace-in-the-hole plot device that could help us out.”

The lightbulb went off in my head.

“Guys,” I looked up at the ceiling, “give me your energy.”

“What now?” the imp questioned.

“Remember during the fight with Azazel, how you all transferred your powers to me?” I asked. “I need you to do that again. Right now.”

“Why?” Todd was now completely confused.

“Raphael said I was one of the few beings that could control the power of both Heaven and Hell,” I explained. “If I can channel that power, I can create an attack powerful enough to break the cultist’s spell.”

“That’s just crazy enough to work.” Todd shot me a finger-gun.

My four friends all formed a circle around me and joined hands. Then they each closed their eyes, bowed their heads, and began to chant. Their bodies started to glow the color of their main Hellfire power, and then a dull throbbing sensation overtook my temples.

I could feel myself growing stronger by the second. My body was surrounded by a brilliant ball of white flame as waves of energy radiated off my friends and into my horns.

“Stand back, everyone,” I commanded, and I looked up at the ceiling of the Ohana Floor.

“Hit the deck!” Todd cried, and then he and the succubi all dashed out of my sight.

I focused my energy, clapped my hands together, and then unleashed a powerful beam of white fire through the roof. I held it for a solid minute, and when I finally let go, I could see the stars of the night sky.

There was no longer any purple barrier. The attack had worked.

“We don’t have a second to lose,” I motioned for the succubi and then pointed at the massive hole in the ceiling.

The next thing I knew, I felt Libidine’s full breasts pressed against my back and I was lifted up into the air.

We flew through the opening, and I saw a blur of cables and the flash of broken screens as we ascended. Liby and I sailed up into the cool night sky and were instantly met with gasps of shock from below.

I looked down and saw a massive group of Cultists atop the Salesforce Tower.

They were all standing around the outer edge of the roof with torches in their hands. At the center of their makeshift circle was a dark-haired woman in a nightgown who was bound to a table by her wrists and ankles. Directly beside the woman stood a tall man with his hood tossed back around his neck.

I surveyed the group to find Jane, and I saw the brunette woman off to the far edge of the building. Her hands were chained to the protective guardrail that surrounded the roof’s perimeter, but she didn’t seem to be struggling to break free whatsoever.

She must have really believed in us.

Libidine and Cupiditas gracefully floated down onto the roof with Sia, Todd, and me in their arms. As we landed, the Cultists mumbled amongst themselves, and the man in the circle’s center shook his head in disgust.

“Well, well, well.” His distorted voice boomed over the howling wind. “It’s the mortal, Jacob Ralston. I’ve been waiting for this day for a very long time.”

This guy was fucking ugly.

His face was that of a twenty-something man with brown hair, but his flesh appeared red in splotches. Out of his forehead protruded stubby, miniature horns, and blood streaked down his face from the where they poked through his skin. The man’s eyes were violet, and his canines were sharpened into points.

It was Azazel. Or at least, some freakish mixture of the demon and the man he possessed.

“Sorry to crash your party.” I shrugged and summoned red Hellfire into my hands. “But you’ve got something that belongs to me.”

“And what would that be, mortal?” Azazel hissed.

“Jane.”

Chapter 20

“How precious!” Azazel cackled. “The mortal came to save his girlfriend, and he brought the traitorous succubi along with him.”

“And me, dickweed,” Todd reminded him.

“Oh, yes, and his pathetic little imp.” The demon rolled his violet eyes and then looked over at Liby. “It’s good to see you again, Libidine.”

“Eat a dick, Azazel,” the dark-haired succubus hissed.

“What have you done to my beautiful creation, mortal?” the half-man, half-demon demanded. “The Libidine who served under me would never have the gall to speak back to higher demons, and certainly not with those foul words.”

“Bro, you heard the lady,” Todd reiterated. “Go eat a dick.”

“Thank you, imp,” Azazel said as he clicked his tongue. “Now I know who I will kill first!”

The demon stomped his foot, and a small flame of red Hellfire snaked down into the ground. Not even a second later, it reappeared just underneath the surface of the roof and charged at Todd. The blast struck the imp and sent him soaring up into the air and out over the side of the building.

Without even a moment’s hesitation, Liby backflipped into the air, summoned her wings, and darted after the falling imp. Azazel growled as he hurled a ball of fire at the succubus, but I was quick enough to knock it away with a violet barrier.

From my left and right, the succubi blasted their own red Hellfire at the demon.

The fucker opened both of his palms and then raised them into the air. As he did so, concrete from the roof stretched up to form two thick, impenetrable towers. Azazel grunted, and then the towers tore across the roof toward us.

The three of us were able to dodge the attack, but the pillars continued across the roof, and I heard the screams of a few cultists as they bolted in panic.

“Environmental powers,” Cupi mused. “That’s a new one.”

“My servants!” Azazel commanded as he raised his hands into the air dramatically. “Kill the traitors and the imp! I will handle Ralston.”

I tensed up and prepared for all hell to break loose, but nothing happened. Instead, all the cult members whispered to each other cautiously.

“My servants!” The demon tried again, “Kill them!”

Still nothing.

“It’s no use, ‘Master,’” Libidine laughed as she landed with Todd in her hands. “They doubt your strength. Now that they’ve seen Jacob’s abilities first-hand, they realize that he’s more of a man than you ever will be.”

“Servants?” the demon growled.

When he got no response, he threw back his head and released an inhuman bellow of rage.

“Fine!” Azazel spat, and his eyes started to glow with purple light. “You’re going to follow me one way or another.”

“Close your eyes, everyone!” Libidine cried out.

I slammed my eyes shut and tossed up a purple barrier around the five of us. I heard many of the cultists protesting in fear, but their screams quickly died out into a dull drone that echoed across the rooftop in unison.

“What the fuck is happening?” I asked the succubi.

“He’s taking over the Cultists’ minds,” Sia continued. “Soon they’ll be under his spell, and he can make them do whatever he wants.”

“There…” the demon’s voice said devilishly. “Now, where were we?”

I finally opened my eyes and saw that all the cultists were now completely tensed up, and their eyes were glowing a bright purple.

“Oh yes,” Azazel hummed. “The part where my humble servants rip you limb from limb!”

“There aren’t that many of them, but they could still easily overwhelm us,” I said to my friends. “We need to split them up. Sia and Todd, you guys take the ones on the left. Cupi and Liby, You draw the attention of the ones off to the right. I’ll handle--”

“You know how powerful Azazel is, Jacob.” Sia protested. “You won’t be able to defeat him on your own.”

“Maybe not, but I can try to hold him at bay until you guys are finished with the grunt work.” I nodded. “Then we can finish him together.”

“Phrasing, bro,” Todd snickered, and then he let out a bugle charge and dashed toward the cultists. Sia dashed after him in a huff.

Cupi and Liby pushed off the ground and began to unleash their assault on the right side of the building.

That just left the demon to me.

“Just how cocky are you, mortal?” Azazel shook his head. “You defeat me with a stroke of luck and ancient Vatican trickery, and now you think you’re the most powerful being in the universe?”

“I guess I just live up to the hype.” I shrugged, reached into my duffel bag, and pulled out the goat-headed dagger.

“Cute butter knife,” the demon laughed.

I dropped the duffel bag off my shoulder, and then I summoned red Hellfire into my hand. I ran my open palm across the weapon to enchant the steel, and it glowed crimson in response. Even though the knife was still inches from my face, I could feel the intense heat of the enchantment radiating from its blade.

Azazel clapped sarcastically. “A parlor trick that any of these mortal fools could do. I’m trembling in fear.”

“You know,” I said as I took a fighting stance, “you’re a lot sassier than the last time I kicked your ass.”

He ignored my verbal poke as he smiled. “I’m going to enjoy this. You don’t have your telekinesis powers to fall back on this time. Without your ace-in-the-hole, you’re finished, mortal.”

“You guys keep calling me ‘mortal,’ but I’ve killed more demons that most of the Divine.” I chuckled. “You really need to come up with a new nickname.”

“We never will,” the demon spat. “Do you know why? Because at the end of the day, no matter how many of us you kill, you’ll always be a sniveling, pathetic human.”

“Well, at least I’ll have bragging rights,” I snarked, and then I hurled a fireball at the fucker.

Azazel was quick though. He flung red Hellfire into the rooftop and produced another pillar of concrete. My attack struck the rock-hard tower and sent a few chunks of the concrete spraying across the scenery. However, the tower itself was still completely intact.

The demon snapped his fingers, and the concrete began to move like an organic tendril. He shoved his hand forward, and the tentacle of rock plowed toward me.

I threw up a barrier of violet fire, but the blow from the attack was so intense that it sent me careening back into the air, anyway. My heart sank as I saw the edge of the Salesforce Tower pass underneath me, and I was now staring at the ground one-thousand feet below me.

Cupi and Liby were nowhere close, and my emerald fire was useless here.

If I didn’t think fast, I was fucked.

Just as my body spun into the upright position, I threw down my hand and created a small platform of purple fire beneath my feet. My shoes hit the solid barrier, and then I instantly tossed another shield behind my back.

The sudden halting of my momentum knocked the wind out of my lungs, but I was safe.

Or at least as safe as I could be on a razor-thin platform a thousand feet in the air.

I took a second to survey the area in front of me. I saw Liby and Cupi darting around in the sky as they hurled attacks down onto the Cultists and dodged their enemies’ spells. Out of my peripheral vision I saw a few of the cult members get tossed over the side of the building, encased in black flames.

Sia and Todd seemed to be holding out just fine.

I didn’t have much more time to admire the view because the concrete pillar stretched itself across the sky and hurtled toward where I was standing.

I leapt off the platform while I simultaneously created another just a few feet away. As I landed on the second barrier, a swish of air behind me let me know that I had moved just in time. I looked back over my shoulder and saw the concrete tendril turning in the air, preparing to follow me.

I raised my left hand and brought up another shield in front of the attack. The concrete pillar bounced off harmlessly, but I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever. Then I looked down at the flaming dagger in my hands.

The red Hellfire hadn’t been enough to shatter Azazel’s pillar, but maybe I was going about this the wrong way. It was up to me, Jacob Ralston, to end this war between Heaven and Hell, and I couldn’t do that if I was only relying on the powers of Lucifer. I needed to heed Raphael’s words and take on the powers of Heaven and Hell at the same time.

It was time to go Divine.

I closed my eyes and rapidly thought about all the things I was fighting for. The women I loved. My best friend. The fate of my entire race. The literal embodiment of all that is good in this infinite universe.

My entire body went numb for a moment, and then a feeling of gentle warmth grew up from the pit of my stomach. I opened my eyes and saw that I was now fully encased by a bright white fire, and my dagger was now glowing with a golden flame.

The tendril raised into the sky like a flyswatter about to smash an unsuspecting insect, and then it hurled its entire girth downward.

I refused to even flinch this time. Instead, I slashed my enchanted dagger horizontally at the stone pillar. There was a crack like thunder as my enchanted steel met animated stone, and then a brilliant white light burst from the tendril. Golden cracks appeared along the length of the tendril before it fell away like ash on the end of a cigarette. Quickly, I turned my attention back at the rooftop as the tendril retreated.

I could feel the powers of the Divine and the Demonic both fighting for dominance inside me, and their internal struggle made me feel, strangely enough, all the more powerful.

I stretched out my hand and created a series of purple barriers all the way back to the top of the Salesforce Tower. Normally, I could only create one or two at a time, but the power that surged through my body at the moment made me feel like I could do anything.

I ran across the makeshift bridge as I held my dagger at the ready.

Azazel sent another pillar of stone at me, but I made short work of it with my divinely demonic dagger. I reached the rooftop, and I leapt into the air at the demon. I unleashed a blast of white fire at the fucker, and he shrieked as it struck him in the chest and sent him tumbling across the roof.

He rolled out of the way, and my attack shot through the air and took out a handful of cultists near the far end of the roof.

“You think you’ve won because you can harness divine powers, but it will not be enough.” Azazel clicked his tongue. “As long as Lucifer has influence over the human race, we will stand a chance in this war, and once we have the Nephilim? Our master will rule over all of creation.”

A blur of red flew past the demon’s face, and a quick mist of his blackish blood sprayed into the air. Azazel grasped the fresh claw wounds on his face and then growled in anger.

“I guess we’re lucky these demons don’t know about social media, huh Jakey?” Todd snickered as he appeared beside me. “A Lucifer fan page could, like, totally reach millions of people.”

“I think just about everyone on Earth is familiar with the Devil, Todd,” I said with a chuckle.

“Lucifer!” Azazel screamed. “His name is Lucifer! And you’re going to pay for that with your life, you buffoonish little twat!”

Todd gasped. “Did he just call me a baboon?”

“Servants, come to me!” the demon roared.

“Good luck with that, Azazel,” Sia’s voice mocked.

“Look around you, bro,” Todd continued. “We’ve killed almost--”

From across the rooftop, I heard a couple screams that grew distant by the second.

“Correction.” Todd stuck up his hand. “We’ve wasted all of your henchmen. You’re fucked, bro.” Cupiditas and Libidine landed beside me and summoned their Hellfire right along with Sia and Todd.

Azazel looked around in panic for a moment and then froze. An evil smile spread up his lips and then he glanced over his shoulder at Jane.

The brunette was still chained to the railing at the side of the building, but she was angrily trying to break her bonds. Her eyes were glowing purple now.

“Not all of them.” The demon grinned and then snapped his fingers. A small pillar of concrete rose out of the ground and struck the links of the chain, shattering them to pieces. “Kill them, my dear,” Azazel commanded.

“Jane, wai--” I started, but the brunette had already hurled a handful of yellow daggers at my face.

Sia caught the attack in the air with her black flames, completely nullifying the threat. At the same time, Cupiditas struck Jane with a blue time-freezing spell, just to finish the job.

Liby, Todd, and I turned our attention back to Azazel, but the demon had other plans. He stomped his foot into the ground to create another pillar, and at the same time, he hurled a massive fireball at Cupi and Liby.

“Take him out, guys!” I commanded as I blocked the red Hellfire with my purple shield.

A pillar of concrete arose from the ground beneath Cupi, struck her in the face, and knocked her back on her ass. That was enough to break her time-freeze on Jane, so as Sia turned to catch Cupi, she was wide open to take a blast from Jane.

Though neither succubus was bad off, I was still pissed as I turned back to Azazel, even as I saw his body careen across the shattered rooftop.

“We blasted him real good, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed.

“Great, but he got Cupi and Sia.” I pointed to the two succubi who now laid groggily on the ground. “We need to-- Heads up!”

I scooped up Todd in my arms and barely managed to dodge an incoming attack from my left.

“Jane, darling?” Azazel changed his tone to be more kind. “I want you to kill Jacob. Don’t let up until he is dead even if your life depends on it.”

“How the fuck are we going to break that spell, bro?” Todd asked as we stood back onto our feet.

“I have no clue.” I shook my head as I knocked away another round of yellow daggers from the brunette.

“We have to kill him,” Libidine explained and pointed at the half-demon man. “Not that you needed any more convincing.”

Azazel hurled another blast of Hellfire at the curvy succubus, but Liby was able to take flight before it connected. That left him open, so I returned fire with a beam of white light, and the demon let out a wail of pain when it struck him in the shoulder. Then he screamed again when Liby’s daggers stabbed into his torso, so he took a few more shots at the woman in the sky.

I turned back to look at the mind-controlled Jane, who was now charging across the roof at me with her dagger drawn. She left herself completely defenseless as she moved, and I could have obliterated her if I wanted to but that was exactly what Azazel wanted. He wanted me to slip up and treat Jane like a regular enemy, to kill her with my Hellfire powers accidentally or maim her with my blade.

Not on my watch.

“Uh, you want me to sweep the leg?” Todd said nervously as the woman continued to gain ground.

“Hold your ground, buddy,” I reassured the imp. “Once she goes for the killing blow, I can take her.”

“Oh, I know you can take her!” He giggled. “I almost walked in on you two in the woods, remember?”

Jane let out an angry scream as she closed the gap and raised the dagger over her head. She swung it down with lethal intent, but I was able to side-step out of the way. The brunette took this chance to lash out at me with her other hand, now engulfed in red Hellfire.

Her attack didn’t connect, but I felt the intense heat pass inches from my right ear.

I took that moment when she was over-extended to grab Jane by the wrists to try to hold her, but she quickly engulfed her arms with red Hellfire. The flesh on my palms screamed as I pulled away from the brunette.

She now had a perfect shot at me, and she was at point blank range.

I tossed up a purple flame and prepared for the deadly blast, but Jane’s body lurched backward as she released the attack, and a massive beam of red Hellfire shot up into the San Francisco night.

“Get off me!” the brunette commanded with a voice that sounded much more demon-like than her real one. She spun around helplessly, and I saw that Todd was now sitting in her hood.

The imp was cackling as Jane flailed, but it didn’t look like he was trying to hurt her. Instead, he was lightly tugging at her long locks and tapping her on the head playfully.

The brainwashed woman continued to stumble backward until she hit the guardrail on the edge of the tower. She nearly fell over, but I tossed a barrier behind her to keep her on her feet.

Todd somersaulted out of the woman’s hood and then scurried across the roof. Jane tried to blast the little guy with her fireballs, but he was way too fast.

“Jacob?” Sia asked weakly from behind me.

I glanced back to see Sia slowly pulling herself off the ground.

“I’m sorry, Jacob,” the redhead moped.

“It’s okay, Superbia.” I nodded. “You did your best, but we’re not done yet. Are you strong enough to conjure up your black fire?”

“I think so,” she mumbled and rubbed her forehead.

“Good, because I need you to take care of that.” I pointed to where Jane was chasing the giggling imp. “Can you hold somebody in your spell without choking them?”

“Unfortunately not,” Sia shook her head. “If I’m going to capture her with my fear powers, you will have to end this fight quickly, or Jane will suffocate to death.”

“Wait, could we use those portable traps that Raphael gave us?” I questioned.

“They wouldn’t work.” Sia sighed. “She may be mind-controlled by a demonic entity, but she’s still a mortal.”

“What about on him?” I pointed to Azazel, who was still engaged with the airborne Libidine. “He’s in a half-demon form, right?”

“Azazel is too powerful for that sort of magic.” Sia shot the idea down. “A singular Key of Solomon isn’t going to do much.”

“Come on,” Todd’s voice shouted as he ran, “The Gatekeeper is supposed to be waaay more powerful than this!”

“Hold on…” I said as the lightbulb went on in my head. “Could we cross the streams? Metaphorically, of course?”

“Cross the--” the redhead started.

“It’s an Earth thing.” I waved my hand to push away the reference. “What I mean is, we have five of those portable demon traps. If we used them all at once, could that work?”

“I have no idea.” Sia shrugged. “You can’t overlay the Key of Solomon when it’s a drawing on the ground, for obvious reasons.”

“We have to try!” I enthused.

“Azazel is still a demon of the highest order,” Sia warned. “If we want this to have any chance of working, he will still need to be weakened first.”

I nodded. “Leave that to me.”

I pulled out two of the demon traps from the duffel bag, handed them to the redhead, and then slung the bag over my shoulder.

“Do it.”

Sia took one of the traps in her hand and then raised up the other. She squinted as she aimed at the dashing brunette in the robe, and then she blasted a whip-like beam of black Hellfire out of her palm.

The attack caught Jane in mid-stride, and she was frozen in place. She tried to mount a counterattack, but her magical abilities were rendered useless inside of the dark flames.

Now, the clock was ticking, even more so than before. I took off toward where Libidine and Azazel were fighting. As I passed Todd, I tossed him one of the traps.

“What’s this for, bro?” he asked curiously.

“We’re crossing the streams,” I said as the night wind blew through my hair.

“Sweet, bro!” Todd yelled after me.

As I approached the battling demons, the fucker in the robe was charging up an attack. Red Hellfire glowed around his hands, and then he tossed them at Libidine.

Not this time, motherfucker. I cast a brilliant wall of purple fire directly in front of him as he released.

Azazel’s eyes widened as his own attack blasted back at him, and his body was tossed backward.

“Catch, Liby!” I tossed the two remaining cubes into the sky, and the dark-haired succubus swooped over and grabbed them. “Wait for my signal.”

Azazel pulled himself back up to his feet and laughed.

“You…You really think you can still beat me?” He shook his head. “I’m the King of the Fourth Circle. Even with your Divine powers, even if I’m stuck in this mortal flesh, I’m going to rip out your beating heart and force it down your throat. Then I’m going to kill each and every one of your friends, all while you watch your life slowly slipping away. And then, once you’re in Hell with my demons? Well, that’s where the real fun begins.”

I felt my powers surge through my body as it was consumed with white-hot rage. I gripped the goat-headed dagger tightly and then waved an enchanted white hand over the blade.

This time, the spell seemed to turn the steel of the knife into a weapon of pure energy. The normally short blade glowed as it stretched, curved, and took on a cutlass-like form. I raised the shimmering weapon in front of my face and narrowed my eyes.

“That’s adorable, mortal,” the demon cackled.

Azazel clapped his glowing red hands together and then slowly pulled them apart. As he did so, the fucker’s massive broadsword appeared within the remnants of the flame.

“You still insist on using puny weapons against the Father of Warfare,” Azazel mocked.

“If I recall correctly, it worked out last time.” I spat, “or were you not the one who was banished to Hell for all eternity?”

“A stroke of luck!” Azazel snarled.

I smiled. The angrier Azazel grew, the more likely it was he’d make a fatal mistake.

“Stroke of luck?” I shrugged. “I beat you fair and square. How did it feel to be bested by a mortal?”

“Bested?” The demon sneered as he readied his broadsword. “I was simply caught off guard by your illegal magic.”

“Oh, come on,” I huffed. “Just admit that you got your ass kicked. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward getting better.”

“Enough!” Azazel charged.

I lowered my sword into an offensive stance and then followed suit.

Once I was about five feet away from the fucker, I slashed at Azazel diagonally. The blow must have come faster than he’d expected because a look of panic flashed across his face as he pivoted to block. He was fast enough, but only barely, and as the metallic clash of steel rang through the air, he stumbled backward off balance.

I lashed out again and took a swing at the demon’s legs, but he propelled himself up into the air before my blade could make contact. This time he came down in an overhead swing. I took a quick step back and braced myself as I brought my blade up to catch his. As the two enchanted blades clashed, sparks of Hellfire and Divine light filled the surrounding air.

“You’ll never beat me again!” Azazel snarled as he redoubled his effort to push through my defense and cut me in two. That was fine though, because while he was focused on me, he’d left himself wide open.

“You say that now, but I’m pretty sure you’ve already lost.” I grinned at him, and as he opened his mouth to reply, a handful of Libidine’s yellow daggers caught him from the side. The demon screamed in pain as the blast hurled him sideways across the roof like a ragdoll.

I raced after him, and as he scrambled to his feet, he launched a fireball at me. I batted it away, but I was pretty sure he’d meant for me to do that because he was already taking a home run swing at my head.

I ducked just as the fucker’s broadsword swished past my head, and then I thrust my sword up into his torso. A look of shock filled Azazel’s face as my blade burst through his stomach before punching out his back in a spray of dark blood.

“You think you’ve won?” he asked as his face twisted into a sneer. “This is merely a flesh wound!”

As Azazel brought his weapon down on my position, I dove to the left while wrenching my own blade violently sideways. The demon’s guttural scream filled the air as his entrails spilled out across the floor. Then the force of his own blow carried him forward, and as his blade clanged off the ground, he slipped in his own intestines and stumbled forward.

“How’s that for a flesh wound?” I clicked my tongue. “Because the way I hear it, stomach wounds are one of the most brutal and painful types of injuries a human can have. I save only the best for you, Azazel.”

“Fool!” the demon bellowed. “Even if you kill this mortal body here, I will find another way to return. I have loyal followers all across the planet who would jump at the opportunity to be my vessel.”

“See, that’s the thing.” I smiled at the asshole. “Your followers want to follow the most powerful being in the universe. If I defeat you a second time? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that guy’s gonna be me.”

“No…” Azazel’s eyes widened at my words.

“Oh, yes,” I corrected. “Oliver has already set things in motion. I’m going to kill you and then take away all of your followers. You’re going to rot in Hell, Azazel.”

“Then I’ll kill that fucking traitor after I’m done with you!” The demon bellowed and then flung Hellfire at me.

He was fast, but I’d sort of been expecting it, so I’d already been ready with my purple fire. Unfortunately, while my barrier protected me from the demon’s blow, the impact still caused me to stumble sideways.

Azazel must have seen this as an opportunity because he didn’t hesitate before he swung his broadsword at my neck.

I was able to counter with my white-hot blade, but a few sparks of red Hellfire from the demon’s sword shot off and burned my face. I let out a grunt of pain, stumbled backward, and then wiped the embers away. I was sure that those things were gonna leave a mark, but it didn’t feel like they had done any major damage to my face.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have much time to dwell on my pain.

I looked up to see a tendril of concrete flying toward me, and I quickly sidestepped the attack. As I did so, I slashed at the concrete with my enchanted blade and sent its debris tumbling across the rooftop.

Azazel’s first attack was little more than a distraction, and the demon was on me a second later. The demon’s fist smashed into my chin, and my mouth filled with the taste of iron. I reached out and grabbed the demon’s wrist before he could raise his sword, and we grappled for a moment or two before I shoved him off into the ground.

“This mortal flesh is weak!” he hissed. “In my demon form, that blow would have popped your head like a gore-filled balloon!”

“You really talk too much,” I huffed as I raised my sword.

I thrust the end of the blade down toward Azazel’s head, but the demon dropped his broadsword and clapped his hands together to catch it.

The enchanted steel sizzled in the demon’s hand, and the air was filled with the smell of burning flesh.

Azazel whimpered in pain, but he continued to hold the blade despite his agony.

Perfect.

I whistled, and then a slew of small red fireballs and yellow daggers descended on the demon.

He released my blade and threw up his hands to block the incoming attack. When he did so, I stabbed my sword into his shoulder. The demon bellowed in agony, and while I wanted to capitalize on it, I didn’t have time. I rolled back away from Azazel as the other attacks slammed into the demon.

As I got to my feet, I smiled at the demon. Azazel looked like a mess. There was now a giant lake of blood at the foot of his robes, and the garment itself was completely burned up and bloody. Azazel was breathing with deep, labored breaths.

“I think he’s weak enough,” I called out to my friends. “Light him up!”

My friends lit up each of their traps, and four red projections of the Key of Solomon shot onto Azazel’s body at the same time.

The robes on the demon’s figure started to sizzle, and his body began to jerk violently. He wasn’t frozen in place like he should have been, but the traps were definitely doing damage to the fucker.

“That’s what happens when you have a mortal body, bro,” Todd said with a laugh. “It’s why I ditched mine for this sweet demon bod!”

Azazel stumbled forward, but he barely had control of his body as he moved. His head kept twisting to the side, and his legs were now bowed outward.

It was time to finish this.

I enchanted my dagger with the white light of the Divine once more, and then I charged.

Azazel tried to hit me with a beam of Hellfire as I approached, but thanks to his spasming arm, he couldn’t get a good shot off.

I was about three feet away from the fucker when I pulled the dagger back to the side. A second later, I was upon Azazel. I swung my enchanted blade sideways, and it stabbed into the side of his head.

The demon screamed as the white light from my weapon seared the flesh from his ugly face.

I yanked the dagger out of his temple, and his brains spilled out of the hole in his head.

Azazel collapsed. This fucker was dead.

I couldn’t do much other than let out a huge breath of relief and then turn around to check on my friends.

“Did we get him for good this time?” I panted.

Jane was now released from Sia’s spell, and the redheaded succubus was above her body, checking her vitals.

“Unfortunately not,” Sia shook her head, “but he has at least been sent back to Hell where he belongs.”

Cupiditas was stirring, but she still looked very weak. I moved to check on her while Todd sat on Liby’s shoulders as they spun around happily in celebration.

Some way, somehow, we had saved the fucking day once again.

Chapter 21

“Bro, did we just save the world?” Todd asked in disbelief. “Todd Masterson, Hero of the People. Maybe they’ll give me the key to the city.”

“Todd, nobody is going to know--” I started.

“I’ll be sure to mention how much you guys helped me out,” he continued. “But it was mostly me, with that sweet hood tug and face scratch and all that.”

“Sure thing, bro.” I laughed and helped Cupiditas to her feet.

The blonde had been shaken up pretty bad by Azazel’s attack, but it was nothing that a quick cast of Sia’s hand couldn’t cure.

“What did I miss?” Cupi asked groggily.

“You missed the coolest fucking thing you’ll ever see in your life!” Todd exclaimed. “Jakey was all stabby-stabby and Lib was all dive-bomber and I--”

“What the actual fuck is going on here?” a woman’s voice demanded from behind us.

“I almost forgot about the virgin.” I chuckled.

“I did too.” Todd shrugged. “She was being pretty calm, considering shit was exploding, and people were being murdered all around her.”

“It’s because she was under Azazel’s spell,” Libidine explained. “Now that he’s dead, she’s back to normal.”

“Why am I tied up?” she asked frantically. “Who are you people?”

“Uh, ma'am,” I explained as I walked over to the tied-up woman. “We’re members of the SFPD. I think you might be suffering from amnesia, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“I-- I don’t know,” the dark-haired woman stuttered as I began to untie her wrists. “The last thing I remember is sitting in my living room. There was a knock on my door, and then… nothing.”

I finished untying the woman’s feet, and she slid from the table and onto the hard cement of the roof.

“Does anyone have something I can wrap her up with?” I asked the succubi.

“Here you go!” Libidine extended a robe that she had pulled off one of the dead cultists.

The robe was singed in several places and had blood splattered across the back.

Oh, well. This whole adventure started with a bloody robe, so it was only fitting that it ended with one. I wrapped the navy garment around the shell-shocked woman, who was shivering in terror.

“What the hell is that thing?” she asked in terror and pointed at Todd.

“It’s just our police dog,” I bullshitted. “They never tell you how Chihuahuas make the best search and rescue dogs, do they?”

“Arf,” Todd grumbled.

Off in the distance, I heard the wail of sirens. I guess you didn’t have a massive demon fight on top of the city’s largest building without a few people taking notice.

“We need to get out of here,” I said to the succubi. “But first, we need to take her down to safety.”

“Got it,” Cupiditas confirmed as she gathered her senses.

“Todd, hop on,” I said as I took Jane’s unconscious body in my arms. “Cupi can take Sia and this woman, and Liby can take us.”

A split-second later, I felt the tiny imp’s arms and legs wrap tightly around my leg like a koala, and then Libidine lifted us both up into the air.

“What is-- Ahhhh!” the dark-haired mortal yelled as Cupi grabbed her and pulled her into the sky.

Now that there wasn’t a massive concrete tendril trying to kill me, the view from up this high was spectacular. The lights from San Francisco’s other buildings twinkled as we descended alongside the Salesforce Tower, and off in the distance, I could still see the magnificence of the Golden Gate Bridge.

A few seconds later, and we were back on solid ground next to where we had parked Shadow.

“What. The. Fuck.” The mortal woman’s eyes were wide with horror.

“Liby, you know what to do.” I nodded.

Libidine looked the woman in the eyes, and then the succubus’ own violet pupils began to glow.

“You are currently suffering from amnesia,” she explained. “When the police get here, you are going to tell them that the last thing you remember was taking a sip of a drink that one of these men offered you. When you came to, you were dressed in their robes, and you were already down here on the ground level. Now, go off and wait in the lobby of the building.”

The curvy succubus released her spell, and then the woman turned around and walked back in the direction of the Salesforce Tower. I sat Jane’s body carefully down on the ground, and then the five of us joined hands.

We chanted the same incantation in Latin that we had used to reveal the Chapel of the Trinity, and within seconds, Shadow had reappeared. I sat Jane down in between Sia and Libidine, and then Cupi and Todd joined me in the front seat of the car.

“We’re gonna need a bigger car here pretty soon,” I only half-joked, and then I turned the key and kicked the Jeep into gear.

As we drove toward the city limits of San Francisco, a large squad of police vehicles passed us going the opposite direction. They had no idea what they were in for.

This time, our road trip between San Francisco and Phoenix wasn’t quite as eventful. It was still as long as hell, but at least we didn’t have to worry about anyone trying to kill us. Jane woke up somewhere around Los Angeles, and we explained everything that had happened while she was out cold. Somewhere along the line, she called Oliver and discussed meeting us back at Quinn’s mansion.

The old-as-fuck cultist had escaped with a handful of his most loyal followers, and he was going to bring them to Phoenix so that we could discuss our future together.

The next few hours on the road flew by, and we rolled up to Quinn’s mansion sometime in the middle of the night.

I was fucking exhausted.

“Be it ever so humble…” Todd sang as he opened the door of Shadow and dashed towards the entrance.

“This is your house?” Jane sounded impressed as she slid out of the vehicle.

“Yep,” I bragged. “You know the demon Flauros? Better known as the tech mogul Robert Quinn?”

“I am familiar with both.” The brunette smiled coyly.

“This was his home, but we took it after we killed him,” I explained.

Jane’s green eyes shimmered back at me with excitement. “Oh, we did make the right choice,” she cooed.

“Come now, lovebirds.” Sia chuckled as she opened up the massive door of the mansion.

We followed the redhead into the mansion and then back into the main living area where Oliver and his friends were waiting.

“Master!” the white-haired man smiled as he stood up to greet me. “How was your trip? Can we get you a glass of wine? Would you like a back rub?”

“Uh, I’ll take a beer,” I said with a laugh. “Quinn keeps them in the fridge in the basement.”

“Right away, sir,” a blond man in a robe bowed and then ran off to fetch my drink.

“So, what have you decided?” Oliver asked, and then leaned in for dramatic effect. “Shall we serve you loyaly, as we did Azazel for so many years?”

“I hate to break it to you, bro,” Todd snickered. “But we want you to drink the Kool-Aide.”

Oliver looked over at the imp in shock. “You… you want us to end our lives?” he asked sadly. The white-haired man pulled his dagger out of his belt, and then his brethren followed suit.

“That’s not what we decided!” I held out my hands to stop the cultists, and then I turned to Todd angrily. “Dick move, bro.”

“I didn’t think they’d really do it.” The imp shrugged. “But this confirms that the Toddster’s word is just as powerful as Jakey’s!”

Todd jumped up on the breakfast bar and held his hands in the air in victory.

“Transitive property, bitches!” he exclaimed.

I just rolled my eyes and turned back to the Cultists. “Look, we have decided, as a group, that we want you to serve us,” I told the men. “Us. Not just me. If my succubi or my little friend give you a command, you do it.”

“Of course, master.” Oliver bowed.

“A few more things,” I added. “First, you’re changing sides. Anyone who serves under Jacob and company are fighting for the side of the Divine.”

I could see several of the Cultists’ jaws clench at my words.

“If that doesn’t work, then the door is right that way.” I pointed toward the main entrance.

“Of course it does, Master Ralston,” Oliver reluctantly agreed. “We swore to serve you, not Lucifer.”

“Second,” I continued. “Oliver, I want you to continue to lead, but Jane is going to act as the main liaison between the cult and me.”

“Fair enough,” Oliver grumbled.

“Jane will check in with us once a week to let us know what is going on with your forces,” Sia explained. “We will meet in person when necessary.”

“You mean when Jakey-boy here wants a booty call?” Todd laughed.

“No, Todd, this is for official cult business.” I rolled my eyes at the imp, but then I turned and winked at Jane.

“Jane is our new liason, and we must fight for the Divine.” Oliver nodded. “What is your third wish, Master?”

“The crocs and socks have to go.” I slapped the white-haired man on the arm playfully. “I’m not going to have people going around serving me wearing those abominations.”

“Can I still wear them?” The imp raised his hand.

“You heard him,” Libidine said with a shudder. “Nobody. Wears. Crocs and socks.”

“I think that one is the most painful of them all,” Oliver said with a sigh, “but it will be done, Master.”

“Just call me ‘Jacob,’ please,” I corrected him. “That ‘Master’ shit is weird.”

“So, what shall we rename the cult?” Cupiditas chimed in. “‘The Cult of Azazel’ doesn’t really fit any more.”

“The Cult of BAMFs!” Todd suggested.

“BAMFs?” Cupi’s face contorted with confusion.

“Yeah, Badass Mother Fuckers!” the imp giggled. “It even fits with the whole Divine theme, Ezekiel and all that.”

“We’re not calling them the Cult of BAMFs, Todd,” I said even as I was chuckling.

“Mas--” Oliver started, but then caught himself. “Jacob? May I make a suggestion?”

“Sure thing, Oliver.” I nodded. “Let me hear it.”

“Maybe I’m just a traditionalist,” the white-haired man suggested, “But why not just ‘The Cult of Ralston?’”

“Eh.” Todd shrugged. “It’s okay. I still like the Cult of Badass Mother Fuckers though.”

“I like it,” Cupiditas said. “It’s short, sweet, and to the point.”

“Just as you like it, right?” Libidine said with a wink.

“I can live with it.” I shrugged. “Now, what demon fucker are we going after next?”

The blond man in the robe returned with my beer, and then the group of Cultists that had been sitting on the couch stood up to make room.

“Sit down, Jacob.” Oliver motioned to the now-empty seat. “Relax and enjoy your beverage. Enjoy your women. You have done great things in the last few days, my friend. You deserve a little break.”

I grabbed the bottle of craft beer from the blond man and gave him a thankful nod. I sat down on the couch and then motioned for the women to join me. Liby, Cupi, and Sia plopped down on the seat and snuggled up close, but Jane remained standing.

“We’re missing someone,” I said as I shot her a longing glance.

Todd’s impish body flipped over the side of the couch and landed on the empty space at the far end of the couch.

“I thought you’d never ask, Jakey!” He laughed.

“I meant her.” I shook my head in amusement and pointed at the beautiful brunette woman.

“There’s nowhere left to sit now.” Jane shrugged her shoulders.

“Yes, there is,” I smiled and patted my lap. “Your favorite spot.”

Jane blushed and looked down at the ground bashfully. Then, she strutted over and pressed her firm ass down onto my crotch.

Oliver was right. There was plenty of time for demon-killing tomorrow. Right now, I was going take the time to enjoy myself.

I leaned back, wrapped my arm around Libidine, and took a swig of my beer. I looked around at the Cultists who would literally fight to the death if I asked them to, and then at the beautiful women whom I loved so dearly.

I really could get used to being worshipped.

END BOOK 2

End Notes

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2018 by Eric Vall