Chapter 1

“Dude! It finally came!” My roommate barely withheld his excitement as he barreled into the living room of our apartment with a package in his hand. “Check it out, Jacob.” He smiled as he tore at the brown paper surrounding his purchase.

As he ripped the covering off the package, bits and pieces scattered all across the floor of the living room like confetti. For a second I thought about lecturing Todd about not making a mess of our apartment, but who was I kidding? This place was already a shithole. At least some half-assed confetti would make it feel a little livelier.

My roommate was your stereotypical stoner archetype. Seriously, he looked like he belonged in a hippie van solving mysteries with a Great Dane. Todd’s long, blond hair was always greasy and unkempt, and the smell of the sweet leaf reeked off him so frequently that most people just assumed he was using a hemp-laced cologne. To top off his look, Todd wore a bit of scruff on his chin in the shape of a rough soul patch, as well as a t-shirt with the logo of whatever old-school rock band or metal band that he was currently listening to.

My friend was giddy as he removed the final piece of packaging to reveal a leather-bound book that had to at least be a hundred years old. The book’s pages were wrinkled and dirty, the cover had scuffs all over it, and the spine was screaming for dear life as if it held onto the pages by only a single thread. I was surprised that it didn’t crumble into dust the second it touched Todd’s fingers. He jokingly blew on the cover to remove the nonexistent dust, brushed it off with his left hand, and then started to flip through the pages eagerly.

“What did you get?” I groaned because I had already guessed.

“The answer to all our problems!” My roommate slammed the book closed with a giggle and grinned proudly as he handed me his new reading material.

I took the ancient tome from him as if I was accepting a venomous snake. This thing was hundreds of pages long and had definitely seen a lot of use over its lifetime. I looked at the title- Demonology for Our Time.

“Did you seriously buy another demon book?” I questioned the scraggly man.

“Bro, not just any demonology book,” he tried to explain. “This is the big one. The big tuna. The book to end all books. The one book to rule them all--”

“I get it,” I chuckled. “This thing looks old as fuck, where did you get it?”

“The internet is a wonderful place, my friend,” Todd clicked his tongue at my question. “I found it on this obscure occult website and had it shipped in from the Vatican City. It only cost two-hundred dollars!”

“Wait,” I scoffed. “That wouldn’t happen to have been the two-hundred dollars I gave you for rent now, would it?”

“Don’t be mad.” Todd held out his hands to calm me down. “If all goes as planned, we’ll never have to worry about rent or jobs or that kind of thing ever again!”

“Todd…” I growled at my roommate.

Our apartment may have been super shitty, but at least it was a roof over our heads. I’d been struggling ever since I moved out here from Kansas City a few years ago and, even though he’d been my best friend ever since middle school, Todd sometimes made things difficult with all his impulse buys. We needed food and rent, not books that’d feed his occult hobby. I stood to storm off, but Todd caught me by the shoulder.

“Bro, hear me out,” he pleaded. “When have I ever steered you wrong before?”

“Do you really want an answer to that?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, because we both know the answer is never.” He laughed and crossed his arms confidently. “And even if it has happened once or twice in the past, this time will make up for it.” He touched his thumb to his pinkie. “Scout’s honor.”

“Fine.” I sat back down and handed the book back to Todd. “So, what’s it do?” I couldn’t stay mad at Todd for long. For all his crazy shenanigans and odd viewpoints, he always meant well. I’m sure whatever hairbrained scheme he had that went along with buying this book, it was because he wanted to help us get out of our shitty situation. The least I could do was listen. What was the worst that could happen?

“You won’t regret this.” He gave me a pleased nod before he flipped through the book for a few moments. He eventually stopped on a page halfway through the text and gestured at it emphatically. “Do you know what a succubus is?”

“Vaguely.” I nodded. “Aren’t those the hot female demons?”

“Precisely! My vast knowledge must be rubbing off on you,” he giggled. “Succubi are female demons who are summoned to fulfill your wildest fantasies, normally in bed. But they are also said to bring luck, fortune, and even crazy-ass abilities to those who summon them!”

“So…” I trailed off for emphasis. “Your solution to our money problems is to summon one?”

“Survey says- Yes!” He pointed at me and made a dinging noise. “Besides, I’ve got some wild fantasies I’d like them to fulfill as well…”

“I’m gonna stop you there, Todd,” I laughed. “I’ll go along with this. Not because I think it’ll work, but because it would be pointless to have spent all that money on this book and not at least use it once. Where do we begin?”

“First thing’s first,” he said as he read over the text on the page.. “We need a pentagram, a metal bowl, and a piece of paper!” He thought for a moment. “I have just the bowl. It’s by my stuff in the closet. Can you grab it while I start drawing the pentagram?”

“Sure…” I nodded to my friend as he set to work. Finding a bowl wasn’t very hard in this place. Todd had them all over in his bedroom closet. As I stared back at all the “water pipes,” bowls, and other assorted paraphernalia before me, I questioned which bowl a demon would most likely want to use. The blue marble-ish one? The one that was shaped like a dragon? Then I saw it. Right in the center of the collection sat a large metallic chalice. It was blackish-red and had a pair of horns on its stem. Definitely what we were looking for, so I snatched it up and waltzed back out into the living room. Todd had already spread out our furniture and drawn a pentagram on the floor, and he was lighting candles at each corner when he noticed me out of the corner of his eye.

“An excellent choice, Jakey!” He smiled when he saw the one I had selected. He lit the final candle and then brandished a small pocket knife and a piece of paper. “So here’s what happens now,” he explained. “We both take a sheet of paper and write down our wildest fantasies and innermost desires. Make sure the letter is addressed to Lilith.”

“Lilith?” I questioned.

“Yes, Lilith. The first succubus.” He nodded. “In the demon lore, she was the original wife of Adam, but she refused to submit to her husband. That got her banished from the Garden of Eden. After that, she allied herself with Lucifer to become the first demon succubus, and in the eons since she’s become known as the Demon Queen, ruling over every single succubus that has ever existed.”

“You sure know a lot about this,” I couldn’t believe my friend’s encyclopedic rant.

“Oh, that’s just rookie stuff. The knowledge in this book, however, is the big leagues!” He waved off his train of thought. “Anyways, after writing our letters to Lilith, we need to smear it with a bodily fluid and burn it in the bowl.”

“Please tell me we’re using blood and not jizz,” I joked.

Todd just shrugged. “Succubi prefer semen, but I’m gonna do blood since it’s the essence of the soul and all that. But hey, you do you,” he laughed before offering me the neon-green sticky note. “Now, best get writing.”

I nodded and scribbled down my desires. It’d been awhile since I’d been in a relationship, and the last girl I’d been with made me wonder if she was actually a demon in disguise herself. So, I started there. I jotted down all the qualities I wanted from a hot demon woman, as well as all the crazy things I wanted to do to her in bed and, well, in life in general. When I had finished, I realized Todd was already done, so I motioned for Todd to hand me the knife.

For half a moment, I studied the small pocket knife, and the feel of it in my fingers made this whole endeavor feel way too real. I glanced at Todd, and he gave me an eager smile and nod. I realized that if I bitched out now, my friend would never let me hear the end of it. Besides, what was the worst that could happen? I’d just have a small cut on my finger, and then Todd would mope around the apartment for a few days when he saw that the book didn’t work. Maybe he’d actually stop spending our money on this kind of shit.

I took a deep breath and then raised the knife to the tip of my left index finger. The blade slid along my digit slowly as it left little more than a dull sting in its wake. I closed the knife and handed it back to my roommate, who grinned at me like a maniac.

“Let’s do this,” I said as I met my friend’s eyes.

“You’re not gonna regret this.” Todd said, and I nodded to him.

“It’s weird. Usually, I’m unsure about, well, everything, but this time, I’m really hoping it works.” I laughed as I squeezed the tip of my finger to expel a droplet of blood, which I then smeared onto the letter to Lilith.

“Me too, bro. Me too.” Todd nodded before we each crumpled up our piece of paper and tossed it into the bowl.

Todd grabbed a couple of matches, struck them against the ignition strip of the box, and then dropped them on top of the paper. The sticky notes danced in the black and red cup as they caught fire and incinerated before our eyes, leaving only the faint smell of burnt ash and ferric blood. As the last bit of paper turned to ember, all the lights were cut in our apartment, and the candles blew out with an unseen gust of wind.

“Did it work?” I exclaimed, somewhat freaked out. “That was definitely not normal!”

“I don’t know.” Todd shrugged. “It says here that if the ceremony works, the succubus will come to you in your sleep.”

The lights returned at this point, but a lingering chill spread throughout the apartment. It might have simply been our leaky windows, but it was the middle of the summer. The chill sent a shiver up my spine, and I started to wonder what we had just let in. The absolute last thing we needed in this place was an evil entity causing problems. My landlord already had that role covered.

“Welp, I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.” Todd yawned. “Summoning a demon really takes it out of you! Time to hit the ‘ol dusty trail!”

Todd wiped the blood off his finger onto his pants before he turned around and shuffled off toward his bedroom. As he walked, he whistled a happy tune and nearly skipped across the floor. I tried not to cringe as each of his footsteps creaked and threatened to break through the old wood of the floor.

It was a bit strange because, even though it wasn’t that late, my body told me that it was time for me to head off to bed, too. Was this one of the side-effects of summoning a demon? Not that I cared. For a twenty-something like myself, sleep was a pastime.

I sauntered across the paint-stained hardwood floors of our apartment. Once I finally reached my room, I pulled off my clothes and tossed them onto the pile of dirty laundry in the corner. Then I hopped up on my twenty-year-old mattress and got comfortable. I hadn’t stared at the hole in our ceiling for two minutes before I was out like a light.

The next thing I knew, the sound of rustling coming from across my room jarred me from sleep. I squinted to see if it was a mouse or cockroach that was causing the ruckus, but the room was only illuminated by the sharp red glow of my alarm clock. It read 3 A.M. The witching hour. It couldn’t be. Could it? As my eyes adjusted to the low light, I scanned the bedroom for any sign of an intruder and reached under my bed for good ‘ol Bessie, the baseball bat I kept around in case I found myself in this exact situation. Through the neon glow of the clock, I could scarcely make out a figure standing in my doorway.

“Who the fuck are you? I’m warning you! Get the fuck out of my apartment or I’ll--” I started to demand as I climbed out of bed and readied the bat.

My words caught in my throat when I saw her. There was a naked woman standing in my doorway. Her long black hair ran all the way down her shoulders and barely covered her exposed nipples, which were pink and erect. Her eyes shone through the darkness with a purple haze, illuminating her beautiful sharp features. If not for the unusual glint of her eyes, I would have just assumed she was a regular woman. Was I dreaming? Or was this what I thought it was? Had Todd actually been right…?

The dark-haired woman took a step forward, gently placed her
hand on the bat and stared passionately into my eyes as she lowered the weapon. The  violet orbs of her eyes were somewhat hypnotizing as they reflected off the shiny metal of the baseball bat, illuminating her beautiful face in the darkness of the night. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought she was an angel.

“You won’t be needing this,” she purred seductively. “My name is Libidine. I was sent by Lilith to serve you, Jacob.”

Before my mind could attempt to process the situation, she playfully pushed me back onto the bed. As the springs groaned from the impact, the woman sauntered over to where I lay on my back and climbed on top of me. Then, with a sly smile, she pulled down my boxers.

“Oh!” the succubus gasped when she saw my massive, throbbing erection. “I’ve seen some beasts in my day, but wow. I don’t even know how I’m going to fit this whole thing inside of me.”

“Only one way to find out,” I said somewhat coyly.

The dark-haired beauty looked up at me with her beautiful purple eyes. “You’re not very familiar with how succubi work, are you?” she giggled. “We want our clients to get their money’s worth, so to speak. You never start with full penetration.”

“Then what do you--” I started, but then my words were cut off by Libidine wrapping her soft fingers around my cock.

The succubus smiled hungrily as she gazed down at my cock one more time, and then she slowly slid her lips over the tip. Then she bobbed her head up and down on my cock, making sure to keep eye contact with me the whole time she did so. Every now and again, she would let it slip out of her mouth and jerk it in her hands while she stared at my cock with a mix of disbelief and satisfaction on her face.

The sex demon really knew what she was doing.

Waves of pleasure shot through my lower body every time she touched me, and I let out a few intense moans to let her know I was enjoying myself.

As if right on cue, the succubus stood up and brushed away her hair away from her chest. Her breasts must have been something like a triple-D, because they were massive. Each one bounced happily as she sauntered over to where I laid on the bed.

“Are you going to take off your shirt?” she half-joked, half-ordered as she leaned over me. “I want to see the rest of you.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I sat up in bed and tugged off my shirt. The second it was off, Libidine looked me up and down and bit her lip.

“That’s quite the impressive six-pack you have,” she cooed as she took in every inch of my body. “Lilith sent me to a good one today.”

“Thanks,” I whispered as I felt my face heat up. “I, uhh, do a few sit ups every day, but I’m also super poor, so I don’t eat a lot.”

“Well, I like your body.” The succubus ran her hands down my chest lovingly, and then she hoisted her right leg over my crotch so that the lips of her pussy were straddling against my rock-hard dick. Even though I wasn’t inside her yet, I could feel just how wet she was as she moved her hips and teasingly ran her outer lips against the base of my cock.

Finally, the beautiful succubus positioned my tip at her wet opening, and then she lowered herself slowly so that the first quarter of my cock slid inside of her.

We both let out a sound of ecstasy as her pussy wrapped itself around my throbbing erection. The succubus was tighter and wetter than any woman I’d ever been with before, and it took everything I had to not orgasm right then and there.

Libidine gasped as she slid down all the way onto my dick, and her eyes seemed to roll back in her head. Then my demon lover arched her back so that her large breasts looked somehow even more massive, and she began to ride me.

Our sinful bodies mingled intensely as we both thrust our pelvises together, eventually creating a rhythm where the full length of my cock was inside of her at its crescendo. The whole time, the sight of Libidine’s bouncing breasts brought me closer and closer to the brink, and a familiar tingling sensation began to creep up from my core.

Meanwhile, the succubus’ moans grew more intense and started to get closer and closer together. Finally, she halted her movement, let her body go rigid, and screamed as her orgasming pussy tightened around my cock.

I didn’t know if it was the sound of her pleasure or the sensation of her quivering lips grasping my shaft, but this was it, I was going over the edge, and my body filled with pleasure as my cum flooded into the succubus’ spasming tunnel. The climax was the best I’d ever had, and I couldn’t help but gasp loudly when it just seemed to never end. My body just kept spasming, and each time my balls seized up, I sent another hot spray into her accepting body.

Then I was finally empty, and she was filled to the brim.

It was the best feeling I’d ever had.

We both sat there for a moment panting as we remained interconnected. Then, a wide smile spread over Libidine’s lips, and she fell down so that her head was against my chest.

“That--that was incredible,” she sighed. “Seriously, I think that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. But now comes my favorite part.”

“What’s that?” I asked curiously, and with a twinge of fear in my voice.

She looked up at me so that her purple eyes were locked with mine. “The snuggling,” she joked. “Duh.”

The black-haired succubus pressed her head into my chest and wiggled against me. Her soft body was still warm from our love-making, and it was strangely comforting.

“I’m all for snuggling,” I panted a little breathlessly. “I really like it.”

“Ahhh,” she purred. “You just seem like a really great guy, Jacob.”

“And you seem like a really great succu--ahhh girl.” I wrapped my arms around the naked woman, closed my eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2

The next morning I awoke to the sensation of Libidine’s soft skin snuggled up against my own, her head on my chest, and her right leg wrapped around my waist. Words couldn’t even describe the exhilarating sensations that my body felt over the course of last night’s three-hour love-making session. The succubus had fulfilled all of my wildest fantasies, and then some. Apparently, I had fulfilled many of hers, as well. At least, that’s what the many sounds of pleasure that had filled my room last night had led me to believe. In between the moans and grunts and groans Libidine kept going on and on about how this was the most fun she had experienced in years. It made me wonder what kind of people she normally dealt with.

Libidine was a forceful yet sensual lover. She wasn’t one to dominate, but she knew exactly what she wanted, and she was going to get exactly what she wanted in any way possible. The beautiful naked demon finally stirred and rolled over away from my body as my stomach let out a loud growl. I needed to refuel my exhausted body and stamina.

I carefully slid out of from beneath the succubi and tossed on a pair of sweatpants to cover my lower half. As I tugged on my pants, I admired the woman’s curvy body again. Was I still dreaming? I thought about pinching myself, but Libidine began to stir.

“Good morning, loverboy,” she mused.

“Morning,” I ran my hand through the woman’s dark hair lovingly. “Would you like something to eat? We don’t have much, but I’ll gladly offer you some cereal and a cup of coffee.”
“That sounds marvelous,” she purred.

As I slowly strutted out to the kitchen, I wondered if Todd had the same luck as I had. Maybe he was able to summon the perfect stoner succubi, if there was such a thing. I laughed to myself and pulled out a couple of white ceramic bowls from my cupboard and two spoons to go along with them.

As I poured the coffee grounds into our machine, I thought about the incredible night I’d just had. We’d made love for hours, and I fully intended to go back for more once we’d filled our bellies.

While the coffee maker churned anb bubbled, I sifted through the cupboards. All the way in the back, behind the dozens of boxes of ramen, was a package of cornflakes. Or should I say, corn bran or corn crisps or whatever the generic version of the cereal was called. Only the best for Jacob Ralston. Maybe someday we could afford the name brand stuff. But today was not that day.

I emptied the rest of the box into the two bowls, topped it off with some milk, and then I walked back over to the coffee maker as it churned out the black nectar of caffeine into the pot below. I poured the coffee into two of the five mugs we owned as I prepared to take it back to Libidine. It might not be much, but I was willing to give anything and everything to the Goddess in my bedroom.

“Hello again handsome,” I heard her say after I finished pouring the coffee, and I looked up to see her standing in the doorway of my room. For half a moment, my head spun as I took in her perfectly naked body, and I could feel my heart hammer inside my chest as if it was a train engine.

“Uhhh, h-h-hi,” I stuttered as I forced myself not to stare at her nipples. Instead I focused on her purple eyes as the room began to slow its spin. “I just finished making breakfast.”

“Ohhh, good,” she purred, and then she sauntered across the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

I passed her the bowl of cereal and the coffee mug. Then I sat in my own chair, raised the spoon up to my mouth, and tasted a familiar, stale crunch. Normally, breakfast time me thought about how much I hated my job and how much I wanted to just leave and start a new life somewhere else, but today all I could think about was Libidine and the incredible night we’d shared.

“Did you have a good time last night? I know I did,” Libidine cooed as she raised her spoonful of cereal.

I watched her tongue move past her lips and slowly slide along the underside of the spoon. She let out a soft moan when she tasted the milk, and then she closed her eyes and sighed as she eased the metal utensil past her full lips and into her mouth. The succubus leaned back in her chair and raised her face up as she let out another sigh, and then she gently pulled the spoon out of her mouth with a loud popping sound.

I think I forgot to breathe.

“Well?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“Uhhh… huh?” I asked.

“Did you have a good time last night?” she giggled.

“Is that even a question?” I winked.

Libidine’s eyes seemed to shine as her pupils dilated. “I still can’t quite believe it,” she said as she gave a little shiver of pleasure. “In my thousands of years as a succubus, I’ve never met a man who not only could match me, but outdo me! It’s kind of crazy.”

I realized I had been holding the same spoon full of cereal in my hand for the last minute like an idiot, so I took a quick bite before answering. “Hold up, did you say thousands of years old? You look younger than me.”

“Oh stop.” She blushed. “It goes along with the territory. Especially with succubi since, well, our entire purpose is to pleasure men like you and your friend over there.” She gestured to Todd’s closed bedroom door. “You can’t really do that if you’re old and saggy.”

“You don’t know what I’m into,” I smirked and then forced myself to take another bite.

Libidine reached across the table and ran her pointer finger across my chest in a heart pattern. “Actually, yes I do.” She winked. “That little note you and your friend wrote to the Demon Queen was quite specific.”

“I wonder how they are doing?” I asked as I looked at Todd’s door. Did his dream come true like mine had, or was he just sleeping in until noon like we always tended to do? Todd tended to stay up late, taking hits from his bong and watching internet videos about conspiracy theories or mythology. Waking up at the crack of the afternoon was pretty normal.

“I’m sure he had just as great of a night as we did!” Libidine laughed as she realized where my mind had gone. The black-haired succubus giggled. “Your friend is very well. I was accompanied to Earth by one of my sisters, and I know she was intended for the other man who summoned us.”

“So there are two naked succubi in my apartment right now?” I laughed. “I must be the luckiest man on Earth. Libidine, that’s Latin, isn’t it?” I may have been a solid B student, but I remembered my basic world languages.

Libidine smiled and nodded in agreement. “It means ‘Lust.’ I took on the name for obvious reasons. I have six other sisters all named similarly.”

“The seven deadly sins?” I pondered with a raised eyebrow.

“Very good!” she smirked. “Every demon lord likes to theme the names of their succubi. Lilith was particularly infatuated with the idea of the sins since, you know, her first husband created the whole concept. She named each of us after the one that best fit our personality.”

“Well, I’m glad Lilith didn’t send me Wrath. I’m not ready for that kind of thing quite yet!” I laughed along with the succubus.

“Oh, I agree,” Liby smirked, “Sister Ira is an… acquired taste.”

“When you say acquired…”

“You don’t want to acquire it.” Liby shook her head. “Trust me.” She shivered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Todd’s door open. Though I heard small, hurried footsteps race out of the room, I couldn’t see who they belonged to.

“Did you hear that?” I asked as I sat down my bowl.

“Looks like they are up,” Liby said, but as I got up to investigate, I nearly tripped over a tiny creature who bolted around the corner of my table.

I stumbled backward as the small creature tumbled across the floor and smacked into the cupboards below the sink. The small being stood about three feet tall and had dark red skin and miniature hooves for feet. Atop his head sat two horns, each looking like they were made of jet-black polished stone. He lay there for a moment in a daze before he shook himself like a tiny dog and leapt to his feet Bruce Lee style. Then he ambled toward me like he owned the place.

“Sorry about that,” he said with a shrug. “Not used to these hooves yet.” He gave me a knowing look as he gestured at himself. Then the creature looked up at me with its beady black eyes in bemusement.

“What the fuck?” I gasped as I reached out and grabbed the butcher knife on the counter to defend myself. The little demon just looked puzzled.

“Please tell me you didn’t eat the last of the cornflakes,” he said as he drummed on his belly. “I’ve worked up an incredible hunger.”

“What the fuck did you do with my friend? Are you the succubus that he summoned last night? Did you take his soul?” I demanded as I waved the knife in front of me.

“Chillax, Jacob,” the creature yelled as it held up its hands. “It’s me!”

“What the... Wait, Todd?” I asked as my mind tried to get a handle on what was going on. “Is that really you?”

“Duh, bro. I pay half of the rent, don’t I?” the imp retorted while he eyed my knife fearfully.

“Depends on the month,” I hissed at the creature. “What the fuck happened to you?”

“What do you mean, Jakey?” the imp looked at me curiously.

“You’re literally three-foot tall demon with red skin and devil hooves!” I gestured at him in disbelief.

“And…?” Todd raised his eyebrow at my concern.

“And that should freak you the fuck out!” I said in horror. “Look at you! Oh God, you look like you belong in a Cronenberg flick!”

“I take that as a compliment,” the imp snickered.

“We need to change you back right away!” I clenched my fists. “Where is the other succubus? She’s gonna pay for what she did to you…”

“No can do, Daniel-san,” the imp shook his head back and forth. “I am one-hundred percent satisfied with my purchase.”

“What the Hell are you talking about? What purchase?” I scoffed.

“This is what I wanted, my friend,” the imp chuckled as it scooted over to the breakfast bar and hopped onto one of our wobbly black stools. “I totally asked Lilith to deliver me this awesome new bod.”

“Wait,” I shook my head as I tried to make sense of Todd’s words. “You went through all this trouble to order a book from the Vatican and summon a super-hot demon woman, and you didn’t even ask for sex?”

“Bro, I got my priorities in order,” the imp giggled as he flexed his tiny arm muscles. “You’re telling me you don’t want to be a badass demon like moi?”

He shifted his body for a moment to get comfortable, grabbed an apple off the counter, and devoured it in a single bite. He leaned back as far as his miniature body would allow and savored the flavor of the fruit with a long “mmmm” of satisfaction.

“Dude, we have to go talk to your succubus and figure out how to get you changed back.” I stood up to walk toward Todd’s room.

“No way, bro! I’ve never felt better!” He shrugged.

“Could you guys keep it down?” I heard a soft female voice call out from across the room. “A succubus needs her beauty sleep. Especially when they didn’t get their nightly fill.”

The second succubus sat up from the old leather couch and rubbed her eyes groggily. She looked nothing like Libidine, but she was still one of the sexiest women I’d ever seen. Her short blonde hair was styled into a bob that swayed back and forth across her slender cheekbones as she walked. The succubus’ entire body was lithe and fit like that of an athlete, complete with small, perky breasts, well-defined abs, and thighs that looked strong enough to crush a man’s head. I didn’t know which of the seven deadly sins she was based on, but I definitely felt like I would break all of them to have her in my bed.

“We may not have done the deed, but I appreciate what you did for me, Cupi!” the imp exclaimed. “Now the chicks are all going to be lining up to get a piece of the Ol’ Toddster!”

“You didn’t have sex with--” I started to say, but Todd interrupted me.

“Naw, man. As soon as she changed me into this badass body, I just wanted to sleep it off. Now I just want to eat, get high, and play some video games.”

“Ugh…” the blonde succubus sighed as she lay her head against the backrest of our old couch. “How disappointing.”

“I’m not disappointed!” Todd laughed.

“Men almost never are,” my friend’s summoned demon said as a half-smile came to her sexy lips.

“I didn’t have any such issue with Jacob here!” Libidine blurted out excitedly.

The blonde succubus raised an eyebrow, bit her lip, and ran her purple eyes up and down my body. “Really? Maybe we should swap before we go back to our master. All this other one wanted me to do was turn him into a demon.”

“I still can’t believe that you didn’t have sex with her,” I said to Todd.

“Jacob,” Todd shook his head back and forth. “I just wanted her to fulfil my wildest desires. One of which was to become a demon myself! I’ve read all about them, but now people are gonna be reading about me!”

“Alrighty then, to each his own,” I shrugged and then turned back to the couch. “Excuse me, uh-- whoa!”

The naked blonde woman was suddenly sitting at the breakfast table next to me. She stuck out her hand to shake mine, and the gesture made her exposed breasts jiggle.

“Cupiditas,” she said as our palms connected.

“Greed?” I inquired.

The succubus shot a sly grin toward Libidine. “Sexy, well-endowed, and knows Latin? You definitely got a good one, Libby.”

I tried to not let my eyes wander around Cupiditas’ body as I questioned further. “Is there uhhh, any chance you can change him back?” I gestured to the imp who was now playing some sort of dubstep music out of his phone, standing on our kitchen counter, and dancing what can only be described as a mix between an Irish Riverdance and Breakdancing as he giggled maniacally.

“It’s what he wanted.” She shrugged as she looked at her nails. “It was on the contract.”

“So what happens now?” I asked the succubi because until that moment I’d completely forgotten about the contract. “Do you steal our souls and go back to Hell, or…?”

“We’re not that kind of succubi, Jacob.” Libidine raised her finger and twirled a lock of her long black hair as she stared down at the ground. “And I don’t think I’m going to go back to Hell. After last night, I want to stay here with you.”

The succubus’ sister did not look amused. “Liby, you know we can’t do that,” she warned. “Do you remember what happened to Tristitia?”

“Sloth?” I asked.

The blonde succubus nodded slowly. “Tristitia got her name because she was the most casual of our sisters. She didn’t really care to do her job. She’d spend countless days on Earth after the service to her man was completed, just roaming around and goofing off in the city. Tris was all play and no work.”

“And what happened to her?” I asked. “I’m assuming your boss didn’t take it very well?”

Cupiditas’ words caught in her throat as she tried to speak. “Lilith finally got tired of her laziness. While Tris was out partying with humans, the Demon Queen herself came to Earth and tracked her down. It was a bloodbath. Hundreds of humans were killed in the battle, and our sister was dragged back down into the pits of Hell to be punished for a thousand years by the Grand Executioner.”

“It sounds like Lilith isn’t somebody you wanted to fuck with,” I said as I watched Cupiditas shiver in fright. “At least, not intentionally.”

“She is quite powerful,” Libidine said as she put an arm around Cupiditas to comfort her sister. “She is the original succubus, after all.”

“Exactly, sister. So, we should not linger here.” As Cupiditas spoke, she leaned her head to rest on her sister’s shoulder.

“It will be alright, Cupi. Tris was alone. We will be together, and we will have them!” she exclaimed as she pointed in my and Todd’s direction.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe a mere mortal and his imp are going to protect us from the Demon Queen.” Cupiditas looked us over. “No offense or anything.”

“He is no mere mortal, sister,” Libidine said as she smiled at me. “Spend a few hours with Jacob, and you’ll know he’s special beyond all imagination!”

Cupiditas sighed, but then a sly smile spread across her face as she turned to look at me. “I guess I could use a good distraction right now. Besides, last night was… less than satisfying.” She glanced at my roommate. “No offense or anything.”

“No, I get it.” Todd shrugged at her. “You wanted a trip to pound town, and I didn’t oblige. And now I’m just really not interested in you anymore. Can’t really say why.”

“Wait, you’re not interested in her?” I gestured at the blonde succubus. “Have you seen her?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I know I should be interested in her, or hell, annoyed you want to sleep with the succubus I summoned, but I’m just not.” He smirked. “But if you’re interested.” He waved me off. “Do what makes you happy.”

“Seriously?” I swallowed hard. “You really don’t care?”

“Not even slightly.” Todd gave me a bored look. “There’s about a million other things I’d rather do, crazy as it sounds.”

“So, what do you say, Jacob?” Cupiditas asked as her fingers wrapped around my hand on the kitchen table.

“I think I’d be a fool to say no,” I laughed. Sure, Lilith sounded scary and all, but as the naked, blonde woman smiled at me, I couldn’t find myself caring much about her at all.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Cupi giggled and then pulled me up with her as she stood. Then the blonde succubus led me toward my bedroom while making a special point of shaking her ass with each and every step.

“Go get ‘em, Tiger!” Libidine called as Cupiditas and I entered my bedroom, but before I could respond to the dark-haired woman, the blonde succubus grabbed me by the sides of my face, pulled me in close, and shoved her tongue down my throat.

Then she kicked the door closed behind us.

As we continued to make out, Cupiditas expertly tugged off my pants, and as she reached down to stroke me she gasped.

“Well? What do you think?” Liby called out with a giggle from outside the bedroom door.

The blonde woman smiled as she dropped to her knees in front of me and licked her lips. “I-I don’t know,” she admitted slyly. “I think I need to get a taste first.”

Before either of us could say another word, Cupiditas grabbed my cock by its base and slid it into her mouth with a satisfied “mmmm” sound. She was able to take it all the way down, but the succubus made a slight gagging sound as it touched the back of her throat. The blonde woman held her position for a moment, and then she slowly moved her free hand up to rub at my balls.

A wave of pleasure shot through my body as I let out a satisfied moan.

Cupiditas had a much different technique than Libidine. The Sister of Lust had been pretty standard, moving her mouth up and down as she pleasured me. This one, on the other hand, was using a technique I had never seen before. She kept my entire cock firmly in her mouth, but I could feel her tongue going to town all around inside.

The sensation was insanely good.

I let out another moan, and then Cupiditas smiled. She pulled back from around my dick, making sure to drag her tongue on my shaft as she did so. The succubus repeated the action two or three more times, and I felt like I was already reaching the brink.

The fit blonde let my cock plop out of her mouth momentarily. “Sister Libidine is right,” she moaned. “This thing is massive. Almost too much for me, even. Thankfully, I’m known for my … sharp tongue.”

The succubus slid her tongue out of her mouth and began to run it up and down the entire length of my erection and balls. I felt my climax begin to creep up on me, and I knew that I wasn’t going to last much longer like this.

Then, Cupiditas pulled back, looked at my dick thoughtfully, and quickly shoved the entire thing into her mouth as far as she could. The second I felt her luscious lips against the base of my erection and the tip of my dick nudge the back of her throat, I knew it was over.

I released my orgasm into the succubus’ mouth, and she gasped with surprise as my cum filled her throat.

Cupiditas kept her violet eyes glued to mine as she pulled back, licked her lips, and then swallowed.

“I think I’ve made up my mind, Liby,” she called out to her Sister on the other side of the door. “Lilith be damned. I think we should definitely stay.”

Chapter 3

What a day. That was the only thing I could think of as I sat at my worn-out breakfast table in my shitty-ass apartment and munched on an apple. Libidine, the large-chested, dark-haired bombshell, sat across from me at the breakfast bar. She kept giggling and making goo-goo eyes at me with her bright purple peepers. Meanwhile, Cupiditas, the sexy blonde with the rock-hard body, sat over on our broken-down couch. She was reclining back on the brown velvet cushions with her feet placed up on the coffee table. The joyful, yet relaxed expression on her face told me that she was extremely satisfied with her decision to stay.

As for Todd, my little demon friend was relaxing in his favorite chair. It was a red polyester recliner that had certainly seen much better days. Todd found it in the dumpster out behind our place forever ago, and it had been love at first sight. It took us nearly two hours to get that damn thing up here into our living room. I tried to talk him out of it, but the stoner refused to budge until I helped him get “his true love” into our apartment. The chair had been too large for the elevator, so my buddy and I had to carry it all the way up six flights of stairs. It was not a pleasant experience, as Todd was about as strong as an ant, and not in the metaphorical sense. Instead, it was I who got to do most of the heavy lifting.

When we finally got it to the apartment, it was like a yoga session trying to get it through the door. Todd kept telling me to “twist it to the left, bro,” as I huffed and puffed and rolled the chair around so that it could almost fit through the threshold. We finally were able to get it into our place after we discovered that the top part could pop off and turn the piece into two manageable chunks of a chair rather than one large one. After that, it was a cakewalk. The only problem was that once we got it inside, we couldn’t figure out how the fuck it went back together. Even once we had spent countless hours trying to reassemble the damn thing, it remained wobbly at best.

Now, it was Todd’s throne, where he sat when he wanted to light up, kick back, and watch an episode of his favorite paranormal TV show.

Before yesterday, I would have made fun of Todd for watching that kind of shit. I had been raised to believe in Heaven and Hell and all that stuff. Who from the southern Midwest hadn’t been? But when my roommate would go on and on about UFOs and Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, I’d just roll my eyes and humor him. Now, I was sitting in a room with the two naked succubi that we had summoned, and my best friend was a three-foot-tall red-skinned imp with horns and a tail. I guess seeing really is believing after all.

“You’re being awfully quiet over there, Jacob,” Cupiditas murmured as she put her hands on her knees and smiled. “Did our services leave you speechless?”

“That ain’t natural for Jakey,” Todd chuckled. “He’s always got his two cents to throw into the mix!”

“It’s not that.” I shook my head. “It’s just that it’s a lot to take in, you know? Like, if you two are both real, and your demon masters are real, then that means everything I’ve been taught about our religion throughout the years is all true. All the stories, all the teachings, all the metaphysical entities… It’s crazy.”

“Whoa, whoa.” The imp stuck out his hands repeatedly. “Our religion? The Toddster bows to no one.”

“Uh, Todd… You’re the one who’s always telling me about conspiracy theories of how the government is covering up evidence of Angels and Demons here on Earth, and now you’ve seen it with your own eyes. How can you really believe that if you don’t follow a religion?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I dunno. I just don’t like the idea of others telling me what to do.” He shrugged. “I just want to have a blast here on Earth while I still can, and with this new smokin’-hot body, there are no limits to the amount of fun I can now have!”

“I know it’s a lot to take in.” Libidine stretched her hand across the table and placed it on mine. Her skin was just as soft as I remembered it being from the night before, and her touch brought back a rush of incredible memories. “We’re used to being questioned by the mortals who summon us. Please, ask us anything you want.”

“Alright, so, first question: Are you guys just, like, freelancing for Lilith?” I asked. “Or is there some sort of hierarchy down there? Some sort of chain of command?”

“I really wish you mortals would stop referring to it as down there,” Cupiditas interrupted. “Hell and Heaven exist on a completely different astral plane. It’s not like if you dig deep enough into the ground you’re going to find the place.”

“Totally knew that,” Todd said with a smug nod from his chair.

“To answer your question before I was rudely interrupted by my sister over there,” Libidine joked, which prompted a dirty look from Cupi. “Every succubus and incubus serves Lilith, no questions asked. She was the first woman in the history of the universe to ever have sex, and she did it her way. She refused to be on the bottom like her husband ordered. That’s what got her banished from the Garden of Eden and branded as a sexual deviant.”

“Well, shit,” I said with a laugh. “If that’s all it takes, I don’t think there’s a single person on this Earth who wouldn’t fall under that category. I can certainly think of a few of my exes who wouldn’t listen in the bedroom. Tamira was almost certainly a demon…”

Todd made a hissing noise from across the room. “Bro, you promised to never say that name again! We don’t speak the name of the beast in this household.”

“Who’s Tamira? That’s a demon I’m not familiar with,” Cupi pondered.

“Tamira is my ex, but I’d really rather not talk about it right now,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s focus on things that are literally from Hell instead of figuratively. So, Lilith is the master of all succubi and incubi. Please continue!”

“Lilith is known as the Demon Queen, but there are other Queens and Kings of Hell,” The dark-haired woman nodded behind her purple eyes. “They are all Lucifer’s greatest allies, but she is by far the most ruthless and fearsome. Under her are the demon lords, powerful entities who act as generals in the wars against the Army of the Divine. Heaven’s army,” Liby added when she noticed my confusion. “Then there are the lesser demons. That would be someone like the pimps and the grunt soldiers.”

“So, my next question is simple,” I began. “Do you have powers? All the demons I see in movies and in Biblical stories can cast spells on people and turn invisible and all that.”

“Yes and no,” Liby answered. “All metaphysical beings have magical abilities. The higher up in the chain of command they are, the stronger their abilities. The problem is that we have entered into a contract with you, which means that, for the time being, you are our new master.”

“Although I think we’d both love it if you continued to be our master forever,” the blonde woman giggled.

“That would be delightful.” Libidine smirked. “But us lower-level entities have abilities that are bound to our masters. Since we’ve essentially started over with somebody new, our power levels have been reset to zero.”

“How do we get them back up?” I questioned.

“The closer the bond we have with our master, the stronger our powers become.” The dark-haired succubus batted her eyes at me. “Right now, our connection is still budding, so our powers are at a basic level.”

Cupi laughed. “In other words, our powers grow the more the three of us have sex.”

“Hey, now that’s something I can get behind!” I chuckled at her words.

“I hope it’s not the only thing you’re getting behind…” The blonde bit her lip and stared at me hungrily.

“I’m trying to eat here, guys,” the imp scoffed. “Why don’t you get back to the good stuff? I was actually learning a lot!”

“Thank you, Todd,” I said with a sigh. “So, what, you guys don’t really have any say in what you do? Like you’re all just subordinates to other demons?”

“Particularly our master, Earl,” Cupi said, vitriol filling her voice. “He’s the one who keeps us in line and makes sure that the humans who summon us pay up when the time comes.”

“Sounds like a real asshole.” I tried to be as sympathetic as possible. “Which leads me to our next question. What are the odds of him coming after you? You guys are supposed to take my soul and return to Hell after the deed is done, right?”

“I don’t know,” Cupiditas murmured, and both of the succubi paused and looked at each other tensely. “We probably aren’t even on his radar right now.”

“And what happens if you are?” I asked with a grave tone.

“Then he comes after us and takes us back with him, whether we want to go or not.” Libidine pouted. “But don’t be sad. There’s still plenty of time for us to have our fun, so we should enjoy our time here while we can.”

“But wait,” I cleared my throat and raised a finger in the air. “I don’t want any douchebag demon-pimp to take you two away from me. Is there something we can do to stop him? Can I fight him or something?”

The two beautiful succubus women looked at each other briefly. I couldn’t read much into their short exchange, but Cupi nodded and then Libby turned back to me with a slight smile on her lips.

“You would fight for us?”

“Of course,” I said with a shrug. “You two are my women, and I really like you.”

“We like you too,” Cupi said as she brushed back her beautiful blonde hair from her forehead. “We’d like to stay with you forever. If we could.”

“So there is a way?” I asked, and I noticed Todd lean forward with interest.

“Yes,” both of the women said in unison.

“You’ll have to get stronger, much stronger,” Liby said as she bit her lip.

“Soooo, uhhh, more sex?” I asked.

“A lot more sex,” Cupi purred. “Lots, and lots, and lots of sex, but there are other things we need to do. We need to form a very close bond. That way, when Earl comes for us, the three of us will be strong enough to beat him.”

“Four of us,” Todd said. “Don’t leave me out of an epic demon battle. I’m in this to win this. Fuck yeah motherfuckers!” My friend slammed a small fist against his tiny red chest, but it made a surprisingly loud bass drum sound.

“Got it,” I said as I nodded at Todd. “Four of us.”

“First, you should get used to being our master,” Liby said. “You should order us around a bit more, really show your dominance. Just like someone who could harness demon powers would.”

“But I don’t really have any demon pow--”

“Fake it till you make it, handsome,” Cupi said with a shrug. “That’s kind of how Hell works anyways.”

“I think I can do that,” I said.

“Yay!” Liby said as she clapped her hands together. “This is going to be so much fun. I knew there was something special about you when I first saw you, and then it was confirmed when you fucked my brains out. I can’t wait for you to beat that asshole Earl.”

“Can you tell me anything about him?” I asked.

“Ewww,” Liby said as she made a sour face. “Let’s just focus on us for now. We’ll talk about him when he comes for us.”

“If he even comes for us,” Cupi said with a shrug. “He might not. Even if he doesn’t, I’d love to have lots of sex with Jacob and have him grow more powerful.”

“Me too.”

“Okay,” I said. “Sounds like we kinda sorta have a plan.”

“So, what is thy bidding, my master?” Cupiditas asked seductively as she stood up from the couch and arched her back in a long stretch.

“Sick reference, dudette.” Todd chuckled and put his hand over his mouth to muffle his voice. “Now say, ‘I am your father!’”

“I don’t think they have movies and TV in Hell, Todd,” I laughed as the succubi both looked at the imp like he was certifiably insane.

“You’d actually be surprised.” Cupi shrugged. “Plenty of succubi get summoned up here to Earth Realm just to keep lonely people company. I know I’ve had to sit through plenty of awful dinners and crappy ‘films,’ as you call them, just because the guy who brought me forth wanted to wine and dine me before he sealed the deal.”

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about. I actually quite like being wined and dined.” Libidine smiled dreamily at the thought of it.

Cupiditas just shrugged. “I’m more of a get in, get out kinda girl. We’re succubi. Our duty is to fuck them, not befriend them.” She laughed.

“You’re such a tight-ass.” Libidine giggled as she smacked Cupi on the rear playfully. To be fair, Cupi did have a particularly tight ass, tight enough to bounce a quarter off easily.

“That is the point, sister.” The fit blonde smiled seductively and blew me a kiss. “Jacob will find that out for himself soon enough, though.”

“Do you guys ever think about anything other than sex?” Todd laughed.

“Well, it kind of goes with the job.” Libidine stuck out her tongue at the imp. “I didn’t hear anyone complaining last night!”

“Touche, my bodacious black-haired beauty,” he said with a nod.

“What about Lilith?” I questioned as I began to think more about our plan to fight Earl. “Is she going to notice you’re gone?”

“No,” Cupi said with certainty as she shook her head. “I’d be surprised if Lilith even knew what our names are. We’re just another pair of succubi in her massive army. Now, if Earl brought it to her attention… Well, we won’t even think about that. He’s too much of a coward to face the Demon Queen face-to-face anyways. If he comes, he will come alone.”

“Then let’s go out to celebrate our newfound friendship, and help Jacob grow in power!” Libidine exclaimed.

“First thing’s first,” I said as I admired the naked women standing in front of me. “We need to find you some clothes. And then, I want to see these powers in action.”

Chapter 4

“I’m still surprised you’re okay with me having both succubi,” I said to Todd as we walked down the bustling streets of our city.

“I dunno, man. Ever since I got this sweet imp bod, they just… aren’t attractive to me. I think it’s a demon on demon thing.” He shrugged.

“Fair enough,” I said even though I couldn’t really believe it. The two girls had only been with us for a grand total of sixteen hours, and all I could think about was when I would get a chance to bang them again.

And it wasn’t just because Cupi had done that thing with her tongue or Liby had done that thing with her breasts. I actually really liked talking to the women. They were witty, fun, clever, and actually seemed to care about me.

I’d never really had a woman care about me before, let alone two beautiful ones, and I didn’t intend to let any of their demon lords take them back to Hell.

If Cupi and Liby were going to stay with us here on Earth, they were going to need to blend in, so I’d lent them some of my old clothes so they didn’t have to walk naked down the streets of one of the largest metropolitan areas in the entire United States.

Since Cupiditas really didn’t care about what she wore, she gladly slapped on one of my old pairs of sweatpants and a ratty university sweatshirt and was happy as a lark. The blonde succubus was more of a “work first, play later” type of girl. In fact, she took her job so seriously that she kept her hair short just so that it wouldn’t get in the way during fellatio. Talk about dedication.

Liby, on the other hand, seemed appalled by the idea of wearing menswear, so much so that she suggested that the first thing we do was to go out to buy them some “real clothes” with the “spending money” they’d been given by their master to fulfill their jobs should the need for money come up. Liby definitely wanted to embrace her feminine side, and she gazed longingly at the nice dresses and short skirts that other women walking past us wore.

Todd was a problem as well. We couldn’t just go out in broad daylight with a three-foot-tall devil imp at our side, so I had stuffed Todd into one of my duffel bags for safe travel while we were out in public. The imp had, oddly enough, thought it was a great solution since I had to carry him around.

Still, as we approached the mall on West Avenue, my old friend became more and more restless. “You know this thing smells like your old gym shorts, right? Can’t you at least give me a bit of ventilation? Or like, buy a cat carrier or something? I get that you don’t want to be seen out with me, but at least let me breathe!”

“Relax, little guy,” Cupi leaned her head down toward the duffel bag. “It’s just until we get to our destination. Then we’ll let you out, and you can play all you want.”

“Really? You’re not going to try to hide me away?” the imp asked, somewhat surprised.

“Of course not, Todd,” I chuckled. “You’ve been my best friend for years. Just because you’re a little tanner and shorter doesn’t mean I’m going to kick you to the curb like that hot garbage pizza we ate last week.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,” the imp said as he smacked his lips. “That shit was delicious!”

I raised an eyebrow as we approached the door of the mall. “You were also baked out of your mind.”

“Is there any other way to eat two-dollar pizza?”

“Fair point,” I said as I opened the door for the ladies.

As the four of us entered the mall, they looked completely flabbergasted. I didn’t know a ton about demonology or the mythos of Hell, but I was sure they didn’t have dozens of clothing stores, tasteful fountains, white tiled floors, and Tuscan style light fixtures.

And they definitely didn’t have Kenny G playing over the speakers in Hell.

With squeals of joy, Cupi and Liby both bee-lined straight toward the first clothing store they saw.

As I carried Todd after them, I realized just how good I felt about my present situation. Last night was the most alive I had felt in years. For once in my life, I was in control. Both Liby and Cupi were gorgeous creatures. The fact that they chose to stay on Earth and to defy their demon overlords for me made them all the more attractive. If that was even possible.

Todd was right, summoning these two was the best idea he’d ever had. Better still, Todd seemed happy with his new life as well. Now that he was an imp, Todd was free of all of those Earthly responsibilities. He could sit around all day smoking, drinking, playing video games, and when he got bored with that, he could go out and cause as much mischief as his little heart desired. My roommate had always been the class clown of our school, but now he had a chance to shine on an interdimensional stage.

As I entered the well-lit clothing store, I noticed there was somewhat of a commotion going on.

An older woman rushed out as she pulled her small grandson behind her. A couple of teenage boys had formed a small crowd and pointed into the rows of clothes with their mouths all agape, and my mind raced with the possibilities of what the two women could be doing.

“Maybe they’re making out?” Todd asked as he nonchalantly fiddled with the bag’s zipper.

When I rounded the corner, I saw what was causing the ruckus. Liby and Cupi were both standing there buck naked, giggling as they grabbed pieces of clothing off the rack and tried them on. Liby was holding up a silver dress to her soft pink skin, but even then her breasts were so large that they held the garment several inches away from her body for all to see. Cupi smiled and nodded at Libidine’s fashion choice and then bent over to pull up a pair of thigh-high socks onto her legs. My heart skipped a beat at the scene, but I knew I had to do something before we got security called on us.

Panicked, I ran toward them and threw up my hands.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! You guys can’t just get naked in the middle of the store!” I exclaimed.

Both succubi looked puzzled. “How else are we going to try on new clothes if we can’t take off our old ones?” Cupi asked.

“Yeah, Jacob! How are they?” Todd snickered.

“That’s what dressing rooms are for.” I laughed and pointed toward the back as I held up a shirt to cover Liby’s exposed breasts. “Take the clothes you want to try on in there and then change so that other people can’t see you.”

“I don’t understand.” Liby frowned with confusion. “Does showing off our bodies upset you? If so, I’ll make sure not to do it again.”

“Yeah, upsetting you is the last thing we want,” Cupi added thoughtfully.

“It’s not that.” I sighed and shook my head. “Look, girls, do you really want to draw attention to yourselves? You just broke your succubus code or whatever and said you wanted to stay with me forever. You’ll probably have some powerful demons looking for you. You need to act a little more casual.”

“Casual, got it,” Liby said as she pulled up her hair into a ponytail. “Is this better?”

“That’s better,” I laughed, “but you have to use the dressing room.” I couldn’t be mad at these two. They were just trying to have a good time, and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin it for them. But seriously, the last thing we needed was to be the center of attention.

An overweight looking man approached us before the girls could go into the dressing room. The man wore a plain gray dress shirt, with a breast pocket that held a pen and a pad of paper, as well as a pair of plain black dress pants. There was a belt on his waist that screamed in agony as it tried to keep his pants atop his nonexistent hips. The man’s face was red with rage as he ran to our position, but he had to keep stopping and pulling up on his belt to keep his trousers from falling down.

“Girls, you know you can’t be doing that here in the middle of the store!” he growled.

“I’m sorry,” I raised my hand to try to calm him down. “They’re European. There are different types of laws about nudity over there, you know? Just a bit of culture shock that’s all!” I smiled as I gestured to the girls, and they both nodded apologetically.

“Look here, mister,” the burly man’s eyes narrowed. “I’m the store manager. I don’t care if these girls are Frenchies or Krauts or Ruskis or whatever fairy-ass country they came from. You know damn well that they can’t be just flaunting their stuff right out in the open. I don’t want my classy establishment ending up on the six o’clock news and getting shut down because two whorish foreigners can’t keep their clothes on!”

“Yesh, no need to be so rude,” I shook my head.

“And what the fuck is that?” he demanded as he pointed to the duffel bag across my shoulder. “Are you trying to steal my merchandise? There are no bags allowed.”

“Okay, look,” I huffed. “It’s one thing to be an asshole, but accusing me of being a thief?”

“Is that what your plan is? Distract all of us with your slutty girlfriends while you go around and help yourself to whatever the hell you want?”

“We don’t have to take this,” I rolled my eyes at the man’s ridiculousness and turned back towards my friends. “I wouldn’t steal your shit if my life depended on it. Come on, girls let’s--”

“Tell you what.” An ugly smile grew across the manager’s face as he looked over the two women in various states of undress. “I’ll go back there with you. I’m willing to forget about this whole thing if proper… reparations are made.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked in disgust.

“Do you want me to get mall security or not?” He shrugged with an evil giggle.

Cupi frowned and strutted over to the manager. “We are Jacob’s succubi. Just because we’re not ashamed of our bodies, like some of us here should be, doesn’t mean that we’re just giving out sexual favors for free.” The blonde women gestured to the manager’s gut as she spoke, and the man’s face shifted from red to purple.

“Yeah,” Liby put her hands on her hips, and the motion caused her breasts to bounce up and down. “We’re not just common whores!”

“Coulda fooled me,” the manager huffed. “So I’m assuming that’s a no and I’m going to call security?”

“Look,” I said as I tried to defuse the situation. “I’ll take them back to the dressing room myself. There won’t be any more trouble.” I took a step toward him, and as I did, I felt rage unlike anything I’d ever felt before surge up inside me. “But you’re going to stay away from my women. As far away as your fat ass will possibly let you go. Got it?”

“Fine,” the manager squeaked, his eyes wide with terror as he backpedaled away from me. I wasn’t quite sure why he seemed so scared, but maybe I was the first person to tell him off in years.

As I watched him disappear from my sight, the rage inside me quieted. I turned with the duffel bag and motioned for the two girls to follow.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to the dressing rooms,” I said as I led them to the back of the store, Todd in tow. We found the small hallway there, and both of the beautiful women giggled as they entered the largest of the rooms together.

“Once you’ve changed, be sure to come out and show us,” I said as I sat on the seat at the end of the hallway.

Liby came out first, and she looked just as stunning as she had when I first saw her. The dark-haired demon wore a tight black dress that hugged all of her curves as it ran down her body before coming to an abrupt stop right at her inner thigh.

It should have come to no surprise, but the dress was so ridiculously low cut that two of Liby’s best assets were on prominent display. She wore a pair of stockings that ran all the way up her leg to the tip of the dress, leaving only a faint part of her pale thigh exposed. To finish off the outfit, she wore a pair of dark flat-bottomed shoes with a miniature gold feather on the tongue.

“Damn,” I said as I tried to keep my tongue from rolling on the ground like a cartoon wolf.

“You like it?” Liby asked as she ran her fingers down her sides and winked seductively at me.

“Uhhh, yeah,” I answered as I fanned my face with my hands. “I’d also like to take it off you right now.”

“Ohh, how naughty,” she giggled as her fingers began to tug lightly at the fabric that held her magnificent breasts up. “I really like naughty.”

“My turn!” Cupi called out before the door opened again, and then my eyes turned away from the dark-haired succubus so that I could study the blonde’s outfit.

I could tell by the outfit Cupi picked out that she was much less style-oriented than the dark-haired succubus. The blonde woman stepped out of the dressing room wearing a pair of form-fitting leggings and a white top. Sure, leggings were casual, but I wasn’t going to complain. Much like Libidine’s low-cut dress, they showed off one of the woman’s best features. The top she had chosen was a simple wrap style that looked almost like a tight-fitting tunic, and it accentuated her athletic body perfectly.

“That looks really amazing, Cupi,” I said as I gazed at the tall blonde’s toned body.

“I’m glad you like it,” she replied as she bit her bottom lip and looked down at my crotch. “Yes. Yes. Yes. You really do like it. I’m happy.”

“Who knew clothes could be such a turn on for Jacob?” Liby asked as she smiled at me.

“I still prefer being au natural, but I will make do for now.” Cupi smirked. “So, Jacob, what are we doing with the rest of the day?”

“We should do something fun,” Liby purred. “Something we haven’t done in… Oh, I dunno, a few hours.”

“In the dressing room?” Cupi gestured to the room they had just occupied.

“Bah!” Todd sighed. “I’m so bored. We should do something awesome and demon-like. Let’s explore the rest of the mall, try some new things, and get into trouble.”

The lightbulb went off in my head. “Oh! I’m one-hundred percent sure that there isn’t any sort of ice cream in Hell. Want to try some?”

“Yeah!” Liby let loose as she pumped her fist in the air.

“How about it, Todd? I’m sure you’ve got the munchies by now,” I asked the imp who was being unusually quiet.

“Hmmm,” I heard Todd say from inside the duffel. “I do like ice cream, but I think I’ll let you three go on ahead. I kinda wanna fly solo for a bit. I just thought of something…”

“Uh oh,” I said.

“No big deal.” He giggled. “I’ve just been thinking about what the manager wanted to do to Cupi and Liby, and I wanna have some fun at his expense. What say you, boss?”

He gave me hopeful puppy dog eyes through the open zipper of the bag, and as I looked at the imp, the manager’s fat face appeared in my mind’s eye. The rage I’d felt before swept over me, and this time it wasn’t just for my two girls, it was for all the people he’d likely accosted over the years. Yeah, a little payback was good.

“You know what, Todd? I think you’re right.” I nodded to my friend. “Go have some fun.”

The imp was out of the duffel bag so fast that he very nearly left a dust cloud afterimage of himself. Then I heard a crash as a rack of clothing was pushed over into one of the jewelry display cases of the store. As the imp skipped off to cause more mischief, I turned back to my girls.

“So, let’s get out of here.” I took their hands in mine and began walking toward the exit. “Because as fun as this will be to watch, I don’t feel like dealing with security if I can help it.”

“I’m with you, Jacob,” Liby giggled. “Let’s go get the cream you promised us.”

“Ohh, creammmm,” Cupi sighed. “Jacob did promise us a lot of his cream.

“Not that kind of cream,” I laughed. “Well, I’ll give you some of that later. I’m talking about ice cream.”

“I’m not sure what it is exactly, but it sounds delicious,” Liby said.

“Oh, it is,” I said with a smirk. “It definitely is.”

“Besides, once you’ve seen one imp cause chaos, you’ve seen them all,” Cupi added as she snuggled up next to me. “And I’d love to spend a bit more time with you, just the three of us.”

“Yeah, we can have a lot of fun with just the three of us,” her sister added as we quickly walked through the rows of clothes. I couldn’t see exactly what Todd was doing at the front of the store, but the manager was screaming in terror, and I could have sworn I heard the cash register pop open.

We made it back into the mall and then walked about fifty yards to one of the central plazas. As we walked, we passed another clothing store with mannequins at the front, and the two women whispered to each other as they pointed at the new clothes.

Having two girlfriends was definitely going to be more expensive than having one, but that was okay with me. I’d figure out how to pay for everything.

“Oh, that reminds me,” I said as I gestured to one of the mannequins and I looked at Cupi. “Why is your hair blonde? From what I’ve read, aren’t succubi supposed to have black or red hair? It’s the color of temptation and all that.”

Cupi was hesitant to open up, but after a moment, she nodded once and answered. “As I may have mentioned before, I wasn’t always a demon. Originally, I was a warrior of Heaven who fought against Satan and his minions. Then, I fell.”

“How did you fall?”

“I’m a succubus,” she shot back at me. “I think you can figure it out.”

“What was that like?” I asked. “Switching sides in the battle for all eternity?”

The blonde woman shrugged. “It really doesn’t feel that much different. I still have powers. I’m still immortal. The only real difference is that I get to have more fun when I’m being bad!”

“It doesn’t bother you that you’re working for the literal Devil?” I asked.

“Lucifer,” she corrected. “He prefers being called Lucifer. And no, not really. I’m just a pawn in the oldest battle of all time. I may as well get to enjoy myself while I’m at it.”

“Well, I, for one, am glad you made that decision,” Liby said as we arrived at the bright green sign of the Olde Time Ice Creame Parlor. “Our side is definitely the fun side.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” I said as I gestured at the shop. “You’ve never had ice cream.” I smiled. “And this particular ice cream parlor has been my favorite. They have twenty-five different flavors and can mix and match the scoops and ingredients.”

With that, I ignored their confused expressions and led them inside. The tile on the floor revealed the store’s age, as the once-white pieces of ceramic now oozed a nasty brown and black color. I’d always been worried that the health inspector was going to shut this place down someday, but perhaps the sheer deliciousness of the product kept it going. Even so, Father Time had not been kind to the place.

“We’ll do three cones, please!” I joyfully told the old man behind the counter before I turned to my succubi. “What flavors do you guys want?”

“Hmmm…” Liby pondered as she leaned over the glass covering.

I could see the sweat start to bead on the old man’s head as he tried his best not to stare at the dark haired woman’s cleavage. She leaned in even closer to get a better look at the different flavors, and her chest was now pressed directly up against the glass guard. It made her already large breasts even more expansive, and I wondered if Liby was going to give this poor guy a heart attack.

She looked up at the mesmerized man. “I’ll try out the coconut, please!”

“What about you, Cupi?” I asked as the server scooped up Liby’s order.

“I’m a simple girl. I’ll take the chocolate.” She shrugged.

I got an oldie but a goodie, mint chocolate chip. The man scooped up my order and motioned for me to come over to the counter as I reached down into my back pocket to retrieve my leathery brown wallet. Old Faithful, as I liked to call it, had been with me since I was in high school. Unfortunately, it never had more than twenty bucks in it that entire time. As I pulled out a ten-dollar bill, the man behind the counter shook his head.

“It’s okay, son, these cones are on the house,” he whispered to me when I had stepped over to the cash register. “It’s the least I could do to thank you for those two beauties over there! Believe me when I say that this has been the greatest highlight of my day.”

“Thanks!” I said as I grabbed the three cones. Then I turned and walked back to the two succubi.

“You two are good luck,” I said as I handed them their cones while we walked out of the shop. “He gave us these for free.”

“Humans are so kind,” Liby giggled as we walked to the back end of the store where the tables were.

“They are also easily manipulated by us,” Cupi laughed, and her sister nodded.

The three of us went over and sat down at the retro-looking table to devour our delicious treats. The store was designed to look like it came straight out of the fifties. Or maybe that was just how long it had been around? I know some of my coworkers talked about coming here when they were my age, but it couldn’t possibly be that old. Hell, maybe they even dealt with the same guy that gave us the free ice cream. He certainly looked like he had been doing this for ages. Even as we sat around chatting, several other men in the store gawked at my two women. It should have annoyed me, however I couldn’t help but be pleased because the two succubi clearly only had eyes for me.

“Are you two enjoying yourselves?” I asked as a group of security guards rushed past the ice cream shop, and I was reminded that Todd was having plenty of fun on his own.

“I definitely am,” Cupiditas said as she went at her ice cream cone, and I nearly doubled over in shock. Instead of taking small bites from the dessert, she ran her tongue vertically along the cold treat. She paused only for a moment to swallow the melting goo and then went right back at it. Cupi’s tongue was a thing of myth and legend, and now the whole ice cream shop was getting to see what she could do. As she stood there nearly performing fellatio on her cone, I was reminded of the same spectacular scene in my room last night.

“Aww…” Liby pointed at Cupi’s cone in disappointment. “The chocolate one you got was so much bigger than mine!”

“I like the bigger ones,” Cupi purred, and then she winked at me.

“Well, sometimes it isn’t always about size,” Liby said with a shrug. “Besides, the bigger ones make it harder to do this.” She took one look at the shape of the cone, opened her mouth as wide as she could, and shoved the majority of the dessert in. Her lips devoured the luscious white cream, and she closed her mouth around the scoop about halfway down to cut it off. As she raised her head back to swallow, the melting liquid ran down her chin and dribbled off onto her hand. It looked like she had taken more than she could handle, and Liby hesitated a moment before going back for more. She consumed another mouthful of the creamy dessert with one big gulp.

“Oops! You got a little on your hand there,” Cupi said as she raised Liby’s arm up, placed her fingers into her mouth, and sucked the remaining drops of cream off each one.

“Oh no, now your cone is dripping!” Liby hissed.

“Shit,” Cupi growled. “Help me. I don’t want a single drop of this to go to waste. It all needs to get in our bellies.” Both succubi started using their tongues in unison to grab any drop of ice cream that threatened to fall off Cupi’s desert.

I hadn’t even touched my cone yet, and I realized as the ice cream melted and ran down my hand. What could I say? I was just way too into this. Apparently, so was everybody else. By the time the two succubi had finished their treat, there was a group of four teenage boys pressing their faces against the far window so that they could ogle my girlfriends as they licked their creamy desert.

“Did we do something wrong?” Liby asked, now aware that all eyes were on them.

“No, no,” I laughed.

“Aww, you didn’t even get to try yours.” Liby pouted when she saw my melted cone.

“It’s probably just the heat from his powers. He’s not used to them yet.” Cupi shrugged.

I raised an eyebrow. “Powers? I have powers already? I thought we needed to have a lot of sex to--”

“When you satisfy a succubus, it increases the bond between them.” Liby explained. “However, you’ve now satisfied two different succubi, so you could end up having double the abilities.”

“Double the hellfire magic!” Cupi said with an excited grin.

“Wait,” I tried to make sense of everything, “you’re telling me that I can shoot fire out of my hands and summon demons and shit like that?”

“You will be able to eventually,” Liby said as her purple eyes glanced at my melted cone. “It’s already happening, since that ice cream cone melted much too fast.”

“I am honestly a bit surprised,” Cupi said. “I thought we would need to have way more sex before you manifested some ability. This must mean you have a tremendous amount of potential. We should test it somewhere safe.”

“What about the summoning demon thing?” I asked.

“Why do you think your friend hasn’t been mischievous or hostile toward you?” Cupi shrugged. “That’s what imps are known for. He knows that you are his master as well as ours.”

“Huh,” I said as I glanced at my melted cone. It was pretty much all liquid now, but I didn’t care.

I wanted to see if I could shoot a fireball out of my hand.

In a single move, I stood up and discarded the remnants of the melted cone into the nearest trash bin. “Let’s go see if we can wrangle in Todd. I’d  love to test out my powers.”

Chapter 5

Cupi seemed to have a sixth sense as to where Todd was, and when we finally found the imp, he was hiding inside of a rack in a lingerie store, ogling at all the women who came through to purchase their unmentionables while he munched away on a handful of greasy food he’d swiped from the food court. Honestly, I think I liked the new Todd better than the old one.

“Having a good time?” Liby giggled to the imp as he gulped down a piece of chicken and peered at a group of women by the changing rooms.

“The best of times,” Todd said before he inserted a small chicken leg into his mouth, swirled it around like a popsicle, and then pulled the naked bone out. “I’m not into demon babes, but I still get a hard on for the humans.”

“That is surprisingly comforting to hear,” I laughed. “I was worried that the transformation would have--”

“Bro,” Todd interrupted me. “Bro. Bro. Bro. No homo.”

“Oh. My. God. Dude.” I covered my face. “I wasn’t--”

“Look,” he said. “I know I’m super sexy in this demon form, but you’ve got two hot succubus girlfriends now. It’s every man’s dream. You’ll just have to let me go. I think Celine Dion wrote a song about it. Or was it Jon Secada? I can’t remember. The song goes like this though--”

“We’ve got shit to do,” I growled, and then I grabbed the little man by the arm and shoved him into my duffle bag.

“Bro, watch the guns!” he squealed when I put him in the bag. “That’s the ladies’ second favorite part of my new bod.”

“And the first part is your--”

“Massive horse penis,” he finished for me.

“I have seen these horses.” Liby shrugged as we all walked out of the lingerie store. “Their penises are much larger than--”

“It’s a figure of speech!” Todd shouted from inside of my bag, and a mall security guard walking past us jerked his head in our direction.

“Shhhh!” I hissed back, and I gestured for my two girlfriends to walk a little faster as we turned toward the mall exit.

“I think there is an alleyway over here,” I said as I pointed to the side of the mall. I sometimes see kids skateboard over there. It might be a good spot for us to test out my new magic powers.

“Lead the way, Jacob,” Cupi said, and we all continued our walk around the large building.

The alley dead-ended into a loading dock, and there were a few large green trash bins off to one side, but it was otherwise deserted, and the afternoon sun was shielded by the angle of the mall’s walls.

It was a rather perfect place to test out my new powers, and I opened my duffle bag so that Todd could jump out.

As we stood out in the dark alleyway, Todd pulled out one of his joints and took a puff. He let out a long sigh as he exhaled the smoke of the sweet leaf into the surrounding air.

“Where the hell did you even get that? It’s not like you have pockets.” I coughed. Despite frequent exposure, smoke still bugged me a lot of the time.

“Oh, I have my secrets.” He snickered before he took another puff. “Many secrets.”

Cupi looked curiously at the little white cylinder in the imp’s hand. A devilish grin spread across his face as he exhaled again and outstretched his hand to offer it to her. The succubus clasped the cigarette between her thumb and index finger similarly to how somebody who had never touched one would hold it. She raised the joint up to her lips, but I reached out to intercept it.

“Whoa, whoa!” I snatched the cigarette out of her hand. “I’m not sure you’re ready for that kind of Earthly pleasure yet!”

“Jacob, I’ve already experienced the greatest pleasures this realm has to offer thanks to you and your massive manhood.” Cupi crossed her arms and pouted. “What’s it going to hurt if I inhale a bit of crushed herb? Todd seems to be over the moon for it!”

“Yeah, man, don’t be a downer. That’s the good shit right there,” the imp pleaded. “I got it from that tweaker-looking dude on the first floor. He said it was the highest-quality stuff money could buy!”

“All the more reason to not let Cupi smoke it. I don’t trust that guy as far as I can throw him, and that’s not very far,” I said as I reluctantly handed the joint back to the imp.

“Thanks. You never know when you’re going to need a good high. Life comes at you fast, man.” He shrugged. “Just look at the two of us. Two days ago, we were down on our luck, poor roommates living in a shitty apartment. Now? I’ve got the body of a God and you have two succubi that are literally facing down Hell for you. I’d say things are looking up!” The little imp placed his hands behind his head.

I raised an eyebrow. “You know, we still live in the shitty apartment, and we’re still poor. I ate the last of our food for the week, remember?”

Cupi wrapped an arm gracefully around my shoulder. “That’s not true at all, Jacob,” she purred. “You are now endowed with the same Hellfire we are. Your powers may be in their early stages, but, they will soon grow stronger beyond your wildest dreams.”

“I don’t know, my imagination can get pretty wild.” I wrapped my arm around the blonde succubus.

Cupiditas’ words were music to my ears. She was right. I controlled my own destiny now. And nobody was going to get in my way. Just let them try. As the succubus’ words replayed like a soft whisper in my head, Liby’s curvy figure appeared out of the door.

“So, girls, what kind of powers do I have?” I asked. “Can we test them out right here in this alley? Or do I need to be somewhere secluded just in case I end up summoning a thousand demons into our dimension?”

“You’re not quite that strong yet.” Liby shrugged. “But I would guess that your power will grow quickly. This spot will work for today, but there is a chance that you might accidentally destroy the walls.”

“Destroy the walls?” I asked as my stomach dropped. “I can really do that now.”

“We won’t know until you first try it out.” Cupi shrugged. “But yes, my sister is correct. We should go somewhere a little more discrete.”

“I know just the place!” Todd exclaimed as a lightbulb seemed to go off in his stoned head.

The imp started to scurry off down the street and motioned for us to follow him. He got to about the end of the alleyway before I heard somebody scream. Todd turned around and made an even more exaggerated motion, but I placed my hands on my hips, looked at the ground, and shook my head. He didn’t follow at first, so I had to motion toward the duffel bag that was slung over my shoulder.

“Aw, come on…” he moaned as he walked back to our position, head hung in defeat.

“Sorry, buddy. You know we have to be as inconspicuous as possible. Look at it this way, you can guide us from the comfort of your own personal hammock!” I joked as the imp climbed up into the bag.

“You make an excellent point. Now mush, transportation monkey!” He smirked as I zipped the bag closed.

“All hail the Toddster,” I said with a smirk as I carried him out of the alley.

“Damn right!” Todd said from within the bag.

It didn’t take long for him to direct us to an old, abandoned parking garage on the west side of town. Apparently, this was where he liked to come when he “needed a break from life,” which I took as a code phrase for “wanted to get stoned in private.” It took us nearly an hour to reach the place as the impish form of GPS we were using got us lost three or four times. Then again, I couldn’t really blame him since he could barely see where we were going.

To call this an abandoned parking garage was almost too kind. It was quite obvious that this was a popular place for local hooligans to hang out. Makeshift skateboard ramps littered the first level while the entirety of the building appeared to be covered with bright red and yellow graffiti. Several of the support columns had chunks of concrete missing, and I wondered how the whole place was even still standing. Would it even be able to withstand whatever we were going to be doing?

“Guess this is as good of a place as any,” I said as I set down the duffel bag and unzipped it so the imp could run free while we got to work. He sprang out of the carrier and bolted over to the nearest pillar, and he proceeded to climb it like a spider monkey.

“Your abilities are still growing,” Cupi said as she caressed my shoulder, “but I can give you a general idea of what they are. Demon powers are always based upon your current emotion and are fueled by your intimate fantasies. When a demon is angry, for example, the powers they manifest are different from when they are in a different emotional state, but all colored by their inner nature and desires. So tell me, Jacob, what are your innermost desires?”

“You mean other than having a repeat of what the two of you did last night?” I joked.

Libidine raised her finger in the air in realization. “Jacob is a kind soul. And he’s a generous lover. I’m almost certain some of his powers are defensive in nature.”

“Defensive?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You have an inclination to protect things, Jacob.” Cupi answered. “It’s why you are treating us like we are your friends and fellow human beings rather than simple demon sex slaves. Our other masters were never like that. They wanted us to do one thing and one thing only. And when we didn’t comply, they’d beat and torture us in the most unimaginably cruel ways. I know your mind was quite preoccupied, but did you notice the large scar on my inner thigh last night?” She dropped her head sadly. “That’s from Earl, our ‘current’ demonic overlord. One of my sisters refused to do the fucked up things he wanted her to do, and he started to beat her with a whip made of pure Hellfire. I tried to stand up for her, but he didn’t take it too well and…”

“It’s okay, Cupi,” I reassured the succubus with a warm embrace. “Those are just memories now. I’m not going to let anything like that happen to you ever again.”

I meant it too. I would go to the ends of the Earth, or even farther, to protect my succubi and my friends. It sounded like Cupi and Liby’s former masters were abusive bastards, and I wanted to be the polar opposite. No matter what my powers ended up being, I was going to use them for good … and a little fun on the side, of course.

“Alright, defensive powers I can work with.” Cupi nodded as she recomposed herself. “Jacob, I want you to look down deep into your psyche. Think about what is the most important thing in the world to you and think about what you would do to protect it.”

I closed my eyes and focused on the succubus’ words. My mind raced as it brought forth the images of my family back home in Kansas City. I thought about Todd in his new imp form. I thought about Cupi and Liby. As the pictures danced past my mind, I felt a slight burning sensation in my chest that reminded me of the time I had downed an entire bottle of cinnamon whiskey in one sitting. Only this time, I wasn’t collapsed over the cold ceramic of the toilet and puking my guts out. Instead, as I opened my eyes I felt calm, nearly at peace with myself and the world around me.

“Excellent.” I heard Cupi’s encouraging words pass by my ears. “I can feel your compassion. Now, show me how much you care!”

Hellfire spouted from her hands and she flung a basketball-sized red fireball directly at Todd, who now clung to the ceiling of the structure with his demon claws.

“What are you doing?” I cried as I reached out toward Todd, and as I did, my skin began to glow.

Purple sparks leapt from my hands as a wash of heat erupted from my fingertips. Todd saw the deadly projectile as it hurled furiously at him, but he could do little but flinch as it rocketed towards his position. The space in front of Todd shimmered for an instant, and then a shield of protective purple flame appeared between the imp and the fireball.

Cupi’s attack collided with the bright violet wall, curled around the edges of the shield, and singed the area around Todd in a circle, and that caused the ceiling to collapse around him. The imp flailed his stubby arms as he fell, but instead of hitting the ground, he collided against the purple shield with a dull thud.

I could barely believe my eyes. I had created the protective barrier like it had been second nature. All I had wanted to do was protect my friend from danger, but my powers responded to my feelings without any sort of conscious thought.

“I knew you could do it!” Cupi said with a bounce that made it hard to be annoyed with her for trying to vaporize Todd. “Now try to use your power to lower him to the ground.”

“Got it,” I said as I focused again.

I continued to follow my feelings and gestured with my hand. The power in me followed and created another purple wall of flames three feet below the one Todd currently rested on. With a quick mental command, the first shield disappeared, and the imp fell into the second. Then I repeated the process a few more times to get my friend safely to the ground. As he fell, the imp looked like a shriveled red Plinko chip descending the game board. Once he was on the ground, Todd ran his stubby arms across his body as if to check and see if he was still in one piece.

“What… the… fuck?” he asked as his eyes became as wide as saucers, and he fumbled around for a joint.

Libidine chuckled from behind us. “See? Defensive powers!”

“How does a purple flame protect against Hellfire?” I asked. “Shouldn’t it be some sort of white shield or something?”

“The purple flame comes from the part of the underworld reserved for transportation through the river of souls. It’s made to get you from one place to another safely, hence why it doesn’t burn anything.” The succubus raised her finger. “The red fire, on the other hand, is pulled from the deepest pits of Hell itself, and if you’ve never been to Hell, trust me, it’s hot!”

“Wait a tick,” Todd threw up his hands in confusion, “can demons even get burned? Hell is all about fire and brimstone. Shouldn’t we all, like, be immune? At least that’s what all the sites I read told me.”

“Don’t believe everything you read.” Liby shrugged.

“Hell most definitely has fire,” Cupi explained, “but it’s not the place you were taught about in Sunday School, where everything is aflame and volcanic. It’s more of an… abstract sort of place. There’s lots of torture… screams… darkness… beasts too horrific to describe. Fire is used to punish the people who are sent there for eternity as well as any demons or hellspawns who choose to disobey their masters. So, long story short, yes, we can be burnt.”

Now I was intrigued. “Can I conjure up something like what you just did?”

“Your powers are derived from Lucifer and the pits of Hell themselves. Of course, you can summon up fire,” The succubus laughed. “But it will take a different set of emotions than what you just showed protecting Todd. Here,” she wrapped her hand over mine and raised it to chest level. “I want you to think about your darkest fantasies, your most passionate memories, and then snap your fingers to command the Hellfire to you.”

I closed my eyes as my mind raced back to Cupi on her knees in my bedroom, nearly salivating as she marveled at my naked body. Then I remembered the first night, the one with Libidine. I remembered how she had ridden me nearly raw and the sounds of pleasure that screamed out of her when we were in the throes of making love. Then I thought about how I wanted to do it all again with both of them at the same time.

This time, it felt like my skin was on fire. My hands screamed as if they were being poked at by thousands of tiny, red-hot needles as they grew warmer and warmer. Yet, I felt no pain. I could feel the heat of the Hellfire in my palms, but it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation whatsoever. In fact, it made me feel more powerful than I had ever felt before in my entire life.

I opened my eyes and was greeted by the sight of both of my hands surrounded by a vibrant reddish-yellow fire. The flames danced off my fingertips, threatening to leap from my hands and ignite the ground in front of me. Instead, I took aim at one of the pillars of the parking garage, wound up my right arm as if I was throwing a baseball, and thrust my open hand forward. An orb of fire the size of a tennis ball ejected from my burning palm and crashed into the support. Normally, concrete wouldn’t catch fire, but the blast burning with fire from the pits of Hell seemed to be strong enough to set it ablaze. The pillar burned with the crimson flame for a few seconds before abruptly melting into a crude puddle of rock, steel, slag, and plaster. As the support structure liquified, the ceiling above it started to bend. With a groan, it collapsed and sent large chunks of concrete and asphalt onto the ground below.

“Holy shit,” I muttered under my breath.

“Okay, I’m out!” Todd muttered as he dodged pieces of concrete that careened toward him.

The imp scurried out of the way of the falling debris, and as he did so he vanished as if he had teleported. I could still hear the pitter-patter of Todd’s hooves on the pavement, though, but I couldn’t see him.

“Uhhh, Todd?” I asked as the two succubi and I frantically twisted our necks to try to find the small imp.

“I’m here!” he called out, and the three of us looked up to the ceiling.

“We can’t see you,” Liby said as her mouth twisted with confusion.

“Oh. That’s cool.” Todd’s small figure suddenly appeared hanging from the roof like a spider, and then he swung down from a beam above and landed on the ground in front of us.

“What did you--” I started to ask, but Todd interrupted me.

“So, apparently I can turn invisible now,” he laughed. “That’s gonna come in so handy when I’m meeting with my dealers!”

“We probably should have told you.” Cupi smirked as she looked at me. “Because we are such a close-knit group, all three of us can feed off your powers. The stronger you get, the stronger our own powers become. Todd must have just discovered his first ability.”

“It fits his personality perfectly!” The dark-haired succubus nodded. “Now he can spy on all the women and steal all the food he wants without getting caught.”

“I. Am. So. Awesome,” the imp said as he placed his arms behind his head.

“It’s actually Jacob,” Cupi pointed out.

“My. Friendship. With. Jacob. Makes. Me. Totally. Awesome.” Todd nodded sagely.

“Oh boy,” I laughed, but then Libidine wrapped her arms around me from behind, and I could feel her large breasts pressed up against my back.

“Do you know what the best part is?” she whispered sweetly into my ear. “These are your powers with just two succubi. There is much more room for them to grow! With a deeper connection to your succubi or additional members added to your harem, your power will be immeasurable. Just think about it. You could summon fireballs ten times as large as the one you hit the pillar with! You could bring forth rings of Hellfire as tall as the largest skyscraper in town! With a little more practice, your purple shields could become full-on telekinesis abilities!”

“Tell me more about growing our connection and becoming more powerful,” I said.

“Remember how you summoned us, with a smear of your blood?” Cupi asked. “A piece of your soul is now bonded with us, Jacob. As we spend time together, enjoy each other both physically and emotionally, our connection will grow stronger. That’s why it is so important that we stick together and have as much fun as humanly possible.”

“That’s my boy’s middle name!” Todd clapped excitedly.

“Charles?” Liby asked, and I wondered how she knew my middle name.

“No!” the imp laughed. “It is ‘fun.’”

“Ohhhh,” the dark-haired beauty giggled and looked at me. “Yes, that would be a very fitting name for him.

“So, where do we go from here?” Todd asked.

“Not to be a Debbie-Downer, but I’m kind of starting to worry about this Earl guy you keep talking about.” I turned to Liby and Cupi as I spoke. “We’ve been together for almost a full day now. I’m sure by this point he’s noticed that you’re missing. We need to stay here and keep training so that we can be prepared in case he comes back.”

Todd clicked his tongue. “All work and no play makes Todd a dull boy. You heard the sexy demon women, Jacob. We’re supposed to be having fun!”

“I agree with the imp,” Libidine cooed. “We’ve had enough work for one day. Let’s go play instead.”

“Ms. Fallen Angel warrior?” I turned to Cupi, assuming that she was going to side with me on this one.

The athletic succubus just shrugged. “We’ve done about all we can with the power levels you’re currently working with. The only way you’re going to get any stronger is by the three of us strengthening our connection.”

“That’s the spirit, Cupi!” Todd clapped his hands together happily. “I know just the place. Hear me out on this one. There’s this little dive bar just down the road from here. Cheap beer, amazing nachos, and a total honeypot for all the babes in this part of town. It’ll be great!” Before any of us could even respond, Todd took off towards the horizon and vanished a few feet into his stride.

I looked at the succubi in confusion and shrugged. “Well, that’s far from the worst idea he’s ever had. I guess to the bar it is. Follow that imp!”

I pointed in the direction our friend had disappeared, and the three of us ran down the road towards whatever Todd had just gotten us into. It may not be blowing up shit with Hellfire, but I’m sure it was going to be a blast.

Chapter 6

“Voila, my friends,” the disembodied voice of Todd chuckled as he kicked open the doors of the dive bar. “Welcome to paradise!”

The sights and smells of Todd’s two-star establishment hit us like a freight train. The entire place reeked of cigarette smoke, whiskey, and a faint ammonia-like scent that I was just going to pretend came from an unknown mixed drink. As we walked through the bar, our shoes stuck to the sugary, alcohol-covered ground with each step that we took. Some sad country song blared over the radio as the four of us sauntered across the way to a high top table and climbed up into padded chairs.

“Four beers please,” I ordered from a server walking by. “Something strong and hoppy, if you have it.”

“Sure thing.” The man nodded. He scribbled down my words onto the notepad he carried and then hustled away to grab our drinks.

“Aw, come on,” Todd snickered. “You know I only drink the real hard stuff.”

“That’s not a good idea.” I shook my head. “Remember the last time you drank Tequila?”

“Can’t say that I do,” the disembodied voice of the imp replied.

“Exactly,” I laughed. “But the Pattersons in thirty-six B and I definitely remember. If I never hear that damn song again in my life it’ll be too soon. You must have played it like fifty times on full blast.”

“What song? You mean, ‘Dada dada da da da da-‘” the imp started to sing before I held up a finger to shush him.

“Beer is all I can afford for the four of us, so take it or leave it,” I chuckled.

“Look at that, sister,” Liby smiled as she slapped Cupi’s arm. “He gave us a fun time last night, and now he’s buying us alcohol. It’s refreshing to have a kind master for once in our lives. Unlike Earl or Azazel or Mammon. Remember that guy?”

“Unfortunately,” Cupiditas rolled her eyes.

Libidine turned to me to elaborate. “Mammon was our overlord before Earl. He had an entire legion of succubi, and his powers manifested themselves in the form of control over human wills. He could literally sweet talk anyone into doing anything he pleased. On top of that, Mammon’s desire for the biggest and best allowed him to call forth weapons and armor made from the strongest steel, forged in the pits of Hell themselves.”

“Sounds like my kinda guy!” Todd clapped. “He’s got all the babes, all the goodies, and he can make people do whatever the fuck he wants.”

“You said ‘former master.’ What happened to him?” I asked curiously.

Liby put her hand on Cupi’s shoulder. “He bugged Lilith, so she destroyed him.”

“Oh fuck. The original succubus.” Todd couldn’t hide the fear in his voice as the words slid out.

Liby looked at him, concerned. “That’s right. Even with his legions of succubi and immense powers, Mammon was little more than a bug to the Demon Queen.”

Cupi smashed her hand down on the table dramatically and leaned in to make her point. “So she squashed him like the cockroach he was. Blood and guts and gore were everywhere! I was there. It was quite satisfying to watch.”

“Uh… Things are getting a little too intense over here for me,” the imp declared as he started to shimmy off the high-top chair. “Now’s probably the time to go take a leak.”

I grabbed Todd by the arm as he passed by me. “Just the bathroom and straight back, alright? I don’t even know if you’ll need to use your invisibility powers. These guys are so drunk off their asses that they probably won’t even think you’re real, but we don’t need any trouble regardless.”

“Okie dokie, Mr. Ralston!” the imp shouted as he scurried off toward the back of the bar.

The bartender finally brought over our four bottles of beer, popped the tops off, and slid them into our hands before walking away. I raised mine to indicate a toast, but the two succubi just stared at me blankly. I nodded for them to follow suit, but instead, the two women just mimicked my facial expression.

“You’re supposed to raise them in celebration,” I smiled. “To awesome demon powers and new friendships.”

“Is that all?” Libidine let out a sly grin as she raised her bottle.

“To the best sex I’ve ever had, and the hope that there will be much more of it,” I continued.

“Oh, there will be more. Much, much more,” Cupiditas assured, her hand now raised into the air.

“To freedom from Earl!” Liby exclaimed.

“To freedom from Earl!” Cupi repeated.

“That’s something we can all toast to,” I nodded.

The three of us clinked our bottles together and then chugged the alcohol down our gullets in a single attempt. We ordered another round and downed them almost as quickly as we had the first. I hadn’t eaten much today, so I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol already.

“Can succubi even get drunk?” I asked the two women across from me as my vision started to blur.

The two women both shrugged before Liby spoke up. “Well, don’t you want to find out? I’m sure you’ve been with a million drunken mortals. Can you imagine what it would be like to be with two drunken, horny demons?”

“Oh, I can imagine it alright,” I smirked as a hundred different images raced through my mind. “My only concern would be that you’d accidentally let loose your powers while we were in the middle of it. ‘Death by Orgasm’ isn’t exactly what I want on my tombstone.”

“That doesn’t happen,” Liby quipped. “Often.”

“Fuck it, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” I slurred.

The bartender returned with another round of beers, and I don’t even remember finishing them. My senses started to feel like they were blending together. I could feel the loud music pounding in my head and I could nearly taste the cigarette smoke that wafted through the room. Maybe I just needed to get something in my stomach to counteract the alcohol.

I reached down to pull out my wallet so I could order us up some nachos and realized that seven dollar tortilla chips with cheese were a luxury I couldn’t afford. A sigh left my mouth as I grumpily tossed my wallet on the table.

“Perhaps we could be of assistance?” Cupi suggested when she saw my frustration, and she motioned for the bartender to come over. “There are… other ways of paying for things where we come from.”

“What can I do you for, doll?” the man asked Cupi.

“Two orders of nachos, please. The saltier, the better,” she smirked.

“Sure thing! Do you want me to put this on his tab, or--” the man started to say.

Libidine’s violet eyes began to glow intensely as she leaned across the table and stared deeply into our server’s baby blues. “It would be very kind of you to give us those nachos free of charge.”

The bartender’s eyes narrowed into pinpricks as the dark-haired succubus’ spell washed over him. His entire body tensed up as Liby’s words seemed to echo through his brain. The bartender’s eyes returned to normal, and he rubbed his head in confusion.

“I, uh…” he tripped over his words. “I’ll go get you those nachos.”

As he walked away, Cupi gave me a devilish grin. “See? My sisters and I are quite persuasive.”

“Damn,” I laughed. “I should have asked you to order us a couple bottles of the high-end stuff!”

“Whoa, whoa!” Todd’s impish voice called up from below. “You got the party started without me?”

I stared down at my friend. “That must have been the longest leak in history. What were you doing in there? You know it counts as playing with yourself if you touch it more than twice, right?”

“If only!” the imp laughed. “No, I just ran into some dude in there who wanted to ask me a bunch of questions. Real classy looking guy. He was far too sophisticated for this place. Anyways, I think he was totally jealous of my tan.”

In a buzzed movement, I swiped Todd off the ground with both of my hands and held him in the air like I was showing him off. “Who wouldn’t want to marvel at you? You magnificent little imp!”

“Let’s play a game!” Liby said, and the four of us stumbled over to the dart board and tried our damnedest to get a game in.

Most of our throws ended up going completely off the mark and punched holes into the wooden wall. Todd struggled particularly hard as he had to launch his darts at an upward angle. Even so, he was the only one that was landing any on the target. He wound up his next throw, pulled back, and released. Just as the dart was about to hit the second-to-last ring, I threw up a purple barrier and laughed ecstatically.

“One of these days, Jacob. Straight to the moon!” he laughed as he shook his tiny fist at me.

We sauntered over to the pool table. Though the effects of the alcohol were now wearing off, I was still a bit too drunk to line up my shots. Liby and Cupi didn’t seem buzzed though, and they each took turns caressing the pool cues and bending over the table suggestively before they made their shots. Pretty much every single patron in the bar was watching them play, and I felt a surge of pride in my chest when a pair of hard looking biker dudes raised their beer mugs to toast me across the room.

The food arrived after the women finished their first game, and we all scarfed down the salty nachos before playing again. The food helped with the buzz a bit, so I set up the pool table for another round.

Then I saw Cupi and Liby both freeze in terror and dropped their pool cues when a well-dressed man walked toward us.

He cast a long shadow that stretched across the bar from the setting sun. He walked with a peculiar gait, nearly hobbling as his shiny black shoes clunked across the sticky wooden floor. The figure looked like your average slimy businessman, a gray suit on his body and sleek blond hair that appeared to have far too much product in it. What gave him away were his eyes, which shined a bright purple as they pierced into my very soul.

“Hey,” Todd said in a drunken stupor, “that’s the guy from the bathroom earlier.”

“Hello, Mr. Ralston,” the man nodded calmly. “My name is Earl, and I’m here to take back my succubi.”

Chapter 7

“Ahhh, you're the asshole that Libidine and Cupiditas don’t like,” I growled.

“What kinda name is Earl, anyway?” Todd giggled. “You gonna make me a sandwich?”

“It’s derived from the old English word for a warrior, if you must know,” the man in the suit laughed as he turned to Todd.

“It’s super gayyy,” Todd droned. “Gaaaayyyyyyyy.”

“But my name is irrelevant,” Earl hissed as he ran his hands through his perfect blonde hair and turned to me. “The thing is, Mr. Ralston, you have two of my succubi. Two of my best ones, I might add. They were supposed to fulfill their duties to you and your friend and then return to us. Thousands of people out there ask for their services by the hour, you know. What kind of businessman would I be if I denied them their wishes?”

“Liby and Cupi want to stay here with me,” I said with a shrug. I was trying to act cool, but in reality my heart was slamming into my chest.

I was mouthing off to a demon lord.

“I mean, you were talking to me in the bathroom,” Todd continued. “Who does that? Also, look at your shoes, so pretty. Do you have gel or something in your hair? Gaaaaaayyyyyy.”

“They let you call them Liby and Cupi?” Earl asked me as he tried to ignore Todd. “That means they really like you. Normally my succubi only use their pet names when they really like a client.”

“Jacob is more than a client! He is our new lord,” Libidine protested, much to the horror of Cupi.

“Your posture is really upright, too,” Todd kept talking. “Like someone rammed a broomstick up your ass or something.”

“Is he now?” Earl asked Cupi after he glared at the imp. “A mere mortal, a lord? I’m sure you’re flattered by their loyalty, but this isn’t the first time my succubi have tried to pull a stunt like this. It’s quite common, actually. These two are always finding some human who they claim is their new lord, who will protect them from me and Lilith and even Lucifer himself. And you know what happens to them all? They burn … or worse.”

“He’s lying!” Cupi spat from behind Libidine.

“Was that Cupiditas I heard?” Earl questioned, surprise evident in his voice. “You’ve never been one to step out of line, especially after what happened to Tristitia. You must really like this human! Maybe all three of you deserve a session with the torture master?”

“I dunno,” Todd said after he took another long pull of his beer. “I think ‘gaylord’ is more fitting that ‘torture master.’”

“Will you stop?” Earl growled at Todd. “This conversation doesn’t concern you, and my sexual preference is my own--”

“So you are a gaylord then?” Todd giggled.

“Hey, it’s not a big deal if Earl is gay,” I said with a shrug. “Different strokes for different folks.

“You both seem to not understand the thrust of the situation,” Earl sighed.

“Oh mah god you said ‘thrust,’” Todd giggled.

“I’m about done with your teasing,” the demon lord growled. “I am here for what is mine, and you two idiots aren’t going to stop me.” Earl’s gaze flicked between us in turn as he took a step toward the two succubi.

“They’re staying here, Earl.” I reaffirmed my position by stepping in front of my friends and facing down the pimp. “These two haven’t told me much about you, but from what they have told me, you seem like a real douche.”

By this point, the bar was silent as everyone now focused on the uneasy tension between myself and the man in the suit. Earl didn’t seem to care about the attention. He just slicked back his hair and took another step toward us.

I’d had enough of his bullshit.

I pulled my arm back and thought about having sex with Cupi and Liby tonight. Almost instantly, a baseball-sized fireball appeared in my hand. I couldn’t feel the heat of my magic on my palm, but everyone else in the bar closed their eyes and let out a shot of surprise.

Then they all screamed when I threw the fireball at the demon as hard as I could.

The ball of flame hit the demon dead center in the face, and for half a moment it looked like he was going to fall down, but my magic did little more than knock his head backward and disorient him for a moment.

“Ow… You almost hurt me.” He mocked as he calmly pulled out a comb to restyle his mussed hair back into place. The screams of the other bar patrons filled the room as they tried to rush for the nearest exit. “Almost.”

“Cupi,” I said as I turned toward the succubus. “I thought you said demons burned!”

“Your powers are still budding, Jacob!” she cried out. “In demonic terms, that attack was little more than a punch from a toddler.”

My eyes bulged in disbelief at the succubus. “You couldn’t have told me that before I attacked him?”

“That’s okay! The Toddster is here to save the day!” Todd cried as he made a comical karate pose with a bent leg lifted in the air. “Come any closer and I’ll give you the old one-two.”

“Fool,” Earl sneered as he snapped his fingers. There was a whoosh of heat, and the next thing I know Todd had been blown backward in a cloud of burning cinders and ash.

“Todd!” I cried as he smashed into the far wall and slumped to the floor, flesh charred. He tried to move, but it was all he could do to meet my eyes.

“Jacob…” he coughed. “My best weed is in the closet…” He slumped to the ground and twitched.

“You killed Todd!” I screamed as rage exploded from me.

“I merely disciplined him.” Earl shrugged. “He will recover, should I allow it.” His eyes met mine, and somehow, his comment made me even angrier. This smug bastard thought he could do whatever he wanted.

A scream of rage ripped from my body, and the temperature in the room suddenly rose twenty degrees as electricity crackled in the surrounding air. A dark wind howled through the bar, carrying with it the smell of sulfur and brimstone. Fire whipped around me as I summoned flames once more.

“I admire the enthusiasm, Mr. Ralston, but mine’s bigger,” he said as he began to summon enormous flames from his fingertips and raised an eyebrow slyly.

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Liby called out from behind us as she stepped forward and readied her own blast of Hellfire.

“The way you say that, Libidine, makes me think you’ve forgotten your place,” Earl growled as he raised his hands to his side. “Don’t worry. You’ll be getting an object lesson on just how large I really am in a moment.”

Earl clapped his hands together, and the crimson flames rose to nearly three feet high. As the flames rose, Liby pulled back her fists to attack, but Earl unleashed his full power at us, and I flung a purple flame up in front of our group to try to halt his fireball.

As the immense blast crashed into my barrier, the red and purple fire danced together as they tried to overwhelm each other. I was able to hold out for the first blast, but the demon pimp’s second effort created a massive impact. The  three of us were sent flying back across the bar, accompanied by the crash of breaking wood and the shattering of glass bottles as we bounced along the sticky floor.

“You’re stronger than I thought,” Earl’s voice boomed as he sauntered across the room like a serial killer from a slasher movie. “But soon you will burn just like everyone else who dares to challenge Azazel and his followers.”

“That’s me, Mr. Full of Surprises,” I groaned as I picked myself up off the floor. “Just imagine how surprised you’ll be when I kick your ass, take Liby and Cupi home with me, and give them a good life.”

Earl’s facial expression remained unchanged, but I could tell my words had gotten to him. His eyes simmered as they dug into me like daggers, and his fists were now tightened into a ball. He was pissed that I had taken his women. He had more than enough power to turn me into little more than a pile of ashes on the floor, but if I could keep him distracted for long enough, maybe I could figure out how to beat him.

“You know, Earl, I would have thought a demon in charge of a whole army of gorgeous naked women would be a little… more handsome?” I’d normally never insult how ugly a guy was, and Earl actually wasn’t ugly, but I was guessing that he was incredibly vain.

“Bro,” Todd coughed as he raised his hand to point at Earl. “He’s so obviously gay. My gaydar is going like beep, beep, beeeeeeep!”

“Earl is actually known for not enjoying his succubi,” Cupi said as she twisted her mouth in thought.

“I never really thought about it,” Liby said with a nod, “but doesn’t Earl have more incubi in his service than succubi? Maybe there is a--”

“Stop,” Earl interrupted as he pointed across the bar at me. “I know exactly what you are trying to do, Mr. Ralston, and it’s not going to work. I’ve killed dozens of demons and angels across the centuries. Do you really think you’re going to do what they could not?”

“I’m going to try,” I said as I braced myself for the next attack. “I’ll do anything to defend my women.”

“Just surrender,” Earl said, “and I’ll ensure that your death is--”

Todd’s heel slammed into the side of the demon’s head as my impish friend delivered a Karate Kid style crane kick that sent Earl staggering. As Todd dropped to the ground, his foot lashed out, cleanly swept the leg, and knocked Earl to the floor.

“I’m not afraid to sweep the leg, bitch!” he cried before he turned to me. “Blast this gay asshole, Jacob!”

“Innuendos!” I cried as I summoned up all my fury once more.

My flames began to glow with purple light even though I was readying an attack. That was odd, but I didn’t have time to think about it because Earl was already starting to recover. I flung my hands out and unleashed a blast of purple-tinged Hellfire that completely engulfed the demonic pimp.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to kill the Servant of Azazel!” Earl’s voice boomed as he stepped forth from the raging inferno I’d unleashed. His clothes were singed, and his flesh looked a bit charbroiled, but as he paused to straighten his tie, I realized the wounds were already starting to heal. Before I had a chance to react, Earl flung another one of his fireballs at us.

A shot of purple flame sprang from Cupiditas and Libidine as wings sprouted from their backs.

“We have to run!” Cupi cried as she grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and hauled me out of the way. The ceiling of the bar was fairly low, but she was able to fly up out of the way of the attack. I felt the white-hot heat from the blast nearly melt my shoes as it passed beneath us.

The blonde woman’s wings beat the air as she wrapped her arms protectively around me, and I had a split second to freak out before I realized Liby had rescued Todd. It was a good thing, too. The blast ripped through the wall of the bar behind him, not only vaporizing it, but also turning the cement floor into bubbling slag.

“I’ll distract him,” Cupi told me as she sat me down on the ground while Liby dropped Todd beside me. The two women looked at each other and nodded before splitting up so they could flank their former master.

“You dare to deny me my kill?” Earl screamed, finally losing his cool. “You harlots would be nothing without my guidance!”

He unleashed a full blast of fire at Cupi, who was able to dodge it gracefully using her wings. Then the succubus swooped down toward her pimp and slugged him across the face as she passed by. Earl’s entire body spun around from the impact of the blow, but as he tried to reorient himself, Libidine hit him in the chest with one of her own fireballs, causing him to careen backward to crash into the main bar.

For half a moment, I thought we’d beaten him, but the demon stood up from the heap of rubble and cracked his neck. His suit was now covered with blackish blood and had a large burn hole in the chest, but he appeared to have taken no damage himself whatsoever.

Libidine and Cupiditas flanked the demon once more. Liby came around on his left and unleashed a flurry of flames toward his position while Cupi went in for a close-range attack. Earl dodged the fire but was caught off guard by Cupiditas as the athletic succubi thrust both her feet into his chest and sent him tumbling across the floor.

“Let’s get in there!” I yelled at Todd, and we charged back into the thick of things.

The imp lashed at Earl’s chest, sending a cloud of crimson mist into the air before he was tossed to the side by the man in the suit. As I approached, I unleashed as many blasts of Hellfire as I possibly could, but Earl simply absorbed the attacks like they were snowballs.

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” Earl asked as he got back to his feet. He flexed his fingers and red fire shimmered from his hands.

“Not in this lifetime,” I spat as I launched another fireball at the demon pimp.

Before my attack could reach its target, a shimmering black fire engulfed the ball of flames and dissolved it into nothing.

“That is quite enough, you two,” a higher-pitched voice called out from the doorway, and we all turned toward it.

Through the threshold of the bar stepped a beautiful, and very naked redhead. Her hair ran down her back and covered her tight ass like a skirt. Her face was heart shaped, and her purple eyes almost looked a bit too large for her small nose. Her body was petite, and her skin the color of albastar. She looked younger than either of the succubi, and her breasts were smaller, but still a perfectly round shape with erect pink nipples.

She was breathtakingly beautiful, just like Liby and Cupi.

The redhead strutted over to the demon pimp as if she was the highest paid model on the runway, stood in front of him, and then crossed her arms over her bare breasts.

Earl’s expression contorted from rage into mild annoyance. “Why are you here, Superbia?”

“You know why I am here, Earl,” she said with a frown. “You shouldn’t even be here on Earth Realm.”

“Superbia, this human is trying to steal away two of Azazel’s most valuable succubi,” he protested. “I’m just doing our master a favor and--”

The woman shook her head and waved her hand in front of Earl’s face to silence him. “Azazel is the one who sent me. Libidine and Cupiditas have not fulfilled their contracts with this mortal yet. Which means…”

“You are joking,” Earl sighed.

“Nope,” the redhead said.

“Wait, what does that mean?” I asked, and the two demons turned to me.

Earl crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “They get to stay on Earth until they have fulfilled all the terms.”

“That’s right!” Liby exclaimed! “I still haven’t done all the naughty stuff that Jacob put down on his list!”

“And I need to make a whole new list with him!” Cupi giggled, and then the two women hugged each other as they smiled at me.

“I am not leaving without my property,” Earl growled as he faced the petite succubus.

“Do you not understand our laws, Earl?” Superbia raised a delicate eyebrow.

“Yes, yes, I understand basic law,” he growled, “but in this case, I--”

“I’m not sure you do, Earl,” Superbia scoffed, which drew an angry grimace from the pimp.

“It’s been nearly twenty-four hours since they have entered into a commitment with this mortal.” Earl protested. “He has already expressed his desire to steal them away from the King of the Fourth Circle! I’m just getting ahead of the curve and eliminating the threat before it becomes even greater.”

“We both know that’s not how the contract works.” Superbia shook her head back and forth, and her long red hair danced tantalizingly over her pert ass. “Azazel appreciates your enthusiasm, but he has summoned you back to Hell. You may try to bargain with this mortal and amend the terms, but you must give our girls a chance to fulfill their end of the deal. What kind of succubi would they be if they left with an unsatisfied client?”

“Fine,” Earl growled as his violet eyes glowed and he turned back towards the four of us. “I’m going to give you all a second chance. Your succubi have to finish off whatever is left of their contract in the next seventy-two hours. If not, then they are going to face the consequences, and so will you, Mr. Ralston.”

“Sounds like your boss is giving you a spanking,” Todd laughed. “Better get back home before Jacob also kicks your ass.”

“This isn’t over.” Earl straightened his now-tattered suit and walked toward the door. As he exited the bar, the powerful stench of sulfur that accompanied him left too. Now it was just back to the smell of old beer, cigarette smoke, and less-than-stellar bar food.

Superbia turned to the succubi and scowled. “What the hell was that, girls? I cannot protect you from Earl and Azazel forever.”

“Who’s the anime chick?” Todd tilted his head curiously, “and why did she save gaylord from us kicking his ass.”

“This is Superbia.” Libidine broke the silence. “She is our madame.”

“And I kind of think Earl was about to kick our ass,” I sighed. “I didn’t realize how powerful he is.”

“He is,” the redhead said as she turned her purple eyes to me, “but I am somewhat surprised that you are still alive. He should have been able to destroy you in an instant.”

“Like I said, my boy here is super awesome and powerful!” Todd laughed.

“There is something about him, I agree.” She glanced down my body slowly, and then the corner of her mouth twisted up in a half smile.

“Sister Superbia,” Cupiditas addressed the naked redhead. “We want to stay here with Jacob. He is a better master to us than Earl or Azazel or Lilith has ever been.”

“This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Cupiditas…” Superbia warned. “This mortal is very handsome, but he is still a mortal. If you decide to stay with him, there is nothing I can do to protect you.”

“With all due respect, sister, we won’t need your help once Jacob has mastered his powers.” The blonde succubus shrugged.

“For your sake and his,” the redhead pointed towards me, “I hope you are correct. The contract has now been amended to give you another seventy-two hours. Be sure to use your time wisely.”

The naked succubus stepped a few feet away from our group, threw down her arms, and spread apart her legs, exposing her entire fragile body to us. As she did so, a large wave of green flames encased her body. Superbia locked eyes with me, and she shot me a sly smile before she vanished into the hazy air of the battlefield that had once been a bar.

The four of us looked at each other and started to laugh as we collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion.

“Thank God for contract loopholes, eh?” I chuckled.

“Talk about divine intervention!” Todd wheezed in amusement.

Liby twirled her black hair for a moment and stared down at the ground. “So… does this mean we have to fulfill our contracts?”

“Fuck no!” I exclaimed. “We’re not ever going to finish out your contracts. This fucker just gave us a few more days to figure out how we’re going to get out of this mess.”

“We’ll need to help you get more attuned to your powers, as well as figure out how we can work best as a team,” Cupi interrupted as the four of us groggily stumbled out of the door of the bar.

“You’re right,” I nodded as I looked down at my now-busted watch and smiled. “We have lots of time to prepare for Earl. We need to train if we want to stand any sort of chance against him when he comes back. And then maybe, just maybe, we’ll have a bit of time left to play. We have to keep growing our connection somehow.”

“You know I’m always good to play,” Liby smirked.

I looked Cupiditas dead in her purple eyes and placed both hands on her shoulders. “I want to know exactly what I am capable of. Show me everything.”

Chapter 8

Straight from the bar, the four of us boarded the subway and took it to the most run-down part of the city that we could think of. This place might have been a sprawling metropolis, but it still had its hardships. I lived in one of the more run-down parts of town, but our current location made my home look like a luxury resort. This part of the city used to be the home of dozens of factories that employed thousands of people, but once those companies began to outsource for cheaper labor, the people here were left jobless and hopeless. The sight made me appreciate what little I had even more.

A few blocks down from the subway station stood an old house that looked like it had been abandoned for decades. Pieces of its original brick exterior had fallen off and were now laying in the overgrown grass of the lawn. Several of the windows were boarded shut, and the ones that weren’t probably should have been, considering they were now broken beyond repair. As we walked through the threshold and into the interior of the house, my nose caught the whiff of mildew in the air. Probably from years and years of rainwater that had leaked in through the patchwork of a ceiling.

“I’m so giving this place a terrible Yelp review,” Todd snickered sarcastically as he stepped in a puddle of murky water on the carpet. “Zero out of five stars. Would not come again.”

“If it’s any consolation, most of this place is going to be destroyed by the end of the day.” I shrugged. “That is if my powers really are as strong as these two claim they are.”

“You’ve already got a decent handle on the ones we’ve taught you. We just need to make them stronger and get you familiar with your full potential,” Cupi reassured me. “This is as good of a place to start as any. As you already know, you have the ability to control Hellfire, at least in its flame form, but remember back in the ice cream shop? How your treat melted much faster than the rest of ours?”

“Yours didn’t really have a chance to melt.” I smiled as I thought back to the scene. “You guys went to town on them too quickly.”

“I’m quite aware of what my tongue was doing. I always am.” The blonde giggled and shot me a wink. “Anyway, much like the flame attack, you can harness the simple heat from the Hellfire and project it into the air.”

“You mean like a human heating unit?” I questioned. “I don’t see how that’s going to help us whatsoever.”

“Just trust me on this. Reach deep down into your emotions. Think about something heartwarming, but not something that will get you riled up and angry,” she explained.

“I usually think of cute animals for this exercise.” Liby chuckled.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of something that would make my heart melt. At first, I took Libidine’s advice and focused on things that would generally be considered “cute.” I thought about the baby hippo I saw at the zoo a few months ago, and about the puppy I had back at my parent’s house. But nothing happened.

“Focus,” I heard Cupi say as she tried to help me relax.

I shook my head to try to clear out all the thoughts I was having. I started to think about the four of us sitting around the table at the bar, laughing as we clinked bottles and joked. Then I thought back to when Liby’s warm skin was wrapped around me as we slept. I thought about how I had comforted Cupi when she was in distress. I felt a dull heat throb through my hands, and my body temperature started to rise. When I finally opened my eyes, I saw all three of my friends staring back at me. Liby pointed excitedly to the ground where the puddle used to be while Cupi just smiled and nodded. The puddles in the room had completely evaporated.

“Pretty impressive,” I admitted, “but I still don’t see how that’s supposed to help us against Earl.”

“Baby steps, Jacob,” she retorted. “If you can get a better handle on your more subtle powers, it’ll be much easier to take your stronger abilities to the next level.”

“I’ve already slept with both of you. Pretty intensely, I might add.” I grinned. “Unless you’re saying we should be doing that more…”

“Well, yes. You’ve slept with both of us, and we’ve slept with each other--” she started.

“With each other?” I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Of course!” Cupi interrupted. “We’ve both been succubi for centuries. Don’t you think that’s something that’s crossed our minds before? It’s a pretty common fantasy the people who summon us have. In fact, I believe that is actually on your list.”

“Yep,” I laughed. “I’m looking forward to that.”

“So are we,” Liby giggled.

“So, when is it going to happen?” My heart beat increased rapidly at the thought of sharing my bed with both of these beautiful women at the same time.

Cupi chuckled and looked around at our musty surroundings. “Not right here. Let’s finish the training, then we’ll talk,” she smirked.

“And… You think a threesome is going to make our bond stronger?” I asked. “Not that I’m going to complain!”

Liby shrugged. “I’m not sure. But if we could find a way to speed up the physical connection… It’s worth a shot, no?”

“Uh, I’m part of the group too!” Todd piped up fearfully. “I don’t have to be in on this, do I? No homo and all that.”

“Let’s just let our connections grow naturally, Todd,” I said as the succubus smiled at him.

“You two already have a connection forged by friendship.” Liby shrugged.

“Oh thank God,” Todd said with a nod.

“We can’t spend the entire seventy-two hours working.” Cupiditas smirked as she pondered our next move. “Once we are done with this portion of the training, we need to go and try to grow our connection. Hopefully at someplace nicer than Todd’s bar or here.”

“That bar was the shit, and you know it,” the imp crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue.

“The shit? Or just shit?” the blonde retorted before she turned back to me.

“Random question before we move on to the harder stuff,” I turned to the succubi and patted my head. “Why don’t you guys have horns? Isn’t that something that’s a common trait among demons?”

“Just like our wings, it all ties back in with your power level,” Cupi explained. “You may or may not know that all of a demon’s magic is taken from Lucifer himself. As somewhat of a token of our appreciation to our Lord of Darkness, horns sprout from our head whenever we call upon him to use our powers. Kind of like a visual homage to the Devil. The stronger a demon is, the more Lucifer-like in appearance they become when using their magic.”

“When we were still under Earl, we would sprout enormous horns whenever we would do battle. But that was because we’d been serving him for eons,” Libidine added. “Now that we have started fresh, with a new master, it’s going to take some time for them to grow back to their normal size.”

“What about me? If I’m tapping into the powers of Hell, why don’t I have horns?” I asked.

“We don’t know,” Cupi shrugged. “We’ve never taken on a mortal as a master before, despite what Earl has tried to tell you.”

“Random question,” I said. “I know I have a lot of those, but is each different type of Hellfire magic a different color?”

“Yes,” Cupi said with a nod.

“So if red fire is offensive, and purple fire is defensive, what does black fire do?” I asked. “I saw Superbia use it earlier, and it seemed like Earl used it to heal.”

Cupi and Liby turned to each other, and they each took deep breaths.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Black fire is fear magic,” Liby answered. “It is very dangerous, and not something to be learned right away.”

“But what does it do?” I asked.

“It depends on the user,” Liby answered with a shrug that shook her full breasts. “We won’t know until you try it.”

“Then let’s get started,” I said as I cracked my knuckles.

“Fear is a fickle thing, Jacob,” Cupi warned. “It is by far the most difficult emotion to control, and it manifests itself differently in every being with these powers. Earl’s fear of death allowed him to heal, but I’ve seen other demons unintentionally use their fearful emotions to create havoc and chaos around them. One of them accidentally summoned an uncontrollable beast from the deepest pit of fire that took an entire army to bring down. Another one created a sinkhole that engulfed an entire island in the Mediterranean!”

I raised an eyebrow, amused. “Are you talking about Atlantis? One of your demon pals was behind the sinking of Atlantis?”

“I told you it wasn’t just a conspiracy, bro!” Todd pointed his finger at me in victory.

Libidine didn’t find it as funny. She grabbed my face and stared deeply into my eyes with her deep purple pools. As she pulled me in close, her eyes felt like they were piercing into my very soul. Liby was supposed to be the fun one, and seeing her in this state was jarring, to say the least.

“Jacob, this is serious business,” she calmly explained. “I was there the last time somebody tested out their fear-based powers, and it was not pretty.”

“What happ--” the word started to leave my mouth before Cupi cut them off.

“I was in a coma for days.” Cupiditas looked up and zoned out into the ceiling. “It was about ten thousand years ago, right after I had fallen. The two of us thought it would be fun to try out all of my new powers, so I tapped into all the negative emotions I had about my future as a fallen angel. How the world was going to look at me. If other succubi were going to accept me as one of their own. The horrible things I was going to have to do for some of my demon lords. It took me to a dark place. Literally. I was trapped in what I assumed was Purgatory for four days before I finally woke up.”

“Jacob’s a tough cookie,” Todd proclaimed. “I know he can handle it. And if not, the Toddster’s always right here to help!”

As always, baked-Todd was my roommate at his most philosophical. I was glad that Cupi and Liby cared enough to tell me these horror stories, but he was right. I’d already faced down a demon pimp and lived to tell the tale. I had convinced two of the most treasured succubi in the universe to stay with me on Earth at the risk of eternal torture. Now I was learning to harness powers that most men would only dream of. I was Jacob Ralston, and I could do anything.

“I want to do it.” I nodded to Cupi.

“Then you know what to do,” the blonde reluctantly agreed.

My eyes slammed shut, and for the first time in my life, I let all of my doubts, insecurities, and fears take hold of me. Normally, I was the kind of guy who pushed away his worries for another time. Life was too short to fret about trivial shit like your rent being due or your job being shit or getting cheated on by your girlfriend. But now, if I really wanted to see what I could do, I needed to let it all bubble to the surface. I let myself get lost in the negativity, and I felt it for the first time in years, true fear.

I hesitated to open my eyes. The sounds of harrowed screams pounded in my eardrums in the distance, and I was now even more wary to see what I had done. My eyes popped open. The scene was surreal, like something out of a Dali painting. I was still in the house with Cupi, Liby, and Todd, but the entire world appeared to be distorted and staticky. The images of my three friends were frozen in place. Todd looked like I was seeing him in a funhouse mirror as the normally three-foot tall imp towered above me. Cupi’s athletic frame was widened to the extreme, and Libidine’s face looked like it was melting. Was this purgatory?

“Jacob…” an unseen voice whispered through the sounds of the screaming.

“Who’s there?” I called out though I figured it was probably in vain.

“Come with us, Jacob…” The voice was distinctly female, but I still couldn’t see anybody.

Then I saw it. Out of the corner of my eye, the figure of a woman dashed past my position. I couldn’t get a good look at her, but she must have been some sort of superhuman to run faster than the eye could perceive. She rushed past me once more, and this time I could faintly make out her shadow as she passed. As she made a third attempt to elude me, I reached out and summoned the wall of purple flame to stop her in her tracks. Instead of colliding with the barrier, the form of the woman passed straight through.

“Jacob, we are yours,” the haunting voice continued. “We only wish to help you.”

“Who the fuck are you?” I demanded the darkness.

“You know who we are, Jacob,” the disembodied voice eerily called out. “We are the forms you see in your dreams. We are the figures that stare at you in your room while you sleep. We are the ones that are everywhere at once.”

“Jacob!” I heard Cupi’s voice yell as I suddenly awoke back in the real world. Both the blonde and the dark-haired succubi had wrapped their arms around me.

“We thought we had lost you!” Liby’s voice trembled with fear. “You were out for almost an hour.”

“An hour?” I rubbed my eyes groggily, “I was only there for, like, ten seconds.”

“Where did you go?” Cupi demanded as she fought back tears.

“I… I don’t know,” I admitted. “Everything was distorted like a funhouse mirror. And everybody was frozen. I could see you guys, but you couldn’t see me. Is that what Purgatory is?”

Cupi, Liby, and Todd all looked at each other as their eyes widened in terror.

“Jacob, you… you were in the Shadow World,” Cupi said as she shook her head in disbelief. “That’s the dwelling of the Shadow People, creatures that even us demons don’t quite understand. I’m glad you got out of there while you could.”

“Shadow People are no bueno,” Todd shook his head back and forth and shuttered.

“Do you mean that my black magic power… uhhhh… takes me to the shadow world?” I asked. “That doesn’t seem like that great of a power.”

“It is strange,” Cupi said as she looked to Liby. “I have never heard of such a thing.”

“Maybe Jacob’s innate ability lies in mass manipulation?” Liby asked her sister.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“Everyone has a power they are innately powerful with,” Liby said. “Mine is mind control, and Cupi’s is elemental manipulation.”

“Okay,” I said as I glanced between them. “What is mass manipulation?”

“It is moving items or people,” Cupi said. “Either through teleporting or telekinesis. If that is your innate ability, then it would kinda sorta make sense for your black magic to take you to another world.”

“But we aren’t going to know until we test out those powers,” Cupi said.

“Then why don’t we start with teleporting?” I asked.

“Sure,” Liby said, “all you need to do is--”

“Wait,” Cupi interrupted. “Jacob, we aren’t done talking about the black magic.”

“Okay?” I said.

“The shadow world is terribly dangerous,” she continued. “Even more dangerous than hell. The beings that live there have no rules, and their powers are not understood. Please, please, please, don’t try to use your black magic again. You might not come back next time.”

“I won’t,” I said. “Believe me. I don’t want to go back there, and I don’t see any reason to.”

“Good,” The blonde woman sighed with relief.

“What emotion do I need for teleporting?” I asked.

“Disgust,” Cupiditas said with a laugh.

“That shouldn’t be hard with this place.” Todd blurted out as he ran off down the hallway and up the rotting staircase.

“Not exactly a ‘happy’ emotion, but anything will do after that nightmare that I just experienced,” I chuckled.

The blonde succubus’ expression returned to one of determination, and she began to walk around me in a circular pattern as she cooed into my eardrums. “Think about something that upsets you to your very core. Think about Earl, and what he’ll do to us if he ever gets his hands on us again. He’ll torture us. He’ll force us to do things to him that you couldn’t even begin to fathom. Then he’ll make us go out and sleep with other men. We don’t want to have sex with other men. We just want to be with you. Forever.”

“But don’t be afraid or angry,” Liby added. “Just be disgusted.”

“Got it.” As much as I was subconsciously trying to fight the imagery of Earl and my succubi, Cupi’s last comment drove me over the edge. My hands pulsated with green flames as I thought about the two women under the sheets with somebody who wasn’t me. Libidine could tell how much I was rattled and as she tried to come over to comfort me, Cupi held up a hand to keep her back and pointed at the molded yellow couch that sat across from us in the living room of the house.

“The Hellfire that goes with disgust has similar origins to the purple flames,” the athletic succubus explained carefully. “This is the stuff that allows physical and metaphysical objects, including souls, to be transported to the Netherrealm. Here on Earth, it’s not quite as strong, but it can still be used to transport objects short distances through other dimensions. I think you are ready, so try it.”

I reached out the hand engulfed in emerald fire and waved it with my palm open. As I tried to picture where I wanted the couch to go, I made a sweeping gesture. The fabric lit up with the glow of the flame briefly before it disappeared into the unknown. For a moment, I wondered if I had screwed up and forgot to open a return portal, and the demons of Hell now had a new piece of furniture for their lounge area. However, from above, we heard a loud crash on the second floor of the house.

Like a kid on Christmas day, I bolted upstairs in a rush to marvel at my work, and the two succubi followed close behind me. I threw open the door to what I assumed was a second-story bedroom, and there it was. Todd was sitting on the old couch, blowing smoke from the joint he had probably rolled while he was away. Liby and Cupi looked at each other and then jumped up and down joyfully in celebration at what I had done.

“Thanks for the couch, man.” the imp slurred. “I think this is nicer than the one we have at home.”

“Holy shit,” I stuttered. “It actually worked! What else can I teleport?”

“Todd?” Libidine half-joked as she motioned to the imp.

The small red demon barely understood her words, or if he did, he just didn’t give a damn. He just looked at us with bloodshot eyes before shrugging and taking another hit. That must have been some really strong stuff. I summoned up my negative emotions once more and aimed at my friend. As he inhaled, the emerald fire conformed around his body and made him vanish. The joint appeared to freeze in the air like it was a prop in an old cartoon before it fell down onto the couch. Seconds later, Todd stumbled into the doorway behind us.

“Woooaaaaahhh, duuuudddeee,” Todd gasped. “That is the best shit I’ve ever had, man. I totally don’t even remember how I got into the bathroom.”

“Should we tell him?” Libidine asked innocently.

“No, no. Let him figure it out on his own,” I chuckled at Todd’s confusion and then turned to Cupi. “You mentioned I could also have telekinesis if I specialize in mass manipulation?”

“Of course,” Libidine smiled. “I have an innate ability with mind control magic, but I’m also pretty good with telekinesis.”

“You are?” I asked. “I haven’t seen you lift or move--”

“How do you think I did that one thing to you last night?”

“That was--”

“I don’t have three hands, do I?” the dark-haired succubus purred.

“Telekinesis is similar to the teleportation spell,” Cupi interrupted. “It’s derived from the same place, but has different properties. Let’s try this. Close your eyes and focus. Think about the things that make you envious and disgusted, but this time, instead of thinking of where you want your target to go, think about how it is now bending to your will. You are its master now, just like you are the master of the two of us.”

I liked the sound of that. Digging deep down, I thought about the terrible things that Earl has done to not just my women, but everyone he had encountered over time. How many people had he killed? What about all the people he tortured? It took all of my willpower not to let my disgust turn into rage.

As the thoughts splashed across my brain, the couch was once again engulfed in an emerald flame. This time it didn’t disappear. Instead, I thought about how I was in full control. The succubi and I were going to destroy anything and anyone who would possibly get in our way. The couch lifted up into the air and dangled there as if it were held by invisible strings. In awe, I moved my green flamed-filled hand back and forth in front of my body, and the couch moved with it. I lowered my arm towards the ground, and the piece of moldy furniture returned to the rotting wood floors with a harmless thud.

“So, this might sound crazy,” the stoned imp tugged at my pant leg. “I swear that couch just floated in the air. What kinda stuff am I smoking?”

“Relax, Todd,” I chuckled. “Your boy Jacob here has just discovered his telekinesis powers, that’s all.”

“Bro…” Todd smiled through the baked-out haze. “You could totally use that to cheat at roulette or craps. We should go somewhere and gamble.”

“I don’t think that will work,” I said. “When I moved the couch, it was on fire. The pit bosses at any casino would see that and kick us--”

“They don’t see it,” Cupi interrupted me.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Mortals don’t see your fire from telekinesis or teleportation. They can see the Hellfire, but that is because it does damage.

“Sooo… What about Las Vegas?” I asked. “We need to have a good time to grow our connection, and I can use my newfound powers to make sure we become filthy rich at the tables. It’s only an eight-hour drive from here. We could get there by the morning, make a bunch of money gambling, get a sweet room, have tons of sex, and then come back and face down your ex-boss. Not to mention, the city is in the middle of the Nevada desert. We wouldn’t have to drive very far to avoid civilian casualties when we face Earl again.”

“I like that idea!” Liby bounced at the words. “Sin City would be quite fitting! It would also be a great place to further grow our connection…”

“If our connection is all about sex and fun, I don’t see how you could ask for a better place than Vegas,” I laughed.

“Then we should leave immediately,” Cupi said.

“Yep!” Liby agreed.

“Excellent!” I laughed as I put my arms around the two women. “Sin City, get ready for some demons and Hellfire magic!”

Chapter 9

“You probably won’t be surprised by this whatsoever,” Cupiditas said as she helped pack a few of my belongings into the suitcase I’d had since I was in fifth grade, “but it’s a common place for us succubi to be summoned. Sin City and all.”

“That actually does surprise me,” I questioned the succubi with a raised eyebrow. “Prostitution is totally legal there. A sex partner isn’t exactly hard to come by.”

Liby bit her lip seductively. “Mortal women don’t fulfill the same desires as we can, but you already know all about that, don’t you?”

“You’ll hear no argument from me,” I chuckled in agreement.

Cupi, Liby, and I had a pretty simple relationship. They were happy as long as I was happy, and I was happy as long as they were happy. The only issue was that their former master, a demon pimp who could summon literal Hellfire, wanted them back, and wanted me dead.

And I wasn’t going to let that happen.

Once the succubi and I had grown our connection and had a bit of time to prepare for his arrival, even Earl wouldn't be able to stop us. But work isn’t satisfying if you don’t have a little time to play first, and Vegas was the perfect place to play. Once we were all packed, the blonde and I met back up with the other two in the living room of the apartment.

“We really need to do something about that pentagram, man.” Todd pointed to the large red circle that was still inscribed on our floor.

I just shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but if things go south against Earl, I’d like to say that I spent my last hours on Earth hanging out with my friends and having fun. Not cleaning floors that probably haven’t been cleaned in years.”

“Fair enough, Jake ‘ol buddy. Who knows? If we ever need to reconfigure it into a protective circle or demon trap, we’ll already be halfway there!” The imp giggled.

“A protective what, now?” I questioned.

“You still have much to learn, my young apprentice,” Todd laughed. “Circles are all over the place in the lore of Heaven and Hell. Obviously, there’s the pentagram that is used to summon demons, but you can also create ones that can shield you from any hellspawn when you’re inside. Or, you can use a circle to act as a sort of demon trap. It all just depends on what you draw inside them.”

“Very good, Todd.” Cupi smirked. “Where did you learn all this information?”

“Long nights of going down the YouTube rabbit hole.” He shrugged. “And about four months’ worth of rent spent on rare paranormal books. I’ve got it all. Ley Line Maps, ancient Vatican enchantments, demonology encyclopedias… If you want to know anything about the occult, I’m your guy.”

“Ohhh,” Liby gasped. “Some of those might be useful. Bring them all, and Cupi and I can look through them on the car trip and identify which ones might give Jacob extra power.”

Todd scurried off towards his room and then reappeared with an armful of dusty old books. Since it was now later in the evening, and we were just going downstairs to the car, we didn’t even try to put Todd into his bag. Instead, we used it to carry the occult books, and the imp climbed up on Liby’s shoulders like a toddler getting a piggyback ride.

Without further hesitation, we started off down the rundown hallway of our complex. This place always reminded me of something you’d see in a cop show when they would go to bust a drug dealer or to scope out some shady con artist. The light gray paint was chipped in a million places, and the carpet surely hadn’t been replaced since the nineties. But it was affordable, and Todd and I called it home.

I hadn’t actually owned a car since my college days. As luck would have it, my nice red luxury sedan blew a gasket a few months after I graduated, and I hadn’t had the time or the money to fix it since. It just sat there on cinder blocks in one of our two carports. Nobody had vandalized the car in the few years it had been sitting here, but I had taken off the wheels and sold them to a chop shop to help pay for groceries a few months ago.

To Todd, however, his car was his pride and joy. Contrary to what many people may have thought, the stoner did not drive around in a hippy van from the seventies. His car was a boxy yellow Volvo sedan from the eighties that he claimed to have bought from a little old lady that only drove it once a week. The state of the vehicle itself led me to believe that the dealer had pulled one over on my buddy. The thing was missing two of its hubcaps, and rust spread across the entire bottom of its body. The front bumper was dented in from a minor collision he’d had with a light pole when he was DWB, or “Driving While Baked,” as Todd liked to call it. Who knew when it last went in for an oil change or standard maintenance? Along the rear bumper was a sticker that proudly promoted “Legalize It!” as well as a sticker of a technicolored pot leaf. We were going to stick out like a sore thumb, but it was the only working vehicle that we currently had access to. We just had to hope and pray that it got us to Vegas in one piece.

Todd threw open the door and jumped up onto the red fabric interior of the driver’s seat. “Alright, dudes and dudettes, let’s get rolling!”

“Uh, Todd?” I awkwardly chuckled as the two girls got into the back of the vehicle. “I think I’m gonna drive for a while.”

“Somebody else driving my Lola? I will have none of it!” Todd crossed his arms and shook his head.

“Can you even reach the pedals?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course,” Todd scoffed.

The imp clung on to the bottom of the steering wheel and tried his hardest to press the gas pedal. Instead, he just hung there like a spider monkey, swinging his legs at the bottom of the car in vain. After a full minute of fruitless attempts, he sighed and pulled himself back up onto the seat. He leaned back into the driver’s chair and tossed on his seatbelt before he reached up for the steering wheel. Todd’s stubby arms were far too short with the restraints, so he unbuckled himself and grabbed ahold of the wheel. The only problem now was that his rear was suspended above the seat. The imp pouted for a moment as the realization set in.

“Alright, I give up,” he said as he scooted over to the passenger seat. “If anybody else gets to drive my baby, I guess I’d want it to be you.”

“Thanks, buddy,” I said in appreciation as I slid down in front of the console.

I rustled in my pockets and pulled out Todd’s keys that I had snagged earlier. They had been resting in one of his older bowls that we had been using as a “catch-all” for our odds and ends. I shoved the triangular, pot-residue-laden key into the fob and twisted.

Todd’s car turned over once before it sputtered and died. The imp and I looked over at each other, and he gave me a nonchalant shrug. I tried again. This time, the alternator turned over with a shrill whine before the engine sprung to life and a cough of exhaust shot out of the tailpipe.

“I bet you’ve never seen a sex wagon like this, eh, girls?” Todd asked the two succubi in the back.

“You are aware of what we do for a living, right?” Cupi snarked back at the imp playfully. “Car sex is one of the most common suggestions we get. But yes, it is quite impressive.”

“Thirty years old, and she still makes the chicks all wet,” Todd giggled and patted the door of Lola.

“Alright, guys,” I announced to my friends. “We’ve got about five-hundred dollars in our pocket, a car full of awesome companions, and nothing but the open road ahead of us. Next stop, Las Vegas!”

For a moment, I considered slamming down the gas pedal and peeling out of the apartment parking lot, but the lurch of the vehicle as we moved forward reminded me of how bad of an idea that was. Our apartment was thankfully located on the far side of town, so we didn’t have to go far before we were on the interstate headed toward Sin City. Once we were on the road, the two succubi stared out the window in awe at the beautiful desert around us while Todd lit up in the seat beside me and kicked back to relax.

“We’ve never seen Earth like this before!” Libidine exclaimed. “We’ve been summoned to this area, but our services are normally limited to a single room.”

“My sister is right,” Cupi agreed. “This is very beautiful.”

“You know,” Todd coughed a puff of smoke, “I wouldn’t have thought demons would be interested in the desert. It’s hot and desolate and full of grainy sand and rock. Doesn’t it remind you too much of your home?”

“This is nothing like Hell. Hell doesn’t have these beautiful stars in the sky or those cute looking spiny plants along the side of the road. Or those adorable animals we keep passing. Hell’s wildlife is a little more… intimidating, to say the least,” she smiled as she pointed at a pronghorn in our headlights.

“So… what does Hell look like?” I asked, somewhat afraid of what she would answer.

“Let’s hope you never find out,” Cupi warned.

“According to the videos I’ve seen, the people who have died and come back to life all describe it as something different, like it’s tailor-made to your darkest fears or whatever,” the imp spoke as he rolled another joint.

“That’s just for the people who are sent there for judgment. Demons see it for what it really is…” Cupi’s words trailed off.

“How about some music?” I mused as I tried to change the subject.

It was already turning to dusk, and the last thing I needed for my psyche was to be learning about what the unhappiest place on Earth looked like. As I clicked on Todd’s old radio, we were greeted with nothing but static. No matter how many times I pushed the search button, nothing but the crackling sound greeted us. Todd reached into the glove box with his small red hands and pulled out a cassette tape with a large grin.

“This is the perfect music for our situation.” He smirked as he shoved the tape into the slot on the dash.

“Still rocking the tapes, Todd?” I chuckled.

“Bro, this thing got me through some of the hardest times of my life. Aka Middle School,” he cackled. “It has lots of sentimental value!”

The radio kicked to life with the slow ringing of a bell, and I knew exactly what he was talking about. Todd was pretty old school when it came to his musical tastes, but right now, I didn’t want it any other way. As the guitar riff began, Todd started bobbing his head slowly, his cigarette still dangling from his lips. Then the drums started. I couldn’t help myself anymore, so I joined the imp in his head bobbing session as we continued down the dark desert road. I cranked the radio up when the song hit its crescendo, and we both started to sing along. Though the girls weren’t familiar with the tune, they played along as they bobbed their heads with the beat.

We kept singing along with each new song that popped up on Todd’s mixtape, but I was suddenly thrust back into reality when the small yellow gas light appeared on the dash. Thankfully we had gotten past the more desolate part of the highway, and the nearest gas station was only about five miles from our current location.

We were almost to the Arizona-Nevada border, and I took a minute to glance out my window and take in the desert in front of me. The beautiful natural landscape was one of the reasons I’d moved out to this area, but I’d been so caught up with work and school and life in general for the last few years that I never had any time to just go out and enjoy it. I continued to savor the view as we pulled up to the desolate gas station.

It was probably a good thing that it was so late in the day because there was not a soul around. The four of us approached the gray and yellow building as I wondered how boring it would be to work at a shitty place like this in the middle of nowhere. Maybe we could provide the clerk with a bit of entertainment.

As I entered through the sliding automatic doors, Cupi and Liby shuffled off with Todd discreetly to grab some goodies. I walked up to the man behind the counter and plopped down a twenty and a ten on the table.

“Can I get thirty on pump number one?” I asked with a cheery smile.

“Sure thing, my friend,” the man behind the counter smiled.

The guy wasn’t much older than me, but he dressed like he was fifty. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his sharp features and glasses made him look like he belonged at the front of a lecture hall, not behind a gas station counter. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced at my friends behind me. All three of them were in the snack aisle. Todd was standing at the succubi’s side, casually pointing at every single item he wanted to consume in his baked-out state.

“Is that your… pet?” he tried to rationalize what exactly was standing beside the succubi, who were now giggling as they tried on sunglasses in the next aisle over.

“Oh, that’s just our dog. He’s got a rare skin condition. Isn’t that right, Rex?” I called back to the imp.

Todd turned his bloodshot eyes toward me, and the cashier paused. His mouth fell agape, and he blinked rapidly as he tried to wrap his mind around what I was saying. The light bulb finally turned on, and he fell down on all fours and started to walk around the succubi’s legs, rubbing his side against them as he circled. He looked up at the man and let out a loud meow.

I tried not to bust out laughing since the man behind the counter was now confused beyond belief.

“Uhhh. Maybe I meant cat?” I said, but he just shrugged and took the bills I placed behind the counter. I’d chalk that up as a win.

Cupi and Liby walked up to the counter with all of their snacks and tossed them onto the grimy surface gleefully. The clerk began to scan the items as I took inventory. Two bags of chips. A couple of candy bars. An energy drink to keep me awake for the rest of the drive. A black lighter with a skull design for Todd. A tin of mixed nuts. It was a pretty good haul that was still within our budget.

“That’ll be thirteen fifty-three.” The clerk’s eyes lit up as he saw the succubi up close. “How are you doing today, darlings?”

Libidine returned the man’s warm smile. “We’re on a trip to Las Vegas, so I’d say the day is about to get a lot better.”

“The Sin City, eh?” he chuckled. “I’ve been there a few times. It’s not like there’s a lot else to do out here in the middle of nowhere. You’ll have to be careful, though. You can get into all sorts of trouble out there.”

“That’s the idea,” Cupi smirked, and the man grinned even wider.

“You’ll have to let me know how that goes,” the man with the ponytail sputtered. “Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

I felt Todd tugging on my pant leg, so I reached down to see what else he could have possibly found. The imp motioned for me to stoop down so that he could talk to me.

“Get me a couple of scratchers. The Toddster’s feeling lucky today!” he begged.

“Alright,” I stood back up to face the man. “Can we get a lotto ticket, too?”

“Absolutely!” the clerk agreed. “You know what? Take one for each of you. You’re going to need money when you hit Vegas.”

“You are too kind--” Libidine squinted to read the man’s name tag.

“Jonathan.” The clerk stuck out his hand to shake hers. “The name’s Jonathan, pleasure to meet you all.”

“The pleasure is all ours, Jonathan,” Liby grinned before Cupi and her picked up the goodies.

“Well? Don’t leave us waiting,” the clerk smirked as he handed Libidine four tickets. “Let’s see what you won.”

The dark-haired succubus distributed a ticket to each of us. I picked up a coin from the “take-a-penny” holder and went to town on the little grey squares spread across the cardboard backing. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw three cherries appear, but then my good fortune ran out when the matching square was filled with a cactus. I looked over at my friends to see if they were doing any better. Todd huffed, tossed his ticket to the ground, and stomped on it. Meanwhile, Libidine and Cupiditas were trying to make sense of what they saw.

I walked over to the two succubi, and my mouth fell agape in shock. Both of the girls had a ticket that was full of dollar signs that matched the symbol in the “win” box. If what I was reading was correct, they had both just won six-hundred dollars each. Without even thinking, I grabbed the tickets out of their hands and presented them to the cashier.

Jonathan glanced at the tickets and then let out an impressed whistle. “I think you might have just cleared us out of money, girls! Let me just go back into the safe and grab your winnings.”

The clerk smiled before he disappeared into the back room.

I turned to the two succubi and threw my arms around them in celebration. “How did you do it? Some sort of demon magic? An illusion spell?”

Cupiditas shrugged. “We are lucky ladies.”

“Was that a joke?” Libidine couldn’t believe her ears. “Did Cupiditas just make a joke?”

“If you must know,” Cupi laughed as a small smile crept up the corner of her mouth, “Succubi are said to bring luck to those who possess them. Why do you think so many demons refuse to let us go?”

“I know I’ll never let you go,” I smirked. “But it’s for more… Personal reasons.”

“Welp, you guys are in luck,” Jonathan exclaimed as he walked around the corner. “We had just enough in the safe to cover your winnings. One-thousand, two-hundred dollars and zero cents.”

The clerk extended the wad of hundreds towards us, and I happily plucked them from his hand. Cupiditas and Libidine scooped up the snacks that they had brought up for purchase, shot the man a wink, and then headed towards the exit with Todd at their side.

“So dude,” the man behind the counter asked as soon as Liby and Cupi walked out the exit door. “Are those your girlfriends? They’re so fucking hot!”

“I can hardly believe it myself, but yes,” I laughed.

“You know what?” Jonathan nodded as he opened up the cash register again and removed the bills I had given him earlier. “I know you just won big, don’t worry about the snacks. Everything’s on the house. There’s just something you gotta respect about a man who’s living the dream.”

“Really?” I couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Seriously,” the man behind the counter sat the money back into my palm.

I reached out and shook Jonathan’s hand profusely. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this!”

“Don’t mention it, bro.” Jonathan winked at me as I turned to leave. “Anything for the coolest guy in the universe.”

With everything settled, I made my way back out to the yellow sedan. As I pushed the nozzle into the gas cap, I realized that this was the first time in months that Lola was going to get a full tank of gas. I didn’t even know if the gas meter on the dashboard would go that high anymore. I returned the rubber hose to its holster on the pump and joined my friends back inside the car.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Onward to Atlantic City,” Todd slurred, still stoned out of his mind. We were all laughing so hard that we didn’t even stop to correct him.

The car roared to life, and we started off down the interstate once more. Not long after we left, I heard the sounds of snoring arise from the back seat. I glanced back in the rearview mirror to see the two succubi cuddled up with each other as they dozed soundly.

Now we were twelve-hundred dollars richer and headed towards a city of endless fun and entertainment. Tonight kept getting better and better.

Chapter 10

“I can’t believe it. I hope we have this sort of luck in Vegas.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“Who’s we? It was my idea to get the tickets,” Todd joked.

“No more stale cornflakes for us, that’s for sure! Maybe we won’t even need to use Liby’s mind control powers as much. If we win big, we’ll actually be able to afford to pay for the top-quality shit.” My entire body shook with excitement.

“That would be a shame,” Libidine pouted playfully, “I actually like using my influence to help you get what you want. I’d do anything for my new master.”

“As would I,” Cupiditas chimed in happily.

“Speaking of masters,” I glanced down at my watch, “we’re about two hours out from Vegas. Once we get there, we’re going to get completely wrapped up in all the gambling and bright lights and cool shit that happens there, but we can’t forget about Earl. It’s t-minus forty-five hours until he makes his appearance again. We should at least go into the conflict with some sort of plan in place.”

“What’s the matter, you don’t want to just wing it? You’ve got all those cool powers now, as well as three sexy demons. I could totally distract him with these guns," Todd flexed as he giggled.

“Yeah, but they still aren’t fully fleshed out. Earl may be a douchebag, but he at least knows his way around his spellcasting. He’s got that much on me.” I rubbed my hair in frustration.

“We can fix that,” Cupi purred into my ear. “This trip is going to grow our connection in ways we couldn’t even dream of.”

The short-haired blonde placed her slender fingers onto my back and began to rub. If I wasn’t concerned about flipping Todd’s car and killing us all, I would have fallen asleep right there as she worked the knots of stress out of my back. My mind began to drift off the dark road ahead and into thoughts of the two succubi. If they could both please me so intensely on their own, I could only imagine what they could do with their efforts combined. Thinking about my two beautiful women was comforting, and my eyelids began to drift shut as we continued down the road.

I jerked my head upwards, startled that I had fallen asleep at the wheel. I looked over at Todd, who was now snoring loudly. The two succubi were snuggled up together in the backseat. Had I been out for just a second? A minute? A full hour?

That was it, I knew we were less than two hours away, but I was going to pull over before I got us all killed if I kept driving. I found a small patch of sand that didn’t seem to have any rocks or plants, so I twisted the wheel and Lola rolled to a gentle stop in the desert clearing. It wasn’t the greatest of campsites, but it was going to have to do for the night. I rubbed my eyes, leaned back in my seat, and instantly passed out.

The next thing I knew, I was awakened by Todd standing on my lap and shaking my head back and forth. “What happened to my baby? I knew she could only handle an imp’s touch.”

I looked over at the clock display on the radio, which read four in the morning. Behind me, I heard Libidine and Cupiditas stirr.

“What’s wrong, Jacob?” Liby asked as she rubbed at the bags under her eyes.

“He killed Lola!” Todd crossed his arms.

“Relax, Todd.” I reached forward and turned the key so he could see that his Volvo was still running good as new. “I was just getting tired, so I pulled off here to get some rest. Though it’s not very easy sitting upright in a car.”

“Are we going to keep going then?” Cupiditas perked up.

“Nah,” I answered. “I’m still too beat to drive. Let’s just camp out here tonight. That’d still give us a little under a day to have our fun before your boss comes back.”

Libidine perked up at my words. “Jacob, you have no idea how much I would love to sleep out under these stars! Especially with you.”

“I’ve got just the ticket,” Todd grinned as he opened the passenger door and stumbled out into the night.

The three of us looked at each other, shrugged, and then got out to follow the imp.

Todd had already popped the trunk of Lola and was rummaging through its contents. The trunk looked like a war zone, full of odds and ends, stray papers, pot paraphernalia, and everything in between. Before long, the imp produced a couple phone books and brandished them into the sky triumphantly.

“Check it out, these can be our firewood,” he exclaimed.

“Why do you still carry around phone books?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“How else am I going to break the world record for most phone books ripped in half? Duh,” he asked as if it was a stupid question.

“Sure thing, Todd,” I laughed.

“Oh!” Libidine giggled as she grabbed a handful of old blankets. “These would make for excellent bedding.”

“I was gonna just try to find one of those deer creatures, kill it, and sleep in it for warmth,” Cupiditas shrugged.

“Uh… How about we just stick with the blankets and leave the survivalist stuff for when we really need it?” I joked to the blonde.

Todd laid out a few of the phone books onto the ground and then stretched out on top of them. “You know these things are actually really comfortable. I should start my own economy hotel chain! I can see it now- Todd Masterson’s Phone-a-Friend: Inn and Loveshack.”

“I wouldn’t quit your day job,” I laughed as I rummaged through Lola’s trunk and pulled out a few more old papers for the fire.

Todd, the succubi, and I went around collecting as many rocks as we could to make a pit. Any of us could have summoned up a bit of Hellfire for warmth and protection, but I wasn’t sure there was enough passion in the world to keep it burning for as long as we were going to be here. We took turns placing the rocks into a circular pattern on the ground one by one. Next, we created a large teepee of phone books in the middle of the pit to act as firewood, and then topped it off with some pieces of dry tumbleweed we found for kindling.

“Do your thing, Mr. Pyromaniac.” Todd nodded at the fire.

It didn’t take much to conjure up the fire powers this time. I didn’t even have to close my eyes or search deep down into my feelings. Instead, I simply looked over at the two beautiful women who called me master. That was all I needed to start my fire. The red flames exploded out of my hands and struck the tinder, setting it ablaze instantly.

Once the fire got going, Libidine and Cupiditas huddled close together with what I liked to call Todd’s Reggae blanket. The piece of fabric shone brightly with the colors of the Jamaican flag, and I was shocked that the succubi weren’t getting a contact high just from being underneath of it.

Todd himself had formed a makeshift chair with his phone books, and he kicked back with his hands behind his head as he soaked in the warmth of the flame. Then the imp let out an impossibly loud yawn.

A second or two later he was out like a light.

“I guess those phone books really were comfortable after all?” I shrugged at the succubi.

Then I noticed that Libidine was annoyedly scratching at her shoulders, in the area where her dress straps rested on her body.

“You know,” I smirked at the dark-haired succubus, “We’re out here all alone, and you’re going to want those clothes to be as clean as they possibly can be for when we hit the town tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank Heavens!” she said as she reached her left hand around for the zipper on the back. “I don’t know how these mortal women can stand wearing these things all the time.”

Liby struggled to get a hold of her zipper, so she motioned for Cupiditas to come over and help. Cupi tugged down on the fastener, and the pale skin of the dark-haired succubus appeared like a beacon in the night. The blonde slowly slipped the straps of the black dress down Liby’s shoulders, and the entire top half of the garment fell downwards, exposing the succubus’ massive breasts. She let out a sigh of relief, which caused her chest to expand, and her assets to jiggle. Cupi gave the dress a slight pull at the hips, and the rest of Libidine’s body was now free for my viewing pleasure. Then the blonde succubus carefully folded the garment up and set it in the trunk.

“Do you need any help with yours?” Liby asked her sister.

“Yes, please.” The words slipped out of my mouth before I even realized I said it.

“I think I can handle myself.” The blonde succubus giggled as her purple eyes shot me a seductive look. “But if Jacob wants you to help, I’m not going to stop you.”

Cupi turned away from me, bent over, and slowly started to pull down her leggings. The fabric slowly slid down her ass as it exposed every curve of her body. When the waistband went past her labia, she looked back to make sure I was still gawking. The blonde succubus knew exactly what she was doing. My heart pounded in my chest when the blonde stood back up, strutted over to her, and put her hands around her waist. In one motion, the dark-haired succubus pulled off Cupi’s tunic-like shirt, revealing her flat abs and small, perky chest. Cupiditas playfully removed the leggings off her ankles and added them to the pile in the yellow sedan.

Even though I had already seen both of them au naturale before, it was something I always welcomed. The two succubi returned to the firepit and continued to place rocks as they giggled. I pulled out the tire iron from the back of the yellow sedan and used it as a makeshift shovel to dig a small basin into the circle.

“Much better,” she smirked as she walked past me seductively. “This should help fuel your passionate Hellfire powers, shouldn’t it?”

“It’s gonna fuel a lot more than that,” I snickered.

“Is that so?” Liby smacked me playfully on the arm.

“Yep,” I said as I took her hand and pulled her close.

Her purple eyes stared back at mine passionately, and she pressed her lips against mine as our tongues explored each other's mouths. We made out for a solid minute before I felt Cupiditas’ warm hands around my waist. As I pulled back from Liby’s soft lips, Cupi’s angelic voice whispered in my ear.

“I think we’re ready to further our connection,” she purred.

Cupi didn’t have to tell me twice. I turned around and began to run my hand up and down her leg as she let out a moan of pleasure. The two succubi didn’t want to wait any longer than they already had. Each of them grabbed me by the arm and led me back toward the yellow sedan.

We spent the next two hours as a tangle of bodies, exploring each other with our hands, mouths, and other appendages. Cupi and Libidine both took turns riding my cock while pleasuring each other with their hands and kissing at the same time. The image of Cupi’s short blonde hair being caressed by Liby’s hand as their tongues intertwined was not something that I was ever going to forget. When all was said and done, I think there had been six or seven climaxes between the three of us.

When I finally awoke, both of the succubi were nestled against my chest, sleeping soundly. As much as I never wanted to leave this spot, I realized that we still had a few hours’ driving ahead of us and that the day was still young. I slid out from under the blanket and pulled on my pants as I exited the vehicle.

Todd was still snoring in front of the fire, which now was little more than a few smoldering embers. I sauntered over to the sprawled-out imp and nudged him with my foot. Todd woke up mid-snore and shot up like he was launched out of a cannon onto my leg like a spider-monkey.

“Bro!” he huffed. “You know you can’t do that shit when I’m passed out. I totally was about to kick your ass!”

“Uh-huh,” I grinned at my friend, who looked like he was petrified. “I think I’m good to go. We should head out if we want to make it to Vegas at a decent time.”

“What about the flames?” Todd asked. “It’s not good citizenship to just leave it going.”

“Well, then let’s put it out.” I shrugged. “Do you have a water bottle in your car or-- Seriously?”

The imp giggled as he urinated onto the embers, turning them into smoking charcoal. All I could do was roll my eyes and turn back towards the car. Hopefully he’d be done in a second or two. Imp bladders couldn’t be that full.

I carefully opened the door of Lola and slid down in front of the dash. The two naked succubi were still huddled up together where we had been making love, and I cringed as I twisted the key and hoped the sound wouldn’t wake them. Once Lola’s start-up noises had died down to a dull purr, and my two lovers still hadn’t awoken, I let out a sigh of relief.

Todd, on the other hand, was not so quiet. From across the way, the imp took off at full-speed towards the vehicle. Once he was about four feet from the Volvo, he leapt up into the air. The imp slid through the open window of Lola and plopped down into the seat beside us.

“I’ve always wanted to do that, but my mushy mortal man-body wouldn’t let me before,” he snickered.

“Next stop, the Sin City,” I laughed, and then I put the Volvo into drive and got back on the highway.

It was nearly an hour of driving before the two succubi in the backseat began to stir. Libidine woke up first, followed not long after by Cupiditas. The blonde arched her back with a yawn while Liby simply cracked her neck and placed her hands on my shoulders.

“Why didn’t you tell us we were leaving?” Libidine cooed from behind me.

“You guys were sleeping so peacefully,” I smiled. “I didn’t want to wake you up. Besides, we were just driving through the dark desert anyways. It’s not like there was a ton to see.”

“That was all time we could have spent talking about strategy to bring down Earl.” The blonde succubus shook her head.

“Don’t you ever think about anything other than work, sister?” the dark-haired woman said as she gave her friend a playful slap on the arm.

“I am all for fun and play and excitement,” Cupi responded, “but there is still much work to be done if we want to defeat our former master. It’s not going to be easy.”

“Speaking of which, my little paranormal encyclopedia,” I looked over at Todd as he thumbed through one of his paranormal books. “Can you talk to us more about those circles? The ones that can trap and protect from demons?”

“Right. The protective circles.” Todd reached into his glove compartment and fumbled around until he found a notepad and a pen, and then he began to draw. “The main one is the Solomonic circle. It’s the one that people who dabbled in this kind of thing in the medieval period used to protect themselves when they summoned a demon.”

“Isn’t that somewhat counter-productive?” I questioned.

“Not at all. Just because you want to see if you can summon a demon doesn’t mean that you want it to rip your throat out!” He chuckled as he drew.

The symbol was a large circle with a snake-like figure wrapping its way around the perimeter. Inside, there were four Stars of David, one for each geographical direction. Finally, the imp drew a triangle directly above the circle, complete with its own inner sphere. The imp held the notepad out in front of his body and marveled at his work.

“See? You stand in here and it protects you from the demon who is summoned and is trapped right there.” He pointed to the triangle.

“So the only way to trap the demon is to summon him there yourself?” I was trying to think ahead to possible solutions.

“No, no, no.” Todd shook his head. “This is just one of many possible protective circles you can make. Every culture has had their own version on the idea with results that varied. If we want to keep ourselves safe from Earl, we might have to make a copy of every one we can find!”

“What about the trap circle? How do we do that?” I said as I stared off into the rising sun.

Cupi stuck up her hand and offered to take this one. “I can answer that. There’s always some asshole who thinks he can capture a succubus with one of those things and keep us there forever. Thankfully, our contracts are binding… unless we choose to remain on Earth.”

The blonde motioned for Todd to hand her the pen and notepad and got to work. This seal appeared much different from Todd’s original drawing. It was a simple circle that contained an interwoven star whose points touched each side of its inner wall. Smack dab in the center was another star encased in a circle. All around the edges was a language that I couldn’t decipher.

“This is called the Key of Solomon.” Cupi’s eyes narrowed as she explained the history of the circle. “Like the protective circle, it was allegedly created by King Solomon centuries ago and was used to dispel demons. If one of us steps into the circle, the spell freezes us in time and space. Unfortunately for the mortals who created it, the spell isn’t strong enough for higher-level demons.”

“When you say higher level demons…” I trailed off.

She shot me a smile. “It will work on Earl. He’s very low down the totem pole. Now if you wanted to try it out on Lilith, you’d be fucked.”

“Let’s really hope it doesn’t come to that!” I only half-joked.

“Once a demon is trapped in the circle, you can try to kill it or send it back to Hell where it came from with an exorcism.” She shrugged. “Though I wouldn’t recommend trying an exorcism on Earl. He’d just keep finding a way to come back.”

“So that brings up the interesting question. How the Hell do you kill a demon?” I tried to hide the confusion in my voice.

Libidine spoke up. “It’s quite easy, actually. You just have to use demonic or angelic powers, and be stronger than your opponent, of course.”

“Of course,” I sarcastically snarked. “That simple, huh?”

“Demons can totally die, man, but the bigger question is where they go after they die,” the imp pondered. “Like, if Heaven and Hell are real, and that’s where mortals go, then is there like, a second layer of Hell where slain angels and demons go?”

“Nobody really knows.” Cupi shrugged. “There are multiple layers of Hell, but I and my sisters have never really had a chance to explore them. We’re more into our Earthly duties. All I know is that, wherever they go, I’ve sent plenty from both sides there.”

“This is rich!” Todd laughed maniacally. “The literal demons from Hell don’t know where we go when we die. This is the kind of shit those websites I’m always on would eat up!”

“Which ones?” I joked. “The ones about conspiracy theories, or the ones that you were on when I walked into your room without knocking that one time?”

“Don’t pretend you weren’t impressed!” Todd giggled.

He wrapped his hands around himself and kicked his feet back and forth in joy. As he rolled around in the seat, satisfied with his comeback, Cupiditas and Libidine didn’t understand what we were talking about. Todd stopped laughing, and the two of us looked at each other.

“Jacob walked in when I was watching some special videos and playing a little game of choke the chicken,” the imp tried to explain.

“Like your videos about Heaven and Hell?” Liby questioned innocently.

“No, like… a video of people banging,” I reluctantly got to the point.

“People watch videos of other people having sex here on Earth?” Cupi asked as she tried to understand the concept. “Why don’t they just go find a partner and do it themselves?”

“If only it were that easy!” Todd laughed as he shook his head in disbelief. “Unfortunately, we aren’t all as lucky as Jacob here, with his two women that are at his beck and call whenever he wants. That’ll all change when I get to Las Vegas, though!”

“Speaking of which…” I pointed out at the landscape in front of us.

As we reached the peak of a hill just outside of town, we were met with the bright lights of Sin City as they fought with the sun for the right to illuminate the landscape. Neither I nor Todd had ever been to Vegas before. It was a luxury that we’d never really been able to afford, but I soon found it was quite the scene to behold. The buildings stretched up into the dawn sky and shone brightly like an oasis of fun, luxury, and pleasure in the middle of the Nevada desert. Even the gas stations we passed felt like they were five-star organizations.

If we were going to die, then this was definitely the place I wanted to spend my last few hours on Earth.

Chapter 11

Among the shimmering lights, sexy women, and hot cars, Lola sputtered down the strip in all her glory as she trailed a cloud of smoke behind her. Even with our windows up, the sound of cheers mixed with sirens and music pounded through the car.

“We never get to play the machines when we are here,” Cupi said as her eyes followed the large casinos as we passed by.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about that,” I asked curiously. “What happens when you fulfill a contract? Do you just vanish in a puff of smoke? Or do you fly off into the night and catch a chariot back to Hell?”

“You already know the answer,” Liby said as she grabbed my left hand. “The green and purple Hellfire sends us back and forth between the Realms. Once we have satisfied our clients’ needs, our master is notified, and he transports us back to him with his powers.”

“What do you guys do in between clients? Like, in your spare time?” I continued.

“When you’re a succubus for one of the most well-known pimps, who answers to one of Hell’s most fearsome overlords, who himself answers to the Demon Queen, there is no such thing as ‘down time.’ We’re lucky if there is even a five-minute break between requests,” the blonde answered. “The only down time is when we are being punished, and that’s no fun whatsoever.”

“Fuck those guys,” I muttered under my breath as I thought about what they’d done to my beautiful succubi.

“Which casino should we stay at?” Todd interrupted as he tried to change the mood in the vehicle.

“Well,” I started, “We’ve got a bit of cash, but I don’t want to splurge too much until we win some more. So we need something kind of in the middle. I guess it doesn’t need to be on the strip, but it should have--”

“Bro,” Todd interrupted me as he shook his head. “Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro.”

“What?” I asked.

“There is only one casino worth going to in Vegas,” he said with a sagely nodd.

“Uhhh, okay,” I sighed as I prepared myself for another Todd-ism. “Which one is that?”

“Mother. Fucking. Excalibur,” Todd said as he passed his hand through the air like a magician.

“Uhhh, isn’t that kind of an old cas--”

“Shut your mouth,” Todd interrupted me. “They update it all the time.”

“Okay,” I replied. “We can go to Ex--”

“It’s got everything! Knights, maidens, swords, poleaxes, feasting, dragons, quests and shit, and then even more fucking awesome shit. It’s King Arthur’s castle, bro, and we can join up with him while he quests to find the Holy Grail and bang all the women.”

“I’m pretty sure you are wrong about everything you just said,” I laughed, “but I don’t have a better idea, so Excalibur it is!”

“Fuck yeah!” Todd smacked his hands together and then pointed out the front windshield. “Forward hooooo! To Excalibur!”

We passed through the bright lights of the city and then pulled off the strip towards the castle-like structure in the distance. As Lola pulled in closer, I could see why Todd was so excited about this place. Along the sides of the building were two regular white-washed brick structures dotted with hundreds of windows, each one a different hotel room. However, long, elegant castle towers stretched up each corner of the building to give it a medieval esthetic. Atop each tower was a cone, either red or blue, that came to a point above the rest of the resort.

Then there was the main part of the structure. This was where the aesthetic really kicked in. All around the main entrance, and between the two hotel sections of the resort, was a tacky-yet significant castle. Red, gold, and blue battlements adorned the roof, which was flat and pinkish. The resort looked like a child’s playset come to life. It felt like we had been living in a fantasy for the last few days, so it only seemed fitting.

Lola puttered up to the front entrance, a structure that had been made to look like a more authentic version of a castle with whitewashed archways and a cobblestone column. A man in a black blazer sauntered over to greet us. He gave us an odd glance as we emerged from our yellow chariot of rust and smog, but retained the smile that he was forced to wear at all times. I stuck out the key for the valet, and the man’s demeanor changed when I pulled out two twenties from our lottery winnings and slipped it into his vest pocket. He shot me a large grin, swiped the keys and made his way to the driver’s seat.

“Be careful with Lola now,” I cautioned. “She may not be the nicest-looking car, but we’ve been through a lot together.”

“We consummated our relationship in the back seat, all three of us!” Liby said with a happy bounce.

A rush of color ran to the man’s face as he threw the key into the ignition and twisted. Lola roared to life with a puff of smoke and her familiar rattling noise, and the valet got out of the awkward situation as quickly as he could. Todd, who now sat in his familiar duffel bag, looked on longingly as his sedan drove off into the parking garage.

“He better not hurt her,” he said with a balled fist.

“Relax, buddy,” I reassured Todd with a pat on the head. “She survived our road trip. There’s nothing the guy could do that could be any harsher than that!”

With that, we all walked through the main entrance of Excalibur, and Todd couldn’t contain his glee from inside the duffel bag.

“Bro, this is the shit.” He giggled as he unzipped the bag just enough so that he could see out. “Check out that dragon statue over there. You’ve got to get a picture of me pretending to slay it.”

“Totally.” I rolled my eyes as we passed under the sprawling design of the main lobby.

Similar to the outside of the main entrance, the lobby of the Excalibur was made to look like a blend between “modern” and authentic rockwork castle. That is, it’d be modern if we were still in the nineties. Still, it was a sight to behold. There were several archaic-looking fountains around the main lobby, as well as a couple of pillars and statues based on Arthurian legends. The carpets were a retro red color, with asymmetrical circular patterns in the same art style as the Middle Ages. Maybe it was a little tacky by modern standards, but it was a sight to behold, nonetheless.

And it was really damn cool.

As we made our way towards the check-in of the resort, the succubi stopped for a moment to gawk at one of the clothing stores inside the building. This place had it all, from massive buffets to souvenir shops to fashionable handbag stores. But the girls were particularly taken with this particular high-end clothing store, and they looked with longing at the mannequins who wore form-fitting dresses and elegant jewelry that had to cost an arm and a leg.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be back.” I promised as I motioned for them to continue following.

Soon, the four of us found ourselves at the main desk. It was more in line with what you’d find at a typical casino resort, with a large wooden trim and a sleek, dark color.

“How can I help you?” a thin, tall brunette woman in a black suit asked bubbly.

Cupiditas took the lead. “We’re here to for a few nights’ stay. One of your higher-end options.” She grinned at the woman.

“Ah,” the woman inquired as she walked behind the desk and started fiddling with her computer. “Do you have reservations?”

Libidine walked up to the desk and overdramatically placed her chest on the oaken countertop so that her large breasts would appear even more enlarged. Meanwhile, Cupiditas placed her elbow on the counter and rested her chin on her hand as she gave a longing look. They were really working this angle. I could barely watch. It was either going to be a trainwreck or the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, but I couldn’t look away.

“I don’t think we need reservations, do we?” Cupi batted her eyes at the brunette. “We want the highest end option you have.”

“Well, that’d be the Royal Two-Bed Luxury Suite.” The brunette behind the counter offered. “We have one currently available, but we’re at our peak season, so it’s two-hundred and fifty a night. Would that satisfy your needs?”

“Oh, it’d do more than satisfy them,” Cupi chuckled.

“Excellent,” the woman commented without looking up from the computer. “How many are going to be staying in the suite, and for how long?”

“All three of us,” I wagged my finger back and forth between the succubi and myself. “Is it possible to pay by the night? We’re not exactly sure how long we’re going to be in Vegas.”

“All three of you?” the woman asked, one eyebrow arched up in amusement.

“Yep!” Liby smiled. “Jacob here is our boyfriend!”

“Both of you?” the brunette glanced at me.

“Of course. Jacob is so passionate that he needs at least two women to satisfy him,” Cupiditas locked her violet eyes with the woman behind the counter. “Maybe even three.”

The brunette’s face turned a deep shade of red as she glanced down at the keyboard. Then she covered her mouth with her slender hands and let out a bashful giggle. Cupi continued to give the woman seductive looks while she finished entering our information into the computer.

“Now I’ll just need a credit card to book your reservation,” the brunette asked.

“Here you go,” I laid my card on the table. It was nearly maxed out at the moment, but I planned on paying for everything with the cash we were going to win, anyway.

Once the woman was done, she bent down and pulled out a yellow keycard bearing the resort’s name, and then slid the key and my credit card across the table toward the blonde succubus. Cupiditas picked up the key in her right hand and looked it over curiously before slapping it back down on the counter.

“You’re forgetting something, dear,” Cupi mused.

“Oh?” the brunette questioned.

“Yes,” Cupi smirked. “Your phone number.”

I thought the face of the woman behind the counter couldn’t get any redder, but I was wrong. Her skin now looked like a tomato as she pondered what to do next. After a moment of awkward silence, she slowly stretched her hand across her desk, grabbed a piece of paper, and scribbled down her digits. Then the woman bit her lower lip as she slid the paper back toward the succubus.

Cupi gave her a wink, and I thought the girl was going to faint.

“Thank you, dear,” the athletic blonde giggled as she turned to walk away. “See you soon.”

The four of us set off down the hallway toward the elevator that would take us to our palace. The elevator dinged, and the inviting silver doors opened to let us in.

“So, what did I just see?” I asked as soon as the doors were closed.

“What?” Liby shrugged. “You think men are the only ones our powers work on?”

“I don’t know what happened out there, man, but it sounded incredible!” Todd’s voice sprang from the green bag.

“It was, Todd, it was.” I chuckled as we rode the lift toward the fiftieth floor. “You could take some pointers from Cupi over here. She’s an excellent wingman.”

“Bro, you’re the Goose to my Maverick. It doesn’t get any better than that.” Todd stuck out his balled fist for a fist bump as we ascended.

“You are aware that Goose dies, right?” I laughed as I completed the gesture.

“That’s just a risk I’m willing to take,” the imp snickered from the bag.

When the doors of the elevator opened, we were greeted with the sight ripped straight out of the seventies. The walls were covered with yellow-peach wallpaper bearing a Victorian pattern. Before us stretched a green carpet adorned with a florally, square pattern. As we walked down the hallway towards our room, I noticed that each of the light wooden doors bore a purple shield that read the number of the hotel room. Finally, we arrived at room 501, our personal castle.

Libidine slid our keycard into the mechanism, and it turned green with a mechanical click. Then the succubus turned the golden knob and pushed the heavy door inward.

Our hotel room looked much more modern than the area that we had just exited. The floor was covered with dull green carpeting with oval patterns scattered throughout, and the walls were painted a calming peach color. Directly in front of us was a small kitchen area, followed by a dining area with a clear, glass-top table. Immediately after the dining section was a small lounge space with a fifty-inch television mounted to the wall across from a cushiony peach-colored couch. To each side there was a bedroom, one for Todd, and one for me and my women.

“Excellent job, girls!” I exclaimed as I let Todd out of the bag to roam.

I walked into the bedroom, propelled myself onto the soft king-size mattress, and took it all in. As much as I enjoyed the comfort of this suite, the day was still young. We were in Sin City, the most fun place on Earth. But right now, all I wanted to do was relax for a moment. If what I had just seen downstairs was any indication, there were no limits to the amount of fun we were about to have.

Chapter 12

As much as I loved slumming it out in nature, one area the city had it beat in was sanitation. Last night, we’d had to sleep in a car, and as the soothing water from the shower spigot poured down on my head and ran off my brown locks onto the ceramic on the floor, I was really glad we chose something more luxurious for our stay in the Sin City. Even this simple shower screamed luxury. It was one of those stand-up set-ups whose walls were made of dark grey brick, with a shiny ceramic tile floor and a heavy glass door. In addition to the typical shower head that rested at the front of the construction, it had valves running down the sides of the wall that shot out jets of water. The sensation was so soothing that I thought I might just fall asleep right then and there. As I finished up and walked over to brush my teeth, I heard the voices of Libidine and Cupiditas from around the corner.

“These are so soft!” Liby giggled.

“That’s not fair, yours seem to be much more firm,” Cupi’s disappointed voice retorted. “I wish I could trade you.”

Liby laughed. “Well, you could take them for a test run. See if you like them?”

“That sounds marvelous!” the blonde exclaimed. “I can’t wait to bury my face in those puppies!”

I nearly swallowed my toothbrush as I gulped at Cupi’s words. I intensified my brushing so that I could hurry up and see what the girls were getting into. The foamy mint toothpaste swirled down the drain, and I tossed my brush back into its travel case as I walked toward the commotion, still in my towel.

“Ow! Don’t be so rough!” Liby called out as I rounded the corner of the half-bath in anticipation.

Sadly, what I saw on the other side was not what I had hoped to see… but it was almost just as good. Libidine and Cupiditas were sitting up on their knees in the king-size bed, completely naked. In each of their hands was a pillow. I assumed from their previous conversation that Liby had the firm one and Cupi had the more supple ones. It didn’t matter, because both of them seemed to be lethal to the other as they took turns hitting each other, giggling and bouncing as they did so. Cupi smacked Liby across the face with her fluffy weapon quite forcefully, which made the dark-haired succubus stumble backward in bed. Then she regrouped and struck the blonde in the side. Cupi jokingly clutched her side before she shot Libidine a sly smile and brought down her own pillow on top of her sister’s head.

The force from the swing made Liby’s breasts jiggle up and down as a playful ‘hurt’ expression spread across her face, but Cupi just stared at her with a smug smile of victory. Not wanting to waste a moment, the dark-haired beauty let out an excited laugh as she lashed out with another pillow that she had pulled out from underneath the comforter. Cupi let out a playful scream as the pillow collided with her face, causing her to fall backward on the bed. Libidine straddled the blonde with her naked thighs and began to smack her repeatedly while Cupi threw up her arms in defense and laughed.

Then Liby tossed aside the pillow as she leaned down, grabbed Cupi’s wrists, and pinned the succubus down against the mattress. The two women’s breasts pressed against each other, and it was taking every ounce of my willpower to not throw down my towel and go join them.

“I win,” Liby whispered into the blonde’s ear.

“Could you keep it down?” Todd’s shrill voice broke the mood from the lounge area. “I’m trying to watch Bigfoot Files over here!”

I looked at the imp sitting on the cushy couch. Then I looked at the two hot naked women in my bed, then back at Todd. I made a dumbfounded face as I raised my two arms to point out to the imp the obvious priority issue he was facing. He just shrugged.

“Not into demons, remember?” he said. “Now, Bigfoot, on the other hand…” He turned back to the television.

“You want to fuck Bigfoot?” I laughed.

“Sickening, bro, sickening.” He shook his head and chuckled. “I totally should have phrased that better.”

Libidine got off her friend and patted the bed beside her. It didn’t take me much convincing to follow her lead and hop onto the springy mattress which bounced under the weight of my body. Cupiditas sat up and tossed her head onto my bare shoulder. I ran my fingers through her short blonde locks as I thought about all the things that I wanted to do to her.

Before I could get too far into my fantasy, Liby smacked me in the face with one of the pillows.

“Think fast!” she shrieked with glee.

Even though the pillow didn’t have much weight to it, I threw my body back as if it had knocked me off guard. I laid there and waited for a brief moment before I lashed out and wrapped my arms around the dark-haired succubus. She let out a playful scream as I pulled her down on top of me, and then Cupiditas, not wanting to be left out, hopped over and struck me with another weaponized square of death. Feathers shot out into the air from the impact.

“That’s not fair!” I laughed. “I don’t have anything to fight back with!”

“A big, strong guy with Hellfire powers shouldn’t be intimidated by a little pillow fight!” Cupi giggled as she attacked again.

This time, I threw up a purple shield. The pillow contorted as it wrapped around the wall harmlessly. Cupi frowned at the turn of events, but all I could do was shrug.

“It was your idea,” I laughed.

“Fine, spoilsport,” Liby joked as she tossed me a third pillow.

We spent the next hour or so in various states of play. We’d be pillow fighting one moment and then making out in the next. After the third or fourth time I had locked lips with the dark-haired succubus, Libidine looked at both of us hungrily. Cupi and I both recognized the look. It was time to seal the deal.

The blonde succubus tossed her pillow aside, reached out with her right hand, and started to run it along Libidine’s outer thigh. Liby let out a playful moan to show the succubus that she approved, and Cupiditas placed her other hand onto the busty woman’s hip.

Cupi arched her fit body downwards and slid backwards so that she was laying flat on her stomach. Then the blonde succubi licked her lips as she moved her face in towards the slit between Libidine’s legs. Liby’s eyes rolled back, and she let out a loud moan of pleasure.

I was now at full mast underneath the towel, and Cupi had noticed. Without looking away from her task at hand, the blonde reached up under the fabric and began to stroke my cock delicately. A wave of pleasure rushed over my entire body when I felt the succubus’ hand moving back and forth.

Liby locked her violet eyes with mine, and motioned for me to come closer, but it was hard to kiss her while Cupiditas was still going to town, so the voluptuous succubus had to pause every minute or so to let out a moan.

As much as I was enjoying this current position, I wanted more. I cast aside the towel before I pulled away from Libidine, moved Cupi’s hand off my dick, and then positioned myself behind the blonde succubus. The blonde bombshell was soaking wet, and she let out a soft, muffled groan as I slowly inserted myself into her. We continued on in this position for a few minutes before Libidine tapped Cupi on the head.

“When is it my turn?” she mused. “Not that you weren’t doing an excellent job, sister.”

“I was hoping you were never going to ask.” Cupiditas shrugged.

“You really are the succubus of greed!” Liby giggled as she gave her friend a playful yank forward, and the action removed me from her grasp.

I walked over to the curvy, dark-haired succubus, wrapped my hands around her waist, and yanked her toward me. Her eyes rolled back in her head as I eased into her, and then she used her arms to pull herself upwards for a kiss. Our tongues wrapped around each other while the blonde woman began to nibble, lick, and kiss Liby’s back passionately. Then Cupiditas slid her hand down between the curvy succubus’ legs, and she rubbed her clit while I slid in and out of her.

After Liby had climaxed  twice from Cupi and I double-teaming her, the blonde succubus decided that it was her turn again. She reached down, wrapped her hands around the base of my cock, and slid it out of the dark-haired woman. Then she laid down on her back directly beside Libidine and guided me back inside of her as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I thrust in and out of her as she and Liby made out and stroked each other’s breasts passionately.

We’d been going at it for almost an hour now, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Both of the girls had already orgasmed multiple times, but I’d stayed strong for the entirety of our lovemaking. I let out a loud moan as I felt my orgasm build, and then the three of us gasped in unison when I climaxed inside of the blonde. Cupi stared at me in satisfaction when I filled her pussy, and then she sighed and wrapped her arms around me when I collapsed on top of her. After a few moments of catching my breath, I rolled over onto my back and wrapped my arms around both of the beautiful woman.

As much as I wanted to get out there and hit the town with these two gorgeous creatures at my side, I was exhausted. On top of the amazing, draining sex we had just had, I hadn’t gotten much sleep since our makeshift camping extravaganza. This was the first time I’d been in a comfortable bed since we’d been back at our apartment, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from drooping shut and falling asleep as I laid there with the two sexy succubi.

Even when I was asleep, Libidine and Cupiditas were all I could think about. In my dreams, my mind replayed the scene of us making love over and over again. The thoughts were arousing, yet they were also extremely comforting. This was by far the best sleep I had gotten in years.

The next thing I knew, I was awakened by a loud knock at our bedroom door. I groggily sat up and rubbed my eyes, and as I stood up out of bed, the two women stirred. Cupi perked up when she saw my erection swinging back and forth as I strutted towards the closet to grab a robe.

“Careful,” she purred. “You could put somebody’s eye out with that thing.”

“Oh please,” I laughed. “You’ve been able to handle it so far.”

I tossed on my robe and meandered out to the main area of the room. When I opened the door, I was greeted by an annoyed three-foot tall imp who stood with his arms crossed.

“Are y’all done in there?” Todd tapped his foot on the ground. “It’s the middle of the afternoon. Time’s-a-wastin!”

“What, are you bored with Bigfoot Files?” I rubbed my eyes groggily.

“When you’ve seen each episode five or more times, yeah, kinda.” The imp shrugged. “But mainly, I want to check out the sweet buffet I saw downstairs!”

“No gambling for the Toddster?” I raised my eyebrow in disbelief.

Todd placed his hand over his heart. “I’ve learned my lesson. Last time I went to a casino, I lost our rent for March. Word of advice- Never bet on black six and red nine, Jakey.”

“I’ve always wanted to gamble,” Libidine smiled as she casually pulled the straps of her dress over her shoulders.

“We are gambling,” Cupiditas reminded the dark-haired succubus as she tugged on her leggings. “This whole thing with Earl could still go south, remember?”

“You worry too much, Cupi,” Libidine laughed. “Jacob is much stronger now, and we have a solid plan for our former master’s return. Not to mention, we have not one, but two experts on the occult and demon traps. We will be fine.”

“That’s the spirit,” I chuckled.

I began to get dressed, and then I looked down at my ratty jeans and frowned. Then I looked over to my friends. Even though the girls still had their outfits from our trip to the mall, they were now two days old. They had been through a fight with a demon pimp and an impromptu camping trip in the desert, after all, and I saw a few cuts and burn marks on Liby’s dress and Cupi’s tunic and jeans.

“As beautiful as you guys look in those outfits, we can’t hit the town looking like this.” I gestured to myself. “You know, we could stop by that clothing store we saw--”

Before my sentence had even been completed, the two succubi grinned and then took off towards the door.

I swiped the duffel bag from off Todd’s bed and turned to face the imp. “Bag, or invisible?”

“I’m feeling kinda lazy,” Todd snickered as he crawled up into the transporter and pointed toward the door. “Now mush!”

I followed the succubi down to the elevator, and we took it down to the first floor of the resort. The metallic doors opened, and the sights and sounds that greeted us were night and day from when we had checked in. It was now the height of the afternoon, and the lobby was filled with hundreds of people who wanted to come test their luck at the Excalibur. As we walked towards the clothing shop from earlier, people stopped to stare at us. I even got a couple of thumbs up from the men who stopped to admire my beautiful girlfriends. Cupi and Liby didn’t mind being the center of attention. In fact, they reveled in it.

We finally made it to the high-end clothing store, and the succubi smiled at me before they dashed into the establishment. The two women made their way to the women’s department, while Todd and I sauntered over towards where they kept the men’s clothing. This may not have been the highest-end resort in Vegas, but I wanted to look my best if we were going to try to win big.

“Bro. Check it out.” I heard Todd’s muffled voice from the partially unzipped duffel bag.

We had just passed by the kids section of the store, and there, on the top shelf, was a tiny tuxedo. I could feel the imp bobbing back and forth with excitement inside the carrier. Without warning, Todd flung open the bag, turned invisible, and scurried up the shelf towards his new outfit. The tuxedo lifted up into the air, and I heard the imp’s disembodied voice snicker.

“Catch!” Todd laughed, and the tux flew downward at my position.

I grabbed the garment before it hit the ground, and then I felt Todd’s weight return to the bag on my shoulder.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the two succubi giggling as they ran towards the dressing rooms of the store with their arms full of dresses.

It didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for. Right on the rack was a deep navy blue suit that was so dark it could almost be mistaken for black. Underneath, there was a matching navy vest, a white shirt, and a shiny purple tie that acted as a sharp contrast to the muted colors of the outfit. I checked for my size, swiped the outfit from the rack, and made my way back towards the dressing rooms to try it on.

“Are we going to name ourselves the ‘Wolf Pack?’” Todd asked when we each took our rooms.

“As long as you don’t slip us a bunch of drugs,” I laughed as I hung my suit up on the hook in my dressing room.

“Ohh, darn,” Todd sighed. “I was totally going to do that.”

“No you weren’t” I laughed.

“Bro, now you’ll never know. Also, don’t eat the brownies in the fridge.”

“Brownies in the-- wait, how did you have time to go out and get--”

“Don’t forget, my young padawan,” Todd whispered from the next room. “The Toddster always finds a way.”

The tags claimed that this suit was my size, but I was surprised at just how well it fit. The pants sat snug but not tight at my waistline while the white dress shirt left me just enough wiggle room so that I could move around in it without risk of tearing. As for the jacket, it sat perfectly atop my lanky yet muscular frame.

Now there was just the tie. I had grabbed a shiny purple one from the rack as I thought that would be the best contrast for the darkish blue. I’d never been good at tying a tie. It’s why I always had worn blazers or polos to work. After about a full minute of fumbling around with the piece, I finally was able to get it into a rough windsor knot. Then I stepped back and admired myself in the mirror. I had to admit that I looked really damn good. In fact, I looked like a guy that could be with two hot succubi, and also take on the world.

With a satisfied adjustment to the knot, I opened the door and walked out to wait on the girls. My heart pounded in my chest at the thoughts of what they could be wearing.

Todd was already out in the waiting area, now in full tux, and I quickly glanced around to make sure that the store was empty. It was besides a bored looking clerk at the cash register, so I turned back to my friend.

“You look damn good, buddy.”

“Of course I do!” he giggled as he adjusted his bowtie. “Just call me Todd. James Todd.”

“I think I’ve finally got it, Jacob,” Liby called out from her stall.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” I laughed. “I want to check you out.”

Liby stepped out of the changing room, and I was nearly knocked back on my ass. The black-haired succubus seemed to have a fashion sense as dark as her locks, and she had picked out the perfect midnight blue dress to match my suit. The blue spaghetti straps laid on her shoulders, holding up the massive weight of her breasts as they threatened to pop out of the low-cut neckline. The fabric flowed down just below her knees and clung to her body like a wet T-shirt.

“You like?” she purred when she noticed my breathing had become shallower and more intense.

“Uh- Yeah I do!” I smiled.

“My turn,” Cupi cooed as she stepped out of her dressing room. “I got something a little lighter. Fallen angel and all that.”

Cupiditas pretended that she didn’t care much for fashion, but the way her eyes lit up as I examined her outfit told me otherwise. She was a bit more playful than Liby as she modeled her gift. She’d picked a dress that was form-fitting. The cream colored garment just covered her inner thighs and hugged tight against her small, perky chest. The neckline was held up by a choker-like strap that ran up the succubus’ chest and wrapped back behind her body. Cupi gave a proud twirl for the group as she wore a smile three miles wide.

“Wow.” Those were the only words I could think of as I marveled at the two women in their new clothes.

“And look at you, handsome,” Libidine smirked as she walked over and put her hand on my chest. “I’d like to say I can’t wait to rip those clothes off you, but I’m kind of digging it.”

“I could always keep the suit on while we…” I started to say, and Liby bit her lip as she glanced down to my fly.

“There’s just one thing that could be improved.” Cupiditas said as she reached up, and I felt her untie the purple tie on my neck.

The blonde came around to my front and delicately started to wrap the tie back into place.

“I know how to tie every knot known to man,” she joked. “It’s something I picked up from Sister Ira.”

“A Trinity Knot?” I nodded as she made the intricate pattern around my neck. “I’m impressed.”

“It’s fitting, isn’t it?” Cupi winked as she finished and stepped away.

We went to the casher and bought all of our clothes. The woman working there looked like she might have been one of the first employees hired at the casino, and she didn’t bat an eye when we all decided to wear everything out. As I looked down at my new outfit, I felt like a million bucks. Now, all that was left was to go win some.

“Alright James Todd.” I nodded at my friend once we had paid, and then I turned to the girls. “Alright, ladies. We all ready to win some money?”

“Yep!” the three of them said in unison, and I picked up the duffel bag.

Todd clapped his hands together, hopped into the bag, and the four of us made our way toward the main lobby of the Excalibur. As we passed by the woman at the front desk, she blushed and gave the succubi a friendly wave.

We decided that, since we were right here, we should test out the casino housed within our resort. You could throw a rock and hit a casino in this place, so we could always find a better one if this wasn’t to our liking.

“Brrooooooo.” Todd pestered me from inside the bag. “Let’s go to the feast. El buffetto. La buffet. The Wolf Pack needs to gorge on the carcass of--”

“I get it, Todd,” I chuckled. “You’ve got the munchies again. The buffet it is.”

“It’s not just him,” Libidine put a hand over her growling stomach. “What’s the expression here on Earth? I feel like I could ‘eat a horse?’ Do they serve those here?”

“It’s just a figure of speech,” I laughed. “But if this buffet is as good as I’ve heard it is, then you’re going to get your fill and then more.”

“That is what I like to hear,” Cupiditas purred at my words. “I’m always looking for a good fill. But you knew that from earlier, didn’t you?”

“Oof. Please don’t make me lose my appetite,” Todd joked from his carrier.

“Shall we?” the athletic woman stuck out her arm for Liby to take.

The dark-haired succubi reached out and interlocked her arm with Cupi’s, and the two of them made their way across the casino floor towards the buffet.

“I don’t know who I should worry about more.” I looked down at the imp in the bag. “You, or the girls?”

“Definitely me.” Todd nodded.

As much as I liked to give my friend hell about his munchies, I was pretty hungry too. Since the ice cream parlor, all we’d had to sustain ourselves was some chips, mixed nuts, and an energy drink from the gas station near the border. As the four of us approached the shimmering sign of the buffet area, my stomach growled with anticipation.

“Three buffets?” the man behind the cash register asked as he rang up my order. “That’ll be eighty-four sixty-nine.”

“Yikes,” I laughed as I pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. “And here I thought the slots were where they got you.”

The cashier chuckled at my joke, took the bill, and then went to hand me back my change.

“Don’t worry about it.” I winked, and we started off towards the food serving area.

To our hungry eyes, the buffet looked like an oasis. It took everything in my power to keep myself from drooling at the seemingly endless rows of food. All of it looked so delicious, from the fruit that looked like it had been picked freshly off the tree to the gourmet desserts that appeared to be snagged directly out of a magazine ad. The two succubi stood beside me in awe as they marveled at the mountains of food that laid before them. I was sure that they didn’t have this kind of stuff in Hell.

I snagged four plates from the dispenser, handed them to Liby and Cupi, and then hopped into the line. For a late afternoon, this place was pretty bustling, but it was also a huge restaurant, and there were still plenty of places to sit.

And plenty of food to eat.

From inside the bag, Todd made smacking sounds with his lips.

“Come to papa,” he cackled and started to open up the zipper on the bag.
I threw my hand down to stop him. “Whoa Todd, you can’t just poke your head out right here. It’s way too busy.”

“Todd will not be denied his grub,” the imp scoffed. “How about this? Just unzip it slightly, and then you can slip the food down to me. I’ll be as discreet as can be.”

“Just slip the food into my duffel bag.” I repeated skeptically. “Yeah, that’s not weird at all.”

“I’ll be quiet,” he promised. “Nobody’s gonna notice. Besides, it’s Vegas! Crazy shit happens all the time. Just have the girls block the view.”

“Okay…” I shook my head as I half-unzipped the bag.

Cupi slid over to my right side, and Libidine remained on my left. Soon, we had a system in place. I would pick up whatever looked tasty onto the plate and angle it so that the imp could see. He’d let out a grunt if he thought it looked good, and then I’d discreetly slide it into the bag for my friend to enjoy. I was worried that one of the employees was going to come over to confront the weird guy sliding mashed potatoes into his duffel bag while he walked around the buffet tables, but so far nobody had noticed.

Meanwhile, Libidine was responsible for getting me a plate. She heaped nearly everything she saw onto the tray, until it was packed to the brim with mountains of pillowy mashed potatoes, crispy fried chicken, tender prime rib, and sweet brown-sugar carrots. And that was just from the American food section.

“So, why are there so many types of food here on Earth Realm?” Cupiditas asked as we passed over into the Asian cuisine section of the buffet. “The options in Hell are… Slim, to say the least.”

“So you’re telling me you’ve never had sushi, or orange chicken, or even an egg roll before?” I shot the blonde a sly grin. “You’re in for a treat.”

I reached out with the tongs and picked up a couple of crispy, golden-brown egg rolls. They looked like they had just been taken out of the fryer and crunched under the metal of my utensil when I picked them up. The things looked like they had been bathed in oil, and they shimmered in the light when I moved them towards Cupi’s plate.

“What about this stuff over here?” Libidine called from the Italian section of the buffet.

“Oh dear.” I shook my head. “You’ve never had Italian either? Pizza is life to poor guys like ourselves.”

“Formerly poor guys,” Todd corrected.

The pizza in Excalibur’s buffet was nothing like what Todd and I were used to dining on. Thick slices of pepperoni sat atop gooey white cheese that was currently bubbling under the lights of the heating lamp. As I used the spatula to remove a piece of the pie it left long, thin strands of mozzarella behind.

“That. Looks. Incredible.” Libidine drooled as the slice landed on her plate.

As much as I wanted to keep getting more food, we were at maximum capacity. Each of us now carried two plates each, and that wasn’t even including all the food we had slid down into the duffel bag. The four of us made our way to the dining area, trying not to spill any of the delicious morsels as we went. We finally found an open table for four and plopped down happily.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Cupiditas said as she ran her wide eyes back and forth across the mountains of food that lay before us.

“You’re the incarnation of greed, Cupi,” I chuckled. “Don’t think too hard about it, just dig in!”

Libidine picked up a piece of juicy sushi and plopped it into her mouth. She raised her violet eyes to the ceiling as she took a few bites, but she still couldn’t tell if she liked it or not. Then, a wide grin spread across her face, and she swallowed the food down her throat.

“That was quite tasty.” She nodded. “What is it?”

“That’d be sushi,” I explained. “Believe it or not, it’s raw fish wrapped up in rice and seaweed. Pretty good, huh?”

“You humans have odd tastes,” Cupiditas laughed, and then raised a forkful of tender ravioli pasta to her mouth.

The blonde couldn’t contain her expression of pleasure when the creamy alfredo sauce touched her lips. Her eyes nearly rolled back in her skull in ecstacy.

“I’m assuming that means you enjoy it?” I asked the blonde.

“Jacob,” she locked her eyes with mine. “It’s things like this that make me realize we made the right decision to stay. This stuff is amazing.”

“We would have never gotten this kind of treatment from Earl,” Libidine added.

“That’s because Jacob is the best master-- No, the greatest man we’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing,” Cupiditas grinned.

“To Jacob!” Todd yelled out as his small paws raised a chicken bone into the air in a toast.

“To Jacob,” Cupi and Libidine said in unison.

Through the partially opened zipper I could hear the inhuman-like sounds of the small demon tearing through his meal like a tasmanian devil. A half-eaten slice of pizza flew out of the bag in the chaos, and I looked around nervously to make sure that nobody had noticed. Thankfully, they were all too distracted by their own meal.

The next ten minutes or so were spent completely indulging. I took a bite of shrimp cocktail, and the buttery flavor of the shellfish made it feel like it was nearly dissolving in my mouth. Then I got to the perfectly cooked egg rolls that I had picked up earlier. My teeth crunched into the crispy shell, and my entire mouth was filled with a rush of oriental flavor. I gobbled down the rest of the appetizer and then moved on to the main dish. The fried chicken.

Before the tender meat of the breast even hit my tastebuds, I could tell it was going to be the best I’d ever had. The skin had the kind of crispness that you could only get from hand-frying it in a cast-iron skillet, rather than dumping it into a greasy deep fryer like many places did. I bit into the chicken, and the juices from the plump breast dribbled down my chin without warning. I didn’t care. I was going to devour this thing first and then worry about the cleanup later.

We continued on for what felt like another fifteen minutes, and then I leaned back in my chair and looked down at the empty plates in front of me. I’d devoured every single item I’d taken, and I briefly considered going back for more, but then I realized it was probably time to throw in the towel.

Libidine seemed to share my feelings. The curvy succubus was weakly trying to finish off her last spoonful of homemade mashed potatoes, but she could barely get the utensil into her mouth before she placed it down on the table in defeat.

Cupi, on the other hand, marveled at her empty plates and rubbed her chin as if she was thinking about going back for seconds.

“Are you still hungry?” I asked the blonde in disbelief.

“Not really.” She shrugged, nearly in a food coma. “But that was so delicious. I know there’s still room in there somewhere!”

“How you feeling, buddy?” I looked down at the imp in the bag who was still munching.

“Bro, I don’t think I’m going to eat again for weeks.” Todd let out a loud belch of satisfaction that actually made the sides of the duffle bag vibrate.

“That’s a lie, and be both know it,” I laughed.

“That has to be the most food I’ve eaten in my life,” Libidine mused. “I’m used to one solid meal a day, and that’s on a good day.”

“When we are with Jacob, every day is a good day,” Cupi purred. “Much better than even our best days under Earl.”

“Speaking of…” I pulled back the sleeve of my suit jacket and looked at my watch. “We only have so much time before that asshole returns. Let’s go out and win some money.”

“Fuck yeah.” Todd raised his hand into the air weakly.

The succubi and I stood up, and I tossed a twenty onto the table as a tip. I threw the imp carrier across my shoulder, and then we made our way out to the main floor.

First thing’s first, we needed some gambling chips.

I walked up the cashier’s desk, pulled out ten hundred-dollar bills, and slid them across the counter. The woman behind the desk shot me a warm smile and then returned with a small baggie full of chips of various colors and values.

My friends and I had our bellies full of delicious food and were dressed like sex machines. Now it was time to kick some ass at the casino.

After a short walk, we came across a blackjack table. Three men and a woman sat across from the dealer who shuffled the punched cards as he yucked it up with his customers. He dealt to the four people, who then made bets of various increments and told him whether they wanted to hit or stand. When that round was done, the dealer flipped over his own card, much to the dismay of the man at the very center of the table. The man slammed his fists down on the table in anger as the dealer pulled away the loser’s two black chips, and then he got up from the table and walked away in a huff.

“There’s an open spot here,” I said as I slid down at the chair and plopped the duffel bag down at my feet. “I think I’m gonna get in on this while we have the chance.”

“What is this game?” Libidine asked as she put her right arm around my shoulder.

“This is Blackjack, my dear,” I explained. “Basically, you try to get the closest you can get to twenty one without going over. Aces can be either a one or an eleven. At the end, whoever is the closest wins.”

“Sounds like it could be a game of strategy,” Cupi perked up at my words as she joined her sister at my side.

“Oh, it most certainly is,” I chuckled as I pulled out a few chips.

The two succubi stood behind me, anxiously awaiting whatever was about to happen next. It was already a crowded table, but I enjoyed having cheerleaders. Especially sexy succubi ones who hung off me with bated breath.

The dealer was a short man whose age was hard to judge. His face was youthful and spry, but his bald head made me think that he couldn’t be any younger than forty. His brown eyes were buggy like saucers but held a glimmer of excitement as he grinned at the new prospect arriving at the table. I could tell that he was a guy who loved his job.

“Deal me in,” I said to the dealer as I put ten $5 red chips on the table.

“Certainly, sir,” the dealer said.

He then shuffled the deck in a flurry of fingers and cardstock and placed two cards face up in front of me. The jack of clubs stared me back in the face, partnered with a six of spades. Meanwhile, the dealer had given himself one card face down and an ten of hearts.

“What do you do now?” Cupi whispered in my ear.

“Well,” I sighed. “He’s got an ten, and most of the cards in the deck are going to be ten, so he’ll probably beat my sixtee--”

“You should hit,” Liby whispered. “I have a good feeling about it.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yesss,” she purred in my ear.

“Okay,” I said as I felt my heart start to hammer in my chest. It was only fifty dollars, but I was used to being poor, and I hated the idea of losing.

The other people at the table declared if they were hitting or staying, and then the dealer turned to me.

“Hit me,” I said as I exhaled slowly.

The next card was a four of spades which brought my total to twenty.

“Hey,” I said. “Not bad.”

“See?” Liby whispered.

“He can still beat me,” I said, and then the three of us turned toward the dealer.

He flipped over his face-down card to reveal a nine of hearts. Libidine and Cupiditas let out a scream of glee.

“Well I’ll be damned,” the dealer laughed and pulled out ten more red chips for me to add to my winnings.

I combined the ten chips with my own and pushed them back onto the table to wager.

This time, I was dealt a much worse hand. A six of diamonds and a six of hearts.

“What now?” Cupi asked.

“Well, I can split them and play two hands at once,” I said.

“Ohhh,” Liby moaned softly in my ear. “Two at once. You are good at that.”

I laughed and indicated to the dealer that I wanted to split my doubles.

“Another one-hundred,” I laid down twenty more red chips in a pile next to my first bet.

The man behind the table nodded and then moved the two sixes into separate piles. I placed my two fingers together and tapped them on the table. The dealer slowly flipped up the next card which was revealed to be the six of spades. Now I sat at twelve for the first hand. That wasn’t going to be winning me anything.

“Three sixes,” Libidine whispered into my ear. “How fitting. Maybe they will give you a nine next?”

“Those are my favorite two numbers put together,” Cupi giggled.

“You both are too much,” I chuckled. Then I tapped two fingers in front of me again, and the man flipped the next card. It was a nine of hearts, and the two succubi gave out gleeful cheers as they hugged me. I was at twenty-one, and my first hundred was secure. Now I just had to worry about the second hand.

“Hit me.” I nodded and tapped the table next to my second hand.

The dealer seemed to hold his breath as he slowly turned over the next card, the ace of spades. This was a predicament. Seventeen wasn’t a great number, but it was close enough to twenty-one that I could easily bust, and I could always switch it to seven.

“Hit again,” Liby urged, and I motioned for the dealer to hit again.

The short man turned the punched card. Staring back at me was a four of clubs, and my two girlfriends giggled with delight.

All that was left was to see if the dealer could match my hand. He frowned as he flipped over his second card to reveal a five of diamonds, bringing his total to fifteen. The man smiled at me, and he dealt himself another card. This time, it was an eight of clubs. Bust.

“Good job, sir,” he complimented me.

I jumped up from my chair and fist-pumped into the air. Libidine wrapped her arms around me and joy, and Cupiditas gave me a playful peck on the cheek in celebration.

“Look, I’m all for blackjack and all,” Todd yelled from his doggy carrier. “But we need to hit up the slots. You can’t go to Vegas and not play the mother fucking slots.”

“Sounds like a plan. I don’t want to take all this guy’s money, anyways,” I joked to the dealer as I grabbed all my chips and excused myself from the table.

We walked across the floor to a cluster of slot machines, and I motioned for the dark-haired succubus to sit down.

“You want to give it a spin, Liby?” I offered.

“Oh, I wouldn’t even know what to do…” Libidine trailed off.

“It’s easy!” I reassured the woman as I leaned over and placed a ten-dollar bill into the machine. “Just choose how many lines you want to play, click the button, and then push play.”

Libidine seemed hesitant, but she reached out a slender finger and pushed down on the button that gave her the minimal bet option.

The machine was the most inappropriate you could ask for given our current situation. It was called “Angelic Chorus,” and featured pictures of angels all over the facade along with money symbols with halos. I was actually surprised that all four of us didn’t burst into flames just from touching it.

Liby hesitated at the sight before she reached out and pulled down the lever. The machine answered with a mechanical click, and the three slots sprang to life as they lit up and spun around happily. The dark-haired succubus laughed with joy at the scene.

The slots spun around and landed with three “bar” symbols in a diagonal pattern. A shrill bell rang as blue letters spelled out the word “winner” across the screen and the credits indicator ticked upward with the ding of a bell at each ten cent interval. Libidine giggled happily as she bounced up and down.

“Hey dudette, can you hoist me up and give the ‘ol Toddster a shot?” the imp laughed from below.

“Sure thing!” Libidine giggled.

The succubus lifted the bag up and set in on top of her lap inconspicuously. Todd peeked his horned head out briefly to look around and see if the coast was clear. When he realized it was, he rubbed his hands together greedily, reached out, and pushed the button to play a dollar.

The slots whirled around on their base and came to a stop with three clouds in a row and two “wild” symbols on the top left and bottom right. The credits indicator sang as the original ten dollars I had put in was now up to eighty-five.

“It just needed an imp’s touch,” Todd pretended to brush dirt off his shoulder triumphantly. “Okay, you can set me down now. I just wanted to touchy-touchy.”

Libidine sat the duffel bag back on the floor and cracked her knuckles.

“I’m going for the big one.” Liby smirked as her finger lingered over the max bet button.

“Nice,” Todd said from below, and we all leaned forward to watch the dark-haired beauty play.

The succubus pushed her finger down and bet the maximum of thirty dollars on this single spin. As the slots stopped, they displayed three “bonus” symbols lined up across the top. The red light atop the machine sprang to life with the sound of a shrill siren. On the screen, the bonus game began with a flurry of cartoon angels coming down and singing to increase the multipliers on the slots. They kept singing and singing until Libidine’s screen had two different multipliers at times twenty each. The slots stopped in their tracks, and the screens filled up with wild symbols. Libidine screamed with joy when the screen lit up with the words “Jackpot!” and began to show how much she had won.

“Jackpot?” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. “How much is that?”

The ticker on the counter was now at over two-thousand dollars total, but it wasn’t stopping. The chorus of angels on the screen continued to grow louder and louder alongside the growing numbers, and it was now up to nearly six-thousand.

The commotion from our slot machine had drawn the attention of almost everyone in our immediate vicinity, and we now had a crowd of spectators huddled around, who murmured about when they thought it was going to end.

“Holy shit, bro!” Todd was now glued to the screen in awe.

When the counter on the slot machine finally came to a halt, it read five figures. Ten thousand dollars.

“Whoooaaaaa,” Todd hissed, but his voice was pretty much lost when the surrounding crowd cheered.

“I’m just lucky, I guess.” Libidine shrugged.

“Oh. My. God.” I said as I nearly tumbled backwards onto an empty stool behind me. “Am I dreaming?”

“We’re rich, Jacob!” Todd exclaimed from the bag.

My head began to spin as I took in the sounds of the casino around me and tried to wrap my mind around what had just occurred. Cupiditas wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a passionate kiss, and then Libidine also hugged and kissed me. Several people from the crowd around us came over to shake my hand and congratulate me on my winnings. Eventually, a representative from the Excalibur had to come over and confirm that the machine was correct.

The man cashed out the machine and handed the slip of paper to Libidine, who just looked at it with a proud smile.

My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled to breathe. Ten thousand dollars. That was nearly two years’ worth of rent. That was a new engine for my broken car, or a down payment on a new one. I only had a few hundred bucks in my bank account, but now I was going to have five figures.

And that was only if we stopped gambling right now.

And there was no way in hell we were going to stop.

“Jacob, we have to play everything!” Todd called out from inside his bag. “If Liby can win big on these slots, then who knows what we can do if we keep going! We can’t let this streak end!”

“Uh-- Uh, yeah!” I tried to reorient myself.

This whole experience had to have been a dream. I had two super-sexy women who not only wanted me, but lusted after me as if I was their only desire in the entire universe. Now I had won ten-thousand dollars? I actually pinched my left bicep to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, since I feared that any minute now I was going to wake up back in my shitty apartment, in my shitty bed, alone. I just knew it. I gave myself a minute to soak in the exhilaration of the moment, and then I turned to the dark-haired succubus in front of the machine.

“Do you want to keep going?” I asked. “You seem to be the luckiest charm of all.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Jacob,” Liby purred and batted her violet eyes at me.

Yep. I had to be dreaming.

“Roulette!” Todd exclaimed. “That’s where I lost all my money last time.”

“Last time, we didn’t have all this sexy demon women luck on our side.” I smiled. “I feel like we can’t lose no matter what we do.”

“We can’t.” Cupiditas smirked. “And roulette sounds like a blast.”

“Then the decision is made,” Liby grinned. “On to the roulette table!”

As we walked across the casino floor, we looked like a crew that was ready to bring down the house. Even though our imp sat hidden in our bag, he was still dressed to the nines and made whistling sounds at the attractive women who passed us by. Most of them responded by recoiling in disgust, but then looked around confused as they tried to find the source of the sound.

We waltzed up to the roulette table, each with a drink in our hand. If we were going to make our already incredible day even better, then I needed to just cut loose like Liby had done earlier. I pulled out two handfuls of chips and handed them to the dealer. His eyes widened with surprise as he looked down at my bet, which was about six-hundred in total.

“What do you wish to place a bet on?” he asked.

“Bro, always bet on red,” Todd whispered from the duffel bag.

“Isn’t is always bet on black?” I laughed.

“Naw bro,” he laughed. “It’s my lucky skin color.”

“Sure thing,” I chuckled as I turned to the croupier. “I want to make a couple bets. These ten can go on number six. And I want to divy these up between even, red, and low.”

“Uh, Jacob?” I felt Todd tugging on the leg of my trousers. “Isn’t that like, all the money we came in here with?”

“Oh, Todd.” I smiled as I looked down at the dapper demon. “When I win, I’m going to split the winnings four ways, and you can do whatever you want with that money, no questions asked.”

Todd made a zipping motion with his hand across his lips as he smiled devilishly.

The dealer placed my chips down on their respective spaces nonchalantly. Little did he know, I was the luckiest man alive right now, and it was all thanks to these two beautiful creatures that stood beside me.

He placed the small marble-like ball into the roulette wheel and then flicked it across the track. The ball raced around its basin for what felt like an eternity, but then finally started to slow its momentum. It bounced across the metal walls of the wheel as it threatened to land in something that would fuck up my day pretty badly. I was half-tempted to use my emerald flames to ensure it landed in the right spot, but I really didn’t want to use my powers to cheat. I was already lucky enough. The tension mounted as the ball came to a halt, and the dealer looked down to check it out.

“Red six!” he exclaimed in disbelief, and the entire table erupted in cheers.

“I never doubted you for a second!” Todd yelled as he hugged my leg in joy.

“How much did you win?” Libidine asked excitedly.

I couldn’t breathe. If my calculations were correct, then I’d just earned twenty-one thousand dollars on my straight bet alone. The outside bets added a twelve hundred more, bringing my grand total to twenty-two thousand, two-hundred. My entire body was shaking with excitement.

“Guys,” I looked up at the succubi, shook my head, and smiled. “I’m gonna have to buy you all a nice steak dinner after this. I just won more today than I make in an entire year!”

“Hooray!” Liby cheered as she jumped up and down. The movement made her fantastic breasts bounce enthusiastically, and every man in the casino must have turned to gawk at her.

“I’m so happy that you are happy,” Cupi hugged me, and then the two women showered me with kisses.

“This is crazy, bro,” Todd said. “Most people get trapped in Vegas and lose all their money, but we have made so much. Think about all the weed and snacks we can buy now!”

“Yeah, man,” I said, even though it was getting hard to think. My chest felt like it was about to explode. I knew I wasn’t rich, but I was over thirty grand up, and it had only been half an hour since we started gambling. With these two beautiful women and my best friend at my side, I knew that there was nothing that could bring me down.

Except for Earl.

He was going to be coming for Liby and Cupi soon, and I still didn’t really know how to stop him.

Then I remembered what Todd had just said to me, and I felt like a lightning bolt of genius struck the top of my skull.

“Guys, I think I have an idea to beat Earl,” I said. “Todd said Vegas is a trap, right? So we are going to set a trap for Earl. Then, we are going to destroy him.”

Chapter 13

“Believe it or not, demon traps are a dime a dozen,” Cupiditas mused as she thumbed through one of Todd’s old paranormal books.

“Seriously, bro.” Todd nodded in agreement and held up a book of his own. “I could flip this thing open to a random page and there’d probably be instructions on how to capture a demon. Even in the section on circumcision.”

“Humans are odd.” Libidine shrugged. “They talk so much about how we demons are the cause of all of Earth Realm’s problems, but they’re the ones that keep summoning us here and trying to make us their own.”

“I can’t say I blame them,” I laughed. “Look at how great things got for me when you two showed up.”

Satisfied with our casino winnings, we had returned to our suite in the Excalibur so that we could formulate a plan. The looming battle with Earl was going to be tough, but if we could weaken him or catch him in a demon trap, we might just stand a chance. Thankfully, we had our own three-foot tall walking paranormal encyclopedia, his entire library to consult, and two hot succubi women to verify our findings.

“So the Key of Solomon is going to be our best bet, right?” I asked the blonde and the imp as they continued to study the texts.

“Not necessarily,” Cupi replied. “They are the most common and well-known type of protective circle, but that’s good and bad.”

“How so?” I questioned.

“King Solomon came up with the magic thousands of years ago.” She stared me down with her violet eyes. “Which means that demons have had thousands of years to figure out how to counter it. It will still work on our former master, but we’ll have to work quickly if we want to take him out before he squirms his way out of it.”

“Then we just have to throw everything and the kitchen sink at this guy.” I nodded.

“In the meantime, should Jacob and I be practicing?” Libidine piped up. “Neither of us know how to create these magic circles.”

“Here ya go.” Todd pulled out a crumpled-up piece of paper and outstretched his hand. “This is the one Cupi drew for you in the car earlier. It’s basically paint by the numbers at this point!”

Cupiditas and Todd spent the next hour looking through the paranormal books and scribbling down the spells they wanted to try out on a piece of paper.

Meanwhile, the dark-haired succubus and I sat at the dining room table and did our best to try to match the intricate designs of the Key of Solomon. After the last point was drawn on the star, I held up the piece of paper to admire my work. It was a rough copy, but it at least shared some resemblance with the original drawing. I looked over at Liby, who stuck out her tongue as she drew.

“Ohhh, here’s a good one,” Todd exclaimed as he tapped the book he was currently looking at. “Witch Bottles, bro.”

“Those are always fun!” Libidine laughed. “Particularly the preparation phase.”

“Witch Bottles?” I looked up at the imp on the couch.

“The gist is, you take some DNA from the person that the evil entity is after and put it in a bottle. Toenails, blood, semen, hair, whatever. Then you enchant the bottle. The demon gets too close, thinking he’s found his target, and boom!” Todd clapped his hands together. “He’s trapped, and you burn that bitch like he’s the guest of honor at a comedy roast!”

“Just one question,” Liby asked with her hand raised. “Can I help extract the bodily fluids?”

“Me too!” Cupi exclaimed as she bounced up and down on the couch excitedly.

“I think I’m gonna barf.” Todd held a hand over his mouth and pretended to hold back vomit. “When we get there, you do whatever it is you gotta do. Just make sure that I’m not present when it happens. No homo.”

I rolled my eyes at Todd’s comment. “I’ll keep that in mind. Have you guys found anything else?”

“A mirror trap,” Cupiditas said as she rapped her finger on the page.

“What is that?” I asked. “Like, Bloody Mary?”

“No, no,” Todd hopped in. “Demons are obsessed with their own reflections. The bigger the ego, the more they enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror, and Earl’s ego is at least as big as Todd Jr.”

“Todd J--” Cupi started to ask, but I interrupted her.

“Whatever it is you’re about to ask, I can promise you don’t want to know the answer,” I laughed.

“Speak for yourself, bro.” The imp shrugged.

“That is actually a great idea, Todd!” Liby smiled. “If we created a room full of mirrors, then it would freeze our former master in his tracks. He’d be too distracted by his own image--”

“And we could throw everything we had at him without any resistance!” Cupi finished.

Todd stuck his hands together and bowed. “Exactly. You are learning well, my young apprentices.”

“So we definitely need a place with bathrooms,” I suggested. “If we could smash some of those wall-length mirrors and then attach them to the walls, it would create a sort of makeshift house of mirrors. And then Earl would be so obsessed with his reflection that he’d be petrified!”

“But wait, there’s more!” Todd flipped through the pages of the book gleefully. “If you buy three demon traps today, we’ll include three more, free of charge!”

“How many more of these things are there?” I asked.

“Oh, there are hundreds,” Todd smirked. “I think we’ll be fine with what we’ve got here, but it never hurts to have a couple backups. Not to mention, those are the ones that have been tested the most.”

Todd spend the next hour or so explaining the various ways that people have tried to capture demons through history. He talked about woven spirit traps, bone traps, dreamcatchers, amulets, runes, and just about everything else he knew off the top of his head. They might not be as effective as the powerful magic of King Solomon, but he was right, it would be wise to have some backup.

“Now that I’ve endowed upon you the sage-like wisdom of the Toddster,” the imp cackled, “all we have left to do is find an abandoned building and get to work.”

“I know just where to look.” I nodded. “All the stuff I’ve read about Vegas tells tourists to avoid the north part of the strip around the Stratosphere. There’s a lot of abandoned buildings and sketchy one-night-stand motels out there. It’s perfect.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Todd ran over to the duffel bag and hopped inside. “Onward, to certain death!”

I raised my eyebrow at the imp as I picked up the bag and slung it over my shoulder.

“Err--” He paused. “I mean, onward to near-certain death!”

The four of us made our way through the winding seventies corridors of the Excalibur. Soon we had passed through the main lobby and out to the valet service.

“We had the yellow--” I began, but the valet put up a hand to stop me.

“Yellow Volvo. I remember,” he laughed as he grabbed our keys and went off to find the car.

“She’s a beauty,” Todd giggled from the bag. “Nobody ever forgets my baby.”

“She certainly is unforgettable,” I chuckled.

The valet brought the yellow sedan back to our position, and I tipped him a hundred-dollar bill as I walked around to get into the car. Lola was sputtering and shaking, but she was still in one piece and ready to hit the road.

“Are we ready for this?” I asked my friends.

“As ready as we ever will be.” Cupi shrugged cautiously.

I put the car into drive, and we headed off towards our final battle with Earl.

We had only driven for half an hour or so before the bustling beauty of Vegas became decrepit and filthy.

“This is definitely the part of town that they don’t show you in all the brochures!” Todd exclaimed as we slowly drove through the sizzling street lamps of one of the city’s more sketchy areas.

Each building we passed looked to be in disrepair. Prostitutes stood along every street corner we saw, beckoning for us to stop and hire them. Along the right side of the road were hotels that were available to rent by the hour, probably a joint venture with the women we had passed. Todd and I weren’t too phased by this scene since our apartment wasn’t exactly in the Hamptons. Gunshots and angry prostitutes were something we heard on a nightly basis. There was even that one time where Todd had to go out into the hallway with a baseball bat to scare off some dude that was trying to break in. My roommate was as laid back as you could be, but he could be ferocious when he was provoked. Especially when you threatened the one thing he loved the most, his weed.

Still, there was something so surreal about seeing a bunch of beat-up old love shacks out in the middle of the Nevada desert, just next to the shimmering lights of Sin City. Lola finally rolled to a stop in front of a four-story building on the far outskirts of town that had brown brick siding and looked like it had been abandoned for years.

“This will be the perfect spot to take on Earl,” I said as I got out of the yellow sedan. “A piece of filth like him deserves to die in a shithole like this!”

“We should hurry. Earl will be back in less than twelve hours,” Cupi reminded me.

“I personally can’t wait,” Todd shrugged. “He only got to see a small dose of my karate expertise. I’m gonna go all crouching dragon on him this time!”

I rolled my eyes as Todd spread his legs apart in a fighting stance and let out a loud “waaaaa” as he lowered his fists. The imp had spirit, that was for sure, but if we didn’t get these traps set up, I didn’t know if even my newfound powers would be enough to save us.

We walked across the sidewalk and approached the front of the decrepit building.

“It’s locked, of course,” I said after I tried the door. “I’m going to kick it dow--”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Liby interrupted me.

“Oh,” I chuckled. “Yeah, I forgot I have Hellfire powers.” I glanced at the door, but then I looked up and saw that one of the large windows on the third floor was broken.

“Well, handsome, how are you going to get us inside?” Cupi winked at me.

“I’ve only ever teleported Todd before,” I said.

“Wait, what?” my friend asked. “No you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” I laughed.

“Uhh no,” Todd sighed. “Bro, I would totally remember something as awesome as you teleporting me. I have a flawless memory for awesome stuff like that.”

“You were super stoned,” I said as I stared at him.

“Oh, no doubt. No doubt.” He laughed.

“This could be a good way to test your teleporting power,” Cupi said with a shrug of her slender shoulders.

“I could also lift us up through the window,” I said as I pointed up.

“Or you could just explode-er-ate the door,” Todd said.

“All three options can work,” Cupi said.

“I’ll try the teleport,” I said. “Give me a second to focus.”

Now that the three of us had strengthened our connection, I only had to think briefly about what made me disgusted and jealous. Given our current situation, it didn’t take much effort to think of something. Earl’s slimy mug appeared in my head, smiling as he belittled me in front of my succubi. This asshole wanted to take away the greatest things that had ever happened to me and turn them back into little more than high-end demonic escorts. The green flame burned bright around the four of our bodies as I pictured the inside of the building.

The next thing I knew, we were in a pitch-black building. I thought back to the connection to fuel my passion, and a blaze of red fire illuminated the room. This place most likely had been a convenience store back in the day. There were shelves everywhere filled with jars of now-molded food and canned goods that wore expiration dates from the fifties. There was a large oak counter that stretched all the way around the building in a u-shape, and an old-fashioned cash register at the bottom of the shape.

“This place looks like it was ripped straight out of a western movie,” Todd commented as he climbed up on a shelf and grabbed a can of beans.

“You’re not seriously going to eat that, are you?” I asked in disbelief.

“I have a gut of steel now,” he replied as opened the can with his dagger-like claws. “So, yes, I am going to eat them.”

He grinned at me as he pried open the top part of the can with his claws and dumped the contents into his gullet. With a smack of his lips, he tossed the can aside and went for another one, consuming about five cans of beans before he finally got full. Todd sat down and patted his belly, satisfied.

“Those were totally still good, man. You want to try some?” he asked as he reached for another can.

“I think I’m good,” I retorted. “I’d prefer not to spend the entire night trying not to shit my guts out.”

“Your loss,” he shrugged as he scurried into the other room.

“Cupi,” I said as I turned to the blonde succubus. “What’s our next move? You’re the expert here.”

“We will need to set up multiple demon traps all around this place.” She motioned with her hands outstretched. “He’s going to expect us to fight back, but he can’t win a war of attrition. Earl’s not that high up the totem pole.”

“Can’t Jacob just take Earl to the shadow world and leave him there with all the shadow people?” Todd asked.

“No!” Cupi and Liby hissed at Todd.

“The Shadow World is not something to be toyed with, Todd.” Cupi continued. “Even we demons don’t know the full extent of what those things that inhabit it are capable of. It’s too risky. Between the four of us, we are more than capable of handling one low-level demon here on Earth Realm.”

“Gotcha,” Todd said as he nodded slowly. Then he turned to me and winked. “We definitely aren’t ever going to use the shadow world. Like… ever. Cause no way that’s bueno. For sure. You hear that, Jacob? No shadow world. It’s super dangerous and even demons are afraid of it. Don’t even think about it. Terrible idea, bro.”

“I hear you, Todd,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

“Good,” the imp said. “Cause I just want to make sure you understand how dangerous and powerful it is, and like… no one can use it but you it sounds like, so don’t even think about using it on Earl.”

“See?” Cupi said as she patted the imp’s head. “Your friend understands.”

“I totally do,” Todd said as he held his hand up to his face so my girlfriends couldn’t see him wink at me again.

“That brings up a good point,” I sighed as I realized my two girlfriends had no idea that Todd was totally full of shit. “Why doesn’t Earl just bring in all of his other succubi to kill us? He’s got five more.”

“I can answer that one!” Liby bounced up and down with her hand raised. “He thinks that me and my sister here will eventually give in and cower when he unleashes his full wrath. Once it happens, he believes you and Todd will be child’s play to dispose of.”

“Or maybe he’s afraid that the other succubi will fall for Jacob like we did,” Cupi added.

“I mean, it took some persuasion to get you to stay…” I said with a sly smile, and Cupiditas and Libidine both returned the grin.

“Thankfully, Earl is too foolish to realize that we’ve already made our decision,” Cupi continued. “We’re with you until the end. Whether that is today or not is up to us.”

“Then let’s get to work,” I said. “Todd, you are our resident protective circle expert. Can you--”

“Also sexy,” he interrupted.

“Yeah,” I replied, “but can you draw those Key of Solomon runes we went over in the middle of--”

“Also well-endowed,” he interrupted again.

“Dude,” I sighed.

“I know,” he laughed. “I’ll focus on etching out those rune circles. You’ll want one on each door?”

“I was thinking you could put one right out in the open where Earl can see it.”

“Uh, doesn’t that kind of defeat the whole purpose setting up a surprise trap?” Todd asked as he scratched his head with a stubby finger.

“Exactly,” I nodded. “We want him to think we’re complete idiots. That way he’ll walk right into the real trap.”

“I can see it now.” Cupi put her hands on her hips and changed the pitch of her voice to mock her pimp. “He’ll waltz in here with his stupid slicked-back hair and say something like ‘You’ll have to try harder than that, Mr. Ralston’ or ‘Did you really think I, the servant of Azazel, would fall for such a primitive trap?’ He’s so far up his own ass that I don’t know how he breathes without spewing shit everywhere.”

“Look at that!” Todd giggled. “Cupi is a regular comedian over here. Can you do Morgan Freeman?”

One look from the succubi told us that she had no idea who that was, so Todd shrugged and got to work with a piece of chalk. It took him no time at all to create the large white protective circle in between the u-shaped counter of the room. The thing must have been at least three or four feet wide in diameter. There was no way Earl was going to miss this.

“Let’s scratch some into the wood.” I pointed to the inner and outer parts of the counter. “Those will be much less visible.”

“Sure thing, boss-man.” Todd saluted and then scurried over to the right side of the structure.

The imp started to use his claws to scratch a Key of Solomon onto the counter while Libidine and Cupi used a knife to create their own just on the opposite side. The imp finished his drawing first and scuttled over to Liby to help ensure that her design was perfect.

The succubus wiped her brow and once the circles were now set up and ready to go. The curvy, dark-haired woman stood up and arched her back to stretch, which made the two voluptuous breasts on her chest look even more enlarged than they already were.

“Uh--” I gulped at the sight. “Is it time to make the Witch Bottle yet?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Cupiditas purred.

“This is my favorite part!” Libidine bounced up and down and then pranced over to my position.

“Todd, could you--” I started, but the imp threw up a hand to silence me.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll go check out the mirror situation while you guys do your thing. The bottle is in the bag.” Todd laughed as he passed through the doorway.

As soon as my friend was gone, Cupi dropped to her knees and pulled down my pants with glee while Libidine caressed my chest as she passionately kissed me. The blonde succubus used one hand to tug off her shirt and reveal the erect nipples underneath while she pleasured my member with the other. The dark-haired woman pulled away for a second to admire what her sister was doing, and she slowly reached down with her left hand to hold her sister’s chin. Cupi’s violet eyes burned intensely, and she opened her mouth and let her sister ease her forward onto my cock.

I groaned in pleasure as the blonde continued to go to lick and suck on me, and Liby grabbed my hand so she could press it onto her now exposed breast. I caressed the woman sensually, and we went back to making out. My free hand slipped down and gave Cupi’s hair a playful pull. She must have liked it because she let out a muffled moan and started going double time. Then Libidine started to kiss her way down my neck, eventually getting down on her knees to help out with the extraction process.

Strengthening our connection earlier had done much more than make us stronger with our mystical powers. It felt like the three of us were now truly one soul. We could sense each other’s feelings, which also just so happened to include our darkest fantasies and most intimate desires, and these two succubi were most certainly acting on those feelings. They continued for a few more minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m going to cum,” I hissed as my hips started to gyrate.

“Hmmmm,” Cupi moaned as she pushed her mouth down all way so that the tip of my penis slid against the back of her throat.

Liby was bent sideways down below her sister and she swirled her tongue around my balls frantically, and I grabbed the backs of both their heads so that I could steady myself.

It was just too much, and I groaned as I began to fill the blonde’s mouth. My orgasm seemed to last for almost a minute, and I almost couldn’t stand as the pleasure and agony both pulsed through me.

Then I felt the blonde woman suck the last of my sperm out of the tip of my cock, and she slid her mouth off me.

“How was it?” Liby asked her sister as she reached for the bottle in Todd’s pack.

“Yummm,” Cupi said as she looked up into my eyes and smirked playfully.

“I think you need to spit his cum into this bottle,” Liby said as she pulled the glass from the bag and held it out to her sister.

“Ohhh, ummm,” Cupi grimaced and then licked her lips. “I just swallowed it all.”

“Oh, you greedy bitch,” Liby laughed. “We needed that for the trap.”

“Oops. I guess we’ll just have to do it all again. Right, Jacob?” Cupi gave me a little shrug.

“You guys are exhausting,” I joked.

The two women looked absolutely radiant as they tugged their clothes back over their delicate bodies, and I somehow felt myself get hard again.

“Let us know when you’re ready for round two.” Cupi winked, and I almost asked for them to go again. Then I figured that I’d give them more cum if we worked on the runes for a few more hours so I could recover.

I pulled my pants back up while the blonde turned around, locked arms with Libidine, and then strutted back over to continue working. The succubi giggled playfully as they finished drawing the protective circles on the ground and counters, and Todd sauntered back in just as they were getting finished.

“Did you get the… uh… stuff?” he asked with an awkward tone.

“He tasted too good,” Cupi explained. “I had to swallow all of it.”

“Totally didn’t need to know that, broette,” the imp laughed. “Luckily for you, there are literally dozens of other ways to trap a demon that doesn’t involve your love juice.”

“That’s a shame.” Cupi’s eyes simmered as the words left her mouth.

Todd held up an empty bottle. “Alright, Jake, I tried to let you do this the fun way. Now we’re gonna try one of the grosser ways. Blood, hair, or nails?”

“How much are we talking here?” I nervously ran my hands through my hair as I tried to think of which option was going to be the least intrusive.

“All of it,” the imp whispered eagerly as he leaned in close to my ear.

A wild grin bared Todd’s teeth as my heart fell into my stomach. The imp stared into my eyes sadistically, but then a chuckle broke through his serious expression. Todd fell backward on the floor and laughed maniacally.

“I’m just fucking with you, bro!” He giggled. “Just give me a couple hairs, and we should be a-ok.”

I let out a sigh of relief as I reached up to pluck a few strands out of my brown locks. Then Todd swiped the piece of my DNA, tossed it in the bottle, set it down on the wooden countertop, and motioned for all of us to gather around. Once we were all in position, the imp cracked his knuckles and shook his hands in anticipation.

“Alright guys, repeat after me,” he cleared his throat as we waited with bated breath. “Day-o!”

Cupi and Libidine repeated Todd’s words, but I just sighed.

“Dayyyy-aaayyy-ooohhh!” Todd sang out.

“Dayyyy-aaayyy-ooohhh!” Cupi and Liby repeated.

“Todd,” I sighed, but there was no stopping him.

“Daylight come and me wanna go home,” the imp said as he began to shake his hips to the side like a belly dancer.

“Daylight come and me wanna go home,” the two women repeated as they began to gyrate their hips and raise their hands over their heads.

“Dude--” I started to say.

“Work all night on a drink of rum!” he said as he clapped his hands over his head. “Daylight come and me wanna go home.”

“Work all night on a drink of--”

“Bro!” I interrupted the girls. “Seriously?”

“Come on, you know it was funny!” He giggled. “But seriously, repeat after me this time, or it won’t work. For reals this time.”

Todd outstretched his tiny mitts for us to grab. The four of us formed a circle around the bottle and closed our eyes as we awaited the next step. Then the imp lowered his head and began to hum.

“Hac tum praetoria nave benedicat Caelo, quia est de mala destinarat purgandis mentibus praepositam,” he chanted, and the three of us echoed his words.

The hair inside the bottle rose up as if suspended by an invisible wire and glowed a bright bronze. A low hum echoed from within the vessel, and as the sound grew more intense, the glass began to vibrate, and I worried that it was going to shatter into a million pieces. The bottle itself began to shine brightly with a blue light. The hair fluttered down into the bottom of its glass case, and the room grew silent. Todd’s spell was completed.

“Now the question is how are we going to get Earl to fall for an enchanted bottle?” Cupiditas questioned.

“We won’t have to.” I corrected the blonde as I summoned a green flame and transported the vessel from the table into my hand. “I just need to know its location, and then I can bring it to him.”

“What about the mirror trap?” Cupiditas turned to Todd. “Did you find anything while we were--”

“Yes!” Todd could barely contain his excitement. “There’s two bathrooms down the hall, and they both have a wall mirror. Let’s go smash some shit!”

Libidine and I ventured into the first restroom while Todd and Cupi went after the mirror in the other. My friend was right, there was definitely a full wall mirror in here. But it had to be at least twenty years old, and who knows when it was last cleaned. The image of the succubus and I that stared back at us was distorted by cracks, smudges, and splatters of grime that I didn’t even want to consider identifying, so I walked over to a piece of baby blue tile that had come loose from the floor and picked it up.

“You might wanna stand back,” I warned Liby as I pulled back.

The succubus stepped to the far left, and I heaved my arm forward. The piece of tile smashed into the lower right part of the large mirror and sent pieces of reflective glass crashing toward the ground. Then I summoned my purple flames to catch the falling debris and lowered them safely to the ground.

“That looks like fun. May I?” the dark-haired woman asked.

“Be my guest!” I pulled loose another chunk of tile and tossed it into her hands.

Liby let out a squeal of glee as she caught the cold ceramic projectile. She, however, took a different approach to the destruction process. The succubus ran up to the mirror and repeatedly smashed the weaponized decor into the glass. Shards rained down as I tried my best to catch them with my flames. When she was finally satisfied, Libidine flipped her long hair in victory and strutted back to my position. We spent the next few minutes disassembling the mirror in the most fun ways possible, but we remained careful so that we didn’t render it useless.

“How’s it coming over there, guys?” I called out to the imp and the succubus in the other room.

“I’m having the time of my life,” Todd’s voice echoed back. “I even got the blonde one here to crack a smile at one of my jokes. It’s a Christmas miracle!”

When we had all finished, we adjourned to a small room that stood between the kitchen area of the store and the main show floor. I assumed that this was a breakroom of some sort because all that remained was a broken-down table and a few chairs that had legs missing. I summoned a green flame into my hands and looked deep down into my soul for anything that made me feel envious or disgusted.

It was actually harder than it was that first time back at the house. Everything was going smoothly. I had just had not one, but two, amazing sexual encounters with my succubi. Life was great for Jacob Ralston, but then I thought ahead to the coming battle. I thought about what would happen if I failed. If Earl took back the succubi to Hell with him. How he would subject them to tortures that I couldn’t even begin to fathom. It was pretty fucking disgusting. The green flame roared in my hands as the remnants of the two mirrors began to appear on the walls of the room.

“How do we get them to stick?” Liby asked.

“Is it possible to melt them into the walls?” I asked as I tried to keep my focus. “You know, use two powers at once?”

“Yes, it is possible,” Cupi mused. “As long as you can conjure up something deep inside you that is equally as passionate as whatever you’re thinking about for your other power.”

That was easy. While trying to keep the thoughts of my potential failure in my mind, I drifted back to the scene from earlier. Both of the succubi pressed against my body as they pleasured me. The sweet scent of Liby as our tongues explored each other’s mouths. Cupi’s short, soft hair in my hands.

The green flame remained in my left hand, but my right lit up with a vibrant red.

I raised my right arm into the air and tried to distribute the heat evenly across the shards. The plastic on the back began to dribble down the walls of the breakroom. I released both of my spells and held my breath hoping it would work. Todd and the succubi looked around in awe as they marveled at the house of a thousand tiny mirrors I had just created.

“Damn, I’m sexy,” Todd spoke to his own reflection as he tousled the small bit of wiry hair on his head.

The next few hours were spent with Todd reminding us of the various ways cultures have tried to capture demons and spirits through the years. We used a few sticks from outside and fabric from old clothes we found in the store to create some rough woven spirit traps. Todd had the succubi write some spells out on the walls in Latin, and I drew out a couple more traps and hid them under rugs, tables, and debris in hopes that Earl would unknowingly stumble onto them. Todd even found a bone from an animal carcass outside and turned it into an Inuit spirit trap.

When all was said and done, we must have set up fifty different traps taken from demonology from dozens of different cultures. Then all four of us collapsed onto the floor, exhausted. I glanced down at my watch. There was no time for rest right now because that silver-suited asshole would be here any minute.

“Hey guys,” I nodded to my group of friends. “It’s showtime.”

The four of us stood to our feet and gathered back to back inside of a Solomonic protection circle. Todd struck a fighting pose while Cupi and Liby both looked tense but brave. Meanwhile, I tried to play every single possible scenario through my head so that I could figure out what could go wrong or right during the fight. My thoughts were interrupted by a loud rapping on the door of the first floor.

“It’s open!” I yelled down the echoing corridor.

The next thing we knew, we heard a loud crash from below.

“See?” Todd mused. “He went with incineration. Earl chose wisely.”

As we heard the demon pimp’s footsteps reverberate through the desolate building, the smell of sulfur and burning wood shot through my nostrils and nearly made me vomit. The steps got closer and closer until the man with the slicked-back blonde hair was standing at the top of the staircase. His violet eyes stared us down as they simmered behind his fake smile.

“A protective circle? I’m a little hurt.” A sinister smile spread across Earl’s face. “But that’s fine. It’s going to be a lot more fun this way.”

Chapter 14

“You aren’t taking Cupi and Liby back, Earl,” I warned as I summoned red Hellfire into my hands.

“You had nearly three days to finish up your contract. Seventy-two entire hours.” The demon pimp ignored my words and instead focused his attention on Libidine and Cupiditas. “I saw the agreement myself. It’s not like he wanted you to do anything too strange or painful. Yet, here you are still thinking that there’s a way out of your duties.”

“We’re done with you, you torturous piece of shit!” Cupi spat at her former master.

“I always knew you had quite the tongue, Cupiditas. But I never knew it was so sharp.” His beady violet eyes darted over to the black-haired succubus. “How about you, Libidine? Are you ready to come home?”

“This is where I belong.” Libidine growled. “Jacob is ten times the master you are.”

“Okay, last chance girls.” Earl sighed. “Come with me quietly, and I might just make your friends’ deaths quick and painless.”

“You’ll have to come and get them, asshole,” I spat.

“Have it your way.” He grinned. “I hope you really don’t think your pathetic little protective circle is going to be effective against a demon of my strength.”

Earl snapped his fingers, and the entire outline of our protective circle caught fire. The demon pimp let out a sinister chuckle, and the floor began to swelter and glow beneath us. Seconds before we were engulfed by Earl’s Hellfire, I threw down a wall of purple below our feet. My shield held back the blast, but the four of us were sent flying into the air.

As they hung in the air, Cupiditas and Libidine’s backs erupted with a familiar purple flame, and their wings sprouted like springtime daisies popping out of the ground.

Todd tried to catch himself by curling into a ball as he acrobatically rolled across the room, but he still crashed into the wall of the shop comically.

Meanwhile, I used a green flame to transport myself safely back onto the ground behind the pimp.

Now we had this asshole surrounded.

Cupi unleashed a fury of Hellfire at the demon from above, and then Libidine swooped down and struck at him with the talon on her bat-like wing.

Earl let out a grunt from the impact of the attacks, but they didn’t seem to do much damage.

As he stumbled backward, I threw my hands down at the ground and cast a circle of green flame underneath the demon. His eyes widened in surprise as his lower half fell through the makeshift portal, and I closed my fist to collapse the emerald fire around Earl.

The demon pimp threw out his hands and cast a purple flame around the inner border of the circle, and the asshole grimaced as he struggled to keep the deadly spell from severing his spinal cord at the waist.

“You may have survived my crane kick last time, but now say hello to my little friends!” Todd shouted in a very bad Cuban accent as he fired a rapid succession of fireball blasts at the demon who stuck halfway out of the ground.

Earl just rolled his eyes at the imp’s effort. With one arm still outstretched to fight back the portal, Earl summoned silver fire with his free hand. Each of Todd’s projectiles caught fire and disintegrated before it came anywhere near reaching its target.

“Jacob!” Cupiditas called out as she and Liby plummeted toward her former master.

As the two succubi dive-bombed Earl, Liby’s hands lit up with yellow Hellfire and produced what looked to be a handful of small darts. She hurled the projectiles at Earl, and then Cupi used her powers to set them ablaze.

The pimp chuckled as he used his violet spell to widen my portal and duck out of the way of the succubi’s attack, his slimy black hair disappearing through the jade fire behind him, and her flaming darts stuck into the ground just as the portal closed.

“What kind of spell was that?” I questioned the dark-haired woman.

“Hatred,” she hissed. “An easy one to summon when Earl is around.”

“Where did your portal send him?” Cupi asked as she reoriented her body and landed at my side.

“Right where we wanted him!” I laughed triumphantly.

I pointed to the Key of Solomon that was scratched into the side of the front counter. The demon’s body stood there, stuck in a comical contorted pose with his locks of blonde hair standing on end above his head. His eyes continued to glow with the red Hellfire that fueled his passion.

“How do you like that?” I exclaimed as Todd gave me a high five in victory.

“Your enthusiasm is admirable, Mr. Ralston,” Earl said through gritted teeth, “but your cockiness is beyond aggravating.”

Earl’s body began to tremble, and a black flame emerged from his eyes and started to travel down his face, eventually encasing his entire body.

The fire manifested itself into a slimy black goo that dripped off Earl’s body downward like beads of sweat. The droplets fell onto the floor and melted the hardwood with a hiss. Acid.

We weren’t going to wait for this asshole to slither his way out of this one. Todd tried to summon his fire once more while Cupiditas made a swishing motion with her arms and then hurled a massive blue flame at Earl. It smacked into the demon pimp and froze him in his place.

“Freezing fire!” the blonde succubus shouted.

The demon may have been unable to move, but the slimy material continued to ooze out of every pore on the pimp’s body. Earl’s frozen figure began to take a few shallow, restricted breaths before he tensed his body and sent the deadly goo spraying in every direction.

“Heads up!” I yelled as I summoned a flame shield over my friends and me.

The acidic black substance sizzled as it evaporated on the purple flames. Flecks of the goo were also flung onto the drawing of Solomon’s Key and melted it in enough places to break the circle. The demon’s body fell onto the ground with a thud, and he stood back up as he brushed the dust off his suit.

“Do you really think you’re the first person to try to trap me in the Key of Solomon?” he mused as he fixed his hair. “That’s one of the oldest tricks in the book. And a freezing spell? Please.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?” I quipped.

He was still trying to play the “hard ass” card, but I could tell that Earl was starting to get tired. The shoulders of his gray suit jacket had started to move up and down with each winded breath he took. The pimp straightened his posture and shook his head back and forth.

“You were much more prepared for our battle than I thought, Mr. Ralston,” Earl hissed as he held out his left arm. “But I’m through playing around.”

As I watched, Earl’s red Hellfire magic spread around his body like a blanket. Then one of his left wrist bones tore through his skin and spilled a near-black crimson blood onto the hardwood floor as it protruded. The demon-pimp reached over with his right hand to the bone on his left wrist, broke it off as casually as someone would yank a piece of celery out of the bunch, and then held it out. Out of the tip of the wet bone shot a long, thin beam of red fire that hung limply down to the floor.

It was some sort of crazy-ass fire whip.

Earl began to jog toward our position as he dragged the fiery whip behind him, burning a sliver of a path through the floor as he ran. He snapped the whip forward, but its trajectory was caught in the air by another of Cupi’s freezing spells.

At the same time, Libidine threw out her hand toward a large oak cabinet across the room and set it ablaze in emerald flame, and it rose up into the air as it radiated jade light. The black haired succubus pulled her arm back toward her chest, and the cabinet was sent flying across the room toward the pimp.

Earl started to mount a counter-spell, but Todd scurried up to his position and leapt into the air. I created a series of purple walls like a staircase to help the imp climb, and when he reached the ceiling of the room, he dove onto Earl and slashed the fucker across his face with his claws.

At half-second after my imp pal sliced open Earl’s face, Cupi released her freezing magic, and Liby’s cabinet hit the pimp. All three of the attacks combined to knock Earl on his ass under a heap of heavy wood, and then I threw another blast of my own red Hellfire into the pile for good measure.

“Did we get him?” Todd asked as he rolled across the floor and sprang to his feet next to me.

“No,” I heard Earl laugh, and then the remnants of the cabinet glowed silver as it slowly disintegrated into thin air.

The pimp emerged from the rubble, cracked his neck, shook  any rubble off his suit that remained, and then readied his whip. Even though he had just told us “no” the demon-asshole Earl was full-on panting now, and the slimy shimmer that was normally in his eyes had now disappeared.

Before I could hit him again with my magic, Earl lashed out with his weapon. The magic flame wrapped around Cupiditas’ arm before any of us could throw up a protective spell, and the blonde screamed as her forearm sizzled with the power of his weapon.

“Don’t hurt my woman!” I screamed out as I channeled a blast of the white flame toward the pimp.

Earl released his grip on the blonde succubus and tried to throw up a protective shield, but my magical blast was almost as bright red as the sun, and it hit his purple fire shield and then completely encircled the pimp.

For half a moment, I couldn’t see anything of Earl. I could only see the nova of fire burning him, and feel pain at the sides of my forehead. My vision was spinning, and I turned to look at Cupi’s arm as her old boss roasted.

“Are you oka--” I started to ask, but the two women and my friend were staring at me with their mouths open.

“Jacob,” Liby started. “You have--”

“Horns!” Cupi finished as she pointed at my forehead.

“Huh?” I asked as I reached up to my head. Sure enough I felt something solid coming out of my forehead. Two somethings actually, but I really didn’t have time to worry about it right now, since my blast of ultra-hot Hellfire was starting to wear off, and I had to make sure that Earl was dead.

“Okay, that really fucking hurt,” Earl wheezed as the heat from my fireball faded. The ends of his hair, were now unkept and completely singed off, and half of his suit was burned off. The pimp still held the whip in his hand, but its flames were burning weaker and weaker by the second. Now was our chance.

“Hold him so I can use the bottle!” I commanded the succubi.

“I’ll take his hands!” Libidine threw a ring of purple fire at Earl, and it snagged his left wrist and rooted itself in the air like a ghostly manacle.

“This will not hold me,” he growled as he raised his whip carrying right hand to cut into the purple fire.

Cupiditas muttered some words in Latin and then threw a ball of purple flames at the pimp’s feet before he could cut himself free. Earl was snared in two places now, but I knew his bonds weren’t going to last forever, so I used my telekinetic magic to throw the witch bottle at Earl.

And my aim was perfect.

Earl had been too busy focusing on his bindings, and he didn’t expect me to throw a simple-looking glass bottle at him. The trap smacked the demon-pimp-asshole right in the chest, and then the magic flowed out of the neck like fog.

Seconds after making contact with its target, the enchanted vessel levitated into the air and released a series of ectoplasmic silver strings out of its neck. The wires wrapped themselves around Earl’s wrists, ankles, and neck, and the man in the suit let out a gasp as he struggled for air.

“I’ve had just about enough of your games, Mr. Ralston,” the pimp panted, but the fear was now clear in his voice.

Then the smoky ghost-wires began to tighten around him.

Earl let out a frantic scream as the pungent smell of sulfur grew in the abandoned building. Streams of red Hellfire traveled up the strings and ignited the bottle in a glow of crimson. It burned brightly for a moment, shattered into oblivion, and then the enchanted hair inside it went up in flames.

“Horns or not, we’re going to end this now,” he panted and lashed out with the whip.

“Plan C!” I barked to my friends as I dodged the attack.

All four of us unleashed on Earl. Cupi hurled fireballs at the man while Libidine used her telekinetic fire to pick up random objects to toss at him. Meanwhile, Todd was giggling maniacally as he threw tiny attacks of Hellfire at the pimp. The demon weakly tried to disintegrate Todd’s and Libidine’s projectiles while simultaneously dodging Cupi’s attacks, but the fight had taken its toll on him. Despite his best efforts, a good number of our shots connected with their mark, further injuring the pimp. Unfortunately, he was still strong enough that they didn’t do much damage. Instead they just tore holes into his already tattered suit and made the demon angrier.

I thought back to my connection with the succubi, clapped my hands together, and summoned up a white fireball that had to have been at least two feet in diameter. I released the attack on the demon pimp, and it caught him off guard. His body erupted in flames again, and he was tossed backward directly into the room full of mirrors we had created.

“Let’s finish him,” I said as we all stepped into the mirrored room.

Earl hadn’t taken much damage from the attack, but his suit was now tattered beyond repair. The demon pimp cautiously stood up to face us, but as he did so he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and froze.

“What is this? What are these mirrors? Is this what I look like?” He looked around at his reflection curiously, eyes shining with amazement.

“I knew it,” Todd chuckled as he watched Earl oogle at his reflection. “He’s totally gay for himself.”

“I am damn good looking, aren’t I?” Earl asked as he started to laugh. It started off as a mild chuckle, but then grew into a full guttural cackle.

“Gaaaaaayyy,” Todd called out.

“This mirror trap intensifies anything inside of it, Earl.” I explained to the demon pimp. “That includes your own ego.”

Earl reached out and touched his own reflection as he completely ignored my words.

“Unfortunately for you, that list also includes our magic.” I turned to my friends and pointed at the demon in the room. “Light him up!”

We were all exhausted from the drawn-out battle, and it was starting to show. There was only going to be one shot at ending this fucker, so we had to make it count.

I reached down into the depths of my mind and conjured up images of red-hot passion. The girls in the hotel room. The amazing night the three of us had spent together out in the desert. The extraction process for the witch bottle. With each new thought, I could feel the simmering heat of my flames grow stronger and stronger until my entire body was encased by the glow of Hellfire. My hands shot forward in unison and unleashed a massive blast of fire into the room.

I saw a rush of red fireballs of various sizes as they hurled past my left. Each of our projectiles connected with Earl, and his body was set ablaze from the intense Hellfire that struck him.

At the same time, Libidine’s daggers came from my right and tore through the fiery form of the demon. Earl’s dark blood sprayed across the back of the room, but he still stood.

All around the room, mirrors slid down the wall slowly. A couple of them fell off and shattered across the floor.

“We’re melting the mirrors!” Cupiditas yelled out in fear.

“Then we’ll just have to keep going,” I demanded. “He can’t take much more of this!”

The four of us continued to blast the demon for a solid minute. With each new attack, the light around Earl’s body grew more intense, and the heat inside the room sweltered. Finally, an inhuman scream filled our ears, and a bright purple light shot up through the roof and into the Vegas sky like a beacon.

The succubi, Todd, and I all halted our assault and fell to the ground, exhausted.

“Did we kill that gaylord?” Todd wheezed.

“I think so,” Cupiditas said through tired breaths. “I don’t sense his presence anymore.”

I looked over to the spot in which the demon pimp had stood, but all that remained of the bastard was a pile of ashes.

“We got him,” I sighed as I laid back on the ground.

“I totally knew that trap was gonna work,” Todd chuckled. “Never doubted it for even a second.”

Chapter 15

It still felt like I was dreaming. We had just destroyed the man who wanted to take my women away, and now they were free. The three of us could do whatever the hell we wanted for the rest of our lives. And now, with my newfound luck and Vegas winnings, it was sure to be a life full of luxury, relaxation, and sex. It was the dawn of a new day as well as the beginning of our new lives together.

Libidine and Cupiditas stirred briefly as I got out of bed, but then they wrapped their sleepy arms around each other and dozed back off. I couldn’t help but admire the two succubi as they slept. They were so peaceful, and now they were mine. There was nothing that was going to get in our way.

The first thing I did when I woke up in our swanky hotel room the next morning was to call up room service and order a bottle of their finest, most expensive champagne. My stomach growled, and I briefly considered ordering breakfast, but then I figured that the girls and Todd would want to hit up the buffet again. Now, we could afford to eat there every single day if we wanted to.

Ordering the champagne was a gesture that made me about five-hundred dollars poorer, but we’d won so much at the casino yesterday that the cost left little more than a dent in my overall funding.

My peaceful thoughts were interrupted by the buzzsaw-like sound of Todd’s snoring coming from across the room as he laid in his bed sprawled out like a demonic spider monkey. The dreadful sounds were only interrupted when he would occasionally talk in his sleep. He would mutter away as he bargained with the drug dealer in his dreams over prices or whistle at whatever imaginary woman he saw when his eyes were closed.

Our room’s K-cup machine made a wet churning sound as it squirted out a cup of black roast Colombian into my cup. Still in my robe, I walked over to the large window in the lounge area of our suite, opened it, and admired the city from above. The dark roast was indescribably satisfying as it touched my lips, and the sounds of the Las Vegas morning boomed through my eardrums.

“So, what’s the plan now, boss?” a disembodied voice came from my side.

The imp had taken me by surprise, and I spat out my coffee. The brown liquid sprayed across the screen of the open window and plummeted hundreds of feet down to the pavement below. I turned to shoot Todd a glare, but I couldn’t see where he was. Instead, I just heard the sound of his voice laughing mischievously through the thin Nevada air. Then the imp reappeared beside me with the twiddling fingers of jazz hands.

“We have got to work on that.” I joined in with his laughter. “Anyone who happens to be walking down below just got a coffee shower!”

“People take worse kinds of showers in this city all the time.” Todd just shrugged. “But seriously, what are our plans now that the purple-eyed fucker is dead?”

“Well, my friend,” I sat down on the couch and kicked up my feet, “the answer is whatever the fuck we want to do! We don’t have to worry about money or a job for a while. If we wanted to pick up and go to Europe for the week, we could!”

“I think I would die if we went to Amsterdam. That’s always been my biggest goal in life.” Todd’s eyes lit up at the thought.

“Isn’t that every stoner’s dream?” I laughed.

“We prefer the term Herbal Enthusiasts, thank you,” the imp replied with a smirk.

I heard the two succubi approach behind me, and I turned happily to meet them. I nearly spat out my coffee again when I saw that the beautiful women hadn’t bothered to put anything on after waking up. Libidine’s long black hair hung down her body and barely covered her perky nipples. Even then, it wasn’t long enough to cover up the slit between her legs. Cupi, on the other hand, made no such effort to cover herself up. They went to sit down on the couch beside me, but Todd flailed his arms in front of himself to get them to stop.

“Easy there, girls!” he exclaimed. “They definitely don’t clean those things between guests. You don’t want to even think about what kind of bacteria is festering on that fabric.”

“Your rules here on Earth Realm are exhausting,” Libidine sighed.

“Speaking of exhaustion.” Todd exhaled. “I don’t think I want to do anything but sit around all day. Slaying a demon really takes it out of you.”

“What about you, girls?” I turned to the succubi. “Do you want to go hit up the breakfast buffet, or are you okay with staying here and hanging around for a while?”

“I think I’m with Todd on this one.” The blonde woman shrugged. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

“Fine by me.” I nodded. “We’ve already got a bottle of champagne on the way, so I’ll just call back and add some food to our order.”

“You’d better.” Todd crossed his arms and giggled. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, bro.”

“Relax,” I chuckled. “We’re all going to eat like kings this morning. We’ve earned it.”

I walked over to the dining area of the suite, picked up the complimentary landline, and then dialed the number for room service.

“Excalibur room service,” the woman’s voice on the other side happily answered. “How may we serve you?”

“Hello, I’d like to add some food to our recent order,” I explained. “Breakfast items, if you guys are still serving them.”

“Of course! What would you like?” The bubbly voice asked.

“Bro!” Todd called out. “Get me bacon. Lots and loooots of bacon.”

“Alright, we’ll take six orders of your highest-quality bacon,” I told the voice on the other side.

“And hash browns,” Todd added.

“And hash browns,” I repeated. “We’ll also take four orders of Belgian waffles, some scrambled eggs, and--”

“French toast is a must, bro,” the imp interrupted.

“And some french toast,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “I think that will complete our order.”

“Wait! Don’t forget the pancakes,” Todd reminded me.

“Okay, can I get two stacks of pancakes,” I asked.

“Of course,” the woman replied.

“Oh, and get some berries too,” Todd asked. “Like the red and blue ones.”

“Can I get some strawberries and blueberries too,” I asked.

“Do they have Grapenuts?” Todd asked. “I could totally go for some Grapenuts.”

“Uhh, do you have Grape--”

“Yes, sir,” she interrupted me. “I’ll get you some Grapenuts too. With milk.”

“What about yogurt?” Todd asked. “I think we could totally go for some yogurt.”

“And uhhh… some yogurt,” I asked.

“Did you forget about sausage?” Todd asked as he raised a disbelieving impish eyebrow.

“Can I have some sausage?” I asked.

“Yes you can,” she replied.

“And a pepperoni pizza,” Todd said with a note of finality to his voice.

“And ummm, do you have pepperoni pizza?” I asked the women.

“Yes--”

“Cold,” Todd said. “You can’t have pizza for breakfast unless it’s cold.”

“Can you bring it up cold?” I asked.

“Sir, this is the Excalibur,” she answered proudly. “We can get you any food you want.”

“Okay,” I said. “Todd, is that it?”

“Hummm,” my friend said as he raised his eyes to the ceiling and tapped his chin. “Yes. That should be enough until lunch time.”

“We are good,” I told the woman on the phone.

“Very well, sir!” the voice on the other line confirmed. “We’ll get that up to you as soon as possible.”

“Thank you very much,” I said, and then I hung up the phone with a plastic clunk, and then walked back over to my friends.

“This morning, my friends, we feast!” Todd snickered as he rubbed his hands together.

“If our luck keeps up like it has been, we’ll be able to feast every single day,” I laughed as I grabbed the TV remote. “Is there something good on right now? We don’t have cable at home.”

“Bro, you don’t know cable very well,” the imp laughed. “How about Bigfoot Files? There’s a marathon going on today on the Paranormal Channel.”

“Uh--” I started.

“Is there anything about the occult?” Cupiditas perked up. “I love to see what mortals think of us and our rituals.”

“You just like to point out when they’re wrong,” Liby chuckled.

“Well, maybe they should get their facts straight.” Cupi shrugged.

We scrolled for what felt like forever until we found some schlocky documentary called Secrets of Demonology: Revealed.

“I dunno…” I scratched my head. “Haven’t we had enough of this stuff for a lifetime?”

“Please?” Libidine looked up at me with her big doe eyes.

“Fine.” I caved to the dark-haired woman’s beautiful smile. “But only because you asked so nicely.”

A few minutes after the show had begun, there was a knock at the door. I waltzed over and flung it open. I was greeted by a man in a nice vest and dress pants standing beside a large three-tier room service cart with linen white tablecloths.

“For Mr. Pearson, correct?” he asked.

“That’s not how blood rituals work!” We both heard Cupi’s voice angrily scream from the other room. “You have to sever the goat’s head completely or else there’s not enough that comes out!”

I sprouted an awkward grimace at the room service attendant, who didn’t even acknowledge the succubus’ comment. The man simply pushed the cart into our kitchen and then stood patiently with his arms behind his back as he awaited his tip.

As I extracted my wallet from my back pocket, I looked up in horror to see Todd flying through the air, the two succubi giggling as they ran across the suite in the same direction.

Slowly, I turned my head to see if the server was panicking or was getting ready to attack the Hellspawn in our room. He was still stone cold, with his gloved white hand extended to accept his tip. I pulled out a hundred-dollar bill and slapped it down into his hand delicately.

“Sorry about--” I started to say.

“Sir, this is Las Vegas,” he noted. “This is far from the weirdest thing I’ve seen in this resort. Enjoy your food!”

With that, the man shuffled off down the hall, and I closed the door. When I came back to the main area of the suite, I found Todd and the succubi sitting on the bed looking through one of Todd’s books. The imp ran his finger across the page as he read something about the scope of blood rituals. Libidine curiously followed the imp’s every word, while Cupi looked completely unamused.

“What exactly is going on here?” I asked as I started to remove the foil and the wire caging on the top of the champagne bottle.

“These two had a friendly disagreement about the nature of blood rituals, so we are trying to find the right answer in one of Todd’s books,” Libidine explained.

“See? It says right here that those kinds of blood rituals only work if you use the blood of a virgin.” Todd held up the book for Cupi to read.

“I don’t care what you read in a mortal book,” the blonde succubus laughed. “I’ve been present for a ritual such as that one before, and it worked just fine. Trust me, the person we sacrificed most certainly wasn’t a virgin. Not even by a long shot.”

“It says in the book and on the documentary.” Todd shrugged.

“I was there, Todd!” Cupiditas couldn’t contain her howling laughter at the imp’s stubbornness.

“Do we want to stand around and waste all day arguing about blood rituals, or do we want to celebrate your freedom?” I said as I removed the lid from the silver platter.

The smell of the delicious food hit Todd’s nostrils, and he began to salivate. “Definitely celebrate.”

As I looked down at the food, I couldn’t help but to start salivating as well.

Staring me back in the face was a heaping plate full of golden waffles, each one fluffy to the touch and smothered with maple syrup. Next to the platter sat an entire dish of whipped butter topping. There must have been enough there to cover all the waffles five times over.

Next, I removed the lid off the platter with our bacon. Every single morsel of the meat was cooked to perfection. Not too crispy, but not too soft. I picked up a slice and put it towards my lips. The bacon crunched under my teeth, and my mouth was overtaken by a mixture of applewood flavor and grease.

“Bro, don’t you dare hog all the bacon!” Todd rushed over and scooped an entire platter of the food into his arms.

The imp ran back towards the couch and then plopped the greasy food down onto a leather ottoman in front of him.

Then there were the hash browns and the eggs. We hadn’t ordered as much of these as we had the other items, so these two dishes were combined into a singular platter. The aroma of the decadent and fluffy eggs intertwining with the potatoey scent of the golden-crisp hash browns was enough to push me over the edge.

There was a full box of Grapenuts and a pitcher of milk, a whole tray of breakfast sausage, a bowl of berries, pancakes that looked light and fluffy, sugar sprinkled French toast, yogurt, and the pièce de résistance: The cold pepperoni pizza.

It was every stoner’s dream.

“Grab a plate and dig in!” I exclaimed through a mouthful of drool.

Cupiditas picked up a piece of bacon and crushed it in her palm. “This flesh is weak.”

“Exactly,” I explained. “That’s what makes it so good. The last thing you want is rubbery bacon.”

Libidine didn’t share her sister’s sentiments. She picked up a handful of bacon and shoved it into her mouth happily. The dark-haired succubus crunched them around for a few seconds, swallowed, and rolled her eyes back in her head.

“It tastes almost as good as Jacob’s meat, Cupi.” Libidine giggled.

The fit succubi shoveled four pieces into her mouth at once. Cupiditas let the flavor wash over her before she gulped down her meal. She looked at me in satisfaction.

“It gives him a run for his money, but I think I still prefer Jacob.” She winked.

“Welp, that’s it.” Todd shook his head back and forth in dismay. “I’m never going to be able to eat bacon again, guys. Thanks for that.”

There was a lot less variety in our food options this time, but our meal was easily just as good as the one we had at the buffet. By the time we had finished gobbling down the piles of syrupy and salty breakfast foods, I felt like I was in a food coma.

Todd laid on the couch and dabbed drops of grease off his chin with his finger. His belly was visibly larger now, and he patted it as if he was pregnant.

“It’s a food baby, Jacob,” he joked. “I think you might be the father.”

“How do you humans eat this amazing food each and every day?” Libidine questioned as she swirled her finger around her empty plate.

“Most people don’t.” I shrugged. “But if my current wave of good fortune continues, I’m going to make sure my beautiful girlfriends and my best bud are treated to this kind of stuff every single day!”

“We can’t forget the champagne,” Cupiditas purred. “I may be gorged, but I can always make room for alcohol.”

“How could I forget the champagne?” I smacked myself on the forehead playfully.

I walked over to the bucket containing the ice and bottle. Then I grabbed a knife from the knife block that was sitting on the kitchen counter. With my left hand, I held out the bottle of expensive champagne at an angle and aimed it away from any breakables in the vicinity. Then, with my right, I placed the blade on the basin at a forty-five-degree angle.

I’d only ever seen this in the movies before, but it looked like too much fun to not try myself.

With a sweep of my hand, I ran the blade up to the top of the champagne bottle. The cork made a loud popping sound and rocketed through the air before landing safely on the bed across the room. Bubbly white liquid spouted out of the neck onto the floor as I walked over to grab a few glasses for us.

“Why does that scene look so familiar?” Libidine winked playfully.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Liby,” Cupi said with a sly smile. “When it happens to us, it doesn’t end up on the floor. Jacob found that out in the abandoned building.”

“By the way, you guys still owe me a second attempt at making the Witch’s Bottle,” I reminded them as I poured out four equal glasses of the bubbly drink.

“Maybe after a few drinks,” Cupi purred as she grabbed her crystal goblet. “I’m finding that I quite like this Earth beverage.”

“Just don’t get too carried away,” I laughed as I poured us each a glass of the champagne. “Bottoms up!”

The four of us clinked our glasses together and then threw them back along with our heads. The champagne fluttered down my throat as it activated every single pleasure sensor in my brain. This stuff was supposedly the best the resort had, and it certainly tasted like it. Even though it was supposed to be a bubbly drink, it went down so smooth that I barely felt the carbonation. I glanced at my three friends who all now wore similar looks of satisfaction on their faces.

“More?” I asked as I held out the bottle.

“More!” Libidine smiled.

We spent the next few minutes gulping down the rest of the bottle as we chatted and played around in the luxury suite. Though the alcohol content was fairly low, it was still enough to make us all feel nice, warm, and happy.

Todd threw on some music, and the four of us danced to the beat of each new song. After a few minutes, we heard a rap on the door.

“That’s funny,” I scratched my head as Cupi and Liby continued to dance. “They must have forgotten part of our order.”

“I’ll get it!” Libidine yelled as she tossed on a robe and scrambled across the room toward the door.

“Make sure you give him a good tip!” I called after the dark-haired vixen as she walked away. “He’s going to have to put up with quite al--”

My words were cut off by the sound of a burst of flame. Libidine’s unconscious body went flying past our position engulfed in red Hellfire, smashed through the window, and plummeted out of view.

“Cupiditas!” I shouted as I spun toward the front door. “Get Liby!”

“Got it!” She bounded toward broken glass as a burst of purple flames brought forth her dark angel wings. When she reached the opening, she threw down her left hand and hoisted her perfect naked body over without losing an ounce of momentum.

“Time to get horny, Jacob!” Todd exclaimed as we both turned to face our new assailant.

The pulse in my temple wasn’t as strong this time, which led me to believe that the horns were now just becoming second nature. I didn’t even have to search for my emotions very deeply. Whoever this fucker was, he hurt my Libidine. And for that, he was going to burn. My entire body became encased in the shimmering white of the Hellfire while Todd tried his best to summon his own. Instead, two snowball sized flames appeared in his hands.

At least he was trying.

Through the remains of our hotel door stepped an absolute monster of a man. He stood over six feet and looked nearly as wide as he was tall. The dude could have been a contestant for Mr. Universe, because every muscle on his body was hulking through his clothes. His hair was black and thin, resting atop his head messily like a bird’s nest. This guy was dressed like he was ripped straight from a 2000s action movie. A shiny black leather trench coat hung down past the knees on his dark combat pants. All of his facial features were broad, and a shiny gold ring dangled from his septum.

“Good evening, Mr. Ralston.” The massive man nodded coldly at Todd and me. “The name’s Gallu. I come bearin’ a message from one of our… mutual associates.”

“Dude, I don’t give a fuck who you are,” I snapped. “You hurt Libidine!”

I conjured a large ball of flame from the Hellfire around me and hurled it at Gallu.

The mountain of a man scoffed at our efforts and raised his left hand. Black flames erupted from his palm, and my fireball froze in its place. Gallu closed his eyes for a moment to focus, and the room was filled with a low hum.

Slowly, the projectile turned in the air. Gallu opened his eyes rapidly, and the deadly attacks we had sent his way flew back towards the imp and me.

I tossed up a wall of purple flame to protect ourselves from the deadly barrage, and the flame scattered in multiple directions and singed the ceiling and floor of the suite.

“I’m all for mindless violence an’ all that, but don’t make a fool of yerself. Just die quickly, and we can go ‘bout our day.” Gallu shook his head as he summoned a large Hellfire flame into his hands.

“Fuck off,” I spat. “I killed Earl. I can sure as fuck find a way to kill you!”

“Spunky one, aren’t you?” the large man chuckled.

“Chunky one, aren’t you?” Todd snickered back.

That comment must have gotten under Gallu’s skin because his smile quickly faded, and his eyes narrowed. The giant assassin growled as he unleashed his fiery fury toward me.

I quickly cast a spell of green in front of the attack, and it passed harmlessly through the portal and out into the morning sky outside.

“Ohhh, I have a good nickname for you!” Todd cackled. “The Massive Assassin!”

“I knew you were annoyin’, but Azazel didn’t warn me you were a comedian!” he sneered.

“You call that annoying?!” Todd laughed as his hands started to glow with Hellfire. “You haven’t even heard any of my ‘your momma so fat jokes!’”

“Your momma so--” the big man started to ask, but Todd and I both let loose our red fireballs before he could finish.

The blast struck the man directly in the face, and Gallu’s head was thrown backward. His massive frame smashed into the ground, but there was no blood anywhere to be seen.

“Did we whack him?” Todd asked.

Almost in response to the imp’s question, muffled laughter began to arise from the floor. As Gallu pulled himself up from the ground, I heard the familiar flutter of Cupiditas’ wings behind us. The fit, naked blonde came to my side and summoned Hellfire into her hands.

“That hurt, you little fuckers!” Gallu growled, but then he let a smile stretch across his face as he recognized the succubus beside me. “Long time, no see, eh, Cupi?”

“Gallu,” the blonde nodded sourly.

“Yer a lucky guy, Mr. Ralston!” the beastly man sneered. “Cupi here is one of the fiercest warriors of all the Realms, but so am I. In fact, I ain’t ever lost a close-quarters battle before, and I don’t plan on it startin’ today.”

“I always hate this part,” Cupi quipped as she took a fighting stance.

“What part?” I questioned in confusion.

Gallu’s broad features began to contort on his face. He let out a scream of pain as his jaw and snout began to elongate and horns began to sprout from the sides of his head. These horns didn’t look like mine or Todd’s. They formed a long, C shape like those of a bull. Black cloven hooves ripped through Gallu’s combat boots and clomped onto the floor. The monstrous man was now a full-on monster. The half-man, half-bull let out a bellow as his bloodshot red eyes met with mine.

“Time to go to Hell, Mr. Ralston,” he roared.

Chapter 16

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I yelled as the massive bull creature stomped his feet onto the ground and prepared to charge.

Gallu huffed again as he propelled himself in our direction. I grabbed Todd and rolled out of the way while Cupi leapt upwards, over the creature’s massive bulk, but the big demon didn’t seem to notice we had dodged him, and his hooves tore through the carpet, and his horns impaled our couch.

Gallu skidded to a stop in the living room and swung his head around with our couch still hanging from his horns. It seemed like he couldn’t see us, and Cupiditas used the opportunity to launch a handful of baseball-sized fireballs toward the monster

Then Gallu raised his hands to block them.

“Not this time, asshole!” I threw up a portal of green flame in the path of the shimmering red fire blasts and transported them to the position behind Gallu.

The big ugly asshole didn’t expect the attacks to hit him from behind. The flurry crashed into the bull-man’s back, setting his leather jacket and the couch ablaze before forcing him down to his knees. Then the couch finally tore free of his horns, and Todd, Cupi, and I vaulted over it as it rolled past us, broke the glass windows behind us, and then tumbled to the Las Vegas streets below.

That might have been the least of our problems though, since the flaming couch had caught all the window curtains on fire when it rolled out the window, and I guessed we only had half a minute before the fire alarms went off.

And maybe only a minute or two until the whole room caught on fire.

“Flaming cow poo!” Todd waved his hand across his nose to mock the demon. “And I thought methane was bad.”

The monstrous beast roared and raised his furry hands above his head. A decent-sized portion of the roof above us caught fire with purple. Gallu brought his fists downward with an evil smile, and the enchanted portion of the ceiling collapsed.

All I could do was to throw up a cast of green Hellfire before the rubble buried us. The pieces were caught in midair and then instantly teleported on top of Gallu’s position. The debris fell, but it just bounced off the bull-man as if it was made of styrofoam.

The three of us barely had a chance to reorient ourselves before we had to roll out of the way of Gallu’s charge. Instead of skewering us on his massive horns, the beast simply crashed into the kitchen behind us. Chunks of the marble top counter and splinters from the cabinets shot through the air, upheaved by the demon’s attack.

Another round of fireballs were flung at the dazed beast. The instant Cupi’s and Todd’s Hellfire collided with Gallu, I shot up a barrier of purple flames all around his body. The shield prevented the bull-beast from dodging the attack and helped hold in the intensity of my friends’ red firepower.

Muffled bellows of pain rang out from the violet prison as the Hellfire seemed to burn Gallu alive.

The bull-man was finally able to wrestle his way out of my shield using his pure strength. The demon was still alive, but he was in rough shape. His nose ring glowed red-hot, and his septum let off the sound of flesh sizzling. Most of the fur on his body now fell off in clumps of matted nests, and the rancor of burned hair filled the suite. Gallu stumbled to his feet and panted.

“I gotta say,” he huffed through strained breaths. “It’s interestin’ to be on the other side of your wrath, Cupi. Definitely worthy all the hype.”

“Just another name to add to my list,” she said with a dark chuckle.

“And you, Mr. Ralston.” He pointed at me with a burnt finger. “What kinda man are you? You hide behind your succubi and your imp. If we was goin’ one-on-one, I’d crush your bones into dust beneath my hooves!”

“Bro, just accept that you’re losing,” Todd snickered. “No need to be a pussy about it.”

Gallu thrust out his hand and sent forth a beam of black flame. I fired off another round of Hellfire in retaliation, but the dark fire shot past me, engulfed Todd, and lifted him into the air.

The imp’s eyes bulged in surprise as he grasped at his throat for breath.

From my left, Cupiditas darted through the air on her black feathery wings and threw herself feet first into Gallu. The demon had been able to use his free hand to deflect my projectiles, but the blonde succubi’s attack took him by surprise. The monstrous man grunted as he stumbled backwards and released his spell on Todd.

My emerald flame caught the unconscious imp before he hit the ground, and I laid him down gently out of the way of the battle. Then I turned back towards the main area of the suite and saw that Cupi and Gallu were still locked in battle. Cupiditas was using her wings to block the bull-man’s punches like a prize fighter, and Gallu was panting like he was about out of breath. The entire living area of the suite was now on fire, but it didn’t seem to bother either of the demons.

We didn’t have much time left.

I used my green magic to pick up the television and launch it at Gallu. The appliance slammed into the beast’s left shoulder and sent him spinning around helplessly. Before he could catch himself, Cupiditas froze his right arm in midair. The bull’s shoulder twisted unnaturally as his massive body kept spinning, and he let out a cry of pain.

“You broke my arm, you bitch!” he roared as he blasted the athletic woman with a giant ball of Hellfire of his own.

Cupiditas’ body was launched backward through the wall of the bedroom suite.

Shit.

My mind whirled as I tried to figure out what to do next. Todd was down, Liby was down, and I didn’t know if Cupi was going to stand up from getting knocked through that wall.

She might even be dead.

The thought enraged me, and I realized that I hadn’t been this angry since yesterday when I destroyed that whip wielding asshole Earl.

Then I got an idea.

I sprinted over to the counter, grabbed a butcher knife, and then used my Hellfire magic to enchant it like Earl had done with his whip. The blade lit up with red flames that sizzled in the air. At the same time, the shrill wail of the Excalibur’s fire alarms echoed through the surrounding building.

Without even hesitating, I charged at Gallu and unleashed everything I had. I tossed up a few red fireballs and then encased them with emerald magic so that they struck unpredictably all around the massive man’s body.

The fucker wasn’t able to block any of them, and he shrieked in pain as each red-hot ball of fire burned his flesh.

I held the enchanted knife in my right hand and went in for the killing blow. My left hand glowed with the green flame as I angled it at the floor beneath Gallu’s hooves. I closed my fist, and the patch of tile under his feet disappeared.

The beast’s eyes widened as his entire lower body fell through the new hole in the floor. He weakly caught himself on the space around the opening, but it was too late for this asshole.

Gallu raised a hand feebly to try to stop my assault, but the blade was already hurling toward his head at full velocity, and I plunged it into the beast’s skull with a wet thud.

The demon’s eyes rolled back in his head, and his tongue fell out of his snout. One blow would have probably done the trick, but I wasn’t going to risk it, so I ripped the hilt out of Gallu’s skull with a spray of gore and repeatedly stabbed at his head until his brain spilled out onto the floor.

“Bro…” I heard Todd call out from the spot he’d been laying. “That was some kinky shit, bro. I’ve never been choked before.”

“Jokes? Now?” I asked as I rushed over, jumped through the hole in the wall, into the bedroom suite, and found Cupiditas laid unconscious on the floor.

The blonde woman’s robe was completely burnt off from Gallu’s attack, and her naked body looked so vulnerable. I didn’t have time to check her pulse, so I picked up the succubus’ body and tossed her over my other shoulder. Then I returned to the main suite room and put Libidine’s still-unconscious body over my other shoulder. The Jacob from three days ago wouldn’t have been able to lift both women as easily as I was, but I was at one thousand percent adrenaline right now, and they both seemed to weigh as much as blankets.

“How are we gonna get out of here?” I heard Todd’s panicked voice as I turned towards the front door.

“This whole place is going up like dry tinder,” I yelled back. “I don’t even think the fire escape is safe at this point.”

“Jakey, I think this might be it for us,” Todd said as we turned toward the flaming kitchen. The heat was almost too much to bear, and I figured we only had a handful of seconds left before we roasted to death.

“Then there’s only one way out.” I looked over at the broken window across the room and nodded. “Hop on my back.”

“Uh-- You can’t fly, bro.” He protested.

“I’ll get us down there. Just trust me,” I promised.

“What the Hell?” He shrugged as he hopped up on me piggy-back style. “You’ve gotten us this far.”

“Hold on tight!” I commanded as I started for the shattered window.

Sweat poured from every pore of my body profusely as I dashed towards our only salvation. To make matters worse, I had three-hundred pounds of deadweight attached to my body. The shimmering flames grew tighter and tighter around the window as we drew closer.

I took a deep breath, bent my knees, and sent the four of us hurling out through the window into the sky.

I felt a rush of cold air on my face, and my heart plummeted. I didn’t want to open my eyes. We were all the way at the top of the building, but I was sure we didn’t have very long before we were splattered all over the pavement.

“Hooooollllyyyy shiiiiitttt!” Todd’s scream pierced my eardrums.

Without opening my eyes, I reached down deep into my mind and thought about every single memory of jealousy and disgust that I had. I could feel the emerald flames surround us, but they still weren’t strong enough to transport us so far down. Then I thought about what would happen if I didn’t make this jump. If I failed, my friends would all be dead, and it would be all my fault.

That was the most disgusting thing I could think of.

The next thing I knew, I felt the intensity of the jade embers grow as it beat against my skin. I no longer felt like I was plummeting. Instead, my entire body felt weightless. I opened my eyes and saw the Vegas skyline stretched out before us. It wasn’t moving.

I looked down and saw that my magic had halted our descent. The entire group now simply floated hundreds of feet in the air as the Excalibur burned behind us.

“I didn’t doubt you for a second.” Todd giggled as he did a breaststroke around me.

“Now let’s see if I can lower us down,” I sighed.

I outstretched both of my hands and made a slow, downward motion. The four of us began to descend towards the street below. Our room had been facing the back side of the resort, so the area below us was free of any reporters, firefighters, or terrified citizens. We continued to float downwards for another ten seconds, and then we landed safely on the pavement.

“Todd, I need you to go steal the keys from the valet,” I ordered the imp. “I’ll meet you at Lola with the girls.”

“Yes sir.” Todd saluted. “Where are we gonna go now?”

“Gallu is dead, but he said that he wouldn’t be the last.” I explained as I checked Liby’s pulse. It beat strongly, and I felt a shiver of relief descend my spine. She’d live another day.

Until Azazel sent his next minion after us.

“So, more are coming?” Todd sighed.

“No,” I said. “We are going to take the fight to them.”

Chapter 17

“How are you feeling, Cupi?” I asked as the blonde succubus stirred in the backseat.

“About as good as I can be for getting blasted by a hexed ball of Hellfire,” she said as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

“Liby?” I asked when I saw her sister begin to wake up. “You okay?”

“I’ve been better,” she sighed. “What happened?”

“Jakey and I saved the day again!” Todd said. “But mostly me.”

My friend spent the next five minutes explaining what happened. It was mostly true, except for the part about him pulling a rocket launcher out of his pocket and blasting Gallu in the face to distract him so that I could stab him.

“Unfortunately, we’re not safe yet,” I continued after Todd had brought them up to speed. “Azazel is still out there, and he’s going to keep sending his lackeys after us until we’re dead. Unless we get to him first.”

“Azazel is one of Lucifer’s most powerful demon lords,” Libidine warned. “I’m not sure if facing him is a wise choice.”

“It’s the only choice,” I sighed. “There’s got to be a spell or a trap or something in one of Todd’s books that could bring him down.”

“There isn’t anything in there about killing Azazel,” Todd corrected. “I’ve read those things inside and out multiple times. Check it out for yourself.”

Todd pulled out one of his books and handed it back to the succubi. The girls leafed through the texts for a few minutes, and then Cupi made an “aha” sound.

“That’s it!” Cupiditas exclaimed as she held up the book and pointed to the page. “Todd, this book is from the Chapel of the Trinity. It’s the church that contains sacred texts over demonology from the Vatican.”

“It’s also been hidden away for who knows how long,” Libidine added. “How did you get your hands on that book?”

Todd shrugged. “The internet is a weird, magical place.”

“Do you think this Chapel of the Trinity would have more books? Could any of them help with our Azazel problem?” I looked back at Cupi in the rearview mirror.

“If there is any answer, it would be there.” The blonde succubus shrugged.

“So how are we supposed to find it?” I asked the experts in the car. “It doesn’t sound like this is a roadside attraction.”

“Ley Lines, maybe?” Liby suggested.

“Ohhhh, those things are a blast to read about!” Todd smiled. “Imaginary geographical lines that link up a bunch of paranormal locations? It’s cool shit, man.”

“Exactly.” The dark-haired succubus smiled. “If we follow these lines, perhaps we will find our church.”

“The actual location of The Chapel of the Trinity may be hidden, but allegedly it is somewhere in New England,” Cupi retorted and looked at Todd. “That’s where we can start. You did bring your book with the Ley Line map, right?”

“Cupi,” Todd snickered and shook his head. “Do you really think an occultist like myself would go anywhere without it? That’s like, paranormal investigation 101.”

I rubbed my eyes as I thought about our next destination. New England was days away, and that was only if we didn’t take any breaks. But finding this place was the only shot we had at ending this thing once and for all. We continued down the interstate for what felt like hours as Todd and the succubi studied the map.

“Maybe this wasn’t as bright of an idea as I originally thought,” Todd muttered from the passenger seat as he flipped the Ley Line map upside down. “These things are impossible to read.”

“What?” I smirked. “Are you having issues figuring out how to find the cathedral that is impossible to find?”

“Still no word from the LVPD as to what caused the fire in the Excalibur Resort and Casino,” the newswoman’s voice crackled from Lola’s radio as we drove through the basin of the Rockies. “The only eyewitness, an employee at the resort, claims that a brown-haired man, two women, and their dog were staying in the room when the fire broke out. We go now to an exclusive first interview with the man who claims to have seen the perpetrators.”

“I went up to the room to deliver room service,” the voice of the room service attendant said. “These people must have been loaded, because they got the most expensive bottle of champagne we had! He gave me a huge tip, and I went on my way. I thought that the little thing with them was a dog, but I swear he looked like a demon.”

“And you think that it was this... demon who caused the chaos in the suite?” The newswoman was now completely disinterested in the man’s account.

“I think that what I witnessed was some real Heaven vs. Hell kind of thing,” the attendant swore. “There was a demon and then these two beautiful naked women. They could have been angels. I swear that little creature had red skin and ho--”

The interviewer’s words cut him off abruptly. “Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for today, sir. Thank you for your testimony! Back to you, Maddy.”

“Well, you heard it here first, folks.” The original newswoman couldn’t contain her laughter. “Demons in the Sin City! Maybe next time we’ll cover an incident involving the Loch Ness Monster in the Grand Canyon.”

“Shit,” I sighed. “We left my credit card there, and they have my name on file. It’s just a matter of--”

“Naw, you’re cool bro,” Todd said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Like, that first night, when you were getting paid out for all the winnings, I ran back to the front desk and then changed the name on your room to ‘Big Dick Johnson the Third. Then I changed the credit card number to 6969 6969 6969 6969!’”

“You what?” I gasped. “How?”

“Bro, I can turn invisible. Duh. I just waited for someone to log into the system and step away. Then I hacked it! I’m so smart.”

“Damn dude,” I laughed. “You really saved the day.”

“I know,” Todd said as he stretched his arms over his head. “It’s what any hero does for his sidekick.”

“Sidekick?” I asked.

“Shhhh, bro,” Todd whispered. “I would never, ever, ever say that to your face. Even if it’s true. You are my friend, and all. I like to think we are equals in this story.”

A few hours of driving later, we passed through the Rockies in Colorado and were on the plains of the eastern part of the state. As much as I loved the desert, I couldn’t help but marvel at the natural wonders that acted as a divide between the Great Plains and the Southwest.

I would be lying if I’d said that I hadn’t been horrified at the thought of Lola traveling along mountain passes that were just big enough for our car to fit through. But Todd had assured us that his baby could make it through anything, and she had done well. Now it was nothing but an open road and cornfields between us and our destination. Unless we decided to take another detour.

“I think I’ve got it, guys!” Todd exclaimed as he jumped up and down in the seat beside me. He pointed to a spot on the map near Buffalo, New York.

“Why would there be a major Vatican-sanctioned Catholic Cathedral in Buffalo?” I asked the imp. “The city didn’t become a major one until the mid-1800s, a long time after the Revolution.”

“We had a Revolution once.” Libidine nodded excitedly. “Did yours involve archangels opening a rift between the Realms, as well?”

“No, ours just had a lot of complaining about taxes and tea.” I laughed. “We won, though!”

“Ah.” Libidine hung her head toward the floor of the car. “We were not so lucky. The Army of the Divine was able to beat us back, but a few of the demons were able to make their way into Earth Realm, where they have remained since.”

“It was actually where we first met.” Cupiditas smiled. “Libidine here tried to cut off my head with a broadsword!”

Libidine chuckled. “You made me look like a complete fool. I was no match for you with your agility and hand-to-hand skills. I’m just glad you let me live!”

“So am I,” Cupi purred as she caressed the dark-haired succubus’ cheek.

I smirked as I glanced back in the mirror to watch the two succubi. “I’m trying to drive up here guys. No distractions from the back seat.”

“It’s not our fault you can’t take your eyes off us,” Liby said as she stuck out her tongue.

“So, about this Revolution you were talking about--” I started.

“Come on, Jake.” Todd slapped my shoulder. “The Revolution! When Lucifer fell from Heaven and brought a bunch of angels with him? That’s like, beginner stuff, man.”

Cupi nodded. “Exactly. It was when Lucifer first declared an all-out war against the forces of Heaven. There was lots of bloodshed, lots of death. Eventually, Lucifer’s minions were driven back from the Pearly Gates and banished to the pit of fire that you mortals know as Hell. But what most people don’t know is that most demons don’t stay in Hell. At least, not for long periods of time.”

“Why would we want to?” Libidine piped up. “It’s a terrible place!”

“Though we lower level demons are bound to our masters and overlords, those higher up on the chain can come and go as they please. Provided they aren’t defeated in battle and banished from the Earth with a hex,” Cupi explained.

I glanced back at the two succubi. “So what’s the deal with this Azazel guy? He sounds like he’s pretty far up the food chain.”

“Bro, you’re embarrassing me in front of the demons.” Todd laughed.

“Would you like to explain, Todd?” Cupiditas raised an eyebrow.

“Hell yeah, I do!” he said with a giggle. “And Jacob always told me those hours spent watching conspiracy theory videos was worthless.”

“Little did I know…” I admitted.

“About Azazel.” Todd turned to me and stuck out his hands to form a picture frame. “Think, like of the most badass general you can think of, like Patton or Napoleon or Ceasar, then multiply that times a thousand. Azazel was one of the Devil’s strongest warriors who literally taught the art of warfare to humans. A couple of biblical experts even claim that he was the one who gave the rock to Cain. How am I doing so far, girls?”

“So far, so good.” Cupi patted the imp on the head.

“Azazel was a Watcher. A metaphysical entity that was tasked with watching over the plight of man,” the imp continued. “He taught humans how to build weapons, deceive their brothers, and practice witchcraft. Until one day, the big man upstairs got tired of his shit and sent an archangel down to deal with him.”

“Raphael,” Liby corrected.

“Right, so now there’s this huge epic battle between Raphael and Azazel, which ends up with the demon being defeated and chained in a place of darkness until Judgement Day arrives,” Todd finished.

“Leave it to humans to forget the rest of the story.” Cupi rolled her eyes. “That was Raphael’s original intention, but it didn’t take long for Lucifer to send his servants after one of his most prized generals. Azazel is alive and well, but he’s been lying low ever since his defeat. His power is not as great as it once was, but he is still more powerful than Earl.”

“I wouldn’t really call sending a demon pimp and a bull-man assassin after a human lying low,” I said as we passed over the Colorado-Kansas border.

Cupi leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “You’re much more than a mere mortal, Jacob. He must have made an exception for you.”

“I’m touched,” I said as my stomach growled with hunger.

We had been so focused on getting away from the scene of the crime that we hadn’t eaten much more than a granola bar and some candy that we picked up the last time we stopped to get gas. It had to have been five or six hours ago. I was sure that I wasn’t the only one who was starving at this point. In the distance, I could see a large neon sign that flashed, “Truck Stop, Exit 96.”

It was like an oasis that sprung out of the vast emptiness of the plains and called to me like a siren. I flicked on my turn signal and headed toward the exit.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I could use some grub.” I patted my stomach.

“Bro, I could probably eat an entire cow right now, and that’s not just the munchies talking!” Todd agreed.

“We’re always read to eat.” Libidine nodded. “Earth Realm’s food is much tastier than what we have back home.”

“I think anything would taste better than roasted vargrats and insects,” The blonde succubus laughed.

“You laugh, but insects are a delicacy in some countries.” Todd raised his finger to the sky and closed his eyes as he tried to act scholarly.

We pulled up to the truck stop, and my eyes lit up with anticipation. The place looked like it had to have been at least thirty years old. A red neon sign lit up the dark Kansas sky, and there were cracks all over the parking lot. Shingles appeared to be missing from the roof. A couple of truckers stood outside smoking cigarettes. To the untrained eye, this place looked like a disaster, but Todd and I had been on so many late-night food expeditions that we knew that the shittier the truck stop looked, the better it was.

Todd licked his lips hungrily before he turned invisible and slid out of the car.

The succubi were still wearing the robes that they had been wearing during our stay in the Excalibur but they were now completely burnt and charred from the fight with Gallu.

“Sorry guys.” I shook my head back and forth. “In the rush to get out of the burning building, I completely forgot to grab our clothes.”

“We’ll just have to get new ones, then!” Libidine happily bounced up and down at the thought as she stepped out of the car.

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” I laughed. “But I will warn you that the fashion choices at this place probably aren’t quite as elegant as the ones back in Vegas.”

“Who cares where our clothes come from?” Cupiditas shrugged as we walked through the truck stop entrance. “I’m going to take them off the second I get a chance, anyway.”

First, the four of us went over to the store side of the building to check out the clothing options.

Cupiditas grabbed the first pair of pants and shirt she could find and then walked off to the bathroom to change.

“Do you like this one, Jacob?” Liby asked as she held up a simple baby blue T-shirt that read “I Heart Kansas,” with a piece of corn in place of where the heart symbol would usually be.

“I love it,” I laughed. “It’s quite homey.”

“What about these?” She picked up a pair of Daisy Duke cut-off shorts.

“Yes.” I nodded. “No questions asked.”

“Broooo.” I head Todd’s voice beg as two floating T-shirts appeared in front of me. “We need these.”

There were two black shirts, one adult-sized and the other toddler-sized, that had a picture of the Great Plains with the words “Just Plain High” scribbled across the torso.

“We can be twinsies!” He laughed.

“Why not?” I grabbed a pair of dollar-store quality jeans off the rack, took the shirt from the disembodied imp, and headed towards the men’s room to change.

Libidine giggled as she pounded on the women’s restroom door.

“Occupied!” Cupiditas’ voice called out in a panic.

“It’s just me, sister,” the dark-haired succubus laughed. “I’ve seen you naked a million times before.”

The door of the restroom opened, and the succubus stepped in.

It only took me a minute or two to change out of the robe and into the cheap clothes that I’d picked out from the truck stop store. When I was done, I stepped out to see how the succubi were faring.

Cupiditas was the first to exit the restroom. She had on a pair of black leggings that had the name of a local university in boldface white letters down the side. Completing the blonde succubus’ oh-so-fashionable outfit was a casual gray v-neck that had a picture of a black bear on the front and said, “I’m a Real Bear.”

“Is this sufficient?” the athletic blonde smirked.

“That’ll do, Cupi. That’ll do,” I laughed.

Libidine walked out, and I nearly hit the floor. The curvy woman’s ass completely filled her cut-off jean shorts, and the bottom edges of her cheeks hung out beautifully. Even the tacky blue T-shirt clung to her perfect body and made my heart race.

“You two can make anything look good, can’t you?” I asked in disbelief.

“I think you mean the three of us,” Todd corrected as he appeared out of the bathroom with his Just Plain High shirt.

“Sure thing, Todd,” I laughed.

The three of us walked up to the old man at the cash register, and he did a double take at the succubi. I pulled out two twenties to buy the clothes, but the man didn’t seem like he was paying attention. Instead, he just kept gawking at Libidine’s half-exposed ass.

“Don’t worry about it, son.” He motioned for me to put my money away. “Just bring those two beautiful ladies around here more often, and we’ll call it square.”

“Thank you so much, sir!” I reached out, shook the man’s hand, and then turned around to my friends. “Now, who’s ready to eat?”

The four of us walked over to the restaurant side of the truck stop, and I was hit with the aroma of buttery homemade mashed potatoes mixed with freshly seared steak and a hint of hoppy light beer.

Cupi and Libidine plopped happily into a booth halfway down the restaurant. I sat down across from them and slid across the vinyl seat toward the window. As I slid, my hip crashed into an unseen force, and Todd let out a yelp.

“Hands off the merchandise, bro,” Todd’s disembodied voice laughed.

“Good evening, folks!” an overly excited waitress greeted us.

The woman in front of us had to have been in her late twenties or early thirties at the latest. She wore her strawberry red hair back in a ponytail, and her hair stuck out from the clasp of her black baseball cap. She wore a tight red v-neck underneath the apron that hung off her torso and carried a handful of straws and her notepad. The server’s jeans clung to her wide hips, and I could nearly hear Todd’s heart beating through his chest when she leaned over the table to take our order.

“What can I get started for you tonight?” she said as she batted her emerald green eyes directly at me.

Todd started to say something beside me, but I cut him off with a nudge from my elbow. Whatever he was thinking, it was probably pervy as hell, and the last thing we needed was more attention.

“Steak.” I smiled. “Medium rare, with a side of the asparagus and mashed potatoes.”

“We will also have what he’s having.” Cupiditas pointed back and forth between Liby and herself.

“How wouldya like those cooked, darlings?” the waitress asked.

“As raw as you can make them.” Libidine added with a raised finger.

“Rare it is,” the redhead noted.

“One last thing,” I added. “We want an order of your ‘Sunflower State Breakfast Sampler’ to share.”

“I’ll get that right in for you,” the woman smiled and motioned for us to pass over our menus.

All three of us closed our menus and passed them over to the redhead who smiled and bounced away happily.

Seconds later, Todd reappeared beside me with his hand held over his heart. He threw back his head overdramatically and covered it with his free arm.

“I’m in love, bro,” he panted. “That red fox of a waitress is the one. I just know she is!”

I laughed. “Todd, are you sure you’re not just thinking with your dick?”

Todd’s face grew serious. “She’s super fucking hot, man. If I was still in my human form, I’d totally ask you to be my Goose right now.”

“Why can’t I still be your wingman?” I asked Todd with a playful slap on his shoulder. “I thought chicks digged your new bod?”

“They do,” Todd shook his head. “They also dig my massive schlong.”

“I did not need to know that,” I interrupted. “So what’s the problem then?”

“I think I’m just gonna watch this one from afar.” The imp shrugged. “She may be my soulmate, but I don’t think she’s ready for what the Toddster could give her.”

“Awww,” Libidine cooed. “Is Todd shy?”

“Dudette, anyone who knows me knows that’s the farthest thing from the truth,” he laughed.

“Your face is turning red,” Cupiditas joked.

“It’s always red!” Todd protested. “Look, I just don’t want to give her a heart attack. I love being an imp, but it’s a lot to take in for a first-timer. And I’m not just talking about my shlong.”

“You know,” Cupi interrupted, “Once Jacob gets a little stronger with his powers, you’ll be able to shapeshift. Maybe even back into your old body? You could even make yourself look like whoever you want.”

“That might actually be the ticket…” Todd scratched his chin and thought. “I can turn back into my saggy old mortal self to put the moves on the ladies and then change into this Temple of Todd as soon as the deal is sealed!”

The imp reached over, placed both of his tiny hands on my cheeks, and then pulled me down so that I could look him in the eye.

“We have to get you stronger, bro,” he declared. “Pronto.”

“Let’s just focus on one thing at a time,” I chuckled as I looked up and saw our waitress returning with our food.

As the redheaded woman sat the plates down on the table, I couldn’t help but be giddy. It felt like eons since I had eaten a proper steak dinner. With Todd and I’s financial situation, we were always more of a ‘ramen noodles and milk’ kind of household.

Both of the succubi salivated at the sight of the tender ten-ounce hunk of nearly raw meat in front of them as well as the fluffy, buttery potatoes and supple, aromatic asparagus spears. Then there were the breakfast items.

Todd always said that it was the most important meal of the day, so I was sure that I ordered him something special. The sampler platter had six golden-brown pancakes topped with a square of rich butter, crispy and greasy bacon, a large portion of over-easy eggs with crunchy wheat toast, and then four sausages that were nearly as big as my entire hand.

“Enjoy, guys,” the waitress smiled and turned to walk away.

“Ooof. I should have ordered some fries to go with that shake.” Todd’s disembodied voice snickered beside me.

“Hey, I offered.” I reminded the imp who was already digging into the breakfast sampler.

I turned my attention back to the succubi, who were literally tearing into their steaks. Each time they took a bite, they let out a primal grunt as if their life depended on the destruction of the entrée in front of them. They both looked up at me and stopped as they saw my obvious concern. Blood dribbled down Cupi’s face, and she gave me a big smile.

“Is something wrong?” she asked around a mouthful of steak. “You haven’t touched yours at all yet.”

“You’re supposed to do it like this.” I laughed as I grabbed my knife and fork and started cutting into the meat.

“Our way is more efficient.” Libidine chuckled. “It’s how we eat everything back home. If you don’t devour the meat quickly, then how do you keep your enemies from stealing it?”

“That’s not a problem here on Earth Realm.” I shook my head and clicked my tongue. “But be my guest. Just don’t blame me for all the stares you’re getting.”

The girls devoured their steaks in a few more bites and then moved on to their puffy mashed potatoes. Cupi picked up a handful of the fluffy white cloud and pushed it into her mouth. She savored the delicious side dish before nodding in approval.

“This is quite good.” She smiled through the juice and potatoes on her face. “Much better than Vargrats.”

“I know what to do with these.” Libidine picked up the sausage off the plate and examined it.

The dark-haired succubus shoved the entire thing into her mouth, stopping at about the halfway point to take a breath and gag, and then swallowed it whole. I heard a coffee mug fall to the floor and shatter somewhere across the restaurant.

Cupi, not wanting to miss out on the fun, grabbed one of the other sausages.

“A lot of girth on this thing, eh?” she said as she wiggled it back and forth.

“That’s never stopped you before.” Liby chuckled. “What’s the matter? Are you afraid I’ve surpassed you in skill?”

“Never,” the blonde succubus said with a smirk.

Cupi shoved the sausage into her mouth, looked over at her sister, and then swallowed it in one gulp.

“See? I didn’t even have to pause to catch my breath,” she cooed.

“Oh well.” Liby shrugged. “I’ll just have to get some more practice with Jacob. He’s about as big as these things.”

“The sooner we finish off Azazel, the sooner we can move on to more important things like that.” I winked at the dark-haired woman.

“I think I need an adult,” Todd laughed as he gulped down the remainder of his food.

The redheaded waitress returned with our check, and I handed her two fifty-dollar bills.

“Keep the change.” I nodded. “Trust me, my friend would want you to have it.”

“Call me!” Todd’s disembodied voice called out as we headed towards the exit of the truck stop.

When we got back to Lola, Todd hopped up into the seat and sighed.

“She was the one, Jakey,” he looked off into the distance. “We have to come back here and find her once I can turn back into my old self.”

“I’ll see what we can do.” I smiled and slid behind the dashboard.

“Near. Far. Wherever we are.” He nodded.

“Yes Todd, I under--”

“Even if I have to walk five hundred miles and then five hundred more.” He continued.

“Are you done?” I chuckled with a raised eyebrow.

“I could keep going for hours,” Todd laughed. “But since you asked so nicely…”

“Alright then.” I smiled. “Onwards to New England!”

I revved up the engine on the yellow sedan which responded with a guttural cough. Then we pulled out of the unfinished parking lot and headed to the interstate, back toward our mission.

I continued driving for hours as day turned into dusk and dusk turned into night. As we passed through Missouri, I briefly considered making a pitstop at my old stomping grounds in Kansas City. Then I realized that I would have to explain to my parents why I was traveling with two sex-crazed succubi and why my best friend was now a three-foot tall imp.

The two women dozed peacefully in the back of the vehicle while Todd was reclined in the passenger seat with a joint in his mouth. I turned up the radio to try to keep myself awake, but it had already been a long day. We were going to have to find a hotel here pretty soon.

Then I saw it in the rearview mirror. Out of the pitch-black of the night arose two headlights. There had been nobody else on the road for miles, so I thought that it was probably just a cop who’d been setting a speed trap. The vehicle didn’t flash any red and blue lights, and I began to wonder what the hell was going on.

Then I heard a sound that was too familiar. A series of popping noises in succession. At first, I thought that maybe Lola was backfiring. The right side mirror of the car shattered from the impact of an unseen force, and that’s when I knew exactly what was going on.

Whoever was back there was shooting at us.

Chapter 18

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” I called out as I swerved the car to dodge another hailstorm of bullets.

The sudden movement knocked the succubi awake with a gasp. Todd’s stoned-out body simply flopped over in the seat as the car lurched side to side, and the imp looked around completely confused.

“What’s going on, Jacob?” Libidine asked as she rubbed her eyes.

“Somebody’s followed us and is trying to-- Get down!” I yelled out at the two women in the backseat.

All three of us were able to duck just as Lola’s back window shattered. My hands went up over my face as chunks of plastic from the dash sprayed through the interior of the vehicle. The popping sound halted, and I patted my chest with my free hand to make sure I was still all in one piece. There was a half-inch hole in the seat beside me, but we all seemed to be alive and well.

That is, other than Todd.

The imp reached up and touched the spot on his head where his left horn used to be. Now, all that remained was a half-inch, jagged black stump.

“My horn!” he cried. “My beautiful horn!”

“I thought man made weapons couldn’t hurt demons?” I asked the experts in the back as I swerved to dodge another hailstorm.

“They must be enchanted,” Cupiditas warned.

“Can you see what we’re dealing with?” I said to the succubi as Lola lurched to the left once more.

“There’s a muzzle flash coming from the roof and there has to be a driver.” Libidine squinted back at our assailants. “I can barely see anything.”

“Either of you want to get a little closer for some reconnaissance?” I suggested to the succubi.

“I’ll do it.” Cupi winked. “I like to get my hands dirty.”

The blonde succubus grabbed the handle on her door and threw it open. She thrust herself out into the night sky, followed by a burst of purple flames as her wings emerged from her back and lifted her up towards the stars and out of sight.

In the rearview mirror I could barely make out what was going on behind us. I saw the muzzle flare of our assailant’s gun change direction, assumedly to bring down the fallen angel as a wave of baseball-sized fireballs retaliated from above.

Asphalt was thrown into the sky with a burst of flame, and the squeal of tires on pavement sang as our attackers’ vehicle swerved out of the way of the Hellfire. Unfortunately for these assholes, the flash produced by Cupi’s magic briefly illuminated the surrounding area. I could see that they were driving an unmarked white cargo van and that Liby’s observation was correct, there were only two men in the vehicle.

While the men were distracted by the flying blonde, Libidine took the opportunity to launch her own assault. The curvy succubus stuck the top half of her body out the window and hurled yellow daggers at the white van. The headlights swerved again to avoid the magical thrown blades, but then continued straight.

Through the night air, I heard one of the men let out a horrified scream of agony, and the muzzle flash stopped. Cupi got him, but it didn’t sound like he was dead yet.

The driver must have had a firearm of his own because another series of shots rang out from behind us. In the mirror, I saw the purple glow from Cupi’s wings as they went airborne once again.

“Todd, take the wheel.” I ordered my friend.

The imp saluted, and then scurried over and stood on top of my lap, reached up with his tiny palms and, took control of his precious Lola.

“I hope you didn’t forget to bring the ones, Jakey,” he cackled with glee. “I don’t give out lapdances for free!”

Now that I didn’t have to worry about keeping us on the road, my hands were free to fuck up the assholes behind us. I twisted my torso in the seat, reached out the window, closed my eyes, and summoned a three-foot wall of purple flame directly in front of the speeding van.

The driver tried to break, but it was far too late. The nose of the vehicle smashed into the barrier, and both assailants were violently thrown from the van. Before they could hit the ground, Cupiditas swooped down and grabbed the passenger.

The driver, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

He threw up his hands helplessly to try to break the fall, but his arms did nothing but ram backward, shooting his bones out through his elbows as his body impacted the rocky asphalt. His face collided with the ground, and his brains splattered across the Missouri interstate. The man continued to skid for a few more feet, leaving a trail of gore and bone fragments behind as it went.

“Pull ‘er over, Todd.” I instructed the imp and pointed to the side of the road.

The Volvo rolled to a stop, and the three of us scrambled out of the vehicle towards Cupiditas, who had landed about thirty feet away from the wreckage. In her grasp was the surviving assailant, who took one look at his partner’s splattered remains, fell to his knees, and began to hurl.

The succubus didn’t give him much of a chance to recover before she yanked him up by his arm, and the man let out a scream of pain.

“I already broke it,” she hissed as we stopped at her side. “Now I’m going to rip it off if you don’t start talking. Who sent you?”

“Fuck you.” The assailant spat out blood at Cupi’s feet and then looked at us. “And fuck your little midget. And your fugly-ass car.”

Todd jumped up and lashed out at the blond assassin with his left hand. The imp’s claws caught the man’s right eyeball, and the attack sliced it open like a grape and pulled it out of its socket.

The assassin shrieked in agony as he fumbled to push his eye back in place. Instead, his panicked motions just smooshed the eyeball even further.

The whole scene made me remember that even if Todd was a laid back stoner, he was still a deadly creature straight out of Hell. It made me glad that he was on our side.

“Insult me all you want, bro,” Todd growled. “But don’t insult my baby.”

“Who gave you those enchanted bullets?” Cupi spat once more.

“Why… why the fuck would I talk?” the assassin said with a labored heave of his chest. “I’m already bleeding out anyways.”

“Because, believe it or not,” the blonde warned, “we can make your last moments much, much more unpleasant.”

“I don’t even know his name,” the assailant coughed. “He mostly stood in the shadows when he talked to us. Israel? Azrael?”

“Azazel,” I corrected.

“He gave us some special bullets,” he weakly explained. “Told us to look for a shitty yellow car with two hot women that’d be passing through here. We were supposed to kill the man. That’s all I know.”

Cupi looked at me and raised her eyebrow. I knew she was asking if I wanted to kill the man, and my mind spun for a few moments when I thought about the decision. On one hand, I’d never killed a man before, but on the other hand, these two assholes had taken money to kill me. Should I just forgive and forget? Was that even smart when this guy could come after me again? He was probably just a pawn in this whole battle between Azazel and me.

Then again. This wasn’t actually a battle. This was a war.

“I’ll do it,” I said as ice began to kill my stomach.

Cupi nodded and then stepped away from the man. His eyes grew wide as I raised my hand, but then a red flash of Hellfire emerged from my palm and burned his head off his shoulders.

Then his smoking body fell to the pavement of the highway.

“I’m not going to let anyone attack us without paying the price,” I said as I smiled at my two beautiful girlfriends. “That includes humans, demons, angels, or gods.”

“He deserved it,” Liby said. “You did the right thing.”

“That’s right,” Todd said as he smiled at me. “No one fucks with the Toddster and his crew, or Jacob will fucking melt their faces off!”

“Let’s get going,” I laughed, and then we all turned and walked back toward Lola.

“That was a close one,” Todd patted his broken horn as the four of us slid back to the car. “Thankfully the ‘ol dynamic duo of Todd and Jacob were here to kick ass and take names.”

“Todd and Jacob?” I asked as I kicked Lola into gear, and we continued down the interstate.

“The order of the names doesn’t matter,” he reassured me.

“They’re never going to stop.” Cupiditas muttered from the backseat.

“That’s why we have to find the Chapel of the Trinity, sister.” Libidine nodded. “If we can find the right spell, we can ensure that Azazel never bothers anyone ever again.”

“We still have to make it there in one piece.” The blonde shook her head. “That’s going to be hard to do when there’s a new assassin in our way every few hours.”

“Then we’ll just take them out too!” Todd stood up on the seat triumphantly as I began to pull Lola back out onto the highway. “Did you see how bad we fucked those guys up back there? And we didn’t even take any damage!”

“Uh--” I started to point at Todd’s horn, but he just ignored my gesture.

“Nothing is going to stand between us and a lifetime of fun and excitement!” the imp giggled.

Just as the words left Todd’s mouth, all four of us were startled by a loud pop. I looked back in the rearview mirror to see if there were more assailants, but the road was empty.

“No!” Todd screamed. “Nononononononononono!”

Smoke began to stream out from underneath Lola’s hood. The engine coughed and sputtered, and every single warning light on the dashboard sprang to life. The vehicle began to slow down on its own, so I turned the wheel and guided the car to a rolling stop off to the side of the road.

I reached down and released the hood latch of the Volvo, which only increased the intensity of the black smog that rested beneath.

Todd scrambled out of the vehicle, and the succubi and I followed suit. The imp stood at the front of the car as he frantically reached up for the lever that would unlatch the hood. He was far too short, so he could only leap up in vain as more and more smoke poured out of Lola’s engine.

“Easy there, Todd.” I reassured the imp as I reached into the trunk and wrapped a blanket around my hand. “I’m sure Lola just needs some TLC, and then she’ll be good as new.”

“I hope so.” He was now almost in tears. “I’ve been with her since High School. She can’t die on me now!”

I reached down, popped the lever, and pushed open the hood. A small stream of antifreeze was pouring out of the bottom of the engine, and through the smog I could make out the familiar image of greasy oil spilled all across the compartment.

“It doesn’t look good, man…” I shook my head. “When was the last time she was at a mechanic?”

“A what now?” Todd sniffled.

“Are you telling me that Lola’s never been to a mech--” I started.

“Another man touching my girl!” Todd protested. “Fuck no! I did all the repairs myself. Mostly with duct tape, WD-40, and second-hand parts I bought on the internet.”

“But you changed the oil, right?” I asked.

My friend just blinked at me.

“You’ve never changed the oil?” I gasped.

“Just my sexy presence keeps her well lubricated,” Todd declared.

“That’s not how it works,” I sighed as I pushed the palm of my hand to my face. “That’s not how it works at all.”

“Todd,” Libidine put her hand on the imp’s shoulder. “I don’t think she’s going to make it.”

“Don’t you dare say that!” Todd pointed his stubby finger at the succubus. “Jakey, give me the keys. I’m going to try to resuscitate her!”

“Todd--” I began as I removed the keys from my pocket.

“She’ll pull through.” He snatched the fob from my hand and ran back to the driver’s seat. “Clear!”

The imp turned the key, and the Volvo screamed as the alternator tried to turn over. More smoke churned out of the engine in response.

“Stay with me, baby!” Todd pleaded. “Clear!”

This time, the engine sputtered to life.

“Yes!” I could see the imp’s head appear over the dashboard as he jumped up and down in celebration.

Then, Lola’s engine let out a loud wail and caught on fire.

“Nooooooooo!” Todd sobbed.

I walked over to the imp in the driver’s seat and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Todd. I think she’s dead.”

“We had a good run, girl.” Todd muttered through tears as he patted the red interior of the car.

“What are we going to do now, Jacob?” Cupiditas asked somberly.

“Well, we’re still at least a day’s drive away from our destination,” I explained. “First thing’s first, we need to get to a dealership so that we can find a new set of wheels.”

“We’re pretty far out from civilization, man.” Todd sniffled. “Are we just gonna walk?”

“We can hitchhike,” Cupiditas suggested. “Libidine and I don’t ever seem to have any issues getting people to stop and look at us.”

“For a very good reason,” I laughed. “Let’s start walking east, and if we see any cars, we can try to get them to stop and take us as far as they’re willing to go.”

The four of us sauntered down the interstate for nearly an hour before we saw a pair of shimmering headlights approaching from behind. Todd turned invisible, and the girls and I all stuck out our thumbs in hopes that the driver would stop. A large, blue semi slowed down to a stop in front of us, and a jolly man with a white beard threw open the door to greet us.

“Howdy folks!” He patted the seat beside him. “Where y’all headed?”

“We’re headed towards Maine, but we really just need to find a car dealership,” I explained as I climbed up into the middle of the vehicle’s cabin.

“Maine? Well I’ll be damned,” the large man shook his head. “I’m taking this shipment to Boston! Y’all are welcome to ride with me the whole way. If you can tolerate the truckin’ life, that is.”

“Really?” I stuck out my arm to shake his hand. “That’d be great!”

“What luck,” Cupiditas said as she gave me a sly grin.

The girls leaned their heads against each other, and I placed my hands on my lap and laid back in the stiff seat. Losing Lola might have been a real setback, but at least we had a ride towards our destination.

Now all that was left was to figure out where to find the Chapel.

Chapter 19

“Nope,” Todd’s disembodied voice whispered as the salesman finished showing us a brand new silver coupe. “Not a worthy successor to Lola.”

“It’s nice, but I think we might have to pass on this one.” I shrugged to the dealer. “We need four doors.”

“Let us try this again!” he said as a forced smile arose on his face. “What are you looking for in a vehicle? You said you wanted something that would be good for cross-country travel, and something that would be able to fit at least five people at a time.”

“But still affordable,” I added. “I know, we’re quite picky!”

“Not at all, Mr. Pearson! We just haven’t found the right car for you yet.” The dealer smiled and gestured to the enormous fleet of vehicles that stood before us.

The nice man in the truck had dropped us off at a small dealership just outside the Boston city limits. I had tried to give the truck driver a few hundred dollars for letting us tag along on his trip, but he refused. Instead, he just told me to keep an eye on those girls of mine, because he thought they could get me into a lot of trouble.

If only he knew how right he was.

“How long are you going to play Goldilocks?” I whispered to Todd as we approached a cluster of larger vehicles.

“Hey man, nothing can ever replace Lola,” he retorted. “But I want whatever we get to be just as sexy as she was. That’s really hard to do.”

“What about one of these?” Cupiditas asked as she ran her hand on a four door jet-black jeep we passed. “They seem somewhat practical. Lots of room for storing things. Looks like it could handle a rollover without crushing us, and most importantly, there’s plenty of room in the seats for festivities.”

“That should be priority number one,” Libidine giggled.

“I dunno, man,” Todd mumbled. “I always thought jeeps were more of a soccer mom thing.”

“That would be a minivan, my friend,” I corrected him with a chuckle.

The dealer finally came to a stop in front of a Hummer and slapped his hand enthusiastically on its door. “How about this baby? It might be used, but it’s got all the space you could ever want. It’s built like a tank, and it can go off-road at a moment’s notice!”

“Now we’re talking!” Todd giggled quietly.

“It’s quite impressive.” Cupiditas nodded at the massive vehicle in front of us. “But size really doesn’t matter.”

“Can you give us a minute to talk it over?” I asked the man in the plaid shirt who nodded and walked a few feet away to play on his phone.

“Uh, that thing gets like ten miles to the gallon. Not exactly a good road tripping vehicle,” I explained to the succubi and Todd.

“But Jacob, it would offer excellent protection against anyone who tried to attack us,” Liby argued. “If those guys with the guns had hit us while we were driving this, we would still be outrunning them.”

“Well, yeah, until we would have needed to stop for gas twenty miles down the road,” I joked. “Why don’t we compromise? Go with something that’s more protected than Lola was but isn’t going to stick out like a sore thumb when we’re trying to sneak our way across the country, hiding from a powerful demon?”

“So, one of those things?” Cupi pointed back at the group of jeeps we had just passed by.

“I don’t know, bro…” Todd pondered.

I sauntered over to the black jeep Cupi had mentioned earlier and placed my hand on the hood of the vehicle. “They’re excellent for mud-bogging. And off-roading. And dune surfing. All of which are a million times more fun when you’re as high as a--”

“Sold,” Todd said before I could even finish my sentence.

“What do you think, girls?” I asked the two succubi.

Libidine opened the door and hopped up into the back seat of the jeep I was standing by. She hung her legs over the side playfully like a toddler and then flopped back onto the vinyl interior. Then the succubus thrust her hips into the air as she pretended she was in the throes of passion.

Cupi, not wanting to miss out on the fun, climbed up and laid on top of the dark-haired succubus. The two women giggled as they rolled around in the back seat pretending to get it on as they let out a few over the top fake moans.

All I could do was cover my face in embarrassment, but I made sure that I was still able to peek through my fingers.

Then the two succubi slid out of the vehicle and walked back to me with their arms wrapped around each other.

“This thing has an actual cigarette lighter!” Todd yelled from inside the jeep. “Maybe it’s not so bad after all.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t comment on the lack of a cassette player,” I said as I gestured to the dash.

“What?” Todd gasped. “How are we supposed to jam to my mix tape?”

“It’s got a satellite radio and Bluetooth connection,” I said. “We’ll mange some tunes.”

“I dunno man,” Todd sighed. “I pour my high school heart and soul into those mixtapes, and I don’t think that--”

“You’ll get to be the DJ,” I pointed out, “and think about all the cool tunes you could spin with a satellite radio.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Jakey,” Todd replied after a few moments.

“Excellent. So we’re all in agreement that this is the one we want?” I offered one last time.

“Yes!” all three of them said in unison.

I turned around and motioned for the salesman to come back over. “I think we’ll take this one.”

“Really?” he asked with a relieved sigh.

“Unless you wanted to show us some more?” I chuckled.

“No no no!” the man with the chiseled jaw shook his head. “Let me go grab the paperwork and get the loan officer.”

“That won’t be necessary.” I held up my hand to stop him before he left. The dumbfounded look on the man’s face told me he needed more explanation. “We’ll be paying in cash today. The full amount.”

“The… This vehicle is thirty-thousand dollars, Mr. Pearson…” he bumbled.

“I know.” I smiled as I removed a wad of bills from my pocket. “I’m assuming you’d like that in hundreds?”

“Uh, yes, yes.” The salesman rubbed his head in awe.

I rustled through the stack of cash, counting out hundred-dollar bills into piles of ten-thousand each before sliding them over to the salesman.

“I’ll get right to work on the title!” he said, and then he scurried back toward the building.

“You know, I could have just gotten us the vehicle for free,” Liby said. “I can use my power to get pretty much whatever I want from men or women.”

“I appreciate the offer,” I said, “but we had the money, and I didn’t want to steal from this guy. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to use your sexy powers of persuasion.”

“Speaking of demon powers,” Todd said. “This big black Jeep looks like something a succubus lord would drive. So, what are we gonna name this beaut?” Todd reappeared in the passenger’s seat of the jeep, a blunt and the cigarette lighter already in his hand.

“Who said it’s her?” I questioned. “You have to drive a car for a little while before you can know its personality. This could be a Bubba Joe for all we know. It could fall apart halfway down the interstate with our luck.”

“That was the old us, Jake,” Todd mused as he kicked back the reclining seat. “We’ve got a new lease on life, and now we’re the luckiest sons of bitches in the world right now!”

“Don’t talk about his mother like that!” Cupi let out in shock.

“It’s just an expression.” I laughed.

The salesman returned with the keys and joyfully plopped a pair of them down into my hand. He had to be on cloud nine right now. Not only did he just make a big commission on a thirty-thousand dollar vehicle, but he really didn’t have to haggle over the price. I filled out a few documents for the title and temporary insurance, and then the salesman shook my hand one last time to seal the deal and then bid us farewell.

I was sure none of them could have possibly been as needy as we had been. The duffel bag full of our money and Todd’s books was tossed in the hatch of the vehicle. It felt good finally  to have something that was ours considering I hadn’t been the owner of a “new” car since, well, ever.

I climbed up into the driver’s seat and tossed the keys happily into the air before catching them again. “Are we ready to see what this bad boy can do?”

“Punch it, Jakey!” Todd stood up on the seat and pointed at the exit of the dealership.

I cranked the keys in the ignition, and the jet-black jeep roared to life. This thing was definitely going to take some getting used to. It was about three times the size of Lola, and I was sure it handled like the military vehicle it was originally designed to be. Sure, it was a civilian-grade, but it would offer us much more protection from attackers than Todd’s old Volvo would have. Hell, despite its size, it might even be getting better gas mileage than Lola did. There was no black exhaust or strange noises that made me wonder if the car was going to die on us at any moment.

This thing was a beast.

“I’ve got it,” I snickered. “Why don’t we call it Gallu?”

“The demon you killed back in Vegas?” Cupi pondered.

“Why not?” I raised my hand and began to count on my fingers. “It’s a hulking monstrosity, it’s pitch-black like his fur, and it can take a beating and keep on going!”

“Gallu’s not exactly a good car name, man,” Todd puffed from beside me.

“I think we should call it Shadow.” Libidine shrugged. “It makes sense considering you’re the only mortal to have a brush with the Shadow World and live to tell the tale.”

“Hmm. I can live with Shadow, but I’m telling you, you’re missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a car named Gallu,” I laughed as I put the jeep into gear, and we set off down the road.

From our current location, we were only about an hour or two away from where the map claimed the Chapel of the Trinity would be located. We hopped onto the interstate and headed north toward our destination.

Chapter 20

The brisk New England wind blew through our hair as we drove past the beautiful coastline. Cupiditas and Libidine couldn’t stop staring at the ocean, and I couldn’t blame them. They were from Hell, and I didn’t imagine that they had a lot of water there. Todd puffed his joint and took a break every few minutes to sing along with the upbeat song coming through our speakers.

Even after buying Shadow, our pockets were full of riches that I could only have dreamt of before. There was only one thing that stood between the four of us and a lifetime of happiness: Azazel.

“How close do you estimate we are, Hellspawn GPS?” I asked Todd jokingly as I turned down the music blaring through the Jeep’s nice sounding stereo system.

He shrugged. “I dunno. Ley Line cartography isn’t really an exact science. I just know that we have to go to this little town on the coast of Maine. We’re only about thirty minutes away, but from there it’s anybody’s guess.”

“I think it would be wise if we asked some locals,” Libidine suggested. “They have surely heard legends about this sacred place.”

“Or they’re all going to think we’re a bunch of loons who got into a little too much reefer.” I laughed and nudged the imp beside me.

“I’m glad you can joke about this, Jacob,” Cupi spoke up. “We already know that Azazel is onto us, and he surely isn’t too happy about the fact that we’ve killed one of his most successful pimps as well as every henchman he’s sent after us. I’m just wondering what he’s going to send our way next.”

“Relax, Cupi.” I looked at her in the rearview mirror. “The four of us are a great team, and we’re only growing stronger by the minute. Azazel won’t know what hit him!”

“I wouldn’t advise you to go up against this guy in combat.” Cupi’s eyes narrowed. “He’s slain entities much more powerful than any of us. That’s why he was once one of Lucifer’s top commanders.

“Was, one of his top commanders,” I pointed out. “You said he got his ass kicked and lost a lot of power, right?”

“Yes,” the blonde woman sighed. “He is still very dangerous, though. We just need to find a way around this conflict without any chance of a physical confrontation.”

“Exactly,” I smirked. “That’s why we’re going to this run-down church in the middle of nowhere. We get in, we find the sacred texts, do some chanting, cast Azazel back to Hell, and then we can be back in our apartment partying by the end of the week.”

Libidine and Todd both cheered at my words, but Cupiditas remained silent.

The succubus crossed her arms and stared out at the coastline, her thoughts distant. I’d seen Cupi rattled before when Earl first appeared back at the bar, but this time was different. When she’d spoken about her pimp, she sounded worried yet hopeful that he could be defeated. There was none of that in her voice today, only pure terror.

We were now about a mile out from the town, and the growling of my gut reminded me that we couldn’t fight evil on an empty stomach, so I pulled Shadow over at a small seafood restaurant that stood right on the beach.

The place was beautiful, a white and black building modeled after the traditional colonial style that would have been common in the revolutionary era. Large bay windows on the front of the facade allowed us to see into the establishment as we approached.

I heard the sound of Todd’s lips smacking, and my stomach gurgled happily at the sight of all the freshly caught seafood at the tables.

“Table for three?” the bubbly blonde hostess asked as we entered the building and walked up to the seating area.

“Four,” I corrected.

The woman behind the counter raised her eyebrow, puzzled. “Do you have someone meeting you here later?”

“Uh, sure,” I confirmed.

“Excellent! Table for four out on the patio. Please follow me!” She smiled sweetly at us.

As we walked out onto the patio section of the restaurant, the view nearly took my breath away. The whitewashed deck overlooked a large stretch of beach, where tourists were laying out sunbathing, playing with their children in the sand, and taking a dip in the brisk water. It was in the late afternoon, and there was no place I’d rather take in the sunset than a sandy beach with a belly full of fresh seafood.

“What can I start you off with?” a tall man wearing a black tux appeared at our table with a forced grin.

I turned to the succubi. “Do you guys like red wine?”

“I’m open to anything,” Liby said with a shrug.

Cupi gave no response.

“Merlot it is. And then we’ll take four whole lobsters, the fresher the better. Just don’t bring them to us still pinching.” I winked.

“Right away, sir.” The waiter happily picked up our menus as he realized how big of a gratuity he was going to be getting from this meal.

I moved over to the other side of the table where the two succubi sat, and wrapped an arm around both of them.

Libidine nuzzled her dark head of hair against my shoulder happily. She always smelled sweet, with a flowery, lilac-like aroma that wafted around her wherever the beautiful succubus went.

Cupi smelled good, too, but her scent was more of a warrior’s musk, similar in odor to evergreen or eucalyptus. Even with my arm around the blonde, she continued to ignore my touch.

“Cupi, please don’t worry so much,” I pleaded with the athletic succubus.

“I just don’t see why we are celebrating. We’re not even close to victory. In fact, I’d put our chances of victory at nearly 3,720 to 1.” She frowned. “Those are not good odds.”

“Are you sure you’ve never watched those space opera movies before?” Todd giggled from the empty seat across from us.

“Okay, so say we find this place, and it doesn’t have the archives we thought it did. Say it doesn’t even exist. So what?” I ruffled Cupi’s short hair as I spoke and got an annoyed response from the blonde. “We can still continue to fight off whoever Azazel sends our way, or we can keep running. We have enough money to last us a lifetime, and our powers will only get stronger and stronger the closer we become.”

“Jacob.” Cupiditas warned. “I’ve fought alongside him, and I’ve fought against him. And honestly? I’m not sure which one was worse. Azazel is ruthless. Even if we keep fighting off his assailants, then what? He’s eventually going to try to come after us himself. When that happens… A suicide pact has to be on the table.”

“A what-pact now?” Todd exclaimed.

“I’m serious, Todd,” Cupi snarked. “If Azazel takes us alive, he’s going to do horrific things to us that I can’t even think about without wanting to vomit. And if we actually have the gall to fight back against Hell’s greatest general? He’ll make it ten times worse. Look at how much we struggled against our pimp. Azazel is fifty times the warrior he was!”

“Then we’re just going to have to get fifty times stronger,” I mused. “And hope that the Chapel of the Trinity has what we are looking for.”

The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Right before either of us could say our part, the waiter returned with our order on a rolling cart.

He plopped down four plates on the white tablecloth, each containing a bright red lobster that still steamed from the cooking process, along with a small container of butter sauce. The waiter smiled as he passed out three small forks, the kind typically used to pull the meat out of the shell of the crustacean. Next, he tossed down a basket full of the region’s famous cheddar bay biscuits.

Last but not least, he set down three wine glasses in front of us and then produced the restaurant’s most expensive bottle of merlot from the lower tier of the cart. The man brandished a wine opener momentarily before he jammed it into the stopper on the merlot and twisted, and the bottle opened with a small pop as the red wine was exposed to the air for the first time in years.

“Would it be possible to taste test the wine first?” I suggested. “These girls over here aren’t big drinkers, and I’d hate to give them something they weren’t going to enjoy.”

“Of course, sir!” our waiter exclaimed.

The man in the nice clothes poured a tiny amount of the merlot into the wine glasses before he passed them across the table. Cupi sniffed the fermented juice in her cup cautiously, but then took a small sip. Libidine, on the other hand, simply shrugged and put down the entire sample in a single gulp. I wanted to feel fancy, so I swirled my merlot around in my glass a little to mix up the flavor.

The liquid in my cup reeked of the alcohol within, and it tasted dry when it finally touched my lips. I tipped the glass back and swallowed the wine with an excited gulp. I looked around at my friends, who all nodded happily to indicate they wanted more. I motioned to the man with the bottle and pointed to our glasses.

The waiter caught the gist and poured out the wine into three perfectly even portions, about halfway up the glass.

“Bon appétit,” he said with a bow before he walked away.

Todd didn’t hesitate. The second the waiter’s back was turned, he tore into the biscuits. Three of the golden appetizers floated in the air and then were demolished into nothing more than a spray of crumbs as they vanished down the imp’s gullet.

I picked up my lobster fork and motioned for the girls to follow my lead. Libidine grabbed hers, but Cupi refused.

“Come on, Cupi,” I pleaded. “You can’t let fear get the best of you. There are two ways you can look at this. The first is that we’re doomed. It’s all hopeless, and we’re going to be tortured eternally for interfering with Azazel’s business. Or, you can see it my way. We’ve already overcome some ridiculously stacked odds, and we operate perfectly as a team. And you know what? Despite the bloodshed and the stress, I’m having a blast with you guys! We’re having fun, and we want to keep having fun. Azazel and his goons are the only things standing in our way, and we’re going to find something in the Chapel that will tell us how to kick his sorry ass.”

I reached out to touch the blonde succubus who looked at me pitifully with her violet eyes. “You’re never going to have to go back to Hell, not on my watch.”

Cupi sighed with a half-smile. “I hope you’re right, Jacob. If not, then I hope Azazel straps me up right next to you in the torture chamber. That way, I can keep telling you how wrong you were for the rest of eternity.”

“There’s my Cupi!” I exclaimed as I kissed her on the cheek. “Now, we can’t search for ancient church secrets on an empty stomach. Let’s dig in.”

Before I could stop her, Cupi slammed down the tiny fork into the body of the lobster, picked it up to her mouth, and bit down on the entire tail. There was a loud crunch as her mouth filled with a mixture of delicate meat and rock-hard shell. The blonde’s face contorted into a look of disgust as she swallowed the contents.

Todd and I couldn’t contain our laughter at the situation.

“I thought this was supposed to be a delicacy on Earth Realm? I think I’d rather eat Vargrats!” she gagged as she took a large sip of wine.

“That’s because you don’t eat the shell.” I laughed and began to dig out the lobster meat with my fork. “Here, let me show you. A little patience goes a long way, you know.”

“My sister has never been one for patience. Why do you think she was nicknamed after Greed?” Liby giggled.

“Haha,” the blonde succubus retorted sarcastically.

Todd wolfed down his entire lobster in less than five minutes. The spot in front of him looked like a disaster area, with speckles of red shell, butter stains, and crumbs all across the pristine tablecloth. Satisfied with himself, the imp let out a loud burp to announce that he was finished.

“Whew, I don’t think I’ll have the munchies again for weeks.” Todd’s disembodied voice chuckled.

“Who are you kidding?” I asked as I took a bite of claw meat. “You’ll be hungry again before we even hit the road.”

“You’re probably right. This smokin’ body of mine is a unit,” the imp joked. “It needs four-thousand calories a day to keep up its appearance. Speaking of, I think I’m going to go and work off some of this meal. If you get my drift.”

“Alright. Just don’t do anything too crazy. And if you do? Don’t get caught,” I ordered Todd with the point of my fork.

“Roger, Captain Ralston.” He giggled before I heard the sound of his hooves hitting the wood, and he ran off to cause mayhem.

“So, we know that we are in the correct vicinity of the Chapel of the Trinity, but how are we going to find it?” Libidine pondered. “Our map can only take us so far.”

“Excuse me?” a voice behind me spoke up. “Did you say The Chapel of the Trinity?”

I turned around to see a short brown-haired man not much older than I was. He had a button nose and beady green eyes behind wide-brimmed glasses that looked like they could pierce into your very soul. Upon first glance, the man looked like anybody else. Yet, there was something that just seemed off about him. At first, I wondered if he was one of Azazel’s assailants, but the lack of purple eyes seemed to confirm that he wasn’t a demon. He stuck out his hand to shake mine.

“Name’s Thomas Parker,” he said as he shook my hand. “Paranormal investigator.”

My heart dropped into my stomach as I hoped that he hadn’t been watching us the whole time. I smiled at Thomas and shook his hand enthusiastically.

“Marcus,” I lied. “Marcus Pearson.”

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, Mr. Pearson, and I wanted to introduce myself!” He clapped his hands together.

“Why were you eavesdropping on us?” Cupi asked nervously, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her grip tightening on her fork.

“Oh, I wasn’t eavesdropping, I swear.” Parker placed his hand over his heart to solidify his claim. “It’s just that it catches my ears when somebody else speaks of my life’s work.”

“Oh?” I questioned.

“The Chapel of the Trinity.” he continued. “I’ve spent the last five years traveling all around New England searching for the holy location. It’s like the El Dorado for paranormal nuts. What’s your interest in it?”

“Uh, we were just traveling through town and heard about it from a few of the locals,” I lied. “We wanted to see if the urban legends were true. Plus, my girlfriend over there is a huge fan of anything to do with the occult.”

“The occult?” the man questioned excitedly. “What have you heard?”

Libidine thought fast on her feet. “Somebody told me that there was a portal to Hell in the catacombs beneath it.”

“Huh, that’s a new one.” Thomas shrugged. “Well, good luck finding it. I’ve tried everything, even Ley Line Maps. Nothing seems to work.”

“Ley Line Maps?” I played dumb to see if this guy knew anything we didn’t.

“Yeah. If you chart out all the Ley Lines, points of strong magnetic force and magical influence, there are patterns all across the globe,” Parker explained. “That little podunk town up the road matches up perfectly with a bunch of the lines, but when I followed the exact geographic coordinates in my GPS, there was nothing but an open field. So, I’ve been going back to the drawing board to try to find the Chapel.”

“What were the coordinates, exactly?” I asked. “Just in case we wanted to scope it out.”

“I can promise you that there’s nothing there,” Thomas chuckled, “but if you’re really that morbidly curious, I suppose I could take you there.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Cupi shook her head. “We prefer to do our paranormal investigating on our own. No offense.”

“None taken. There’s just something that’s so satisfying and surreal about being out there in the middle of the night, alone with nothing but yourself and the surrounding spirits. I totally get it. Here.” Thomas pulled out a pen and scribbled down the GPS coordinates onto a napkin. “Use them wisely, fellow legend trippers.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” I nodded at the man as I shook his hand again.

“By the way, I love your purple contacts.” Thomas smiled at the girls before he turned and walked back to his table.

“We need to find Todd and get out of here.” I motioned for the succubi to follow me as I tossed down a few hundred on the table. “If that guy is right about the coordinates, then we may have found our Chapel!”

“But I thought he said it was just a giant field in the middle of nowhere?” Liby questioned.

“Exactly,” I explained as we followed the hoof prints in the sand along the beach. “Think about it. A wide-open field in one of the oldest and most well-developed parts of the country? No farmland, no housing, not part of a park or forest? There is totally something there.”

“You think it might be hexed?” Cupi asked. “Shielded by some sort of magical spell?”

“I’m almost sure of it. What are the chances that an expert on the Chapel and a Ley Line map in Todd’s antique book are both wrong?” I shrugged coyly.

“How the hell are we going to get it to reveal itself?” Libidine questioned.

“This is why it’s so important that we find our three-foot-tall friend,” I laughed. “The ever-investigative Todd brought his entire paranormal library along with him. If there’s a way to get the Chapel of the Trinity to show itself, it’s gotta be in there.”

“Uhg, I feel so strange speaking the words of the Holy again.” Cupiditas commented as we continued along the coastline.

“They’re just words. You know what they say. Sticks and stones may break my bones-” I started.

“But ancient religious spells will send you to Hell for all eternity,” Libidine laughed.

“That’s not the saying I learned.” I smirked. “But I suppose it’s true in this situation.”

We didn’t even need to keep following the hoofprints in the sand to find Todd. There was a woman lying topless a few yards down the beach on her stomach, with the upper half of her bikini sitting in the sand beside her. Her bikini top suddenly floated upwards and then began to move across the beach via invisible imp. The woman jumped up in surprise as she covered herself, and then she started to run after the moving garment. She held one arm across her bare breasts as she bounded after the bikini, but her chest was so massive that her efforts were completely in vain, and her large breasts bounced in unison as she chased the invisible imp.

The garment halted mid-stream and then fell to the ground suddenly. The topless woman grumbled as she reached down, picked up her top, and wrapped it back around her chest.

“What a rush!” Todd’s disembodied voice giggled as hoofprints appeared in the sand next to us. “So, what’d I miss?”

“A lot, actually,” I explained. “We need to head back to Shadow and get on the road. I think we finally know where the Chapel of the Trinity is.”

I explained everything to the imp as we made or way back to the Jeep. The sun was just setting as the four of us slid into the black interior of Shadow, and I paused before I twisted the key.

I wanted us to enjoy this sunset.

Cupiditas was afraid of what would come next, but I was determined that this would not be the last sunset we’d ever get to see.

Chapter 21

“You sure you don’t know how to cast a spell to get rid of Mosquitoes?” Todd said as he swatted at the pest on his arm in annoyance.

It was pitch-black out here in the New England wilderness, and the only thing that lit our path was the Hellfire that the succubi and I had summoned to our hands. Bugs chirped all around us, and our sense of direction was further disoriented. Thomas was right, this place really was out in the middle of nowhere.

We had to leave Shadow up on the side of the road a few miles back and continue on foot through the brush of the forest. She was built for a bit of off-roading, but these trees were so dense that there was no way the vehicle would have been able to get through. It was probably less suspicious this way, anyhow.

We continued to rustle through the forest for about ten more minutes, and we constantly checked the map to make sure that we were still on the right path. As I brushed away a tree branch from my path, I stumbled out of the woods and onto a grassy clearing. The term “large” wouldn’t have done it justice, as the area was at least six hundred square feet in size.

As I continued through the clearing, the entire world was quiet. Bugs stopped chirping, and the sound of the croaking frogs went silent. Even my friends’ footsteps behind me sounded muffled and quiet. There was some form of otherworldly magic in the surrounding air, something that made the area feel like it was a place ripped out of space and time.

This had to be the place.

“So now what?” Libidine asked as she, Cupi, and Todd joined me in the clearing.

“We chant.” I nodded at Todd, who carried one of his favorite paranormal books. “This thing is full of enchantment rituals and their counter-spells.”

“What do we need to do to make this work?” I questioned.

“Just repeat after me.” He nodded as he leafed through the book and came to a halt in the middle. “Let’s try this one. Oh holy one, hear our cry. Please reveal to us this sacred location that you have blessed and hidden away from your enemy Lucifer and his minions.”

It took a few tries, but eventually, all four of us were able to get the incantation to come out clear as day in unison and in Latin.

A few moments later, the wilderness returned to life. The song of the crickets rang throughout the night sky along with the howl of the wind and the buzz of different insects as they passed us by.

Most importantly, however, was the glow of the silver ectoplasm-like circle that appeared in front of our position. It sizzled in the air as it spun and rose upward to reveal chunks of broken-down cobblestone and brick. The circle evaporated into thin air when it reached the point of a decrepit steeple.

There it was, the Chapel of the Trinity.

“Well, son of a bitch.” Todd chuckled at the success of his spell. “I guess the Toddster is a regular wizard!”

“Fuck yes, he is.” I ran over and hugged the imp in celebration. “You did it, you beautiful bastard!”

“No homo?” Todd raised an impish eyebrow.

“No homo,” I laughed.

Even though we had found the Chapel, we still needed to go inside and see if there were any clues that could help us with the whole Azazel situation. The Chapel wasn’t a sprawling cathedral by any means, but it was still quite massive for being located in the middle of nowhere in Maine. If it was truly as important as we’d heard it was, then maybe this was a case where size didn’t actually matter.

Cupiditas and Libidine looked hesitant to enter the building.

“What’s the problem?” I called back as I walked through the threshold.

“Demons and churches generally don’t mesh well together,” Libidine explained. “If an evil entity goes into a holy building without permission or a valid warrant, it could cause a major incident. Heaven and Hell made an agreement centuries ago that we couldn’t enter each other’s sacred sites without proper validations.”

“Well then, you all have my permission to enter!” I laughed and motioned the women into the building.

Todd didn’t wait a single moment before he charged into the chapel with a maniacal laugh, and the succubi both cringed.

Once they realized he had gone through without any problems, they opened their eyes and cautiously made their way into the building.

As soon as I walked inside, the smell of rotting wood and mildew-covered stone hit me like a ton of bricks. This place had to be at least two hundred years old, and it hadn’t been used in decades. The Chapel of the Trinity wasn’t like most modern-day churches, where people held potlucks and rummage sales and community events. This was a simple place of worship, through and through. The main entrance led directly into the chapel where broken pews were blackened and moldy. Rubble from the half-collapsed roof was littered throughout the building, leaving a massive hole in the ceiling of the Chapel.

Being a Catholic church, statues were located along the walls at nearly every ten-foot interval, as well as on both sides of the stage. Each of them looked like they had once been magnificent structures made of marble and hand-crafted by the finest artisans of their generation. Now, they were little more than pedestals with a crumbling mass of deformed stone figures at their top. The remnants of the broken marble lined the floor along the outer edge of the pews.

“If I was a hidden library full of Vatican secrets, where would I hide?” Todd pondered and tapped his chin with a chubby finger.

“I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure,” I said as I looked around the abandoned building. “This place gives me the creeps.”

“You’ve literally fought Bull-dudes and demon pimps, but this is the place that gives you the heebie-jeebies?” Todd giggled.

“I dunno. I was running on pure adrenaline when I fought those guys,” I shrugged. “This chapel just gives me an eerily calm vibe. It’s unsettling, that’s all.”

“We could try to comfort you, if you’d like,” Libidine said as she turned her head down towards the floor and looked up at me with her big eyes.

“Demons having sex in a church? I’d really prefer to not burst into flames today.” I laughed.

“Guys, I think I’ve found something!” Cupiditas called from behind the altar on the stage.

Liby, Todd, and I dashed over to the blonde, and our footsteps echoed on the broken-down mosaic floor tile. Cupi had gone behind the altar and knelt down beside the decaying marble structure. Her eyes were closed as she felt around the cold tile beneath it.

“Now’s not the time to be finding religion, sister,” Libidine joked.

“Shush now.” Cupi shot back. “The floor is uneven under this tile. I’m just trying to see if-- Aha!”

The blonde succubus grasped a piece of the decrepit flooring that had been jutting up from the ground. In one motion, she broke off the tile and revealed an etching underneath. She kept at it until every piece of the material surrounding the marble podium was removed. Each section that was pulled up revealed a new part of a pattern that was etched into the stony floor. Cupi let out a sigh as she pulled up the final piece and then sat back on her knees to admire her work.

“Do any of you recognize this symbol?” Cupi shook her head back and forth in amusement.

A circle encased the altar. Much like the Key of Solomon, this design had inscriptions all along the outer ring. The altar itself sat at the very center of the protective circle, surrounded by an off-kilter square whose corners touched the inner side of the circle and was itself surrounded by more inscriptions. A final, double-layered circle encased the entire base of the podium.

“It’s the Fifth Pentacle of Saturn,” Todd couldn’t believe his eyes. “It was one of Solomon’s magic circles used to protect a home and one’s possessions from any demonic influence.”

“Fifth Pentacle?” I asked.

“Yep.” The imp nodded. “There are seven Pentacles in total. They can either be drawn around objects or worn on the spellcaster as an amulet. They all do different mystical shit.”

“Can we just burn the pattern off the ground?” Libidine asked as she summoned red flames into her hand. “It seemed to work for Earl.”

“Absolutely not!” Cupi warned and pushed down her sister’s weapon. “If a Pentacle gets destroyed, then whatever it’s protecting is destroyed, as well.”

“Like an ultimate ‘Fuck You’ to demons who try to get around them,” I added. “How do we get in?”

“We don’t, Jacob,” Cupi explained. “You do. You may be a mortal with demonic powers, but you’re still a mortal. You should be safe to enter.”

“Should?” I questioned.

“No time to argue.” Cupiditas pushed aside my query. “We need to get this altar moved. Sister?”

Libidine nodded at the blonde’s words. She outstretched her hands as her eyes began to glow with green flames. The crumbling altar was encased with the glow of the succubus’ telekinesis, and I heard a faint rumble in the air. Liby slowly lifted both shimmering hands into the sky. The altar lifted into the air, its base whining as it was pulled loose from the floor, and Libidine slowly moved over to the side of the stage. There, where the structure once stood, was a small circular wheel similar to that of a submarine’s hatch.

“Welp, I guess I’ll see you guys on the other side,” I quipped.

Cupiditas nodded. “If you find anything that looks important, teleport it up to us so we can sift through it. We may not be able to travel down there, but we can still cover more ground that way.”

I sauntered over to the wheel, took a deep breath, and then reached down. The metal of the lever was cold and slimy, and my hands nearly slipped off when I tried to turn the mechanism. I readjusted my grip and heaved the wheel clockwise. There was a loud metallic groan as the mechanism moved with my motions, but after the first rotation or two, the wheel gave no resistance whatsoever.

Dust sprayed up from the outermost ring of the seal as the entire hatch lurched upwards on its hinge. With one last heave, I yanked the Fifth Pentacle open to reveal a long, narrow tunnel with a ladder. All three of my friends looked at me in concern as I squatted down on the floor and threw my lower half into the tunnel.

“Good luck, Jacob,” Libidine encouraged me. “We’ll hold down the fort here until you get back.”

I gave the group a final nod before I began to descend the ladder and into the abyss. As each foot clanged on the rusty rungs beneath me, I wondered how long this thing had been sitting here as well as just how rickety it’d become. The rungs groaned loudly with each step, and I started to get concerned that it wasn’t going to hold up for the hundreds, if not thousands, of feet that I still needed to go. The entire Chapel of the Trinity was crumbling, and I was sure that the centuries-old tunnels in its bowels were no exception. For all I knew, they might have already caved in. But this was our best shot at taking down Azazel, so I had to continue.

My hands scraped against the corroded metal, each touch sending flakes of rusted iron into the air. The tunnel around me was not much wider than I was, and I couldn’t imagine a larger person trying to get down here. Then again, if most demons were as hulking as Gallu, I could understand the design.

As I adjusted my weight to move my right leg downward, I heard the sound nobody on a ladder wanted to hear: a metallic pop. The rung that held my left hand broke loose from the wall, and my feet slipped out from under me. I clung to the ladder for dear life with my right hand as the momentum smashed my body violently into the wall of the tunnel behind me.

As I struggled for breath and tried to scramble back onto the small rungs, I began to panic and hyperventilate. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were closing in on me like the iris of a camera. I desperately heaved my feet toward the ladder, but they continued to slide off with each attempt. My palms had gotten sweaty, and I could feel my fingers struggling to hold my weight as they slid further and further off the rung.

There was only one way out of this. Just as my right hand lost its grip, I conjured up a jade flame around myself. My body became weightless for a moment, and I let out a sigh of relief. If I wanted to get down to the ground safely and efficiently, I was going to have to use my green Hellfire magic to lower myself down like I’d done at the Excalibur. I did so, and soon felt my feet land on the soft dirt of the ground, and I released my spell.

There was no light in the bowels of the Chapel, so it looked like I was going to have to create my own. I thought back to the succubi in the car and conjured a wave of red Hellfire into my hands. My torch hands outstretched to reveal a short hallway connected to a dark room. I walked through the broken-down rockwork of the walls around me for what felt like two-hundred feet or so. Finally, I found myself in a massive pit of darkness at the hall’s end that was somehow even darker than the rest of the building. I dug down deeper into my passions to intensify the fire in my hand. The flickering flames illuminated the room, and I found myself in a library that was bigger than most modern-day houses.

This must have been the archives.

I quelled the flames in my right hand and began rummaging through the old texts that sat before me. Without my friends present, it was difficult to distinguish which ones were crucial and which ones were just ancient rubbish. Some of these could have been recipe books instructing us how to make the Pope’s favorite chili for all I knew. My Latin was rusty, but I could make out enough of the wording on some of the books and the scrolls that I was at least able to make some educated guesses. Words like “Demons” or “Spells” or “Vatican” or “History” all seemed like they could be important, so I used my emerald flame to teleport them up to the succubi and Todd.

I had probably been down in the catacombs for at least an hour when I finally stopped to take a break. Even though I’d been searching diligently, I still had five more walls worth of material to go through.

I was starting to grow impatient. We could go through this way quicker if we knew what we were looking for or if I had more hands.

Fuck it, I was going to teleport the whole collection.

I closed my eyes, stuck out both of my open palms, and extinguished the red flame. In the deepest pit of my being, I brought forth feelings of envy and disgust. I thought about how Earl had hurt Cupi. About how Azazel kept trying to take away the only things in this world that made me happy. How he wasn’t going to stop until I was dead, and how it was up to us to stop him.

Not the forces of Heaven, not the military. Two succubi, a mortal, and his imp. That was some bullshit.

The entire archival room lit up with the roaring green flames that sprouted from my hands. Each ball of fire expanded and traveled down my arm as my entire body was engulfed with emerald embers. I felt weightless once more, and then my body rose into the air like a marionette.

As my eyes opened, I felt more powerful than I had ever been. I clenched my fists closed, and the entire wall of books vanished with a poof of smoke.

I concentrated my energy on my own body, and I could feel my spirit traveling through space and time. Finally, I appeared in the main part of the chapel above the gigantic pile of books I had just transported. I released myself from the spell and tumbled down the mountain of books onto the ground safely.

“That’s one way to make an entrance.” Todd chuckled as he jumped up from his makeshift desk at one of the pews.

“I got lonely,” I said as I stood up and brushed off the dirt and cobwebs from my shoulder. “Have you guys found anything yet?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” Cupi nodded grimly.

“Unfortunately?” I asked.

“Let me show you.”

She walked toward me holding an antique text that was bound with a grey covering. As I took the book from her, I could feel its age. The cover was coated with a thick layer of grime, and the material looked like it was made from some sort of lambskin.

Todd scuttled over to show off what they had found inside. “Here, let me get that for you.” He giggled.

Todd blew on the cover of the text and sent a thick layer of dust into the air. He giggled as he stood back and let the succubi open it to the page they had referred to.

“See this here?” Cupi explained as she pointed at the words on the page. “It talks about when Azazel and the rest of the demons were banished to Earth Realm at the end of our Revolution.”

“Okay.” I coughed from inhaling the dust. “I thought we already knew that?”

Liby took over now. “We did, but there’s a passage here that caught our attention. This book was written in the 1500s. It says that the demons faced by our forefathers still walk amongst us today and are infiltrating our society to bring about its destruction.”

“So? That’s just general religious zealot nonsense.” I shrugged. “You can hear that by turning on the TV to a megachurch channel.”

“That’s what we thought, as well, but...” Cupiditas grabbed another book from the broken pew at her side. “This book was written in 1982. Check it out.”

“1982? So somebody has been here in the last hundred years,” I joked as I took the text from the blonde.

This book looked and felt like it was still in near-pristine condition, even though it had been sitting in a dusty archive for years. The pages were still crisp, and the cover was worn but not ragged. I examined the page in front of me, and what I read nearly caused me to drop the book in shock.

It was a list of well-known public figures from the seventies and eighties, including mob bosses, politicians, CEOs of multimillion-dollar companies, and even a few celebrities from TV and movies. The shocking part was there, next to their name, was a single line.

Confirmed Demon.

“I don’t believe it…” I muttered to the succubi.

“I told you, bro, but you said I was just crazy.” Todd shrugged as he kicked back on a rotting pew.

“What you’ve read from the ancient texts and heard from your modern-day preachers appears to be true, Jacob,” Liby consoled. “Demons have infiltrated your society and have made it all the way to the top.”

I sat down next to Todd on the pew and hoped that it was still sturdy enough to support our weight.

“Even if the book was written in the eighties, these hidden demons have to still be around today,” I growled. “Think of all the horrible shit in this world that could have been prevented if these asshole demons would have just stayed in Hell.”

“Maybe somebody up there is trying to tell you something, Jakey.” Todd picked at his teeth with his claw.

“We still need to find the spell that can kill Azazel,” I said as I stood up from the pew and returned to the books. “And while we’re at it, maybe we can find something to deal with those other demons, too.”

“That’s what I like to hear!” the blonde succubus exclaimed as she ran over to the pile of books and started to look them over.

“I’m with you till the end, master.” Libidine said as she joined her friend at my side.

“Fuck it.” Todd shrugged and then waltzed over to our position. “We’ve come this far, haven’t we?”

The four of us took a deep dive into the texts before us and spent hours upon hours sifting through them in various states of drowsiness. I was still going through the books when I noticed rays of sunlight starting to peek through the stained glass windows of the Chapel of the Trinity. It made for a beautiful yet haunting scene, the rays of light illuminating the once-elegant architecture of the building and the marvels that dwelled within.

Cupi and Todd both sat on the stairs of the stage, comically passed out over the books they had been studying like students cramming for an exam. Libidine snuggled up to me as we paused to enjoy the scene in front of us. After we had taken in the sights of the dawning day, we went back to work.

About thirty minutes later, Libidine let out a loud “Aha!” that resonated through the empty chapel and woke up our friends. Todd rubbed his eyes tiredly, and Cupi stood up and stretched with a yawn. I sauntered over, half-asleep, to see what the succubus had found.

“It’s a banishment spell meant to be used on the more powerful demon overlords,” she bounced happily at her discovery. “It was in one of the newer books, so I’m guessing it was created specifically to get rid of those demons in disguise that are still here on Earth Realm. It says here that it can be used to send overlords back to Hell, but it can also disintegrate lower-level demons and mortals who defend them!”

“That could have been really useful to have a few days ago.” I laughed. “So, how do you cast it?”

“That’s the thing,” she said with a frown. “It says here that only one who is pure of heart and has the power of a thousand spirits can perform the spell. If not…”

“Then poof!” Todd chuckled as he threw a handful of dust into the air.

“For lack of better words, yes,” Liby said with utter seriousness. “You die horrifically.”

“But it does work, right? Could it work against Azazel?” I questioned.

“I guess so.” The dark-haired succubus shrugged. “But it’d be risky.”

“Come on, Liby,” I joked. “You should know by now that ‘risk-taking’ is my middle name!”

“I thought it was Charles?” Todd snickered.

“Har har,” I playfully mocked the imp. “How do we cast it?”

Libidine hesitated, but then read the passage. “To cast a spell of this magnitude, the user must first call upon the energy of any metaphysical entity that fights alongside him. Then, he must use that energy to channel his spirit, his entire being, towards the demon in question. Finally, he must say the words Eieci te ad infernum unde venistis. If done correctly, lesser beings will be destroyed, and the more powerful entities will be sent back to the pits of Hell.”

“You think your three years of Latin are good enough to remember that, Jakey?” Todd laughed.

“It’ll have to do. If we want any chance of defeating--” I started, but my words were cut off by a booming, searing noise from outside.

The four of us ran to the door of the chapel to see what caused the commotion, and I couldn’t help but gasp in horror.

Outside stood a large demon that could tower over even the tallest basketball player in the world. He must have been at least eight feet tall and built like a tank. The demon’s skin was bright red, and his exposed torso was ripped with powerful muscles. On his head, he had two long, curved black horns whose tips nearly came together above his head to make a singular antler. The demon’s lower half was covered with a sort of chainmail armor that glinted in the morning sun.

Beside him stood a younger-looking woman with rose-red hair and a cherubesque face, and I instantly recognized her as the succubus madame, Superbia. She was completely naked, her tiny, frail body exposed to the cool night air of the wilderness around her. The succubus madame looked nearly comical next to her mammothly-tall master, as she was only about five feet in height herself. The woman may have looked innocent, but she was suspending a man in the air with a black flame as he kicked and gasped for breath.

It was Thomas Parker, the paranormal investigator we had met earlier.

“Is that who I think it is?” My heart dropped as I asked the question.

“Azazel,” Cupiditas confirmed as the color drained from her face.

Chapter 22

“Jacob Ralston!” Azazel’s deep, demonic voice boomed like thunder throughout the Chapel of the Trinity. “Azazel, Father of Warfare and King of the Fourth Circle, demands an audience.”

“I think I’m good right here!” I tried my best to joke at the demon, but my voice came out shaky. “It’s actually pretty cozy once you get past the mildew and the leaky ceilings. Thanks anyway!”

Even I was rattled by the creature’s intimidating presence.

“Your feeble attempts at humor will get you nowhere, mortal,” he balked. “You have something that belongs to me. Two things, actually.”

“Look, Azazel, I’ve been over this multiple times with every single asshole you’ve sent after me,” I called out from the doorway. “Cupi and Liby are staying right where they are!”

“Cupiditas, Libidine.” Superbia now spoke up. “It’s time to come home, girls. You’ve had your fun. Is a mere mortal man worth an eternity of suffering?”

“If you’d seen what we have, you’d want to stay too, Sister Superbia!” Libidine responded.

“I expected Libidine to be so simple, but you too, Cupiditas? I expected much more of you.” Superbia shook her head back and forth.

“Jacob is a wonderful master, Sister.” Cupi spat. “He’s ten times the man Earl ever was. He’s our friend and our lover.”

“Return to me, my succubi,” Azazel interjected. “I will show you what a night with a real man is like. The mortal is not long for this world, anyway.”

“We have already made our decision,” Liby shook her head. “Besides, Jacob’s dick is way bigger than yours.”

“You dare insult me?” Azazel’s purple eyes turned bright red as they started to glow with Hellfire.

He slammed his foot into the ground, and the entire Chapel started to shake like it was being assaulted by a massive earthquake. Then, with just a quick flick of his wrist, he unleashed a mammoth fireball at our position. The flame crashed into the steeple of the Chapel, and it lit up like dry tinder that was stored in the desert. The wooden structure cracked, popped, and then disintegrated into ash in an instant.

“I had considered making you an offer, mortal,” Azazel bellowed with rage. “But now I’m going to rip you limb from limb and feast upon your bones! Your skull will make a fine drinking cup, and your manhood will be crushed underneath my boot!”

“Let me try one last time, Azazel,” Superbia tried to calm the angry demon before she turned back to the church. “Girls, you need to let us in. You know what the King of the Fourth Circle is capable of. The mortal is done for, but there might still be a chance for you. Please come out!”

“I still can’t believe that’s your madame,” I whispered to Libidine. “She looks like she’s half my age.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” the succubus explained. “Sister Superbia thousands of years old.”

“She just likes to keep herself looking as young as possible.” Cupiditas shrugged. “A lot of men like it that way.”

As the three of us were talking about the succubus madame, Todd had managed to hoist himself up into an open window just large enough to fit his impish body, and he put his free hand up to his mouth to form a makeshift bullhorn.

“Look, bro,” he addressed Azazel. “The ladies already said no. The four of us already fucked up everybody you sent after us, and we’ll fuck you up, too. Don’t make me bust out my super-awesome karate skills.”

“An imp. How charming,” Azazel mocked as he pulled out a piece of parchment from his torso armor.

“Awww, he’s so cute!” Superbia cooed and then shut up instantly when the demon shot her a dirty look.

“Fuck you, bro.” Todd stuck up his middle finger. “You can’t get in here without a warrant. And even if you did, there’s four of us and only two of you!”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Azazel’s mouth contorted into a devilish grin as the words slipped out.

The demon cracked his neck back and forth and then raised his hands into the sky. What looked like a green lightning bolt crackled down from above into his open palms, forming an enormous ball of emerald flame. Azazel thrust his arms down and sent the spell into the grass around the church. The green fire surrounded the building as the Earth began to rumble. All around the outside of the Chapel, there was a scratching sound. Hundreds, if not thousands, of mounds began to bubble up from beneath the field and then clawed, red hands sprang forth with a spray of dirt and rock. Out of each mound crawled some sort of nightmarish Hellspawn without any distinguishing features. They all looked like a larger, muscular, evil version of Todd. The New England wilderness was filled with the hisses and inhuman screams of the creatures as they demanded blood.

“Now, about that warrant…” Azazel smiled and waved the paper back and forth triumphantly. “Your friend here was more than happy to write me one.”

“Can… Am I free to go now?” Thomas Parker coughed through the black flames. “I showed you where the Chapel was, and I wrote you that warrant so you could go in.”

Azazel nodded to Superbia, and the young-looking redhead lowered Thomas down to the ground harmlessly.

Slowly, the Paranormal Investigator stood to his feet and began to ease away from the army of demons that had been summoned. As Thomas turned to run away from the horrors in front of him, Azazel caught him around the torso with his massive hand. Then the demon laughed as he lifted the helpless investigator up so that he could be at eye level.

“Foolish mortal,” he cackled. “The Father of Warfare doesn’t barter with human slime like yourself.”

Thomas began to open his mouth to plead, but Azazel’s fist tightened around his waist. The paranormal investigator’s eyes bulged, and his face turned a sickly purple as he drew the last breaths he would ever take. Azazel closed his hand the rest of the way and sent Thomas’ eyeballs shooting out of their sockets like they were champagne corks. The orbs dangled from their retinas halfway down the man’s blue face.

Azazel grabbed the body, one hand on the armpits and the other holding both of the feet, and tore it in half. Crimson sprayed across the demon’s face as Azazel reveled in the gore and happily licked up the splashes that landed on his face with his snake-like tongue.

“Uhhh, that’s not good,” Todd whispered.

“Nope,” I sighed.

The demon lord tossed Thomas’ lower half into the crowd of demons, who swarmed it like a pack of rabid dogs. With his right hand, Azazel grabbed the lumbar that now dangled out of the body and started to swing it around above his head as if it were a lasso. The surrounding demons cheered as pieces of blood and guts showered them. Then Azazel tossed the remaining half of the body off to the side nonchalantly, and I felt my stomach flip flop from the disgusting scene.

“And now, mortal,” the demon turned his booming voice back to us. “It’s your turn!”

“Ah, fuck,” I sighed as Azazel began to lumber towards the door of the church, warrant in hand.

“Azazel, Scourge of the Heavens, I command you to stop!” a thunderous voice rang out from the sky.

A blinding white light appeared directly in front of the Chapel door, and the figure of a tall man came into vision through its shimmer. The light dimmed, and there stood a man with long, dark hair, and a flowing white robe draped around his body. He was clean-shaven, and his skin looked like it was glowing even long after the light had gone.

“Raphael. It’s been awhile, old friend.” Azazel gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes.

“Spare me the pleasantries, demon,” the dark-haired man said with a wave of his hand. “I am here to speak with Jacob.”

Raphael stepped through the threshold of the Chapel of the Trinity. The Archangel seemed to float just above the ground as he continued across the decrepit floor toward our position. He greeted all four of us with a kind bow, one-by-one, before he placed his hands across his chest.

“Do not fall for this demon’s trickery. The paper he has is not legally binding,” the Archangel explained. “This is a holy place, and if he or his minions cross that threshold, the consequences will be dire.”

“So, what, do we just hang out here and hope he goes away?” I questioned.

“I will deal with him, Jacob.” Raphael nodded. “Once he is gone, we can talk business.”

“Business?” Cupi scoffed. “I thought Angels didn’t cut deals with Lucifer’s minions.”

“Ah, Cupiditas.” He clicked his tongue. “Always the one to call people out. Yes, what you say is true. You may come from the pits of Hell, but you are fighting for… a larger purpose.”

The Archangel snapped his fingers and vanished before our eyes. He reappeared in front of Azazel with a flash of white light. The King of the Fourth Circle growled and stamped his foot before waving the warrant in front of Raphael’s face angrily.

“We’ve been over this, Raphael,” he spat. “According to the Heaven-Hell Accords of 1344, a warrant obtained from a mortal by a demon is valid. It’s no different than if he had invited me inside.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Azazel.” The Angel shook his head. “The Heaven-Hell Bilateral Amendments of 1561 clearly states that a warrant taken from a mortal via threat of violence constitutes extortion of the soul and is therefore non-binding!”

“There was no threat of violence, was there, Superbia?” the demon tried to argue.

“You literally ripped the man in half and fed him to your demon horde.” Raphael crossed his arms, not convinced.

“Listen here, Angel.” Azazel pointed his clawed finger at the dark-haired man. “This mortal stole from me and then murdered my men. If that wasn’t bad enough, he had to go and make it personal. I’m going into this church, warrant or not!”

“Bro,” Todd whispered to me. “This is just like this episode of Franklin and Bash that I once dreamed up. They were doing lawyer stuff for Satan, and there were all these hot tubs filled with beautiful women.”

“Not now,” I hissed as I turned back to the conversation between the angel and demon.

“Heaven and Hell have had peace for the last three centuries, Azazel,” Raphael warned. “If you break the compromise by entering this church, you know what happens. Are two succubi and a mortal man worth it?”

“Are they worth it to you?” Azazel sneered. “It’s just one man. Let him die, and we can still have peace.”

“That, my friend, is the difference between us.” Raphael shook his head in disbelief. “To me, every one of God’s children is worth it.”

“Then you will die too!” he Azazel screamed as he lashed out at the angel.

The demon’s fist caught Raphael in the gut and sent him flying across the landscape into the dense forest, and Hellfire began to swirl around Azazel’s body as he let out a primal scream that made the entire wilderness around us tremble. Half of Azazel’s army rushed towards the downed Archangel, while the others ran towards the Chapel of the Trinity.

“Tear them apart!” he roared, and his demons erupted in savage cheers.

“Uhhh, bro?” Todd asked as the horde of demon minions ran toward the front door of the church. “Just how are we gonna beat all these bitches?”

“We’re way stronger now than when we fought Earl. We beat the stacked odds and took out the pimp, and we can sure as fuck take out these rent-a-demons.”

“Fuck yeah!” Todd shouted, and then the two succubi joined in as they raised their fists in the air.

“If we are going to die, then we best go out fighting like the warriors that we are!” Cupiditas yelled in support and then turned to Liby. “Come, sister, let’s show Azazel’s minions who they are dealing with.”

“With you till the end, Cupi,” Libidine agreed.

“Jacob, there are three main entry points to this building.” Cupi explained. “Liby and I can both take one, do you think you can hold the third?”

“I’ll do my damndest,” I replied.

“Good. Together, we will take these fuckers down,” she said as her wings sprouted from her back.

“I think you’re rubbing off on her.” Liby gave a weak smile before her bat-like wings carried her up so that she could guard the opening in the ceiling.

“That just leaves the back door,” I gulped. “Todd, are you with me?”

“You’re the Rob Schneider to my Adam Sandler,” he said. “You can be in all my movies, bro.”

“That’s the spirit.” I smiled and raised my fist. “All for one and one for all.”

“Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno!” Todd replied with a smirk as he nodded to me. “Let’s do this.”

The imp and I sprinted toward the rear of the chapel, and I reached down into my very being to summon my powers. A dull throbbing sensation pushed against my temples as the blue horns sprouted.

“Am I just baked, or are those things bigger than before?” Todd asked inquisitively.

“I’m hoping that just means my powers are stronger than before.” I looked ahead at the onslaught of demons approaching. “We’re going to need it. Ready?”

As the first few demons entered through the door, I tossed up a few platforms of purple in ascending order. The imp leaped up them and then flipped over the group as he fired off a flurry of fireballs in succession. Like clockwork, six demons let out a scream of pain as smoke poured out of their wounds and they fell to the ground dead.

There were still about six or seven demons left rushing toward me. As the first one jumped into the air for the kill, I summoned a fireball with my left hand and incinerated him into a crispy pile of ash. At the same time, I threw out my right hand to conjure up a green spell at the three creatures who approached to my left. I lifted them up into the sky with my telekinetik fire and then closed my fists. The jade flame closed around them and crushed their bodies into heaps of bone and gore.

The fifth and sixth creatures were just about on me, so I let out a whistle to attract Todd’s attention and cast emerald flames around them so that they were transported directly in front of the imp. Todd struck both creatures in the throat with his dagger-like claws, and they crumpled to the floor.

“I hate to break it to you, Jakey,” Todd pointed back towards the door, “but there’s a lot more where that came from!”

“Fish in a barrel?” I asked.

“Fish in a barrel,” Todd clicked his tongue and shot me a finger gun.

The imp scurried off to the right and vanished into the air right as another large group of demons came crashing through the door. This horde had to be at least three times the size of the last, and the monsters were now ravenous.

I cast up two violet barriers on each side of the group to create a makeshift hallway that would funnel them towards my position. From above, baseball-sized balls of flame whisked through the air and struck the skulls of a few of the creatures. Some of the monsters tried to jump up and swipe at the unseen imp, but they had no idea where he was positioned.

My left hand still extended, I conjured up a massive ball of red Hellfire and launched it down the hallway. It tore through the remaining creatures, setting them ablaze. They scratched at the barriers as they tried to flee from their fate, but to no avail.

Todd reappeared beside me as another wave entered between the violet flames and pulled at my pants leg. “Why don’t you give ‘em the ‘ol printing press?”

“You’re a genius, Todd.” I smiled as I realized what he meant.

Todd and I both started to run backward, and I created a longer and longer barrier as we went. After we had run about sixty feet, the two walls ran half the length of the church and were filled with dozens of the red devils. I closed my eyes and reached down to think about what was at stake, and the violet embers burned brighter and brighter in my hands. I opened my eyes and clapped my two palms together in unison.

The flaming barriers followed my motion, quickly slamming shut on the demons who were between them. Screams of agony rang out as the creatures were smashed, every bone in their body reduced to dust, and every organ flattened. When I finally dispelled the walls, blackish-red gore crashed into the ground with a visceral splat.

“Look out!” Cupiditas called out from behind, and I turned around to see six of the devils leaping through the air directly towards us. A massive blue flame of Cupi’s time spell caught them from behind, and the creatures were put into suspended animation.

Todd ripped out the throats of two of them and then blasted a fireball between the eyes of the third. Then I reached out and placed both of my flaming red hands on the others, and my touch seared the demons’ faces before it set their entire body aflame.

An enchanted green pew, broken at the end to form a makeshift spear, flew past my right side and skewered five or six more demons against the stone wall.

“Nice shot, Liby!” I exclaimed to the succubus.

“We are making great headway!” she called out from above. “Azazel’s forces are thinning by the minute!”

I looked to Cupiditas as she threw both of her hands down into the ground and summoned up what could only be described as a tidal wave of fire. The ripple of red flames traveled across the floor of the church and engulfed numerous demons as they tried to enter the chapel.

More of the fuckers entered from the rear, and I had to spray them with a shot of Hellfire to melt them in their tracks.

We were killing these fuckers, but they just kept on coming. As soon as they fell, a dozen more seemed take their place.

“Hey Liby, can you give me some spears?” I yelled.

A handful of tiny yellow spears shot in my direction, and I cast an emerald flame around the projectiles. The attack was redirected towards the minions who had just run through the back door. One by one, they fell as the razor-sharp projectiles pierced through their skulls.

As they fought, I noticed something miraculous. The girls finally had their horns. Theirs looked somewhat different from mine. Cupi and Liby’s headwear curled outward in a spiral pattern like a ram, while my blue horns were more similar to Azazel’s, curved and facing upward. Something about seeing the succubi sprout their horns was satisfying. When we fought Earl, our relationship was still budding. Now, we were much more intimately connected, and our powers were working together in full force.

“It looks like we can all be horny together now!” I joked as I took out another cluster of monsters with my Hellfire.

“That’s the Jacob we know and love!” Liby smiled widely as she slammed a demon into the wall with her telekinesis and snapped his neck.

A blast of what sounded like a trombone rang out, and the demons who were swarming the church froze. Without warning, the creatures left alive turned around and retreated back towards their master.

Cupi and Liby flew up out of the missing ceiling to see what was going on while Todd and I rushed out the front door.

Raphael had apparently recovered and made quick work of the demons, and he and Azazel were locked in an epic duel on the outskirts of the church property.

The Archangel had ditched his robe. Now he wore a slick, white SWAT-like armor set complete with a bulletproof vest and weapons galore. Raphael soared through the sky, borne by wings of brilliant, angelic white. Azazel tried to knock him out of the air with various attacks of red, blue, silver, and even black Hellfire, but Raphael was too quick. The demons that we had been fighting now ran towards the Archangel to save their master.

“Azazel is such a pussy.” Todd shook his head.

“I can’t say I blame him.” Cupiditas said as she and Liby landed beside us. “Raphael’s already kicked his ass once before.”

The four of us chased the demons as we hurled any projectile we could conjure. Even as their comrades fell, the creatures didn’t break their stride or turn their attention away from Raphael.

A wall of purple flames shot up in front of us, and it took everything in our power to stop ourselves from smashing into it. Superbia stepped out from behind a tree, and her hand aglow with violet flames.

“Sister, do not make us fight you,” Libidine pleaded. “Can’t you see that you’re on the wrong side?”

Superbia snapped her fingers, and the purple barrier started to bend at the center and snap closed on us like a mousetrap. Before we were crushed by the fire, I cast a group teleport and sent the four of us behind the naked redhead.

Cupiditas unleashed a wave of blue flame on her sister, and the young woman froze in place.

“Sister, please,” she pleaded. “Azazel is a monster. Why do you continue to serve him?”

The madame’s eyes glowed black as matching dark fire emerged from her palms and covered her tiny body, breaking Cupi’s spell. She landed on the ground harmlessly and didn’t even take a moment to reorient herself before she turned her protective aura into a deadly attack.

Libidine pushed herself off the ground into the sky to avoid the blast, and the grass withered and died the instant the pitch-black fire struck it. As Liby took off, she unleashed a slew of her golden darts at her former partner, accompanied by a ring of fire that I had summoned.

The enemy succubus rolled out of the way at the last second, but Cupi used this distraction to pounce on the woman like a panther. The redhead and the blonde rolled around on the ground as they struggled, but Cupi was finally able to gain the upper hand and pinned Superbia to the ground.

“You know what Azazel will do to you, right?” the redhead pleaded, nearly in tears. “I only want what is best for you girls. It’s my job to protect you, and siding with a mortal against him isn’t in your best interest.”

Superbia tried to break out from Cupi’s grip, but the blonde reaffirmed her dominance and pushed the madame’s wrists back into the ground.

“I understand that, sister,” she said through gritted teeth. “But Jacob has done more for us in the last week than Earl or Azazel or Lilith has in our entire lifetime.”

“He treats us very well, Superbia,” Libidine added as she landed beside the two struggling succubi. “Better than anyone has ever treated us, and we’re happy with him. You say you want what’s best for us, but isn’t this it? To be happy and protected by a kind soul?”

“But Azazel…” Superbia argued.

“Fuck Azazel!” Cupiditas spat. “I’d rather die than spend another day under his twisted rule. I saw it in your eyes when he tore that man apart earlier. You don’t stay with him out of affection or loyalty. You stay because you’re afraid.”

“And so should you, Cupiditas!” the redhead sneered. “I’ve seen him do things much, much worse than what he did to that poor man back there. That will be you if you don’t submit to his authority.”

“I’ve already accepted my fate.” Cupi glared. “If we are meant to die, then at least I’ll go out on my own terms.”

“Now she’s even starting to sound like Jacob!” Todd laughed.

“Is this how you feel as well, Libidine?” The redhead stopped struggling and looked over at the succubus with the bat wings.

“I do, Superbia.” Liby nodded in agreement. “What happens will happen, but if this really is the end of the line, at least I can say I have no regrets.”

Cupiditas released her grip on her madame, who now showed no signs of resistance whatsoever. Then the two women stood up, and Superbia started to rub at the dirt that was smudged all over her skin. Her petite breasts jiggled furiously as she scrubbed, and I had to do my best not to stare at the woman who moments ago was threatening to kill us. The succubus had a tiny, cute body, but she still was devastatingly sexy.

“Will you join us then, sister?” Libidine asked the redhead.

“We will see, Libidine.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I want to be on the winning side of this particular battle. But I will say that I hope it’s your friend who emerges victorious. Good luck, Jacob.”

The redhead nodded and then pointed in the direction of the commotion. Todd, the succubi, and I took off towards the swarm of Azazel’s demons.

As we ran up to the group, Raphael was emptying magazine after magazine of enchanted bullets on the demons and Azazel below him.

Azazel was finally able to land a blow on his airborne target when his green fireball halted the hailstorm of bullets in front of him, and he turned them around at Raphael. The Archangel tried to dodge, but several of the shots punched holes in his wings and sent him spiraling towards the ground.

Raphael was able to slow his descent by adjusting his body so that he was gliding rather than falling. He threw his hands out in front of his body and conjured up a dagger with a white flame. As he passed by the demon’s position, Raphael swiped at the King of the Fourth Circle with his weapon and left a massive gash across his face. He turned so that he could go upwards again and hung in the air for a second before he turned back towards his enemy below.

The second time the Archangel swooped down for the strike, Azazel caught him by the arm. He knocked Raphael’s gun out of his hand and began to pummel the Angel’s face, each blow from his massive fists sending crimson mist into the air.

Desperate to escape the assault, Raphael broke free with a knee to the demon’s stomach and caused the mammoth of a creature to double over in pain. While Azazel was momentarily distracted, the Archangel grabbed what looked like a taser out of his tactical vest and ignited it as he rammed it into the demon’s throat. Azazel’s body lit up with a white light as the electric-like plasma engulfed his body, and he let out a howl of pain.

Azazel desperately lashed out with his right hand, and the blow struck Raphael on the chin and threw the dark-haired man out into the horde of approaching demons, who swarmed the Archangel with rabid glee.

As Raphael struggled to fight off the monsters, Azazel started to make a run for it.

“Oh, no you don’t, motherfucker,” I said under my breath and then looked back at my friends. “Can you help Raphael with crowd control?”

“Of course,” Cupi agreed. “Where are you-- Oh, Jacob, please don’t tell me you’re thinking of going after Azazel!”

“We have to make sure that he doesn’t get away,” I said as I ran towards the area in the treeline where the demon had disappeared. “If he does, this has all been for nothing.”

“Can I have your video games if you die?” I heard Todd’s voice faintly joke as I sprinted into the tree line.

The wilderness seemed to be thicker than before. Somehow, I thought that traversing this area in the daylight would have been easier than it had been at night. In a bizarre way, it was even worse now that I could see just how many possible routes the coward could have taken. Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to spot where Azazel had been. He was a massive demon, so anywhere he ran, he left broken saplings and stomped down bushes in his wake. I continued to push through the brush until I stumbled out into an old graveyard that was hidden away in the woods. Azazel stood across the way, his hands across his chest.

He was waiting for me.

“Now what, mortal?” he mocked.

I drew summoned red-hot Hellfire into my hands, and my eyes narrowed.

“Now? You die, Azazel.”

Chapter 23

“I assumed you had a death wish when they told me you’d defeated Earl,” Azazel chuckled. “But I didn’t realize that you were this much of a masochist. I am the Master of Witchcraft and the Father of Warfare, and you are nothing more than another mortal who will soon be crushed under my hooves!”

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, you Diablo fuck,” I sneered. “Earl and Gallu said the exact same thing to me and look where they are now.”

“You amuse me, mortal.” The demon laughed as his eyes started to glow red. “It’s a shame that you’ll be nothing more than ashes in a few moments.”

Before Azazel could make his move, I hurled a ball of Hellfire right at his assholish face. My attack struck him in the left shoulder, but did no damage whatsoever.

The demon clicked his tongue in amusement before he summoned forth his own massive fiery projectile and then launched it forward. Just as the flames were about to turn me into burnt toast, I cast a purple spell with one hand and a green spell with the other. This created a massive wall of intermixed flames that absorbed the attack and sent it spiraling back toward Azazel.

The demon leapt out of the way as the fireball incinerated the tombstones behind him. Then I cast the teleportation spell in front of me and kicked a nearby loose tombstone into the portal.

Azazel bellowed as he caught the entire headstone in his right palm and then crushed it into dust.

“This is the way you killed my servants?” He shook his head. “This is child’s play! Although I am impressed that a mere mortal can dual-wield his magic.”

Azazel picked up one of the gravestones and chucked it at my position, but I was able to deflect it with a barrier of purple. As the demon tried to launch another concrete frisbee at me, I charged him, encased myself in emerald flame, and reappeared behind the demons bulk. At close range, I unleashed a beam of white-hot fire into Azazel’s back.

My enemy let out a loud grunt of pain and then spun around and hurled his massive fist downwards.

I was just barely able to block it with a flaming violet barrier, but the impact of the blow pushed me downwards into the soft earth and formed a small crater from the shockwave. Azazel started to pummel me rapidly using both of his fists, and each blow to the shield sent my body deeper and deeper into the ground until my entire lower half was almost buried.

I threw up a green portal, and Azazel’s fist passed through all the way to the elbow and then reappeared on his left side. The demon’s eyes widened as his own punch knocked out a couple of his teeth and sent a cloud of blackish-red mist spraying out of his mouth.

I teleported myself behind Azazel once more and unleashed a flurry of red Hellfire. Each ball of flame hit the disoriented demon and forced him to stumble forward and eventually fall over. I shot out my left hand and encased my target with purple flames while at the same time using my telekinetic powers to hurl tombstones at his body. Each one struck Azazel, but they didn’t appear to be doing much damage.

“Now I’m starting to have fun.” Azazel pursed his lips in delight and then flexed his muscles and shattered the violet barrier around him.

The demon continued to laugh gleefully as he outstretched his hands in front of him, illuminated them with red Hellfire, and then spread them apart. As he did so, he summoned forth a massive broadsword that glowed red-hot with enchantment. Azazel wrapped his right hand around the hilt and then readied the weapon against the ground.

“It’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it.” I shrugged. “At least, I’m sure that’s what you tell yourself every day.”

Azazel roared at my joke and then charged. Just before his broadsword connected with my back, I pulled out the ground from underneath my feet with emerald flames and transported myself across the graveyard to safety. The sword slammed into a nearby tree and sliced through it like a hot knife through butter. I shuddered to think what would have happened had I been a second or two later.

“You’re gonna have to catch me first, asshole,” I taunted.

“That is what they are for, fool,” Azazel sneered.

The demon raised his left hand into the air and summoned up an orange flame. He chanted a few words in Latin before his enchanted fist began to spark and send beams of orange fire into the ground at the bases of each tombstone. The concrete markers cracked in half from the raw energy, and the Earth began to tremble.

I tried to interrupt his spell with another beam of fire, but he blocked it away with his broadsword. The orange spell hit a crescendo, and from below the Earth, there came a rustling sound.

All across the graveyard, the spirits of the dead began to rise out of their graves surrounded by an orange glow. Each spirit took the shape of a human, but with one major difference. They all had glowing red eyes, and pieces of rotted flesh hung off their bodies. Each spirit floated above the ground lifelessly as if they were mere puppets on a string, guided by their puppet master, Azazel.

There had to be at least fifty in total.

“Necromancy is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?” the demon said with a devilish smile.

Azazel pointed at me, and all the reanimated spirits turned their heads, and their body to stare at their new target. The zombie closest to me charged, and the other forty-nine followed suit. I shot out a red flame and caught a handful of the ghosts before they could do any damage. The crimson Hellfire tangled with the orange flame of necromancy, and then the spirits let out a moan and dissolved into thin air.

One of the specters caught me from behind and thrust its open mouth down towards my shoulder. Before his teeth could tear at my flesh, my entire body became engulfed with a white-hot flame, and the spirit wailed as it burst into oblivion. I pulled together all of my strength and unleashed a massive blast of white fire onto the remaining specters, incinerating them all as their ghostly screams of agony filled the air.

All the spirits had been destroyed, and it was once again just me and Azazel.

“Truly remarkable. No wonder Raphael has taken such an interest in you.” Azazel stroked his chin as he pondered my skill set. “A mortal that can control the powers of both Hell and Heaven.”

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

“Oh, this is delicious,” Azazel chuckled. “And ironic. You could be one of the most powerful magic users the world has ever seen. Instead, you’re going to be slain by the Master of Witchcraft himself!”

The demon snapped his fingers, and a cube of purple flame appeared around my body. Azazel held his thumb and index finger in front of his left eye and started to bring them closer and closer together. As he did so, the cube around me began to shrink.

With a flick of my wrist, I conjured four barriers of my own and tried to push back against my adversary’s advancing death trap. Even using all of my feelings hidden deep down in my psyche, it wasn’t enough. The walls slowed but continued to close in. I tried to cast a transportation spell, but because I was trapped inside of Azazel’s magical box, it was to no avail.

“Jacob, don’t give up,” a voice whispered in my head. “This is the Archangel Raphael. We are going to give you our strength as if it was your own.”

“We?” I questioned.

“The succubi, the imp, and myself,” he confirmed.

“Raph, you have no idea how much I’d appreciate that right now!” I grunted as I tried to push back against the walls.

My body was now in a near-fetal position.

My temples began to throb, and I could feel a surge of newfound energy surge through me. The shimmer of the white flame solidified into a sort of protective forcefield, and there was a deafening beating in my ears as it intensified. The energy shield expanded outwards, shattering Azazel’s purple prison into a million pieces.

“Round two, motherfucker!” I exclaimed as I fired off a blast of the white-hot energy.

Azazel threw up his sword to block, but the attack was too powerful. The demon cried out as he was tossed backward into the line of trees, downing nearly a dozen of them.

I cast an emerald flame and transported myself over to the demon’s position before he could recover. As I appeared above Azazel, I unleashed a powerful beam of pure white energy directly into his face. The demon screamed in pain as his entire body was lit up with the Heavenly attack and caused him to drop his broadsword.

Then, without warning, Azazel’s hand shot up and grasped my arm from below. The demon squeezed his hand shut around my wrist, and pain shot through my entire right arm as the bones were shattered into dust. With his free hand, Azazel reached up, grabbed my left horn, and snapped it off at its base.

The pain was definitely the worst part on that one.

“Don’t feel too bad,” he cackled. “You put up more of a fight than most of my enemies. Alas, all good things must come to an end. See you in Hell, Jacob Ralston!”

Hell. That was it.

Azazel reached down and picked up his broadsword as he released me from his grip.

I smashed into the ground right on my broken hand and nearly passed out from the pain. I closed my eyes and thought about everything I was about to lose. If I was dead, who would take care of Cupi and Liby? Who would keep Todd out of trouble? How would any of my friends make it in this world without me? What if they were caught by Azazel too? My very core bubbled with every emotion in my repertoire. I opened my eyes and locked them with the demon’s.

“Eieci te ad infernum unde venistis!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Azazel screamed in terror as he was surrounded by an angelic white fire. He dropped his sword to the ground as an unseen energy forced him onto his knees. The demon smashed his left fist into the dirt as he tried to fight off the pain of the spell, but it was useless. Azazel’s greaves shone red and seared its pattern into his skin underneath, and the parts of his flesh that were exposed started to burn black in splotches all across his body.

I rose to my feet and was now at eye level with Azazel.

“Eieci te ad infernum unde venistis!” I commanded again.

The white light became even more intense as did the demon’s howls of pain. I extended my remaining hand and encased Azazel in a spray of red Hellfire. The two flames combined to make almost a flaming yin-yang symbol around the fucker who continued to try to fight it off by smashing various body parts into the ground. After about five solid minutes of torture, Azazel collapsed. As soon as he hit the dirt, four strands of enchanted silver ropes sprang forth from the ground and wrapped around each arm and each leg.

“How do you like that, asshole?” I spat on the demon laying on the ground.

“I’ll see you in Hell, mortal,” Azazel wheezed.

The two flames that had surrounded the demon rose up into the sky and merged together to create a portal that looked like a black hole surrounded by a ring of red fire. The spell expanded so that it could fit its target’s massive frame and then began to descend onto his position. Azazel growled in anger and struggled weakly to escape from the silver strands, but it was no use. He let out a weak laugh as the portal surrounded him and sent him back to the nightmarish place where he belonged.

As soon as he was gone, I fell to my knees, exhausted.

I’d done it. Azazel, the King of the Fourth Circle, was banished back to Hell. We were free.

Chapter 24

I stumbled through the wilderness back towards the chapel. The adrenaline high that I was experiencing when fighting Azazel was just starting to wear off, and I was in a world of hurt. The nerve receptors in my horn screamed in pain, and my wrist was numb, but looked gnarly as fuck. I didn’t even know if I had any bones left or if they had all been shattered into microscopic shards. The world started to spin around me, and my vision tunneled as it threatened to go black. Finally, I stumbled out into the clearing where the Chapel of the Trinity stood.

The few remaining demons from Azazel’s army were breathing their final breaths as I approached. Raphael blew a few of their brains out with his weapon while Liby finished off a group of enemies by skewering them with a sharpened tree branch via telekinetic powers.

Finally, the last of Azazel’s minions were gone.

The succubi’s eyes lit up with happiness when they saw me emerge from the tree line, but then contorted into a look of panic and fear when they realized how fucked up I was. I felt the world start to spin as I fell to my knees, and the three girls ran over to my position.

“Jacob! You’re hurt!” Libidine cried out in horror.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” I weakly joked before I started to fall forward.

Thankfully, Cupi caught me, and gently laid me down onto the ground.

“Where is Azazel? Is he…?” Cupiditas began.

“Azazel is gone. The spell worked,” I coughed. “He’s been banished back to Hell.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in ten thousand years.” Cupiditas rubbed my head delicately. “Just wait until you’re all healed up, maybe we can finally do those things you wrote into your contract.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be healing anytime soon.” I nodded down to my broken right hand. “I don’t think there’s even anything left to heal.”

“Nonsense,” Libidine scoffed. “Sister Superbia here can fix anything.”

“Oh?” I questioned as I looked over at the youthful redhead standing to my left.

“Of course, dear.” Superbia giggled. “I’ve been the madame of these succubi for almost a millenia. What kind of caretaker would I be if I didn’t have a way to repair damaged goods?”

She placed both of her hands together, palms facing downwards, and placed them on top of my right hand. Even though she was being careful, her touch made me wince in pain. The redhead closed her eyes and recited an incantation in Latin as golden flames ignited in her palms. I could feel the woman’s touch growing warmer and warmer by the minute, but my hand was still completely numb. The golden fire surrounded my injured fist, and then Superbia moved her hand up my arm slowly.

As she did so, I watched the effect of the spell she had cast on my right wrist with grim curiosity. The swelling began to go down as if the fluids were being drained out of it, and a dull tingling sensation replaced the numbness that I had felt for the last few minutes. Seconds later, my hand was back to normal. I rolled over onto my stomach and hoisted myself back up onto my feet.

I felt as good as new.

“How are you feeling, Jacob?” Superbia asked as she put her hands behind her back bashfully.

“I feel like a million bucks!” I exclaimed as I wrapped my arms around the short succubus.

Superbia’s scent was about as sweet as you could get. A distinct, cupcake-like aroma filled my nostrils as they hovered over her hair. The woman was tiny in my arms, and I worried that if I hugged her too tightly she might break in two. I could feel the erect nipples of her tiny breasts as they rubbed against my pectorals. When I felt a throbbing sensation down south, I knew that it was time for the hug to be over.

There would be plenty of time for that later.

“Darn. Here I thought I was going to get to see the massive member that the other two were telling me all about.” Superbia frowned and crossed her arms.

“You succubi are quite a strange breed,” Raphael observed as he wiped dried demon blood off of his knife. “Always with sin in your thoughts and on your minds.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want a piece of the action, Raphael,” Cupiditas raised her eyebrows at the Archangel. “We served together, remember? I know how you can get around Earth girls.”

“I need to talk to you, Jacob,” Raphael ignored Cupi’s words. “Do you know what happened here today? It was much more than just a fight between the five of us and Azazel. Today was the first major battle in the next chapter of the war between Heaven and Hell.”

“I thought you said they were at peace?” Todd asked.

The Archangel shook his head in disbelief. “Three-hundred years. We had peace for three-hundred years, and then that red-skinned asshole had to go and screw it up by breaking the Accords.”

“So what does this mean?” I asked. “Will there be more demons?”

“I would imagine that Lucifer is going to bide his time.” He nodded. “Try to build up his army and then take us by surprise when we’re least expecting it. That’s where you come in.”

“Me?” I shook my finger at the Archangel. “I didn’t sign up for anything. I’m just a mortal man who wanted to have a bit of fun and summoned some succubi…”

“Jacob,” Raphael retorted. “You just defeated Azazel, one of the oldest and most powerful demons lords, in one-on-one combat. You’re much more than just a mere mortal. That’s why He demands your help.”

“He? Like the big man upstairs?” Todd was exhausted from the battle, and he groggily tried to follow along with our conversation.

The Archangel nodded in affirmation.

“The next phase of the war could break out any day now, and when it does, there’s going to be destruction the likes of which the universe has never before seen. But this time, we have a secret weapon.” He pointed in my direction, and I turned around to see if there was anyone else standing behind me.

“Jacob is your secret weapon?” Cupi seemed unconvinced.

“Indeed,” the dark-haired man Archangel agreed. “He has shown that he can harness both the powers of Heaven and the powers of Hell. That, along with the fact that he is a mortal man, makes him the prime candidate to be our… I suppose the correct term would be ‘agent.’”

“Ohhh!” Todd giggled in excitement. “Can we all wear tuxedos?”

“As you found out in the sacred texts, demons are living among you here on Earth Realm.” Raphael ignored the imp’s words as he continued to explain the situation. “They occupy just about every sector of life for you humans. For us angels to go in and try to kill them would do nothing but escalate the conflict. Besides, we’ve been going back and forth like this for eons. The demons would recognize us before we could even cast a single spell.”

“So you want us to take care of them for you?” I said as I tried to figure out where he was going with this. “We’re essentially your Earth Realm strike force against the forces of Hell?”

“Correct.” Raphael nodded.

“Fuck yeah! That sounds awesome!” Todd pumped his fist into the air. “Can we have epic codenames? I want to be called Toddster the Imp-oster!”

“What about James Todd?” I laughed.

“What’s in it for us?” Cupiditas posed the question with an annoyed tone.

“Well, your names would go down in history as the ones who helped end the longest-running conflict of all time, for one.” The Archangel shrugged. “But if that’s not enough, we could always pay you or reward you with Earthly goods.”

“Oh boy, a new job.” I jokingly slapped Todd’s shoulder. “Does it come with any benefits?”

“I take your attempt at humor to be a yes?” Raphael asked with a raised eyebrow.

I walked over to the Archangel and extended my right hand. “We’re in.”

As Raphael and I shook on the deal, a white light surrounded our hands.

Cupi, Liby, Superbia, and Todd all walked over and put their hands in the middle to confirm that they were up to the task, as well. We all pulled back and stared at each other in bemusement.

“Excellent. It is done, then.” Raphael smiled. “I shall return to Heaven and inform the others of the good news. If you need anything, Jacob Ralston, my brothers and I are at your service.”

The Archangel walked over to the church and re-cast the protective spell that kept it secret for so many years. As the broken-down structure began to turn invisible once more, the sound vanished from the surrounding woods with it. We were now standing in an eerie silence.

Raphael turned to us with a smile, nodded, and then outstretched his arms to the side. A bright light engulfed him, and he disappeared with it. It was now just the five of us.

“Where do we even begin with a task like this?” Libidine worried.

“We can handle this, Liby.” I flashed her a reassuring smile.

“As for where to start, we should start by looking at the list of names in here.” Cupiditas said as she held up the book. “It may be from the eighties, but a bunch of those people are still alive.”

“Well, we still have tens of thousands of dollars, a trusty vehicle, and, I assume, a new member of the Ralston party?” I asked as I turned to the naked Superbia.

“Of course,” the madame nodded. “For far too long, I’ve taken orders from that bastard. I’ve done some unforgivable things in my thousands of years, to both mortals and my own succubi. Perhaps if I help you rid the universe of demons like Azazel, I can start to atone for my sins. Maybe.”

“Glad to have you on the team, sister.” Cupiditas smirked.

“Well?” Todd looked down at his nonexistent watch and tapped his wrist. “What are we waiting around for? There are hundreds of demons out there for us to knock-off!” The imp chuckled and then ran off in the direction we had parked Shadow.

Cupi and Libidine followed suit, and Superbia turned to walk back as well.

“You know, the other two girls have nicknames.” I reached out and stopped the redheaded succubus with my hand. “Superbia is kind of a mouthful to say.”

“Then you can call me Sia.” Superbia batted her doe eyes at me playfully.

“Sia.” I nodded. “I like it.”

“Hopefully, you’ll love me as much as you love those other girls,” she said with surprising earnestness.

“I’ll do my best,” I chuckled as I motioned with my arms for the succubus to go ahead. “After you, Sia.”

The tiny redhead strutted ahead of me playfully and made her way through the bushes, branches, and brambles of the forest as we headed back towards Shadow.

Though I was all the way at the back of the group, I knew exactly where I was going. All I had to do was follow the sexy naked woman in front of me as her ass bounced up and down.

When I finally emerged from the thickest part of the woods, Shadow was waiting for us, still right where we had left her. Todd was kicked back in the passenger seat, and Cupi and Liby were both huddled up in the back.

As Sia approached, Liby patted the seat beside her welcomingly. The madame hopped up into the interior of the Jeep, and I slid in behind the wheel. I twisted the key of the vehicle, and Shadow roared to life.

“What the fuck did we just get ourselves into?” I asked rhetorically to my group of friends.

“Only the most important role in human history,” Cupi joked. “Possibly in the entire history of the universe.”

“Well, we have no time to waste then!” I turned to Todd. “Mr. Imp, chart our ship a course!”

“Aye-aye, captain.” The imp giggled as he pulled out the book of confirmed demons and began to search for our very first target.

Whoever it was, whatever demon we decided to fuck with, was going to go down just like all the others. With the five of us now together, nothing could stand in our way.

I kicked Shadow into gear, and we headed out towards our next great adventure.

End Book 1

End notes

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2018 by Eric Vall