Chapter 1

“I really don’t like the way that dude’s lookin’ at me, bro,” Todd whispered in a voice that was anything but inconspicuous, and he gestured somewhere behind us to point out the man he was talking about. “He’s totally giving us the stink eye, and what’s with the fucking trench coat? Who does he think he is, Richard Tracy?”

“Richard Tracy?” I asked with a chuckle and a raised eyebrow. “Don’t you mean ‘Dick Tracy?’”

Todd glanced up at me from his spot on the brimstone pew and shook his head with amusement.

“You know damn well why I don’t call him that,” the imp giggled at the mere thought of the name, “I swear, if I ever get a pet dog, I’m gonna call him ‘Dicky.’ That way I can finally go around asking all the babes if they wanna pet my dicky without getting slapped.”

“Don’t ever change, Todd,” I said with a roll of my eyes, and then I turned to face the rest of the crowd.

Here we were, in a small brimstone temple in what was formerly known as Gressil’s domain. After months of blood, sweat, and tears, two of the three members of the Unholy Trio were no more.

Baphomet was dead, replaced as King of the Fifth Circle by my friend Mephisto.

Gressil was slain not long after the goat-headed bastard, killed by my God Bomb in the subterranean tunnels of the Seventh Circle and left as nothing more than an ashy pile.

That just left Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies and the King of the Eighth Circle.

His influence was growing weaker by the second, though. With two-thirds of the trio dead, my allies and I controlled five of the nine Circles of Hell, and with all of Beelzebub’s cultists and Demon Lords dead, he had next to nothing left. Nothing but his kingdom.

And soon, that would be mine, too.

“You okay, Jacob?” Libidine’s angelic voice broke me out of my trance. “You look like you’re zoning out.”

“Are you thinking about conquering Beelzebub’s domain again?” Cupiditas prodded from the bench beside her sister. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

“I mean, it’s the next logical step, right?” I shot back with a smug grin. “We figure out these weird-ass black Hellfire powers of mine, march right up to Beelzebub’s door, and then take him out once and for all.”

“Now, when you say ‘we … ’” Tristitia, the Sister of Sloth, started with a raised hand, “who exactly do you mean? Because, like, I totally don’t want to be a downer, but Harold and Kumar are really hard to carry on long journeys. You know, with their size and all.”

“They materialize in your hand.” The redheaded succubus Gula rolled her eyes and nudged Tris in the ribs. “Besides, we are the succubi of King Ralston. Since when have we ever complained about not being able to handle the size?”

“Shhhhh!” Tris hissed. “I totally had an out!”

“It’s alright, girls,” Superbia giggled as she poked her head between Gula and Tris’ noggins. “If what Lilith says is correct, Jacob has lots of training left to do before he’s anywhere near ready to use his black fire. You will still have plenty of time for rest and relaxation, Tristitia.”

“Oh,” Tris said with a huff of relief, “well, if that’s the case, I can live with that. But, uh, how long is ‘plenty of time?’ Two weeks? A month? A year? I just need to know so I can map out my daily nap schedule.”

“Speakin’ of nap schedule, I’m about three seconds away from hitting snoozeville, bro,” Todd sighed loudly. “What’s the holdup on this whole shindig? I could totally be off making another podcast or playing solitaire or even fucking jerkin the turnkin for all I care. Anything’s gotta be better than sitting here and waiting for Zimzagoon to come out and show off his sparkly new crown.”

“The ceremony should begin any minute now,” Sia semi-scolded the imp, “these sort of knightings don’t happen very often, so they should be looked upon with the utmost amount of severity and dignity.”

“Didn’t we do one of these literally, like, two adventures ago?” Todd shot back with a snort. “That makes, what, two in the last month? That’s more common than the clap at an Amsterdam whorehouse, Strawberry Shortcake.”

Superbia recoiled with obvious frustration on her face as she tried to think up a clever comeback. Finally, a warm smile spread up her face, and she shrugged playfully.

“What can I say?” she mused. “When Jacob is around, things tend to get shaken up.”

“Especially my brain, when he’s riding me like a horse,” Cupiditas cooed with a wink.

Todd made a face like he’d just sucked on a lemon and shook his head furiously.

“I’m gonna stop ya there, Cupi,” he shuddered, “I’ll be a good boy and sit through this whole knighting ceremony without another word, just as long as you don’t say another single thing about you and Jakey’s midnight rides. Kapeesh?”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” the blonde succubus chuckled.

Todd reached out to shake on it, but Cupi simply stared at his hand. Then she raised an eyebrow at the imp until he finally took the hint.

“How rude,” he half-joked as he lowered his hand back down to his side, “just because this is the hand I use to beat off doesn’t mean it’s always dirty, ya know.”

“And when was the last time you committed self-fulfillment?” Mirage, the second succubus madame, questioned from the row of seats behind us. “Unless my eardrums mistake me, I could have sworn I heard sounds coming from the restroom only ten minutes ago … ”

“Look, Houdini,” Todd sighed as he turned around and leaned against the back of the bench nonchalantly, “I’m what you call an ‘anxious fapper.’ You know me, I’m like, the chillest person you know, right? Well, do you really think I’d be that way all the time if I wasn’t high as the Eiffel Tower and had all sorts of weird sexual energy stored up in my giblets?”

“I-I don’t think I want to know the answer to--” Mirage began, but Todd wasn’t going to let her finish.

“Of course not!” the imp stated proudly. “The Toddster has to drain the splooge pipe at least four times a day, or else I’m as jittery as a fucking rabbit, bro.”

“As his former roommate, I can vouch for that.” I shuddered as I remembered all those times Todd locked himself in the bathroom for nearly an hour at a time.

“As much as I hate to interrupt this conversation,” Libidine lied, “I believe the coronation is about to start.”

I turned around from my position at the front of the room and looked out over the crowd.

There were demons of all sorts filling up the rows behind us. Some of them were familiar faces, such as Mephisto and Asmodeus, but the rest were beings I’d never met before. I assumed they were the Demon Lords, succubi, and servants of the various Demon Kings I’d allied myself with, but I couldn’t be sure. There must have been at least two hundred people here, all waiting with bated breath for the coronation of the new King of the Sixth Circle.

That would be Ziminiar, the Great Scholar of Hell and Lucifer’s former historian.

“I’m still on the fence about all of this,” Cupiditas admitted, “Ziminiar may be thankful we released him from an eternity in a tomb of Hellfire, but he’s still a Demon Lord. What’s to stop him from turning on us, just like that traitor, Gamigin?”

“There are a few major differences,” I tried to explain to the Sister of Greed, “one, Ziminiar and I have common enemies. He’s still pissed off at my father for condemning him to a life of never-ending torture and casting him to the side as if he were nothing. He wants revenge on Lucifer and, even though that’s a fairly shaky foundation for an alliance, that means he’s on our side for the foreseeable future. Two … he was mostly a scholar in his time with my father. Just like Mephisto, nobody ever would have pegged him for a Demon King in a million years. There’s no way he’d try to fuck up a chance like this. And, last but not least, he’s nothing like Gamigin. That horse-faced bastard was so difficult to work with nobody wanted him. Nobody. It was a rare case where our Moneyball strategy didn’t work out so well. Ziminiar is nowhere near as power-hungry or hot-headed as Gamigin was.”

I could tell Todd wanted to say something, but he pursed his lips and tried to keep up his end of the silence bargain.

Then, from the back of the room, came the voice of Daniel, my loyal Shade.

“All rise for the arrival of Ziminiar, the demon who would be king!” Daniel called out.

Instantly, the room went silent, and everybody stood from their chairs and turned toward the aisle.

As their attention was diverted, I sauntered up to the stage at the front of the room, walked up the stairs, and took my position at the top.

For this ceremony, I was dressed in my trusty silver armor, with the Unhallowed Sword strapped tightly to my left side and my goat-headed dagger hanging from my right. Since this was such a momentous occasion, I even had Ariel take all of my gear to her shop and polish it up the best she could.

All of this equipment had seen a ridiculous amount of action in the last few months, and it had started to look worse for wear.

Thankfully, Ariel fixed it all up, and now the armor was so shiny it could bring down a plane if the sun hit it just right.

I was a fucking king, and in this brilliant armor, I definitely felt like one.

There was even something regal about this whole building. It was a small temple, probably about the size of a modest cathedral on Earth Realm. Like everything else in the Sixth Circle, it was built out of the dark, rocky brimstone that made up so much of Hell’s landscape, and the interior had no fanfare, artwork, or anything to distinguish itself from the other large stone domes of this domain.

But that would all change once Ziminiar was in charge.

As if right on cue, the Demon Lord appeared through the archway of the door. His dark red-and-black robes billowed behind him as he wandered down the aisle between the crowded benches, and his buck teeth were so white I could see them glistening from all the way back here. As he walked, he bowed his head and held his hands at his waist somberly, and he only reached up every now and again to adjust his coke-bottle glasses.

Meanwhile, Todd was humming “here comes the bride” mischievously until Libidine gave him a forceful elbow to the side.

Finally, Ziminiar took the steps up onto the stage, looked me in the eyes, and then bowed.

“It is an honor, King Ralston,” the scholar noted, and then he slowly bent down onto his knees.

Even though I’d only done this ceremony once before, I remembered it like the back of my hand. Without another moment’s hesitation, I drew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath and then rested it gently on the demon’s right shoulder.

“I, Jacob Ralston, King of the Fourth Circle and Son of Lucifer, task you, Ziminiar, with guarding my domain as a sacred Demon King,” I began as I lifted the blade and then tapped the opposite shoulder, “I bestow upon you the Sixth Circle of Hell, and all the powers and glory that go along with the title. Do you swear to remain loyal to my majesty? Shall you help me wipe out our enemies wherever they may hide? Do you pledge your allegiance to Jacob Ralston, and Jacob Ralston alone?”

“I swear, my King,” Ziminiar repeated with a slight tremble in his voice.

“Then rise,” I commanded. “Gone is Ziminiar, the Grand Scholar of Hell. In his place has been reborn Ziminiar, King of the Sixth Circle!”

As the demon rose, the entire crowd erupted into a cheer.

“Long live King Ziminiar!” a voice in the crowd called out.

“Long may he reign!” another chimed in.

Then, through the whistles and cheers of the audience, my eardrums picked up another phrase. One that wasn’t so encouraging.

“Viva la Revolucion!” a high-pitched, garbled voice called out from somewhere.

“Jacob, on your left!” I heard Deja gasp.

I spun around as quickly as I could and tossed up a large purple wall of Hellfire for protection. Just then, a huge wave of red fireballs assaulted the stage and lit up the rocky caverns with their glow. The flaming projectiles bounced harmlessly off my barrier, ricocheted back out into the crowd, and then were snatched out of the sky by a large, swirling vortex of black Hellfire.

The tattooed succubus Eclipse was now standing atop the benches, with both her feet rested on the backs of the stony structures. Dark flames swirled all around her body as she commanded the black holes to swallow up the deadly projectiles, and within seconds, they had all disappeared.

The various Demon Lords and succubi in attendance began to panic and charge for the exits, but not my team. One by one, I saw my Demon Lords, Todd, and my allied Kings stand up and begin to scan the crowd for the assailants.

“Aha!” Todd exclaimed as he pointed dramatically toward the back of the temple. “I knew that fucker was just three goblins in a trench coat!”

All around the room, I saw demons dressed just like the one Todd had pointed out earlier, and, one by one, the same guys tossed away their hats and coats as their bodies split up into multiple tiny creatures.

It was the Targlin.

“Didn’t we kill these things already?” I sighed as I held up the Unhallowed Sword and prepared for battle.

“Not all of them, remember?” Cupiditas reminded me. “Several of the little bastards fled once their master was killed.”

“These must be the remnants,” Sia noted as she tossed a blast of black Hellfire out into the crowd, “come for revenge.”

“Seriously?” I chuckled heartily. “They came to ambush us at one of the biggest gatherings of my allies I’ve ever had? They must be dumber than they look.”

The Targlins let out an inhuman hiss as they began to crawl across the stone benches with pure vitriol in their eyes.

However, my friends and I couldn’t help but exchange smirks.

These Targlins may have outnumbered us nearly five to one, but they were still just grunts. Grunts who were trapped in a large, enclosed space with four Demon Kings, twelve Demon Lords, and a pissed-off stoner imp.

We were about to show them that they’d bitten off more than they could chew.

Surprisingly, Todd drew first blood. He surrounded himself with black Hellfire, zipped across the temple, and then lashed out with his claws at the first Targlin. The little goblin’s eyeball popped out of his socket with a shlock as his head was thrown back, and then Todd slit his throat with one fell swipe.

“I’m not locked in here with you,” the imp warned in a gravelly voice, “you’re locked in here with me!”

“They’re going to try and flank us!” Deja called out as she pointed to a group of Targlins running along the wall.

“Nah,” the electric succubi Inpulsa retorted nonchalantly, “I got this.”

Inpulsa stepped forward, summoned yellow Hellfire into her hands, and then clapped them together. The second she did so, a massive bolt of electricity blasted from her position and lit up the incoming Targlins.

The creatures shrieked in agony as their bodies were fried to a crisp, and then they went silent as their charred remains seized up and fell to the ground.

“Nice work, Deja,” I nodded. “They totally had us flanked until you gave away their position.”

“Don’t mention it,” the brunette valley girl giggled, “oh, and by the way, there are ten more of them up on the roof. They should be breaking through right about … now!”

Right on cue, the roof of the temple shattered into a million pieces, and several tiny goblin creatures came careening down toward our position.

I summoned yellow Hellfire into one hand, purple into the other, and then blasted the intermixed beam up into the air above us. A large violet wall appeared in front of my falling enemies before it glowed intensely with yellow, and a layer of tiny, razor-sharp shuriken appeared at the top.

The Targlins’ eyes went wide as they tried to stop their descent, but it was too late.

I forced the deadly wall of discs upward at break-neck speeds until I heard a yelp, and then I continued pushing it into the air until it slammed into the top of the temple. The Targlins that had been unlucky enough to land on the edges of the barrier were crushed against the rocky roof, and the momentum of the impact launched the rest of the little fuckers through the hole in the ceiling and out of sight.

I released my spell just as another wave of goblins was approaching. Then I raised my hand to blast the bastards with a shot of red, but Ziminiar raised his hand to stop me.

“I’ll handle this, King Ralston,” he offered, “it is my domain now, after all.”

Ziminiar took a step forward, closed his eyes, and then held out his arms like he was meditating. As he did so, his hands began to glow with a shade of emerald Hellfire that was nearly six shades darker than my own. Suddenly, the fire began to pull together until it looked like little beams of green electricity pulsating around his fists. Then Ziminiar opened up his eyes and launched the Hellfire into the ground around him.

The second he did so, I felt my body become weightless, but it wasn’t the same sensation that usually happened when I traveled through one of my interdimensional portals. No … within seconds, I was floating three feet in the air as if the laws of gravity didn’t apply, and no matter how hard I tried to move, I couldn’t. It was like I was being held by an invisible set of marionette strings.

Unfortunately for the Targlins, so were they.

“There,” Ziminiar said casually, “now, if those of you with flight abilities would be so kind … ”

Ziminiar’s powers may have temporarily upset the natural law of gravity, but that was irrelevant to those in the room who could fly. There were flashes of purple all around the room as my succubi called forth their wings, and then they got to work.

The Targlins screamed in horror as they tried to escape their fate, but it was no use. They were trapped in the King of the Sixth Circle’s anti-gravity wave, and there was nothing they could do but watch helplessly as my friends descended upon them.

Eclipse, Ira, and Gula took one side of the room as they lopped off heads with their naginata, morning star, and axe, while Cupi, Deja, and Mirage made short work of another large group of Targlins with their piercing weapons. Meanwhile, the succubi with long-range attacks were playing target practice.

Superbia was catching large groups of the little goblin-like creatures with her black Hellfire, raising them up into the air, and then holding them in place. At the same time, Inpulsa, Invidia, Libidine and Tris lit them up with their projectiles and spells.

The Targlins caught in Sia’s trap were ripped to shreds by a mixture of electricity, spikes, and bullets, and within seconds, there was nothing left of the fuckers.

“Jakey!” Todd cackled as he swooped around behind me and placed his tiny mitts on my back. “You wanna go bowling?”

I looked over to see there was only one group of Targlins remaining. Ten of them, to be exact.

“Let’s go for a perfect game.” I grinned as I summoned red Hellfire into my hand and then ran it across the blade of the Unhallowed Sword.

Todd gave my weightless body a hearty shove, and I flew across the room toward the floating Targlins. As I rocketed toward my targets, I pulled out my goat-headed dagger, gripped it firmly, and then pulled both my blades in close to my chest as I prepared to attack.

The goblin-creatures flailed in a panic as they tried to do anything to escape my wrath, but there was nothing they could do.

As soon as I was within striking distance of the Targlins, I swung both my weapons out beside my body, and there were sprays of crimson when I passed through the group and slashed their throats as I went by.

My momentum kept me going until I came to the temple wall, and then I pressed my feet against the rocky side of the building and propelled myself back into the action.

Four of the Targlins had been killed by my first passthrough. Not quite a strike, but maybe I could pick up the spare.

This time, I stabbed my sword through the closest Targlin’s head and then spun my body around like a top as I shot a blast of red Hellfire out of the blade. As I rotated in the air, I became a deadly makeshift flamethrower, and the last remaining Targlins were lit up like a Christmas tree.

They let out the faintest of screams before their bodies were vaporized into ashes, and then all was silent.

It took me a few more rotations before my momentum finally ceased and I came to a stop, and then I tried to survey the battlefield once more.

The temple was now full of lifeless, floating Targlin bodies. We’d done it.

The last of the Targlins were dead.

“Jakey!” Todd called out from across the room through a makeshift hand bullhorn. “I have to say … I think that might have been the most metal thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And I’ve seen GWAR seven times, bro!”

Ziminiar just rolled his eyes, shook his head, and then released his green spell. As he did so, what was left of the Targlins’ bodies collapsed to the ground, as did all of my friends and me.

I quickly pulled myself back to my feet as my entire team approached my position.

Well, Mephisto, the King of the Fifth Circle, grumbled telepathically as he floated over, so much for a calm, peaceful transfer of power.

“At least Ziminiar here got a ceremony,” Asmodeus noted. “When Mammon and I were promoted to Demon Kings, all Lucifer did was pat us on the head like a lost puppy and say ‘you are now my Kings.’ I’ve gotten more fanfare out of my annual orgy of premature ejaculators.”

“Somehow, I want to know all about this and absolutely nothing about it, all at the same time, bro,” Todd whispered to me.

“I try to find the silver lining in everything,” Ziminiar said, “and I will admit, I was wondering how I was going to deal with the Targlin problem now that I am King. But now, it looks like it’s all been sorted out.”

“If by ‘sorted out’ you mean ‘left in a bloody heap on the floor,’ then yes,” I chuckled and sheathed my weapon.

“More or less the same thing,” the wise old demon agreed. “Now, if we are all done here, I’d like to retire to my castle. I’ve got some big plans for the Sixth Circle … ”

“I can’t wait to see them, King Ziminiar,” I admitted as I extended my hand.

The goat-faced demon’s eyes smiled at me through his oversized glasses, and then he reached out and shook my hand.

The moment was interrupted, however, by the massive, ground-shaking footsteps of Mammon. The King of the Second Circle came hobbling over to us, completely out of breath. Sweat covered his disgusting, obese body, which in turn caused his skin to be covered from head to toe in a layer of wet, glistening fluid.

“Wha--What did I-I--” he choked out through a few heaves, “what did I miss?”

“They just unfroze Han from the Carbonite,” Todd snickered, and Libidine gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

“Uhhhh, all the Targlin are dead,” I explained.

Mammon crossed his flabby arms across his manboobs and raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“There were Targlin here?” he gasped through deep breaths of air.

“You just got here?” I sighed.

“I came as fast as I could!” the King of the Second Circle protested. “At least I came. I don’t see Lilith or her servant here at all.”

“Lilith and Eligor had important business to attend to,” I explained with an extended finger, “they get a pass on this one. But you’re right, at least you showed up. We Demon Kings need all the support we can get, especially when we’re adding a new member to the team.”

“That’s why I walked all this way,” Mammon panted, “now, shall we get started?”

“Uhhhhh,” I groaned, “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve been done for like, twenty minutes. Ziminiar is King of the Sixth Circle.”

Mammon frowned as he realized he’d missed the entire ceremony, but he simply shrugged. Then the fat demon waddled over to Ziminiar, stuck out his hand, and shook with his new ally.

I could only imagine how warm and clammy his hand must have been, and the muted expression of horror on Ziminiar’s face confirmed my suspicion.

“I just can’t believe it,” Mammon chuckled, “the last time I saw you, Ziminiar, you were following behind Lucifer like a wide-eyed kid, jotting down everything he said onto those scrolls of yours. Now just look at ya … part of Jacob’s Alliance and a Demon King!”

“I appreciate the kind words, Mammon,” Ziminiar reaffirmed, “and I appreciate you coming out all this way to see me. But for now, I must return to my dwelling. I have so much work I need to get done … How did Gressil ever live in this place? It’s absolutely dreadful.”

“He didn’t,” Asmodeus scoffed, “he was always hanging out in the Eighth Circle with Beelzebub. He was a complete kiss-ass, and not in the pleasant ‘let’s experiment with something new’ kind of way.”

“Again,” Todd stated, “I want to know, but I really don’t want to know.”

“No matter,” Ziminiar said with a wave of his hand, “once I’m done with this place, it will be the single greatest scholarly paradise the universe has ever seen. There’s so much to do, and so little time … Thank you all for coming out today, and I’m sure our paths will cross again shortly.”

With that, the new King of the Sixth Circle bid us farewell, and then headed out of the temple toward his castle.

“Welp,” Mammon sighed and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, “I suppose I ought to head back to my domain. It’s a loooong fucking walk.”

“You walked all the way here?” Asmodeus chuckled. “I took my yacht.”

“Your yacht fit in the River of Souls?” I gasped as I tried to picture the image in my head.

“It’s a moderately sized yacht.” The King of the First Circle shrugged. “Perfect for short getaways, and the perfect size for … intimate gatherings, if you catch my drift. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to head back to the S.S. Pentagram and turn it into the S.S. Penetration. Toodleloo, my friends!”

Asmodeus turned to walk out of the room, and his billowing white and black spotted cape flowed gracefully behind him. Soon, both he and Mammon were out the door, and my team was alone.

“We really gotta get ourselves one of those yachts he’s talking about,” Ira cooed.

“I agree,” Gula nodded, “though not for the same reasons as Sister Ira here. It’s getting harder and harder for all of us to travel together now that our team has grown so large.”

I have several boats in my domain, Mephisto offered, as you know, that’s the primary mode of transportation in the Fifth Circle.

“I’ll have to look into it,” I admitted, “but, for now, it looks like we’re all gonna have to either fly or crowd into the dinghy. We’ve got a long journey to get back home, and even more important things to do once we get back.”

“Oh, yeah,” Todd giggled, “I totally forgot. Sideshow Babe and Goldilocks are supposed to be teaching you about your Deus Ex Machina, aren’t they?”

“Jacob’s black Hellfire, you mean,” Sia corrected the imp.

Todd shrugged. “Eh, I’m just calling it what it is. I’m just excited to see what it’s all about!”

“I wouldn’t be,” Cupiditas warned, and her voice was droning and distant as she stared off into space, “I’ve had enough bad experiences with the stuff that I never, ever want to use it again. But if Lilith thinks it’s the only way to defeat Beelzebub, then who am I to question her?”

“It’ll be alright,” I reassured the fit blonde as I placed my hand lovingly on her cheek, “I trust Lilith, and she’s been doing research on this for the last few days. If anyone can get my powers under control, it’s the Demon Queen. Now, let’s go home. All of us.”

I gave Cupi a small peck on the lips to hammer my point home even more, and then I turned to lead my team out to our boat.

Even though everything I just said was true … I really did trust Lilith’s judgement and her ability to train me in the use of my powers. However, I couldn’t help but remember the last time I’d tried to use black Hellfire.

I remembered the darkness and the distorted world around me, almost like I was inside a broken radio.

Worst of all, I remembered the Shadow People.

Chapter 2

The journey back to the Fourth Circle was somewhat lengthy, and the boat was crowded so full I wondered if it would stay afloat the entire trip. However, now that the Fifth and Sixth Circles had been liberated and were no longer hostile territory, it was a fairly uneventful sail.

Todd told a series of jokes that kept flitting back and forth between “so dirty a sailor would blush” and eye-rollingly terrible, while the rest of us either slept or cleaned our weapons.

Finally, after nearly two hours of sailing, we arrived at the port of my castle.

“Alright,” I announced to the packed boat, “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to go freshen up and rest, but then I want you to meet me out at the coliseum. Lilith and Eligor should be back by now, and they want us all to work on using our black Hellfire magic.”

Eclipse sheepishly raised her hand from the back of the dinghy.

“Do I have to go?” the tattooed beauty asked. “I’ve already got my black fire down to a science.”

“Yeahhhhh,” Todd added, “mine makes me go all Great American Hero and shit, so I dunno if I need any more training. That’s time I could be spending working on Tuesdays with the Toddster or trying to recruit more people into my multi-level marketing company … ”

“Wait,” Tris protested, “if they aren’t going, then why do I have to go? That totally doesn’t seem fair.”

“We will all be going,” Sia confirmed as she casually stepped off the boat and onto the pier. “Even if your fear powers have manifested themselves already, they are nowhere near their highest potential. That’s why Lilith and Eligor have so graciously offered to teach us how to harness them.”

“Harness?” Ira perked up from her light slumber and looked around with excitement in her eyes. “Did someone say something about a harness? Yes, please.”

“All in due time,” Superbia explained coyly, “but for now, let us go rest. We will all meet you at the coliseum in, say … half an hour?”

“Half an hour works for me,” I confirmed, and then I watched as the beautiful women stood up, stretched out, and then exited the boat.

My eyes were glued to their gorgeous bodies as they walked away, and their hips sashayed from side to side and made their asses jiggle. My heart raced in my chest as I thought about all the things I wanted to do to these women in bed. Or on the couch. Or in the workshop. Or wherever they wanted it to be.

“Whoooooa,” Todd interrupted my impure thoughts as he appeared in front of my face, “eyes up here, bro. We want you to be fearful, remember? I dunno what Hellfire power is linked to horniness, but I really don’t wanna find out.”

“Please,” I scoffed, “if there was a Hellfire power for horniness, you would have unlocked it a loooong time ago.”

“Fair enough,” the tiny imp shrugged, “the Toddster has three moods, and three moods only: hungry, horny, and stoned.”

“You’re forgetting paranoid,” I half-joked as I looked past the imp and saw Deja was still sitting in the boat, and she was looking somewhat anxious.

“Me?” Todd chuckled. “Paranoid? I think you’re losin’ it, bro.”

“Mhmm.” I shook my head as I began to scoot over toward the brunette succubus. “If I recall correctly, you went on a six-hour tangent about how the Boston Tea Party was connected to the Kennedy Assassination.”

“That’s not paranoia, bro,” Todd crossed his tiny arms over his chest, “that’s just straight-up facts. I didn’t even get to the part where the aliens come in … ”

“Maybe another time,” I laughed, and then I turned my attention to the lone succubus in the dinghy. “What’s up, Deja? Aren’t you going to go join the others?”

“I just wanted to talk to you about what happened back there,” Deja sighed, “or, actually, more like what’s been happening to me all the time recently.”

I slid closer to the brunette woman and put my arm around her tightly.

“What’s up?” I asked. “Are you struggling with your new Demon Lord powers? I’ve never seen you predict the future like that before.”

“That’s the thing,” Deja continued, “my power set has always allowed me to mess with how I experience time, and every now and again I’d get these weird ‘flash forwards’ into the future. It was always random, but now that I’m a full-fledged Demon Lord, it looks like I can actually control it. At least, in theory.”

“Holy shit, Clockblocker,” Todd whistled, “you totally got the Sherlock Holmes syndrome going on.”

“Sherlock Holmes?” Deja questioned with a frown.

“Totally,” the imp continued, “haven’t you ever seen the Guy Richie version? The one with Iron Man in it? He can totally flash forward into the future at will, just like you. Then he plans out all the kung fu shit he’s gonna do, and then he does all the kung fu shit he planned.”

“I definitely can’t do it at will,” the succubus shook her head somberly, “it’s just becoming more prominent, that’s all. That’s how I was able to tell you when the Targlin were trying to ambush us. But I can’t control it very well … ”

“What’s so bad about that?” I pondered aloud. “So, you get a glimpse into the future every now and again. That could actually be really helpful in our final battle!”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Deja said in a much more somber tone. “Even though it’s happening more and more, it still isn’t something I can control. I’m worried there will come a time where you need me to use my powers, and I won’t be able to produce. I-I just don’t want to disappoint you, Jacob. That’s all.”

“Nonsense, Deja,” I reassured the succubus tenderly, “you could never, ever, in a million years, disappoint me. Besides, with a little bit of guidance from Lilith or Eligor or Cupi, I’m sure you’ll learn how to master these powers in no time!”

“Yeah, Clockblocker,” Todd snickered as he poked his head up between my and Deja’s heads, “with a little bit of help from the war master, you’ll be Robert Downey Junior-ing motherfuckers left and right. Just, uh … avoid the hard stuff at all costs. We really don’t need to find you passed out in some eleven year old’s bed someday.”

“Why would I be in a--” Deja began, but I cut her off.

“He’s trying to make a joke about the guy’s drug addiction,” I sighed, “which is totally not cool.”

“Hey, bro, you know me,” Todd just shrugged, “I like to keep things topical. Speaking of topical … if I leave right now, I think I’ve got time to have a quickie with Palmala Handerson before we gotta be at the coliseum.”

Then, in a single motion, the imp backflipped off the side of the dinghy, caught himself with his black Hellfire, and then floated up into the sky and out of sight.

“Who’s Palmala?” Deja pondered aloud.

“You don’t want to know,” I promised her as I stood up and motioned for her to get out of the boat, “but I’ll talk to Lilith and Cupi and see if they can help you get a handle on your powers.”

“You mean that?” The brunette perked up.

“Of course I do. Now, go get some rest, and I’ll see you at the coliseum.”

Deja nodded gratefully before she hopped up and steadily made her way out of the dinghy and onto the pier. I was right behind her, and the two of us walked all the way down to the end of the walkway before we parted ways.

The Cali-girl succubus was headed off to change clothes or take a nap or maybe even grab a bite to eat, but I couldn’t afford such a luxury.

I needed to get to the coliseum before everyone else. I had lots of training ahead of me, involving a power I both didn’t understand and kinda feared. So, the sooner I could get started, the better.

I strolled over past the castle walls and then across the rocky landscape of my domain. As I walked in the direction of the training grounds, I couldn’t help but look out and marvel at my creation.

The soft lights of the city glowed in the distance, and they illuminated the desolate terrain on the outskirts of my castle. This place had come a long way since the days of Azazel’s medieval villages, and I was really happy with my domain.

Unfortunately, my leisurely stroll couldn’t last forever, and I eventually came to the large, circular structure that acted as both our entertainment venue and our training center. Then I continued on between the massive black pillars and onto the sandy ground of the building’s interior.

Lilith and Eligor were both already there, and they were chit-chatting with the blacksmith and former angel, Ariel. The peppy, athletic redhead cut herself off the second she saw me approaching and then began to wave frantically.

“Well, speak of the Devi--er, I mean, there’s Jacob!” she chuckled.

“Hello to you, too,” I smiled at the group as I strolled up to their position, “are we ready to get into some black magic, or what?”

Ariel pumped her fist into the air, but Eligor and Lilith continued to look stern.

“Black Hellfire isn’t something to be taken lightly,” Lilith warned. “In fact, I’m halfway tempted to postpone this training session for a later date. Perhaps one where we won’t be trying to control multiple spells of the dark magic at once?”

“If you wanted a private session with me, Lilith,” I winked, “all you have to do is ask.”

The redheaded Demon Queen tried to maintain her authoritative composure, but I saw the corners of her mouth twist up into a smile.

“Would you want me?” she cooed. “Or would you want Tamira? For old time’s sake?”

“I mean, I’m used to making love to Tamira, as spiteful as she was,” I joked, “but I’m always open to new experiences. Especially when it comes to sexy, stern Demon Queens.”

“You’re too kind,” Lilith retorted as her stern mask faded even further. “According to what Eligor has told me, you’ve gotten even better since the last time we were intimate.”

I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot when I heard the compliment, and I swelled with pride. Then I glanced over at Eligor and raised an eyebrow.

“Is that so?” I asked the blonde knight.

Eligor also tried to maintain her “no-nonsense” expression, but her face turned beet red.

“You’ve gotten better since the first time we made love,” she admitted. “So, I figured you were much, much better than the last time you laid with my mistress.”

Something about the way Eligor said the words got my imagination going, and I began to picture myself sleeping with not just Eligor, but with her and Lilith. At the same time. My throbbing erection pressed tightly against the fabric of my pants as the images of the two beautiful women passed through my head.

Thankfully, the codpiece of my armor disguised my excitement.

“You mean he gets better?” Ariel gasped. “Looks like I’ve got a lot to look forward to.”

“Perhaps a private session will be in order somewhere down the line,” Lilith teased, “but for now, we need to focus on getting you and the rest of your team equipped with your black Hellfire.”

“But can they even use it?” I questioned. “The rest of my team, I mean. Not every demon can use every color of Hellfire.”

“Black Hellfire is the exception to the rule,” Eligor explained, “much like the magic of red flames, it is a power that can be unlocked by any demonic spellcaster.”

“If it’s so easy and common,” I retorted, “then why don’t either of you use it?”

Lilith frowned with concern and then shook her head vigorously.

“Who says we haven’t?” Eligor shot back.

“Eligor and I both have our own black Hellfire abilities,” Lilith elaborated, “but we don’t use them. My spell is a danger to myself and everyone around me, and Eligor’s black magic is not exactly of practical use.”

“Also, it is the most unpleasant of the Hellfires to use,” the Knight of Hell continued, “as you may know, it manifests itself from the Shadow World and is powered by fear. That by itself can take its toll on the user, especially if they’re exposed for long periods of time.”

“Actually, I didn’t know any of that,” I admitted, “like, not a single word of what you just said.”

“Then we need to start from the beginning,” Lilith noted as she strutted over and sat down on the edge of the stage. “Let me ask you this, Jacob … what do you know about the Shadow World? Or black Hellfire in general, for that matter?”

“Not much. I know the one time I used it, I was transported into some weird, distorted mirror dimension. There were a bunch of shadowy figures there, too. They kept whispering my name, but I ‘noped’ the fuck out of there before anything else could happen.”

“And you haven’t used your powers since?” Eligor prompted, and I confirmed with a nod.

“I’m impressed,” Lilith continued, “your black fire not only comes from the Shadow World, but it apparently allows you to travel there, as well.”

“What even is the Shadow World?” I asked. “Because from what I can tell, it’s a pretty fucked up place.”

“You’re not wrong,” the Demon Queen agreed. “The Shadow World is a place of pure darkness, a place created by both the Exalted One and Lucifer to house the creatures that neither one of them could control.”

“So, it’s like, some sort of interdimensional prison?”

“You could say that.” The redhead nodded. “Its main inhabitants are the Shadow People, beings of pure dark magic that refused to bow down to any master. As punishment for their insubordination, they were sentenced to an eternity in the Shadow World, under the watchful eye of the warlord Tenebris.”

“But there is a lot more to the Shadow World than just the Shadow People,” Eligor added.

“That’s right,” Lilith continued, “the Shadow World is a place where both Heaven and Hell send their most undesirable creatures, so there is danger lurking around every single corner. On occasion, the inhabitants of this dimension use their own magic to cross over to Earth Realm, but only for a fleeting amount of time.”

“Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?” Eligor questioned. “Or seen shadows dart across the room on their own?”

“Yes and yes,” I admitted.

“Those are the Shadow People trying to escape their incarceration,” the blonde knight explained.

“But that’s not the end of it,” Lilith spoke up once more. “Several millennia ago, demons from this dimension learned they could call upon the power of the Shadow World to give them new abilities. However, it’s not safe, and many of those who try to use black Hellfire pay for it with their lives.”

“Sounds reassuring,” I scoffed. “But wait … Todd, Eclipse, and Sia all use it just fine.”

“Black Hellfire comes more naturally for those who have a … darker side to them.” Lilith shrugged.

“A darker side? I totally get Eclipse, and I kinda understand Todd. But Sia? She’s about as far from ‘dark’ as you can possibly get.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I was you,” Lilith admitted, “remember, Superbia acted as Azazel’s madame for all those years, and he was about as ruthless as they come. I’m sure your innocent little redhead isn’t as innocent as she appears.”

It made sense. Superbia might have been one of the sweetest women I’d ever met in my life, but when we’d first met she talked about how she did all sorts of things she wasn’t proud of to “protect her girls.”

Maybe there was more darkness in Sia than I’d originally thought.

“Huh,” I chuckled, “you think you know a girl … Anyways, what exactly do I need to do to make sure I can actually control these powers? Also, what kind of good does it do me to travel to this interdimensional prison? At least Sia and Todd and Eclipse’s powers all have some sort of functional purpose.”

“Everything has a functional purpose!” Ariel protested. “You just have to figure out what your power’s purpose is.”

“I agree with the angel,” Eligor nodded, “the only way we’re going to be able to find out is by experimenting in a controlled group setting until we get things figured out.”

“What if I lose control?” I gulped. “The last thing I want to do is accidentally trap myself and all my friends in the Shadow World.”

“That won’t be the case,” Lilith reassured me, “you’ve already been there once and were able to come out alive. Surely, you can do it again. And, after a few times of doing it, the task should come as second nature to you.”

“If I may ask,” Eligor questioned, “how did you manage to get out the first time? To my knowledge, nobody has ever traveled to the Shadow World and returned of their own free will.”

“He followed my voice,” Cupiditas explained as she strutted through the entryway of the coliseum. “At least, that’s what he claimed happened.”

The rest of the succubi were right behind the Sister of Greed, and they were all decked out in their Demon Lord armor that made them look badass and sexy all at the same time.

“Followed her voice?” Lilith questioned.

“It all happened so fast, and so long ago … ” I sighed, “one minute I was staring down a large group of Shadow People, and the next, I heard Cupi’s voice calling out to me. Once that happened, I opened my eyes and found myself back in our world.”

Eligor and Lilith both looked at each other with concerned expressions.

“You met the Shadow People?” the Demon Queen asked with her eyebrow raised.

“I did. They said they knew who I was, and even called me by my name, but that was when I got called back to Earth Realm.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t rip you limb from limb the second they saw you,” Lilith admitted. “They apparently had a tendency to do that when they were creatures of this world.”

“I’m still confused about how simply hearing a succubus’ voice brought him out of that place,” Eligor interjected. “That seems too … simple, I guess.”

“What can I say?” Cupi giggled as she walked up to Eligor and then bumped her playfully with the side of her hip. “I know how to make Jacob come.”

“Booooooooooooo!” Todd’s voice called out from above us. “Get some new material, bodacious blonde. Dad jokes are so twenty-seventeen.”

We all turned our attention to the sky as the three-foot tall, red-skinned imp flew down and landed on the sandy ground. Todd threw up his hands as if he were a gymnast who had just performed a successful dismount, and then he began to make small “ahhhhh, ahhhhh” sounds under his breath as he blew kisses to an imaginary crowd.

“You really know how to make an entrance, don’t you?” Lilith mused.

“You were around Jakey and me for years,” Todd shrugged, “you know the Toddster’s always gotta be the center of attention. That’s why me and you never got along, Sideshow Babe. Actually, should I still call you ‘Sideshow Babe?’ That was kinda your nickname when you were posing as that other chick.”

“‘Lilith’ will suffice,” the Demon Queen reassured him. “And I do apologize for all those things I called you when I was posing as Jacob’s lover. You must understand I was just playing a long con … I honestly found most of your antics amusing.”

“Awww, shucks,” Todd said as he lowered his head and kicked at the ground. “You know, I totally didn’t mean all those terrible things I said when you were T-T--uh, that evil hellspawn, either. I mean, I totally meant them, but not towards the real you, Big Bertha.”

“You sure that’s the name you wanna go with?” I asked the imp. “The giant-ass fish from Mario?”

“Hmmmm, maybe not … ” Todd pondered as he rubbed his goatee. “Wait, I got it, bro! She’s a super-smart redhead that’s always one step ahead of everybody else, right? Henceforth, I shall call you ‘Scully.’”

“The giant furry monster?” I raised my eyebrow at the thought, but Todd just let out an overly dramatic sigh.

“Brrroooooo,” the imp clicked his tongue, “Scully. Like, Dana Scully? The super-hot paranormal investigator from X-Files?”

“I can see it,” I admitted after I thought it over for a second. “I could totally be her Mulder.”

“Don’t make it weird, bro.” Todd shuddered.

“I have no idea what either of you are talking about,” Lilith sighed, “but I suppose anything’s better than what he used to call me as your lover. What was it again? ‘Cockslurping Concubine?’ Or there was also ‘Bitchasaurus Rex.’ Or my personal favorite, ‘Whore of Babylon.’”

“Again,” Todd reminded the Demon Queen, “I am very, very sorry.”

“As much as I hate to interrupt the playful banter,” Cupiditas interjected, “shouldn’t we begin our training? Every minute we wait is another moment Beelzebub’s heart is still beating.”

“I’ve always loved your gusto, Cupiditas.” Lilith grinned at the blonde woman. “I suppose you are right. Everyone, I need you to form a large circle around that stage over there.”

Without a single moment’s hesitation or protest, all of the succubi obeyed the Demon Queen’s orders and moved into position. Lilith herself casually walked past the group, strutted onto the stage, and then motioned for me and Eligor to follow her.

The knight and I did as we were asked, and then Eligor turned to address the group.

“Everyone,” she began, “we are all about to embark on a dangerous journey, one that will require the strongest of wills to come out the other side unscathed. I can promise you this journey will push us all to our breaking points, and it may just be the most uncomfortable experience of your entire life. However, it is what must be done if we wish to crush the Lord of the Flies once and for all.”

Eligor halted her speech and then swiftly stepped backward as Lilith took her place at the front of the stage. The two coordinated with such grace, I seriously wondered if they had practiced this before.

“Many of you have never experimented with your black Hellfire before,” the redheaded beauty began, “others have tried to use it and failed, and even fewer of you have actually got it under your control. However, I’m here to tell you that, by the end of the day, you will all have it under your control! And for those of you who already utilize your dark magic abilities … you will take them to the next level.”

There were murmurs throughout the circle of succubi, but they instantly hushed when Eligor joined Lilith’s side.

“For the sake of safety, we’re going to have you each go one at a time,” the bikini armor-clad Knight of Hell explained, “now, for the moment of truth. Who would like to go first?”

“I will!” Tris’ deep, stoned voice blurted out as she made a beeline for the stage. “I wanna get this done as soon as possible so I can go back, veg out on the couch, and watch the Magic Mirror.”

Eligor raised an eyebrow at the Sister of Sloth.

“You know we’re all staying until everybody’s done, right?” she reminded the succubus.

Tris just shrugged. “Then I’ll veg out here. Either way, it’s just about reefer o’clock, and I’ve got a fat one with my name on it.”

“I’m so proud,” I heard Todd’s voice proclaim through a fake sniffle.

“I have the perfect idea,” Lilith chuckled, “where, might I ask, would you keep this ‘fat one?’”

“Oh, it’s sitting back on the workbench of Ariel’s shop,” Tris explained, “tucked away in one of the cups that holds her sketching pencils.”

“Ohhhhhh,” Lilith gasped, “I hope that wasn’t the one I threw out … ”

Suddenly, Tris’ eyes went wide as saucers, and her hands slapped over her cheeks in panic.

“The blue one with the picture of Papa Smurf on it?” the succubus gasped.

“I’m not sure,” Lilith admitted, “I was just going through the workshop, throwing things away that didn’t look important.”

“I-I have to go and find it right now!” the Sister of Sloth insisted, but Eligor held her back.

“Do you feel that, Tristitia?” Eligor grinned. “That’s pure, unadulterated fear. Now, channel that energy into your magic.”

“But--But … my weed … ” the succubus protested.

“Todd can get you some more,” Lilith reassured Tris. “Please try.”

Tristitia relaxed her body and let out a large sigh, even though her hands were still shaking nervously.

“Alright,” Tris finally conceded as she closed her eyes, “fearful magic, coming right up.”

At first, Tris’ hands lit up with her orange necromancy powers, and both of her hands flickered like a vibrant, roaring fire pit as she scrunched her nose and strained to make something happen. Then, finally, the bright orange flames in her hand began to darken. They faded from orange to reddish-orange to maroon, and then finally to black.

When the Sister of Sloth finally opened her eyes, she was in shock.

Meanwhile, everyone else in the coliseum was on edge, ready to jump into action if things went sideways. However, Tris looked like she was on cloud nine.

“How do you feel?” Eligor prompted.

“Still terrified you threw away my weed,” the brunette admitted, “but pretty damn good.”

“Now, we just need to see what your powers can do,” Lilith marveled at the black flames in Tris’ hands. “Attack me.”

“Uh, what now?” Tris gulped.

“It’s fine,” Lilith shot back, “I’m a Demon Queen. The worst thing that could happen is you get hurt, but that’s why Superbia is on standby.”

“Alright … ” Tris said as dozens of emotions showed up on her face. “Just remember you asked for this.”

The Sister of Sloth hauled back like she was about to throw a baseball pitch and then tossed a ball of black flames directly at Lilith.

The Demon Queen stood there, unabashed as the mysterious projectile hurled toward her body. She let out a grunt as the black fire hit her square in the chest, followed immediately by a gasp of surprise as the spell took on a tarry texture and spread across her torso like syrup. Lilith tried to pull her arms free of its grasp, but she was stuck.

“It’s a fucking glue trap.” I whistled.

“Holy shit!” Tris gasped. “You mean I can actually hold people in place? Like, I won’t have to run around and chase them any more? Woohoo!”

A beam of golden Hellfire shot across the landscape of the coliseum from Sia and encased Lilith in its glow. As it did so, the tar began to melt away, and the Demon Queen was freed from her enchanted prison.

“Good job, Tristitia.” She nodded to the Sister of Sloth. “Oh, and by the way … your weed is fine. I just said that to give you a little shot of fear.”

Tris’ thin lips spread into a smile, and she grinned from ear to ear. “So, my doobie is safe and sound? This day keeps getting better and better!”

“Now, I know Eligor said you all had to stay, but I think you’ve earned a few puffs of your treat.” Lilith smiled.

“You mean it?” Tris asked, but Lilith just nodded.

“Well, if your king says it is okay,” the demon queen said as she turned to me.

“Of course,” I said to the beautiful brunette genius.

Tris threw her hands up in victory and then dashed off the stage at the speed of light while all of her sisters cheered.

“Can I go next, Scully?” Todd offered with a raised hand. “I’ve totally got an episode of Bigfoot Files on the DVR with my name on it. The new season just started, you know. I think this is the one where the butterface blonde chick finally shows her tits, and I absolutely cannot miss that.”

“On Bigfoot Files?” I scoffed. “Isn’t that supposed to be a ‘nature documentary?’”

“It went off the rails in Season Ten, bro,” the imp explained as he scurried up to the stage, “like, waaaaay off the rails. Now, what do I gotta do to pass the test?”

“You are a peculiar case, Todd,” Eligor explained. “You’ve already got your fear magic down pat, but I know for a fact you’re not reaching your fullest potential.”

“Sheesh,” Todd mused, “you sound like my English teacher from junior year after I submitted my ThunderCats fanfic.”

“Wait,” I said as I raised my hands, “you wrote a ThunderCats fanfic for your junior English essay?”

“Yep!” Todd declared with a wide grin. “It was super erotic. Talk about a parent teacher conference that would make Mumm-Ra moan and groan--which he did a lot of in the story I wrote, let me tell you.”

“Oh, my god.” I winced.

“Anywho,” Todd continued, “I hate to break it to ya, Goldilocks, but this ain’t gonna be too easy. The Toddster doesn’t scare that easily.”

Lilith was already standing behind the imp, and she was silently morphing her body while he spoke to Eligor. Her elegant golden armor transformed into a pair of old leggings and a baggy purple sweatshirt with my alma mater’s logo on the front. At the same time, her hair grew darker, and her lips became fuller.

I instantly recognized who she’d become, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at how perfect it was for this situation.

She was my ex once more.

“Yo, Todd!” Tamira-Lilith exclaimed as she tapped him on the shoulder. “Did you leave the fucking toilet seat up again, you little bitch?”

Todd’s eyes went wide as he recognized the voice, and then his body went rigid. He slowly turned his head around like a curious owl, until his vision fell upon the figure of my ex-girlfriend. Almost immediately, Todd let out a shriek of terror, surrounded himself with black Hellfire, and zipped up into the sky.

“No! No!” he screamed as he put his two index fingers together to make a cross. “Be gone, foul spawn of Satan!”

Without warning, Todd began to hurl balls of black Hellfire down onto Lilith’s position. The Demon Queen was able to dodge most of them fairly effortlessly, but there was a twist.

As each ball of black flames struck the stage, it exploded into a blinding flash of light. My retinas felt like they were burning, so I had to toss my arm up in front of my face to shield myself from their glow.

“Todd!” I called up at the imp. “You have dark magic flashbangs, bro!”

When the imp heard my voice, he finally calmed down and stopped assaulting my ex.

“Huh,” he pondered as he looked down at his hand curiously. “I really gotta watch out for that when I’m chokin’ the chicken. Mom always warned me I was gonna go blind if I touched it too much … How fucking ironic would that be?”

“Thank you, Toddddd,” Tamira giggled and blew the imp a playful kiss.

Todd scowled at my ex as she snapped her fingers and then turned back into Lilith. The Demon Queen must have enjoyed messing with Todd, because she was still smiling slyly as she scanned the crowd for her next volunteer. Finally, her beautiful green eyes locked with mine, and I knew what was coming.

Lilith pointed at me, turned her arm over, and then beckoned for me to come closer with a crook of her finger.

“I believe it’s your turn, Jacob,” the Demon Queen purred while the rest of the audience whistled and cheered.

“Uhhhh, this is where I make my exit,” Todd chuckled, and then he floated off into the sky while humming the theme song from Greatest American Hero.

“Are you sure you want me to go next?” I asked. “I’ve told you how dangerous my black Hellfire is.”

“We know the risks,” Lilith promised, “but we if can crack the secret to your powers, we will be able to rein in just about anybody else’s.”

“I’ll be right here to call you back, if things get too crazy,” Cupiditas offered with a smile.

“If that even works,” I warned, “we don’t even know if that was the reason I escaped last time. For all I know, it could have been the gas my breakfast burrito was giving me that evening.”

“We have to try,” Lilith reiterated. “Your powers will be quintessential to defeating Beelzebub.”

Well, she had a point there.

So, I took a deep breath as I weighed the options in front of me. On one hand, Lilith was right. We needed an “ace in the hole” against Beelzebub, and black Hellfire magic would be perfect. Then again, I remembered the experience from the last time I tried this.

I may have only been in there for a matter of minutes, but they were minutes I was never going to forget. I really, really didn’t want to go back there.

“It’s already working!” Eligor gasped as she pointed to my hands.

Sure enough, I glanced down at my hands to see them aglow with black Hellfire.

That only made me more fearful. Fearful of what was about to happen next.

“What did we do?” Lilith questioned as she stared at me in awe. “We haven’t even tried to prompt him yet.”

I was a King of Hell. A former demon hunter who had encountered dozens of horrific creatures and killed them without so much as a second thought, but there was one thing that still scared me.

The Shadow World was that thing.

“Jacob, are you alright?” Eligor questioned, but I couldn’t answer her.

That was the last thing I remembered before my entire body was engulfed in black flame, and I felt myself being transported through space and time.

It wasn’t like traveling via green Hellfire. Instead, it was like I was sitting in a pure void of blackness, and I was alone in the universe as I floated toward my destination. Then the world around me reappeared, and my heart fell into my knees.

I was still in the coliseum. Or, at least, a distorted image of it. Everything was frozen in time, and everything looked like it was being reflected into a funhouse mirror.

The succubi were standing in their circle, and each one was stretched out into a Picasso-like caricature of themselves. Even the sand beneath my feet seemed off. It didn’t seem to have any weight to it, but rather felt like I was standing on styrofoam.

Then there was the noise. A crackly, droning white noise rang in my eardrums as if someone had put a speaker right up to my ear canal.

It was fucking unbearable, but I pushed through.

What the fuck was I even supposed to do right now? My magic had once again transported me into another dimension, the dimension that was essentially a prison for Heaven and Hells’ most wanted. What good did this do me in defeating Beelzebub?

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by motion to my left.

Without a second’s hesitation, I spun around and blasted a shot of red Hellfire directly toward whatever was watching me. There was a loud snarl as a lanky, borderless shadow was tossed up into the air like a ragdoll. Its form hung in the air for an unusually long amount of time before it crashed back down to the Earth, let out a frustrated squeal, and then dashed off out of sight.

Was that a Shadow Person, or was that one of the many other horrific things locked away in this place? Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck.

Whatever it was, I was going to fuck it up if it got any closer.

I drew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath and then slowly began to make my way toward the edge of the distorted coliseum. As I passed by the first layer of pillars, my body began to shiver, and I got the strange feeling I was being watched. Suddenly, I saw a figure appear just off to my left, and I thrust my weapon out in front of me.

There, at the point of my blade, stood one of the same figures I’d encountered the first time I was here. Its body was at least six feet tall, with long legs that came up to where a normal human’s chest would be and arms that extended all the way down to its knees. It had glowing red eyes, fangs, and wild strands of what appeared to be hair at the top of its head.

“Welllcome back, Jacob Ralston,” its feminine voice whispered, and it sounded like the fucking thing was right up in my ear.

“Stay the fuck away!” I growled. “I don’t know what you want from me, and I don’t care.”

“Want?” the creature tilted its head to the side. “Weeee don’t ‘want’ anything from you, Jacobbbb.”

“So, what?” I shot back as I tightened my grip on my sword’s hilt. “You’re just gonna kill me?”

The Shadow Person was silent as it tilted its head in the other direction.

“Killll you?” it finally asked. “Who said anythinggg about killing you?”

“Then what do you want?” I demanded. “Why do you know my name?”

“We knowww mannnny things, Jacob,” the voice whispered. “Especially when it comes to the son of Luciferrrrr.”

My heart hammered in my chest as goosebumps rose on my arms. They knew I was the son of Lucifer, the man who put them in this place. I didn’t know what they wanted with me, but there was no way it was anything good.

I let out a growl of anger as I took a swing at the Shadow Person, but she simply sidestepped the blow. At the same time, she reached up, grabbed the sword, and then pulled me in closer.

Oh, fuck no.

As she drew me in, I whipped out my goat headed dagger and shoved it directly into her stomach.

The Shadow Person’s eyes turned into slits as she threw back her head and howled with pain. Tarry black blood splashed out onto my boots, but I didn’t have time to inspect it too closely.

I tore across the sandy ground of the coliseum like a bat out of Hell as I tried to escape this thing. I tried to summon up an emerald portal of Hellfire, but all that emerged from my hand were a few green sparks.

“What the fuck?” I gasped.

Green Hellfire didn’t work here, apparently.

“Jaaaaaacoooooobbbb!” the Shadow Person called out from afar.

The creature’s tone still sounded like she was in pain, but it didn’t have a hint of anger to it.

That made it all the more eerie.

Finally, I heard it. The familiar voice calling me home.

“Jacob … ” Cupi’s voice cut through the white noise, “come back to us, Jacob … ”

I closed my eyes as I let the warmth of the succubus’ voice wash over me like a hot shower. Then, the next thing I knew, I felt myself traveling back through space and time.

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw I was back on the stage, in the coliseum, with all of my succubi surrounding me. They all had looks of grave concern on their faces, but none of them said a word.

Finally, Superbia spoke up.

“What happened in there, Jacob?” she asked. “What did you see?”

“I-I saw a Shadow Person,” I explained in horror. “She knew I was the son of Lucifer, and I’m pretty sure she wanted to capture me or torture me or I don’t fucking know.”

“The Shadow Person knew you were the son of Lucifer … ” Lilith trailed off with a thoughtful expression. “Fascinating. We’ll need to get you back in there as soon as you’ve recovered so you can--”

“Nope!” I interjected as I stood up and began to walk off the stage. “I’m not going back there. You guys keep working on your black Hellfire magic.”

“Wait, Jacob!” Eligor called out. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Ariel’s workshop,” I announced with a shudder, “after what I just saw, I think I’m gonna join Tris in her little ‘relaxation room.’ I really need it right now.”

I turned away from the succubi and headed toward the back of the coliseum, back to where Ariel’s workshop was located. I hadn’t smoked anything in months, but I think today was going to be an exception.

“Hold on, Jacob!” Ariel’s voice panted behind me, and then she appeared to my right. “Here, let me come with you. I can’t use Hellfire magic, anyways.”

“You, smoke weed?” I chuckled as I tried to lighten the mood. “Doesn’t that violate like, every single code of Heaven’s laws?”

The redheaded angel simply smiled and gave me a shrug.

“I broke three fugitives out of Heaven and then took up residence in the Fourth Circle of Hell,” she mused, “I don’t think the rules apply to me anymore. Besides, there are plenty of other things to do in the workshop…”

I couldn’t argue with that.

I extended my arm, and Ariel wrapped hers inside of mine. Then we continued toward the workshop.

As much as I wanted to push it out of my mind, I couldn’t help but think about what I’d just seen in the Shadow World. Was that really the only way?

Because if it was, I still needed a lot more practice.

Chapter 3

When Ariel and I finally arrived at her workshop, we found the door had been left slightly ajar, and a large, dank blanket of smog billowed out through the crevice and assaulted my nostrils with a powerful, sweet smell.

“Looks like Tris has already got the party started,” I coughed out as I pushed open the black wooden door and then motioned for Ariel to enter.

The angel looked at me somewhat hesitantly as she pondered whether or not she wanted to enter the cloud of reefer smoke. After a few moments of consideration, though, Ariel took a large breath, held it, and entered the workshop.

She was so fucking adorable when she was trying to be innocent.

I slid in right after the redhead and then tried to hold back my amusement at what was awaiting us.

Tristitia had moved all of Ariel’s tools and current projects off her workbench and dumped them haphazardly onto the floor. Meanwhile, the succubus herself was sprawled out like a puppet with its strings cut on top of the bench, with two fat doobies in her mouth and her right leg crossed sexily over her left. When the Sister of Sloth saw us enter, she slowly turned her bloodshot eyes in our direction.

“Welcome to Tris’ Yurt of Wonders,” she slurred with a sly grin. “You wanna try a ‘Mellow Marley’? It’s a new strand Todd and I just came up with that’ll put you on your ass for hourrrrss. I rolled up three of them, just for us.”

“But you only have two … ” Ariel pointed out.

Tris furrowed her brow as she processed the angel’s words. Then she reached up, pulled the two joints out of her mouth, and struggled to count them through her baked-out haze.

“Huh,” the succubus pondered, “I guess I smoked one of ‘em already. Wait … how long have I been in here?”

“Like, twenty minutes,” I chuckled as I began to pull off my armor, “thirty at most.”

Tris’ bloodshot eyes stared off into the distance, and she nodded into the void. Meanwhile, I stripped down until I was just in my undergarments, a simple white t-shirt, and a pair of black compression pants.

“I guess that explains a lot,” Tris shrugged and then offered the joints to us, “anyways, take a few puffs. It’ll make you feel waaaaay better.”

“Oh, I don’t know … ” Ariel said as her freckled face turned as red as her hair. “Is it … safe? Metatron was always going on about it being a ‘gateway drug’ and how just one or two puffs could make you addicted.”

Tris and I both looked at each other for a moment before we burst out laughing.

“Ariel,” I guffawed and placed my hand on her delicate shoulder, “Todd knew how to hotbox before he knew simple algebra. If it was really as dangerous as Metatron claims it is, he’d have died in a crackhouse a long time ago.”

“It’s totally safe,” Tris promised as she offered the joint to the angel. “Besides, if worse comes to worst and you do get addicted, we can totally just have Superbia fix you up.”

Ariel pursed her lips for a moment as she mulled it over, but then she finally nodded her head with determination.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” she huffed as she swiped a joint from Tris’ hand, “what’s the worst that could happen?”

The redheaded angel held the doobie up to her lips and inhaled as deeply as she possibly could. Then her body relaxed, and she swallowed the smoke.

“Wait!” I gasped. “You don’t--”

Before I could finish, the angel doubled over and broke out in a fit of harsh coughs. Her slender hand reached out and grabbed my arm for stability as she hacked, but within seconds, she was back to normal.

Or at least, almost back to normal.

Her eyes were filled with water from her hacking fit, and her pupils were now dilated immensely.

“Well?” Tris questioned as she rolled over, sat up on the bench, and leaned forward excitedly. “What do you think? Did we knock it out of the park?”

“This is what you and Todd do for fun?” Ariel coughed. “How do you guys even breathe?”

“You’re supposed to inhale it, not swallow,” I explained as I grabbed the other joint from Tris, “usually you just do two puffs at a time. Watch.”

I held the doobie between my index finger and thumb, raised it up to my mouth, and then inhaled twice in rapid succession. Instantly, the sweet warmth of the substance overtook my lungs, and I could feel all the tension in my body disappearing. All of my worries dissipated in my mind as things like Beelzebub, my black Hellfire, and the Shadow World became distant memories.

By the time I exhaled, I couldn’t focus on anything other than the situation at hand.

Ariel followed my lead and took two brief inhalations of the joint. Then she exhaled a puff of smoke into the air, shook her head excitedly, and let out a small “woo.”

“Is it supposed to feel all warm going down?” Ariel questioned as she stared at the doobie in her hand in amazement.

“That’s the best part,” Tris sighed as she watched us with amusement, “also, be glad Todd’s not here. He’d be making soooo many inappropriate jokes at what you just said.”

The three of us continued to share our joints back and forth for another thirty minutes or so, until we had completely depleted the small white logs. Then Tris fumbled around in her pocket for anything else she possibly had, but the succubus came up empty.

“Nothing?” Ariel asked. Her eyes were now bloodshot, and her demeanor was completely relaxed.

It was strange to see the angel in this state. Normally, she was the peppy one of the group, full of energy and always on the move. Now, though, she just sat there as she leaned up against the workbench with her tight athletic shirt slowly riding up and exposing her washboard abs.

I felt my cock throbbing in my pants as I thought about what had happened the last time me and Ariel were alone in here.

“Whooooaaaa!” Tris gasped as she pointed down at my crotch. “I think this strain must increase blood flow or something. Either that, or Jacob’s getting way too excited to be in here.”

“Why wouldn’t I be excited?” I shot back and motioned to Ariel’s tummy. “I’m alone in a secluded building with two or the most beautiful women I know, and one of them is already starting to slip out of her shirt.”

“Oh, you want me to slip out of my shirt?” the redhead giggled.

I watched with pure glee as Ariel winked, reached down, and then tugged off the rest of her shirt. She was wearing a blue sports bra underneath that hugged up against her perfectly shaped breasts, but her slender arms and fit stomach were now on full display. Not to mention, her nipples were erect as they pushed against the fabric of her bra.

“Damn,” Tris said in an overly serious voice. “I knew you were a fitness freak, but holy shit.”

“You could look like this too,” Ariel giggled, “all you have to do is follow my training regimen. Get up at six and go on a morning jog … followed by a set of one hundred burpies and fifty pushups … then a--”

“You lost me at ‘six am.’” Tris raised her hand to cut off the angel. “How about this, I’ll let you be the fit, hot one, and I’ll just be the lazy bum, okay?”

“You’re way too hard on yourself,” Ariel cooed as she blinked hazily. “You’re totally hot, too. Just in a ‘laid back, don’t give a damn’ sort of way.”

Tristitia smiled bashfully at Ariel’s kind words, but then the succubus looked down at the floor and bit her lip.

“You’re all fucking hot,” I interjected. “Every single woman on my team is a freaking bombshell, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Both of the women looked at me longingly, but remained silent.

“You know,” Tris finally spoke up, “we are all alone in here … and I don’t know about you guys, but this stuff is making me way hornier than I thought it would.”

“It’s obviously working on him, too,” Ariel purred as she nodded down at my erection. “Jacob’s warhammer looks like it’s locked and loaded and ready for battle.”

My cock grew even harder in my pants as the two women marveled at it, until it got to the point where I thought it was going to push through the fabric of my pants.

There was sensual electricity in the air, but nobody seemed to make a move. Finally, Tris let out a long sigh.

“Well?” she chuckled. “You’re closer. Aren’t you gonna help him get it out so we can satisfy our King?”

Ariel’s face blushed deeply as she placed her hand over her mouth.

“You mean, like, at the same time?” she gasped. “Like, together?”

“Well, yeah,” Tris retorted as she slid off the workbench and strutted over to my position. “I’m sure as hell not gonna do all the work. That’s way too much dick for just one girl, ya know.”

“It’s just … I’ve never been with … another girl,” Ariel admitted.

“Don’t think of it as being with another girl,” Tris offered as she placed her soft hand against my cheek, and I reciprocated the action. “Think of it as a competition. You’re super competitive, right? Who do you think can get Jacob off faster?”

“Can I just say I really, really like the idea of this game?” I admitted as I felt myself hit full mast.

Without another word, I pulled Tristitia’s lips against mine, and our tongues began to explore each other’s mouths. We both still reeked of the sweet leaf, but I didn’t care.

At the same time, Tris’ hand traveled down below my waistband and grabbed onto my cock. The tall brunette began to stroke me gently as we made out, and I responded with a series of ecstatic moans. As our tongues tied knots around each other, I felt a second pair of hands wrap around my waist and a set of soft lips press against my back.

“I guess if it’s a competition … ” Ariel cooed, “I’m in.”

Suddenly, the redheaded angel’s hands grabbed my waistband from behind and yanked my pants down to my ankles. Tris made a gasping sound as my dick popped loose and nearly slapped her in the thigh as it swung free, and the next thing I knew, I felt Ariel tugging my shirt off my back.

Seconds later, I was completely naked, and my clothes were in a heap on the ground beside us.

“Now, wait a minute,” I teased as I pulled away from Tris’ lips and ran my fingers across her pert breasts, “why am I the only one who’s naked?”

Before anyone could answer, I began to unbutton the metal fasteners on Tris’ torso armor. Soon, the final button snapped loose, and the succubus’ shirt fell back to expose her perky boobs.

I leaned forward and rubbed one of Tris’ breasts delicately as I tenderly sucked on the other’s nipple. The Sister of Sloth moaned loudly in response, so I switched sides.

I had to give them both equal attention, after all.

As I sucked on Tris’ nipples, I fumbled to get her leather bottoms off. All the while, Ariel reached around and stroked me from behind, with one hand jerking my dick and the other rubbing tenderly at my balls.

Her touch was heavenly, and I wondered if I was going to lose it right then and there.

Finally, I yanked off Tris’ bottoms, reached down, and slid a finger inside of her delicate slit. At the same time, I used my thumb to rub at her clitoris, and her body immediately told me I was on the right track.

“Oh, fuck!” Tris moaned as I slowly fingered her.

“Don’t just finger her,” Ariel whispered into my ear, “a sexy succubus like that needs all of you inside of her. Right now.”

Holy shit. Was this the same Ariel who had been hesitant to be with a girl?

I slid my finger out of Tris, but before I could even position myself, the redheaded angel made her move.

Ariel took my cock firmly in her hands, aimed it at Tris’ pussy, and guided it inside of the succubus.

Both Tris and I let out a gasp of pleasure as I entered her warm tunnel, and her sopping wet walls squeezed around me. I slapped my hands underneath the succubus’ thighs, picked her up into the air, and then moved her back so her ass was squarely on the workbench.

Now, she was at the perfect height for me to go to town on her.

“Holy fuck, Jacob … ” Tris moaned as she wrapped her legs around my waist and then pulled me in deeper.

I groaned as the tip of my cock bottomed out inside of her, and then I slowly began a pattern of pulling out and then sliding back inside of her at a snail’s pace.

“Quit teasing her!” Ariel demanded, and then I felt her hands clap against my ass.

The angel pushed me forward until I was balls deep in Tris, and the Sister of Sloth’s eyes rolled back in her head as she let out an eardrum-shattering moan.

Ariel’s lips kissed my naked back while she helped guide my rhythm in and out of the sexy brunette on the bench.

I was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff as I watched Tris’ breasts bounce in unison with my thrusts and felt shivers shoot down my spine with each kiss from Ariel.

“I-I think I’m about to … Holy shiiiit!” Tris gasped as her pussy convulsed around my erection.

As the brunette succubus tensed up and quivered against my body, I felt the warm coil release.

“Yessss.” I thrust into Tris one last time, kissed her passionately, and then groaned as I filled her deeply with my seed. My climax seemed to last a good ten seconds but once I thought I was done, I thrust a few more times deep into her for good measure before I slid out and stumbled backward.

“Sorry about the mess on your workbench,” I joked as I looked back over my shoulder at Ariel.

The redheaded angel’s eyes were narrow and hungry.

“It’s about to get even messier,” she warned, and then she placed her hand against my bare chest.

Ariel pulled away, reached down to the bottom of her sports bra, and pulled it over her head. As she did so, her small, perky, freckled breasts popped loose one by one, and I could already feel the sensation returning to my dick. Then, without breaking eye contact, Ariel slid her pants off her body to reveal her shaved, tight pussy.

Ariel maintained her eye contact as she sauntered over, got down on her knees, and took my semi-erection in her hands. The angel raised it up, slid her lips around the head of my cock, and then forced it into her throat as far as it would go.

The tip hit the back of her throat, and my semi-erection was “semi” no more.

Ariel blew my dick intensely as she ran her hands all around my legs, waist, and ass. The entire time, her bright green eyes stayed locked onto mine.

I didn’t know why, but it was super fucking hot.

Finally, I heard some noise from behind me as Tris jumped off the workbench.

“I can’t believe I’m offering to do more work,” the brunette succubus joked, “but could I help you with that?”

“By all means,” Ariel cooed as she let my cock slip from her lips.

As Tris got down on her knees, Ariel raised my cock at an upward angle and then ran her tongue all the way up the shaft.

The next thing I knew, Tris’ tongue joined her on the other side, and I felt myself almost explode right then and there.

The two beautiful women continued with the tongue action for quite some time, and they alternated between licking my shaft and balls and then sucking on my cock while the other ran their hands along their partner’s body.

Ariel looked like she was hesitating once more, but then she made a move I’d never forget. As she and Tris’ mouths approached the top of my dick, Ariel let her tongue intertwine with the succubus’. Somehow, my erection grew even larger as I watched the two beautiful women make out around my cock, and I worried I was going to shower them with my orgasm before I could make it any further.

Finally, the two women pulled away from each other and looked at the workbench.

“I had my turn on that thing,” Tris cooed, “now it’s you guys’ turn.”

I stood up, moved over to the workbench, and sat down on top of it. Then I watched with bated breath as both of the sexy, naked women strutted over beside me.

Tris reached out, grabbed my erection firmly, and held it in place as Ariel climbed up on top of me.

“Put his hammer in me. I need it so bad.” The freckled angel wiggled her hips as she got into position, and then she smiled at me happily as the lips of her tight pussy caught my cock in their grip. Ariel bit her lip and grunted as she took it all in, but within no time, I felt her tight ass press up against my balls, and I knew we were in good shape.

Ariel leaned backward and put her supple breasts on full display as she rode me like a fucking horse, and it wasn’t long before Tris got in on the action, too. The Sister of Slot reached over and began to rub at Ariel’s clit as delicately as she could.

“Oh, my god … ” Ariel moaned as she arched her back and intensified her motions.

I wrapped my hands around her tight ass and squeezed as I began to thrust my hips upwards. The dual motions put me as deep into the redhead as I could possibly go, and we were both in a state of pure ecstasy. Finally, Ariel leaned forward and shoved her perfect, perky breasts into my face, and that was when I reached the point of no return.

Thankfully, so was Ariel.

The redhead gasped as she began to slow her rhythm, and her moans became much more hurried and closer together. Her pussy lips shuddered around my cock before they tightened up, and then she threw her head back and let out a long, deep groan of pleasure as she came.

The sound of Ariel’s satisfaction sent me over the edge, and I released what felt like a gallon of my seed into the angel’s tight tunnel.

“Ohhhhhh,” she gasped when my cum flooded her tunnel, and then her eyes opened a bit wider when she immediately began to climb up to a higher peak of her orgasm.

“Damn,” I groaned. “You are squeezing me so tight.”

The angel’s pussy really did have a kung fu grip on my shaft, and for a few moments, it actually felt like her tunnel was milking me just like fingers would milk a cow. The sensation worked though, and I tensed up three more times as my balls somehow found more cream to pour into her.

Then we descended from our climaxes, and Ariel gave me one final kiss before she winked, shook her hips, and climbed off my erection.

“Holy shit,” I whistled as I leaned back on the workbench, “I dunno what was in that weed you gave us, but I want some more. Like, immediately.”

“Are you sure that’s an angel?” Tris teased as she watched Ariel strut over to her discarded clothes. “Because I haven’t fucked demons who are as dirty as that girl.”

“What can I say?” Ariel shrugged. “I know what I want.”

“It’s always the innocent ones,” I chuckled to the Sister of Sloth.

Tris and I both watched in awe as Ariel pulled her clothes back onto her body, and then we followed suit.

“That was a nice little distraction.” The angel grinned as she walked back over to the workbench and hoisted herself up onto it.

“Unfortunately, that’s all it was,” I sighed, “I honestly wish I could just stay in here with you two all day, smoking weed and fucking like jackrabbits.”

“The night’s still young,” Tris half-joked. “I could totally see if I’ve got some more of that shit back at the castle. And for the fucking? Well … I’m down for round two whenever.”

“I wish,” Ariel shrugged, “but Jacob’s right. We need to get back out there to the others and see how they’re coming along on their whole ‘black Hellfire’ exercise before they think we were sucked up by the Shadow World or something like that.”

“Ugh, don’t even remind me of that place.” I shuddered as my mind returned to the desolate, surreal landscape. “I honestly don’t even see the point of my black Hellfire magic. Both times I’ve used it, all it’s done is transport me to the Shadow World, where I’ve promptly been Zerg rushed by swarms of scary-looking Shadow People.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Ariel questioned as she swung her legs back and forth, “what does the Shadow World and its inhabitants look like?”

I hesitated for a moment as I wondered if I wanted to expose this delicate creature to the horrors I’d seen. Ultimately, I chose to answer.

“It’s like our world, only a lot more distorted and scary,” I explained, “and everything’s frozen and surreal, almost like looking into a funhouse mirror torn straight out of a horror movie. I just don’t see how that’s gonna help us defeat Beelzebub.”

A lightbulb must have gone off in Tris’ head, because she suddenly gasped, raised her hand, and began to bounce up and down excitedly.

“Hold up, I think I’ve got it!” the Sister of Sloth called out. “You said it’s like a mirror version of our world, right?”

“Right.”

“And everything that would be in our world is frozen, right?” the brunette continued.

“Right,” I confirmed.

“Boom!” Tris exclaimed as she clapped her hands together. “You can use the Shadow World for transportation!”

Ariel’s eyes lit up as she realized what Tris was saying, but I still wasn’t following.

“That’s brilliant!” the redhead mused. “Jacob’s entire army could go from the Fourth Circle all the way to the Eighth Circle without having to go through all the obstacles, and without Abaddon or Beelzebub even knowing about it.”

“Uh, I think you’re forgetting one thing … ” I sighed, “there are plenty of obstacles in the Shadow World. Mainly, freaky-ass shadow beings who know everything about me and want to eat my liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

“How powerful are these beings?” Ariel questioned.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted with a shrug. “I was able to make the one I just encountered bleed, so they must be vulnerable to our Earth Realm weapons.”

“Then maybe that’s our solution,” Tris added. “We travel through the Shadow World and kill anything that tries to get in our way.”

It was an intriguing thought, but an extremely risky one. Tris was right, if we moved our troops through the Shadow World, we could appear on Beelzebub’s doorstep without giving him any advance notice. We could pop in, kick his ass, and kill him before the fucker even knew what happened.

On the other hand, look at my reaction to this place. Just being there for a few minutes had completely fucked with my psyche and made me paranoid, and I really didn’t want to expose all of my friends to that. Then there were the Shadow People. It wasn’t exactly a danger free zone.

Then again, neither was leading an entire army through the Circles of Hell. Abaddon and I had agreed to a ceasefire in the Seventh Circle, but I didn’t trust that fucker as far as I could throw him. He was a loose cannon, and I feared he could turn on me at any second.

There was also the Eighth Circle. Beelzebub’s territory that I knew nothing about beyond what I’d read in The Divine Comedy.

Both of those endeavors were risky, but it was obvious which one yielded a higher reward.

So, I stood up, walked over to my armor, and began to put it back on, piece by piece.

“Where are you going?” Tris asked with a pout. “I totally thought we were gonna stay here and party some more?”

“We need to go talk to the others,” I explained, “to see if they’re up for a little special ops mission to the Shadow World.”

Chapter 4

When we finally arrived back at the coliseum, all of my teammates were huddled around Cupiditas, who just stood there and continuously shook her head back and forth stubbornly.

“I won’t do it,” she declared, “not again. I swore I would never go back to the place, and I’ve kept that promise to myself for the last sixty-thousand years.”

“We will all be here for you this time, Cupiditas,” Superbia prompted. “The last time you attempted to use your magic, you were all alone. Surely, that only added to your fear and, in turn, made your fear-driven magic all the more uncontrollable.”

“I just … I don’t think I can do it,” Cupi sighed as Tris, Ariel, and I approached the group. “What if I end up trapped in purgatory for weeks again?”

“My dear,” Lilith explained as she stepped forward and put her arm on the blonde’s shoulder, “purgatory doesn’t exist. It’s just a place the humans made up in order to fit their need for a religious narrative, or, more particularly, their need for money. I figured you of all people would know that, considering you’re the Sister of Greed.”

Cupi looked into Lilith’s eyes defiantly.

“I went somewhere,” she shot back, “somewhere that wasn’t Heaven or Hell or even the Shadow World. A place where there was … nothing. Just darkness and loneliness, with not a single other soul in existence.”

“But you were physically there?” Lilith questioned. “Are you sure it wasn’t some sort of vision or dream or anything like that?”

“You don’t dream for weeks,” Cupi shuddered, “trust me. Libidine was there.”

“I was,” Liby spoke up, “Cupi didn’t just fall asleep or pass out like she was in a coma. She completely vanished off the face of the universe.”

“Fascinating.” Lilith grinned. “All the more reason to call down your dark magic and see where it takes you … an undiscovered plane of existence could be integral in defeating our enemies.”

Cupi thought about it for a second, but then she shook her head.

“I can’t,” she reaffirmed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t take that risk again. I’ll take the full wrath of Jacob when he gets here but please, don’t make me go back to that place again.”

“Wrath of Jacob?” I spoke up from the outskirts of the crowd. “Come on, the worst I can do is a light scolding, and I hate even doing that.”

“Ah, King Ralston,” Lilith purred as her dark eyes darted over to mine, “good to see you have returned. How was your little … ‘rest?’ Were both of your women to your satisfaction?”

“It was wonderful, and I feel ten times better.” I nodded, but then I turned my attention back to Cupi. “What exactly is going on here?”

“We were just trying to get Cupiditas to explore her black Hellfire,” Lilith interjected. “However, the Sister of Greed isn’t exactly being cooperative.”

“Of course she’s not,” I retorted to the Demon Queen, “I wouldn’t be, either, if it trapped me in purgatory whenever I used it. I wasn’t even keen on returning to the Shadow World, and I was only there a few minutes.”

“I understand,” Lilith responded, but I could tell she was frustrated, “but I simply thought we could use this power to our advantage. Anything we have that Beelzebub doesn’t know about could be integral to our ultimate victory. And if it’s something even Lucifer himself doesn’t know about … let’s just say, we’d have an advantage nobody else, not even the Exalted One, would have over him.”

“Good luck with that,” I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. “Now that we’re talking about it out loud, my father definitely knows. He’s always watching me.”

A devilish smile spread up Lilith’s round face as she clicked her tongue. The Demon Queen crossed her hands over her chest, sassily moved her hip to the left, and then raised a dark red eyebrow.

“You really don’t know, do you?” she chuckled to herself. “Lucifer can’t hear a damn thing right now. Watch this.”

“What do you mean--”

Lilith stepped forward, clapped her hands together, and then fell down to her knees as if she was praying.

“Oh, Lucifer!” she mocked. “You are, without a doubt, the most pathetic excuse for a king the universe has ever seen. Your powers are nothing compared to the Exalted One, and they are soon to be dwarfed by the Nephilim you call your son! You are unworthy of the title ‘Lucifer.’”

“What are you doing?” I gasped.

The last thing we wanted to do was piss off the literal Devil. He was already a giant pain in my ass, and that was with him acting as a neutral party. If he was angry and really wanted to do some damage?

I didn’t even want to think of what would happen then.

“Devil!” Lilith continued in her overly dramatic tone. “Satan! Foul Serpent! Or, should I call you by your most despised name--”

“Lilith!” I hissed as I summoned purple Hellfire into my hand and tossed up a tiny flame in front of her mouth.

The Demon Queen’s brow furrowed as she tried to muffle out the forbidden name of my father. She threw her arms down to her side, stood up swiftly, and then grumbled as her eyes narrowed and she pointed to the flames on her mouth.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the plight of Lilith, but I dropped the shield almost instantly the second I saw her body tense up and her face start to turn red.

Lucifer may have been number one on the list of people I didn’t want to piss off, but Lilith was right up there, too.

“We’re perfectly fine, Jacob,” she grumbled, “Lucifer can’t hear us because we’re inside of a magic circle.”

“A what?”

“A magic circle,” the Demon Queen sighed. “The only preventative measure that a being can take against Lucifer.”

“Let me explain,” Eligor offered as she stepped up, “much like the Exalted One, the Devil is everywhere at all times, and early humans quickly discovered this. So, a few of the more … brave humans went to the angels and tried to cut them a deal. They wanted to learn how to protect themselves from Lucifer, and in return they would pledge their undying loyalty to the Exalted One.”

“Are you trying to tell me that’s how religion started?” I questioned.

“That’s exactly what happened,” the Knight of Hell confirmed, “why do you think so many of the early religions were polytheistic? They were worshipping several of the angels and, in some cases, demons.”

“Man,” I whistled, “Todd would be having a field day with all of this. But what does that have to do with hiding from Lucifer?”

“The angels taught humans how to create the Protective Circle spell, the same one the Exalted One has around all of his domain,” Lilith continued. “It’s quite simple, actually. You just need to create a circle and then say the enchantment ‘protegam eum de terra perdere.’”

“You can use anything to make the circle, too,” Eligor added, “for example, we are using our bodies.”

I looked around and noticed it was true. All of my succubi were specifically standing with their arms linked so they created a perfect circle.

“Well, shit … ” I mused, “why didn’t we find out about this sooner? That sorta obscure shit would be right up Todd’s alley, but he never mentioned it to me before.”

“I’m not familiar with it, either,” Superbia admitted.

“That’s because Lucifer went to great lengths to keep demons from finding out.” Lilith shrugged. “Think about it. How effective is the omnipotent King of Hell if he can’t even eavesdrop on the simple conversations of his subservients? Many biblical scholars, priests, and others within the Exalted One’s inner circle knew about the enchantment, but it’s not like it is common knowledge.”

“If it’s such a well-kept secret, then how did you figure it out?” Libidine interjected from her place near the top of the circle.

“Please,” Lilith giggled, “I’m the Demon Queen. The Mistress of Evil. The Great Madame to all of the succubi in existence. I have my ways of getting information from humans … mostly thanks to the giant network of sex demons I send out to fuck them every day and night. You’d be amazed what kind of things humans will give up during pillow talk, especially with a little bit of prompting.”

This was great. Now, we could go about our planning without my father listening in to our every move. That, coupled with the Shadow World at our disposal, and we could easily make a few power plays that would keep him on his toes.

I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, though. Before we could worry about Lucifer, we needed to worry about Beelzebub.

And the only way we were going to get to that lanky, razor-winged son of a bitch was by using our Shadow World powers to the fullest.

If we wanted to, of course. Which brought me back to Cupiditas.

“That’s great,” I agreed, “but we need to talk about our black Hellfire. First off, if Cupi doesn’t want to use her dark magic, she doesn’t have to. I’m not going to ask her to do anything that puts herself or others at risk.”

“Thank you,” Cupiditas said with a relieved sigh.

“Of course,” Lilith agreed, but I could tell she really didn’t.

“Second, the three of us had an epiphany when we were in the workshop,” I continued, “I think we can use my Shadow World powers to our advantage.”

“Oh?” the Demon Queen asked.

“Bear with me here,” I began, “but whenever I go into the Shadow World, it looks just like a giant mirror of our world, only distorted and scary. And it’s not accessible by anyone but me, right? So, Tris got the bright idea that we could use it to travel between the different Circles of Hell, completely undetected. Lucifer wouldn’t know. Abaddon wouldn’t know. And, most importantly, Beelzebub wouldn’t know.”

“That sounds too risky,” Lilith sighed, “you made it sound like the Shadow People were ready to rip you apart the second they saw you. What happens if we take our entire army into the Shadow World and then they’re assaulted by its inhabitants? We don’t need to weaken our forces by fighting a whole other battle before we even get to the Eighth Circle.”

“Well, here’s what I was thinking … ” I trailed off for effect. “What if a small group of us went in first? Just to test the waters and see just how dangerous it is? For all I fucking know, those dozen or so Shadow People I saw the first time I was there could be the only people there.”

“I highly doubt that,” Lilith scoffed.

“We don’t know that for sure,” I shot back, “we can’t know that for sure until we actually send somebody in there for an extended period of time.”

Lilith looked hesitant and deep in thought as she pondered my proposal. Finally, she gave me a once-over, and then nodded somberly.

“It’s not a bad plan,” she admitted, “but it’s beyond risky. Remember, the Shadow People were put in this dimension because they were too difficult for Lucifer and the Exalted One to control … ”

“Then it’s a damn good thing I’m not Lucifer or the Exalted One, isn’t it?” I chuckled, and then scanned the circle of my succubi. “The only issue is … who can I take? We can’t send in too large of a group, or else they’ll be on us like flies on shit.”

“If I may make a suggestion?” Eligor asked. “Once you are in the Shadow World, your powers will be somewhat muted. At least, all of your powers aside from one.”

“The black Hellfire,” I deduced.

“Exactly,” the blonde Knight confirmed with a nod. “Not that any of your succubi are superior to any of your others, but I would suggest you take those who have exhibited excellence in the use of their black magic.”

“Okay,” I agreed, “so Eclipse and Sia are a definite must.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree,” Superbia sighed. “If we are truly preparing for the final battle with Beelzebub, somebody needs to go alert the other Demon Kings. And with this being such a pressing matter, it would be wise if you sent physical dignitaries, rather than just a simple message. Being your Madames, Mirage and myself would be the perfect candidates to do that.”

I couldn’t argue with that logic.

“Alright,” I nodded, “you two will be in charge of contacting the rest of the Demon Kings. Cupi? Do you think our Shades are prepared for battle?”

“They’re as ready as they ever could be,” Cupiditas replied. “I think that fight with Pazuzu really helped get them into fighting shape. That, plus all of my Sisters acting as generals makes me feel confident they will be a force to be reckoned with.”

“Good. You can ready the troops while the other two are off communing with our allies. That just leaves us rounding out the strike team … Who all got to test out their powers while I was gone?”

“They all did,” Lilith said with a proud smirk. “Well, except for Cupiditas, of course. Each one had something unique to bring to the table.”

“Which ones do you think will be the most helpful in the Shadow World, though?” I questioned. “Right now, we’ve got Eclipse, and I definitely want to add Todd and Tris to the equation, since I’ve seen their black Hellfire in action. Oh, shit! Can somebody go get Todd?”

“I’m on it!” Ariel called out as she bounced on her toes. “I needed to get my cardio for the day in, anyway.”

The redheaded angel took off like a bat out of Hell toward the exit, and I had to put my hands up to my mouth so she would hear my warning.

“Whatever you do, make sure you knock first!” I called out. “If not, I can’t be responsible for what you see on the other side of those doors!”

The fit, athletic woman disappeared through the exit of the coliseum, and I turned back to the rest of my team.

“You should take Ira,” Cupiditas suggested.

“Ohhhhh,” Ira groaned as her eyes glittered with mischief. “I can’t wait to use these abilities on some naughty Shadow People.”

“Well, now I have to know what went down while I was gone,” I said as I clapped my hands together in anticipation.

“Tell him, Sister.” Cupi grinned.

“I can create a ball gag out of my black Hellfire!” Ira sighed longingly. “A giant black flame wraps around their throat that must, like, crush their vocal cords or something. It’s fucking fabulous.”

“That’s really fucking cool,” I admitted, though I was a tad creeped out, “perfect for stealth missions just like this one. You’re definitely coming with us. What about the rest of you?”

“I’ll go.” Inpulsa shrugged and stepped forward. “My black Hellfire combines with my lightning and creates these weird, dark tendrils that spread across crowds.”

“Chain lightning,” I whistled, “what else do you all have?”

“My dark powers have given me some sort of toxic powers,” Liby spoke up with a broad smile. “When I toss a ball of black Hellfire onto the ground, it disperses a strange fog of poison gas!”

“That one was fun to figure out,” Lilith chuckled, “thankfully, Sia healed us all before the spell could fully take effect.”

“My powers seem to be tied to my weapon,” Gula said next, “as are Deja’s.”

“Oh, yeah,” Deja giggled, “it’s totally fucking cool. Check this out!”

The Cali-girl succubus was all smiles as she summoned forth her spiked chain, encased it in black Hellfire, and then let it fall down onto the ground lifelessly.

“I’m not sure I’m following,” I admitted.

“Just watch,” Deja reassured me with a wink. “Gula, you ready to go to bat?”

Gula, the Sister of Gluttony, called forth her giant battle axe with a flash of red Hellfire. Then she took it in her hand like a baseball bat, covered it with black fire, and prepared for whatever was going to happen next.

Suddenly, Deja’s chain came to life. Its bottom curled over itself like a snake, and then the spear at its end raised up into the air and hung there, suspended by the black Hellfire. Next, Deja clapped her hands together, and the spear shot forward like a rocket, directly at Gula.

The Sister of Gluttony wasn’t fazed, though.

She readied herself, let out a large sigh, and then swung at the air. However, her body didn’t stop. Gula’s momentum continued the swing until she had done a full one-eighty, and then it kept going. Within seconds, Gula’s body and axe were nothing more than a spinning blur.

The tip of Deja’s spear struck the spinning mass and was then launched backward into the air like a foul ball.

“Homerun!” the tanned brunette giggled, and then she called her chain back into her hand, turned toward me, and put her hands on her hips. “Pretty damn cool, huh?”

“Very damn cool,” I agreed with a smile.

“Whooooaaa,” Todd’s voice whistled from across the coliseum, “maybe I should start calling Firecracker ‘Michael Jordan,’ because she totally hit that one outta the park!”

“That’s the wrong sport, Todd,” Ariel sighed as she and the imp slunk back over to the group.

“You sure about that, Little Mermaid?” Todd clarified. “Because I totally thought Brett Favre and Michael Jordan were the slapshot champions of the world?”

“There is so much wrong with that sentence, I don’t even know where to start.” Ariel shook her head.

“Eh, oh, well,” Todd retorted with a wave of his hand, “wrestling’s where it’s at, anyways.”

“Oh, you like wrestling?” Ariel perked up at bit. “What did you think of the Gold Medal match at last year’s Olympics?”

Todd turned his head to the side as he pondered Ariel’s question, but then he burst out laughing.

“I ain’t talking about that kinda wrestling,” he clarified, “I’m talkin’ about the real shit. Ya know, with Stone Cold and The Rock and Andre the Giant and, of course, the greatest wrestler to ever grace the ring, the Hulkster.”

“Oh.” Ariel rolled her eyes, and then said nothing more.

“Anywho, what’s the shindig here, bro?” Todd asked. “Did your little trip into the Shadow Realm work out okay? And, more importantly, did you bring me back a souvenir?”

“We’re just going over everyone’s new powers,” I explained. “We need to investigate the Shadow World, but we want to make sure we take the best team possible.”

“Well, I feel sorry for the poor sucker who gets roped into doing that,” Todd chuckled.

The group went silent as we all stared at him, but he didn’t seem to be getting the hint.

“Todd … ” I tried to lead him to the conclusion, but it took him a hot minute.

Then, finally, realization lit up his tiny red face.

“What?” he gasped. “You want me to go? I’m somehow flattered and insulted all at the same time, bro.”

“It’s a stealth mission, Todd,” I explained, “so we need your invisibility powers and your new flashbang magic. Those could both get us out of a pickle. If we find ourselves in one, of course.”

“Awwww, Jakey … ” Todd fake-sniffled, “I knew you all thought I was more than just the eye candy of this group.”

All of us tried to hold in our laughter, but a little bit of it slipped through the cracks. Todd just looked confused as we all giggled to ourselves.

“That’s right, bro,” I humored the imp, “we need you for your looks and your powers.”

“And my brains,” Todd added.

“And the brains,” I repeated, “but we still--”

“And my charm.”

“Right,” I continued, “but I was saying--”

“And my massive, maaaaassssive horse cock,” the imp interrupted. “Oh, and don’t forget my ripped bod. Those are what gets us all the ladies, bro.”

“Of course they are.” I rolled my eyes. “What I was saying is a couple of the succubi still need to show us their new abilities. Mirage, Invidia, Sia, and Eclipse, I believe.”

“My powers pretty much stayed the same,” Eclipse admitted, “the only difference is now, I can move my black holes at will instead of just launching them in the air and holding them there. It’s pretty cool, I guess.”

“Always the charmer,” Superbia joked, “but I’m afraid my power set has remained fairly static, as well. I can now manipulate things that are caught in my black Hellfire down to the millimeter, but that’s about it.”

“Those are still both really good upgrades,” I reminded the two succubi.

“Seriously,” Todd added, “Lizbeth there could totally play interdimensional pong with two of her portals. Orrrr, she could use ‘em as demonic roombas!”

“Demonic roombas?” Eclipse raised her eyebrow at the imp.

“Totally,” he mused, “say there’s a mess on the floor, and you don’t wanna bust out the Dyson. Just throw up one of those sucky portal thingies, move it around the room, and voila! Mess is gone.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Eclipse lied.

“Then that leaves two,” I said as I turned to Mirage and Invidia.

“My black magic is kind of … macabre,” Mirage sighed.

“It really is,” Invidia said with an uncharacteristic half-smile, “I really wish I had it.”

“What, does it force people to listen to the greatest hits of Paramore?” Todd giggled. “I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemy.”

“Paramore is an incredible band!” Vidia growled as she wagged her finger at Todd. “You just don’t understand their message.”

“Oh, I get it alright,” the imp muttered to himself, “it just so happens to make my ears bleed.”

“I can show people their greatest fears,” Mirage spoke up to diffuse the situation. “Or, more specifically, I can manifest them in an illusion. Like so.”

“Wait!” Todd pleaded. “Don’t you dare--”

Before he could finish, the imp’s eyes lit up with black Hellfire, and he began to shriek in terror. He threw his hands up in the air and began to make a beeline for the exit, but I stopped him with a quick cast of purple fire. Instead, Todd smacked into the barrier, fell down on his ass, and then rolled around on the ground in the fetal position.

“You okay, bro?” I questioned as the flames disappeared from his eyes.

“F-fucking Mr. Socko, bro … ” he shuddered. “He was on a giant hand, coming straight for me.”

“Who the fuck is Mr. Socko?”

“Mr. Socko … ” the imp repeated, “that creepy ass sock puppet Mick ‘Mankind’ Foley always wore on his hand. It scared the shit out of me as a kid, bro, and I still see that sharpie-faced fucker in my nightmares.”

Huh. I always knew Todd had some strange fears, but I never in a million years would have guessed he was afraid of sock puppets. I guess that explained his disgusting habit of never wearing socks when he was a human.

“Totally badass, right?” Invidia smiled, but then she returned to a frown the second she saw everyone else was looking at her. “I mean, bad. And ass. Totally lame.”

“What about you, Vidia?” Lilith offered. “Show Jacob your new abilities.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” the gothic succubus sighed, “I can just make people feel painful sensations anywhere in their body.”

“Uhhhhh, that’s kinda a big deal,” I laughed. “You could make somebody think they were having a heart attack or a stroke or something. Fuck, or you could just distract people for long enough to incapacitate them. You’re definitely on this strike team.”

The dark-haired succubus gasped and then seemed to recoil into herself.

“You--You want me to go on a mission?” she asked with wide eyes. “With, like, people and stuff?”

“That’s kinda how it works, Elvira,” Todd reminded her.

“I don’t know,” Invidia sighed and looked down, “my social battery is pretty drained at the moment.”

I walked over to the succubus, placed my hand on her shoulder tenderly, and then gave her the warmest smile I could muster.

“For me?” I asked. “It would mean the world to me if you could come along.”

Invidia looked up at me with her purple, eyeliner-covered eyes and smiled.

“Okay,” she sighed, “I guess I’ll come along. But just for you. My dark heart sings a song when you ask for my help.”

“Awww.” I smiled wider at my beautiful dark succubus.

“What about the rest of your team?” Lilith asked. “I only count five so far. Do you think that’ll be enough?”

“Not at all,” I answered. “I need at least two more … ”

I thought about it for a second. Any of these women would be useful, but I needed to tailor my team for stealth and their ability to crowd control. Finally, after a minute or two of deliberation, I had made my decision.

“Inpulsa,” I announced, “and Deja. I want both of you on the strike team, too.”

Both of the succubi could take out large groups of enemies quite effortlessly, so adding them to the team was a no-brainer.

“Sweeeeeet!” Deja fist-pumped, and then she turned to Inpulsa for a high five.

Inpulsa looked at her Sister, rolled her eyes, and then obliged.

“All the rest of you, I want you to work closely with Cupiditas,” I announced. “Train like you’ve never trained before. Because in a few days, we’re going to be on Beelzebub’s doorstep, and I’m going to need you to give me everything you’ve got.”

“Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, my love,” Libidine warned with a concerned look. “The Shadow World still awaits. If for some reason it is unsafe, or if something were to happen while you were in there … ”

“It won’t,” I reassured her. “The Shadow People might be dangerous, but they can bleed just like me and you.”

“And if it bleeds,” Todd explained in his Governator voice, “we can kill it.”

“Exactly,” I noted, “anything we encounter in the Shadow World that wants to kill us will fall, just like all the other demon bastards who’ve tried before.”

“That’s our King!” Superbia declared with a grin.

“All hail King Ralston!” Lilith added.

The succubi cheered at my words, but I wasn’t as confident as I let on. Yeah, we could kill these things and yes, we were stronger now than we’d ever been in the past, but I honestly wasn’t sure what we were going to encounter in the Shadow World. Maybe there were just those creatures I’d seen before, or maybe there were lots more beings that were ten times worse.

There was only one way to find out, though.

“So,” I looked to my strike team, “are we ready to go?”

“Fuck no, bro,” Todd retorted with a snort, “but has that ever stopped us before?”

I looked around at the rest of my friends as I motioned for the strike team to get into position. Then I thought about what could possibly go wrong once we were in the Shadow World.

With those thoughts on my mind, it didn’t take much effort to conjure up my fear magic. Black Hellfire arose from my palms and then slowly crawled up my arms.

“Everybody take my hand,” I commanded as I stuck out my arms.

Every member of the strike team grabbed on, and then my magic spread onto their bodies like wildfire.

The next thing I knew, we were floating weightlessly through space and time until finally, we landed unceremoniously onto the sandy ground of the coliseum.

But it wasn’t the coliseum. Or at least, it wasn’t our coliseum.

“Holy shit,” Deja gasped as she looked around the desolate landscape.

“I second that,” Todd shivered, “this is some David Lynch shit, bro.”

The air around us was silent, save for the staticky white noise. We could still see the rest of our friends, still lined up in the broken circle that we had left them in, but they most certainly couldn’t see us. Their bodies were frozen in time and distorted nearly beyond recognition. Meanwhile, the columns of the coliseum stood lopsided, with half of them the height of my own body, and the others as large as a skyscraper.

I turned back to my friends and gave them a somber nod.

“Welcome to the Shadow World, guys.”

Chapter 5

“Not gonna lie,” Invidia mused as she looked at the horrific environment around us, “I kinda dig this place. I appreciate the aesthetic.”

“Of course you do,” Todd snickered. “A place of unspeakable horrors, populated by no other human beings? Throw in some Hot Topics and screamo, and it’d be every goth girl’s wet dream.”

“It’s a bit too ‘Dali’ for me,” Ira sighed, “where’s the whips and chains? The screams of never-ending torture? The rivers of blood? I’d take Hell over this place any day … ”

“Can they see us?” Deja asked as she waved her hand in front of Cupi’s frozen face.

“Nope,” I sighed, “at least, I don’t think so.”

“Not gonna lie,” Eclipse spoke up, “I’m trying my best not to laugh.”

“You think this is funny?” Deja gasped.

“Sure it is.” Eclipse grinned. “All of our friends look like they’ve been stretched out like a cartoon character. It’s kinda ridiculous.”

“Trust me,” I warned, “there’s nothing ridiculous about this place.”

“Hold on, bro,” Todd questioned as he rubbed his goatee, “do you think time stands still in this place? Like, if we’re in here for, say, two weeks, do you think we’ll come back, and it’ll have been two years or some shit like that? I really don’t wanna get Interstellar-ed, bro.”

“I honestly don’t know,” I noted as I looked around nervously, “both times I’ve been here, we didn’t really check the time or anything.”

“Or maybe it’s like Inception … ” Todd mumbled. “Shit, what’s your totem, bro? Wait! Don’t tell me. If we start showing each other our totems, it’ll get us all fucked up in the head.”

“Man, if this place slows down time, I may totally want to stay,” Tris joked, “I could put off my duties for days, and it wouldn’t hurt anybody!”

“That’s the spirit, Slothy!” Todd exclaimed.

“I feel like you guys aren’t as afraid of this place as you should be,” I sighed.

“‘Fear’ isn’t in my vocabulary,” Inpulsa mused as a bit of electricity crackled in her hands, “especially when we’re dealing with a bunch of creatures who thrive in the darkness.”

Todd just shrugged. “Eh, it looks like any other place in Hell to me. Are you forgetting we saw human beings strung up like Christmas lights with their own bowels?”

“That was fucked up,” I admitted, “but this place is … a different kind of fucked up. Like you said, it’s a whole ‘Cronenberg vs. Lynch’ situation.”

“Both of those directors are fan-fucking-tastic, bro,” Todd giggled. “I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is we could be swarmed by Shadow People at any second,” Inpulsa retorted. “I don’t know about you, but I’d very much like to come out of this mission alive.”

“Speaking of the mission,” Tris interjected, “what exactly is our goal here? Because I totally don’t want to make it any longer or any more difficult than possible.”

“It’s mostly just an exploration mission,” I explained, “we need to figure out what kind of obstacles we’ll be dealing with, especially if we want to try and bring an entire army through here.”

“I can’t wait to meet the Shadow People,” Invidia said through a stifled giggle, “I’m sure they’re just as twisted and charming as the rest of this place.”

“I really shoulda stuck with ‘Winona’ as her nickname, bro,” Todd observed as he watched Vidia look around in awe, “she’d totally be at home in a Tim Burton movie.”

“Can we interact with them?” Deja questioned, but she was still focused on our frozen friends. “Like, if I were to touch Libidine’s nose, would she get an itch in our world?”

“Or if I kicked one of them as hard as I could between the legs, would they get a shot of intense pleasure?” Ira suggested.

“I’m honestly not sure how that works,” I shook my head, “I’d imagine there has to be some crossover, considering those Shadow People get out into Earth Realm every now and again. And please don’t kick anybody between the legs, Ira. It’s not as pleasurable as you make it sound.”

“You must be doing it wrong, then,” the Sister of Wrath said as she stuck out her tongue.

“Ohhhhh,” Todd snickered as he ran over to the area in front of all of our frozen friends, “I’m totally gonna make a dick print in the sand and then sign my name, bro. They would totally notice that on the other side.”

“Maybe don’t use your dick?” I said with a raised finger, but it was too late.

All of us turned away as the imp reached down toward his crotch. I heard a sandy ‘plop’ against the ground, followed by the sound of his claws scritching away at the dirt.

“There,” the imp clapped his hands together as he walked back over to us, “message sent. I just hope it’s not like the rest of my dick pics, where the text is all fucky.”

“What do you mean, the text is all fucky?” Deja questioned.

“It’s weird, Clockblocker,” the imp began, “every time I send a dick pic to a babe, all I get back is the little ‘seen’ notification. What’s even weirder, though? Sometimes, I’ll get a message back saying ‘this user has blocked your number.’ Must be a glitch in the cell service or something like that.”

“Uh, sure,” Deja rolled her eyes, “that’s definitely what’s happening.”

“It totally is,” the imp didn’t take the hint, “but every time I call my provider about it, they threaten to kick me off my plan. Maybe the size of my schlong is just too large to put in an attachment, and it’s fucking with their speeds … ”

“Enough about the dick pics,” I sighed. “As much as I hate to say it, we need to go exploring. Just remember to keep moving. I’m shocked we haven’t already been swarmed by Shadow People.”

I gave my team the signal to follow, and I unsheathed the Unhallowed Sword. Then I took a deep breath, tightened my grip around the weapon, and headed toward the exit of the building. We passed the distorted columns and then had to scrunch down to fit through the doorway, which now stood at an intense diagonal angle.

“Bro, forget Lynch,” Todd observed as we stepped out into the landscape of the mirror Fourth Circle, “I feel like this whole place was designed by Tim Burton.”

He wasn’t wrong.

The normally flat land between the coliseum and my castle was jagged, with miniature hills that stretched up to pointed tips and were aimed in all directions.

All the way off in the distance stood my brimstone castle, but the giant tower Todd had converted to make a “T” shape was nearly unrecognizable. Each side of the letter’s wings were pulled in a different direction, both up and down, and the tower itself looked like it was a glitch in a video game.

Meanwhile, the outer perimeter of the castle walls stood with giant gaps. It was hard to tell from this distance, but the space between the walls looked like they were wide enough to fit a cargo ship through.

Yet, there were still no Shadow People.

“You sure you weren’t just imagining all those Shadow People, Jakey?” Todd questioned. “All I’m seeing in this place is twisty turny architecture, bro.”

“There’s something here,” Invidia shuddered, “trust me. I spend ninety percent of my time alone and I, like, have grown a sixth sense for the feeling. We’re not alone.”

That’s what I was afraid of.

“Keep your eyes peeled, people,” I warned. “We’re about to head out into an open field.”

“Mmmmm,” Ira giggled, “peeled eyes. Now that’s something I haven’t tried in centuries.”

“Wait, we’re not going to the castle?” Tris asked with a dejected pout. “I totally wanted to see what kinda shows are on the magic mirror here in the Shadow World.”

“I’m just wondering if we’re gonna run into all the people that Yugi banished here, bro,” Todd added. “I totally wanna meet Pegasus and Kaiba and all those jabronis, just so I can kick ‘em in the ass and tell them what little bitches they are.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s just a TV show, bro,” I reminded the imp, “also, this is the Shadow World, not the Shadow Realm.”

Todd’s brow furrowed as a frown spread across his face. Then he shook his head vigorously.

“I totally knew that,” he chuckled, “I was just testing you. Only a total idiot would think that show was real. Like a complete fucking moron. But I’m proud to announce you’ve passed the test, Jakey!”

“Thanks,” I rolled my eyes at the imp, “but to answer your question, Tris … we already know what we’re going to find in the castle. Also, I really, reaaallly don’t want to go into any confined spaces. That’s an ambush waiting to happen.”

“Eh,” Inpulsa shrugged, “bring ‘em on. I’ll fry ‘em all to a crisp with my new powers.”

“If they even work on Shadow People,” I reminded the yellow-haired beauty, “none of us really know the rules of this place.”

“Ugh, the rules,” Todd sighed dramatically, “I hear the dudes who make Stranger Things have a whole fucking book about how their ‘Shadow World’ works. A whole fucking book. I’m really hoping this place isn’t the same, bro.”

“Me either,” I admitted as I started to head west, “I’m still not one-hundred percent sure what all the rules of Hell are, either. I don’t need another giant set of laws and codes and rules to learn.”

“Hell really doesn’t have that many rules,” Deja explained, “mainly, don’t piss of Lucifer, and obey whoever your superiors are. That’s about it.”

“It’s a total drag,” Invidia added. “That is, until we were conquered by King Ralston.”

“Please,” I chuckled, “I didn’t ‘conquer’ any of you. You all know you’re free to leave whenever you’d like.”

“Oh, I’d say you ‘conquered’ us, alright,” Eclipse purred as she placed her hand against the back of my armor. “What else would you call that wonderful ceremony we all shared?”

“Vidia and I obviously weren’t at your ceremony,” Tris noted, “but ours involved so much domination I think even you were weirded out, weren’t you, Ira?”

“Are you kidding me?” the Sister of Wrath cooed. “I was the one doing most of the coordination. It’s a lot harder to arrange an orgy than it looks, you know. I had to keep track of which hole Jacob filled.”

“Sounds like our old DnD sessions,” Todd snickered, “only with a lot less fucking.”

“Our ceremony was very much like that,” Inpulsa smiled as she fondly reminisced, “Jacob’s monster hog, filling each and every one of us with his seed … It was by far the greatest day of my life.”

“I second that,” Eclipse purred. “I wish we could go back and do it all over again.”

“We’ll see,” I reminded her with a wink, “I promise there’s plenty more where that came from.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Todd gagged heartily. “Please stop talking about my best bro’s love juice. Whatever happened within your little orgies is between you guys and the Exalted One. And the maid, because there’s no way in hell those stains are coming out of the carpet.”

“It wasn’t an orgy!” Deja protested. “We’re much classier than that.”

“Exactly,” Eclipse added, “it was a sacred ceremony that just so happened to involve sex.”

“Lots and looooots of sex,” Invidia sighed happily.

“For hours on end,” Ira cooed.

“And the best part?” Tris finished it off. “I barely had to do anything but lay there!”

As much as I wanted to reminisce about the two ceremonies, I couldn’t help but wonder where all the monsters were. Lilith had said this place contained all of the creatures my father and the Exalted One couldn’t control.

Yet, we seemed to be alone. Uneasy, with a feeling like we were being watched, but still alone.

“Jacob?” Inpulsa’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “You alright? Because I don’t think Todd is.”

I looked over and saw the imp was doubled over and rolfing up everything he’d eaten for breakfast this morning. Once he was done, he wiped the vomit from his lips with the back of his hand and then slunk back over to us.

“I’m sorry, bro,” he sighed, “you know how I get when you guys talk about your--”

The imp stopped mid-sentence to hold back more bile. His cheeks widened, now filled with the disgusting liquid, but he simply held up his finger and silently told me to wait.

“Oh, no, Todd … ” I started, but it was too late.

I watched in disgust as Todd swallowed the vomit back down with a large gulp, shuddered, and then belched.

“Sorry about that, Jakey,” he shrugged, “now, what were we talking about?”

“How you’re never going to do that again,” Eclipse warned as her face twisted in a look of revulsion.

“What’s wrong, Lizbeth?” he giggled. “I thought you succubi liked to swallow?”

All of us groaned at the terrible joke as Todd made a snare drum sound with his mouth.

“I’m here ‘till Thursday,” he added in a Rodney Dangerfield voice. “Did I ever tell you the one about--”

Suddenly, the air around us was filled with a loud, inhuman roar. The ground shook violently underneath our feet, and there was now a foul stench in the air. The stench reminded me of a mixture between black tar, sulfur, and ammonia, and I nearly lost my lunch as it wafted through my nostrils.

“What was that?” Deja gasped.

“Whatever it is,” Ira cackled, “it sounds fun!”

Then we saw it.

Over the horizon lumbered a massive quadruped. This thing looked like it belonged in the Shadow World. It was still hundreds of feet away from us, but it still appeared to be at least fifteen feet tall and almost equally as wide.

It had large, slanted red eyes that sat just above gnashing white fangs, and its entire body was as dark as a midnight shadow. Like the other creatures of this world, the edges of its body were nebulous, almost as if it had no natural form whatsoever.

However, if it was anything like the other things in this place, it wasn’t as translucent as it appeared.

“Well, that explains where all of your Shadow People are,” Inpulsa explained sarcastically, “probably all gobbled up by that thing.”

“Or they’re in hiding,” Invidia added as she summoned forth her double-sided dagger. “Maybe they’re like, afraid of this guy or something. I think he’s kinda cute.”

“Cute or not, I’m about to pump him full of lead,” Tris noted as she whipped out her dual Tommy guns. “Harold and Kumar are gonna eat well tonight, boys.”

“Her one-liners are getting soooo much better, bro,” Todd whispered.

I summoned red Hellfire into my hands, but the spell was much weaker than normal. When I tried to enchant the Unhallowed Sword, the blade glowed much more dimly than usual.

Well, shit.

Lilith warned us our powers would be weaker here, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.

Luckily, there was still one power set that was in perfect condition.

“Deja?” I questioned as I dug in my feet and prepared for battle. “How confident are you in your long-distance ability?”

“Normally, I’d say ‘not very,’” the tan woman mused, “but that thing is bigger than the broad side of a barn, so I know I can hit it from here.”

The succubus called forth her spiked chain, enchanted it with her black Hellfire, and picked it up into the air.

Here in the Shadow World, her dark magic was amplified, and the black flames roared off the weapon as if it were an inky inferno.

Deja’s tongue stuck out of her mouth as she closed one eye and tried to get a good shot at the creature. Then she popped her tongue in her mouth, made a finger gun with her left hand, and pretended to pull the trigger. As she did so, her spear shot through the air with the speed of a bullet train and headed directly for the shadow creature.

The monster was about three hundred feet away from us now, and we were all preparing for the worst.

Deja’s weapon struck the thing in the left shoulder, pierced it all the way through, and then wrapped back around itself to form a sort of makeshift ring. Then the Cali-succubus yanked her glowing arms to the left, and her chain followed suit.

The creature let out a loud growl as it was pulled off-balance and thrown to the ground, where it rolled across the rocky landscape violently.

It was pretty obvious this thing was nothing more than a mindless beast. This should be a simple fight.

Or, at least, that’s what I hoped it would be.

“Todd, Tris!” I called out. “Fire at will, directly in front of you.”

“Okie dokie, bro!” the imp responded, and then he unleashed a series of red fireballs from his palms.

The flaming projectiles were smaller and less defined than the ones he could conjure on Earth Realm, but they still seemed to get the job done.

At the same time, Tris began to blast at the air with her Tommy guns.

Then I tried to summon up a portal of emerald flames. Nothing. My hand flickered with dark green sparks when I tried again, but it was no use.

My telekinetic magic didn’t seem to be working in this place.

“Green fire’s off the table, guys!” I announced through a growl. “But everything else seems to be working fine.”

“Our dark magic should be amplified!” Ira added as she summoned black Hellfire into her hands. “That should at least even the odds a little.”

The Shadow Monster finally stopped rolling, pulled himself back to his feet, and then reached up to grab his wounded shoulder. His dark hand grasped Deja’s chain, and he pulled it loose from his body with a hearty yank.

Even though Deja was trying to hold the line from afar, the beast was too strong. When he pulled her chain, it took her with it. The brunette was tossed violently to the ground, and she let out a grunt of pain as she landed. She released her spell on the Shadow Monster, who then nonchalantly tossed her chain to the side.

He turned around to face us as he let out an Earth-shaking roar of anger. Then the monster began to charge.

“Fuck!” I growled as I turned back toward the creature. “New plan. Light this bastard up with everything we’ve got! And Ira? See if you can shut him up. He’s gonna have every Shadow Person in this whole place on us if he keeps roaring like that.”

The darkness of the Shadow World was filled with flashes of red, yellow, and black as we launched everything we had at the fucker. However, this thing was way more agile than he looked.

The creature hopped, slid, and rolled out of the way of all of our attacks, and then he was upon us. Without missing a stride, he raised up a massive paw to take a swipe.

“Not so fast, Zuul!” Todd exclaimed as he threw out a couple balls of black flame.

We all averted our eyes as they exploded in midair, and the creature shrieked as it was temporarily blinded.

At the same time, Ira summoned her bat-like wings, leapt into the air, and flew up until she was level with the creature’s mouth. Then she called forth black Hellfire into her hands, clapped them together, and shot a massive blast of the spell directly into the Shadow Creature’s face.

The second she did so, her dark magic spread across the monster’s jaw like wildfire. The black flames wrapped around the back of his head as the ones in the front slid into his mouth and formed a giant red ball. Finally, Ira had finished her spell.

The creature was gagged.

“Now’s our chance!” I called out. “Tris and Deja, hold him in place!”

Tris holstered her Tommy guns and then summoned black Hellfire into her hands. She tossed down two massive blasts of the spell at the creature’s front two feet, and they transformed into makeshift sticky traps.

At the same time, Deja tried to surround herself with green flames and divide into two forms. However, just like mine before, all she got was sparks.

“Shit!” she gasped, and then she tossed her chain around the monster’s back leg.

The beast roared as he tried to escape the three traps, but he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sheesh,” Eclipse chuckled as she dashed over to the monster’s free leg, “you guys and your performance issues … ”

The tattooed succubus summoned black Hellfire into her hands and then tossed out a black hole directly under the Shadow Monster’s final leg.

He let out a yelp of surprise as his foot disappeared into the abyss, and his body fell awkwardly to the side.

This was our chance.

Inpulsa had yellow Hellfire in one hand and black in the other. Without missing a beat, she clapped them together and launched a giant beam of dark electricity directly into the creature’s stomach.

It howled with pain at the attack, but it didn’t seem to be doing much damage.

“You wanna be a farmer?” Tris taunted as she raised her guns. “Because here’s a couple of acres!”

The Sister of Sloth unloaded into the creature’s underside, and he was quickly filled with dozens of tiny, bullet-sized holes. Dark black blood poured out of his wounds, but he was still alive and kicking.

That’s when he decided he’d had enough.

With one quick heave, the monster pulled himself loose from Tris’ traps. However, Eclipse was too fast for the bastard.

The tattooed beauty clapped her glowing black hands together, and the portal closed around the creature’s back leg.

He shrieked horrifically as his appendage was severed at the knee, and his tarry, black blood splashed out across the landscape like a runaway fire hose. The creature leaped up into the air above us, and his blood rained down onto our position like a waterfall.

The Shadow Monster’s gore covered us all with its warm, sticky consistency as the creature itself hobbled away.

“Uh, Jakey?” Todd gasped. “I can’t move, bro.”

I tried to turn and face the imp, but I was in the same predicament. My arms were pinned down to my side, and my legs were stuck to the ground as if the monster’s blood was super glue. The substance was as thick as a heavy blanket, and I couldn’t move any of my appendages save for the inch or two of resistance I had.

I couldn’t see the rest of my team, but they apparently were caught in the monster’s gore, too.

“I can’t move either!” Invidia gasped.

“Fucking helllll,” Inpulsa growled.

“Ohhhhhh,” Ira giggled. “What’s he gonna do to us now?”

This thing’s blood must have had the same sort of enchantment as Tris’ black Hellfire, because we were all stuck in place.

Even worse, the creature was coming back around.

“Jakey?” Todd shrieked as the beast approached. “You got a plan B?”

I closed my eyes and thought about everything that was at stake here. If I did nothing, my friends and I were going to be mauled to death by an oversized shadow puppy.

Or worse.

As I thought about the horrors of this possibility, I felt my defensive powers growing stronger. My hand glowed with purple Hellfire, and then I commanded my spell to create a barrier over our position.

Todd let out a girlish scream, but then there was the sound of a loud thud.

“Jesus shit, Jakey!” the imp panted. “Talk about waiting till the last minute!”

“We’re not out of this yet,” I growled as I tried to think up a plan.

This barrier wasn’t going to last very long, especially in its weakened Shadow World state. I needed a way out of this sticky prison, and I needed it fast.

“I’m trying to toss black holes at this thing,” Eclipse explained from behind me, “but I can’t aim for shit when my arms are trapped like this.”

“Can’t we just burn this shit off?” Inpulsa questioned aloud.

“Already tried,” Tris sighed, “it doesn’t work.”

“I’m trying to heal it off with my gold flames, but that’s not working,” Ira sighed.

“What about your bronze flames, Jacob?” Invidia asked. “Can you shake this shit off?”

“I’ll give it a shot,” I growled as I tried to pull myself loose from the sticky prison.

I called forth my bronze Hellfire and then unleashed it as hard as I could. My arms were still pinned down at my side, so the attack blasted into the ground beneath me at nearly point-blank range.

There was a loud thud behind my position, but other than that, all the spell did was shake me violently and give me a headache.

“You knocked him down!” Eclipse informed me. “But he’s getting back up, and he looks pissed off!”

Then it hit me.

My Divine Light.

It was super risky. The second I unleashed the massive blast of light, every single creature within a hundred-mile radius would know where we were.

But I didn’t really have any other choice.

So, I closed my eyes and attempted to concentrate. Images of my friends and family flitted through my mind, and I thought about all of my succubi … Todd, my best friend … my parents … all of my Divine allies … none of this would be possible without them. They gave me strength, and they were about to give me some more right now.

I felt my body surge with Divine magic, and then I opened up my eyes to see my entire figure was glowing. I opened up my hands as widely as I could, and a shockwave of blinding white light erupted from my very core.

When the light finally settled, I saw the tarry substance had been evaporated from me and all of my friends.

“Holy shit, bro,” Todd whistled, “we should just go ahead and rename that attack the ‘Deus Ex Machina.’”

“Jacob … ” Inpulsa gasped, “you … you just used your Divine powers here.”

“I know what I did,” I reassured her as I turned around to face the beast, “I just saved all of my friends. Now … we’ve got a creature to kill.”

The beast had been knocked down by my shockwave, and it appeared he was weakening by the second. He wobbled as he stood up, and massive amounts of tarry blood continued to pour from his amputated leg. Then he began to hobble forward, but I was ready for the fucker.

I held the Unhallowed Sword in my hand tightly as I charged forward, ready for the kill. Blasts of electricity, black holes, fireballs, acid, and bullets shot past me as I ran, and each one struck the beast and brought him back down to his knees.

Once I got close enough, I created a series of platforms using my purple Hellfire. One-by-one, I ascended the makeshift stairs until I was about three feet above the fucker’s head. Then I leapt off the final platform, raised the Unhallowed Sword into the air, and brought it down right between the Shadow Monster’s eyes.

It let out a muffled roar of pain as my blade pierced its skull, and then I used my own weight to pull the sword all the way down the front of the creature’s face. There was a sickly crunch as the sword split open its skull, and the tarry black blood splattered all over my body. Finally, I felt my feet hit the ground along with the monster’s head, and all went silent.

Through the disgusting black substance, I could see the Shadow Monster was now laying in front of me, with its head split completely open, and its brain was on full display.

I closed my eyes again and thought of my friends and family. Once more, the tingling sensation spread throughout my body, and my figure began to glow like an angel. Then I unleashed the Divine Light into the Shadow Monster’s face at point-blank range, and he didn’t even make a sound as his brain was fried to a burnt crisp along with the viscous fluid on my body. Finally, when I released my spell, there was nothing left of the bastard but a husk of a body.

The Shadow Monster was dead.

“Holy fuck,” I sighed as I stumbled back over to the rest of the group, “I never realized just how much we rely on our green Hellfire abilities until they decided to not fucking work.”

“Are you alright, Jacob?” Invidia asked as she placed her hand against my face. “You just used two God Bombs back to back.”

“No, no, Elvira,” Todd clarified, “those weren’t God Bombs. Way too small. Not enough charging time. Those were just miniature versions, or what I like to call ‘Prophet Blasts.’”

“We’re not calling them that,” I panted and shook my head.

“Oh, come on, Jakey,” the imp sighed, “it makes perfect sense. They’re not the full-on ‘God,’ but rather tiny representations of it. Aka the Prophets.”

“I just want to know if there are any more of these things,” Inpulsa interjected as she surveyed the landscape. “Was that a Shadow Person?”

“No, no,” I explained, “Shadow People are a lot smaller, and they take the form of a human person.”

“They sound like fun.” Vidia smiled sarcastically.

“Oh, so like that thing over there?” Deja warned.

My heart sank into my stomach at the succubus’ words, and I whipped around to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, off in the distance stood a tall, shadowy figure.

“Only one?” Tris asked as she cocked her gun. “That should be easy.”

“Something’s not right,” I said as I squinted off into the distance, “why is it standing so far away? Most of the time, they aren’t visible until--”

Oh, fuck.

I grabbed my sword, spun around, and gasped.

Behind us, no more than fifty feet away, were dozens and dozens of Shadow People.

“Welcome back, Jacob Ralston,” one of the eerie male voices announced, “we were hoping we’d see you again.”

I went to lash out with my sword, but the fuckers were on us before I could land a blow.

The Shadow People scooped me up in their arms and held me tight. I tried to fire off a few blasts of red Hellfire, but my aim was horrendously off, and my fireballs just launched out into the sky. I wanted to use another blast of Divine Light, but there was no way I could muster up the energy to do three in a span of ten minutes.

“Hands off the merchandise, ya nobodied freaks!” Todd warned.

“Put us down!” Eclipse demanded.

Wait … they weren’t tearing us limb from limb. In fact, the Shadow People weren’t even trying to hurt us.

“What the fuck is going on?” I growled. “What do you bastards want with us?”

One of the shadowy shapes appeared above my head and stared into my eyes with its bright red peepers.

“You will see in time,” a disembodied female voice explained. “We have big plans for you and your friends, spawn of Lucifer.”

Chapter 6

The Shadow People may have had my entire team in their grasp, but I wasn’t going to let us go out this way. I’d seen first hand that these bastards could be damaged by someone from Earth Realm, and I planned on putting them all in a world of hurt.

Sure, there were way more of them than there were of us, but I wasn’t gonna go down without a fight.

“Ohhhhhh!” Ira groaned orgasmically. “Pull tighter! You call this a stretcher?”

One of the Shadow People was still staring down at me with her crimson, glowing eyes, but she wasn’t saying a single word.

She’d be the first one to feel my wrath.

I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands and created two large, horizontal platforms just above the Shadow People on each side of my body. Then I commanded them to slam straight down into the ground.

Straight down on top of the Shadow People.

Each one let out a horrible hiss as their bodies were crushed beneath the violet shields. However, much to my surprise, they didn’t crumple up into a bloody heap like all the other opponents I’d faced.

Instead, the Shadow People’s bodies disappeared into a puff of black mist.

I honestly didn’t even know if they were dead or not, but I didn’t have time to care. I was free of their grasp, and I only had seconds before they were on me again.

So, I drew the Unhallowed Sword with one hand and my goat-headed dagger with the other and then lashed out at the female Shadow Person who had been taunting me.

But she zipped backward, out of the path of my blow, and then stared at me silently.

I tried to do a double attack on the creature by swinging my sword at her neck while I stabbed at her with my dagger, but it was no use. My opponent dodged to the side as silent as a ghost and then continued to stare me down.

“We were not prepared for your aggression the first time, spawn of Lucifer,” it whispered, “why do you harm us like so?”

“Why do I ‘harm you?’” I scoffed and readied to attack again. “You guys are literally trying to take us captive!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the dark mist reconfigure itself until it was once again the group of Shadow People I’d crushed before. My heartbeat was as loud as a bass drum as they began to float in my direction, but then the female Shadow Person stopped them with a raise of her arm.

“We are just preserving our kind,” the specter explained, “in our experience, you tend to kill first and ask questions later. When there are only a few hundred of my kin left, we can’t take any chances.”

“You really think I’m going to believe that?” I growled. “You’re Shadow People, creatures even my father himself didn’t want to put up with.”

“Shadow People?” the shadowy figure hissed. “Such a derogatory term. Maybe I should tell them to kill you, but that would be a poor decision. We need you, son of Lucifer.”

“Don’t listen to her, Jakey!” Todd’s voice called out from the crowd. “Turn her smoky dark ass into coal! Tell her to take her weird-ass long arms and shove ‘em up her--”

Todd’s voice was suddenly muffled, but he continued to try and speak.

“You have one minute to explain yourself,” I warned the Shadow Person.

As much as I wanted to just jump right over and sever this creature’s head from its spine, I wasn’t exactly in the best position to be making demands. These bastards had the rest of the strike team in their mitts, and even if I were to kill this woman, I’d be overrun in seconds.

The best option was to hear her out.

“It will not even take that,” the Shadow Person explained. “You are not our enemy, Jacob Ralston. In fact, you are the opposite … You are our savior.”

“Savior?” I mused as I quirked my eyebrow in disbelief. “If this is how you treat your savior, I’d hate to see how you treat your enemies.”

“Believe it, or don’t,” the eerie voice continued, “but you fit the description perfectly. The Nephilim of Lucifer and a human, one who would conquer the Circles of Hell, master the sacred powers of our realm, and then lead us to freedom.”

“Okay, I’ll admit,” I heard a struggling Inpulsa mutter from somewhere in the crowd, “that does sound a lot like you.”

“What do you mean ‘lead you to freedom?’” I questioned. “Look, whoever you are … I’m willing to hear you out, but not while you’re turning my friends into living Stretch Armstrong dolls.”

“Give me your word they won’t attack,” the figure retorted. “Give me your word, and I will release them.”

“Fine,” I said with a nod, and then I slowly sheathed my two weapons and held up my hands to show I was unarmed. “Now please…”

Without a single word, the Shadow Person in front of me raised the silhouette of her arm, formed her fingers into an “L” shape, and then quickly lowered it back to her side. The second she did so, the Shadow People around us dispersed. They released my friends and then moved back to create a massive circle around our entire group.

“Awww,” Ira sighed as she brushed off her shoulders, “they were just getting good at it, too.”

Meanwhile, Todd was making exaggerated sounds with his tongue as he tried to get the taste of Shadow Person out of his mouth.

“Damn, bro,” he said through his spittle, “you remember the taste of Fruit Stripe gum after it lost all its flavor? Because that’s what I’m tasting right now. That, plus salty sweat and some sort of … worcestershire?”

“Eww,” Deja shuddered, “that’s totally foul.”

“I think I’d actually like it if it tasted like fowl, Clockblocker,” Todd giggled, “this is more ‘old leathery glove.’”

“What is going on?” Eclipse demanded, “Why are we still alive?”

“Alright, we’re not fighting anymore,” I reminded the Shadow Person, “now, why do you think I’m your savior? And who the fuck even are you people? Because if you don’t want us to call you ‘Shadow People,’ you should probably give us something else to work with.”

“My name is Zilla,” the shadowy figure explained, “I am--was, the Queen of the Caliginis People.”

“Let me guess,” I chuckled as I felt my fear begin to subside, “the ‘was’ part is why you need to be freed.”

“You’re a fast learner,” Zilla noted, “much quicker than any of the others.”

“Others?” I gasped. “I thought I was the first Nephilim to travel to this place.”

“Not quite,” the Shadow Person continued. “Other Nephilim have come into this place, but none of them quite matched up with what was told in the Book of Bezaleel. Some of them were the Nephilim of other demon lords, while the rare few who claimed to be the sons of Lucifer didn’t have any Circles to their name.”

I was so confused. This was a lot of information coming at me all at once, and it was a lot to process.

I knew there were other sons of Lucifer, but the Divine had told me they were all slain by my father before they could become a threat. Then there was this whole “Book of Bezaleel.” Was there another sacred text I wasn’t aware of? One that could potentially throw a wrench in my plans?

“I’m sorry,” I sighed, “but you’ve still got a lot more explaining to do.”

“Yeah, Godzilla,” Todd added, “we need some exposition, ASAP!”

“Ugh, another long, boring story,” Tris sighed, “wake me up when it’s over.”

Invidia slapped her sister on the shoulder and scoffed.

“Let her talk,” the Sister of Envy grumbled. “I’m sure she’s got lots of excellent stories of this dark, depressing world.”

“And exposition, I shall,” she explained as her vague form flickered in front of us, “but it’s not safe here. Surely the commotion of our battle has attracted the attention of more of those Rapha Beasts. If we remain in the outskirts of the Shadow World for much longer, they will find us. You thought one was difficult to kill? Try a whole herd.”

“Fine,” I conceded cautiously, “we’ll go wherever you need us to go. But you’re gonna have to explain on the way.”

“Yes,” Invidia fan-girled, “please tell us everything about this dark and depressing place.”

“Of course,” Zilla nodded her formless head, “I shall explain everything on the way to Umbra.”

“Umbra is a real place?” Invidia gasped as she bounced up and down. “My sisters always told me it was just a myth!”

I couldn’t help but be amused at Vidia’s sudden bout of enthusiasm, and neither could the rest of the group.

“Easy there, Elvira,” Todd chuckled, “I know getting excited doesn’t happen too often for you, so don’t overdo it. You don’t wanna blow out a tit or something.”

“That’s not a real thing.” Inpulsa rolled her eyes.

“It’s totally a real thing, Pikachu!” the imp warned. “Where do you think the expression ‘Calm Your Tits’ comes from? When babes with super big boobs get excited, they can have a blowout.”

“That’s … that’s wrong on like, so many levels.” Deja facepalmed.

“Does it hurt?” Ira asked hopefully. “And if it does, is it more of a ‘melted wax’ sort of sting, or is it a full-on ‘cut to the bone’ sort of throbbing? Either way, I want to learn how to do it.”

“It’s not a real thing!” Deja groaned as she rubbed her temples. “Sister Vidia is just really excited about going to this place, probably because it’s like, all dark and gloomy or something.”

“Dark and gloomy doesn’t even come close to describing the incredibleness that is Umbra,” Invidia sighed as she placed her hands together in front of her chest and looked off into the distance longingly. “The City of Shadows is the darkest, most depressing, most isolated place in the universe. I’ve heard you can’t even get into it unless you have an escort.”

“Sounds like a lovely place,” Eclipse rolled her eyes.

“What your teammate says is true,” Zilla noted. “Only us Caliginis can enter, using the powers we are given from this Realm. But, Jacob Ralston, you appear to possess the same power … ”

Before I could say anything else, Zilla turned away and began to drift across the ground toward the rest of her brethren. Then the circle of Shadow People around us turned into a single-file line, and they began to march off after their leader.

“What the fuck is happening?” I pondered aloud as we all began to follow after the Shadow People. “Whatever I thought was gonna go down in the Shadow World, it definitely wasn’t this.”

“Yeah, bro,” Todd admitted, “I totally thought the Shadow Queen was gonna be some sexy goth girl with big boobs and leather and shit like that.”

“I wish,” I chuckled.

“Excuse me?” Invidia mused, “Isn’t that supposed to be my role?”

“I thought it was mine,” Eclipse admitted.

“You all fill a different role,” Todd giggled, “one’s emo and one’s punk. Jakey doesn’t mind, I’m sure.”

“Oh, well,” Ira purred, “I guess that just means one less woman to share Jacob with.”

“Hallelujah,” Tris added, “do you know how hard it is to please multiple people at the same time? Like, really hard. Reaaaaalllly hard. I mean, don’t get me wrong … it’s totally worth it. But it takes a lot outta you, ya know?”

“I don’t think you’re outta the woods yet.” Todd shrugged. “I know how our adventures go. When it comes to Jakey, if its got a vag, it’s in the bag.”

“That’s not true,” I protested.

“Bro.” Todd shot me a look of bemusement. “Name one new babe you’ve met in the last three years whose clam you didn’t jam.”

I thought it over for a second but then quickly realized the imp had a point. However, the thought of sleeping with a nebulous shadow creature was laughable.

“Bro, I don’t think she even has a clam,” I laughed, “her entire body is made up of the lack of light. However the fuck that’s possible.”

“I dunno … ” Todd didn’t seem convinced. “I’d be willing to wager you’ll be balls-deep inside of that cloud of darkness at some point.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I shot back, “once we’ve used the Shadow World to get our army to the Eighth Circle, I don’t think I ever want to come back. This whole world is just kinda … depressing.”

“I know,” Invidia cooed, “isn’t it marvelous?”

“I dunno if I like this version of Elvira, bro,” Todd whispered. “She’s freaking me out with her peppy attitude.”

“Come now, Jacob,” Zilla called out from the front of the line, “we have much to talk about.”

That much was for sure.

I jogged up to the Shadow Person’s position and then began to question her intensely.

“You said there were other Nephilims who had tried to be your savior before,” I began, “who were they, and what happened to them?”

Zilla continued to float forward, but her head swiveled around ninety degrees to look me straight in the eyes.

“I’m sure you can guess,” she joked coldly. “It’s the same thing that happens to all false prophets.”

“They died?” I gulped.

“Perhaps,” Zilla continued. “Some of them went back to Hell or Earth Realm and then never returned to the Shadow World. We all assumed they were killed by their fathers or the Divine or some other party. As I’m sure you’ve found out, nobody is too fond of Nephilim.”

“You can say that again,” I agreed.

“We did witness the demise of some of them, though,” she explained. “Several of the Nephilim who sought out the Shadow World wanted to fulfill the prophecy, but they weren’t powerful enough to kill Tenebris.”

“Is that the man who took your throne?”

“Very good, King Ralston,” the Shadow Person mused. “Tenebris was one of my former generals, one of the most ruthless creatures to ever exist on any plane of existence.”

“Is that why the Exalted One and my father banished you here?” I asked. “Because of Tenebris?”

“Hardly,” Zilla answered with a slight chuckle. “We were all ruthless, King Ralston. We wanted to wipe out all of creation and start anew, with us as the primary inhabitants of the universe. Obviously, neither side wanted to hear that.”

My blood ran cold in my body, and I could feel the color draining from my face. This all sounded very familiar.

In fact, that sort of thing was exactly what Beelzebub, Uriel, Baphomet, and Gressil had wanted to do.

Was this still the right call? Was I going to be inadvertently handing my greatest enemy an army of powerful, ruthless beings who would follow along with his crusade?

“I know that look,” Zilla interjected, “and I can assure you, King Ralston, we are long past that. In fact, the Caliginis have actually made quite the home here in the Shadow World, a home we have no desire to vacate. All we want now is to be free of Tenebris’ cruel regime. And you, spawn of Lucifer, could finally be the one to do it. The Book of Bezaleel has foretold all.”

“First off, just call me ‘Jacob,’” I reminded her, “second, you really gotta elaborate on this ‘Book of Bezaleel,’ because I’ve never heard of it before.”

Zilla turned her head back toward the horizon and remained eerily silent, but I could tell she was mulling over her next words carefully.

“The Book of Bezaleel is our sacred text,” she explained, “it is the other reason the powers that be banished us to this world. We wished to add our book into the holy scripture on Earth Realm, but the Exalted One wouldn’t allow it. The Creator claimed it was too ‘radical’ to be given to humans, as did Lucifer. It was one of the few things in life they agreed on.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” I questioned, “what’s so radical about your holy book?”

Zilla went silent once more, almost as if she didn’t want to trust me with the book’s secrets. Finally, though, the Shadow Person caved.

“The Book of Bezaleel is full of dark magic,” she explained, “magic more powerful than anything in the known universe. Magic that not even Lucifer and the Exalted One can control … It’s what makes up this entire Shadow World and gives you and I our dark Hellfire magic.”

“Well, shit,” I whistled, “I can see why they thought you were a threat. Is there any way I could see this book? I could use some upgrades in my spell casting abilities … ”

“We could all use some upgrades to our dark magic,” Eclipse added, “Look at what we’ve been able to do just in the time we’ve learned our new abilities?”

“That’s part of the prophecy,” the Shadow Person continued, “The savior and his followers will be endowed with the powers of the book once they have freed my people. But, Tenebris is currently in possession of the book. It’s what has kept him in power all these centuries. However, in the final chapter of the book, it speaks of the Lux Avertens, or the one who will restore light to our world by killing a cruel leader and returning our sacred book to its rightful owners. I believe that could be you, Jacob Ralston.”

“And what happens if I do this?” I demanded. “What happens if I really am the Lux Avertens, and I kill this guy and bring you back your book?”

“The Lux Avertens is our true leader,” Zilla retorted. “We would be forever in his debt, and we would serve him until the end of days. On top of that, it would give you all a massive power upgrade.”

I pursed my lips and fell silent as I considered her words.

This was a dangerous, yet tempting, offer.

On one hand, if we were able to pull this little side quest off, I would gain an entire faction of Shadow People into my army. Not to mention, if I didn’t have to worry about these creatures attacking my men, I could literally move them through the Shadow World at will.

Then there was the Book of Bezaleel. If that book was as powerful as Zilla was claiming it was, it would give me the ace up my sleeve to take out Beelzebub once and for all. It could also give me a leg up on Lucifer, too.

But, if I wanted to get this book and gain the trust of the Shadow People, I needed to kill the guy who currently had it. If Tenebris was strong enough to defeat not just one, but multiple Nephilim, he was going to be anything but a pushover. Luckily for me, I had something that none of the other Nephilim had.

I had my friends and a bag of tricks that would make even Houdini question his reality.

So, the choice was clear.

“Zilla,” I announced abruptly, “I’ll do it. My friends and I will kill Tenebris and bring you back your sacred text.”

Zilla’s head turned back to me, but all she did was stare in silence.

“Excellent,” she nodded after a long moment. “Then I shall take you to our safehouse in Umbra, and your journey can begin.”

“A safehouse?” Inpulsa scoffed, “I’m not a fan of hiding in the shadows.”

“It’s the only place in Umbra safe from Tenebris,” Zilla shrugged.

“Speaking of Umbra, how much longer is this voyage?” I asked. “Fighting that giant monster really takes it out of ya, and--”

“Umbra is wherever you want it to be,” Zilla interrupted. “Our ability to travel to the City of Shadows comes from our powers, not through passing over physical barriers.”

“Soooo, you could have taken us there this whole time?” I grumbled.

“Yes,” she admitted, “but I wanted to make sure you were truly ready for what lies ahead. Umbra is a very dangerous, very sacred place to us Caliginis. We would never allow anyone to enter unless we were sure they were committed to our cause.”

Zilla held up her hand, and all of the Shadow People behind her halted in response. Then she held out her two long, lanky arms, and black Hellfire began to spread across her nebulously-shaped palms.

It was then a morbid thought hit me.

“Zilla?” I questioned. “What would have happened if I hadn’t agreed to do this quest?”

“Don’t worry about it,” the Shadow Person retorted coldly. “You did agree, so why trouble yourself with ‘what ifs?’”

That told me everything I needed to know.

The Shadow People didn’t fuck around.

Slowly, Zilla rose up into the air on the power of her black Hellfire. Then she blasted her magic down into the ground, and it began to spread like wildfire across the distorted landscape until it suddenly rose up my feet.

I looked back and saw all of my friends and the remaining Shadow People become engulfed by the dark spell, and then they slowly began to dissolve into puffs of black smoke.

Once the fire had reached the top of my head, I felt my entire body become tingly, almost as if I had thousands of ants crawling all over me. Then I watched in horror as my hand began to fade away into a gas, followed by my arm and then my chest and then finally, the world went dark.

When I finally came to, we were all standing in front of a series of large, black metal gates. The barrier stretched out as far as the eye could see, all the way across the horizon, and it was enchanted with a black Hellfire spell.

“Holy shit, bro,” Todd shuddered, “now I know what Mario and King Koopa felt like at the end of the Mario Bros. movie.”

Upon further inspection, I could see there were several large structures off in the distance, far beyond the perimeter of this fence. Just like the Shadow People themselves, everything seemed to be missing barriers, and it all meshed together into a single, nebulous blob.

“Jacob Ralston,” Zilla mused as she floated up in front of the group, “welcome to Umbra, the City of Shadows.”

Chapter 7

“Damn.” Todd whistled as we walked past a few houses on the outskirts of Umbra. “Who woulda thought the Shadow Realm would be so quaint? Like seriously, bro, this could be the backdrop of an HGTV show.”

“I’d like to see that one,” I mused, “what would it be called, House Hunters: Shadow World?”

“I was thinkin’ more like Love It or Banish It myself,” the imp snickered.

Honestly, Todd had a point. The City of Umbra looked nothing like the eternal Hellhole that everyone had made it out to be. The streets were paved with a mixture of brimstone and wooden planks that made up a walkway between the buildings. The houses and shops throughout the city were constructed out of a series of glowing black logs piled on top of each other to create a sort of “log cabin” effect, complete with thatched A-frame roofs made out of hay.

But there was one thing that kept it from being as quaint as Todd claimed.

Every single object in the entire fucking city was black and surrounded by a purple ectoplasmic glow.

To make matters even stranger, all of the physical objects appeared to be gaseous and only held together by the violet glow around them. Yet, somehow, the path underneath us still held firm as we made our way through the city.

“How is this possible?” Deja pondered aloud. “I’m, like, not an architect or anything like that, but shouldn’t all these buildings be evaporating into thin air? This entire city defies the laws of physics!”

“That’s the beauty of Umbra, my friend,” Zilla intoned. “Once the Caliginis realized we were stuck here for all eternity, our unbridled rage and hatred quickly turned into self-preservation. And once we could collectively experience an emotion like that--”

“You learned how to use purple Hellfire,” I finished the thought. “But how? I thought only demons could use that sort of magic?”

“Who says we aren’t demons?” Zilla retorted. “Just because Lucifer doesn’t control us, that doesn’t mean we aren’t originally his creations … ”

“Can you use other Hellfire magic?” Deja interjected. “Because for some reason, none of us can use our green spells down here.”

“That is because the Shadow World is a pocket dimension, separate from all space and time,” the Shadow Woman continued. “It’s a place where time stands completely still, and the laws of your universe mean nothing. For example, if you were to stay here for the next hundred years, you wouldn’t grow old or wither away or die.”

“Inception, bro,” Todd whispered loudly into my ear, “if you hear Non je ne Regrette Rien, make sure you run toward it ASAP.”

“It’s not like that,” Zilla sighed, “while you are in the Shadow World, time passes equally in your universe. If you stay here for a day and then return to Hell, you will find only a day has passed. Your green flames may be powered by emotions of disgust and jealousy, but they always involve the manipulation of time and space and, since you are in a world devoid of said time and space, they won’t work at all.”

“Geez,” Tris scoffed, “that was a reaaaaallly long way of saying our green Hellfire powers don’t work here. You lost me somewhere around ‘lost in space and time.’”

“I didn’t say that at all,” the Shadow Woman said and turned her head like an owl.

“Exactly!” Tris declared as she shrugged.

“Slothy doesn’t listen to anything past five sentences, so you really gotta know how to talk to her,” Todd elaborated. “It’s a fine art, but I’ll totally help you nail it down, Godzilla.”

“Why do you keep calling me that name?” the Shadow Person questioned.

“Just go with it,” I chuckled, “Trust me, that is far from the worst nickname he’s given someone before, and I promise you whatever he comes up with next will be worse.”

“I can vouch for that,” Eclipse noted, “I was originally called ‘Tits n’ Tats.’ So much cooler than ‘Lisbeth.’”

“And I was ‘Winonna,’” Vidia sighed, “that’s a much more normal name than ‘Elvira.’”

Todd just shook his head and raised his hand.

“The Toddster has spoken,” he giggled. “Your names shall forever be written in the bedrock that is my brain.”

We walked through the city for about a mile, and my team were completely flanked by the group of Shadow People as we traveled. Finally, Zilla halted in her path, looked around in both directions, and then glided nonchalantly down an alleyway to her right.

We followed her halfway down the backstreet until the Shadow Person stopped, held out her arm, and summoned Black Hellfire into her hand. Zilla muttered a few words in Latin as the purple light began to fade away from the wall in front of her. Finally, she motioned for us to follow, and then she floated directly through the barrier before her.

The rest of the Shadow People stood guard as my succubi, Todd, and I stepped through the black mist. It was bone-chillingly cold against my skin as it floated past my body, and the sensation sent a shiver all the way down my spine.

On the other side of the enchanted wall was a massive room the size of a small warehouse, complete with sprawling aisles of wooden shelves that housed books, weapons, and other trinkets. All the way to the far left of the room was a wide-open space where several Shadow People were currently sparring with each other.

“Welcome to the headquarters of the Shining Alliance,” Zilla announced, “the resistance group that will once again bring the light back to this godforsaken place.”

“Bring back the light?” Inpulsa chuckled. “Sounds like my kinda resistance.”

“Why would anyone want to eradicate the darkness?” Invidia added. “Umbra seems perfect as it is!”

Zilla made a strange noise that almost sounded like laughter, but then quickly returned to her usual stoic self.

“It’s a metaphor,” she clarified, “Tenebris is a blight on our realm, and the Shining Alliance exists to snuff him out. And now, with you at our side, King Ralston … we may have a shot.”

“Tell that to the other Nephilim who died in this place,” I reminded her, “I’m sure you said the exact same things to them.”

“We’ll certainly get it right one of these times, won’t we?” Zilla mused as she floated over toward the shelves.

“Totally,” Todd whistled, “I’m totally gonna trust our chances to a band of freedom fighters who have to stay hidden all the time but are still preparing a suicide mission that reveals themselves to their enemy. That definitely always works out in the end, especially for the faceless soldiers who fight alongside the hero. Spoiler alert, the hero is moi.”

“Is that so?” I raised my eyebrow at the imp curiously.

“Fine, fine,” he conceded, “all of us are the heroes. But it’s totally an X-Men situation, where I’m Wolverine and Jakey’s … Professor X, I guess? Nobody gives a shit about anyone other than those two.”

“Hey now,” Inpulsa chuckled, “Jubilee is my homegirl. Don’t be talking shit about her.”

“Who?” Deja questioned. “I’m only familiar with the bald guy and the hairy, handsome dude with the claws.”

“I rest my case.” Todd gave a firm nod.

“How did you guys know anything about Earth Realm’s pop culture?” Tris demanded as she crossed her arms over her chest. “The one time I decided to ditch out on my duties and go exploring, I was punished for a really, really long time.”

The Sister of Sloth reached down, unfastened the furry boot on her right leg, and then rolled down the top of the garment to reveal a circle of deep, white scar tissue that wrapped around the entire radius of her ankle.

Even though I’d seen the beautiful brunette naked a million times before, I’d never noticed the horrific mark before. My women’s imperfections were few and far between, and I’d much rather focus on their beauty than their blemishes.

“Is that from Azazel’s punishment?” I comforted Tris as I placed a hand on her shoulder.

Tris’ normally chipper expression turned into one of somberness, and she looked down at the ground.

“It is,” she sighed, “there’s a matching one on my other ankle, too. That oversized son of a bitch strung me up by my ankles over a pit of molten lava using razor wire. The heat was nearly unbearable, but if I tried to squirm away … ”

“The wire would cut you,” I finished her sentence and clenched my fists.

“That’s some fucked up Jigsaw shit,” Todd added with a shudder. “I’m glad Jakey Ned Starked that motherfucker, and now I really don’t feel bad for selling his femur bone to that dude out in Washington.”

Inpulsa turned her head to the side and frowned.

“Azazel really was an asshole, wasn’t he?” the yellow-haired beauty lamented. “My old master may have been cruel, but he never did anything like that. In fact, he was about as hands-off as you could get when it came to his succubi. As long as we were on duty when we needed to be, he didn’t give a fuck about what we did in our spare time.”

“Speak for yourself.” Deja shook her head. “You remember where I came from, right? Beelzebub would have disemboweled me and fed me my own insides if he ever knew I was hanging around on Earth Realm without permission.”

“How did you keep it a secret?” Ira prompted. “Doesn’t your old boss travel back and forth to Earth Realm all the time?”

“Used to,” I corrected, “he’s trapped in Hell now, remember?”

“Right,” the tan succubus continued with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “and you have no idea how grateful all of us succubi of the Eighth Circle were for that one. Anyways … I literally owe my time manipulation powers for saving my skin so many times. I would sneak out for a meeting, hang out on Earth Realm for as long as I desired, and then manipulated time as I got back down to Hell and met with my pimp. That fuckwit Zander always thought I was gone for an hour or two, when in reality I’d be gone for, like, half the day.”

“Ohhh, I remember Zander,” Todd noted, “wasn’t that the demon your cultists iced like, a couple of months ago? I remember Ollie telling me they split his head open like an overripe tomato.”

“I would have loved to see that.” Deja smiled. “That dude was a total fucking asshole.”

“They all are,” Eclipse noted.

“The only silver lining is I did get to watch Jacob and my sisters kill my pimp,” Tris said as her depression turned to amusement, “I watched it on the magic mirror in our castle, and it was fan-fucking tastic.”

“Do you Physical World dwellers always banter this much?” Zilla interjected.

“This ain’t nothing, Gojira,” Todd snickered. “One time, we spent nearly an hour going back and forth about what characters were in what season of Power Rangers. Even though Super Sentai is way better.”

“That sounds … exhausting,” the Shadow Person noted.

“Uh-oh, Jakey,” Todd whispered, “she seems like a major introvert. You might have to really put your charm into overdrive if you wanna clap that trap.”

“Again, I don’t even think she has one of those,” I reminded the imp, but he just shook his head.

“Bro, how else do these things reproduce?” he shot back.

“We don’t,” Zilla spoke up in a booming voice that caused us to both go silent. “As I told you before, the Caliginis in Umbra are the last of our kind. The rest were either killed by the Divine and Demonic in the Great Purge, or executed by Tenebris for disobedience.”

Damn. As freaky as these Shadow People were, I kinda felt bad for them. It couldn’t have been easy to be the last of your kind, but it was even worse to see any scrap of hope killed off by a brutal dictator.

“So Shadow--er, Caliginis can’t reproduce?” I questioned as Zilla began to float down a nearby aisle. “How did you ever intend to grow as a species?”

“We weren’t supposed to,” Zilla said as her glowing red eyes narrowed. “That is not our intended purpose.”

The Shadow woman continued talking, but then Todd reached up and tugged on my pant leg.

“Ya hear that, Jakey?” Todd whispered as he tried to be much quieter than before. “She can’t reproduce. That means you’ve got the go-ahead to do the fancy king clancy when you two finally get it on.”

“The what?” I hissed back under my breath.

“Ya know … the ‘ol creampie. The baby gravy six shooter. Tsunami in the tunnel. Icing on the cake. Filling up her jacuzzi with your hose. Buttering her biscuit… ”

“Where the fuck do you come up with this shit, bro?” I whispered as Zilla continued to monologue.

“The Toddster’s mind is a fucked-up playground,” he snickered.

“ … And that’s how the Exalted One came to use us as his cleansers,” Zilla finished her story, even though I’d been distracted the whole time by Todd’s antics.

“When you say ‘cleansers,’” I asked as I air-quoted, “what exactly do you mean.”

“I just went over this,” Zilla sighed. “The Caliginis were created for one reason, and one reason only. As a human, I’m sure you’ve heard of the great plagues.”

“I have,” I nodded, “but I definitely don’t remember any of the plagues involving dark creatures with red eyes.”

“Those aren’t the ones I’m referring to,” the Shadow Woman continued. “I’m talking about the plague. You know, the one that wiped out all of the giant reptilian creatures that used to dwell on your planet.”

“Wait … ” Todd gasped. “Are you talking about the dinosaurs?”

“The giant creatures with scales and feathers?” Zilla asked. “The ones twenty feet tall?”

“A-Are you telling me Godzilla killed the dinosaurs?” the imp stuttered with amusement.

“Well, we didn’t kill all of them,” the Shadow Woman corrected, “some of the smaller ones escaped our wrath and went subterranean. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were still on your planet to this day, only evolved to be more humanoid.”

Slowly, Todd’s mouth fell agape, and at the same time, his eyes lit up and his mouth stretched upwards into a happy smile. Then his head twisted around to look at me, and the tiny imp had an expression of pure victory on his face.

“Lizard People, bro,” Todd announced as he thumped his chest, “just another one of the things everyone called me crazy for believing in! I told you our landlord was a Lizard Person, but did you believe the Toddster? Noooooo.”

“Mr. Jefferson wasn’t a Lizard Person,” I rolled my eyes, “he was just an asshole.”

“I swear, bro,” the imp continued, “he could make his eyes go in two different directions and everything, and I totally saw him catch a fly with his tongue once. Swear to the Exalted One.”

“Right,” I mused as I tried to steer the conversation back to Zilla, “so you purged all the dinosaurs. Then what happened?”

“There was what Lucifer and the Exalted One called a ‘miscommunication,’” she continued. “The Caliginis had been created to wipe out the Exalted One’s first creations and then leave the Earth for his next experiment.”

“Humans,” Invidia gagged.

“That’s right,” Zilla confirmed, “but that’s not what we had in mind. If we were powerful enough to wipe out nearly an entire species of creatures, then why should there even be a third experiment? Were we not good enough to populate this world the Exalted One had created?”

“I’m gonna take a wild guess here and say ‘no,’” I chuckled, “at least, not in my father and the Exalted Ones’ eyes.”

“They wanted beings made in their own image,” Zilla grumbled, “not, and I quote, ‘faceless, abominable, savage creatures’ like us. As you can imagine, we didn’t take their slight too well, and we began to go rogue. The Caliginis went around killing off every creature we could find to slight our two enemies, until they finally banded together and banished us here.”

“It’s kinda ironic,” Eclipse mused, “you wanted to be the dominant creatures on Earth, which got you banished here. But now you’re by far the most dominant creatures in this realm.”

“And we would be even more bountiful, if not for Tenebris,” the Shadow Woman sighed.

“Well, that’s why I’m here,” I admitted. “If I’m really your ‘savior,’ then I can help you overthrow this guy and give you your freedom back. Now, how the fuck do we get to Tenebris?”

“He’s probably holed up in a giant-ass castle, bro,” Todd suggested. “That seems to be where all the major boss battles seem to take place.”

“That’s not true,” Ira reminded the imp, “we also fight in the middle of a major city sometimes.”

“Or an abandoned small town,” Tris added.

“Or a desolate desert or field,” Invidia mused, “we seem to have a lot of our big fights in those.”

“Thank fuck we keep finding these giant swatches of land to fight in, bro,” Todd giggled, “it’d be pretty damn inconvenient if all our battles took place in giant populated cities. We’d be looked at like, mass murderers or some shit like that with all the destruction we’d cause.”

“Well,” Zilla mused, “today is your lucky day, imp. Tenebris is a very hands-on king who always makes it a point to come down from his castle and flaunt his royalty to the townspeople daily. If we want to eliminate him, we might have to take the fight to the streets.”

“Fuck,” Todd sighed, “I’m totally gonna have to snap his neck while he’s shooting lasers out of his eyes, aren’t I?”

“I-I don’t think Tenebris has those sort of powers--” Zilla began, but Todd was on a roll.

“But then I’ll totally scream afterwards to make sure everybody knows I didn’t want to kill him,” he continued, “and then people will hop on the internet and yell at each other over it. It’s gonna be rough, bro.”

There was silence as Zilla tried to figure out what Todd was talking about, but then she simply turned toward the rest of the group to continue the discussion.

“Are you suggesting we ambush him?” I questioned.

“Yes and no,” another eerie voice, this time male, spoke up. “Trying to ambush the King of Umbra in the open streets would be suicide. We’ve already tried it with another one of our ‘saviors’ and lost both him and four of our best men.”

A male Shadow Person floated over to me, looked me in the eyes, and then bowed his head in greeting.

“King Ralston, this is Blagdan, my most trusted general,” Zilla explained. “He has been the one in charge of our covert operations for nearly sixty years.”

“Only sixty years?” Inpulsa questioned. “Haven’t you been in the Shadow World for millennia? That doesn’t inspire much confidence.”

“I’ll admit I’m somewhat fresh-faced,” Blagdan sighed, “but that’s unfortunately how it is around here. Every time one of these ‘saviors’ shows up to kill Tenebris, it usually results in one of our generals being killed with them. I’m just the most recent promotion, that’s all.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Zilla reassured the Shadow Man, “you’ve been a loyal soldier for as long as I can remember, and you’ve been a great general in your short time as a leader. However, tomorrow will be your most defining moment.”

My entire body felt like it was on pins and needles as Zilla’s words sent a chill through me.

“Tomorrow?” I asked. “You want us to attack tomorrow?”

“Of course,” the Shadow Queen retorted, “the longer you and your friends stay here, the higher the risk of our operation being discovered. Tenebris keeps up to date on the happenings of the other Realms, and I’m sure he already knows you’re the next one up to be our potential savior. Especially since you match up with the Book of Bezaleel’s description to a tee.”

“I just got here,” I protested, “I don’t think it’s a good strategy to engage so quickly.”

Cupi and Daniel were my two best strategists, and neither of them were here with me in the Shadow World. I was confident my friends and I could kill this guy without their help, but it was going to be fairly difficult if we didn’t have some time to get our bearings and work out a plan.

“That’s why I’ve asked Blagdan here to show you around Umbra,” Zilla continued, “and we already have a plan, King of the Fourth Circle.”

“Each and every day, Tenebris holds a royal court in the playhouse downtown,” Blagdan explained, “he has fools from all around the city come out and entertain him with their different acts. The rest of his schedule is fairly inconsistent, but he’s always at the playhouse three clock rotations after sunrise.”

“So, like, nine o’clock?” Todd questioned. “I dunno, Blagpipe. That’s awful early for the Toddster.”

“Me too,” Tris groaned, “I haven’t seen the time before ten a.m. in decades. I’m halfway certain the world doesn’t even exist before then.”

“Our laws of space and time don’t apply here, remember?” I reminded Tris and the imp. “For all we know, ‘three rotations of the clock’ could mean eight hours or something.”

“We will inform you when it is time to strike.” Blagdan nodded.

“Let me get this straight,” I began, “the plan is to wait until Tenebris is watching his fools perform for him, and then jump into action and kill him?”

“Sounds good to me,” Inpulsa smiled.

“Unless you have a better plan,” the general retorted, “we’ve tried just about everything else. The playhouse is one of the few places where we haven’t tried to kill the king, and that’s mostly because it’s full of innocent civilians and we don’t want them to be caught in the crossfire.”

“It’s also the reason Tenebris is bold enough to show up there regularly,” Zilla added, “even if he does surround himself with his royal guard when he does so.”

This wasn’t making sense. If they knew Tenebris was a sitting duck in the playhouse, why had they waited so long to make their move? It had to be more than just not wanting to accidentally kill their brethren.

They weren’t telling me everything. And that wasn’t fucking acceptable.

“Can you answer me one thing?” I mumbled as I rubbed my head in confusion. “Why haven’t you done this already? You know the exact time Tenebris is in the playhouse. You all surely know this city like the back of your hands, and could ambush him at any second of the day. So, what’s the hold up? Why are you waiting for my friends and I to swoop in and save you?”

Zilla and Blagdan looked at each other silently for a moment before their eyes looked back at me somberly.

“Because,” Zilla began, “as much as I hate to admit it … we’re not strong enough to kill Tenebris on our own.”

“What do you mean?” I demanded. “You just said your people wiped out the fucking dinosaurs and threatened the two most powerful beings in the universe. And now you’re telling me you can’t handle one dude?”

“Tenebris may only be ‘one dude,’” Blagdan warned, “but he’s no pushover.”

“There’s no way he’s more powerful than my father or the Exalted One,” I scoffed.

“Of course not,” Zilla explained, “but you must understand, King Ralston … the advantage of the Caliginis has always been our strength in numbers. We swarm and destroy our opponents, but that’s hard to do when there’s only a handful of us left willing to fight for the Shining Alliance.”

“Ahhh,” Todd said as the lightbulb came on in his head, “you’re into the whole ‘Zerg Rush’ thing.”

“I still don’t get it,” I huffed, “it’s still only one guy.”

“Tenebris broke the mold,” Blagdan noted, “unlike the rest of us, he’s a master tactician with unrivaled swordplay and powers that make the rest of us look like fools. We’ve tried to take him on without our savior, King Ralston, and each time, he’s slaughtered us like animals.”

Zilla floated over to me, placed her nebulous hands on my shoulders, and stared deep into my soul.

“We need you, Jacob Ralston,” she pleaded, “without our savior, we are but lambs to be sacrificed.”

Maybe it was the desperate, fearful tone in Zilla’s voice, or maybe it was just the fact it was nice to feel appreciated. Either way, I felt for these people.

I couldn’t just let them continue to be killed off at the behest of a draconian ruler. They needed my friends and me, and we weren’t going to disappoint them.

“Alright,” I conceded, “but if we’re going to do this so soon, I need to know some things. First off, if the Caliginis are bum-rushers, what makes Tenebris such an expert hand-to-hand fighter?”

I could hear Todd snicker at the term “bum-rusher,” but I simply tried my best to ignore him.

“When the initial purge happened, Tenebris was lucky enough to escape the Exalted One’s wrath,” Zilla explained. “He remained on Earth Realm with a handful of his brethren, which was where they remained for several millennia.”

“Then why would they show up here?” Eclipse mused. “I thought you guys didn’t want to be in the Shadow World?”

“Who wouldn’t want to be here?” Vidia gushed with a longing sigh.

“We didn’t,” Zilla confirmed, “but, like I said before, we’ve made the best out of our situation, and the Caliginis people have found a home a million times better than what we would have had on Earth.”

“And Tenebris got jealous.” I nodded.

“I suppose you could say that,” Blagdan shrugged, “but it was more of a cowardly move on the part of Tenebris. You see, he spent several millennia on Earth Realm, learning the ways of the humans. He eventually became a master swordsman and an expert in hand-to-hand combat, and then he and his cronies went around slaughtering men and trying to take control of the world.”

“The Shadow of Death,” Zilla added, “that’s what the humans called him.”

“Wait … ” Todd pondered as he stroked his goatee, “is that what Coolio was talking about in the first verse of Gangsta’s Paradise?”

“I’m pretty sure he was quoting the Bible,” I clarified.

“Which was based on that dude, right?” the imp shot back. “So, he was totally talking about Tinnitus!”

“Did the humans prove to be too much for Tenebris?” Deja questioned.

“It quickly became apparent he wasn’t going to conquer them like he had hoped,” Blagdan continued, “there were simply too many of them, and not enough of his men. Ironic, I know.”

“So, once Tenebris heard of the paradise we’d created down here, he set his sights on Umbra,” Zilla sighed. “When he finally figured out how to travel to the Shadow World, Tenebris made short work of our king and any Caliginis who opposed him. A large group of us realized we couldn’t face him head on and, well … that’s how the Shining Alliance was born.”

“Alright,” I nodded as I absorbed the history lesson, “so he’s a master of the blade. What else? Does he have any other weapons? You also mentioned something about his powers … ”

“Tenebris has the ability to ‘phase’ in and out of our world,” Blagdan explained. “All of us Caliginis experience the phenomenon from time to time, it’s how we end up in Earth Realm for short periods. But Tenebris is the only one who has learned how to control it, and he uses it during combat.”

“Greaaaaaat,” I sighed, “so it’ll be like fighting Nightcrawler, then.”

“Now would be a great time for you to have your Sherlock powers, Clockblocker,” Todd added, “but all our jolly green Hellfire powers are more useless than a micropenis in subzero weather. Nowhere to be found.”

“My flash-forward abilities aren’t born of green Hellfire,” Deja said in a somewhat defensive tone. “It’s just something that’s been programmed into my mind. It’s how I experience time.”

Suddenly, it dawned on me. That was how we were going to defeat Tenebris.

“Deja,” I implored as I walked over to the tan succubus, “if your flash forward powers are still working in here, do you think you could use them to predict where Tenebris will teleport?”

The brunette’s eyes went wide as her face contorted uncomfortably.

“Jacob … ” she sighed, “we had this conversation earlier. I can’t control it at will yet. Maybe it’ll work, but maybe it won’t. And if it doesn’t you’ll, like, totally get killed.”

“Not a chance,” I promised, “I’ve fought way tougher things than some teleporting dude with a sword. Your powers don’t have to work every single time he teleports. They just have to work once. That’s all it will take for me to kill that mother fucker and end his reign of terror.”

“There’s still the guards,” Zilla reminded us, “they are nearly as deadly with their weapons as Tenebris, though they don’t have his abilities.”

“How many?” I shot back.

“Our spies indicate there’s seven,” Blagdan explained, “two who will never leave their king’s side, and five more who are there for general bodyguard duty.”

Shit. If what Zilla and Blagdan were telling me was true, these guards were highly-trained assassins at best and Demon Lord-tier at worst. Fighting all seven of them plus Tenebris at the same time would be a suicide mission.

“Is there any way we could split them up?” I pondered aloud. “Get Tenebris isolated so I could take him one-on-one?”

“Yes and no,” Blagdan sighed. “He might be an expert combatant, but the King of Umbra is somewhat of a coward. The last few times we tried to attack him, he slayed a few of our men and then ran away with two of the guards. Meanwhile, the rest of his cronies stayed behind to finish the job.”

“We can use that to our advantage.” I nodded.

“How?” the general demanded. “His royal guard will cut us down before we’ll even have a chance to go after him.”

“Not if we divide and conquer,” I explained. “Not to sound pompous or anything, but you’re currently standing in the presence of a Demon King and six Demon Lords. That’s seven people who can go toe-to-toe with these assholes, and I’m sure that’s something your previous ‘saviors’ didn’t have before.”

“I’m afraid I’m still not following,” Zilla admitted.

“Now, I’m just kinda spit balling here,” I explained, “but I think this might just work. Tenebris and his men will be in the playhouse, not expecting anything to go down, right?”

“Most likely.” Blagdan nodded.

“So, we’ll send in a strike team led by Todd to be a distraction,” I elaborated.

“Wait, Jakey … ” the imp cut in as he raised his hand like an overexcited child in school. “Why am I leading the distraction team?”

“Uhhhhh, because you’re an excellent leader?” I lied.

Todd put his hands over his heart and made a high-pitched sound of glee.

“Thanks, bro.” He smiled. “I won’t let you down!”

“I’m sure you won’t,” I laughed, “Tris, Ira, Eclipse, and Vidia will round out the squad. Meanwhile, Zilla, Deja, Inpulsa, and I will be the interceptors. We’ll wait outside for Tenebris to flee, and then we’ll kick his ass before he can escape.”

“And what about me, King Ralston?” Blagdan questioned. “Do you require reinforcements?”

“You guys will need to charge in with Todd’s team,” I explained. “Tenebris might think something’s up if he sees them attacking without you. I know it’s gonna be tough, but you have to trust me. I’ve yet to lose a single ally in combat yet, and I don’t intend to start now. What do you guys think? It’s a pretty simple plan, but I think it’ll work.”

“It’s the best shot we have at killing Tenebris,” Zilla agreed. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? We’ve followed failed saviors before. If something goes awry, and you end up dead at Tenebris’ hand, then we will move on, just like we have before.”

“Yeesh,” I whistled, “talk about a vote of confidence.”

“It’s settled, then,” Zilla noted as she turned away and began to float off toward the back of the warehouse. “Blagdan, please give our guests a grand tour of Umbra. They’ll need to know where they are going if we want a snowball’s chance in Hell.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The general saluted, and we watched as the Queen of Shadows floated away. Then, Blagdan motioned for us to follow him. “You heard the lady. Follow me.”

The Shadow Man floated over toward the formless door from which we’d entered, repeated the secret hand motions, and then passed through the wall.

My friends and I looked at each other cautiously before we stepped out onto the streets of Umbra once more.

Chapter 8

“Brooooooo,” Todd giggled as we walked through the cobblestone and wood streets of Umbra, “I totally came up with a name for my strike team.”

“Oh?” I questioned as I thought of all the crazy possibilities. “Do tell.”

“Yes, please,” Invidia sighed, “I want to vet the name first before you put it on a t-shirt or something.”

“T-shirt?” Deja perked up. “Can mine be a cutoff? Those ones are soooo cute!”

“You’re not even on the strike team, Clockblocker!” the imp retorted. “Also, you’re definitely not the right demographic for Toddy Todd and the Macabre Bunch.”

“Please tell me that’s not the final name,” Eclipse sighed, “like please, please tell me you just pulled that out of your ass.”

“But that would be a lie, Lizbeth,” Todd snickered, “and haven’t you heard what happens to liars? They go straight to Hell.”

“We already live in Hell … ” the tattooed beauty reminded him, but he just waved it off.

“That’s not the point!” Todd scoffed. “I already had the shirts made, so the name is non-negotiable.”

“How did you have the shirts made already?” I questioned. “We literally assembled the strike team like, ten minutes ago.”

“Never underestimate the power of Etsy, bro.” He wagged his finger at me.

The imp’s response raised way more questions than it answered, but I wasn’t even going to dive into that. Instead, I turned my attention back to the beautiful and mysterious city around us.

Now that we were deeper into the heart of Umbra, the true character of the village came to life. The streets were bustling with Shadow People, all of whom spared me little more than a passing glance as they dashed about the sidewalks.

Every now and again, we’d be forced to move off the road by an incoming carriage, pulled by two smaller versions of the creature we’d slain earlier. There were also vendors trying to peddle their wares to innocent passersby, as well as Shadow People off in alleys cooking over an open fire.

“I gotta ask, Blagdan,” I confessed, “I didn’t expect Umbra to be so…”

“Alive?” the Shadow Man mused. “I understand why you might think that. Tenebris told all of us how you humans viewed us, as well as all the lies that Lucifer and the Exalted One spread about our kind. That we are uncontrollable monsters who only wish to kill and maim. That we are beasts of violence, without empathy for anyone but ourselves. As you can see, we are just simple people, like you and the rest of your kind.”

“I don’t know if I’d call your current situation ‘simple,’” I chuckled.

“Yeah, Blagpipe,” Todd added, “I’ll be the first to admit I was totally getting lost in your story back at the headquarters. And not lost like, into it lost. I honestly had no fucking idea what you were talking about at some points. But you know the Toddster … I’m just here to go with the flow and help out my bestest bud in the whole world!”

“I like this one’s gusto.” Blagdan pointed at the imp. “I truly hope he does not meet his end on the point of Tenebris’ blade.”

“Uh, thanks … I guess?” Todd awkwardly chuckled.

“Are you sure it’s wise to walk around without some sort of disguise?” Ira questioned. “We kind of stick out like a bruised, swollen set of balls.”

“Not the analogy I would have used, but okay,” I laughed under my breath.

“There are not many humans or demons who make it to the Shadow World,” Blagdan explained, “but it is not completely unheard of. It is also not unheard of for a Caliginis to steal a human from Earth Realm during their crossover and then bring them back here.”

“For what purpose, exactly?” I asked cautiously as I felt my hand instinctively rest on my sword hilt.

“For testing, of course,” the general continued. “The Caliginis wish to find out how humans function, particularly their brains and their reproductive organs.”

“You want to learn how to create more Caliginis,” I noted.

“It’s a pipe dream,” the Shadow Man admitted, “but if we don’t take any action, our race runs the risk of dying out completely. We have our top scientists analyzing specimen samples in the hopes we can find a way to create children ourselves.”

“Wait … ” Todd gasped, “by ‘specimen samples,’ do you mean--”

“The human gametes,” Blagdan confirmed.

“Does that mean you’re tugging off other guys’ dicks?” the imp gagged. “With your cloudy fingers, I bet that feels like when you jerk off with Icy Hot on your hand.”

There was silence from the group, and then Todd just shrugged.

“Don’t act like you’ve never tried it before, bro,” the imp chuckled.

“I can say with one-hundred percent confidence I have never, ever in my life done that,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Never?” Todd prodded as he waggled his eyebrows. “Not even once? Not even when you felt like you were gonna be alone forever, so you started to have fantasies about getting hand jobs from the White Witch and Jean Grey at the same time?”

“Again,” I chuckled, “I can’t say I ever have.”

“Huh,” Todd stated. “My childhood must have been waaaaay more traumatizing than I remember, bro.”

“Hold on … ” I pondered as I tried to piece together everything Blagdan was telling us. “What happens to these humans you bring into the Shadow World?”

“Oh, they stay here for a while, tethered close to the one who brought them,” the general explained. “Then, once we feel another ‘phase jump’ coming on, we take them back home. Luckily for us, going through a ‘phase jump’ completely erases the short-term memory for most humans. And the ones it doesn’t? Well, nobody ever believes them.”

“Why would they be believed?” Ira spoke up. “They claim they get snatched out of their bed at night by strange shadowy creatures with weird proportions and glowing red eyes and then taken to some strange place where they are fondled, probed, and then returned? I wouldn’t believe it, either.”

“Bro,” Todd said as realization rose to his face, “alien abductions, bro. This explains everything! The Toddster was right once again!”

“I’ll be sure to add it to your tally,” I chuckled, and then pretended to make a mark on an invisible chalkboard.

We ventured on through the city, down a few alleyways, and across some of the uneven streets until, finally, we came upon a small town square.

“The center of Umbra,” Blagdan announced as he gestured wildly with his arms, “or, as the citizens like to call it, ‘the Shadow Circle.’”

I nearly asked him why it was called that, but my query was answered when I noticed the fountain at the center of the circle.

Like everything else in this place, it was made up of dark, nearly formless material encapsulated by purple Hellfire. The fountain formed a massive circle with a tall, cylindrical structure that stretched ten feet out from the ground. However, the most peculiar thing about it all came from the tip of the tower, where the water would have come out of a normal fountain.

Instead, this thing sprayed out a dark, shadowy mist. Some of it spread out through the air like tear gas, while the entire bottom layer of the substance poured down into the receptacle below as if it were made of liquid.

“Damn,” I whistled, “Zilla wasn’t kidding when she said the laws of physics didn’t apply here.”

“Your target is right over there,” Blagdan explained as he pointed over toward the building on the far right of the town square. “The playhouse.”

The building the Shadow Man was referring to was a large, domed arena that reminded me a lot of the Globe Theatre we always learned about in English class. It had a similar thatched roof, but it appeared to be open at the center. Meanwhile, it was built up like a medieval house, with a small rectangular tower that jutted out of the circular structure and stood like an exclamation point on the elegant sentence.

Of course, the one major difference was the whole thing was all dark and glowing.

“Is that a hole in the roof I see?” I asked. “Because if so, that gives us a much easier way to get in and out without being spotted … ”

“It is,” Blagdan confirmed, “are you thinking the strike team could come in through the ceiling?”

“Fuck yeah, we’re going to!” Todd exclaimed. “And I’m totally gonna scream ‘I am the night!’ when I do it.”

“What about the entrances?” I continued as I began to walk toward the playhouse. “I want to make sure we cover all of the possible escape routes.”

“You’re in luck, Jacob Ralston,” the Shadow Man explained, “there are only two ways to get in and out of this building. The first is the main entrance, which you can see clearly from this vantage point. Then there’s the back entrance, the one the actors and stagehands use to enter and exit the theater without anyone noticing.”

“That sounds like a violation of soooo many fire codes,” Deja mused.

Blagdan just turned his head toward the succubus and narrowed his eyes.

“The Playhouse is quite literally made out of Hellfire,” the Shadow Man scoffed, “it wasn’t exactly built with emergency situations in mind.”

“Ohhhh,” Ira giggled, “Superbia would rip the architect a new asshole. And I’d probably be standing there watching, enjoying every single minute of it.”

“What if he decides to split through the windows?” Eclipse noted as she looked over each and every inch of the building. “That would give him almost fifty more possible exits.”

“He won’t,” Blagdan reassured us, “Tenebris’ armor is much too bulky to fit through a small window like that.”

“Wait, armor?” I gasped. “I thought he was a Shadow Per--er, Caliginis like you guys?”

Blagdan shook his head as he closed his red eyes and let out a deep sigh.

“He is, but he isn’t,” he explained. “Tenebris spent eons on Earth Realm and, like any other creature on your planet, he evolved naturally.”

“Uhhhh, that’s totally not how evolution works, bro,” Todd spoke up.

“Yeah,” Tris added, “the whole point of evolution is that it happens over time, through your offspring.”

“No, no,” the imp wagged his finger, “ya got it all wrong, Slothy. Evolution happens when your XP meter fills up multiple times and then you get to the right level. As long as your master doesn’t hit ‘B’ that is.”

“That’s … not right,” Tris protested, but Todd was having none of it.

“Well, you can always use a scale or a power stone,” he conceded, “but the point still stands!”

“I will admit, I don’t know how Tenebris or his men evolved,” Blagdan sighed, “but they did. All of them have enchanted armor attached to their bodies, along with hand-to-hand weapons.”

“Great,” I chuckled, “even more shit we have to worry about. Now, we just have to figure out which way we want to funnel him out.”

“Oh, that won’t be hard,” Blagdan continued, “he’s going out the back. Once the attack begins, the citizens of Umbra will flee. And, because they aren’t familiar with the second door … ”

“They’ll all crowd through the front,” I finished the thought. “It’ll be like fucking lemmings.”

“Precisely,” the Shadow Man continued, “which also means Tenebris’ men will try to escort him out through the back. However, that gives us a minor tactical disadvantage. Take a look.”

Blagdan floated over to the side of the building, glanced both ways down the alley, and then signaled for the rest of us to follow.

As we came around the corner, I could see why the Shadow Man was concerned.

Behind the Playhouse was an alleyway that could only be nine or ten feet wide and stretched the entire length of the building. That meant once Tenebris and his guards came barreling through the door, we would have next to no room to fight him as a team.

And, if he was as good at hand-to-hand as the Shining Alliance were making him out to be, he’d have all the advantage.

“We’ll have to surround him on all sides,” I suggested with a frustrated shrug. “Maybe if we can overwhelm the fucker, he’ll get sloppy.”

“Surround him?” Inpulsa scoffed. “How are we going to do that? There’s not even enough room for all of us to stand in a straight line.”

“The way I see it,” I tried to clarify, “we can hit him from three different angles. Two on each side, and then one or two in the air. If it’s Tenebris and his two guards, at least they’ll be focusing on different targets, and we all stand a fighting chance.”

“Maybe against the guards,” Blagdan warned ominously, “but not against Tenebris. Whoever chooses to go against him will be--”

“I’m going against him,” I interrupted. “That’s already been decided.”

“King Ralston,” the Shadow Man continued, “I must beg you to reconsider.”

“Not a chance,” I retorted, “I’m supposed to be your savior, right? What kind of a savior would I be if I delegated our most dangerous target to one of my friends?”

“He’ll kill you,” Blagdan tried one last time to sway me.

“I’ll kill him first,” I shot back. “I’ve fought dozens of demons before, not to mention Demon Kings, and this guy can’t be that much different. Besides, having Deja there will at least even the odds against him, if not make them even more advantageous.”

“There’s no talking you out of this, is there?” the general sighed.

“Not a chance,” Eclipse chuckled, “I’ve only been one of Jacob’s Demon Lords for a few months, but I can already tell you, once he sets his mind to something, nothing will keep him from doing it.”

“I see.” Blagdan nodded grimly. “Then, if you believe this scouting endeavor was sufficient, we should head back to HQ. I hate being out on the streets like this, even if it’s not during Tenebris’ regularly-scheduled hours.”

The Shadow Person looked around frantically before he zipped past our position and floated back out into the town square.

The rest of the team dashed off after him at the pace of a brisk power walk. We didn’t want to draw any more attention to us than we already were, but we also wanted to get back to the base as quickly as possible.

Then it hit me.

A strange scent of oily fish, mixed with some savory spices and dry herbs to create a brilliant aromatic spectacle. The smell was so fucking good, I immediately stopped in my tracks, and my stomach let out a deep growl.

Suddenly, Todd’s tiny mitts clapped against the side of my cheeks and turned me to face his wide, beady eyes. Drool was sliding out of the imp’s mouth seemingly by the gallon, and his lips were twisted into a toothy grin.

“Ya smell that, Jakey?” Todd questioned.

Before I could answer, the imp used his hands to shake my head up and down as if I were agreeing with him.

“Y-y-yes, T-t-t-todd!” I agreed, and then he stopped. “Whatever that is, it’s making my stomach gurgle like lava.”

“That does smell amazing,” Eclipse added, “much better than the feasts of Vargrat my sisters and I are used to eating. Except for the dishes Gula makes. Those ones are out of this world.”

“Everything Sister Gula touches becomes pure ecstasy in your mouth,” Ira moaned before she took a deep whiff of the air. “But this stuff? I want to rub whatever it is all over my naked body and then go stand in a cage full of hungry wolverines.”

Blagdan cocked his head curiously as he looked at Ira, but he said nothing.

“She’s into satanism,” Todd whispered to the Shadow Person loudly. “The reeaaaal kinky stuff.”

“I wasn’t aware worshiping Lucifer involved such strange rituals,” Blagdan mused.

“Sadism, bro,” I corrected the imp. “Not satanism.”

“Oh, no!” the imp said through an over dramatic gasp. “She’s depressed? No wonder she likes being tortured all the time! Do you need some therapy, Crazy Eyes? You’re always welcomed on Uncle Toddster’s couch. Just not on Saturdays. That’s when I use it as a casting couch for Todd Thumping Thots.”

“Seriously?” Tris gasped. “I sleep on that thing, dude!”

“What?” The imp just giggled. “I clean it once a week.”

“Once a week?” the Sister of Sloth said as she stamped her foot.

“Well, yeah.” Todd shrugged. “If you clean it any more frequently than that, you’ll remove that vintage leather shine. And you can’t have a casting couch video with a dull couch, Slothy.”

“I thought you were only into Earth girls, bro?” I raised an eyebrow at the imp. “Who exactly are you getting for your videos?”

“I might only be into human chicks, bro,” Todd explained, “but there’s a whole untapped market out there for videos with real-life demon chicks. I usually just put out some help wanted ads, set up the camera, and then walk away while they all do their business. I haven’t watched any of the things yet, but they’re a huuuuuge hit back on Earth Realm. We’ve sold like, thousands of copies in the last month. And, if my sources are correct … I think we’ve even broken into the Heaven market.”

“How are you paying these demons?” I said as I tried to keep my jaw off the floor.

“Didn’t you hear me, Jakey?” Todd sighed. “The videos pay for themselves!”

“But, like, what do you tell them you’ll give them in exchange?” Deja tried to clarify.

“I dunno,” the imp shrugged, “I always tell ‘em to go talk to Strawberry Shortcake, but that she won’t be in until the twenty-ninth of February. That way, we’ve got three whole years until they show up for their payment!”

“Todd … ” I facepalmed, “this year is a leap year. That’s only a few months away.”

The smile faded off the imp’s face as he pondered my words. Then his lips pursed into a cringe as he began to shake his head back and forth.

“Strawberry Shortcake’s not gonna be too happy I offered ‘em a million a pop, is she?” the imp whistled. “Oh, well, like everything in the Toddster’s life, I’ll put off thinking about those consequences until their right up in my face.”

“That’s not exactly a good idea--” I warned, but the imp cut me off with a wave of his hand.

“Not until those consequences are so far up in my face that I can’t inhale without smelling their snatch, bro,” the imp repeated. “Now, who wants to get some grub? The Toddster is famished.”

“Well, I was hungry,” Inpulsa grumbled, “emphasis on the ‘was.’”

“You’ll be fine, Pikachu,” the imp scoffed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna find out what that delicious smell is.”

Before anyone could stop him, Todd disappeared into a blur of red and headed straight back toward one of the vendors we’d passed. He came to a halt right in front of the Shadow Person and his wares, took another deep breath, and then gestured for us to come over to his position.

The succubi, Blagdan, and I all sauntered up to the vendor as the incredible smell grew even stronger. Finally, once we were in place, I could see the dish in question.

The Shadow Person had four large spits that rotated over a fire of black and red flames. On the skewers were three fish each, each one about as long as a trout, but with the girth of a catfish. They had long, curved mouths that traveled nearly a quarter of the way down the side of their now-charred white bodies, which themselves flowed down into a sharp point at the end. A barbed tail with four jagged spikes hung lifelessly off to the side of the skewer.

Most curious of all, however, were the fishes’ eyes.

Or, rather, their lack of eyes.

The fish on the skewer just had deep, golf ball-sized sockets where the creatures of our world would have had eyes.

Even if I didn’t have a fucking clue what this was, it smelled like Heaven in the Shadow World, and I needed some of this.

“How much?” I questioned the vendor.

He stared back at me with his bright red eyes for a moment, but then he bowed his head softly.

“Huuuuumaaaaaan in the Shadow Worrrrrlllld?” he mused. “Annnndd you wisssssh to dine onnnn our cuisssinnnnnee?”

“He’s with me, Dade,” Blagdan explained as he moved to the front of the group, “no need to keep up the facade.”

“Oh,” the chef, Dade, chuckled, “well, in that case, how many can I do ya for, Blagdan?”

I stood there and watched in disbelief as Blagdan ordered a fish for each of us as nonchalantly as you’d order a taco from a food truck.

These creatures may have looked horrific and acted eerily, but they were no different than anyone else I’d known on Earth Realm or in Hell.

After the order was placed, Dade held out a pointed finger, ran it across the skewer horizontally, and then swiped the fish off into a small, shadowy plate. Once he had all eight of the fish placed, he turned around, picked up a wooden spoon, and then began to scoop chunks of some sort of vegetable onto each plate. Finally, he held out the plates one-by-one to each of us, gave Blagdan a farewell wave, and then began to skewer even more fish onto his hearth.

“What was that about?” I asked as I tried to ignore the delicious aroma assaulting my nose.

“Dade is sympathetic to the Shining Alliance,” Blagdan explained. “Of course, for the sake of his business, he has to pretend he’s not, but he’s a good ally to have nonetheless.”

“I was more talking about the weird way of talking he was doing,” I clarified. “Why do some of you talk like that, but the rest don’t? And you can turn it on and off at will?”

“You mean tallllkinng like thisssss?” Blagdan hissed in a somewhat mocking tone. “That’s just our way of seeming intimidating to humans. When we phase over into your world, we have to be careful. We’re out of our element, and as you have seen, we are not impervious to injury at the hands of an Earth Realm dweller. So, we put on the scary voice to try and frighten them.”

“Well, it sure as fuck works.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I was scared shitless of you guys the first time I accidentally landed here.”

“So scared we didn’t even bring it up for like, twelve more adventures,” Todd interjected.

“I don’t think it’s intimidating,” Vidia sighed, “I think it makes you all seem even more badass than you already are.”

“If this meal tastes as good as it smells, then you Caliginis are one-hundred percent badass in my book,” Deja giggled. “What exactly is it, anyway?”

“You are looking at Darkfisk and mushrooms,” Blagdan explained, “a dish of the common folk of Umbra, mostly because they’re the only things that occur naturally around these parts.”

“The blind, mutated fish I get … but the mushrooms?” Eclipse questioned. “Aren’t those an Earth Realm food?”

“They are,” Blagdan explained, “but, unlike so many other crops the Caliginis have tried to bring in from Earth Realm over the years, those don’t require sunlight. Which means they’re one of the few delicacies that can be grown here in Umbra. And when I mean delicacy … just try one, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

We continued walking through the town until we found a small wall of black stone and wood that stood about four feet off the ground. A perfect height for sitting and enjoying our meal.

So, the eight of us plopped down on the makeshift bench, and then we began to scarf down our food.

“Ehhhh, I dunno about this,” Todd said as he inspected a chunk of the mushroom, “can I eat this without saying ‘no homo?’ Mushrooms look way too much like an ‘ol helmet head to me.”

“They’re chopped up, bro,” I reminded the imp, “right now they just kinda look like burnt, rubbery chunks.”

“And they thrive in the darkness,” Vidia added as she raised a piece to her lips. “Just like me. You can’t go wrong with something like that.”

The Sister of Envy placed her lips on each side of the mushroom, inhaled, and slurped it down in one quick motion. She let the flavor simmer in her throat for a minute, but then she smiled intensely as her eyes rolled back in her head.

“That good?” I asked.

Invidia picked the rest of the mushrooms up in a single handful, tossed them into her mouth, and made a subtle moaning noise as she chewed them up.

“I’d say that’s a ‘yes,’” Ira whispered from beside me, “I’d know those muffled moans of pleasure anywhere.”

Inpulsa tasted a couple of the morsels, nodded, and made a “not bad” face. Meanwhile, Eclipse and Deja had already both completely devoured their side dish.

Well, shit, now I had to try these.

I picked up the piece of mushroom with my thumb and index finger and instantly realized they weren’t the same as the ones we had on Earth Realm. They might have appeared rubbery and slimy, but they were actually quite firm to the touch. The mushrooms were warm and slick with what I could only assume was lard of some sort, and I could already feel my mouth watering as I raised the morsel up to devour it.

The second I popped the mushroom into my mouth, my taste buds were hit with a wave of earthy delicacy. As I chewed the flavorful mouthful, I felt the mushroom nearly melting in my mouth like butter. I swallowed them down with a firm gulp, licked my lips, and then went back for more.

Blagdan wasn’t kidding when he said this stuff was gourmet.

I destroyed the rest of the mushrooms on my plate and then glanced over to see Deja studying the Darkfisk she’d picked up with the tip of her spear and chain.

“How do you even eat one of these things?” the succubus questioned. “Do you go for the head or the tail, or do you just treat it like a drumstick and dig in from the side?”

“Whatever you do,” Blagdan warned, “do not eat the tail. You see those spines? Since Darkfisk don’t have any way of seeing, they’ve evolved to defend themselves with their tails. When they sense a predator is near, they’ll begin to flail wildly in hopes of striking their enemy with the deadly toxins that reside in the spines.”

“And they just … leave ‘em on when they cook ‘em?” Todd questioned with a quirked eyebrow. “That seems like a health code violation just waiting to happen.”

“It’s only toxic if it enters your bloodstream.” The Shadow Person shrugged, and then he used his sharp teeth to rip a chunk of Darkfisk off its body. “But the tail is where most of the flavor is at! So, don’t stab yourself with the spines or eat them, and you’ll be fine.”

It sounded simple enough.

So, I firmly grasped the Darkfisk with one hand on its head and the other on its tail, just beneath the deadly spines. Then I bent down, opened my mouth, and bit into its scaly body as hard as I could.

The roasted scales flaked off into my mouth and instantly melted against my tongue. They didn’t really have much flavor, but they added a bit of texture that paired quite well with the delicate, fleshy meat that came after. The actual flesh of the fish was somewhat briny and salty, yet still fatty all at the same time. It was almost like I was eating a piece of salmon straight off the fish, and I couldn’t help but let out a moan as the burst of flavor swirled around in my mouth.

“Holy shit,” Ira gasped as she swallowed down a bit of the Darkfisk. “I’ve had plenty of ritzy dinners with fish back when I was pretending to be Marvin Franklin’s wife, but I think this might top them all. I’ve never tasted anything so succulent in my life!”

“It’s pretty good,” Inpulsa added nonchalantly.

“What do you mean, ‘pretty good?’” Eclipse mused and slapped the yellow-haired succubus on the shoulder. “It’s alright to show some emotion every now and again, you know.”

“I show plenty of emotion,” Inpulsa said with a sly smile, “when I’m lighting up my enemies, I’m in pure euphoric bliss. And when I’m alone with Jacob … ”

“I’m eating, Pikachu!” Todd warned through a mouthful of fish. “Don’t make me send you back to your pokeball.”

“But there is one thing I’m still wondering about … ” Ira pondered aloud. “Do all of the toxins cook out of the fish’s tail, or is it still as potent as it was when it was alive?”

“None of us have been dumb enough to try it out,” Blagdan chuckled. “I’d say that’s a question to--”

Before he could finish his sentence, Ira picked up the remnants of her dinner, quirked her head, and then stabbed the spines as hard as she could into her right leg.

“Ohhhhhhhh, that’s the stuff!” she gasped.

Suddenly, the flesh on her leg began to turn black as visible blue liquid filled her veins, and then her eyes rolled back in her head as she fell off the wall. As she laid there convulsing on the ground, she continued to moan orgasmically in between coughs.

Blagdan nearly choked on his food when he saw Ira go down, and he dashed over and bent down so he could help her.

Meanwhile, the rest of us just watched with amusement.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” the Shadow Person demanded as he looked up at us. “Why aren’t you helping her?”

“She’s fine, Blagpipe.” Todd waved his hand. “She’ll be healing herself up in three … two … ”

Suddenly, Ira’s entire body was engulfed with the warm, healing flames of her golden fire. The blue veins and black skin slowly faded away until it was the regular cream-colored shade the Sister of Wrath was used to. Then the strange, foamy material that had been pouring out of her mouth evaporated into thin air, and the succubus pulled herself back up to her feet.

“Whew, what a rush,” the dark-haired beauty giggled. “Nobody throw out your leftovers. I’m definitely gonna want those for later … ”

“What in the bloody hell just happened?” Blagdan gasped with wide eyes.

“Ira’s just being Ira,” Vidia explained. “Don’t mind her. I try not to.”

Ira stuck her tongue out at her Sister, who promptly returned the gesture with an added middle finger.

“More spunky than usual,” Ira purred, “this place really brings out the best in you, Sister.”

“Told you she was depressed,” Todd whispered so loudly we could all hear it. “Sadism at its best, bro.”

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

“Wait … you said the Darkfisk’s toxins affect the Caliginis, right?” I questioned.

“They do,” Blagdan explained, “unfortunately, the first Caliginis who tried to catch one found that out the hard way.”

“Would it work on Tenebris?” I added.

The Shadow Person went silent, and I couldn’t tell if he was deep in thought, or if he just thought my idea was too foolish to even warrant an answer.

“Perhaps,” he admitted after a long, drawn-out silence. “Actually, I don’t see why not.”

“But how will you get the toxins into him?” Deja questioned. “We’ll be lucky if my powers work well enough to get in a single blow…”

“That’s why I want to use this.” I nodded. “If I can dip my sword into this Darkfisk toxin, then a single blow is all I’ll need. I hit Tenebris, he phases away, and then the next time he reappears he’ll be writhing on the floor as he chokes on his own vomit.”

“Sounds like my last bar mitzvah,” Todd muttered.

“You’re Jewish?” Eclipse questioned.

“Me? Nooooo,” Todd shook his head, “but human Toddster could never pass up a good Shalomfest. Those people throw the best parties.”

“I could never be of that faith,” Tris shrugged, “too many rules.”

“Sister,” Eclipse chuckled through a mouthful of Darkfisk, “we’re demons. I don’t think we can be of any religion.”

“Everyone listen to Ira and save your spines,” I announced, “we’re going to need every ounce of venom we can possibly get.”

We sat in relative silence as the rest of the team and I cleaned off our Darkfisk and then placed all of the remains onto a single platter. We were going to carry it back to the Shining Alliance headquarters, where we would siphon out the toxins and then use it to create a deadly weapon.

The weapon that would bring an end to Tenebris.

Once the last succubus had finished her meal, we stood up to leave. However, Blagdan quickly held up his hand with a warning.

“Guards,” he hissed. “Tenebris’ guards are doing a patrol.”

We looked up the road and saw the Caliginis was right. There were two shadowy figures stomping down the wooden planks of the road, and both of them were much bulkier than the Shadow People I’d seen so far, with jagged edges on their shoulders and a pointed head that suggested they were wearing a helmet. They still had the same glowing red eyes and nebulous bodies, but they also appeared to be holding shadow-flamed spears.

“I thought you said they weren’t around at this time of day?” I shot back as I placed my hand on the hilt of my sword.

“They’re not supposed to be!” the Shadow Man retorted. “They must have decided to come out early, or maybe--”

“You there!” one of the guards shouted once they got closer. “Don’t move!”

“Aw, fuck,” I whispered.

It was only two guards. Surely, we could kill them and get away without much effort. Then again, Zilla and Blagdan had both warned us about these guys. If they were as good at hand-to-hand combat as I’d been told, this was gonna be anything but easy.

“Why are there humans in our realm?” the first guard growled as he held up his spear at Blagdan. “Are you with the Alliance?”

“Me? An alliance member?” Blagdan played it cool. “These are just some demons who accidentally ended up here when they were dicking around with black Hellfire. I was just being a gracious host and showing them around the city.”

“Likely story,” the second guard growled. “We’ll let Tenebris decide if it’s good enough or not.”

I looked over at Invidia, who was still holding onto the plate of Darkfisk remains, and nodded toward the platter. She must have understood what I was going for, because she slowly reached down and picked up one of the fish by its floppy spine.

“Gentlemen, that won’t be necessary,” Blagdan mused as he tried to smooth-talk his way out of this. “Tenebris surely doesn’t need to be bothered with--”

“Shut up!” the first guard sneered. “Come with us, or we’ll kill you all on the spot.”

“Not a fucking chance,” Inpulsa warned as yellow sparks flickered to her hands.

“Ma’am, put out that magic,” the second guard warned. “Put it out right now, or we’ll have to--”

I let out a whistle, and Invidia and I jumped into action.

The Sister of Envy took the tail of the Darkfisk, whipped it back, and stabbed it right into the spot where the guard’s jugular would be.

He let out a yelp of agony as he fumbled for the spines in his neck, but it was far too late. He began to gag as he crumpled to the ground.

At the same time, I spun around, drew my goat-headed dagger from its sheath, and stabbed it through the back of the first guard’s neck.

He tried to call out for help, but all that came out was a gurgly mess as his thick black blood oozed down his torso and onto the ground. The guard stumbled forward and tried to lash out at Blagdan with his spear, but the Caliginis Resistance Fighter was ready.

Blagdan grabbed the spear by its hilt, lunged forward, and stabbed his clawed hand directly into the guard’s throat. There was a spray of black liquid as the guard’s throat was ripped open, and then he collapsed to the ground, lifeless.

Meanwhile, the other guard was still alive, but he was convulsing in agony while bile-green foam spilled from his mouth.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” I demanded.

“Ya don’t gotta tell me twice,” Todd whistled, “what a way to go.”

“Awww, man,” Tris sighed, “I didn’t think I was gonna have to run today.”

“Exactly,” Blagdan warned as he began to float back toward the base, “we just violently killed two of Tenebris’ guards in a public setting. The whole town’s going to be calling for our heads.”

“I thought they hated Tenebris?” Deja inquired.

“They do,” the Shadow Man shot back, “but you know what’s more powerful than hate? Fear. And unfortunately, they fear our king much more than they hate him. Any one of these people would sell us out if it meant saving their own skins.”

We followed Blagdan down the streets of Umbra as quickly as we could as we tried to be as discreet as possible.

The entire city was now on high alert, and we were prime target number one.

Chapter 9

“Quickly, now!” Blagdan hissed as we snuck through the back alleys of Umbra. “We can’t let them--Halt!”

The Shadow Man held up his hand, and the rest of us stopped in our tracks and pressed ourselves up against the wall.

Three more guards marched by, but they didn’t seem to notice us. As soon as they were out of earshot, I pulled myself forward and walked up to Blagdan.

“How many of them are there?” I asked. “Seven?”

“I’m afraid not,” the Shadow Man explained. “There are seven guards who always escort Tenebris to the Playhouse, but there are many more who follow him, including some of our former brethren.”

“Fuck,” I sighed. “Does that mean we’re going to have to kill all of them, too?”

“Hardy,” Blagdan scoffed, “the guards only follow those who they see as the most powerful. If Tenebris were to fall, they would simply switch allegiances to whoever killed him. Let me go first … I look the most inconspicuous of us all, even if they may recognize me.”

“How are they gonna recognize you?” Todd giggled. “Aside from those guards, you all literally look the same.”

“Not cool, bro,” I hissed at the imp, “totally not cool.”

Todd’s eyes widened when he realized his gaffe, and he began to shake his head vigorously.

“I totally didn’t mean it like that,” he apologized. “You gotta understand, some of my best friends are Shadow People. I mean, Caliginis! Fuck.”

The imp hung his head with shame, but Blagdan was already on his way out and onto the street. He looked around cautiously before he gave the “all okay” signal.

We followed the Shadow Person for a few miles more, until we finally came to the alley that housed the entrance to the Shining Alliance’s headquarters. However, my heart fell into my stomach as we turned the corner.

There, inspecting the wall opposite of where the hidden entrance was located, were three more guards.

“We’re wasting our time,” one of them sighed, “there’s nothing here.”

“Says you,” the other one snorted. “You heard the reports, same as I. Several members of the Alliance were seen headed down this alleyway, and then they didn’t pop out the other side. And with the shit that just went down in the town square? I’m sure those humans, demons, and their little escort will be back here at any moment.”

“Fuck,” Blagdan grumbled. “No way to sneak past them.”

“Well, we can’t stay out here, either,” Inpulsa warned, “by this point we’re probably on every wanted poster in the city.”

“Kinkos doesn’t even print posters that fast, Pikachu,” Todd whispered, “there’s no way these dark Vikings rejects got ‘em out that quickly.”

“It’s an expression.” The yellow-haired succubus rolled her eyes and summoned yellow Hellfire into her hands. “Now, do you want me to light these fuckers up, or not?”

“Not yet,” I said as I placed my hand on the succubus’s arm and lowered it, “we need to be stealthy with this one, and I don’t really know how much ‘stealth’ you can get out of a giant bolt of lightning.”

“Oh, you want stealth?” Inpulsa smiled as she cracked her hands together. “I’ll show you stealth. Watch this.”

Without another word, the yellow-haired succubus strutted into the alleyway and down toward the guards. As she did so, all three of the bastards turned and drew their short swords toward her.

“Halt!” one of them growled, but Inpulsa just ignored them.

“Now, boys … ” she cooed as she strutted up to the first guard, “I’m just a little lost puppy, trying to find her way through this big, scary place. Could any of you help me?”

“Ohhhh, the ‘ol ‘sexy and helpless’ technique,” Todd snickered. “Many a woman has used that on me, bro. Too bad it only works on the weak-minded.”

“Didn’t Sandra Wilson get you to lend her your car?” I reminded the imp. “The brand new Mustang you had before Lola?”

“Yeahhhhh, and she’s totally gonna bring it back,” the imp whispered, “she’s just not done with it yet.”

“Bro, that was in college.”

“Maybe she needed it for a long errand, okay?” Todd sighed. “I’m tryin’ to watch the fireworks show here!”

“Ma’am,” the guard warned and held up his sword, “you need to step back right now.”

Inpulsa continued walking until she was standing at the tip of the guard’s weapon. Then she reached up, took his blade in her hand seductively, and blew the three guards a kiss.

The next thing we knew, she called forth yellow Hellfire into her hands.

The spell traveled down the sword at the speed of light, lit up the first guard like a Christmas tree, and then spread out onto the bodies of the other two. They all jolted and convulsed as they were fried from the inside, and then their red eyes went dark, replaced by smoke billowing out from inside their fried corpses.

Inpulsa turned her head back over her shoulder, held up her smoking hand, and blew away the smoke sassily.

“Alright,” I conceded, “that was fucking awesome.”

“Quickly!” Blagdan commanded. “We need to get inside and dispose of those bodies before more guards show up.”

The seven of us ran over to Inpulsa’s position. Then Eclipse, Ira, and I all picked up one of the fried bodies as Blagdan closed his eyes and began to speak the incantation.

Slowly but surely, the wall he was standing before turned from a solid into a gas, and then the eight of us slipped through.

Once we were inside the Shining Alliance headquarters, there were gasps throughout.

“Tenebris’ guards?” a disembodied voice gasped.

“What did you do?” demanded another.

“Do they know we’re here?” one of the Shadow People growled.

“Silence!” Zilla’s voice boomed through the building as she floated toward us cautiously. “What happened out there?”

Tris instantly stepped back, threw up her arms in surrender, and shook her head.

“Don’t ask me,” she mused, “I’m just a lowly spectator, out for a leisurely stroll.”

Blagdan explained everything. He told his queen about the new plan, about how we intended to split up Tenebris from his other guards and then take him out using Deja’s powers.

Unfortunately, that’s where we lost the Shadow Queen.

“You intend for this entire mission to ride on a power that this one can not yet fully control?” Zilla questioned and pointed to Deja. “That seems … foolish.”

“No offense, Zilla,” I shot back, “but I don’t think you’re really in the position to be judging people’s plans. How many ‘saviors’ have come through here and died because of their faulty battle strategies?”

“Too many,” the Shadow Woman shrugged, “but that was their doing, not ours. I will let you proceed as you wish, but know I have strong reservations about this idea.”

“I would trust Deja with my life,” I explained, “she’s one of my Demon Lords, and her powers are some of the strongest I’ve ever seen.”

“Jacob, stopppp,” the tan succubus giggled, “you’re gonna make me blush.”

“It’s true,” I continued, “besides, even if Deja’s powers are coming in sporadically, all I need is one shot. Vidia?”

Invidia stepped forward, held out the plate of Darkfisk remains, and bowed.

“What is this?” Zilla pondered. “The remnants of your dinner?”

“Yes,” I grinned, “but it’s also the key to killing Tenebris.”

“What, are you going to have him choke on a bone?” the Shadow Queen mused.

“We’re going to stab him with one of these toxic spines,” I explained. “It only takes a few seconds for this shit to kill a person. That’s all I need. One shot of this, directly into that fucker’s body, and it’s lights out for Tenebris.”

“I saw it first hand, my Queen,” Blagdan reaffirmed, “twice, actually.”

“And I’ve experienced it!” Ira purred. “I nearly choked to death on my own vomit. It was lovely.”

“The plan is simple,” I continued, “Deja tells me where Tenebris is going to teleport, I stab him with my sword that’s covered with this toxic shit, and then boom! No more Tenebris.”

Zilla remained silent as she mulled over my plan. Finally, she raised her slender hand to her chin and rubbed it in thought.

“It just might work,” she agreed. “Then again, I thought so many of the other savior’s plans were going to work, too. The only way we will find out is by trying.”

“That’s the spirit!” I clapped my hands together in victory. “Now, do you have some sort of machine or something that can squeeze the venom out of these things?”

“I’ll get the blacksmiths working on it,” Zilla confirmed. “If you’ll hand over your sword, I shall have them begin.”

Hand over my sword? This was my most beloved weapon, the one that had saved my ass millions of times and slain countless demons. Still … I trusted Zilla. It was in both of our best interests to see Tenebris gone, so there was not a chance she was trying to fuck me over.

After a split-second of deliberation, I handed over the sword.

“And what do you want me to do in the meantime?” I questioned.

“You’ve had a long day,” the Shadow Queen nodded, “you all have. What would be best for you right now is to go off and rest. There are ten rooms upstairs, so that should be more than enough for each of you.”

“I thought you’d never ask!” Tris giggled, and then she darted toward the staircase so quickly she could have left a cloud of smoke behind.

“I call dibs on the one closest to the window!” Todd exclaimed as he raised his hand. “It’s always best to have a nice draft goin’ when you’re slappin’ the salami. ‘Cold Turkey,’ is what I call it. Wanna know why?”

“I have never wanted to know something less in my life,” Eclipse sighed.

“It’s because it looks like I’m slapping around a fucking turkey neck,” the imp giggled. “Gobbler and everything.”

“Just … go upstairs,” the tattooed succubus groaned as she facepalmed.

“Ya don’t gotta tell me twice!” The imp grinned, and then he ran across the headquarters toward the stairs.

“I’m going to retire, as well,” Blagdan announced, and then he floated in the same direction.

“If it’s all good with you guys,” Invidia spoke up, “I think I’m gonna hang out down here with the Caliginis. They’re actually kinda cool to be around.”

“And I’m going to stay down here to watch her,” Deja added as she narrowed her eyes, “that doesn’t sound like normal Vidia. Like, at all.”

“It doesn’t,” Eclipse chuckled, “but I’m staying down here, too. I want to see if any of the fighters can train me on how to use my newfound black magic powers. The stronger I get, the easier our final battle against Beelzebub will be.”

“I can toast to that,” I chuckled and raised a fake glass, “but I think I’m going to bed.”

“Me too,” Inpulsa sighed. “I feel so exhausted, and we’ve barely done anything today.”

“I’m going that way too!” Ira purred as she grabbed one of the Darkfisks from Vidia’s plate. “Catch you all on the other siiiiiide!”

As we watched the Sister of Wrath dash off toward the stairs with glee, Inpulsa leaned into my ear.

“Let’s make sure we have a room far away from hers, okay?” she implored.

“‘We?’” I turned my head and grinned. “Are we planning to share?”

“Would you say ‘no’ if I wanted to?” Inpulsa purred.

“Is that even a question?” I shot back without missing a beat. “Let’s go rest up for a bit. They can have their fun down here, and we can have some fun upstairs.”

“Finally, something I can get behind.” The yellow-haired beauty smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“Well, guys,” I joked to the remaining succubi and Shadow People, “it’s been fun, but I think we’re gonna go recharge our batteries for a little bit.”

“Pun intended?” Eclipse said with a wink.

“I don’t know,” Inpulsa said as she snapped, and sparks danced from her fingers, “but I fully intend to let our king fill my meter back to full power, if you get my drift.”

Without another word, Inpulsa turned us back toward the staircase, and we rushed toward the second floor in a hurry. The two of us charged up the stairs, and the sound of our footsteps thundered down the hallway as we went.

The second floor was just as plain as the first. There was a long hallway with at least a dozen numbered doors on each side. Barren walls stretched between them as far as the eye could see, and the floor was made of the same shadowy wood that so many other structures in Umbra were made of.

The planks creaked underneath our steps as we made our way to one of the rooms on the left side of the hallway and knocked.

No answer.

“I guess this is as good as any.” Inpulsa smiled and then opened the door slowly.

Inside the room was a ratty mattress with handfuls of hay jutting out of each end and a blanket haphazardly tossed over its top. That was it.

No pictures. No decor. Not even a window or a desk.

“I guess this room’s purpose is pretty straightforward,” I observed, “only one thing you can use it for.”

“Two … ” the yellow-haired succubus purred as she kicked the door shut with the bottom of her foot.

Inpulsa walked over to me, wrapped her arms around my head, and stared deep into my eyes. Then she placed her head against my chest, began to kiss it, and lifted her left leg up into the air with gusto.

“Hold on,” I said firmly as I pulled the succubus’ head away from my body, “not that I would ever turn you down in a million years, but something’s been off with you ever since we got to Umbra.”

“Off?” Inpulsa turned her head, and then I felt her hand slowly begin to run down my torso. “Something’s about to be off in a minute here.”

“That’s what I mean,” I continued, “you’re usually the ‘don’t give a fuck, carefree’ one of the group, but you’ve been way more forward than usual.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” the succubus protested with a cocked eyebrow.

“We may have only been together for a few months now, Inpulsa,” I sighed, “but thanks to our special connection, I can read you like a book. Something’s bothering you. Are you gonna tell me what it is, or are we just gonna keep pretending for the rest of this quest?”

Inpulsa’s shadowy, purple eyes looked up at me intensely, but then they drooped into an expression of sorrow. The yellow-haired succubus removed her hands from my neck as she stepped back, crossed her arms over her chest, and sighed deeply.

“Fine,” she conceded, “something is up. I really didn’t want to tell you … and I really didn’t want to say anything in front of the rest of the team … ”

My hands were on the succubus’ soft cheeks instantly as I tried to comfort her.

“Tell me what’s going on,” I implored, “you know you can trust me.”

For the first time in our relationship, the usually hard-nosed Inpulsa looked like she was about to cry. She bit her lip firmly to keep it from quivering as tears welled up in her eyes, and she gripped my hands tightly.

“It’s just … I never thought I’d feel it again,” she whimpered, “not like this, at least.”

“Feel what?”

The yellow-haired succubus stared me down and shook her head.

“Fear,” she explained. “I haven’t felt fear, true fear, since I killed my last pimp.”

“Whoa,” I gasped, “you killed your pimp? Isn’t that, like, a major transgression for succubi?”

“That’s an understatement,” Inpulsa sighed, “it wasn’t even on purpose, either. He was just being a total asshat to me and my Sisters, and I wanted to show him we were done taking his abuse. I was just trying to give him a little shock, but I overdid it and ended up frying him to a crisp. I was terrified Belphegor was going to have my head for it, so I went into hiding in the Third Circle, down in the tunnels where the Devil Worms dwell.”

“Shit,” I whistled, “did he ever find you?”

“He sure did,” the yellow-haired succubus continued, “Eclipse brought him straight to me. But he wasn’t mad. In fact, he thought it was hilarious.”

“Huh,” I noted, “I guess I never really took Belphegor for a demon with a sense of humor. Actually, I have no idea what Belphegor is like. I’ve never met the guy, and stories about him seem to be pretty scarce around here.”

“That’s because he’s what I like to call a ‘tag-along,’” Inpulsa growled, “he doesn’t really have any accomplishments of his own, but he’s brilliant at allying himself with those who will elevate him. It’s how he got to be King of the Third Circle as well as how he’s been able to keep control for so long.”

“But then why is your fear back?” I questioned. “We’re in a safe place, surrounded by allies. And any enemies we’ve encountered so far have been pretty easy to kill.”

“It’s not our circumstances, Jacob … ” Inpulsa explained as she walked over and plopped down on the bed. “It’s just … this place. I can’t shake the feeling there’s this dark cloud hanging over me at all times, and there’s just something about it that makes me feel helpless. I’ve never felt helpless before, not even when I was at the mercy of my pimp!”

I followed the succubus over to the bed, sat down beside her, and touched her shoulder longingly.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” I reassured her. “If all goes as planned tomorrow, the Shadow People will be on our side. Even better than that … they’ll be under my command. Once that happens, there’ll be nothing to be afraid of. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to take up residence in this place. My home is the Fourth Circle, as is yours. The only time we’ll be going through this place is when we need to move our armies discreetly, and nothing more.”

“You don’t have to do that for me,” Inpulsa chuckled through her somberness. “In fact, I actually do feel much safer when I’m here with you. That’s why I’ve been so forthcoming lately. I thought maybe if we laid together, it would eradicate my fears … ”

I raised my eyebrows at the succubus and gave her a hearty smile.

“Well, I’m no scientist, but I’m more than willing to test that hypothesis.” I winked. “If you think it’ll make you feel better, then who am I to keep you from your goal?”

Inpulsa shot me a sarcastic smirk, and then she shook her head with amusement. Then I noticed her soft hand trailing slowly up the cuisse of my armor, and my dick began to throb with anticipation.

“We’ll never find out if we don’t try,” the yellow-haired beauty giggled as she unfastened the straps of the cuisse on my right thigh.

I reached down to assist the succubus with her cause, and we both removed my armor, piece-by-piece. The greaves came off next, followed by the boots, and then the gauntlets. Finally, Inpulsa undid the straps of my breastplate, pulled it off my body, and tossed it to the floor nonchalantly.

Then she bent in to go for the kiss, but I stopped her with the wag of my finger.

“What about you?” I teased as I motioned to her battle attire. “If we start to get all hot and heavy in that, I might lose an eye. Or worse.”

I was only partially joking.

Inpulsa’s armor was made up completely of skin-tight black leather with stiletto boots and rubber gloves. What made me concerned for my safety, however, were the dozens and dozens of tiny metal studs that sat atop the leathery garment. They were there to equally distribute the succubus’ electric magic through her body, but today they were nothing but a barrier between me and the treasure that laid underneath.

“Why don’t you come over here and do something about it, then?” Inpulsa purred.

I pulled myself closer to the yellow-haired beauty as she lifted up her leg onto mine. I pulled off her boots seductively before I made my way toward the buttons on her torso. Then I slowly unfastened the tiny metal hooks and began to reveal the succubus’ beautiful body underneath.

As I went down her chest, Inpulsa’s perky breasts pressed together against the tight leather to form a massive line of cleavage. Once her blouse was all the way unbuttoned, her armor clung to her body loosely like a shawl. Finally, the succubus shrugged her shoulders, and the leather garment fell away.

My cock went rock hard instantly as Inpulsa’s perky B-cups jiggled against her body, and her large, pale nipples stood to attention.

“You gonna stare, or are you gonna help me get the rest off?” Inpulsa begged jokingly.

I shook myself out of my trance, bent over, and placed my hands on the waist of Inpulsa’s pants. Her body quivered slightly as I pulled the leather garment down and exposed her delicate slit to air. The junction of her thighs was bare and already sopping wet, and I felt my dick begin to ache with anticipation.

“Holy fuck!” Inpulsa gasped as she glanced down at the erection held back only by a thin layer of fabric.

Without another word, the succubus licked her lips hungrily, sat up onto her knees, and began to fumble with my belt. My cock nearly hit her in the face as it was released from its fabric prison, and Inpulsa stared at it longingly.

“Careful with that thing,” I warned, “it’s a loaded weapon.”

“And I’m gonna make it go off,” Inpulsa purred, “multiple times, I hope.”

The yellow haired beauty took my rock-hard cock in her hands and then delicately licked the precum off with her tongue. She continued to swirl the end of her tongue around the tip of manhood as I felt even more of the preparatory juices squeeze through my dick and into her mouth.

“Careful,” I moaned, “you don’t wanna fill up on the appetizer.”

Inpulsa’s beautiful purple eyes gave me a playful glare, but she didn’t seem to heed my warning. In fact, my taunt just made her go even harder.

Suddenly, I felt a strange, tingling sensation on my dick. It kinda tickled, but it also felt incredibly great at the same time. In fact, it felt so fucking good my legs began to involuntarily shake.

“Are you … using electric magic on my dick?” I gasped.

Inpulsa looked up at me with her deep violet eyes and winked. Then, in one motion, she pushed her mouth down onto the shaft of my cock. Inpulsa was on all fours next to me on the bed, with her tight little ass up in the air as high as it could go.

I threw back my head and let out a deep moan of excitement as the succubus went deeper, and the sensation grew more intense. As my lover started to bob up and down on my manhood, I reached over and gave her ass a playful smack.

Inpulsa let out a muffled moan at the gesture, and then she became even more determined. The yellow-haired beauty rubbed at my balls with one hand while she opened her mouth as wide as it could go and then forced me all the way into her throat.

My balls tightened as the warm coil in my abdomen started to wind up for the release. However, Inpulsa wasn’t done with me yet.

I squeezed her tight ass in my hand one more time before I allowed my fingers to explore down to her warm mound. Then I extended two of my fingers and slid them into her as deep as I could go.

Inpulsa was super wet, and her tight tunnel quivered around my fingers as I glided them in and out of her womanhood. The succubus moaned gleefully as we both continued to pleasure each other in unison.

But then she made the move that sent me over the edge.

Inpulsa shoved my cock all the way into her throat, squeezed my balls tightly, and then summoned just a bit of electricity into her body.

All three actions hit me at the same time like a freight train of pleasure, and I felt my entire body tremble as I went over the side of the cliff.

“Ohhharrghhh!” I used my free hand to grip Inpulsa’s hair tightly as I sprayed my cum into her mouth. I orgasmed for a full thirty seconds, straight down the succubus’ throat. When I was finally done, Inpulsa slowly slid her lips off my cock, gave it a little kiss, and then turned her head to face me.

“How’d I do?” She smirked as she held my half-mast in her hand playfully. “Did that totally rock your world? I was waiting until we had a session all alone to try it.”

I gave Inpulsa’s little ass another smack, and then I laid back in the bed.

“I-I don’t even know what to say,” I panted. “That was one of the most intensely pleasurable sensations I’ve ever experienced.”

Inpulsa laid down next to me and playfully tugged my shirt off my torso. Then she leaned in and sucked on my neck tenderly while she ran her hand all around my abs. Her touch was soft and sensual, and her naked breasts were pressed up against my body as tightly as possible.

Slowly, but surely, I felt my erection returning.

“Slow and steady wins the race,” Inpulsa giggled, “and by ‘winning the race’ I mean ‘getting that hog back to full mast so it can fuck my brains out.’”

Damn. Maybe it was just because this was the first time I’d slept with Inpulsa one-on-on, but I never realized she was so good at dirty talking.

It was working like a fucking charm, too. The sensual words of the succubus had gotten me back to full mast, and my dick stood at attention like a clock hand at noon.

Inpulsa let out a moan of excitement, and then she quickly crawled over on all fours and took my cock in her hand.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “Isn’t it your turn?”

“Oh, it is,” she cooed, “I’m just giving you some time to relax first.”

The yellow-haired succubus lifted her leg over my thigh, positioned herself above my erection, and then slowly lowered herself down onto it. She let out a whimper of excitement as her tight pussy lips surrounded my dick, and then her eyes rolled back in her head as I bottomed out inside of her.

Inpulsa leaned backward so her perky tits were on full display, and then she started to rock her hips up and down. Her breasts bounced in unison with her body as she pleasured me, and I couldn’t help but grasp her firm thighs as tightly as I could.

Fuck it. I may have still been shaky from the way Inpulsa had rocked my world, but I wasn’t going to let her have all the fun.

I sat up, wrapped my arms around the succubus’ body, and then began to thrust my hips in time with hers. My cock glided in and out of her with perfect rhythm, and our moans of pleasure tangled together into one.

“Oh, Jacob!” Inpulsa nearly screamed as she dug her fingers tightly into my back.

The succubus’ tight tunnel was a monsoon as we made love, and I could tell she was getting close to the edge.

Now, it was just up to me to get her there.

I let her come down on me one last time, and then I held her in place tightly. The tip of my cock pressed gently against her cervix, and her entire body tensed up with excitement. Then I picked her up, turned her around, and put her stomach-side down against the bed.

Inpulsa let out a gasp of surprise, but still went along with it. She just laid her face into the pillow, arched her back, and raised her ass into the air.

I stared at her cute little butt intensely as I pulled myself to my knees, grabbed the succubus around the waist, and then slid myself back inside of her.

Both of us tensed up at this new position. Inpulsa was so tight it felt like I was trying to squeeze a sausage into a pair of pantyhose, and my eyes involuntarily rolled back in my head as her tunnel quivered around my cock. Finally, I bottomed out inside of the yellow-haired beauty, and that was where the real fun began.

I began to pound her as hard as I possibly could, and Inpulsa responded with resounding enthusiasm.

“Holy fuck, yes!” she gasped as she gripped the blanket on the bed intensely.

Every minute or two, I would slow my pace to keep her going. I would pull myself out of the electric succubus, press the tip of my dick against her entrance, and then push myself back inside with a dull thrust.

Each time, Inpulsa threw her face into the pillow and let out a moan that probably would have been eardrum-shattering had she not been muffled.

I alternated between the soft, slow thrusts and the jackhammering that made even her tiny, tight ass jiggle from the impact. Finally, I felt Inpulsa’s tunnel tightening and spasming around me, and I knew she was close to the end.

I quickened my pace, and that’s when the succubus’ body went rigid.

“Mmmuuuhhhpppfff!” She slammed her face into the pillow, gripped the bed as tightly as she could, and arched her back as she let out a deep, powerful moan.

“Hmmm,” I growled, and the sight and sound of our passion drove me over the edge once more.

I pushed in as deep as I could go, let my body tense, and filled Inpulsa’s tight body with a literal geyser of seed.

Our climaxes lasted us a good half minute, but when we had both settled down, I took a deep breath, slid myself out of her flooded pussy, and plopped down on the pillow beside the succubus.

Meanwhile, Inpulsa just dropped herself straight down onto her stomach.

“Damn, that was good,” she sighed as she reached back to touch some of the cum leaking out of her swollen pussy lips, “almost better than when we all did the ceremony.”

“What can I say?” I joked. “I had to split my talents between four of you when we did that. Here, it was just me and you.”

“I’m a really fucking lucky girl,” she giggled, licked the cum off her fingers, and then looked at me longingly. “Holy shit, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I need a cigarette.”

“That’s a first,” I chuckled and ran my hand along the small of her back, “fucking somebody so hard they turn into a smoker.”

I rolled over onto my side, pulled Inpulsa in close, and then kissed her softly on the cheek.

“I think I can say my fears are officially gone,” the yellow-haired beauty admitted. “When I’m with you, Jacob, I feel like I can take on the world.”

“Good,” I nodded back as I stared up at the ceiling, “because over the next few days, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. First comes Tenebris, then Beelzebub. And after that … Who fucking knows? We may as well be taking on the whole world.”

“But first, Tenebris,” Inpulsa reminded me. “Don’t get too far ahead of yourself, King Ralston.”

That was right. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. If all went as planned, Tenebris would be killed, and I would finally have the ace in the hole I needed to invade the Eighth Circle of Hell.

Tomorrow, we were going to depose a despot.

Chapter 10

The next thing I knew, I heard the loud sound of thumping against my door, accompanied by Todd’s voice making a bugle wake up call.

“Bro!” Todd called out as his tiny hands knocked. “You gotta wake up, Jakey. Come on, I spent like, three hours wanking and hotboxing last night, and I still got up at a decent hour. Don’t make me come in there and jump on the bed like a fucking Toddler, bro. Because I totally will.”

“He really never shuts up, does he?” Inpulsa sighed as she rubbed her hand through her yellow hair groggily.

“It’s one of his quirks,” I retorted, “and one of his annoyances. It’s about as random as a coin flip.”

“Wakey, wakey, Jakey!” Todd called out. “We got places to go, people to kill, and babes to fuck. Well, you just got done doing that, but still … ”

“We’ll be out in a minute, Todd,” I grumbled as I sat up and looked around for my pants. “I’ve got to put all my armor and shit back on.”

“Ugh, you’re still doing it without your armor? Laaaaaaammmmme,” Todd snickered. “If I had a badass suit of armor like you did, I’d just cut a hole in the codpiece and fuck all the bitches while I was wearing it. Seeing my massive schlong dangling in the wind would probably intimidate my enemies, too … ”

“We’ll be out in a minute,” I reiterated as I hoped the imp would take the hint. “Why don’t you go round up the others?”

“Round ‘em up?” he asked. “They’re already all down there and ready to go. They’re waiting for you guys, bro. Except for Crazy Eyes … Nobody’s seen her since last night. Actually, come to think of it, I should probably go and check on her to make sure she didn’t accidentally ingest too much of that poison or something. Be right back, bro!”

I just chuckled amusedly as I stood up and walked over to my armor. I tugged my fabric clothing back onto my body first, and then I got to work on the various pieces of Hellfire-forged metal that would protect me from enemy weapons.

As I strapped on my cuisses and grieves, Inpulsa was trying to squeeze herself back into her skin-tight leather suit.

“Ugh,” she grumbled, “why is your armor so much more practical than mine?”

“Don’t feel bad,” I reassured her, “Todd once told me the skimpier the armor, the more powerful it really is.”

“Is that true?” she asked as she finally got her pants back on over her ass. “Or is that just another Toddism?”

“Well, if Eligor is any indication, I’d say it’s true,” I laughed. “That stuff she wears barely counts as a bikini, let alone armor.”

Inpulsa pulled her blouse back over her shoulders, covered up her pale nipples, and then attempted to fasten it back together. She appeared to be failing at first, until she took a deep breath in, held it, and quickly fastened the buttons while she was skinnier.

“Whew,” she panted, “so much more convenient. Here, let me help you with that.”

The yellow-haired succubus walked over, picked up my breastplate, and then pulled it up against my torso. As she fastened the leather straps, I could sense a different sort of feeling in the room. There wasn’t tension like before. Rather, it was a different feeling.

Relief.

All of the worries and fears of Inpulsa seemed to be gone, disappeared like a handful of dust on a windy day.

I guess that was “the power of my penis,” as Todd liked to call it.

Finally, once we were both fully dressed, we headed out the door and back down to the main area of the Shining Alliance headquarters. Zilla, Blagdan, and all of our succubi, including Todd and Ira, were huddled together in a small group when we arrived.

“Good news, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed when he saw us approach. “Crazy Eyes wasn’t dead, she was just tied to the bed and couldn’t move!”

“Who tied you to the bed?” I asked the Sister of Wrath with a raised eyebrow.

“I did, of course,” Ira cooed. “Did you really think I was going to do fun times with toxins without splitting into my two halves? I just got tired, and I must have accidentally activated my mirror powers when I dozed off. Oh well, Todd was there to free me, at least.”

“Yeah,” the imp shuddered, “I saw some shit in there that I’d like to wipe clean from my memory forever. Like, straight-up take bleach and pour it into my eyes, bro.”

“I’m just glad to see you’re awake,” Zilla nodded, “The Shining Alliance was starting to worry you had gotten cold feet.”

“Cold feet? Jacob?” Invidia scoffed. “King Ralston doesn’t even understand the meaning of those words.”

“He wouldn’t be the first of our ‘saviors’ to back out at the last minute,” Zilla shrugged, “that’s how we lost our last great general.”

“We’re not gonna lose anybody this time,” I reassured the group, “our plan is pretty foolproof, especially if Tenebris acts like you think he will. Does anyone need me to go over it again?”

“Uh, I totally don’t,” Todd raised his hand, and then he pointed to a random Shadow Person across the room, “but Johnny over there was out with the flu the first time you told it, sooooo … ”

“My name is Armad…” the Shadow Person protested, but Todd cut him off.

“Like he said, bro,” the imp repeated, “Jack in the back needs to hear it one more time.”

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes and turned to address the group, “here’s how it’s gonna go down. There are two strike teams. One of them will charge into the Playhouse when Tenebris is there and clash with his guards. Then, when he and his two most loyal henchmen run away, Deja, Zilla, Inpulsa, and I will ambush him in the back alley. Deja will use her foresight powers, I’ll hit him with the toxin-coated sword, and voila! No more Tenebris. Somebody coated my sword with the Darkfisk venom, right?”

“Right here, King Ralston,” one of the Shadow People explained as he floated forward with the Unhallowed Sword still in its sheath.

He held the weapon out in front of him as he bowed regally, and I took it from his grasp. As I wrapped it back around my waist, Blagdan offered me a word of advice.

“I must warn you, King Ralston,” the general explained, “my men glazed the entire blade with the toxins, so proceed with caution. One wrong move … even a cut as slim as a papercut, and you’re dead.”

“Don’t worry,” I promised the Shadow Person, “I won’t even unsheathe the thing until Tenebris is within my striking distance. How long do I have to worry about the toxins being active?”

“It depends on how deep you thrust your sword,” Zilla explained. “Once the Darkfisk toxin touches blood, it ejects its entire payload into the body. If you were to say, skewer Tenebris clean through, it would all be gone the second you pulled the weapon out.”

“Ejects the whole payload after one penetration, eh?” Todd snickered. “Sounds like me in high school.”

I shot the imp a dirty look, but the severity of the situation didn’t seem to be sinking in for him. As I picked up the Unhallowed Sword and slid it back into its sheath, I noticed it now had a dark, purple sheen.

So, that’s what Darkfisk toxin actually looked like.

“How long do we have before Tenebris shows up at the Playhouse?” I asked aloud. “I want to make sure we’re in position well before that fucker gets into his seat.”

“It’s almost time,” Blagdan nodded, “if you wish, King Ralston, we shall proceed.”

“Then proceed we shall,” I stated calmly. “Before we head out, does anyone have any questions? We all know our roles, right?”

“I’m gonna fake a coma,” Tris suggested, “minimal effort, maximum panic.”

“Uhhh,” I sighed, “don’t you think you could be doing something a bit more… active?”

Tris frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You said ‘create a distraction,’” she implored. “You never said they had to be active distractions.”

“I do have one question,” Ira raised her hand, “I know I’m in the ‘distraction’ group, but how much of a distraction do I need to be? Like, do you just want me to go in with the rest of the group, rough the guards up a bit with my weapons, and then keep them preoccupied? Or do you want me to pull out all the stops and make a real distraction? Because if I do that, I have to warn you that it might get … a little weird.”

“Uhhhh, whatever you think works best,” I shrugged, “I give you complete free reign on that one, just as long as you can keep the guards occupied while we kill the king.”

Ira’s violet eyes shone with glee as she bounced up and down happily. Then the Sister of Wrath held up her finger and dashed off toward the stairs.

“Let me just go get my tool kit!” she giggled over her shoulder. “It’s got all the essentials. Cat of nine tails … extra Darkfisk spines … extra-tight rope … ”

“That Demon Lord of yours is quite strange,” Zilla noted, “is she alright? Like, fully there in the head?”

“Look, Godzilla,” Todd said as he patted the Shadow Queen’s leg, “I like to think she’s totally normal, just quirky. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with having a kink, ya know? But then my mind goes back to that time I walked in on her and Jakey … ”

“Again, I’m sorry for that,” I apologized, “we totally should have locked the door.”

“Why are you sorry?” The imp shuddered. “I saw what she was doing to your one-eyed monster. I’m just happy we didn’t have to rush you to Strawberry Shortcake for some emergency healing!”

“That wouldn’t have been necessary,” I explained as I felt a hot blush crawling up my face. “Ira had the healing covered.”

Todd scrunched his face into a look of confusion and turned his head.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “I thought Crazy Eyes could only heal the things inside her own body oooooooooooh my gooooooooooddddddddd.”

The imp’s expression turned to horror as he realized the implication of what I’d said, and he began to shake his head as he gagged intensely.

As Todd was making his wild, over-the-top gestures, Ira returned. Now, the succubus had a comically-large tool belt attached to her waist, filled with goodies that would inflict both pain and pleasure on her body.

“I love the accessories, Sister,” Deja chuckled, “where can I get one of those?”

“Ariel made it for me,” Ira said as she put her hands on her hips and held her head high. “I’m sure she could make one for you, too. We all certainly have enough accessories we carry around.”

“Speak for yourself, Crazy Eyes,” Todd scoffed as his demeanor returned to normal. “There isn’t anything that can contain the tool I’m packin’! Besides, I’d look like a total dweeb wearing one of those. I’m not Tim the fucking Toolman Taylor.”

“Who?” Ira questioned. “Is that somebody I should know?”

“Oh, come on, Crazy Eyes!” Todd threw his hands up in frustration, quirked his eyebrows, and then made the infamous “uuuueeeghhh?” sound.

Ira just pursed her lips and shook her head.

“Nope,” she admitted, “still not ringing a bell.”

“Uncultured, all of ya,” the imp grumbled as he began to walk toward the door and then looked back at the group, “come on, Tinnitus isn’t gonna kill himself.”

“You heard the imp,” I chuckled and motioned to the rest of the team, “we’ve got a Shadow King to kill.”

“Ugh,” Zilla growled, “don’t call him that. I’m the only true ruler around here. What that armored bastard does is just about the furthest thing from ‘ruling’ that I can think of.”

“We’ve already decided on Shadow King,” Tris scoffed, “this dude’s got way too many names as it is.”

Our strike team walked over to the secret entrance of the headquarters, Blagdan said the magic words, and then we all passed through the wall.

“Hold on,” I pondered aloud, “the whole city is on high alert, right? How are we going to get all the way to the Playhouse without getting caught?”

“We’re already on it, my king,” Eclipse said with a coy smile. “Todd, would you like to explain?”

“Oh, it was nothing,” the imp mused, “let me just find ‘em here … ”

We watched curiously as the imp fumbled around in his pockets for a moment. He pulled out several items, including an XL condom, a half-eaten candy bar, and a Hulk Hogan rubber ducky keychain, before he found what he was looking for.

Finally, the imp produced a bunch of small, individually-wrapped packages. He handed them out to the girls and me, and then he unwrapped one for himself.

I watched as Todd unfolded the small black square, held out a cheap tablecloth in front of his body, and sliced two holes into it with his claws. Then the imp tossed it over his figure, lined the holes up with his eyes, and held up his hands in victory.

“What?” was all I could mutter.

“Tadaaa!” the imp cackled. “It’s the perfect disguise, bro. Now, we’ll totally blend in with the rest of the Caligneramuses down here.”

Eclipse, Deja, Ira, Invidia, and Inpulsa all followed the imp’s lead. They cut out eyeholes, slipped the tablecloths over their bodies, and then looked at each other curiously.

“There’s no way that’s going to work,” I guffawed, “you all look like ghosts in a low-budget student film. Fuck, I actually think the student film might have more convincing special effects … ”

“Ye have little faith, Jakey,” Todd scoffed, “I know they’re not the most detailed disguises, but we totally look like Shadow People from a distance. Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna be interacting with a ton of people on our way to the Playhouse, anyway. If anyone looks our way we just smile, nod, and walk past ‘em as quickly as we can.”

“I’m inclined to side with the imp on this one,” Zilla admitted. “The disguises are abysmal, but do you know what’s even worse? Walking around Umbra when you’re a wanted man, and sticking out like a sore thumb when you do it. Todd’s right … these might not be the best disguises, but at least we might get through the town without anyone sounding the alarm.”

“Can’t you just turn us invisible?” I asked the imp in desperation.

“No can do, Jakey,” he shrugged, “Godzilla over there says Shad--er, Caliginisuses can see through that kind of enchantment.”

“Alright, fine,” I sighed as I began to unwrap the crinkly plastic of the tablecloth, “but just for the record, I still don’t think this is gonna work.”

I unfolded the dark plastic fabric, held it up in my left hand, and then drew my goat-headed dagger. The first eyehole cut cleanly, but my blade caught the second one at an angle and caused it to tear awkwardly in a vertical line.

Oh well. It wasn’t like this was an elaborate costume, anyway.

I threw the sheet over my head, adjusted the eye holes so I could see peripherally, and then made sarcastic jazz hands underneath the sheet.

“Whoa,” Invidia joked, “who’s this handsome Caliginis, and what did he do with Jacob?”

“Very funny,” I rolled my eyes, “now, let’s get a move on. The quicker we get to the Playhouse, the less chance there is of somebody recognizing us.”

Zilla and Blagdan led the way down the alleyway and out onto the cobblestone and wood streets of Umbra. There was only the occasional Shadow Person out on their porch or tending to their windows in this part of town, and none of them paid us any mind.

The real test would happen when we got to the crowded area of the town square.

Meanwhile, the succubi, Todd, and I all tried to blend in as best as we possibly could. We tried to walk as lightly as we could in short, quick steps to give the illusion that we were floating. At the same time, we kept our bodies completely rigid. Our arms, torsos, and heads remained completely still and at attention as we sauntered through the city.

At one point, Todd offered to give us all glowing red eyes via his Hellfire, but we politely declined. Mostly because we didn’t want to set ourselves on fire.

My heart beat like a bass drum as we came to the town square. Blagdan’s estimate or Tenebris’ arrival must have been spot on, because it wasn’t anywhere near as desolate as it was before. There must have been hundreds of Shadow People gathered around, all of them heading toward the Playhouse to see and entertain their glorious leader.

“What’s the plan from here, Jacob?” Eclipse questioned. “Do you want us to follow the crowd?”

“The top of the dome is open, right?” I asked the two Shadow People on our team.

“That is correct,” Zilla nodded, “but it is surely guarded by Tenebris’ men.”

“Then that’s where we’ll set up shop,” I plotted. “The distraction team can mingle with the crowd. The rest of us will take out the guards up there and watch the chaos unfold from above. Then, once we see the king take off, we’ll intercept him in the alleyway.”

“Ughhhhh,” Invidia sighed, “do we really have to go into a building with that many people?”

“Hey,” Tris interjected, “at least we’ll get to sit in some nice, comfy seats for a little bit before we have to get to work.”

“What shall be the signal?” Ira questioned. “Or is that something you want us to use our discretion for, as well?”

“Oh, oh!” the small, blanketed imp said as he jumped up and down. “How about ‘Deeaaaaattttthhhhh! Deeeaaaaatttthhhhh?’ It totally worked for the Riders of Rohan.”

“Maybe we should go with something a little more … subtle?” Eclipse suggested.

“Fine, fine,” the imp sighed, “how about ‘At my signal, unleash Hell?’”

“Fitting, but still no,” I retorted, “why don’t you just say something like--”

“Snuff out the darkness,” Blagdan interjected. “That is the battle cry of the Shining Alliance.”

“That’s fucking badass, bro,” Todd whistled, “I’m totally stealing that.”

“It’s not really stealing when I’m the one who suggested it,” the Shadow Person reiterated.

“I’m using it, and that’s final.” The imp crossed his arms and let out a “hmmph.”

“Just make sure we do it before the fool Caliban comes on stage,” Blagdan warned, “Tenebris usually cuts out when he shows up. Mostly because he absolutely hates his guts and his sense of humor.”

“If he thinks the dude’s obnoxious,” Tris suggested, “why doesn’t he just, ya know … ”

The Sister of Sloth raised her index finger up to her throat and made a slicing motion and a gory sound.

“Because,” Zilla explained, “Tenebris might be ruthless, but he’s not an idiot. If he just went around killing his citizens left and right, there’d be a revolution. He only kills those who have committed treason.”

“And if he catches either of us here, we’ll be the next ones on his list,” Blagdan said grimly. “I still think it was a bad idea for you to come along, my queen.”

Zilla turned to Blagdan and placed her lanky arm against his shoulder.

“What kind of a leader would I be if I sent my best general into battle all by himself?” she mused. “If you fall today, old friend, then I will fall with you. But we’re not going to. I believe in Jacob Ralston, the Nephilim who bested not only one, but three Demon Kings in combat. He will finally lead us to freedom, my friend.”

Blagdan nodded slowly, and his red orbs turned upward with sadness.

“Godspeed, my queen,” he sighed, and then looked over at me with narrowed eyes. “Take care of her, King Ralston. If this doesn’t work, the Shining Alliance as we know it may be dead.”

No pressure.

“I will,” I reassured the Shadow Man. “Good luck. We’ll be watching you from above.”

“Snuff out the darkness,” Blagdan whispered to his queen.

“Snuff out the darkness,” Zilla returned, “now go, my friend. Destiny awaits.”

“Uh, bye, Jakey,” Todd faltered, “I’m totally not doing the bromance speech with you, just FYI.”

“I figured,” I laughed. “We’ll see you guys in a bit, once this is all over.”

I watched as Invidia, Ira, Todd, Blagdan, Tris, and Eclipse floated off toward the crowd entering the Playhouse.

Once they were safely integrated into the rest of the Shadow People, I turned back to the rest of the squad.

“Well, guys,” I sighed, “it’s now or never. Who’s ready to go airborne?”

Chapter 11

This was about as simple of a plan as there could be.

Deja, Inpulsa, Zilla, and I would watch from above while the rest of the team caused a major scene in the Playhouse. Once the Shadow King and his guards fled out the back of the building, we would swoop down and take them all out once and for all. With Deja’s foresight abilities, and my toxin-covered sword, it would only take one hit to kill this fucker.

What could possibly go wrong?

Knowing how most of our adventures went, I ventured the answer was “a lot,” but I wasn’t going to worry about that right now.

Now, it was showtime.

Still clad in our ridiculous black tablecloths, the four of us snuck back around the building and into the alleyway where we planned to do the deed.

“Finally, we can take these things off,” Deja made a joking gagging sound as she pulled off the cloth and tossed it onto the ground, “Pacsun’s always been more my style, anyway.”

The rest of us tossed off the tablecloths, and then the two succubi both summoned their massive, bat-like wings. They both floated up into the air, but then they looked down at us with confusion on their faces.

I threw my hands out to the side in an attempt to communicate, but it took Inpulsa and Deja a moment to figure out what I was trying to say.

“I always forget you don’t have wings,” Inpulsa mused.

“No wings?” Zilla gasped. “I thought all Demon Kings had wings?”

“I’ve got horns sometimes,” I shrugged, “but no wings. And that can’t be true. There’s not a pair of wings in the world that would be big enough to carry Mammon around.”

“What about you, Zilla?” Deja questioned. “Don’t you have like, creepy levitating powers you can use to get up here or something?”

“You think my powers are creepy?” Zilla cooed.

“Just a little,” the Valley-girl succubus shrugged from above, “I mean, no offense, but you are basically a disembodied figure made up of shadows or black fog or … whatever it is you’re made out of. Plus the glowing red eyes and fangs. I mean, I totally like you and all, but you can look a little intimidating. That’s all.”

A devilish, toothy grin spread across the Shadow Queen’s amorphous face.

“Good,” she mused, “but unfortunately no, I do not have flying abilities. I will require some assistance.”

Deja floated down, picked up Zilla in her arms like a new bride, and took off toward the sky.

“Taxi?” I joked at Inpulsa, but she just crossed her arms.

“Taxi?” she grumbled. “Because of the hair? You’re too young for Dad jokes, Jacob.”

“I gotta work with what you give me,” I shrugged, “so far, that’s mostly been your traits and the great sex. And I will never, ever poke fun at great sex.”

“Har, har,” the succubus sighed as she swooped down and wrapped her arms underneath my armpits, “maybe you should be in there trying to entertain Tenebris.”

Inpulsa gave a heave, and then we were both airborne.

It was strange. Here in the Shadow World, there wasn’t any sort of wind. I was used to the brisk, cool wind brushing past my face whenever I flew with the succubi. Even in Hell, there was still wind, it was just a lot hotter and a bit more sulfury, but here, nada.

We rose up above the edge of the Playhouse roof, and Inpulsa instantly let me go. My metal boots landed on the angular wooden roof with a loud thud, and my entire body went rigid.

“Relax, King Ralston,” Zilla reassured me, “by now, the entire audience will be inside. They’ll be making so much ruckus, they wouldn’t even be able to hear a Rapha Beast thundering around up here.”

“I wanna know how Cupi and Liby do it,” Inpulsa panted, “that armor is way heavier than it looks.”

“I guess we’re just used to touching Jacob’s body when it’s a little less clothed,” Deja giggled.

My heart fluttered as my trousers became just a tad bit tighter at the memories of these two women. I glanced over at Zilla, saw she was completely stone-faced, and then awkwardly cleared my throat to try and get back on track.

“What?” Zilla said as she quirked her head. “You don’t need to feel ashamed for sleeping with your underlings. You’re a Demon King … that’s practically a requirement for royalty.”

“Even you?” Deja questioned.

“The Caliginis are asexual,” Zilla shrugged, “we can’t breed, so we don’t see the need to fornicate like you demons and humans do. But that’s neither here nor there. The court should be starting here shortly, and we need to get into position.”

As the four of us moved in closer to the edge of the hole in the center of the roof, I could see what Zilla was talking about. The chatter of the crowd inside was so intense that it vibrated the roof underneath our feet and droned so loud it was hard to even think.

Down in the Playhouse below, there was row after row of wooden pews like those you’d find in a church. Each one was packed with the lanky bodies of the Shadow People, and their long arms were splayed out comically in front of themselves. Some of the Caliginis rested their appendages on the backs of the pews in front of them, while others let them hang down to the side, where they dangled down and touched the floor.

Seeing the dark, trunk-like arms rested against the floor while their abnormally short legs jutted up into the air like a baby’s was enough to make me chuckle.

Meanwhile, at the far end of the Playhouse sat a long, rectangular table with seven seats. In the dead-center of the table sat a shadowy chair with a winged back, and it stood nearly two feet above the rest. Just to add to the self-righteousness of the situation, the top of the chair back was shaped to look like a three-pointed crown.

That must have been where Tenebris sat.

“Do you see the ground team?” Inpulsa questioned. “Because all I’m seeing is a sea of black and red.”

“Damn,” I whistled as I scanned the crowd, “maybe those disguises worked way better than I thought they would.”

“Or Tenebris’ men already caught them,” Zilla suggested, “if that’s the case, our mission is lost before it can even begin.”

“They didn’t catch my people,” I shot back, “even if they tried to take them in, they wouldn’t go down without a fight. We’d have heard the commotion.”

“King Ralston,” Zilla protested, “no offense, but I’m the Queen of the Caliginis. I’ve interacted with my subjects for several millennia. We’ve fought together, dined together, celebrated together … I know what my people look like, and I could see through those disguises a mile away. Our team isn’t in there, plain and simple. I think we maybe should--”

“There they are!” Deja celebrated as she pointed down into the crowd. “See that one who’s waving at us? That’s totally Todd!”

I squinted my eyes and looked in the direction of the succubus’ motion. Sure enough, about three rows away from the stage sat a Shadow Person who was smaller than everyone else around him, and a tiny, red, clawed hand jutted out from underneath the disguise and waved up at us frantically. Right next to him were four more figures who were all making “stop it” motions.

Yup, that was Todd and the succubi, alright.

I assumed Blagdan was sitting next to the group, too, but I realized I couldn’t differentiate him from the rest of the Shadow People in the crowd.

I waved to acknowledge Todd, but then did a “cut it out” signal.

The imp’s hand gave me an “okay” gesture before it slid back underneath his tablecloth like a sunburnt snake.

“Do you think they’ll be able to create a good enough distraction?” Zilla asked as she stared down into the crowd.

“Are you kidding?” I laughed. “Todd could distract a stone statue. Throw in Invidia’s ‘I hate people’ attitude, Eclipse’s sassiness, and Ira’s quirky kinks, and I think we might just gain the attention of the entire Shadow World.”

“Let’s hope so,” the Shadow Queen sighed.

Suddenly, the jabbering below went silent. Then the white noise that characterized the Shadow World was the only thing we could hear as we watched seven of the armored Caliginis guards make their way out of a door just to the right of the table.

“I thought you said there were only two entrances?” I whispered.

“There are,” Zilla confirmed, “Tenebris likes to get here before everyone else, sit around backstage, and then make his grand entrance in front of all of his people. He’s pompous like that.”

“Yeah,” I snorted, “the crown-chair kinda told me as much.”

The seventh and final guard exited the door, walked over to the closest empty seat, and stood behind it like the rest of his brethren. Then all of the guards turned back to the entryway and held up their arms in a salute, and as if right on cue, the rest of the crowd followed suit.

Each Shadow Person flattened their hands, crossed one over the other horizontally, and formed a “T” shape.

“For Tenebris?” Inpulsa rolled her eyes, and Zilla confirmed with a nod.

Finally, I got to see the fucker everyone’s been talking about.

Tenebris stepped out of the doorway and strutted about with his head held high. The Shadow King’s armor was distinctly different than any of his guards’, with pauldrons that stuck out nearly double his body width and hooked like a witch’s finger. His head took the shape of his helmet, which was completed by two small horns jutting out of the side and a tiny, spiny nub at the very crown of his noggin. To top it all off, the Shadow King didn’t have two glowing red eyes like the rest of his brethren. Instead, the entire helm of his helmet lit up with the bright crimson light.

Tenebris’ arms and legs were covered with individual pieces of plate armor that pinched to a point at the end and stretched over half of the next one. The effect was a sort of “spine” that ran down all of his appendages and came to a deadly point over his hands.

Last, but certainly not least, was his claymore. The fucker had a claymore sword so long, it was almost dragging behind him on the ground.

The massive sword, combined with the Caliginis’ already large wingspan, was going to make landing a critical hit on him a bitch.

Tenebris sauntered over to his chair, positioned himself in front of it, and then held out his arms with admiration.

“My loyal subjects,” he began in a deep, baritone voice that sounded like it was echoing in his own helmet, “thank you for coming out today. I hope you shall enjoy these two hours of entertainment just as much as I always do. Long live King Tenebris!”

The crowd roared back with an enthusiastic “long live Tenebris!” followed by a round of cheers that went on for a full minute before the king motioned for silence.

Damn. Zilla had claimed the Caliginis were putting on an act to appease Tenebris, but now I was starting to wonder. The people seemed to be putting on genuine enthusiasm when they were prompted by their king. If they were faking it, then they were damn good actors.

Were Zilla and her people lying to us? Was the Shining Alliance just a group of zealots who were dead set on taking out their king so they could gain power? This wouldn’t be the first violent, power-hungry group we’d encountered, but it would be the first one to try and trick us into doing its bidding.

Then again, there didn’t seem to be anything malicious about the Shining Alliance. They’d been nothing but kind and hospitable to us since we’d arrived in the Shadow World, and their story seemed to be legitimate.

I guess I was just gonna have to sit back and see how this one played out.

Tenebris took his seat, turned to the door, and clapped his hands.

“Bring out the first performer!” he bellowed.

Almost instantly, a Shadow Person cartwheeled out onto the stage through the doorway, landed on his feet, and threw his hands up excitedly.

The crowd went wild, and the performer responded with a tiny bow.

“Boring,” the king sighed as he patted the spot where his mouth would normally be. “This is the third time you’ve started off the show with that move this month, Shik. Don’t you have anything better for you king?”

“Well, Your Highness,” the Shadow Person responded in a nervous voice, “I’ve been doing this show for almost fifty years now. I must admit that it gets difficult to--”

“Find new material!” Tenebris screamed as he slammed his hands on the table. “I am the Shadow King, goddammit! I deserve to be treated to only the finest entertainment, and right now I wouldn’t even show this to an infant!”

The fool on the stage scratched his dark head in a panic and began to tremble. Then he raised his hand excitedly, bent down, and hopped up into the air. While he was off the ground, the Shadow Person tucked his body into a ball, hit the ground rolling, and spun over to the foot of the table. Then he popped out of his stance while simultaneously juggling three balls in the air. The fool caught all three of the balls, fell back into a circle, and repeated the process. After about five minutes of this action, he finally jumped back to his feet and took a stance while he panted heavily.

There was nothing but the white noise of the Shadow World in the air while he stood there, awaiting judgement. Then Tenebris began to clap.

“Bravo!” he boomed. “Juggling is a little last century, but I love the twist you put on it.”

After the crowd received their king’s approval, they broke out into cheers.

Okay, this was definitely all just an act.

We watched as the next few performers came out, pulled off their acts, and then disappeared back through the door. There were more jugglers, sword-swallowers, dancers, and even a few comedians.

“When is Caliban coming out?” I whispered to Zilla. “We have to strike before he comes on stage.”

“I believe there are still three more performers,” the Shadow Queen explained, “I’m certain your team will jump into action quite soon.”

The next set of performers were dancers who did what they called the “Dance of Death,” and I watched in awe as the performers danced across the stage as gracefully as a pair of classically-trained ballerinas. The dance utilized the Caliginis’ short stature, as it included lots of pendulum arm motions followed by rapid, brief full body twirls.

“Enjoying the show?” Deja asked as she nudged me with her elbow.

“What?” I broke out of my trance. “Oh, yeah, it’s really beautiful.”

“They’re telling the story of our creation,” Zilla explained, “symbolically, of course.”

“Of course,” I mused, “we have something like that on Earth Realm. We call it ‘interpretive dance,’ and it’s just as beautifully confusing.”

Once the dancers finished, they held their hands high, took a bow, and then took in the crowd’s cheers.

“That story gets better and better each time you two tell it!” Tenebris announced. “Bravo!”

“Ya know what doesn’t get better each time?” I heard Todd’s voice call out from the crowd. “Your lame-ass compliments. Are you a fucking NPC, because I swear all your dialogue is made to be as generic as possible.”

“Who said that?” Tenebris demanded as he stood up, slammed his fists on the table, and scanned the audience for his heckler. “If you wish to criticize your king, do it to my face, coward!”

“Oh, I’m the coward?” Todd giggled. “At least I’m not the one who wore a bunch of can openers to a fucking variety show, bro. Seriously, are you afraid one of the jugglers is gonna accidentally slip up and gag you with one of his balls? And I ain’t talking about the juggling kind, neither.”

There were a few stifled giggles in the crowd, but that was enough to send Tenebris into a fit of rage.

The Shadow King stood up, grabbed the table from the side, and then flipped it as hard as he could. It spun all the way across the room before it struck the far wall and splintered into a million pieces.

“Who the fuck is talking?” Tenebris roared. “You think you’re funny, you little shit? We’ll see who’s laughing when you’re writing at the end of my sword!”

“Whoa!” Todd gasped. “Everybody knows I don’t touch the sword on the first date. I always save that until the third or fourth go-around. You gotta keep ‘em wanting more, especially when your dick’s as small as your overcompensating sword suggests.”

There was another stifled laugh, and Tenebris went berserk.

In a fit of rage, Tenebris turned to the nearest Shadow Person, whipped out his claymore, and then stabbed him straight through the head. As the innocent Caliginis’ body collapsed to the ground, the Shadow King let out a psychotic, frustrated laugh.

At the same time, five of his guards marched over to the front of the crowd, held out their spears in an attack formation, and grunted. Meanwhile, two of the bastards stayed firm in their position, right next to Tenebris.

Just like Blagdan said they would.

“Alright, wise guy,” the king growled, “if you really want to be the star of the show, why don’t you come up here?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Todd giggled, “your obnoxious heat-lamp of a face is already blinding me from back here.”

Tenebris tossed up his boot and kicked the next nearest Shadow Person square in the face.

Black, tarry droplets of blood sprayed from the creature’s mouth as its head was tossed back, and then Tenebris raised his sword to its throat.

“Come out now, or another one of your brethren--” he began, but was then cut off by one of his guards hopping in front of him.

“Sire, watch out!” the guard cried, but it was too late.

Just as the soldier stepped in front of his king, a large, wooden tube struck him in the face. His head whipped back as the projectile fell to the ground, but it didn’t seem to do too much damage. The guard bent down, picked up the object, and inspected it thoroughly.

“What is it?” another soldier asked him as his eyes narrowed.

“It appears to be a … Oh god!” the first guard gasped as he tossed it to the ground in horror.

“What was it?” Deja asked curiously.

“How’d you like my little toy, boys?” Ira giggled as she stood up and tossed off her tablecloth. “I know it’s personally one of my favorites.”

Fucking hell … Ira had thrown one of her wooden sex toys at the poor bastards.

As Eclipse and Vidia stood to their feet, they both went on the offensive.

“Snuff out the darkness!” Vidia yelled as she hurled a handful of fireballs toward the king.

Eclipse repeated the battle cry and then launched a floating ball of black Hellfire at the guards to the right. A tiny black hole appeared in the sky above the guards, and each of them had to stab their spears into the ground so they didn’t get yanked into the abyss.

Meanwhile, Todd, Blagdan, and Ira were charging.

“Leeeeroooooyyyy Jenkins!” Todd cackled as he tossed fireballs at the guards.

Ira got there first as she materialized her morning star out of thin air and took a swing at the two guards who were holding on for dear life. One of the bastards pulled his spear loose and tried to block, but instead he just screamed as he was yanked into the black hole above. His dark, sticky blood poured out of the portal like a waterfall as his screams were silenced, and then it slammed shut.

“What the fu--” the second guard gasped, but his head was quickly caved in by the right spike of the morning star.

“The Shining Alliance?” Tenebris scoffed. “I should have known. Kill them all!”

Now that the element of surprise was no longer on the team’s side, the remaining guards were able to mount a defensive. Invidia’s fireballs were knocked away harmlessly, while another one of the soldiers was able to get the hilt of his weapon up just in time to stop an incoming bite from Blagdan.

The final guard set his attention on the succubi who had taken down his brethren, and so we got to witness an epic spear versus morning star and naginata battle. Then there was Todd. The imp was currently zipping around the room, and he hurled fireballs while he made the fireball sound effect from Super Mario Bros.

All the while, the crowd of Shadow People began to panic and headed toward the main exit, but the commotion caused a traffic jam in the Playhouse and effectively rendered the front door unusable.

It was pure chaos down there, and that was exactly how we wanted it.

Finally, Tenebris’ right-hand men made their move. One of the guards stepped in front of the King to shield him, while the other one placed a hurried hand on Tenebris’ shoulder and began to lead him toward the back of the room.

“Alright, everyone,” I announced to my friends, “it’s go time. Zilla and Inpulsa, do you think you two can handle the guards while Deja and me take care of Tenebris?”

“That’s why we’re here.” Inpulsa smirked as she summoned sparks into her hand. “Let’s go toast some motherfuckers.”

Inpulsa and Deja picked Zilla and I up and flew us over to the alleyway, and then we took our positions.

Zilla guarded one side of the alleyway, Inpulsa took the opposite side, and Deja and I stood firmly in the middle so we could divert the group as needed.

There was no way Tenebris was getting out of here alive.

“Do you think you can get your powers to work?” I asked Deja one last time. “Because if not, this whole mission is gonna get a lot harder.”

“I’ll try,” the tan succubus nodded, “it seems to mostly happen when I’m in the middle of combat, soooo … ”

Deja called forth her spear-tipped chain and began to twirl it around slowly.

“I like the way you think.” I grinned as I pulled the Unhallowed Sword out of its sheath.

The two of us stared at the door for a minute or two, and then we heard commotion on the other side. Commotion that was heading directly our way.

Suddenly, the back door was kicked open, and Tenebris and his two guards came bumbling out.

Deja wasted no time in tossing her spear at the fuckers, but the guards were too quick. One of them caught the chain around his hilt, yanked Deja toward him, and then slugged her in the face.

The succubus let out a shout of pain as she flew back and hit the side of the building behind us.

At the same time, I lashed out at Tenebris with my blade, but my weapon struck the wooden hilt of the guard’s spear instead.

The fucker knocked my sword up in the air and then twirled around so he could skewer me on the end of his spear. He would have, too, if not for the quick flash of purple I threw down at the last minute. Instead, his spearpoint bounced off harmlessly, and then I caught my sword and came at him once more.

This time, it was Tenebris’ turn to defend. There was the sharp clang of metal on metal as our blades collided, and I came face to face with our enemy for the very first time.

“Kill the others,” Tenebris growled, “leave this one for me. Tell me, friend, are you the Shining Alliance’s new ‘savior?’”

“We’re about to find out,” I shot back as I knocked away his blade and blasted a shot of red Hellfire at him from point-blank range.

Tenebris laughed as his body quickly faded and then reappeared on my right, and I was just able to get out a shield of purple before his sword collided with my side.

“Queen Zilla?” the Shadow King gasped mockingly. “How nice of you to join us. She must really believe in you, ‘savior.’”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Inpulsa and Deja were engaged with one of the guards, while Zilla was holding her own against the other. The Caliginis guards, however, were quick, and I could see why the Shining Alliance had so many issues trying to fight them.

Maybe the element of surprise was what I needed to gain the upper hand. I summoned silver Hellfire into my hand, surrounded the steel ball on my belt with its magical glow, and commanded the ball to turn into a makeshift spike. Then I threw it back with a flick of my wrist, but the fucker phased out.

My projectile rocketed through the wall of the building and out of sight.

Damn it.

Then Tenebris reappeared in front of me and lashed out with the speed of a cheetah.

This time, he didn’t miss.

There was a metallic crunch as the Shadow King’s sword went through the armor on my left leg and stabbed me straight in the thigh. My vision went red for a moment as white-hot pain shot through my body, and then I fell down to one knee.

I let out a roar of frustration as I unleashed a handful of yellow shuriken at the bastard, but he just dissipated once more. I tried to put weight on my injured leg, but the pain was almost unbearable.

I had to fight through it, though. This guy was already hard enough to kill, and it was only going to be harder if I had a gimp leg.

I heard Tenebris reappear behind me, and I used all of my strength to launch myself to the side. His blade swished past my position as I slammed into the wall, spun around, and blasted bronze Hellfire down at his feet.

My attack must have caught him off guard, because he let out a yelp of surprise as he fell back onto his armored ass.

I lifted up the Unhallowed Sword, took aim, and then brought it down on Tenebris.

He rolled out of the way of my attack, phased out, and then reappeared to my left. I was just able to parry his blow, but the impact knocked me back onto my knee.

The world went white for a moment as the pain from my wound shot up my spine, and I tossed out a purple shield in front of my entire body. As my vision faded back into view, I saw Tenebris was staring me down.

“And what makes them so sure you’re the one?” he mocked from the other side of the barrier. “You’re fighting just like all the ‘saviors’ that I’ve killed before.”

Tenebris disappeared in a flash, but this time I was able to predict his attack on my own.

I held out the Unhallowed Sword and spun around in a full circle right as the bastard showed up behind me. He let out a gasp of surprise as my sword struck metal, and then I saw Tenebris fall back against the alley wall.

There was a massive gash in his chest plate, but no blood, and Tenebris was still on his feet.

I’d just grazed his armor. If I wanted to kill this fucker, I needed to go deeper.

Before I could mount a second offensive, the fucker disappeared into thin air. However, this time I didn’t have a chance to prepare for the bastard, because one of his guards was barreling straight toward me.

I ducked out of the way of the guard’s spearpoint, drew the goat-headed dagger from my belt, and stabbed it into the crease between his shoulder and his torso.

The guard yelped with pain as he stumbled backward and dripped his sticky black blood all over, and I barely had another second to think before Tenebris was back on me.

This time, I wasn’t able to get my shield up in time. I felt the impact of his claymore against my breastplate, and my heart sank as I stumbled backward and felt to see if my bowels were all still in my body. My hand touched nothing but dented metal, and I let out a sigh of relief before I threw up the Unhallowed Sword to parry another one of the fucker’s blows.

I lashed out at the Shadow King with my foot, but it caught nothing but air as he phased out of existence with a flash of black Hellfire. As my foot stomped painfully into the ground, I saw my two succubi tag-teaming one of the guards.

The soldier knocked away a blast of Inpulsa’s yellow Hellfire with the tip of his spear, but he wasn’t quick enough to avoid Deja’s spear and chain. The tan succubus’ weapon wrapped around his neck like a coiling snake, yanked him up into the sky on the power of her black Hellfire, and held him in place as he writhed helplessly.

Then Inpulsa had him right where he wanted him. She summoned black Hellfire into one hand, yellow into the other, and slammed them together to create a giant beam of shocking magic.

The guard’s body lit up like a firework as the attack hit him, spread across his body, and illuminated it in a bright yellow light. As much as I wanted to watch his body writhe in pain while he was fried to death, I had to turn my attention back on my surroundings.

Tenebris was surely going to reappear any second now, and I had to be ready.

But he didn’t come for me.

This time, he reappeared directly behind Inpulsa.

“Watch out!” I tossed out a shield of purple Hellfire behind the yellow-haired succubus as Tenebris’ blade struck, and it bounced off with a clang.

Inpulsa released her spell on the guard, whipped around, and unleashed a blast of deadly electricity. It passed through the bastard’s phasing body and blew a large chunk of rock out of the wall where he stood, but the Shadow King was still at large.

“You alright?” I called out to my two succubi.

“Jacob!” Deja suddenly gasped as her pupils dilated to intense levels. “He’s going to appear right behind you!”

In one swift motion, I flipped my sword around in my hand, thrust it backward, and heard a metallic crunch as it struck its target, but I didn’t hear Tenebris go down.

“Duck!” Inpulsa screamed as she launched yellow Hellfire in my direction.

I listened to my teammate and ducked down just as Tenebris’ blade swung over my head. I heard the fucker grunt as he was hit by the electrical blast, and then a crash as he slammed into the wall behind me.

When I finally spun around to face him, the Shadow King was slowly standing back to his feet.

“Clever,” he grumbled as he raised his hands and showed me his scratched-up gauntlets, “but I’m afraid my Umbrian Armor isn’t as flimsy as what you’re used to.”

The fucker had caught my sword. Even though I knew exactly where he was going to be and my aim was true, Tenebris caught my sword unscathed.

Maybe this was going to be tougher than I’d thought.

The Shadow King released his grip on the weapon and then waved to me mockingly as he disappeared into thin air.

“What happened?” Deja gasped as she and Inpulsa ran over.

“He caught my blade,” I grumbled, “we have to rethink this strategy. Deja, you stay here with me. Inpulsa, you go help Zilla.”

“I don’t know if she needs my help,” the yellow-haired succubus mused as she looked over toward the Shadow Queen. “She seems to be--”

“Inpulsa’s right!” Deja gasped, and then she lashed out to the empty spot just to the right of her sister.

I followed suit with the Unhallowed Sword, and both of our attacks struck the bastard square in the chest.

He let out a loud grunt as Deja’s spearhead lodged itself into the breastplate of his armor, and the tip of my sword dented it even further. The Shadow King roared with anger as he retaliated with a swipe of his deadly blade, but I quickly knocked it away with a flash of purple Hellfire. Tenebris disappeared, but this time, he took Deja’s spear and chain with him.

“Well, that’s new,” I admitted.

“How are we ever going to get through that armor?” Deja sighed as she looked around cautiously. “We both hit him at full strength, and our weapons didn’t even wound him!”

“But we are wearing down his armor,” I reminded her. “We just need a few more strikes and maybe--”

Tenebris appeared before us, and I had to forcibly push Deja out of the way before she was skewered by his claymore. The Shadow King didn’t hesitate in making his next move, he just swung at me in an upward diagonal motion as he tried to separate my head from my shoulders.

I dodged the attack, lashed out with a red fireball, and watched the bastard vanish before my attack landed.

“We need a new plan,” I growled as I helped Deja back to her feet. “Even with your predictions, it’s not enough time to land a lethal blow. We need to stop this fucker from phasing.”

“How’s that even possible?” the tan succubus asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Now I’m kinda wishing we’d brought Sia. She could have neutralized this fucker’s powers with her black magic.”

Suddenly, the corpse of the second guard went rocketing over our heads and then crashed into a mangled heap on the ground of the alleyway. Zilla and Inpulsa ran over to where we were standing, and both of them were covered from head to toe with the sappy blood of the guard they’d just killed.

“Tenebris?” Zilla questioned hopefully.

“Right here, Usurper!” the Shadow King bellowed as he reappeared and took a swing at Zilla.

I knocked his attack away with a quick shield of purple, stabbed at him with the sword, and struck him right in the spot where Deja’s spear was lodged. The attack pushed the spear into his body a little bit further, and the Shadow King let out a grunt of pain in response.

As the cowardly bastard disappeared, I realized what I needed to do.

I held the Unhallowed Sword in front of me, summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, and then encased the weapon with my spell. Did I really want to do this? This was my most trusted weapon, and once it was melted down, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to get it back to the form it was in right now.

But we needed to kill this fucker, and this was the only way.

The rest of my team watched in horror as I melted down the Unhallowed Sword into a dozen tiny, floating spikes of metal.

“What are you doing?” Zilla demanded. “My men spent hours prepping your weapon!”

“Improvising,” I explained. “Deja, where is he coming from?”

“I-I don’t know,” she admitted as she tried to force her foresight to work. “I can’t do it on command, and--”

Suddenly, there was a blip as the Shadow King reappeared to Zilla’s right and lashed out with his claymore.

The Shadow Queen jumped to the side to avoid the attack, but his weapon was still able to graze her arm. Zilla yelled in pain as she fell to the side and gripped the wound on her shoulder, and I was just able to get another barrier of purple up before Tenebris struck his mortal enemy down once and for all.

Now was my chance, though.

I commanded the Hellfire-encased black spikes to shoot forward, and each and every one stabbed into Tenebris’ torso. The Shadow King stumbled backward as his breastplate became a metal pincushion, and then he quickly phased out of harm’s way.

“What the fuck was that?” Zilla demanded through gritted teeth. “You wasted your greatest weapon!”

“Ye have little faith,” Inpulsa chuckled, “if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time with Jacob, it’s that he always has a plan. And I’m a doubter by nature!”

The yellow-haired beauty was right. I knew exactly what I was doing, but I still needed Deja’s help to make it work.

“How’s the foresight coming along?” I asked as I summoned my silver Hellfire and tried to reach out for my missing silver ball.

Instantly, I felt the metal calling back to me. Even though I couldn’t see it, I could feel it rising up into the air, and I knew it was headed back in my direction. However, I was currently unarmed. If it didn’t get back to me soon, I would be nothing but a sitting duck when Tenebris reappeared.

As it flew through the air, I tried to command the metal weapon to reform itself into my warhammer.

“It’s … ” Deja trembled, “I-I think he’s … Your five o’clock!”

Tenebris appeared just as the metal weapon returned to me. Then I expanded the size of the warhammer’s head, spun around, and slammed the weapon into Tenebris’ chest as hard as I could.

His entire breastplate dented inward with the blow, and the Shadow King let out a yowl of agony as he flew back and crashed into the wall of the alleyway. More importantly, my makeshift toxic darts weren’t visible any more.

They were inside Tenebris’ chest.

The Shadow King collapsed on his ass and began to gurgle as he grabbed frantically at his breastplate.

“You … ” he gasped as white foam dripped down his armor, “you’re no savior.”

“I know.” I nodded as I watched Tenebris begin to spasm. “I’m a fucking Demon King.”

The gurgling noises became louder and more harrowed, and it now looked like Tenebris was spitting up gallons of the foamy substance. His body was jerking around like it was being jolted by electricity, and then dark, black blood began to mix in with the foamy substance as it ran down his body.

Zilla sauntered over to Tenebris, bent down, and then turned his head with her hands.

“Sic semper tyrannis,” Zilla growled at the dying despot.

Tenebris tried to say something, but all that came out was a few sprays of bloody foam. Finally, his body went limp.

Tenebris, the Shadow King, was dead.

Chapter 12

I summoned silver Hellfire back into my hand, aimed at Tenebris’ dead body, and then recalled the lethal darts I’d riddled him with. They all came out with a wet “shlock” and floated ominously in front of my face. Then I closed my eyes as I tried to reassemble them into the Unhallowed Sword.

I tried to remember all of the weapon’s intricate carvings … its universally unmatched craftsmanship … everything that made it the only sword of its kind in the universe.

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw the metal had materialized itself into a black sword.

But it wasn’t the Unhallowed Sword.

The blade was longer and thinner than I remembered it being, and it now lacked any of the detailed Inferoglyph carvings.

I sighed as I snatched the sword out of the sky with my free hand and twirled it around. Even the crossguard and handle felt off when I held them in my hand, which threw off the entire weight of the weapon. I sighed once more as I sheathed it back onto my belt. Then I turned my warhammer back into its silver ball and put it right next to the sword.

“It’s alright, Jacob,” Deja reassured me, “I’m sure the sword will work just as well.”

“I’m not sure if I can ever get it back to the way it used to be, but hey, we are alive and that douchebag is dead.”

“I’d say it’s a noble sacrifice,” Zilla noted as she stood up. “My people and I thank you.”

The Shadow Queen held up her foot, placed it against the head of Tenebris’ corpse, and then nonchalantly kicked it down to the ground.

“Do we need to get you to a healer?” I asked and pointed at the wound on her arm.

“Speak for yourself,” Zilla nodded toward my injured leg, “I’m surprised you can even still walk right now.”

“I’m running on pure adrenaline,” I admitted, “and believe it or not, this isn’t even close to the worst wound I’ve ever received.”

Unfortunately, that adrenaline was running out right now, and I could feel the harsh throbbing returning to my leg. I grimaced as I hobbled back toward the door of the Playhouse.

“Where are you going?” Zilla questioned. “We need to get you medical attention!”

“I want to see how the rest of the group is doing,” I replied, “friends first, medical attention later.”

I limped through the entrance of the Playhouse as quickly as I could, until I finally reached the stage where the ground team had engaged the guards.

There was only one of the shadowy soldiers left, and he was doing his damndest to stay alive. He rolled out of the way of Todd’s fireballs and Tris’ bullets, sprung to his feet, and parried both Ira’s morning star and Eclipse’s naginata at the same time. Then he spun around, threw out his leg, and knocked Blagdan and Vidia to the ground with a roundhouse kick.

He jumped back, and I saw he was breathing like an Olympic runner after the forty-meter dash. The guard had put up a noble fight, but he wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Your king is dead,” I announced, and the whole room looked over at me in shock. “You’ve fought bravely, but it’s over. Give yourself up right now, and I will let you live.”

“Likely story,” the guard muttered as he tightened his grip on his weapon, “you think Queen Zilla is going to let any of Tenebris’ men survive?”

“I am the Savior of her people,” I explained, “if I wish for you to live, then she will listen to me.”

“Dude, come on,” Tris huffed and blew a bit of stray hair out of her face, “don’t we all wanna just put down our weapons and relax? Because I’m totally over this fight.”

The guard looked around at my friends as he mulled over my offer. Then he tossed his weapon to the ground, got down on his knees, and held up his hands in surrender.

“Smart choice, bro,” Todd heckled from above, “I wouldn’t wanna get my ass kicked by an imp, either.”

“I’ll have my people take him to the dungeon,” Zilla noted as she entered the room. “As much as I’d love to wipe out any and all of Tenebris’ loyalists, I’ll follow the wishes of our Savior. Blagdan?”

The Shadow Person general walked over to the guard, produced some sort of magical device that looked like a pair of handcuffs, and then locked them around his opponent’s wrists.

The pain in my leg was really starting to get to me now. My muscles were contracting around the wound as I tried to straighten my body out, and it felt like my entire leg was frozen and on fire at the same time.

“Not to be impatient,” I grumbled as I limped over to Zilla, “but should we head back to the base? I’m sure it’s gonna take some time before all of Tenebris’ loyalists calm down and accept that he’s gone.”

“Nah, bro,” Todd dismissed, “haven’t you ever seen Return of the Jedi? Once you kill the leader, it’s all over. Everything goes back to the way it was before they took over, and everybody lives happily ever after.”

“That’s not how it works at all,” Blagdan explained, “there are still a few dozen more guards out there who don’t even know Tenebris is dead yet, and there are going to be many Caliginis who will think this is just some trick by their king to test their loyalty. Our work is far from over, my imp friend … It’s just beginning.”

“Who ya gonna believe, Jakey?” Todd scoffed. “Some dude who’s been locked up in a hidey-hole fighting in a resistance for hundreds of years, or George freaking Lucas?”

“That Lucas guy,” Tris piped up, “I definitely like his ending better. Way less work.”

“I think I’ll go with him,” I admitted and pointed at Blagdan.

“I have failed you, Jakey,” Todd sighed in a British accent, “I have failed you.”

I laughed at the imp’s joke and then suddenly found myself feeling light-headed. I stumbled for a few steps as my vision began to go white, and then collapsed down to my knees.

“Jacob!” Invidia gasped as she ran over and knelt down at my side. “You’re hurt!”

“I’ll be fine,” I promised, “I just need a healer. That’s all. That Shadow Bastard out there got me in the damn leg.”

“We can arrange that,” Zilla agreed, “Blagdan, take them all back to our headquarters. Throw that traitorous piece of trash in the dungeon, and then get Jacob to a proper healer.”

“What about you, my Queen?” Blagdan questioned. “Aren’t you coming with us?”

Zilla smiled at her general and then shook her head.

“Are you kidding?” she mused. “You just said we have lots of more work to do. That’s why I told a small band of the Shining Alliance to meet me just outside the gates of the Dark Castle. We’re going to clear out the rest of Tenebris’ grunts, and then I can once again sit on my rightful throne.”

“I’m tellin’ ya,” Todd interjected, “there’s not gonna be anyone there. They’re all gonna high-tail it out of there once they hear their leader’s gone.”

“We shall see, my friend,” Zilla sighed. “I hope you are correct, but I’m not going to hold my breath. Now, if you’ll excuse me … I have a castle to reclaim.”

“Godspeed, my queen.” Blagdan bowed.

“And thank you, Jacob Ralston,” the Shadow Woman said with a nod. “If it wasn’t for you and your Demon Lords, we never could have defeated this tyrant.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” I chuckled through gritted teeth. “Now, uh, about that healer … ”

Zilla simply shook her head, turned away, and then gave Blagdan some sort of signal as she walked back through the exit.

“Come on, let’s get you back,” the general said as he bent down, placed my arm around his shoulder, and then lifted me back to my feet.

Invidia took my other arm, and then my two allies began to help me toward the front exit of the Playhouse.

“What about this jabroni?” Todd questioned as he slapped the guard playfully on the helmet.

“I trust one of you can handle taking him back with us,” Blagdan grumbled, “just make sure you keep him bound and in your sight at all times.”

“I’m on it!” Ira cackled as she ran over to the guard. “Deja, can I borrow your weapon?”

“Sure … ” Deja answered, and then she summoned her spear and chain into her hand.

The tan succubus tossed the weapon over to Ira, who shuddered as she caught it and then dashed over to the guard.

Ira tied the chain around his already-handcuffed hands, yanked them tight, and then let out a whimper of glee.

“This is gonna be funnnnn,” she nearly moaned. “I haven’t had anyone in chains in forever.”

“We’re just taking him back to the headquarters,” Eclipse reminded her sister.

“I know, I know,” Ira sighed. “Don’t worry, nowadays I save all my fun times for Jacob. And sometimes my other half. Now, come on, slave!”

Ira gave the chain a hard tug, and the guard fell down onto his hands and knees. He grumbled as he stood back up, and then Ira yanked again to get him to start walking.

“I worry about her sometimes.” Inpulsa shuddered.

“Eh, don’t worry about it too much, Pikachu,” Todd chuckled. “At least Crazy Eyes is pretty upfront about her weird fetishes. Now, Elvira and Lizbeth, on the other hand … they’re the ones you gotta watch out for. Chicks who’re all quiet and grumpy and stoic are usually the ones who’re the freaks in bed. Ain’t that right, Jakey?”

“No comment,” I grumbled and rolled my eyes.

“You know we’re right here, right?” Vidia mumbled under her breath. “Eclipse and I can hear everything you’re saying.”

The succubi, Todd, Blagdan, and I made our way out the main exit of the playhouse and back into the town square of Umbra. Then my already weakened heart seemed to skip a beat.

Before us were hundreds of Shadow People, and they all stared at us silently, with their glowing red eyes narrowed in anticipation.

“Well, this is awkward,” Todd chuckled as he slowly slid behind Inpulsa’s leg.

“It’s alright,” Blagdan announced, “Tenebris is dead. The people of Umbra are now free, thanks to this Nephilim right here.”

There were whispers throughout the crowd, but none of the Shadow People broke their gaze.

“It’s true,” I said weakly as we walked forward, “the tyrant is dead. The Caliginis are now back under the rule of their rightful and true queen, Zilla.”

The tension in the air seemed to disappear when I name-dropped the Shadow Queen, and finally, a lone cheer rose up from the crowd. It was immediately followed by a slew of happy whistles and clapping hands that grew into a joyous roar.

“Make way for our savior!” somebody called out, and then the large crowd split down the middle to allow us to pass.

“All hail the savior!” another voice cheered as we passed by.

“Is that an imp?” another one gasped. “And succubi?”

“The Nephilim Champion!” a voice whistled.

“They love us,” Todd fake cried, “they really love us!”

We passed through the cheering mob and then slowly made our way back to the headquarters. Finally, after about ten more minutes of walking, I began to feel dizzy.

“G-Guys?” I asked as my leg went limp underneath me. “I’m starting to feel a little … “

“Shhhh!” Invidia warned. “Save your energy, Jacob.”

“Can one of you fly him back?” Blagdan asked abruptly. “I’m afraid he might be losing blood too fast, and I don’t know if we’ll make it back in time if we keep going like this.”

“On it,” Invidia blurted, and then I saw a flash purple out of the corner of my eyes.

“I wish somebody would carry me,” Tris joked to lighten the mood.

Suddenly, Invidia’s hands were underneath my armpits, and I was lifted up into the air. I watched as the dark, glowing city of Umbra passed by in a flash, and then my vision started to go dark.

The last thing I remembered was Vidia begging me to stay awake and to “hold on.”

But I couldn’t.

The world went dark.

“Is he going to be alright?” I heard the deep voice of Inpulsa ask.

“His vitals are stable,” a mystery voice explained, “and the Mysticberry paste I spread across his leg seems to have clotted his blood and stopped the spread of infection … I’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time.”

I slowly opened my eyes to see a plain black ceiling. I assumed I was back in the Shining Alliance headquarters, but it was really hard to tell.

Everything in Umbra was made out of the same black materials, after all.

I sat up leisurely and was greeted by the hopeful faces of my Demon Lords. Inpulsa was standing next to a Shadow Person who I assumed she was just talking with, but Eclipse, Ira, Vidia, Tris, and Todd were all huddled around my bed.

“He’s awake!” Eclipse gasped.

Suddenly, Tris wrapped her arms around me intensely and gave me a peck on the cheek.

“That was a really long nap, Jacob,” the Sister of Sloth chuckled, “like, I’m totally jealous. But not about the whole ‘sword through the leg’ thing. You can definitely keep that.”

“Good to see you, too,” I mused. “What the fuck happened?”

“You passed out from all the blood loss,” Vidia explained. “Luckily we were close to this place, so I got you inside, and this healer worked his magic.”

“Your wounds healed quite quickly,” the Shadow Person nodded, “but then you slept for hours. You’ve earned it, Savior.”

“Please don’t call me that.” I shook my head. “I hate getting called shit like that. Just ‘King Ralston’ is fine.”

“Then I will leave you with your friends, King Ralston,” the Shadow Person replied, “but know that when you are ready, our Queen wishes to speak with you.”

The healer gave me a soft smile before he floated through the threshold of the door.

“Uh-oh, Jakey,” Todd snickered, “you know what that means … ”

The imp held up his left hand in an “o” shape and held up his right with an extended index finger. Then he pushed the index finger through the hole repeatedly as he waggled his eyebrows and made soft “slurping” sounds.

“That’s not what she wants.” I rolled my eyes. “Besides, the Caliginis are asexual, remember?”

“Hey, the Toddster doesn’t judge,” Todd shrugged, “I’m just speaking from previous experience.”

“She probably wants to thank you for what you’ve done,” Eclipse suggested, “maybe even give you some sort of reward.”

“Or maybe there’s a ceremony or something, now that you’re their savior and all,” Deja added.

“Again,” Todd reiterated, “based on my experiences with these sorta things, that will probably involve laying some shadow pipe.”

“Fucking hell.” I facepalmed at the imp’s words. “There isn’t going to be any banging, Todd.”

“Alrighhhhhttt,” the imp said as he held up his hands in defeat. “If you say so.”

As I stood up out of the bed, I realized I was wearing nothing but a pair of old trousers and my undershirt. My armor and weapons were nowhere to be found.

“Uh, where’s all my stuff?” I questioned aloud. “Please tell me they didn’t toss it all out.”

“Don’t be silly,” Eclipse spoke up. “Your armor and weapons were pretty badly damaged from your fight with Tenebris, so the Caliginis took it to see if it could possibly be fixed.”

“I don’t think the Unhallowed Sword is getting back to its old self,” I sighed and slumped my shoulders. “Oh, well, at least it’ll still function as a sword, and it was sacrificed for a good cause.”

“Can’t you just have Ariel look at it when we get back to the Fourth Circle?” Inpulsa questioned. “I’d wager she could fix it.”

“She certainly could!” Ira added. “That spunky little redhead has fixed a bunch of my broken toys, and she always does a spectacular job.”

“Wait, which one are we talking about?” Todd scratched his head. “Firecracker? Strawberry Shortcake? Little Mermaid? Scully? I’m starting to get ‘em all confused.”

“Now Todd,” Ira placed her hands on her hips, “why would Superbia or Gula or Lilith have anything to do with fixing weapons?”

“I dunno,” the imp shrugged, “I’ve noticed your girls’ ‘thing’ sometimes jumps around, depending on the adventure we’re on. I was just making sure.”

“I’ll have Ariel look at it,” I agreed, “but I dunno if even she can fix such an ancient, intricate piece. But for now … I’ve got a Shadow Queen to speak to.”

I walked through the door of the hospital wing, sauntered out into the main lobby, and noticed a large group of people huddled near the far left side of the room. My leg still throbbed gently as the blood clotted my wound, but it held all of my weight without so much as a tweak of pain.

However, they didn’t look like the Shadow People I was used to. They were still tall, nebulous beings with short legs and long arms, but they now had more … human features.

Their figures were more pronounced, and I saw their faces now had a nose, distinct cheekbones, and even hair. The Caliginis’ bodies were still dark and still featured the red eyes and sharp teeth, but these were far from the horrific beasts I’d seen when I’d first entered the Shadow World.

Then I saw her.

At the center of the group stood a tall woman with long, flowing black hair. Her cheekbones were high and pronounced, and her bright red eyes were now surrounded by long, thin eyelashes and thick brows. The woman was clad in a shadowy suit of armor that hugged each and every curve on her body, and she wore an equally black crown atop her head.

“Q-Queen Zilla?” I gasped.

The woman looked over at me and grinned widely.

“I know it’s a little shocking,” the Shadow Queen mused, “but these are our true forms, King Ralston. Tenebris forced us all to take on the other ghastly shape when he was ruler. He claimed we were all monsters, just like the Rapha Beasts, and so he made us take a similar form. But now that he’s gone, we are free to be ourselves once more.”

I could barely think as I stared down the Shadow Queen. This was Zilla? I never in a million years would have thought she was this beautiful.

“I, uh, heard you wanted to see me?” I asked as I tried to regain my composure.

“I have something for you.” The dark-haired woman nodded, turned around, and beckoned for me to follow.

Instantly, my mind went to all sorts of dirty things. Maybe Todd was right, after all. Maybe Zilla wanted me to “seal the deal” by sleeping with her and becoming a Shadow King or some shit like that. I honestly didn’t care at the moment. I was too busy taking in all of her beauty.

So, I just followed Zilla over to a small table, where another humanoid Shadow Person was waiting.

This one was a man with jet-black hair and a chin that looked so sharp, I worried it was lethal. His look was topped off by a thin, black pencil mustache on his upper lip and an equally dark goatee.

“I’m glad to see you’ve made a full recovery, King Ralston.” He smiled, and I instantly recognized his voice.

“Blagdan,” I said as I returned the smile.

“In the flesh,” he bowed, “all thanks to you, of course.”

“So, if you guys are all back to your normal selves,” I began, “I’m assuming all went well at the castle?”

“Beyond well,” Zilla explained. “News of Tenebris’ death spread through Umbra quite quickly, and by the time we got to the castle, there was next to zero opposition. My men and I quickly dispatched the handful of loyalists inside, and then I reclaimed what was rightfully mine. And a few more things … ”

The Shadow Queen motioned over to the table, and I followed her gaze.

“Holy shit!” I whistled when I saw what was on the table. “Is that what I think it is?”

On top of the dark, wooden bench sat a heap of black, almost gaseous armor surrounded by a glow of purple.

Tenebris’ armor.

“It’s yours now, King Ralston,” Zilla announced, “as you saw first-hand, this is one of the strongest suits of armor in the known universe. I know you still have much of Hell to conquer, and I figured this would aid you along the way.”

“I-I don’t know what to say,” I stuttered as I picked up a piece of the dark armor.

“Say nothing,” Blagdan retorted. “We are forever indebted to you, Jacob Ralston. If you wish to thank us, then use this armor in your future conquests. And be sure to stop by and visit from time to time.”

“That won’t be an issue,” I reassured the general. “Now that my friends and I know we are welcome here, we’re going to be around a lot more often.”

“Excellent,” Zilla smiled, and then she motioned toward a Shadow Person off to the right, “but there is still one more thing we want you to have.”

“That’s not necessary,” I reassured the Shadow Queen, “you’ve already given us plen--”

I nearly swallowed my own tongue when I saw what the Shadow People brought me next.

It was a medium-sized book, with a black and purple cover and a title in a language I couldn’t make out. The entire thing was surrounded by a wisp of purple flame and intricate drawings that depicted the Caliginis and the various beasts of their world.

“The Book of Bezaleel,” Zilla confirmed, “take it, King Ralston. It belongs to our Savior.”

I was hesitant. This book was one of great power, but I also knew just how important it was to the Caliginis people.

“This is your sacred text,” I argued, “this is the book that gives the Shadow World and you guys all your power. If I take it back to Earth Realm or Hell with me, won’t that all disappear?”

“Nope,” Blagdan explained, “once the magic of the Book of Bezaleel has been unleashed, it takes an act of the Exalted One to make it go away. And, even then, it sometimes doesn’t work.”

“We will be fine without it,” Zilla added, “especially now that Tenebris is out of the way.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just picked up the book and began to leaf through its pages. Everything was written in the same foreboding, foreign text on the front cover, but it was intermixed with illustrations that were in a somewhat Celtic style and featured several creatures and figures I’d never heard of.

“What language is this?” I questioned. “I’ll admit, I’m not familiar with it whatsoever.”

“There are three sections to the Book of Bezaleel,” Zilla explained, “and the spells in each one get progressively stronger as you journey through the book. The first is written in Inferoglyphs, while the second is all Umbrian, the language of the Caliginis.”

“And the third?”

“The third section is made up of a language even we do not understand,” the Shadow Queen sighed, “Deorish. The language of deities. It is said only the Exalted One, Lucifer, and a select few can read it.”

Well, shit. If I wanted to unlock this thing’s secrets, and in turn its power, I needed to first figure out how to read the juicy spells in the back.

Then it hit me.

Ziminiar. He was the Great Scholar of Hell for millennia. If anyone could crack the code on this language, it was the new King of the Sixth Circle.

“Thank you,” I reiterated, “you have no idea how much help these items will be on my next mission.”

“Thank you, King Ralston,” Zilla smiled, “because of you, my people will prosper once more.”

I gathered up the armor and the book in a large cloth satchel, tied it up, and flung it over my shoulder. Then I remembered I was still missing something.

“Where are my weapons?” I questioned. “I’m not gonna get too far without those.”

“I had our blacksmiths bring them back to your bedside in the healing room,” Blagdan explained, “they should be there when you return.”

“Alright,” I nodded and extended my hand, “I think we’ll be on our way, then.”

“Leaving so soon?” Zilla frowned. “The celebration is just beginning.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t celebrate too much,” I admitted, “I still have a Demon King to kill back in my world.”

“Well, then,” Blagdan noted as he shook my hand, “we hope to see you again soon.”

“Oh, you will,” I reassured him. “You will.”

“Three cheers for King Ralston!” Zilla called out as I began to walk away.

The crowd of Shadow People let out three “hip-hip, hooray”s as I headed back to the healing room, and I couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride.

“Soooooo,” Todd asked as he sat on the bed and swung his feet in the air behind him like a schoolgirl, “how was she?”

“We didn’t--” I began, but then realized the comment didn’t even warrant a response. “They gave me a new set of armor. And the Book of Bezaleel.”

“You have the Book of Bezaleel?” Vidia squealed. “You have to let me borrow it sometime!”

“Maybe after Ziminiar gets a chance to read it,” I said. “The part with the most powerful magic is written in a language that only the Exalted One and Lucifer can read.”

“Then we’ll just have to see if we can crack the code,” Eclipse purred happily. “You know I’m always down for a good puzzle.”

“First thing’s first,” I mused as I surveyed my surroundings, “we need to get back to the Fourth Circle.”

I glanced down on the floor by my cot and saw the familiar shape of my old armor, complete with my belt, goat-headed dagger, Unhallowed Sword, and the ball that would become my warhammer. I quickly scooped everything up, tossed it in the satchel, and then turned back to face my friends.

“Is everybody ready to head back?” I asked rhetorically. “This was a fun little side quest, but we’ve still got the big boss waiting for us back in Hell.”

My team nodded as they stood up, walked over to form a circle, and then all joined hands and closed their eyes.

“There is no place like home,” Todd snickered, and then he clicked his heels together.

I just rolled my eyes, joined the circle, and tried to summon up enough fear to take us all back to the Fourth Circle.

It wasn’t hard. I knew what laid ahead.

Beelzebub.

Within seconds, my black Hellfire spread across my body, engulfed my friends in its intense glow, and then began to transport us across space and time.

We were going home.

Chapter 13

“Yeesh,” Todd grumbled as he took a few wobbly steps, “this whole ‘teleporting between dimensions’ shtick is gonna take some getting used to.”

As the black Hellfire subsided, I could see my friends and I had safely arrived back in the courtyard of my castle. The brisk, brimstone-scented air whipped at my neck as I released my friends’ hands, and I looked around triumphantly.

We were home.

“Finally,” Tris huffed, “I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen my beautiful couch. I think I was starting to forget what it even looked like!”

“You’d better get on it, then,” I warned. “We’re not going to have much time to relax. Once the other Demon Kings arrive, we’re going to have to jump right into battle planning.”

“Dude,” Tris giggled and placed a hand on her right hip sassily, “you don’t have to tell me twice. Toodelloo!”

The Sister of Sloth turned around and bounded for the entrance of the castle as quickly as she possibly could, and I watched her tight ass jiggle through her form-fitting pants as she disappeared into the building.

“She might be exaggerating,” Inpulsa spoke up, “but Tris has the right idea. We just got out of the frying pan, and soon we’re gonna be thrown right back into the fire.”

“You guys have all done your part,” I announced to the group. “Go rest. You’ve earned it.”

“Aren’t you going to join us?” Eclipse purred. “The bed always feels so much emptier when you’re not in it.”

“Blech,” Todd gagged. “I think that’s my cue to head back to Toddster Tower. Maybe I can get in a power wank before the Legion of Doom show up.”

“Uhhh,” Deja questioned, “don’t you mean ‘power nap?’”

“I know what I said, Clockblocker,” Todd snickered, and then he surrounded his body with black Hellfire and took to the sky. “Later, gobstoppers. My schlong ain’t gonna pleasure itself.”

“We really need to get him laid,” Eclipse sighed as the tiny imp shot off toward his quarters. “I swear he’s like, addicted to masturbating or something.”

“Is that even a thing?” Deja asked, “I’m sure that can’t be healthy … ”

“It’s not,” Ira interjected, “the penis can only handle about two straight hours of friction a day. Then it gets all red and swollen and sometimes even develops blisters or stuff like that. I’m getting super fucking wet just thinking about it.”

“I’m not even going to justify that with a comment.” Eclipse shuddered.

“What about the woman he keeps talking about?” Inpulsa suggested. “Todd always seems to find a way to interject the ‘redhead from Kansas’ into the conversation, but I’ve never met her in person.”

“That’s because we’ve only met her once,” I shrugged, “back on our first adventure. I guess it was love at first sight, because he’s been talking about her ever since. Even though he’s too shy to go after her.”

“Todd?” Deja gasped. “Shy? Those are two words I never thought I’d hear together, like, ever.”

“It’s true,” I continued, “Todd’s always been a big talker, but he’s only had one or two solid girlfriends his whole life. And even his hookups happened when his confidence was propped up by weed and alcohol.”

“Awwww,” Deja giggled, “Todd’s a hopeless romantic.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” I shot back.

“Speaking of romantic … ” Eclipse interrupted, “are you coming to bed right now, or not?”

I looked at Eclipse, in her skin-tight leather outfit, and thought about what would happen if I went with her.

“Unfortunately not,” I sighed, “as much as I want to, I’ve still got business to attend to. I need to see what Ariel can do about this new armor and the Unhallowed Sword. Plus, I need to be here to greet all the Demon Kings when they arrive, especially Ziminiar. Besides … you’re supposed to be resting. If I go up there with you guys, there’s not going to be anything close to sleeping going on.”

“You know us too well,” Deja grinned, “but you’re totally right. I’d hate to be even more drained before our big battle with Beelzebub.”

“You wouldn’t be the only thing that’d be drained,” Ira giggled, “so it’s probably for the best. I still need to go figure out all the fun things I can do with this Darkfisk toxin. The limits only go as far as my imagination and, as you all know, my imagination can go pretty fucking far.”

The Sister of Wrath let out a giggle before she placed her hand to her mouth, blew us all a kiss, and then headed off to her “shed of wonders.”

“Hopefully, she’s making weapons with that.” Inpulsa shuddered.

“You and I both know she’s not, Sister,” Eclipse mused through a yawn. “Now come, let’s not keep Jacob. He’s got a lot of shit to do, and I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

“Keep the bed warm for me.” I winked at the three succubi as they turned around, wrapped their arms around each other’s waists, and then strutted away.

“No promises,” Eclipse joked over her shoulder.

I shook my head amusedly as I lifted the satchel from the Shadow World back onto my shoulder and then headed in the direction of the Coliseum. I’d made this journey a million times before, and nowadays it felt like I could do it on autopilot.

Walk past the bubbling water of the sulfur pits … hang a left at Ira’s love shack … continue on until I reached the outskirts of the city … and then there it was, in all its glory.

The giant, three story structure built out of pure dark brimstone, the building that housed Todd’s Royal Rumbles, Ariel the angel’s workshop, and all of our training exercises. Honestly, it seemed like I spent more time here nowadays than I did in my own castle.

That was probably for the best, though. Our journey into Beelzebub’s domain was looming, and it was going to take all of my army, combined with my trusted Demon Lords and the armies of all of my allied Demon Kings, to even stand a chance against the Lord of the Flies.

I just hoped it would be enough.

When I finally reached the door of the workshop, I rapped three times, stood back, and waited patiently. Within seconds, the dark wooden door popped open to reveal the short, athletic figure of Ariel.

The angel was wearing nothing but a pink sports bra and a pair of dark black leggings, and her skin was glistening with a thin layer of sweat.

I had definitely interrupted one of her workouts.

“Jacob!” she gasped. “You’re back!”

“What?” I grinned. “Did you think I was gonna stay in the Shadow World forever?”

“Well … not willingly,” the redhead said as her eyes flitted down to the ground, “it’s just … Cupi and Lilith made it sound so dangerous.”

“It was dangerous,” I explained, “but it was well worth the effort. That’s why I’m here right now, to show off the goodies. Well, and to ask you for a huuuuuge favor.”

“Anything,” the freckled angel smiled, “I’m just happy to see you alive.”

“That makes two of us,” I chuckled as I followed Ariel deeper into her shop.

Over in the far doorway, I saw a pull-up bar mounted onto the frame, with a few weights on the floor right next to it.

Yep. She was totally working out before I got here.

Not that I was gonna complain. The redhead always looked like she had the body of a goddess, with a beautiful complexion and a bright smile to match.

“So, whatta ya got for me?” Ariel asked excitedly.

Before I could answer, the redhead snatched the bag from my shoulder, took it over to the workbench, and then opened it up. She pulled out the first bit of Tenebris’ armor, let out a whistle, and then laid it down on the brimstone surface of her workspace.

“It’s Caliginis armor,” I explained, “worn by Tenebris, the tyrant who ruled over them.”

“The Caliginis?” she asked.

“I have a lot of explaining to do,” I reminisced.

For the next ten minutes or so, I explained what all had happened to us in the Shadow World. I told Ariel about Zilla and Tenebris and the Shining Alliance, and how we’d helped liberate the Shadow People.

“You were busy in there.” The redhead crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “So, I’m assuming this armor is enchanted with black magic, then?”

“Precisely.” I nodded. “It was a gift from Zilla, a trophy representing my achievement, but there’s one problem … ”

“It doesn’t fit,” Ariel said through a grin.

“It doesn’t fit,” I chuckled.

“Well then, you’re just in luck,” she mused, “because you just so happen to have the best blacksmith in the universe at your disposal. Just give me a few hours, and I can have this ready to go before we set out for the Eighth Circle.”

“Really?” I gasped. “You think you can get it turned around that quickly?”

“I’ve done more with less.” The redhead winked.

“Good,” I sighed, and then I slowly drew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath, “because I’ve got another problem for you to solve. I had to melt down the Unhallowed Sword during my fight with Tenebris, and it got all fucked up. I tried to put it back together from memory but, well, you see what happened.”

Ariel took the weapon from my hand, inspected it thoroughly, and then frowned.

“Oh, dear,” she sighed, “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Ariel,” I said as I turned back to the door, “I’ll let you get back to your workout.”

“What, that?” the angel laughed and pointed to the pull-up bars. “That was just my mid-afternoon sets. I only do one-hundred, so it’s not even a full workout.”

“Whatever it is, I appreciate you having such a great body.”

“Oh, thank you, my king,” she giggled.

“No, thank you.” I glanced down at her athletic body, shook my head, and sauntered back to the exit.

“No problem, Jacob,” the redhead called out. “You know my door is always open. For weapons repairs and other activities … ”

“I’ll be back,” I retorted as playfully as I could.

“For the weapons and armor?” Ariel cooed. “Or for something else?”

“We’ll see when it happens.” I smirked and shrugged, and then I slid through the doorway.

I sighed as I cracked my neck and mentally went down my to-do list. I still needed to get back to the castle and prepare for the arrival of my allies. Just before we’d set off for the Shadow World, I’d sent Mirage and Sia off to gather up all of my allied Demon Kings. If we were about to launch an assault on Beelzebub, we needed to have all of us here, at one table, discussing a battle strategy.

Because when the time came, we were all going to march into Beelzebub’s territory and take him out once and for all.

“Jacob!” I heard Cupiditas’ voice call out from behind me.

I turned around to see the Sister of Greed running at me full-tilt, with her hand raised up over her head to try and grab my attention. I stopped in my tracks, and the next thing I knew, Cupi was right up on me.

“I thought I heard you talking to Ariel,” the blonde woman panted as she bent over and placed her hands on her knees. “Did you really think you were gonna get away without saying ‘hi?’”

“I fully intended to say ‘hi,’” I shot back, “but only after I got my bearings back. I’ve only been back for like, thirty minutes.”

“I left Daniel in charge of the training,” Cupi explained, “let me walk you back to the castle.”

“I’m not gonna say no to that.” I smiled and held out my arm.

The fit succubus wrapped her delicate arm around mine, and then we set off toward our home base. As we walked, I told her the story of what went down in the Shadow World.

“Holy shit,” she whistled as we came to the sulfur pits, “so that means we not only can pass through the Shadow World unscathed, but we might also have the Caliginis on our side?”

“Kind of,” I mused, “they’re loyal to me for sure, but it’s not like they’re going to come to Earth Realm and fight alongside my army. They’ve already given me more than enough with the armor and the Book of Bezaleel.”

“If we can unlock the secrets within those pages … I don’t think even Lucifer himself can stop us,” Cupi noted.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I reminded the succubus, “we’ve still got a long way to go before we can even think about facing that guy. In fact, let’s not even talk about him right now. The last thing I need is him showing up and spoiling my victory.”

“My point still stands,” she shrugged, “if you can figure out the spells in the last part of the book, you’d literally be dealing with spells that are on a god-like level.”

“Why do I need to be a god?” I joked. “I’m already a Nephilim. Aren’t those supposed to be super overpowered, anyway?”

“Stooooop,” the Sister of Greed laughed.

Finally, after a short yet hearty journey, we reached the castle. Then we walked across the drawbridge and through the courtyard before we came to the grand hall. Once we were inside, I saw Libidine and Gula were already there, waiting for me.

“Well, well, well,” Gula clicked her tongue and crossed her arms, “look who finally decided to show up.”

Meanwhile, Libidine wasted no time in showing her affection. The dark-haired Sister of Lust bounded over to me, swept me up in a strong bear hug, and squeezed me until I felt like all the air had been drained from my body.

“Alright, alright,” Cupi chuckled, “let the man breathe.”

Libidine sat me down on the ground and then blushed heartily.

“Sorry,” she apologized, “I’m just excited to see you, that’s all.”

“So am I,” Gula grinned as she strutted over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, “we were starting to worry you weren’t going to come back and were trying to figure out how we could rescue you.”

“I always find a way out of tricky situations,” I laughed.

“Speaking of ‘tricky situations,’” Libidine chuckled, “here’s one for you … Raphael called on the radio. He wants you to call him back in approximately twenty minutes.”

“Raph called?” I pondered aloud. “Alone? No Metatron?”

“No Metatron,” Liby shook her head, “it was strange, he was talking very quickly, almost like he didn’t want anyone else to know he was communicating with us.”

Oh  boy. The Archangel Raphael was notoriously friendly and open. If he was trying to be secretive, something really foul must be afoot.

“I’ll call him back in twenty, then,” I agreed, “but first, I want to know how things have been going here. Have any of you heard from Mirage or Superbia?”

“Unfortunately not,” Gula shook her head, “though we did receive another candygram from Asmodeus. He said it’d be his ‘Almond Joy’ to come to the Fourth Circle and that he’d be making his ‘Milky Way’ down here shortly. Something about being too busy at the moment ‘Butterfinger’ing or something like that.”

“Ughhhh,” I groaned, “his filter is almost as bad as Todd’s.”

“Worse,” Cupi shuddered, “at least Todd usually doesn’t know he’s making a foul comment. The King of the First Circle knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“What about Mammon or Ziminiar or Mephisto?” I questioned. “Anything on them?”

“Nope,” Liby shook her head, “but I’m sure they will be here, Jacob. Especially when they hear what this meeting is about.”

“Lilith and Eligor?”

“They’re hiding out in their bunker,” the Sister of Lust explained.

“Lilith wanted to lay low until we were ready to face Beelzebub,” Cupi added, “once that happens, there will no longer be any way to hide the fact she’s allied herself with us. And apparently once that cat’s out of the bag, it’s not going back in.”

“I just don’t get it … ” I pondered aloud, “Lucifer can see everything we’re doing, right? So, why is it such a big deal if Lilith is officially with me or not? He already knows.”

“Of course he does,” Libidine said as she turned to Gula and nodded slowly. “So, why even hide it, eh?”

“I feel like there’s something you’re not telling us, Sister,” Cupi snorted with a raised eyebrow.

Gula looked around quickly and produced a small piece of chalk out of her pocket. Then the curvy redhead bent down, placed the chalk against the stone floor, and began to draw a wide circle around our position. Finally, she straightened her back and stood back in her original spot.

“Protegam eum de terra perdere,” she mumbled, and then the chalk flashed with a white light for a split second.

“Thank you, Sister,” Liby acknowledged. “Now, we can speak freely. Lilith explained this to all of us while you were gone … She’s currently playing your father like a fiddle. Apparently, since Lilith was originally a being created by the Exalted One, Lucifer can’t follow her every move like he does us. He can only see her when she’s around those he can see, like you or Beelzebub. So, Lilith has been telling your father she is simply manipulating you, pushing you headfirst into your final battle with the Lord of the Flies.”

“Then,” Gula picked up the story, “she told him she was going to accept whoever was victorious as her new King, and anoint him as Lucifer’s right hand man. But of course, that’s all a lie.”

“Lilith and Eligor want you to emerge victorious,” Libidine explained, “and they intend to do everything in their power to see that you do.”

“I get it,” I nodded, “she’s playing the long con behind the scenes.”

“Exactly,” Gula confirmed, “the second Lucifer finds out she’s in kahoots with you, and that she’s serious about helping you take him down, he’s going to disown her. Maybe even try to kill her.”

“Then I guess we’ll keep this little charade going,” I said as I stepped outside of the circle, “now, I think it’s about time to call up Raphael. Let me know if any of the Demon Kings arrive in the meantime.”

Libidine gave me a thumbs up as I headed up the next set of stairs, toward the wing that housed my study.

Before long, I made it to the cozy, candlelit room, filled to the brim with books from all time periods of human history. There, on a small table against the far wall, sat the HAM radio I used to communicate with the Divine. This time, however, I wanted to make sure our conversation was truly confidential.

I summoned green Hellfire into my hands, encased it around several dozen of the titles on my shelf, and then levitated them into the air. Next, I formed them into a large circle on the ground and surrounded myself and the desk. Finally, I bowed my head and closed my eyes.

“Protegam eum de terra perdere,” I mumbled, and then the books flashed with a glint of white light.

There. Now, our conversation would be completely cut off from my estranged father’s eavesdropping ears.

I sat down in the chair, adjusted it to make myself comfortable, and flicked on the radio. I toyed with the dials for a moment or two, until I finally got to the frequency we normally used. Then I raised the stand-alone microphone to my mouth.

“Silver Falcon?” I asked into the mic. “Silver Falcon, are you there?”

There was nothing but static on the other side for several seconds, until finally I heard the familiar, flat voice of the Archangel.

“Jacob?” it crackled through. “Not so loud, Jacob! They might hear you!”

“They’re only gonna hear me if you have the volume turned up loud.” I rolled my eyes.

There was silence on the other side, followed by a high-pitched screeching that was immediately squashed.

“Fiddlesticks,” the Archangel growled, “I thought that was the volume.”

“Fiddlesticks?” I laughed. “What is this, one of them talkie pictures?”

“This is a serious matter, Jacob,” Raphael hissed back.

“Black Knight,” I reminded him. “We use our code names here, Silver Falcon.”

I heard the Archangel’s fist slam down on the table, probably so he could prove a point.

So much for being quiet.

“There’s no time for code names, Jacob!” Raph exclaimed. “I needed to speak to you about an urgent matter. It appears the truth about your heritage has begun to spread around Heaven, and, well … let’s just say it’s not going as well as Metatron and I had hoped it would go.”

“What do you mean?” I asked as my heart sank into my stomach. “I thought me and the Exalted One were cool? I was supposed to be his spy and shit.”

“And you still are,” Raph reiterated, “but you have to understand the Alpha and the Omega allying himself with the son of his greatest enemy doesn’t exactly elicit confidence from the other Archangels. It’s been a PR nightmare up here, and the big guy’s been trying to fix it for the last few weeks.”

“Sooooo, where does that leave us?” I questioned. “Is that why Metatron isn’t in on this call? He’s abandoning us?”

“You know how Metatron is, Jacob,” Raphael sighed, “he’s a…”

There was silence on the other side, and for a brief moment, I wondered if the signal had cut out.

“He’s a what?” I repeated.

“Jacob,” Raphael sighed, “didn’t you clearly hear me making a kissing face through the microphone? Metatron will do anything to stay in the good graces of the Exalted One, and unfortunately that means he’s sworn you off for the moment.”

“Of course he has,” I groaned, “I figured that broadly-built bastard would toss me under the bus the second it suited him.”

“Fear not, my friend,” Raphael continued, “for I, Raphael, the banisher of Azazel … the one who is over the spirits of men … the one who healed Abraham’s circumcision … ”

“Uhhhh, did you really need to include that last one in there?” I questioned.

“Of course!” the Archangel shot back. “The day I held the foreskin of the Father of the Hebrews in my hand was one of the best days of my eternal life. ‘No homo,’ as Todd would say. Anyways, I was saying that, even if my brethren refuse to ally themselves with you, I reject their position. I will stick with you until the end, Jacob Ralston. For I don’t see you as the evil, conniving Nephilim of Lucifer. I see a noble king, a powerful warrior, and, most importantly of all, a loyal friend.”

“You’re gonna make me blush,” I joked.

“Please,” Raph retorted, “you own The Velvet Lips. I don’t think there’s a single thing in the world that would make you blush anymore. Not after what I’ve seen your girls do on that stage.”

“What’s the matter?” I prodded. “You still get nervous when pretty girls take their clothes off in front of you? They’re just dancing naked women, Raph. They don’t bite.”

“Dancing?” the Archangel retorted. “They’re supposed to be dancing?”

“Wait … if they’re not dancing, what have they been doing on stage?”

Silence.

“Nothing,” Raph reassured me with an awkward chuckle, “they’re just doing normal naked dancer things. Nothing more, nothing less.”

I remained skeptical of the Archangel’s words, but whatever the girls were doing at The Velvet Lips could wait. There were much more pressing matters at hand.

“So, what happens now?” I asked. “We lose all communication? Heaven completely abandons us?”

“Not at all,” Raphael scoffed. “In fact, there are still many of us up here in Paradise who wish to see you successful in your endeavors. I’ve been going around collecting the names of your sympathizers on my PDA, and there are at least a dozen of us!”

“Your PDA … ” I said as I tried to hold back a laugh.

“That’s right,” Raph said proudly, “a personal digital assistant. My Jitterbug phone only has so much memory, so it can’t store all the names and information of the other angels. But my PDA? It has portable Excel, Jacob. Portable Excel. And you know what the best part is? It lets me send faxes and browse the internet on the go! What will they think of next?”

“I dunno,” I chuckled, “maybe a touchscreen phone that does all of that and more?”

“Nonsense,” the Archangel dismissed, “PDAs are the future, Jacob. There was one more thing I wanted to tell you about. Something that could completely change the landscape of our relationship.”

“Oh?” I wanted to hear more. “Do tell.”

“Well, once I saw the other Archangels weren’t too thrilled about your heritage, I went to Angelo Martatelli to see if he had any knowledge that could be useful in this situation,” Raphael explained, “and he told me there was a spell he learned back when he was still alive on Earth Realm, a spell rumored to be written in the language of the Gods.”

“Deorish,” I mused.

“You’re familiar with this language?” the Archangel gasped.

“I’m not,” I admitted, “but we now have a contact that might be. What about it?”

“Well,” Raph continued, “Martatelli claimed this spell would shield all Divine magic from those who could detect it. Even in the domain of dark spellcasters.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked as I sat up in my chair excitedly.

“I am. With this spell, the Divine can walk through the Circles of Hell, completely undetected by Lucifer or any of his minions.”

“Holy shit … ” I muttered.

That could be a total game changer. The forces of the Divine had never been past the Gates of Hell before. If we had this spell in our bag of tricks, we could bring the forces of the Divine all the way to the Sixth Circle without so much as a hint of resistance. And, if all went well in the battle with Beelzebub, the Divine could literally be on Lucifer’s doorstep before he would even realize they were here.

Raphael was right. If Martatelli was correct, and this spell did exist, it would change the entire tide of this eternal war.

“Jacob?” Raphael’s voice nearly screamed through the speaker, accompanied by a loud, high-pitched screech. “Jacob! Come in, Jacob!”

“I’m still here!” I growled back and rubbed my aching ears. “I was just thinking it over. If Martatelli can find that spell, send it to me. I know a guy down here who could translate it, and then who knows where we’ll go from there?”

“Excellent,” Raphael noted, “I’ll fax it to you the second I have it.”

“Why don’t you just contact me on this thing?” I questioned, “I don’t really have a fax number… ”

“I don’t know how much longer this radio will be in commission,” the Archangel sighed, “several of the Archangels want it completely destroyed, while others think we should use it to continue to spy on you. One thing is for sure, though. If you receive any further communications through this channel, it will not be with noble intentions.”

“Thanks for the heads-up, Raph,” I retorted. “Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

“Life would be much more boring, that’s for sure,” he joked, “but I must go now. Metatron will surely realize I haven’t been in the restroom for all this time.”

“Is that what you told him?” I chuckled.

“Indeed,” the Archangel responded, “I told him our steak must have been undercooked, because I was starting to feel somewhat ill. Then I excused myself and came in here. But the joke was on him. We’re in Heaven! They don’t undercook steaks up here.”

“Coulda fooled me.” I grinned.

“Farewell for now, my friend,” Raphael signed off, “the next time I speak with you, it will hopefully be in your new domain.”

“That would be great,” I admitted. “Godspeed, Raphael. Black Knight, over and out.”

“Over and out,” Raph’s voice repeated, and then the line went silent.

I sat back in my chair as I mulled over our conversation. Like almost everything that came along with the Divine, there was some good news, and some bad news.

If the Exalted One and Metatron were truly abandoning me, things were going to get much more difficult. Especially if I ever decided to show my face on Earth Realm again.

One the other hand, having that forbidden spell would make life a million times easier once we decided to go after Lucifer himself. Fuck, between the Shadow World and the spells from the Book of Bezaleel, I might even have enough power right now to march right into my father’s domain and kick his ass.

But I couldn’t get ahead of myself. Beelzebub came first. Then I could worry about everyone else.

As I pondered my predicament, there was a sudden pounding at the door, and then Gula stuck her head in.

“Jacob?” she called out meekly. “Our guests have arrived.”

I gave the redhead a slow nod before I stood up out of my chair and headed toward the door.

This was it. In a few minutes, my allies and I would be discussing our final battle strategy to bring down my mortal enemy once and for all.

Chapter 14

I was about fifty feet down the hallway when I heard the voices of my allies roaring from the War Room, and even all the way out here, I could tell who was in the room.

Asmodeus’ voice, smooth as butter, seemed to be arguing with the nasally, mouth-breathing voice of Mammon. Meanwhile, I distinctly heard the sound of Lilith’s silvery, beautiful tongue as it discussed matters with the wise voice of Ziminiar.

When Gula and I finally entered the room, I saw everyone was there.

Mammon’s obese, pale yellow figure was the first one to catch my eye. As per usual, the King of the Second Circle was completely naked, save for the loincloth tied around his bulky waist. This time, however, it looked like the demon was battle ready. The loincloth that covered his lower body appeared to be made out of a thick swatch of leather and then covered by a brass codpiece that screamed overcompensation.

Right next to him stood King Asmodeus, who was also dressed to fight. The Master of Love was decked out in a dark red suit of armor that clashed horrifically with his swampy green skin. Every single plate of the armor appeared to be bedazzled with miniature diamonds that shimmered under the light, and it was all topped off by a large purple feather plume that stuck out of his red beret.

Immediately next to the two Demon Kings were my Demon Lords, followed by Daniel and then Eligor. The ever-silent Mephisto floated up in the air next to them, with his eyes closed and his legs crossed as he sat deep in meditation.

Rounding out the large group of generals was Lilith in her golden armor and Ziminiar, the ungulate-faced Scholar of Hell.

“Damn,” I whistled as I walked up and took my place at the table, “I feel like I just walked into the Council of Elrond.”

“Hey now, bro,” Todd warned, “Lord of the Rings jokes are totally my thing, kapeesh?”

I shook my head as I rolled my eyes and gave the imp a once over.

“Where’s your armor, bro?” I asked curiously. “I think you’re the only one here who’s naked.”

“Not true,” the imp stuck out his tongue and crossed his arms, “The Great Pumpkin over there is half naked. And Mr. Tumnus is still doin’ his best John Belushi impression.”

The imp had a point. Ziminiar wasn’t wearing armor whatsoever, just his usual toga. Meanwhile, Mephisto was clad in nothing but his baggy, tattered brown trousers.

“If the battle gets all the way down to me,” Ziminiar chuckled, “we have much bigger issues afoot.”

I do not require armor, Mephisto interjected without opening his eyes, if I am foolish enough to find myself in the way of a sword or axe or stray fireball, I deserve what I get.

“That’s hardcore, bro,” Todd mused, “I gotta ask, does it hurt your feet walking on the razor’s edge like that?”

One of Mephisto’s eyes opened and glanced over at the imp unpleasantly.

You’re mocking me, aren’t you? he grumbled.

“No, noooo,” Todd stifled a giggle, “just promise me that when you get surrounded by enemies, you’ll say ‘Master, forgive me … but I’ll have to go all out, just this once.’”

Mephisto’s other eye popped open, and he shot Todd the most confused look I’d ever seen him give. Finally, the orange Demon King shook his head and went back to meditating.

“What’s the word, King Ralston?” Daniel spoke up. “What did Raphael need to speak with you about so urgently?”

“Raphael?” Mammon squawked. “You were speaking to the Archangel?”

“Ugh, that guy is such a party pooper,” Asmodeus sighed. “I used to try to get him to come to my annual Cuckfest Party, but he always told me, and I quote, ‘he had no interest in dealing with chickens.’”

Todd bit his lip and tried to hold back a laugh, but it was no use. The cackle burst from his mouth like water through a broken hose, and the imp laid his head down on the tabletop and slammed his fist onto the surface while he guffawed.

“It’s no secret Jacob is in cahoots with the Divine,” Lilith shrugged, “he is a Nephilim, after all. A being that can harness the powers of both Heaven and Hell.”

“He--He doesn’t want to deal with chickens!” Todd continued to laugh heartily.

“I knew that,” Mammon protested, “and I really don’t give a shit. As long as I don’t have to deal with that stuck-up, pansy ass--”

“Cuckadoodle-doo!” the imp interjected through gasps.

“Are you done?” the fat, yellow Demon King demanded.

“I-I-I think so … ” Todd sniffled as he wiped away a tear. “Actually, nope. Nope. I’m not. He--He fucking thought ‘Cuckfest’ was about chickens, bro. Like, did he think you were fucking Colonel Sanders?”

“Alright, Todd,” I sighed, “we get it.”

“Fine, fine … ” the imp snickered, “I was about to pass out from laughing anyways.”

“Thanks,” I nodded, and then I turned back to Daniel, “but first … Is this room secure?”

“We said the enchantment before you walked in,” Cupiditas promised.

“Good,” I noted. “On your subject, Mammon, it doesn’t look like any of us are going to be dealing with the Divine anytime soon. Raphael told me that the truth about my heritage is going around, and most of the angels aren’t too happy about it. So, the Exalted One and Metatron have publicly abandoned me for the moment.”

“Sounds just like them,” Asmodeus chuckled, “Metatron is an even bigger buzzkill than Raphael. And he’ll do anything to gain the favor of his little master. It’s like he’s a fucking sub, and the Exalted One is the dom.”

“That’s an interesting image,” Lilith admitted, “I’m kinda digging it, though.”

“Right?” Ira giggled.

“So, does this mean we can’t expect any Divine Intervention against Beelzebub?” Eligor spoke up.

“Unfortunately not,” I shook my head, “Raphael said he’s trying to gather up angels who are sympathetic to our cause, but there’s no way they’re coming down here. Not without the permission of the Exalted One.”

“Angels?” Ziminiar asked with a scoff. “Here in Hell? Do you want to get yourself eradicated off the face of the universe? Because that is the one thing Lucifer will not tolerate. Son or not, if he catches you bringing the minions of the Exalted One down here, he’ll have your head on a spike faster than you can blink.”

“Who’s side are you on here, Ziminiar?” Cupi asked as her eyes narrowed at the Demon King.

“King Ralston’s, of course,” the scholar shot back, “which is why I am warning him not to make such a foolish, fatal mistake. The Prince of Darkness may like to toy with his prey, but he makes no exceptions when it comes to the Divine. That’s a fact.”

“That’s why we wanted to keep you around,” I smiled at the goat-faced demon, “every good King needs a wise sage like you to keep his aspirations in check.”

“I do what I can,” the King of the Sixth Circle admitted with a shrug.

“So, the Divine have turned their backs on Jacob,” Lilith interjected, “how does that affect our battle strategy?”

“Not a ton,” I explained, “I was hoping we might have some Divine warriors on our side to help turn the tide, but it looks like that’s not gonna work on multiple fronts. So instead, we stick with Plan A.”

What would that be, King Ralston? Mephisto questioned.

“Well, as many of you may or may not know,” I began, “a few of my Demon Lords and I just got back from a brief excursion into the Shadow World.”

Mammon, Asmodeus, and Ziminiar all exchanged looks of concern when they heard my words.

“T-T-The Shadow World?” Mammon stammered. “How were you able to get outta the Shadow World alive?”

“I’ve seen Lucifer banish people to the Shadow World before,” Ziminiar reminisced with a shudder. “When they came out the other side, their bodies were horrifically mangled, as if they were torn apart by a thousand sets of jagged teeth.”

“They probably were,” I admitted with a shrug, which only made the Demon Kings look even more worried, “but there’s no need to worry about that now. Because the Shadow World is our ticket to defeating Beelzebub.”

“Are you insane?” Mammon protested as he slammed his ham-sized fist on the table. “You want us to risk our lives by goin’ through that place? I’ll admit, King Ralston, I agreed with your ideas up until now, but this is pure insanity.”

“Not when you’re the Savior of the Shadow People,” I shot back with a raised eyebrow. “The Caliginis worship me as if I am a deity, and the Shadow Queen has given me her word that our armies can pass uninterrupted through their domain. Now, would you like to doubt me some more? The door’s right there. Try not to get stuck in it on your way out.”

“Ohhhhhhh!” Todd mocked. “Take a seat, young Skywalker.”

Mammon’s eyes went wide and then darted around the room. Sweat began to bead on his brow as the humiliation sunk in, and then he grumbled to himself as he sat back down on the extra wide, reinforced stool beneath him.

“So, then we’re moving our forces through the Shadow World?” Lilith questioned. “Won’t it be difficult to guide an entire army through a place we don’t even know?”

I rubbed my chin as I thought about the Demon Queen’s question. She had a point. We could move through the part of the Shadow World that mirrored our universe, but trying to search for an entry point into the Eighth Circle with an army of hundreds at our back wasn’t exactly an ideal task.

“If I may, King Ralston?” Mirage spoke up and raised her hand. “Do we all have to travel there together? It was my understanding that your powers allowed you to transport people to the Shadow World at will.”

“That’s the thing,” I admitted, “when I teleport to the Shadow World, we appear in the exact location we left, only in the mirror universe. When I teleport back, the same rules apply as when I use green Hellfire … I can only teleport us to places I’ve been to personally.”

“Then we need to get you into the Eighth Circle personally,” Deja suggested. “I used to live in that terrible, terrible place, remember? I could act as your guide.”

“That just might work,” I nodded, “but what about Abaddon? He knows we’re going to be making our final assault on Beelzebub fairly soon here, but I don’t want to risk taking my entire army through the Seventh Circle. At the same time … I don’t want to let Abbadon know there’s nobody guarding my domain. That might be a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Then I’ll act as a distraction,” Lilith offered, “I’ve been to the Eighth Circle many times. I can lead a small force of our allies through the Seventh Circle and then tell Abaddon we are the invading force.”

“Won’t he think it’s weird I’m not there with you?” I asked. “I feel like that would be a dead giveaway it’s a trick.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Mirage stated as she flicked her bobbed hair cockily. “I’ll go along with Lilith and use my powers to create the spitting image of you.”

“You sure he’ll buy that?” I questioned.

Mirage clicked her tongue and shook her head.

“Ye of little faith, my King,” she sighed and then summoned green mist into her hand.

The mist spread from her palm, traveled down her body, and dispersed into a cloud on the floor. Then, right before our eyes, the mist shaped itself into a human figure. It was a tall, muscular man with sandy brown hair and dark green eyes. He was wearing a suit of armor with a dagger, sword, and what seemed to be a random ball of metal all attached to himself.

It was me.

“Two Jacobs?” Cupi joked. “Now there’s enough for all of us at the same time!”

“Does that mean I can finally have him--” Ira began, but then a tiny, red, clawed hand slapped against her mouth.

“Whatever you’re gonna say there, Crazy Eyes,” Todd warned, “don’t. Just don’t.”

“I’m impressed,” I admitted.

“I’m impressed,” the illusion of me repeated back in my voice, with the very same tone I’d just used.

“And if you think it’s still not convincing enough, watch,” Mirage explained before she snapped her glowing fingers.

Green mist rose from behind my doppelganger’s head and then engulfed it in its emerald embrace. As it did so, a helmet appeared on my clone and completely covered his face. Finally, Mirage snapped her fingers again, and the entire figure disappeared into a flash of green fog.

“That just might work.” I nodded.

“Alright, so then we have two teams,” Eligor tried to make sense of the situation, “one that’s going through the Shadow World to the Eighth Circle, and one that’s a decoy?”

“Three teams,” Cupiditas corrected the knight, “we will need a few of our generals to hang back with the bulk of our forces while they wait in the Shadow World.”

“I’ll gladly volunteer for that one!” Tris exclaimed as she lifted her hand into the air excitedly, “I’ll totally stay behind and wait while everybody else goes off and does the heavy lifting.”

“Sounds about right,” I chuckled, “but that’s fine. Tris, you’ll be a part of team three. The team led by Invidia.”

The gothic succubus nearly fell backward when she heard what I’d said.

“M-Me?” Vidia’s eyes widened as she pointed to herself. “Why me? I can’t lead a team … I fucking hate people!”

“But you love the Shadow World,” I reminded her. “If anything were to go wrong while we were away, you’re the only one I’d trust to navigate that place without me.”

Vidia bit her lip fearfully and then crossed her arms across her busty chest.

“I’m not a leader,” she sighed, “I’d sooner stand up and do a solo at Warped Tour than lead a freaking strike team … ”

“Damn,” Todd whistled, “embarrassing yourself in front of Taking Back Sunday? Elvira really must mean it, Jakey!”

“Come on, Sister,” Libidine joked as she smacked Vidia on the arm, “do it for our king.”

“Now, Invidia,” Superbia reminded her succubus, “you once told me you’d do anything to make Jacob happy. Is that not true?”

“Yes, it’s true,” the gothic woman grumbled. “I suppose … if it’s what you really want … I’ll lead the third team. Just don’t make me do any, like, inspirational speeches or anything like that.”

“Done.” I nodded. “So, Vidia will watch over the third team. Who else wants to join her and Tris?”

“Count me in.” Mammon sheepishly raised his hand.

“Me, as well,” Ziminiar added. “As much as I’d love to assist you, King Ralston, I’m more of a scholar than I’ve ever been a fighter. I’d only get in the way if I went with either of the other teams.”

“I’ve seen you in action, so I don’t believe that one bit,” I retorted, “but, if that’s what you want, so be it. Actually, I have an ancient holy text that I wanted to see if you could translate, anyway.”

“With honor, King Ralston,” Ziminiar said with a bow.

“Can I stay in the Shadow World, as well?” Ira asked. “I really wanted to stop by that dealer in Umbra and pick up some more Darkfisk. I’m plum out of all the toxins we got the first time!”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Crazy Eyes,” Todd offered with a raised finger, “but didn’t we get back just like, an hour ago?”

“Yes … ” Ira trailed off.

“And you’re outta Darkfisk already?” the imp continued in disbelief.

“Todd, you know me,” the dark-haired succubus chuckled, “when I go all in, I go alllll in. I was using four spines at a time.”

“But you had, like, fifty of ‘em!” Todd gasped.

Ira just shrugged and smiled. “A girl knows what she wants.”

“I’ll join that team, as well,” Eclipse offered, “Zilla is going to be skeptical of any newcomers, so the more familiar faces we can add to this team, the better.”

“I will go with Lilith,” Cupiditas suggested, “as will Daniel and Eligor.”

“That would be wise,” Eligor agreed, “you are both Jacob’s top generals, and I am Lilith’s sworn servant. It would look suspicious if we were not present at the battle.”

“We will also need another Demon King or two to join us,” Lilith explained, “Abaddon already knows we are allied with Asmodeus, and he also knows Mephisto is one of your appointments. Would you two be up for a new adventure?”

Always. Mephisto nodded.

“Ohhhh,” Asmodeus grinned, “isn’t the Seventh Circle the place with the harpies? The ones who don’t wear anything? I’m always down to see some dirty demon pillows.”

Todd raised his finger to say something snarky, but I cut him off with a sharp glare.

“Excellent,” Lilith continued, “so that leaves--”

“Me, Jakey, Clockblocker, Lib, Strawberry Shortcake, Pikachu, and Firecracker,” Todd interjected. “Or as I like to call us, ‘Jakey Jake and the Funky Bunch.’”

“As much as I hate that name, yes,” I chuckled.

Even though all of my succubi and allies were powerful in their own way, I’d been given the perfect team for an adventure.

Deja knew the ins and outs of the Eighth Circle and could hopefully get us in without drawing the attention of Beelzebub. Inpulsa and Libidine were both excellent crowd control fighters, while Gula could give our powers a buff, and Sia could heal us if we were injured in battle. As for Todd … he was our morale booster.

“It’s settled, then,” Eligor announced, “we have our three teams.”

“Hold up,” Todd raised his hand, “I’m not even gonna lie … I was lost, like three pages ago. Why do we need to have three teams again?”

“One’s the decoy team,” I explained to the imp, “the one that will go through the Seventh Circle to make Abbadon think we’re invading that way and keep him from getting suspicious. Plus, I don’t want him to know about the Shadow World. There may come a day where we have to use it against him.”

“Right,” Todd nodded, “Team one’s there to confuse Abba-Dabba-Doo.”

“The second team will remain in Umbra, with our army,” I continued, “meanwhile, the last team will sneak into the Eighth Circle via the Shadow Realm with a little help from Deja.”

“Then how’s the rest of the army getting there?” The imp stroked his goatee in deep thought. “If we can’t sneak ‘em in with us, then what’s the point of taking them in the first place?”

“Because,” I facepalmed, “once I’m safely in the Eighth Circle, I can teleport the rest of my army there instantly with my black Hellfire. That way we don’t have to reveal ourselves to Beelzebub until we’re right on his doorstep.”

“Ohhhhh,” Todd slapped his forehead, “the ‘ol ‘Surprise, motherfucka’ method. Why didn’t you just say so, bro?”

“When shall we rendezvous?” Lilith asked. “I know all of us have traveled far and will need to rest up before we make our next long journey. I know I, for one, am exhausted, and the blacksmith still needs some time to put her finishing touches on her armory.”

“I suggest we set out at sunset,” Ziminiar noted, “traditionally in Hell, it has been good luck to fight after dark. The Prince of Darkness smiles upon your endeavors if you do so.”

“I don’t think Lucifer is going to be smiling on us,” I joked, “but I could live with that time. It gives us what, seven hours? That should be plenty of time to round up all our troops, get them outfitted, and then recharge our batteries.”

At sunset, then. Mephisto nodded. If you don’t mind, King Ralston, I would like to remain here while I meditate.

“You’re gonna do that right here?” Todd gagged. “We just installed these floors, bro. We don’t need you getting your pumpkin seed all over ‘em.”

“Meditate,” Libidine hissed into Todd’s ear.

“Ohhhhh,” the imp giggled, “my bad. Totally thought you were talkin’ about something else. And by ‘something else,’ I mean ‘harvesting the old pumpkin stem.’”

“On that note, I think I’m going to retire to my quarters.” Lilith rolled her eyes, stood up, and then walked over to the door.

Eligor followed her mistress, and they both gave a farewell nod before they headed off.

“I’m gonna sit my fat ass down on the couch and watch some magic mirror,” Mammon announced, “it may be the last time I get a chance, and I don’t wanna squander it.”

“Uhhh,” Tris shuddered as her eyes gandered at Mammon’s exposed, yellow ass, “put a towel down or something first. And please, pleaaaassseee don’t sit on the right cushion. That’s where I put my face.”

“I’ll try,” the King of the Second Circle shrugged, “but I’ll warn ya, I’m terrible with directions.”

The fat Demon King stood up, turned toward the door, and waddled out into the hallway.

“Fucking hellllll,” Tris sighed, “I really liked that couch, too.”

“The Shades can make you another,” I laughed, “speaking of which … Daniel, I’m leaving it up to you to assemble my army.”

The Shade General stood at attention, gave me a firm salute, and then shot me a stern look.

“It will be done, my King,” he promised, and then he turned on his heels and marched out the door.

“If I may ask, King Ralston,” Ziminiar asked politely, “where is this text you wish for me to translate?”

“The Book of Bezaleel?” I nodded. “It’s in my study, in the east wing of the castle. It’s got a giant-ass red door you can’t miss.”

The normally-subdued Ziminiar looked like he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Did you say ‘The Book of Bezaleel?’” he gasped. “I’ve always wanted to sink my teeth into that one … I shall be in your study. If I forget about our rendezvous, which I very well might, please send somebody to get me.”

“I will,” I chuckled, “I’m just glad you’re willing to do this for me.”

“Are you kidding?” the goat-headed Demon King laughed. “There’s not a scholar around, Earth Realm, Heaven, or Hell, who wouldn’t be licking his chops at the chance to read the Book of Bezaleel.”

Then the King of the Sixth Circle hobbled out of the room like an overexcited geriatric, and I couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

“Welp, I’d love to stay and chat,” Asmodeus said as he used his diamond cane to hoist himself out of his chair, “but I’ve got some important business to attend to. May I ask where you’ve placed the brothels in this city?”

“Oh,” I shook my head, “the Fourth Circle doesn’t have brothels anymore. I decided when I took over that--”

“Avenue Six-Six-Six,” Todd, Sia, Libidine, and Mirage all announced at once.

My mouth fell open in shock as I looked at my Demon Lords.

“Thanks a bundle!” Asmodeus grinned as he strutted out of the room, probably off to fuck anything in my city that had a pulse.

“I thought I said no brothels?” I asked as I placed my hands on my hips.

“Jacob, you must understand … ” Sia smiled, “when you have a large city like we have here, this sort of commerce tends to pop up naturally.”

“Yeah, bro,” Todd added, “even Shades need to get their rocks off every now and again.”

“I get that,” I conceded, “but how did you all know exactly where it was?”

Every single succubus in the room turned and looked at Superbia. Once she realized what was happening, the Sister of Pride’s face turned beet red, and she stamped her foot angrily.

“Wow,” she grumbled, “just throwing me right under the bus, eh? Fine, I’ll admit it … I had a role to play in the red light district’s creation.”

“We have a whole red light district?” I gasped, which only made Sia’s face turn even redder.

“What can I say?” the petite redhead smiled slyly. “I’m a madame without prostitutes. Old habits die hard.”

“Man,” I chuckled and shook my head, “of all the succubi, I never would have figured you would go behind my back like that … ”

“Please,” Superbia scoffed, “don’t act like it’s some sort of big betrayal. Mirage would have done the same thing.”

“Yeah,” Mirage admitted with a shrug, “I probably would have.”

“She’s been bad,” Ira purred, “does that mean you’re going to punish her like the naughty puppy she is, Jacob?”

“Ira!” Sia gasped. “We are in public.”

“Yeah, Crazy Eyes,” Todd added, “plus, I really don’t wanna spill my guts all over the nice new tile in this place.”

“Fine,” Ira purred as she walked around the table, strutted to the door, and then looked back over her shoulder, “we can easily take this to another room. If you’d like, that is.”

“Uhhhh, meeting adjourned!” I spat out quickly, and then I ran over to where the Sister of Wrath was waiting.

“Hold on … ” she murmured, and then she turned back and motioned with a finger. “Superbia … Mirage … Come with us.”

“Us?” Sia blushed. “Why--”

“You plotted against your King,” Ira mused, “for that, you both need to be punished. Immediately.”

Sia and Mirage both bit their lips as they looked at each other, and then they slowly sauntered over to the door.

“Have fun at the orgy!” Todd called out as we stepped out into the hallway. “In the meantime, I’m gonna have a party of one. With my guest of honor, Palmala Handerson.”

There was a loud groan in unison from the War Room, followed immediately by Todd’s mischievous snicker.

“You know …” Mirage said through a sly smile, “I didn’t plot against you. But this ‘punishment’ sounds fun.”

“Oh, I’ve done this before,” Sia nearly moaned, “it’s beyond fun.”

Ira’s soft, tender hand grasped mine, and then she led us off down the hallway.

I was about to go on a little side quest of my own. If we were all going to be facing down certain death, the least we could do was go out with a bang.

Chapter 15

“Ya know,” I mused as I walked down the hallway with three beautiful succubi on my arm, “if this really is the last hurrah, and we don’t come back from this fight with Beelzebub … at least I can safely say I spent my last few hours on this world with three women I love dearly.”

“Stop it, Jacob,” Superbia giggled, “you’re going to make me blush.”

“Me too,” Ira added, “and my face never gets red unless it’s taken a beating.”

“I have to ask,” Mirage raised her hand timidly, “are we going to your workshop? Because I’ve seen the items in that place, and, well, I’m not sure I’m ready for those … ”

“Relax,” Ira promised, “most of those are reserved for when my Dom and sub halves are playing together. I know not everybody likes the same shit I do, so I tone it down for Jacob and anyone else I’ve been involved with. Our King and his Madame can tell you from experience that I play very well with others.”

“I’m his Madame now, too,” Mirage cooed, “you girls were apparently becoming too much for him to handle, so he needed a second pair of hands.”

“Oh, we’re all going to be needing a second pair of hands pretty soon here,” Ira noted with a grin. “I’ve been planning our next little play session for a while now.”

“You--You plan out sex?” Mirage asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Oh, Mirage,” the Sister of Wrath clicked her tongue and shook her head, “poor, sweet little innocent Mirage … Didn’t you have a Dom in your group? Surely Asmodeus, the Master of Love, has some of those in his Sex Cathedral, right?”

“Not in the group I was responsible for,” Mirage admitted, “all of my girls were role players, so they were more into thespianism than anything else.”

“Interesting,” Sia mused, “Asmodeus must have arranged his succubi groups differently than Azazel. The former King of the Fourth Circle wanted every pimp and Madame under him to have at least one of each specialist.”

“Huh,” Mirage shrugged, “that’s not how Asmodeus does it at all. He’s all about pairing the succubi according to different fetishes. We’ve got the ones for foot fetishes, some for bondage, some who specialize in talking dirty, and even some of the… stranger ones.”

“Wait.” Ira halted and turned to Mirage as her eyes went wide. “There’s entire groups of succubi hanging out in the First Circle who are into bondage and BDSM and all that? Why haven’t we recruited them to be Demon Lords?”

“One group at a time,” I chuckled, “I’ve only got so much love to go around.”

“Not in my experience,” Sia purred and stroked my shoulder. “There was that one time when you made us all Demon Lords … there was plenty of Jacob to go around that day.”

“Talk about a fun day,” Mirage grinned, “I don’t think I’ll ever forget that one. It’s a shame you can’t turn us into Demon Lords every day of the week.”

“Well, my connection with my succubi does get stronger each time we sleep together,” I noted, “but I already make sure I do the dirty with each one of you like, at least once a week. There’s only so much fluid that can physically come out of my body.”

“We don’t need the fluid,” Mirage purred as she leaned over and bit my ear. “We just need the injector.”

My cock swelled in my pants at the succubus’ seductive words, and my pants grew tighter against my erection.

“Uh-oh,” Ira gasped, “don’t get too excited right now! We aren’t even to the fun room yet.”

“Fun room?” I gulped. “Don’t tell me you brought more of your ‘toys’ into the castle.”

“Only in my wing,” Ira shrugged, “and the South Wing. But it’s only one room, I promise.”

“Wait, the South Wing?” It was my turn to gasp. “That’s my parent’s wing!”

“Hmm,” the Sister of Wrath stroked her chin curiously, “that’s odd. I thought I heard strange moaning sounds coming out of it the other day. I just figured it was haunted.”

My erection instantly disappeared, and I tried my damndest to not picture anything even remotely related to what was going on in that fucking room.

“Awwww, it went away.” Sia frowned.

“I mean, yeah,” I shuddered, “that’s what happens when you imply my parents are boning in the South Wing.”

“Oh, Jacob,” Mirage teased, “your parents are adults, just like the rest of us. How do you think you were created?”

“I don’t think about it,” I chuckled, “and I intend to keep it that way. Wait … please tell me we’re not heading to the South Wing. I’m not going within one-hundred feet of that place now.”

“We’re going to the other room,” Ira explained, “that’s where I hid all my best toys.”

Sia, Mirage, and I all followed Ira down the winding passageways of the castle, until we finally came to a small wooden door. On its front sat a small sign made out of brimstone, with hand-carved lettering that spelled out “Ira’s Room--Enter at Your Own Risk.”

The Sister of Wrath was giddy as could be as she reached down, opened up the door, and then motioned for us to enter.

The three of us walked through the threshold of the room and were greeted by the flickering candle lights within. All around the brimstone walls of the dwelling were varieties of torches and mounted candlesticks, each one with a thin, long red candle that dripped hot wax from its body.

“Are those for light, or for pleasure?” Mirage questioned.

“If you have to ask, you’re not doing it right,” Ira giggled as she stepped inside and pulled the door shut behind her.

The soft, flickering light of the candles gave the entire room a calm, romantic atmosphere. Long shadows rose up the walls of the dwelling, and through the darkness I could just barely make out some of the room’s features.

At the very center was a large, wooden table mounted on a swivel. Leather straps sat at each corner, while rose petals adorned its surface. Below was a wheel similar to a pirate ship’s, paired with a workbench that held various other toys.

And that was just the beginning. All around us, there were barrels, crates, and shelves packed to the brim with Ira’s goodies.

“I thought you said this was only a few?” Mirage gasped as she looked around the room.

“This is a few.” Ira shrugged as she ran her fingers along the side of the bed longingly. “In fact, this isn’t even a quarter of my collection. Now … who wants to go first?”

Sia, Mirage, and I all looked at each other and waited for somebody to speak up and volunteer.

“I-I’m not sure what it all entails,” Superbia finally spoke up. “You’re not going to hurt me, are you?”

“Sia,” Ira scoffed, “how long have we been friends? I would never do anything to hurt you. And I sure as fuck wouldn’t make you do anything I thought was too dangerous. All I’m suggesting is some light bondage, that’s all.”

“Oh, that’s all,” Mirage whispered sarcastically.

“I’m not sure Sia is ready for--” I began, but then the redheaded Madame held up her hand.

“No, no,” she offered, “I volunteer. Plus, I trust Sister Ira. Especially after all the wonders she showed me the last time the three of us made love.”

Damn. I never would have guessed that Superbia, the no-nonsense, logistical-minded madame, would be into Ira’s twisted fantasies. Yet, here we were.

“Excellent,” Ira clapped her hands together, and then patted the table, “just go on and undress and hop up onto my table of wonders. Then you can just sit back and let the rest of us take it from there.”

Superbia looked hesitant as she stepped toward the bondage table. Then she took a deep breath, reached up, and began to unfasten her garments.

“Here,” Sia ordered as she undid her golden choker and handed it to Ira, “put this somewhere safe, please.”

As Ira obeyed, the Sister of Pride slid her fingers underneath her crimson torso wrap, loosened it delicately, and then tossed it to the side. She was facing away from us, so all I could see was the succubus Madame’s delicate, petite back and her flat shoulders.

Next, Sia slid the band of her loincloth down to her feet and then kicked it playfully to the side with her right leg.

My cock rose to attention as I watched the succubus, and my eyes were firmly focused on her cute, small ass.

Finally, Sia turned around, and my dick grew even more solid.

She stood there in all her naked glory, with her small breasts and tender slit in full view.

“Holy fuck,” Mirage gasped, “I was not expecting that body under those clothes.”

“It’s a mistake most people make,” Sia winked at the illusionist, “but it’s a mistake they only make once.”

The Sister of Pride backed up to the edge of the table, hoisted herself up onto it, and laid back as gently as she possibly could. Then she took one last deep breath, closed her eyes, and stretched out her arms and legs so she was spread-eagle.

Ira didn’t waste a single moment. The dark-haired beauty went to work, and she moved around the table and fastened each one of Sia’s wrists and ankles with the leather straps. Finally, once all was said and done, she leaned in close to the redhead’s ear.

“Are you ready to have some fun?” Ira asked in a deep, seductive growl.

My cock was now nearly aching to break out of my pants. I wanted to walk over to that table, whip out my manhood, and fuck Sia until neither of us could walk.

Luckily for me, Mirage had other ideas.

The short-haired brunette was already licking her lips excitedly as she got down on her knees.

“We’ll let them have their own fun over there,” she cooed, “besides, if I’m remembering my experience with the BDSM succubi, Superbia’s climax will need to be built up slowly over time and teasing. In the meantime … ”

I stared down at the sexy woman, and her violet eyes stared back at me hungrily.

Mirage’s fingers fumbled around on my belt for a moment, and then she yanked down my pants and moved her head to the side as my erection nearly slapped her in the face.

“Watch it,” I joked, “this thing’s a lethal weapon.”

“I knowwwww,” the brunette moaned, “I can’t wait to make it go off.”

Mirage grasped my cock by the base and held it so firmly I wondered if it was going to lose its circulation. Then she gave my shaft a once-over with her tongue, but she stopped to make sure she licked off the precum that had accumulated on the tip.

“Oh, fuccccccckkkk,” I moaned, and then I gripped Mirage’s horns to steady myself.

The succubus leaned back, gave me a devilish smile, and then slid the fabric of her dress off her shoulders. As the emerald fabric fell away, it released the front of her garment. Mirage’s pert breasts bounced free from their fabric prison, and she jiggled them teasingly as she gripped my cock intensely.

“Just a taste of what you get to see later,” she purred.

Before I could even think of another snappy comeback, Mirage thrust her mouth forward and took my erection halfway into her mouth. The tip of my cock tickled the back of her throat, and her tongue slurped around with the chaos of an out of control firehose.

I gripped onto the succubus’ brown horns even tighter as my legs threatened to collapse underneath me, but that only seemed to make Mirage go harder at my cock.

Meanwhile, Ira was watching us with excitement on her face. The Sister of Wrath had one hand tucked inside of her snakeskin leather panties, and she pleasured herself as she bit her lip. Ira slid her other hand up her back, unfastened the crisscrossed straps that held her breasts in place, and then stuck out her tongue as her massive jugs were exposed.

“Mmmmmm,” Mirage moaned, and then pulled herself off my cock. “You got harder. Good job, Ira!”

“I haven’t even gotten started yet,” the Sister of Wrath purred.

“What’s going on?” Sia asked from the table, “I can’t see anything…”

“That’s the point,” Ira said as she placed her elbows on the side of the table and looked down at her Madame, “you only get to do what I want you to do. It’s part of your punishment, remember?”

“I thought Mirage is supposed to be punished too?” Sia protested, but Ira just shook her head.

“She will be,” the dark-haired woman purred, “she’s not going to be taken to a whole new plane of pleasure like you’re about to be, though.”

Ira bent over, took Sia’s small nipple in her mouth, and began to suck on it tenderly. Then the short-haired beauty put her teeth around her Madame’s nipple, pulled back, and yanked it softly.

Sia let out a short gasp, but then immediately followed with a moan of excitement.

Ira let the nipple slip from her mouth, and then she began to go down the petite redhead’s body, and she gave soft bites to her tummy as she went. Finally, she got down to Sia’s legs, and I could see the Madame’s pussy quivering with anticipation.

Ira moved over so she stood between Sia’s legs, and then she started to nibble up and down Sia’s inner thighs.

“Holy fuck,” Sia gasped softly.

“They’re really giving you a show, aren’t they?” Mirage giggled, and then she licked me up and down again, starting from the tip of my cock and going all the way down to my balls.

“He’s about to blow, Mirage,” Ira called out, “just watch this.”

Suddenly, Ira buried her face into Sia’s pussy and ate her out with the intensity of a pie-eating champion.

“Ohhhh! Ohhhhhh, fuccccckkk!!!!” the redhead on the table moaned.

Sia’s body tensed up as she tried to brace herself for Ira’s love, but the straps wouldn’t allow her to move. Instead, her tiny body began to tremble, and she laid her head back against the table.

She was at Ira’s mercy, and the Sister of Wrath was going to tease her into a typhoon of an orgasm.

But Ira was right about one thing. I was about to fucking explode.

The coil in my abdomen tensed at an alarming speed, and I felt my balls tighten up so strongly that I didn’t even feel them anymore.

Finally, I gave Mirage’s horns a tug, and her head pulled back as I unloaded myself onto her.

The brunette stuck out her tongue as I came with the force of a geyser, and her entire face and chest was plastered with my semen. Finally, once I had let it all out, I stumbled back and nearly fell over.

“That was quite impressive,” Mirage purred, “but what am I going to do now? I’m all dirty.”

Ira yanked her face away from Sia’s love mound, turned back to face us, and smiled from ear to ear.

“I can help with that,” Ira offered, and then the busty, black-haired succubus crawled over on all fours to Mirage.

The Sister of Wrath looked over the mess, licked her lips, and then began to lick her sister clean.

“W-Why did you stop?” Sia demanded through an exasperated pant. “I wasn’t even close to done.”

“And it’s going to stay that way for a while,” Mirage called back as she watched Ira’s tongue flick around her chest.

When Ira finally reached Mirage’s face, she wasted no time in pulling the madame in for a passionate kiss.

My erection must have enjoyed the sight of the two topless, beautiful women making out, because it quickly throbbed back to life.

Ira finished cleaning off Mirage, gave her a small peck on the lips, and then glanced over at my half-mast.

“You must have blown him really well, if you got all of that out of him,” Ira teased, “but I bet I can do better.”

“Not a chance, Sister,” Mirage shot back, “but go ahead and try, if you’d like. And while you’re doing that, I’m going to go see to it that Superbia gets what she needs.”

Mirage stood up, shimmied herself all the way out of her dress, and then tossed it nonchalantly to the side. Then the illusionist strutted over to where Sia was tied to the table, and her thick ass bounced with every step she took.

“Mmmmm,” Ira cooed as she watched my dick practically turn to stone, “the best is yet to come, you know.”

“Pun intended?” I said with a raised eyebrow.

“Very funny,” the Sister of Wrath joked as she stroked me and stared longingly at my erection.

Finally, Ira went in for the kill. The dark-haired beauty placed her hands against my hips, laid her lips against the head of my penis, and then forced herself onto it as far as humanly possible. She made a loud gagging sound as my erection went down into her throat, and her eyes watered intensely as she stared up at me.

But she still wanted more.

Ira let out a muffled groan as she slapped her hands against my bare ass and pulled me in even closer.

Somehow, some way, I was pulled even further into the Sister of Wrath.

My eyes rolled back in my head as a wave of intense pleasure shot throughout my body, and I could already feel myself inching closer to the edge.

Ira moved her head back a few inches, gagged, and then went back down. She was a glutton for punishment, but I could tell she was enjoying every single minute of this.

I heard Sia’s innocent, soft moans from across the room, and I forced myself to look away from Ira for a moment to see what was going on.

Mirage was standing at the foot of the table, with three fingers inside of Superbia up to the base. The brunette thrusted them in and out of the woman on the table slowly, while at the same time she had her tongue flitting across the redhead’s clitoris passionately.

“Wow,” I gasped as I watched the two women’s throes of passion.

Ira tried to say something snarky in response, but all that came out was a muffled slur of words. She kind of had her mouth full at the moment.

After a few more passes, Ira pulled herself free from my dick, wiped her lips, and sighed.

“Whew,” she panted as she summoned gold Hellfire around her body, “I think I need a break. I’m pretty sure you fucked up my vocal cords.”

Fine. Ira wanted a break? I’d give her mouth a break.

But I wasn’t anywhere near done with the Sister of Wrath.

“Turn around,” I commanded the succubus.

“Jacccoobbbbb,” she grinned, “I like it when you’re all dominant and shit.”

“Are you gonna talk, or are you gonna obey?” I growled.

Ira waggled her eyebrows at me, but she turned around with a spring in her step. Then the dark-haired beauty bent her body forward, laid her head onto the floor, and arched her back so her curvy ass was in the perfect position.

I slid over, wrapped my hands around her thin waist, and then slid my cock inside of her warm tunnel.

We both let out a moan in unison as I bottomed out inside of her, and then I began to pump in and out of her sopping-wet pussy. I started off slowly, but I knew that wasn’t going to be enough for the sadomasochist that was Ira.

If I wanted to show her the time of her life, I needed to go harder. Much, much harder.

So, slowly but surely, I increased the pace of my thrusts until I was pounding the Sister of Wrath with the intensity of a jackhammer.

“Oh, fuck!” she gasped as my pelvis slapped against her ass. “K-keep doing that! Don’t fucking stop!”

The sounds of Ira’s pleasure made my cock turn to iron, and I rammed her even harder.

Ira’s hands tried to grasp at the ground, but all she did was leave fingernail trails in the hard brimstone. She let out an ear-shattering moan as her pussy convulsed around my dick, and then she laid her head into the ground and prepared for the release.

The Sister of Wrath screamed as she orgasmed around my cock, and the sound of her pleasure rocked me to my very core.

I grabbed Ira’s waist even tighter, pushed myself inside of her as far as I could go, and unloaded my warm seed into her. Then I pulled out, fell over onto the floor, and tried to catch my breath.

As was usually the case with Ira, our love-making session had completely taken it out of me. We were both panting like animals as we laid there in our own musk of love, and my knees buckled every time I tried to stand.

“Y-You can’t give up yet,” Ira wheezed, “there’s still one more who needs your attention.”

Ira pointed over to the table, where Mirage was still going to town on Sia.

She was right. Sia had been teased this entire session, and she deserved to finally get her release.

And that release was going to come in the form of my rock-hard cock.

If I could get back to full mast, that is. I was so exhausted from pleasuring Ira, I didn’t even know if I could walk.

Thankfully, Mirage noticed our plight.

“Oh, dear,” she teased as she glanced back at us, “it doesn’t look like Jacob has anything left in the tank.”

“What?” Sia gasped. “Don’t you dare tell me he’s done. I’m sitting here, tied up and wetter than a monsoon. This only ends one way … with Jacob’s seed inside of me!”

“So demanding,” Mirage giggled, and then she shoved her fingers back inside Superbia.

The petite redhead responded with a hurried moan, but then Mirage was done. She slid her hand away from Sia, stood up, and shrugged.

“Where are you--Where are you going?” Sia whined.

“It’s not my turn anymore,” Mirage explained. “Now, Jacob’s in charge.”

Maybe it was the way the sexy brunette said her words, or maybe it was the fact I was staring at the naked, sweaty body of Ira laying on the ground next to me, but I felt myself regaining my energy.

Actually, it was probably just excitement over the fact that I was about to make love to the beautiful madame strapped to the table.

Whatever it was, I felt rejuvenated. I pulled myself back to my feet, walked over to Sia’s table, and hoisted myself up onto it. Then I leaned over so I was sitting right above Sia’s body and was staring straight into her violet eyes.

“There you are,” she purred, “I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”

“Oh, he’s been coming, alright,” Ira panted from the floor.

I laid my left hand tenderly on Sia’s face, and then pressed my lips against hers. The succubus’ mouth was soft to the touch, and her kiss tasted sweeter than the sweetest fruit.

Our tongues explored each other’s mouths as I slowly began to grind against her pelvis. My semi-erect dick rubbed against her clitoris, and the sensation sent a sharp tingle up my body. Slowly, but surely, my manhood grew back to full mast.

As soon as I was hard enough, I positioned my cock against Sia’s pussy lips, pulled my hips back, and then slowly thrust into her.

Sia was definitely telling the truth. She was so wet, I glided into her without so much as an ounce of effort. The petite redhead was tight as a new glove, and I felt my cock throb intensely as it pushed through.

“Fucking hell,” she moaned, and then she tried to move her arm to no avail.

“Uh-Uh,” I chuckled, “I’m in control here.”

I pulled back and began to nibble on Sia’s neck as I thrust in and out of her.

“Oh, Jacob!” she gasped as her petite body tensed up.

Eventually, I let my mouth wander up her face, where I kissed each of her cheeks, followed by her nose, and then her ears. Finally, I moved back down to her neck and began to suck on it passionately.

Sia’s pussy lips quivered at my action, and I wondered if all the prep work the other succubi had done was going to pay off. Superbia was already wetter than I’d ever felt her before, and she seemed to be reaching her orgasm much quicker.

At the same time, the sensation of her warm, tight pussy around my cock was something else.

This was fucking amazing.

Sia’s large, violet eyes stared up at me longingly as she bit her lip in anticipation.

“You should try this one,” I heard Ira offer from across the way. “I call it ‘The Jacob.’”

“Really?” Mirage scoffed. “That’s not even close enough to the size of Jacob.”

“It’s the largest one they had,” the Sister of Wrath shot back. “Now, do you want to cum, or not?”

I looked over and saw Ira was holding a massive vibrator in her hand, and she was waving it in front of Mirage’s face like a bone in front of a dog.

The illusionist shrugged and reached for the sex toy, but Ira refused.

“Ohhhhh, no,” she purred, “I get to use it on you.”

Mirage raised her hand to say something else, but Ira was already on top of her. The Sister of Wrath laid her naked body down on top of her Sister, moved the vibrator onto her pussy lips, and then slid it into Mirage as they kissed passionately.

Mirage let out a whimper, and I felt myself approaching the side of the cliff.

“Oh, my god … ” Sia whimpered as her body began to tense up, “you’re so fucking hard.”

That was the last straw.

I wrapped my arms underneath Sia’s, pressed my lips against hers, and then moaned as my entire lower body tensed up.

Sia’s body followed suit, and the two of us came together as we continued to make out like lovesick teenagers.

I finally pulled away, slid my cock out of Superbia’s dripping tunnel, and turned my attention back to the other succubi.

“How was it, you lovebirds?” Ira asked.

“F-Fucking incredible,” Sia whistled, “I want to do to this again. Soon. Very, very soon.”

“What about you, Jacob?” Ira giggled as she continued to pleasure Mirage with the vibrator. “Was that satisfactory for you, my King?”

“I dunno,” I admitted, “I’m not done yet.”

“W-What?” Ira gasped, and her eyes went wide.

“Take that thing out of her,” I demanded and pointed to the vibrator. “She doesn’t need it.”

“Hmmmmm,” Ira licked her lips, “I guess she doesn’t. Not when she has that fucking hog on standby.”

Ira pulled the vibrator out of Mirage with a wet shlock and then tossed it to the side.

“Awww,” Mirage moaned, “I was just about there.”

“And you’ll still get there,” I promised as I came over, took her legs, and raised them up to my shoulders.

I pulled Mirage in close, slid my cock into her, and let my massive, rock-hard cock fill her up. She gripped at her hair intensely as she tried to arch her back, but all that did was allow me to go even deeper.

We both moaned in unison as I started to plunge in and out of the brunette, and it didn’t take long for us to reach our swansong.

Mirage gripped her hair tightly as her moans became shorter and closer together. All the while, her perky breasts bounced happily with each thrust I made.

Her body was a fucking temple, and I was about to leave my mark on it.

“Oh, shit!” Mirage gasped and tensed up. “I think I’m about to--to- ohhhh, my god!”

The succubus orgasmed underneath me, and the sensation of her warm tunnel collapsing onto my cock sent me into overdrive.

I pounded Mirage as hard as I could until I finally unleashed my warm seed inside of her cervix.

When all was said and done, I laid her legs back flat onto the floor, pulled myself out of her, and then stood up. I tried to take a few steps, but my legs were so weak, all I could do was wobble over to the table and lean up against it.

“Fucking hell, that was hot,” Ira moaned.

“It really was,” Sia agreed, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a fuck like that in the entirety of my life.”

Mirage stood back to her feet and then waddled over to join us. With the assistance of Ira, she went around to the four corners of the bed and unlocked Superbia from her bindings.

The second she was free, Sia sat up and placed her hand on my naked back.

“Lay down, Jacob,” she purred, “you’ve earned a rest after all that.”

I wasn’t going to argue. That was the most fun I’d had in weeks, but now that it was done, I could really feel how much it took out of me.

So, I heeded the Madame’s words and laid down onto the table beside her.

“Room for two more?” Ira giggled as the naked forms of her and Mirage leaned over my body.

“Always.” I smiled, and then I patted the wood.

The two succubi grinned widely as they climbed up onto the table, snuggled up next to me, and then closed their eyes.

Within a few minutes, all four of us were asleep.

Much to my dismay, the sleep didn’t last.

“Guyyyyyys!” I heard Todd’s voice squawk from the other side of the door. “I hope you’re still not on your one-way trip to pound town, because we got some important shit to do.”

“W-What is it, Todd?” I grumbled as I sat up on the bed.

The three succubi groaned as they stirred and rubbed at their eyes.

“Bro, it’s almost nightfall,” he explained. “We got places to go, people to kill, and bitches to fuck. Er, actually, you just got done doing that last one, so ixnay on the itchesbay. Apeeshkay?”

“We’ll be out in a minute, Todd,” I sighed, “I’m sure the other Demon Kings can wait. I doubt they’re excited to run headfirst into the battle with Beelzebub, anyways.”

“It’s not Jabba or Prince or the Great Pumpkin who want you right now, Jakey,” the imp explained from the other side of the door, “it’s Little Mermaid.”

“Ariel?” I asked. “What could she possibly--”

“I dunno, bro,” he admitted, “maybe she wants to get in on the action in there, too. I don’t fucking know. All I know is she offered me a custom Krillin statue if I stopped beating off and came and got you.”

“Krillin?” I laughed. “Why do you want a statue of Krillin?”

“Because I relate to him, alright?” Todd snickered. “Little short dude who’s the wingman of the super-powerful badass warrior? A guy who’s got dashing good looks and could totally do everything the hero does, but holds off so he doesn’t make his best bro look bad? That’s totally me.”

“Right,” I mused as I got out of bed and walked over to my clothes. “I’ll head right over there. You can go back to smoking or wanking or podcasting or whatever you were doing.”

“All of the above,” Todd snickered, “all at the same time.”

“Uhhhh, your listeners are hearing you beat off?” I questioned.

“In all honesty, I’m running outta ideas for Tuesdays with the Toddster,” he admitted, “there’s only so many times I can interview the girls or take calls from Chort or even do my weekly weed testing skits with Slothy. I’m kinda going through a crisis of creativity here, bro.”

“Sounds like it,” I admitted as I pulled on my clothes.

“Anywho, I’ll meet ya outside the castle in like, an hour,” the imp called out as his voice grew further away, “Adios, amihoes!”

“Will you guys be alright here?” I asked the succubi on the bed as I pulled my clothes back onto my body. “I don’t wanna be that guy who cuts and runs.”

“We know where to find you,” Superbia joked as she laid back down, “now go see what Ariel wants, and we’ll meet you outside the gate in an hour.”

I looked back at the beautiful naked women one last time, and then I opened up the door and slunk out into the hallway. I made my way through the winding halls of the castle, out into the courtyard, and then across the drawbridge and into the mainland of the Fourth Circle. After a brief walk, I arrived at the coliseum and, more importantly, Ariel’s shop.

As I raised my hand to knock on the door, it opened up as if it were connected to a motion sensor.

“Hey, there,” the freckled face of the angel giggled as she poked her head out, “I see Todd got my message to you.”

“He did,” I confirmed, “it must be important, if he was willing to interrupt his ‘alone time.’”

“Todd really wanted that statue,” she shrugged and then motioned for me to enter, “come on in. I’ve got something to give you … ”

“I’m just gonna let you know,” I warned as I stepped through the door, “if it’s anything like what you gave me the last time I was here, I dunno if I’m gonna have the strength.”

Ariel turned her head inquisitively as she pondered my words. Then her eyes narrowed, and the corners of her mouth turned up into a sly smile.

“Oh, that,” she giggled, “unfortunately, that’s not what I brought you here for.”

I didn’t know how to feel about that. On one hand, I was drained of all fluid in my body. On the other … I could never say no to such a sexy woman like Ariel.

“Darn,” I joked, “did you want to show me the Shades’ new armor? I was told that’s what you were finishing up earlier.”

“Oh, I’ve been done with that for hours,” Ariel waved her hand, “it took me like, forty minutes to get all that done. But then I moved onto my next project … ”

Ariel walked over to her workbench, yanked away the large cloth that sat on its top, and then let out a quick “tada!”

There, atop the workbench, was Tenebris’ armor.

“No way … ” I gasped. “You got it done?”

“Of course I did,” the redhead scoffed as she placed her hands on her hips triumphantly. “Try it on.”

I walked over to the workbench, picked up the dark, glowing gauntlet, and then placed it on my left hand. Instantly, I felt the sensation of thousands of pins and needles pressing against my skin, as well as a tingle swelling deep in my gut.

It was a feeling I was all too familiar with. It was the feeling I got whenever I used my Divine Light.

This armor was raw power. And it was mine.

Ariel helped me as I picked up each piece and attached it to my body. The whole process took about ten minutes, but it was well worth the wait. When I was all done, the angel dashed over to the other side of her workshop and then hurried back over with a full-body mirror.

As I looked at my reflection, I couldn’t help but marvel at just how fucking awesome I looked.

The armor was pitch black with a hint of purple, and it lit up my immediate surroundings with its violet glow. Each piece fit my body like a well-worn glove, but none of it felt too tight or too loose.

Ariel’s modifications were perfect.

But that wasn’t all. There, in the center of the chest piece, the redheaded angel had carved my sigil.

“I hope you like it,” Ariel spoke up bashfully, “I know we didn’t talk about that at all, but I figured since it was your armor now … ”

“I love it.” I smiled.

“Well, then you’re gonna love this next part,” she admitted with a giggle, and then Ariel sauntered over to her workbench once more.

She bent over, and I stared at her firm, tight ass as she rummaged through the bottom shelf. Finally, the redhead came back up with a belt in her hand.

My weapons belt.

“What’s a king without his weapons?” Ariel asked as she handed the belt back to me. “Especially his signature one?”

I nearly fell over in shock when I saw what she was talking about.

There, inside of its sheath, sat the Unhallowed Sword.

“You … You didn’t.” I grinned like an idiot. “Tell me you didn’t actually--”

“Take a look for yourself,” Ariel laughed.

I quickly fastened my belt around my waist, reached down, grabbed the hilt of the Unhallowed Sword, and pulled it out of its sheath.

As I looked at the blade, I felt like I was seeing an old friend for the first time in years. The width and thickness of the steel was back to normal, as was its length and the inferoglyphs that had been carved into its metal.

This was the Unhallowed Sword, exactly how I’d originally got it.

“Wow,” I shook my head in disbelief, “I-I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Well, I can think of a few ways … ” Ariel winked, “but right now, we’ve got bigger fish to fry. It’s almost sunset.”

The angel was right. Now that we’d all gotten our rest, it was about time to head out into the Shadow World, and then into the Eighth Circle.

So, I sheathed my weapon, gave Ariel a nod, and then turned back to the door.

“It’s time to head into the lion’s den,” I announced.

Chapter 16

I marched back to the perimeter of my castle clad in my brand new armor and with the reformed Unhallowed Sword in my hand.

However, I made the journey alone.

The redheaded angel, Ariel, had agreed to stay behind to hold down the fort while we were all out on our adventure. Even though we needed all hands on deck for our final battle with Beelzebub, it would have been very unwise to leave the Fourth Circle with absolutely nobody to guard it. For that reason, Daniel and Cupi had agreed to leave a small brigade of my army back here, under the watchful eyes of Ariel.

Knowing my father, and how much he loved chaos, I could easily see him tipping off Beelzebub beforehand or pushing Belphegor to invade or some shit like that. That’s why the Shadow World was so imperative to our victory. If Lucifer really did try to pull something like that, I could send my entire army right back home with the snap of my fingers, and we could take out any usurpers that came our way.

My mind continued to race with the thousands of different possibilities for victory or failure as I continued my walk. What if Beelzebub was ready for us? What if he already had his army mobilized, and they were waiting for us in the Sixth Circle? What about if Abbadon finally decided to show his true colors, and he attacked my friends while they were in his domain?

The list went on and on, but I refused to dwell on it any longer. A lot could go wrong in this situation, and only a handful of things could go right.

But it had already been decided. We marched on the Eighth Circle now.

When I finally reached my castle, though, all of my worries came shooting back into my head, and I briefly felt the Caliginian armor began to glow more powerful with my fear magic.

There, at the front of my dwelling, stood my army and my generals.

My Demon Lords, Daniel, and the Demon Kings all stood at the front of the crowd, and they were all adorned in their battle armor and holding their weapons in their hands. Even Todd, who normally rolled without any sort of handheld weapon, stood there with a miniature knife in his hand and an oversized cigar in his mouth.

Behind them were the Shades of the Fourth Circle, regular humans in their past lives who had been so touched by my emancipation that they’d taken up arms and sworn their loyalty to me as soldiers. They were accountants, scholars, mechanics, and tradesmen in their past lives, but now, thanks to Daniel and Cupi, they were a large band of unkillable warriors.

And they were all ready to fight for me.

“Daaaammmmn, Gina!” Todd grumbled in an overly-rough voice. “And I thought your last armor was badass.”

“Is that--Caliginian Armor?” Ziminiar the scholar gasped. “I haven’t seen that since … well, the Shadow of Death.”

“Tenebris is dead,” I announced proudly, “but the Shadow of Death still lives on. I am the Shadow of Death.”

“Welp,” Invidia sighed with pleasure, “I’m pretty sure I need a new set of panties now.”

“Ewwwwww,” Todd gagged, and the action caused his cigar to fly out of his mouth like a cartoon bullet. “I’ll take ‘things I didn’t need to hear’ for four-hundred, Alex.”

“I mean … ” Eclipse added as she cleared her throat, “that armor is quite flattering.”

“It’s pretty cool,” Inpulsa shrugged, “definitely cooler on Jacob than Tetris or whatever the fuck that bitch’s name was.”

There was silence in the air as all of my soldiers marveled at my new outfit until finally, the quietness was broken up by Todd.

“Speeeeeeech!” he whisper-yelled. “Speeeeeeeech!”

“I dunno,” I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head, “I’m not great at giving--”

“We were there before the fight with Uriel,” Cupiditas spoke up with a smirk, “I know damn well you can make a great speech.”

Fine. I guess it was time for me to do my stereotypical “Kingly Duties.”

So, I summoned green Hellfire around my body, and then I slowly lifted myself up into the air so everybody could hear me. As I rose, the crowd erupted into chants and cheers, but after a few moments, I silenced my army with a wave of my hand.

“Well … ” I began awkwardly, “here we are. It’s been nearly a year since I killed that bastard Azazel and freed you all from his torment. Some of you have been with me since that first day, and others have only recently joined the fray. Hell, some of you here have been with me since I fucking discovered the entire existence of Heaven and Hell and the paranormal … Whoever you are, I thank you for your loyalty. You’ve all been beyond awesome, and whatever happens in the next few hours, know that I will be eternally grateful for your contribution. I hope I can tell each and every one of you this in person, once this conquest is over and the Lord of the Flies’ army has been crushed under our might!”

The crowd erupted into cheers once more, followed by chants of “King Ralston!”

I fluttered back down to the ground while my friends hailed my name, and then I deactivated my spell and walked over to address my generals and allies.

“Short, sweet, and to the point,” Sia mused with a smile. “It was excellent.”

“Yeah, bro,” Todd added, “I would totally go and strangle a giraffe right now if you asked me to. Fucking goosebumps, bro. Goose. Bumps.”

“A giraffe?” Libidine questioned. “Why such a specific animal?”

“Have you seen their necks, Lib?” the imp shot back. “They’re like, twice the length of my schlong, and equally as thick. My little imp hands have enough trouble getting around that thing, so could you imagine how hard it would be for me to strangle a giraffe?”

“I’d rather not imagine it.” The Sister of Lust shuddered.

“Anyways, I’d totally do it for Jakey here,” Todd noted. “I’d do anything for my best bro. No homo.”

“You and your ‘No Homo.’” Lilith rolled her eyes. “That’s been your go-to phrase for years, hasn’t it? You were saying it back when I was pretending to be Tamira.”

“Of course it’s my go-to thing,” Todd scoffed. “How else are people gonna know I’m as straight as a razor blade? Like, I get that my straightness can be intimidating to everyone, but it’s just who I am, Scully.”

“As straight as a unicorn horn?” Gula giggled.

“Damn straight, Firecracker,” the imp shot back.

“Straight as my stiletto heels?” Ira added. “The flat ones I use to crush people’s balls?”

“Uhhh, sure,” Todd shrugged, “but I think that one might require a ‘no homo’ … ”

“He’s as straight as the razor blade I use to--” Invidia started, but Todd cut her off with a gasp.

“Jesus, Elvira!” he said in horror. “We don’t need to get that dark around here. Todd and Friends is a family TV show.”

“ … Shave my legs,” Vidia finished with a raised eyebrow. “What the fuck did you think I was going to say? And also, what kind of family would watch a TV show about Jacob having sex with his succubi and ruling hell?”

Todd’s mouth pursed, and he shook his head vehemently.

“Your legs, yep,” he lied, “that’s totally what I thought you were gonna say. Also, my show would totally work in the TGIF time slot. Double also: I’m as straight as when the NWO came outta Compton.”

“As straight as RuPaul giving her contestants critiques?” Deja interjected.

“I dunno who this ‘Rupaul’ chick is, Clockblocker,” Todd admitted, “but she sounds like a straight shooter.”

“Oh,” I chuckled, “she ‘shoots straight’ alright … ”

“I bet she’s hot as fuck, too,” Todd pondered. “Chicks with exotic names always are.”

“Well, okay, then,” I snickered.

“Yes!” Deja jumped up and down for joy. “Perhaps if we ever get back to Earth Realm, we can binge the entire series!”

“You humans and succubi are strange,” Asmodeus noted as he looked at his fingernails nonchalantly, “with your ‘television’ and ‘binging’ and all that. Me and Asmomini have all the entertainment we could ever need, right in our Cathedral.”

“Asmomini?” Todd asked.

“Bro,” I warned, “you probably don’t want to know--”

“That’s what I call my penis,” the King of the First Circle explained with a shrug.

Todd stared at the green-skinned demon for a moment, then he slowly turned and shot me a look of horror.

“I think I’m gonna max out that Jeopardy category today, bro.” He shuddered. “What’s next? Is Jabba over there gonna tell me he needs assistants to lift his folds so he can shit?”

“Excuse me?” Mammon growled. “I can hear you, ya know.”

“Oh, sorry,” Todd apologized, “I thought you only spoke Huttese. No cha pookey.”

Mammon’s eyes narrowed as he tried to intimidate the imp, but it just looked like he was trying to hold back a bout of gas. Finally, the King of the Second Circle returned his gaze to me.

“Are we going to get a move on it soon?” the obese demon questioned. “These legs can only hold me for so long at a single time … I knew I should have brought my rascal.”

Todd opened his mouth to make a snarky comment, but I shot him a dirty look to keep him from talking.

“Yeah,” I promised, “in fact, I think it’s time to go right now, before anyone decides to get cold feet. Where’s the rest of you guys’ army?”

My army is composed completely of Shades, my King, Mephisto spoke up, and they have already been integrated into your own.

“Mine as well, King Ralston,” Ziminiar noted, “though I must admit, I had a hard time finding a large number of Shades to join our cause on such short notice. I only became king a few days ago.”

“Any help is appreciated,” I reminded the goat-faced demon.

“Shades?” Mammon scoffed. “Amateurs.”

Then the King of the Second Circle raised his chubby hand, snapped his fingers, and let out a deep whistle.

As he did so, there was motion overhead, and the sunset on the horizon was covered up by an incoming swarm of creatures.

“Holy shit,” I squinted as I tried to see what they were, “I thought you said you only had a few soldiers to offer?”

“They’re blocking out the sun,” Cupi snorted, “they can’t be too sparse.”

My mouth dropped open in shock when I finally saw what was coming our way.

There were only about fifty of the creatures, but they were demons with mustard yellow skin and large, round bodies. Their tiny heads sat comically atop their obese figures, and their flight appeared to be powered by wings that didn’t look like they could physically support the bodies they were carrying.

Each one also had a brown quiver over one of their shoulders, and a bow on the other.

“Are those … demonic cherubs?” I gasped.

“Bingo,” Mammon laughed, and then he slapped me gently on the shoulder. “They don’t look like you Earth dwellers think they do, eh?”

“Like William Howard Taft’s jaundanced testicles?” Todd shuddered. “No, we definitely didn’t think they looked like that.”

The fat little cherubs landed on the battlefield next to my soldiers, pulled their bows to attention, and then all let out an exhausted pant in unison.

“Ughhhh,” Todd whispered and made a disgusted face, “I don’t envy the troops that get put with them. It’s gonna smell like a high school locker room mixed with a sketchy massage parlor.”

Somehow, I knew exactly what Todd was talking about, and I shuddered at the thought.

“What about you, Asmodeus?” I questioned. “Are your soldiers Shades as well?”

“Waste my perfectly good Shades?” the King of the First Circle gasped. “Never! My army is made up of Incubi.”

“Whoa,” I muttered as I followed Asmodeus’ gaze toward the left side of the gathering.

There, clad in nothing but purple capes, metallic codpieces, and helmets, were dozens of incubi. Much like their female counterparts, the incubi appeared as normal humans.

Well, normal humans with godlike good looks, giant bat wings, and dark horns jutting out of their heads.

“Marvelous, aren’t they?” Asmodeus purred. “Don’t let their dashing good looks fool you, though, Jacob. They are some of the most ruthless, fearsome beings in the universe.”

“Bro, I feel like I’m watching 300 right now,” Todd admitted as he looked over the incubi. “Can I please ask them what their profession is? Pleasepleasepleaaaassseee?”

“I don’t think that’s a great ide--”

“Incubi!” Todd said in Gerald Butler’s voice. “What is your profession?”

“Fucking!” they all called out in unison.

Todd stared at the soldiers with a blank expression, but slowly a devilish smile spread up his face. Then he doubled over in laughter, fell over onto the ground, and began to roll around hysterically.

“It looks like the whole gang is here, then,” I admitted as I tried to ignore the amused imp.

“Then we should head out,” Lilith interjected, “the sooner we can be on Beelzebub’s doorstep, the better.”

Then the Demon Queen strutted out to the front of the crowd, turned around, and raised her hand stoically into the air.

“Everyone who is on the decoy team, follow us!” Eligor called out as she moved to join her queen.

Mephisto and Asmodeus looked at each other, nodded, and then got into position. The incubi and several of the Shades followed their leaders, and then Mirage was right behind them.

Finally, Cupi and Daniel gave each other a concerned look.

“Shades?” Daniel called out to his men. “This is it. You know the drill … one hundred of you come with us, and the rest of you go with your king!”

My trusted general clapped his hands together, and then the Shades marched with him over to Lilith’s team.

Cupi was the last to join, but she stopped to give me a parting kiss as she walked by.

“See you on the other side,” she said in a trembling voice.

“Don’t worry, Cupi,” I promised the Sister of Greed, “Abaddon owes me for killing Gressil. He’ll let us pass through, unharmed. And if something were to go wrong … if he does try to pull a fast one … you and my army will crush him like the cockroach he is.”

“I love it when you talk like that.” The blonde succubus shuddered, and then she pressed her lips tightly against mine.

Finally, she pulled away, regained her soldier-like composure, and then joined up with the rest of the team.

“Alright, ladies!” Cupi joked as she stomped to the front of the line. “Forward march!”

I watched as the decoy team headed off toward the Screaming Plains, toward the entrance to the Fifth Circle. They had a long journey ahead of them, as they still had to navigate the waters of the Fifth Circle, the desolate desert of the Sixth, and then the boiling blood rivers of the Seventh.

I just hoped they would come through on the other side in one piece.

“Okay then, guys,” I announced as I turned back to my team, “let’s head to the Shadow World. Gula, give me a boost!”

“Aye-aye, King Ralston!” The curvy redhead saluted, and then she summoned brown Hellfire into her hands.

Gula blasted the beam of the spell around my body as I closed my eyes and tried to summon up all the fear I could possibly feel.

It wasn’t hard. There were a million things that could go wrong with this mission, and very few things that could go right. As the images of failure and death flitted through my brain, the armor around my body began to surge with power. Finally, when I opened my eyes, beams of dark Hellfire were dancing off my breastplate in all directions.

“Holy shit, he’s going Super Saiyan!” Todd gasped.

I felt the familiar tingle in my temples as my bright blue horns sprouted from my head and grew to their full power. Then the energy of the black Hellfire lifted me up into the air, and I blasted its power out onto the crowd before me.

Finally, I closed my eyes and pictured the Shadow World in my mind, and then the world went silent.

Well, not completely silent, since white noise assaulted my eardrums in a dull, droning pattern.

When I finally reopened my eyes, I saw the landscape around us was stretched, distorted, and desolate.

We were once again in the Shadow World.

“This is the Shadow World?” Mammon scoffed as he waddled over and looked at the hyper-stretched wall of my castle.

The large yellow demon reached out and placed his sausage-like fingers against the wall, and then he recoiled with a loud yelp. Mammon shook his hand like a wet dog shaking its tail, and he grumbled expletives as bits of sticky black dribble flew off in all directions.

“Easy there, Jabba,” Todd warned, “ya learn not to go around touching things in this realm reeaaaallllly fast. Everything’s stickier than that special sock in my room in this place.”

“This doesn’t look like the Shadow World at all,” the fat demon protested. “Where are the scary monsters? The pits of bubbling tar that demons and humans alike are tortured in? The roads paved with the horns of slain demons?”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear,” Zilla’s voice spoke up from the darkness, “especially things that come out of the mouth of Lucifer.”

The Shadow Queen floated into position in front of us, and all of the demons in the group let out a gasp of surprise.

“W-Who are you?” Mammon growled. “How did you know we were here?”

“That’s Zilla,” I explained, “Queen of the Caliginis. And she knows we’re here because, well … I’m not quite sure how that works. It’s like a sixth sense or something like that.”

“I seeeeee dead people … ” Todd whispered with a giggle.

“The Caliginis are devoid of souls,” Zilla explained, “So, when we sense a being with a soul enter our realm… It appears on our radar very quickly. Like King Ralston said, it’s one of our many powers.”

“B-But s-she’s … ” the King of the Second Circle stammered, “I thought she was supposed to be a horrific creature made of pure black magic. Not a model with glowing eyes and a bit of ectoplasm.”

“Oh, you mean like this?” Zilla prodded, and then her body was engulfed with black Hellfire.

When the spell finally subsided, before us stood the Caliginis as she’d first appeared to me. Her formless shape stretched out with its short legs and lanky arms, and there was nothing on her face but a pair of triangular red eyes and jagged, deadly teeth.

“What in the bloody fuck … ” Mammon gasped as he put both hands on his face in horror.

“Personally, I hate this form,” Zilla admitted, “but it’s the only one I know of that scares the piss out of even the biggest, baddest demons in the universe. I swear, we could even make Lucifer himself quake in fear.”

“Doubtful,” Ziminiar mused, “nothing scares the Prince of Darkness, and nothing has ever come close.”

“You sure about that?” the Shadow Queen hissed. “Toss him into our world for a little bit, and I bet you’d see differently.”

“Nonsense,” Mammon scoffed. “Accordin’ to King Ralston here, you Shadow Folk couldn’t even free yourselves from a simple man with a sword. And you think you’re going to be taking on the Morning Star himself … ”

In a quick flash, Zilla shot over to Mammon, leaned in close to his face, and bared her sharp teeth.

“It’s amazing what you can do when you have the full support of your people behind you,” Zilla growled, “it leads you to do great things. Even taking down the worst demons to ever grace the face of this universe … Do you want us to test out that theory? I can have my people here shortly.”

“That’s enough, Zilla,” I said as I tried to break up the tension. “Mammon is my ally, the same as you. We’re on the same team here.”

“Correction,” the Shadow Queen grumbled as she floated back to me and transformed back into her regular self, “I am on your team, and he is on your team. We have a common ally, but that does not make us friends.”

“Fair enough,” I admitted, “but my allies and I are in need of your assistance for the moment. Do you think you could take us to Umbra?”

“Of course.” She smiled, and then she raised a glowing black hand to the sky. “Everybody hold tight. This might sting a little.”

A massive cloud of black Hellfire shot out of Zilla’s hands and dissipated across the sky. Then it slowly curled around each of us like a dark snake, until our entire bodies were aglow with the dark magic. Finally, our bodies began to vanish into the air as we were transported to the City of Shadows.

We reappeared in front of Umbra’s gates, and I heard audible gasps as my Shades and the various demons in our army took it all in.

“So, this is Umbra,” Ziminiar marveled at the structures of dark wood and stone. “I’ve read all about this place in the Dante Library, but Lucifer and the Exalted Ones’ descriptions don’t do it justice.”

“That’s because it didn’t look like this when they last saw it,” Zilla explained, “Umbra was built on the backs of the Caliginis and their leader, me.”

“It’s actually a really nice place,” I admitted, “if things don’t work out in the Fourth Circle, I could definitely live here.”

“Five outta five stars,” Todd added with a snicker, “totally would recommend. You gotta try the Darkfisk while you’re here, too. Just don’t eat the spines, or you’ll end up looking all fat and bloated with a mouthful of foam. Kinda like Mammon’s mama after her threesome scenes.”

“Seriously?” Mammon shot back at the imp, but Todd just ignored him.

“But for realsies,” Todd warned, “this place is great once you get past the creepy, ‘death and gloom’ aesthetic.”

“I shall take heed of your opinion, Todd.” Ziminiar nodded. “Now, is there a quiet place I can go to study the Book of Bezaleel?”

“I’ll have my men show you to our library,” Zilla explained.

“Just be prepared to go at a moment’s notice,” I reminded the King of the Sixth Circle. “The second we’re on Beelzebub’s doorstep, we’re calling all you guys to us.”

“And we will be ready,” Mammon agreed as he wiped his brow with the back of his arm. “Just … don’t take too long. My legs can only support my body for so long before my knees start acting up.”

“Bro,” Todd whispered into my ear, “if I ever get that porky, I just want you to put me outta my misery, okay? I doubt that dude can even find his schlong on a hot day. And do you know what I’d be if I couldn’t find my schlong?”

“With all the free time you’d gain, probably a poet or a musician or something like that,” I joked.

“By my prediction,” Superbia spoke up, “we have about three hours before Team Two reaches the Eighth Circle, and that’s if they don’t run into any issues along the way.”

“Will that give us enough time to find Beelzebub’s castle?” I asked as I turned to Deja.

“More than enough,” she shot back, “it’s a place that’s like, really hard to miss. But it’s a long journey.”

“Then we shouldn’t waste any more time,” Inpulsa interjected as she stepped to the front of the crowd. “Who’s all coming with us?”

“It’s you, me, Todd, Liby, Sia, and Gula,” I reminded her, “and Deja, of course. She’s the only one here who knows where the fuck we’re going.”

“It feels good to be wanted,” Deja giggled in response.

Team One assembled at the front of my army as I listed off their names, while the rest of the group hung back and clustered together.

“Okay, guys,” I addressed my army, “just hang tight here, but be ready to go at a moment’s notice. The second we’re all in position, I’ll summon you into the Eighth Circle, and it’ll be showtime. Team One … let’s get a move on.”

“Autobots, roll out!” Todd called out as he ran forward and began to make the Transformers transformation noise.

I simply rolled my eyes, stopped the imp with a wall of purple Hellfire, and then held him in place.

“Bro,” I joked, “you don’t wanna just go running off in the Shadow World.”

“Jakey,” the imp sighed as he struggled to break free of my spell, “we’ve visited the Great Pumpkin and Mr. Tumnus a million times before. I totally know how to get to the Seventh Circle at least … ”

“Right,” I reminded the imp, “but there could be Rapha Beasts or god knows what out there waiting for us.”

“Eh, Rapha-smapha,” Todd scoffed. “Those things don’t scare the Toddster.”

“Rapha Beasts aren’t the only things that will be hiding out there,” Zilla spoke up, “and outside of Umbra, the Caliginis have no sway. There could be Timentes or Artemalums or even a Malumaltus lurking in the darkness, waiting for some unsuspecting prey to come by.”

“Uh, what’s an ‘Artemammory?’” Todd questioned.

“An Artemalum … ” the Shadow Queen corrected. “They are creatures that look awfully similar to the Caliginis, but they wear colorful face paint and usually lure their prey in with a sense of comfort and humor.”

“Waaaaaaiiiittt a minute,” Todd gasped, “are you talking about a fucking clown?”

“I’m not familiar with that term,” Zilla shrugged, “but do these ‘clowns’ wear oversized shoes, strangely-proportioned noses, and murder anything that comes in too close?”

“Yes!” the imp yelped. “Are you tellin’ me there’s killer clowns out there? I’d be the perfect target … small and innocent like a child, with enough muscle to fill out at least four or five cuts of imp-steak. Not to mention the Schlongo. That thing’s so full of potent protein, it’s like a bodybuilder’s dream. Fuck, I could probably sell it in China as a home remedy for limp dick and make a few billion dollars.”

“See?” I rolled my eyes. “We need to stick together. The last thing we need is to get separated and then killed by a fucking clown.”

“I’ll lead the way,” Sia offered as she stepped up, “I just made this trip earlier today in our realm, so I could probably do it in my sleep.”

“Wait,” Libidine questioned, “how are we going to navigate between the Circles? We don’t have Charon’s ferry to guide us.”

“But we do have his coin,” I explained as I held out the small, circular metal object in my hand. “Once I power this thing up with a bit of purple flame, that should be all we need.”

“Will that work?” the Sister of Lust continued. “The rules are completely different down here.”

“It’s just a mirror universe.” I shrugged. “Not to mention, purple Hellfire works the same here as it does in Hell or on Earth, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t grant us passage.”

“There’s only one way to find out,” Inpulsa announced as she stomped past us all. “Let’s get a move on!”

“I always love her gusto,” Libidine whispered with a giggle. “And I thought Cupi was supposed to be the bold one.”

I decast the purple wall from in front of Todd and let him move around freely. Instantly, the tiny imp surrounded himself with black Hellfire, rose up into the air, and then fluttered after the yellow-haired succubus.

“Looks like our team’s leaving,” I chuckled to Zilla. “Thank you for letting us travel through your realm. Again.”

“No thanks are necessary,” the Shadow Queen shook her head, “it’s the least I could do for my savior. Now, go and join your friends before they run into an Artemalum. Your imp friend might just soil himself if he sees one.”

I gave the dark-haired Caliginis a nod of gratitude, motioned for the rest of our strike team to follow, and then took off after Inpulsa and Todd. However, before I could get too far into my stride, I felt the large breasts of Libidine press up against my back and lift me off the ground.

“Just like old times, huh?” she chuckled. “I kinda missed being your pilot.”

“Hey,” I admitted with a shrug, “I’ll never complain when your body is pressed up this close to mine.”

With Gula carrying Sia, the seven of us soared through the air until we finally came to the raging rapids that separated the Fourth Circle from the Fifth. However, the usually deadly water was as calm as an alpine meadow on a crisp summer day. Even then, there were still signs of the original motion and chaos of the Fourth Circle. The torrents of water were frozen in time as if they were hit with one of Cupi’s blue spells, and the waves appeared to be widened to comically large levels.

“This makes our life a lot easier,” Gula admitted as she hovered over the small waterfall beyond the rapids with Sia in her grasp. “So, we just activate the coin and then float down like we’re moving through a door?”

“Let’s test that hypothesis,” I agreed as I pulled Charon’s coin from my belt.

Next, I summoned purple Hellfire into my hand, lit up the trinket with its glow, and then held my violet-colored fist out in front of me like I was holding a rosary.

Libidine slowly began to take us down the waterfall, into the darkness that covered the space below. Then, once we were firmly situated in the abyss, she moved us forward.

Suddenly, though, my fist slammed into a cold, slimy rock.

“What the fuck?” I gasped. “There’s a wall here!”

“Uhhhh, that’s not supposed to happen,” Todd whistled, “you sure you’re not just using it wrong?”

“It’s a coin, bro,” I shot back, “I’m not sure how you can even use one of these things wrong.”

“Perhaps you just need a boost?” Gula asked as she summoned brown flames to her hand.

“It’s worth a shot,” I called up to the curvy redhead. “Hit me with your best shot, Gula!”

“Fire awaaaaaaaaaay!” Todd cackled as Gula blasted her spell down onto our position.

The second the boosting magic hit my body, I commanded the purple Hellfire into my hand once more, and my entire fist glowed so intensely that the entirety of the cave around us became illuminated by its light.

But the wall was still there.

Gula released her enchantment, and I let out a grunt of frustration.

“Fucking Hell,” I grumbled.

“Could we blast the thing open?” Deja suggested. “Maybe the Fifth Circle’s on the other side of this wall?”

“We could try,” I admitted, “but we’d only get one shot. If we were wrong, the whole cave could come down on our heads.”

“Maybe there’s some sorta bizarro Charon down here?” Todd pondered aloud. “Ya know, a dude who looks the same, but has chalky white skin and talks like he couldn’t pass first grade.”

“Not a chance,” I sighed. “There’s nothing in the Shadow World but the Caliginis and various Shadow Beasts. You can keep the blue kryptonite in your pockets, I’m afraid.”

“Pfffft,” the imp scoffed, “you and I both know that shit ain’t real. Like there could ever be a bunch of magic deus ex machinas that are all different colors and affect things in different ways based on said color. Not a chance, bro.”

All of us stared at the imp in disbelief.

“Todd … ” I began.

“What?” The imp looked around in a panic as he picked at his teeth. “Do I still got some Darkfisk in there or something?”

“Tell us more about this ‘Kryptonite,’” Libidine implored. “How do the different colors work?”

“Well, ya got the green stuff that kills the Prime Earth Superman … ” the imp started, “then you got the blue stuff that kills Bizarro Superman. Buttttt, if Bizarro gets ahold of green kryptonite in our world, it has the opposite effect on him and actually makes him stronger.”

“The opposite effect … ” I mused. “That’s it! We’re in a mirror dimension, right?”

“Which means the environment will be affected by the opposite of what it normally is!” Gula gasped. “But what’s the opposite of purple Hellfire?”

Inpulsa swooped down, summoned her yellow spell into her hand, and held out her open palm.

“Yellow,” she grinned, “it’s the direct opposite on the color wheel. It’s also created by hatred, the stark contrast of protectiveness.”

“The emotion that creates purple flames,” I agreed.

I dropped the tiny trinket into Inpulsa’s hand and watched as she snatched it up, turned toward the wall of the cave, and then unleashed a mighty blast of yellow flames.

The second the spell struck the wall, it began to rumble and crack, and then it slowly split down the middle. A moment later, there was a collective gasp of surprise as the rocky structure pulled open to reveal the sprawling blue oceans of the Fifth Circle.

All seven of us passed through the opening as quickly as we could, and then the doorway closed behind us.

“What did I tell you?” Inpulsa smiled devilishly as she tried to hand the coin back to me.

“Oh, no,” I refused, “you hold onto that. We’re gonna need it at least three more times.”

Inpulsa pocketed the coin, and then the seven of us headed off toward our next location.

Thankfully, now that we knew what we were doing, the journey through the Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Circles went as smooth as butter. We passed through the flaming waterfall of the Fifth Circle first and then on to the puzzle sarcophagus in the Sixth.

Inpulsa made short work of both of them with her yellow flames.

We were much more cautious as we moved through the Shadow World version of the Seventh Circle, though. Even though we knew Abaddon couldn’t see us, his larger-than-life presence hung over us the second we entered and made us proceed with caution.

Finally, after a long yet uneventful journey, Deja led us to a random spot in the flaming desert of the Seventh Circle.

“Here,” she explained as she pointed to the ground, “this is the backdoor entrance.”

“How can you be so sure?” Superbia questioned. “I don’t see anything here but sand.”

“Look closer,” Deja instructed, and then she began to kick away the gritty substance with her feet.

As the tan succubus brushed away the sand, she revealed a circular brimstone structure that almost looked like a manhole cover. It had a horn-shaped handle carved into its top, and the symbol on the front depicted some sort of cloud.

“How did you--” Libidine began, but Deja was quick to answer.

“I’ve snuck out of the Eighth Circle a million times,” the valley girl giggled, “I could totally find this place in my sleep. I will warn you, though … you’re gonna want your yellow Hellfire at the ready. The second I open this, you have to blast it straight down, and then we have to jump.”

“What happens if we don’t?” Gula asked.

“Just … jump,” Deja reiterated with a wince. “Try not to think about it.”

“Why would we even need to--”

In one swift motion, Deja reached down, grabbed the handle on the manhole cover, and yanked it open.

The second she did so, a giant, black cloud blasted out of the tunnel below and filled the sky with its cover. A loud, droning buzz accompanied the cloud, and I gasped when I realized what I was looking at.

It was a swarm of flies.

“Gogogogogo!” Deja demanded.

Inpulsa dashed over to the opening, shot a blast of her yellow Hellfire down into the hole, and then hopped inside in a flash.

Todd was next, followed immediately by Libidine and Gula.

Sia let out a scream as she leapt over the edge and plummeted down into the depths, and then her sound of panic fell silent.

Now, it was just me and Deja.

“Deja--” I began, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“Go, Jacob!” she ordered. “I’ll be right behind you!”

The swarm of flies continued to blast out of the hole, and it had now become so thick that I could barely see three feet in front of my face. I held my mouth closed as tightly as I could while the little fuckers flew around my head, and I nearly vomited when I felt their disgusting legs trying to crawl into my ear holes and nostrils.

I took a running jump at the manhole, flew over the side, and then saw nothing but an abyss of yellow flames below.

Welp, it was too late to turn back now.

My body became weightless as I plummeted downward, and the flies continued to swarm. Finally, I heard an electrical sizzle, and the world around me turned yellow.

The next thing I knew, I slammed down hard into rocky ground.

“Jakey!” Todd exclaimed as I felt his tiny hands wrap around my arm. “Great of you to drop by, bro.”

“Don’t … ” I warned as I pulled myself to my feet and brushed off the dust from my shoulders, “I’m really not in the mood for Dad Jokes right now.”

Suddenly, Deja’s figure appeared above us with a flash. The succubus caught herself on her bat-like wings, hovered downward, and then landed gracefully beside me.

“See?” she giggled. “That wasn’t so hard.”

“What was with all the bugs?” I gagged as I remembered the ordeal.

“Broooooo,” Todd facepalmed, “we gotta work on your paranormal knowledge when we get back. Maybe Mr. Tumnus can give you a one-on-one history lesson or some shit like that in exchange for a few empty cans.”

“Beelzebub is the Lord of the Flies,” Superbia reminded me, “a swarm of the horrid insects is a sign he is near.”

“Wait … ” I gasped as I looked around. “How close are we to--”

Then my mouth fell agape when I saw the castle.

There, on a large rock spire only a few hundred feet away, was a sprawling, cossack-style building.

Beelzebub’s castle.

“I told you I knew my way around here.” Deja smirked and propped her hand on her hip. “It would have been too dangerous to sneak all the way to the main entrance. I would have been caught by Maleboge for sure. Or at least caught by Geryon. He’s such a tattletale.”

“Uhhh, are those creatures we need to be worried about?” I asked.

“Not necessarily,” she admitted, “they are both guardians of this place, but they will only fight if provoked. Or if their master is slain.”

“Ah,” Todd noted, “so they’re sequel fodder. Got it.”

I took a minute to survey our surroundings, and it struck me just how massive the Eighth Circle was.

The entire landscape was made up of nothing but oversized stalagmites that stood hundreds of feet in the air and must have been a mile or so wide. Each one was connected by a rickety wooden bridge, and many of them were completely desolate. Below, I could see nothing but darkness.

“Welcome to my old home,” Deja sighed, “lovely, isn’t it?”

“It looks like just about any other Circle of Hell,” I joked, “but that’ll change once we get rid of the lanky bastard in charge.”

“My question is … where is Beelzebub’s army?” Sia pondered. “I thought he had thousands of soldiers, yet the area around his castle is completely desolate.”

“Maybe he was bluffing?” Inpulsa suggested.

“If only he’d be so bold,” Deja scoffed. “I’ve seen his army first hand, and it’s only grown with all the Daeva he’s recruited along the way.”

“Well, at least we have the element of surprise on our side,” I reminded them. “If we work fast enough, we can have the entire army on his doorstep before he even realizes.”

“What are we waiting for, then?” Inpulsa demanded. “Let’s go kick his ass!”

“I know exactly where he’ll be.” Deja smiled, and then she motioned for us to follow her.

We walked toward the castle, entered through its excessively-large double doors, and then sauntered through the courtyard. As we passed through the main entrance and foyer of the structure, I took a tighter grip on my sword.

I knew we were in the Shadow World, where we were hidden from the sight of the regular universe, but where were all the guards? Was Beelzebub really so cocky that he left himself wide open for an attack?

Either way, we were close to this fucker. I could feel it.

Finally, Deja stopped us in front of an onion-shaped threshold.

“Okay, Jacob,” she warned, “this is it. Beelzebub’s throne room. Do you think you’re ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I admitted. “Gula, remember the plan. The second we arrive back in the real world, you hit me with your boost, and I’ll call the rest of our army to our position.”

“What about Lilith’s team?” Libidine gasped. “According to my calculations, we’ve beat them here by nearly an hour, thanks to the shortcut we took.”

“They’re not too far behind,” I noted, “they’ll join the battle when they get here. We can’t sit around and wait, though. Not while we have this bastard right where we want him.”

“Ohhhhh,” Todd giggled, “Scully and Cupi are totally gonna Helms Deep this battle, aren’t they? That’d be badass as fuck, bro.”

“Let’s do this,” I said with a sigh and drew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath.

Then all seven of us entered the throne room, and that’s when my blood began to boil.

There, sitting in a large, brimstone, jewel-encrusted throne, was Beelzebub. His scaly black wings were draped over his body like a snakeskin cloak, and his dark green face was contorted into a shit-eating grin. The fucker must have had somebody to polish his horns, too, because they were nearly blinding in the limited light of the Shadow World.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Gula announced, and then I heard her summon Hellfire into her hands.

“Alright … ” I said as I took a deep breath. “On three. One … Two … Three!”

I summoned black Hellfire into my hands, shot it around my friends, and then commanded that we be taken out of the Shadow World. Our bodies went weightless for a split second as we traveled through space and time, but then my metal boots clanged against the ground of the throne room.

Beelzebub’s figure became animated, and his eyes went wide with surprise.

“Ralston!” he sneered as he stood up, but I was ready.

I felt a surge of energy as Gula’s brown Hellfire engulfed my body, and then I raised my flaming black hand to the sky as I pictured the rest of my army in my head. The ground seemed to rumble beneath us as I transported the hundreds of soldiers and generals across the dimensions, and I felt blood dripping from my nose.

Even with Gula’s boost, this was a lot of fucking stress on my body.

Suddenly, I heard a commotion from outside, the sound of cheers, followed by a battle cry of “For Wrath! For Ruin!”

“I taught ‘em that one, Jakey,” Todd snickered. “I’m so proud.”

Finally, once I knew my army was safely outside, I deactivated my spell and fell down on my knees. I couldn’t stay there for long, however, as Beelzebub was already on his feet and aiming his bow at me.

I quickly dispelled his shot with my purple Hellfire, and then I pulled myself back upright as blasts of yellow, red, and black rocketed through the air toward our opponent.

Beelzebub quickly wrapped his magic-proof wings around his body as the spells struck him, and each one bounced off harmlessly.

“Jacob Ralston,” he growled, “I certainly didn’t expect to see you here. My spies told me your army was currently still in the Seventh Circle.”

“Surprise, mothafucker!” Todd mocked.

“My whole army is here, Beelzebub,” I warned as I wiped the blood away from my nose. “It’s over. Maybe if you surrender now, I’ll make your execution as painless as possible. Maybe.”

The Lord of the Flies just smiled and clicked his tongue.

“Jacob, Jacob, Jacob … ” he sighed, “such overconfidence. Did you really think that I’d leave myself completely unguarded?”

The Lord of the Flies materialized his bow and arrow out of thin air, aimed it toward the sky, and then fired off a single shot. It passed through the roof as if it wasn’t even there, and then the arrow exploded into a small fireworks show up above.

Meanwhile, our entire team began to assault this guy with everything we had. Yet, Beelzebub’s thick wings were impenetrable from afar.

“How about you put down those wings and fight us like a man?” Inpulsa mocked. “Or are you gonna keep pussying out like the little bitch you are?”

“I like this one,” Beelzebub sneered. “New addition? I’m just evening the odds, my dear.”

“Evening the odds?” Sia asked, and her face creased with a frown. “But how--”

Suddenly, I heard the sound of rumbling coming from outside. Then the earth beneath us shook, accompanied by the sounds of falling rocks and strange, nasally growls.

“Something’s climbing up the stalagmites!” Libidine gasped.

“That would be my army, dear Libidine,” the Lord of the Flies chuckled. “Thousands of demons and Daeva, all with one mission and one mission only. To kill all of your friends and wipe your entire existence off the face of this universe, Nephilim scum.”

“My men are more than ready to fuck up your grunts,” I growled as held the Unhallowed Sword at the ready, “and we’re more than ready to kill you.”

“We shall see, Nephilim.” Beelzebub smiled as he pulled his bow at the ready. “We. Shall. See.”

This was it. The trap had been sprung, and Beelzebub had retaliated.

There was no turning back now.

One way or another, this was going to be our final battle.

Chapter 17

Before I could even blink, one of Beelzebub’s Hellfire-enchanted arrow rocketed toward me at the speed of sound. I only had a split-second to knock it away with the Unhallowed Sword, and then I had to go on the counter-offense.

I spun around, called forth red and yellow Hellfire into my hand, and then blasted a shot of shuriken at the Lord of the Flies.

Beelzebub chuckled as the shuriken stabbed into his wing-cloak harmlessly, and then he took aim with his bow once more.

Not this time, bitch.

I activated the red Hellfire on the shuriken, and each one exploded with the force of a tiny impact grenade.

Beelzebub’s eyes went wide as he jerked forward and released his arrow, and the projectile flew harmlessly into the ceiling of the throne room.

“Now!” I called out as I tossed out a large portal of green into the sky.

Todd, Inpulsa, Deja, Liby, Gula, and Sia all unleashed their spell of choice into the swirling emerald vortex, and then I made the other end appear right in front of Beelzebub’s exposed body.

The Lord of the Flies let out a yelp of pain as he was lit up with an electric spell, followed immediately by red fireballs and yellow daggers. Beelzebub’s body was violently thrown back into his chair, and it shattered the brimstone structure into a million pieces. The Demon King was quick to get back on his feet, though, and now he wore a look of wild anger on his normally-stoic face.

“So, it’s not just the fancy armor that’s new,” he spat, “you’ve been training.”

“We all have, Brundlefly,” Todd warned, “because you’ve already outlived your regular lifecycle!”

“That was actually pretty clever,” Libidine admitted.

“Really?” Todd asked nonchalantly. “Because I totally thought you were all gonna think it was lame.”

“Fight now, banter later!” I ordered as I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands.

Thanks to Cupi’s training, I knew exactly what Beelzebub was going to do before he even did it.

The Lord of the Flies hopped up to his feet, tossed his razor-sharp wings out parallel to the ground, and then began to spin rapidly to create a living buzzsaw. Beelzebub shot toward us like a deadly top, but I was able to throw up my purple barrier just before he turned us all into mincemeat.

I let out a brief gasp as the demon’s wings hit my shield and sliced it clean in two. I only had a split-second to react, so I threw down a portal of green Hellfire beneath all of my team. We fell through the interdimensional portal, reappeared behind the King of the Eighth Circle, and then took a fighting stance.

“Well, that’s new,” Gula snarked as she summoned her double-sided battle axe into her hands.

“How is that possible?” Sia gasped. “Your shields are usually impenetrable.”

Beelzebub’s momentum came to a halt, and then he came up with the shot of a Hellfire arrow.

“I’ve been training too, Nephilim,” Beelzebub mocked as he released the attack.

Superbia caught the projectile with her black Hellfire, flipped it around, and sent it right back at the King of the Eighth Circle.

The green-skinned demon flicked the arrow away with one of his wings, raised four more to his bow, and then launched them into the sky. All four of the arrows shot off in different directions, almost as if they were each being controlled by a different entity.

Todd flitted up and out of the way of the first one, while Libidine cartwheeled away from the second. The third arrow was headed straight for Inpulsa, but the yellow-haired woman blasted it at near point-blank range with her black lightning.

The last one was aimed at Deja, but the valley girl was able to quickly duplicate herself. Instead of striking her between the eyes, the arrow passed harmlessly between the two figures of the tan succubus.

“So, it is you,” Beelzebub grinned, “I knew you were gone, but I never would have pegged you for one of Ralston’s little playthings, Deja. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you slept your way to the top … ”

“You--You knew I was gone?” Deja’s two bodies gasped in unison.

“Oh, yes,” Beelzebub mused, and then he summoned more arrows into his hand, “I always know. You aren’t as sneaky as you’d like to think.”

The Demon King ducked out of the way of an incoming electric blast, rolled directly into a spin, and became a deadly tornado once more. This time, however, he added another angle to his attack. As he spun, flaming arrows shot out in all directions.

“Holy shit, bro!” Todd gasped. “He went full on Tasmanian Devil!”

I threw out a shield of purple to knock away an incoming arrow, and my friends all ducked out of the way of the flying projectiles.

Unfortunately, that was exactly what he wanted us to do.

My stomach fell into my knees as I recomposed myself and saw Beelzebub’s razor-sharp wings headed right at Libidine.

“Liby!” I called out in warning, but it was no use.

If I didn’t act quickly, Libidine was going to be decapitated.

That’s when I saw the metal beams in the ceiling.

So, I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, tossed it over the dark metal poles, liquified them, and then yanked them to the side.

The brimstone ceiling that the beams had normally held in place cracked and then crumbled into a massive pile of rubble.

Directly between Beelzebub and his target.

The demon buzzsaw hit the rocks, and bits of shrapnel flew into the air as he tore through them like a steam-powered drill.

However, it was enough of a distraction to save Liby, and the Sister of Lust let out a yell of frustration as she tumbled out of the way.

Beelzebub came through the other side of the debris an instant later, and his wings just barely missed Liby’s feet.

“We have to slow him down!” Sia commanded. “We’ll never be able to defeat him if he’s bouncing around the room like this!”

“Inpulsa! Gula!” I ordered the two succubi as I looked at the liquified metal in the air. “I’m gonna turn him into a giant conduit!”

Gula summoned brown Hellfire into her hands, blasted it around Inpulsa, and then watched in awe as the yellow-haired beauty created a shield of yellow flames around her whole body.

I took aim at the spinning Beelzebub and then commanded the metallic liquid to his position. At the same time, I enchanted the metal with red Hellfire.

I wanted this bastard to burn.

The silvery liquid rained down on Beelzebub like a waterfall of molten metal, and it sizzled as it drenched his body in its embrace. It hardened the instant I removed my enchantment, and Beelzebub’s momentum slowed to a crawl.

“Now!” I called out, and then Inpulsa’s super-powered shot of electricity blasted past my body.

It struck Beelzebub head-on, and the fucker was lit up like a Christmas tree. The Lord of the Flies seized when the electricity hit him, and then he lost his balance and went tumbling across the floor of the throne room. He tried to jump back to his feet, but Todd was already on the offensive.

“Eat my flaming balls, Brundlefly!” the imp cackled as he tossed down tiny black fireballs.

The projectiles struck the ground around the Demon King, exploded into a blinding flash, and caused him to miss the landing.

Beelzebub let out a growl of frustration as he crashed into the wall of his castle, and his bulk sent a massive crack up the side.

Before he could retaliate, Deja’s spear and chain wrapped around his wrist and jerked him forward.

Too bad Beelzebub had other plans.

The King of the Eighth Circle regained his balance, grabbed the chain, and yanked Deja straight toward him. He sneered as he summoned a red arrow into his hand, held it out like a skewer, and aimed it at Deja’s heart.

Instead, the succubus simply surrounded herself with green Hellfire, phased out for a second, and passed through Beelzebub’s body without incident. She turned solid once she was behind the green-skinned tyrant, summoned black Hellfire into her hands, and commanded her spear and chain back to her. Then she hopped up onto her former King’s back, wrapped the chain around his neck, and began to strangle him.

“Holy fuck, bro,” Todd gasped, “and I thought Crazy Eyes was the sadist.”

As much as I appreciated Deja’s gusto, I couldn’t waste this opportunity. Beelzebub would break out of her hold soon, but right now, his body was completely exposed.

So, I charged at the fucker as fast as my legs would take me, hauled back the Unhallowed Sword, and aimed to sever his head from his shoulders.

Beelzebub must have realized what I was doing, because he quickly crouched down and then launched himself up into the air. He may have avoided certain death with this move, but my blade still caught him on the ankle.

The Lord of the Flies let out a gurgled scream as his right foot was sliced straight off and fell to the ground with a wet “plop.” Then Beelzebub slammed Deja into the ceiling at break-neck speeds, but she somehow remained on his back.

“I can’t get a clean shot!” Inpulsa growled as she watched Deja and Beelzebub struggling.

Finally, Beelzebub began to spin around in midair. The metal on his wings may have slowed him down, but he was still able to get up to the velocity of a helicopter’s blades.

Deja hung on for as long as she could, but she was eventually tossed off the demon like a ragdoll.

The second our teammate was clear of Beelzebub, all of us attacked with everything we had. Balls of black, red, and yellow Hellfire shot across the room toward the deadly dust devil, but this time he was too quick.

Beelzebub spun out of the way of the projectiles, rocketed off to the side, and then struck the area of the wall with the crack in it. His momentum carried him through the brimstone structure, and then he disappeared to the other side.

“Did we scare him off?” Gula questioned.

“Impossible,” Deja grumbled as she stood to her feet, “Beelzebub is a lot of things, but a coward isn’t one of them.”

Suddenly, the whirlwind of deadly wings crashed through the far left side of the same wall and came spinning back in our direction.

I threw up two walls of purple just in front of my friends and then shoved them out of the way of the incoming attack with a heave. I was just barely able to roll to the side before Beelzebub’s blur of a body shot past my position, and it tore through the second wall of the throne room.

This time, I heard the entire castle shift.

Holy shit … he wasn’t trying to attack us right now.

He was trying to bring the whole palace down on top of us.

“Everybody get outside,” I commanded as I pointed to the downed wall. “Now!”

My friends obeyed me without hesitation, and the seven of us rushed toward the other side of the room. As we ran, chunks of the brimstone ceiling began to collapse on top of us, and it was all I could do to throw up a shield of purple above our position.

The impact of the falling stones nearly brought me to my knees, but I couldn’t let that happen.

If we stopped for even a second, we would be buried underneath the weight of the entire building, and, even if my shield were to hold, we’d eventually run out of air to breathe.

Failure wasn’t an option.

The succubi were the first ones to make it into the clear, followed by Todd. Finally, I passed through the broken wall, deactivated my shield, and gasped as I went over the edge of the stalagmite.

I stabbed the Unhallowed Sword into the rock as hard as I could and then let out a grunt of frustration as I tried to slow my momentum. Then I threw down a portal of purple beneath my feet, landed on it with a harsh thud, and tried to recompose myself as I looked down into the abyss.

I could see why this dude was the Lord of the Flies. Not having wings around here was basically suicide.

Thankfully, I had the next best thing.

I summoned green Hellfire to my hands, spread it around my body, and lifted myself back up to the side of the ledge. Then my jaw fell open when I reached the top and finally saw the chaos unfolding all around us.

Beelzebub’s entire castle had crumbled into a heap of brimstone, metal, and gold that now acted as a makeshift cliff for combatants to fight on.

The cherub army of Mammon, led by Ira, was zipping around in the sky fighting with Beelzebub’s airborne demons. Acidic Hellfire sprayed from the Sister of Wrath’s hands, and the tiny, fat demons behind her blasted arrows at their enemies.

Beelzebub’s minions didn’t appear much different from what Azazel’s had looked like. They were human-sized demons with small horns, wings, and razor-sharp claws and teeth. The only difference was that, like their master, these grunts had green skin.

Meanwhile, down below, the rest of my army and generals were taking on the Army of the Dejected.

I saw Mammon’s massive yellow foot stomp a Daeva into a bloody pulp before he turned around, picked up another grunt in his hands, and chomped off their head with his teeth. Then the King of the Second Circle tossed the body off to the side before he went after the next closest enemy.

Tris, Invidia, and Eclipse were all standing back-to-back, and they were tossing out their long-range spells at any demons who dared get within their striking range. A few of the tiny fuckers were ripped apart by bullets, while others were impaled by Vidia’s mind-controlled dagger.

The really unlucky ones, however, found themselves sucked into the nothingness of Eclipse’s black holes.

Perhaps most impressive were my Shades. The ghostly humans cut down Daeva and green grunts where they stood and deflected their attacks as if they were nothing. These guys were going toe-to-toe with the Army of the Dejected as if they were a highly-trained, elite fighting force.

Who was I kidding? Under the guidance of Cupi and Daniel, they were an elite force.

“Who builds a fucking castle on the edge of a cliff, bro?” Todd mused as he floated up next to me. “That seems like a serious design flaw to me.”

“Where are the others?” I questioned. “And where is Beelzebub?”

“Chillax, Jakey,” Todd scoffed, “most of them got wings, remember? I think they’re all--Heeeeey, there they are!”

The imp pointed down to the battlefield, where Superbia, Gula, and Libidine were already comboing Daeva with their Hellfire magic. Just above the three Sisters, Inpulsa darted through the air and used her chain-lighting attack to fry dozens of grunts out of the sky.

Rounding out my team of generals was Deja. Or, rather, a set of Dejas. The brunette succubus skewered Daeva left and right with her spear and chain, and her doppelganger followed up with a quick blast of incendiary flame.

Still, there was no sign of Beelzebub.

“Where the fuck is he … ” I muttered as I scanned the battlefield for my nemesis.

“Who, Mr. Tumnus?” Todd giggled, and then he pointed toward the rubble. “He’s down there, still reading that book ya gave him earlier. What a fucking square, bro.”

“Not Ziminiar,” I explained, “Beel--”

Suddenly, a flaming arrow shot toward me from the crowd. I swiftly knocked it away with a cast of purple and then searched for its source.

There.

In the center of the battlefield stood the Lord of the Flies. He must have cauterized his wound, because there was nothing but a singed stump where his foot used to be.

The King of the Eighth Circle stared directly into my eyes as he drew another arrow, took aim, and then blasted three arrows in rapid succession.

What was this guy’s deal? He might have been a powerful Demon King, but his arrows didn’t really do much damage if you knew they were coming.

The next thing I knew, Beelzebub’s body rocketed toward me like it had been shot out of a cannon.

Todd let out a girlish scream as he zipped to the left, and I decast the telekinetic spell holding me up. Gravity took its course, and I plummeted downward just as a blur of razor-sharp wings shot over my head.

I hit the top of castle ruins hard, and wave after wave of pain shot through my body as I ricocheted off the jagged boulders on my way down. Finally, I slammed into the ground and yelled as I felt a wet crack in my ribs.

“King Ralston!” Ziminiar gasped as he hobbled over to my position. “Are you alright?”

“I’ve been better,” I admitted as I pulled myself to my feet.

The commotion of my fall must have attracted the attention of the Daeva, because six of the little fuckers came running toward us with pure murder in their eyes.

Thankfully, I had plenty of experience with the Daeva. I could kill these guys in my sleep.

I summoned silver Hellfire around the metal ball at my waist, commanded it to form into a spike, and then shot it through the first Daeva’s chest.

I heard the crunch of his sternum as my weapon pierced the bone, stabbed clean through the demon, and then lodged itself in the head of the fucker behind him.

Both of the Daevas’ eyes rolled back in their heads as they collapsed to the ground, and I turned my attention to the other four.

The next one made the fatal mistake of getting too close to my blade. I lashed out with the Unhallowed Sword, struck it in the neck, and sent its head flying into the air. Then I liquified the silver metal once more, enchanted it with red Hellfire, and splashed it onto the next two Daeva.

The bastards screamed in agony as the molten-hot metal seared through their skin, and then they convulsed as they collapsed onto the ground and clawed at their faces in desperation.

The last Daeva took a different approach, though, and he made a beeline straight for Ziminiar.

That was a fucking mistake.

The King of the Sixth Circle simply scoffed as he held out his hand and shot tiny sparks of green electricity into the ground. Instantly, the Daeva’s body floated up into the air, and the little fucker flailed helplessly.

I drew my goat-headed dagger, stabbed it into his eye, and then watched as he went limp.

“Thank you,” Ziminiar mused, “you know I hate to get my hands dirty if I can help it.”

“But have you found out anything about the Book of Bezaleel?” I panted. “Anything that might give us an advantage or a special spell that could kill a Demon King or anything like that?”

“I was able to translate one of the spells from the third section of the book,” the goat-faced demon admitted, “but it might be somewhat painful.”

“Do it,” I commanded my ally. “Whatever it is, I’ll suffer through the pain.”

Ziminiar raised his eyebrow. “Are you certain?”

“Just do it!” I commanded. “We can’t afford to waste another minute!”

The King of the Sixth Circle nodded soberly before he flipped open the book, placed his finger on the page, and then began to speak in a dark, deep voice that sounded like a Gregorian chant. I couldn’t make out the words he was saying, but it certainly sounded like an ominous enchantment.

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my spine. I let out a scream of agony as I fell down onto my knees and tensed my body to try and quell the throbbing, but it was no use.

“Do you wish to continue?” Ziminiar questioned somewhere above me.

“Keep going!”

The Scholar of Hell chanted some more, and the pain became nearly unbearable. My vision started whiting out, so I began to slam my fist into my chest as a distraction.

My spine was shifting inside my back. Slowly but surely, I felt the vertebrae near my shoulders start to widen before there was another sharp, piercing pain in my muscles.

They were coming through my skin.

Wait … it couldn’t be.

I fought through the pain, reached up, and undid the back panel of my armor. As the dark piece fell away, I felt two large, oversized appendages spring forth from my back.

Wings.

Holy fuck … I had wings.

“There you have it,” Ziminiar said with a bow. “You are now airborne, King Ralston.”

I stood back to my feet, wobbled for a second, and then commanded my new wings to lift me into the sky. It felt strange to have these things jutting out of my back, but they responded to my brain’s commands just like any other muscle in my body.

I lifted up into the air, looked down on the scholar, and smiled.

“Thank you, Ziminiar.” I nodded.

“Just kill that bastard Beelzebub,” he retorted. “All hail King Ralston!”

I turned my attention back to the sky, where Ira and the cherubs were still engaged with the flying grunts. Then my massive wings beat through the air as they carried me over to the battleground, and I soon was in position to strike.

I gripped the Unhallowed Sword tightly, dived down, and then came up on a group of the green demons from below. As I passed by, I held out the sword and let my momentum carry my blade through their bodies.

Several of the fuckers gasped and screamed as their guts fell out of the freshly-made holes in their bodies, and then their lifeless bodies plummeted down into the abyss below.

I twirled around in the air, held out my hand, and unleashed a series of yellow shuriken into the crowd of grunts. Several of them were wounded by the attack, and then the cherubs swooped in and finished the job for me.

“Jacob!” Ira gasped, and her eyes widened when she caught sight of me. “Are those … wings?”

“Brand new,” I noted as I downed another fucker with red Hellfire. “You like?”

“Oh, I’m already thinking of all the ways we can incorporate those into our playtime … ” the Sister of Wrath cooed.

“We have to get out of here first,” I admitted as I scanned the battlefield below.

My soldiers were still putting up a fight against Beelzebub’s minions, but there were just too many of them. Wave after wave of Daeva continued to crawl up the side of the giant stalagmite, and I worried that they would soon overwhelm my friends.

Even if they were the greatest fighters I’d ever known, my army was eventually gonna get tired, and once that happened, it was over.

“Jakey!” Todd gasped as he zoomed over to my position. “It’s them! I totally knew they were gonna pull a Gandalf!”

The imp was right. There, just across the bridge on the nearest oversized stalagmite, was the rest of my army.

Lilith, Eligor, and Cupi stood at the front of the army, each one with their weapons at the ready. Finally, Cupi flew up into the air, held her polearm forward, and called out to her soldiers.

“Leave no Daeva alive!” she roared.

“Damn it, bro,” Todd sighed, “she was supposed to say ‘To the King!’”

I watched with excitement as the Shades marched across the bridge, while the generals and the incubi soared over the deep chasm on their elegant wings.

Several of the Daeva and grunts diverted their attention to the incoming army, and that was all we needed.

The odds were now even.

But I still had unfinished business with Beelzebub.

It wasn’t hard to find the bastard. He was standing smack-dab in the center of my army of Shades and tearing through them like they were made out of cardboard. He was shooting flaming arrows into the skulls of my soldiers while simultaneously cutting them down with his razor-sharp wings and claws.

Thankfully, they were already dead, and Sia could heal them all later.

Still, that had to fucking hurt.

I blasted a few more grunts out of the sky as I flew over to Beelzebub, swooped down, and landed on the ground before him.

“Do you really have to pick on the infantry?” I mocked as I readied my sword. “Some fucking leader you are.”

“You talk a big game, Nephilim scum,” Beelzebub growled, “but it’s all for not. As soon as you’re dead, your army will bow to me. All of your Shades … all of your Demon Lords … hell, probably even all of your lovers. They’ll all be mine soon enough.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I growled, “they follow me because they believe in me, not because I scare them shitless.”

“My army believes in me, too,” Beelzebub shrugged, “did you not hear the elegant speech Uriel gave? I thought it was quite nice.”

“I did,” I shot back, “right before I killed him.”

“Fucking abomination,” Beelzebub said as his face went emotionless. “Wings or not, I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago.”

The King of the Eighth Circle called forth a handful of arrows, threw them all onto his bow at once, and then fired them at me at point-blank range.

I knocked them away with a cast of purple, but then the Demon King’s claws hit me square in the chest. Sparks flew from my torso as his claws scraped across the Caliginian Metal, but my armor held up.

I retaliated with a blast of red Hellfire, but Beelzebub was quick to get his scaly wings in front of the attack.

The next thing I knew, Beelzebub’s arms were around me, and he tackled me into the sky.

I lashed out with the Unhallowed Sword as we flew, but all I could reach was his wing.

We shot across the landscape of the Eighth Circle at breakneck speed as I tried to push back with my own wings. However, we were going way too fast, and all I could do was hold on and hope for the best.

Then Beelzebub released me from his grip, summoned arrows to his quiver, and launched them at me as I flew backward.

I dispelled each one with my sword, but then it hit me.

Literally.

I slammed into the rocky side of a nearby stalagmite, and my vision flashed white as pain coursed through every inch of my body. The impact made me lose my grip on the Unhallowed Sword, and all I could do was watch helplessly as it fell down into the darkness below.

I threw down a platform of purple to keep myself from meeting the same fate, but Beelzebub was already on me before I even had a chance to catch my breath.

I grunted in agony as I forced my body up into the air once more and felt the King of the Eighth Circle swish beneath me. I was in a world of hurt, but I couldn’t let that slow me down.

I couldn’t lose. Not to this fucker.

In one swift motion, I commanded my warhammer to materialize in my hands, spun around, and swung at Beelzebub.

This time, my weapon found its mark.

The head of the hammer slammed into the side of Beelzebub’s face, and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched a handful of teeth fly out of his mouth, accompanied by what looked like a gallon of blood.

Before he could recover, I thrust the blunt end of the warhammer into Beelzebub’s stomach and sent him flying back into the same rocky cliff he’d just thrown me into.

However, the Lord of the Flies caught himself. Then he turned his body into a buzzsaw as he hit the cliff, sliced through the whole fucking thing as if it were made of butter, and then came back around.

Not this time, asshole.

I summoned a portal of green flames in front of me, took aim, and swung my warhammer as hard as humanly possible. I timed the blow perfectly, and the other end appeared just above the swirling body of my opponent.

There was a loud crack as the hammer struck Beelzebub, and his trajectory was changed. Then I watched with relief as the King of the Eight Circle flew down into the darkness below.

It couldn’t have been that easy, could it?

I scanned the darkness below and waited for the bastard to pop back up. There was no way the mighty Beelzebub would go out like that.

Finally, as if right on cue, a slew of flaming arrows shot up from the abyss.

My warhammer knocked many of them away, but then Beelzebub’s body appeared right below me.

The fucker stabbed an arrow right into the crease in my armor, right where it bent at the knee. A sharp pain seared my leg, and it was immediately followed by warm blood as it oozed out of the wound.

Beelzebub grabbed my warhammer, yanked it out of my hands, and then tossed it nonchalantly to the side.

“It doesn’t feel so good, does it?” he mocked as he lashed out at me with his wings.

Again, I was put in the position to make a fateful choice. My weapon, or my life.

Again, I chose my life.

I quickly ducked out of the way of the first wing, followed up with a punch to the bastard’s gut, and then felt a sharp, stabbing pain as his other wing struck me in the stomach.

“Ohhhh,” he chuckled, “that’s gotta hurt.”

It really fucking did.

My armor had taken the brunt of his wing, but I could feel the tip of the deadly appendage just barely stabbing into my stomach.

I was pretty banged up, but I wasn’t going to give up just yet.

I wanted to see this fucker bleed.

So, I reached down, pulled out my goat-headed dagger, and then stabbed it right into Beelzebub’s right eye.

The eyeball came clean out when I removed the blade, and Beelzebub wretched in agony as he pulled back and clutched at his face.

“I bet it does,” I mocked.

As I glanced back at the battle that was raging near the castle, I saw the Daeva were still coming. Even with evened odds, even with my reinforcements … they were still swarming my army like lemmings.

Not to mention, I was losing blood fast. If I didn’t end this soon, I was fucked.

What would happen to my friends if I died? Who would take care of my women? Would my kingdom be safe? Would Todd watch over my parents?

As the horrific thoughts trickled into my brain, my armor began to glow intensely with black Hellfire.

Wait … that was it. If I couldn’t defeat Beelzebub here, then maybe I could take him out in the Shadow World.

Beelzebub, in a fit of rage, pulled out an arrow and attempted to hit me with it. Instead, it flew about a mile above my head.

“What’s the matter?” I growled as I surrounded my body with even more black Hellfire. “Having some trouble shooting straight? There are specialists for that, ya know.”

“Shut the fuck up!” the Demon King growled, and then he launched toward me with the speed of a cannonball.

I reached out, blasted the incoming demon with black Hellfire, and then closed my eyes as I felt us being transported through space and time.

When I finally opened my eyes again, I saw the stalagmites were stretched to ungodly proportions, and all of the figures from the battle afar were frozen in place.

Meanwhile, Beelzebub had stopped in his tracks and was trying to find his bearings.

“It-It can’t’ be … ” he gasped, “you couldn’t have survived this place. No demon has!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw several tall, shadowy figures appear over the horizon, but for the first time, they didn’t strike me with fear. Instead, I was happy to see the Shadow People.

“Well,” I mused as I held out my goat-headed dagger and summoned red Hellfire into my hand, “you said it yourself. I’m not a demon. Or a human. I’m a Nephilim. Oh, and I’m also the Savior of the Caliginis.”

I moved my hand over the blade of the dagger, and it lit up with the red enchantment. At the same time, the goat-headed weapon stretched out and curved until it had the appearance of a cutlass.

Beelzebub let out a roar of rage as he lifted up his bow and took aim.

However, his hand was quickly yanked back down by a much darker, nebulous one.

“Hellllloooo, Beelzebub … ” I heard one of the Shadow People whisper. “You dare harm ourrrr savior?”

The Lord of the Flies’ eyes went wide, and he began to frantically lash out at the Caliginis with his wings. Soon, the sheer number of Shadow People overwhelmed the Demon King, and he let out a scream as they pinned him to the ground and began to tear at his flesh with their teeth and claws.

Suddenly, there was a spray of black blood, followed by Beelzebub’s signature spin. The King of the Eighth Circle made his way through the Caliginis like they were paper, but then he came to an abrupt stop.

He really didn’t look good now.

Beelzebub’s entire body was clawed to oblivion, and blackish-red blood oozed down his torso and dripped off onto the ground. His head was misshapen from the blows he’d taken from my warhammer, and he was heaving like he could barely breathe on his own.

It was now or never.

I didn’t even know if my God Bomb would work now without the souls of my friends to help, but I had to try.

“Caliginis!” I called out weakly. “I need your spirits!”

I held out my hands, summoned Divine Light into them, and tried to reach out and feel the spirits of the Shadow People.

“This old trick again?” Beelzebub mocked as he wrapped his wings around his body. “You know it doesn’t work.”

Suddenly, I experienced something I’d never felt before. My entire being was drenched in a sense of dread, as if I could feel nothing but sorrow and pain and suffering.

The spirits of the Caliginis.

The white light in my right hand went dark and was replaced by an intense black flame. Then power like I’d never experienced before began surging throughout my body, and Beelzebub looked petrified.

For the first time in this fucker’s life, he was afraid.

So, I clapped my hands together and unleashed the dual God Bomb black Hellfire attack.

It blasted around Beelzebub’s body, and the Lord of the Flies shrieked in agony as he was engulfed by the flames. I held the attack for a solid minute, and when I finally released my spell, I barely recognized the poor bastard.

Beelzebub’s charred, leathery body crumpled to the ground on his hands and knees. All that remained of his “impenetrable” wings were two gory stumps, and the green-skinned demon spat blood onto the ground as clumps of his flesh fell away from his body.

He looked up at me weakly as I approached and opened his mouth to say something, but I quickly silenced him by stabbing my sword into his skull.

I wasn’t going to give this fucker the luxury of any last words.

Beelzebub’s eyes rolled back in his head as his mouth fell agape, and his body went limp. Then I yanked the blade from between his eyes, and his corpse collapsed to the ground.

At the same time, I felt all my adrenaline wearing off, and the pain was returning to my body.

“You did it, Jacob!” I heard Zilla exclaim, but the world was already turning white.

I fell down onto my knees, dropped my goat-headed dagger to the ground, and then collapsed.

Chapter 18

My eyes sprang open to the sight of an amorphous black ceiling, accompanied by the sound of white noise. I sat up in a flash, grabbed my injured stomach, and was met with several pairs of glowing red eyes.

“He’s awake!” Blagdan’s voice exclaimed. “I was afraid we’d lost you, King Ralston.”

“Yeah,” I coughed, “I was afraid I’d lost me, too.”

I was currently sitting in the medical wing of the Shining Alliance’s base, stripped down to just my trousers, with Blagdan, Zilla, and several dozen other Caliginis surrounding my bed. A dark black piece of gauze was tied around my stomach wound, and it was soaked with bits of my crimson blood.

“We dragged you here after you killed Beelzebub,” Zilla explained. “We just barely got you back in time, but our healer was able to get you stable and then restored you back to a somewhat healthy state.”

“Somewhat healthy state?” I chuckled. “What exactly does that mean?”

“It means that you’ll live,” the Shadow Queen smiled, “but I wouldn’t go out on any more adventures anytime soon.”

“So, Beelzebub really is dead?” I asked. “It wasn’t just some sort of incredible fever dream I had as I was bleeding out?”

“The King of the Eighth Circle is no more,” Blagdan confirmed. “His corpse is currently displayed at the gates of Umbra, a remnant of your victory to be marveled at by the Caliginis.”

“Fuck,” I whistled as I leaned back in the bed. “If he’s really dead, I may never have to go on another adventure again.”

Even if I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn’t true, it was an amazing prospect to think about. Six of the Nine Circles of Hell were now run by my allies. I could go just about anywhere the fuck I wanted in this place without running into enemies now, and I didn’t have anyone currently out for my blood.

Sure, I needed to worry about Abaddon and my father, but that wasn’t an issue right now. Abaddon and I had an uneasy truce for the time being, and Lucifer was probably over the moon at the fact his son had been able to make so many conquests.

What I needed now was a nice, long vacation with all of my friends.

Oh, fuck. My friends.

I shot up in bed a bit too quickly and a sharp, searing pain burned in my gut.

“What’s wrong, King Ralston?” Zilla gasped.

“Where are my friends?” I asked. “Have you heard anything from them?”

“We haven’t, unfortunately,” the Shadow Queen sighed, “you’re the only one with the power to travel here, remember?”

Fuck. Beelzebub may have been taken out of the equation, but his minions were all still alive and well when I left the battle.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, stood to my feet, and nearly doubled over in pain.

“King Ralston!” Blagdan warned as he placed his hand on my shoulder to steady me. “You need to lay back down! You’re in no shape to go back out there.”

“I have to get back to my friends,” I explained as I began to limp over to my discarded armor. “I can have Superbia heal me up when I get back, and then I’ll be good as new. I can’t just abandon them. My generals need their king.”

“I can respect that.” Zilla nodded. “As much as we’d like to keep you here, Savior, I understand your yearning desire to return to the battlefield. Just promise you’ll be careful? I would hate to lose another savior, especially after they freed us.”

“I’ll do my damndest,” I admitted. “Now, would you guys mind helping me get this armor back on?”

Several of the Shadow People floated over to my position, picked up my armor in a frenzy, and then began to apply it to my body. Within a minute, the dark metal of the Caliginian Armor was wrapped around my body once more.

Finally, once the Shadow People took a step back, I began to summon black Hellfire around me.

“Good luck, King Ralston,” Zilla called out as the flames overtook my body. “We hope to see you again soon.”

“You will,” I promised, and then I suddenly felt my body become weightless as I traveled through space and time.

The next thing I knew, I was atop the rubble of Beelzebub’s castle, and as I looked down at the battlefield, I expected to see the same chaos that had been happening when I’d left.

However, there was a startling silence in the air.

Well, other than Todd’s voice.

“ … And then Jakey kicked him straight in the dick, took a drag off his cigarette, and said ‘sorry to bust your balls,’” the imp lied as I floated down behind him. “Then he just disappeared into the abyss with Brundlefly. I dunno where he went after that.”

“The Shadow World,” I announced as I limped over to my friends.

All of my generals were standing in a circle at the center of the stalagmite, surrounded by piles of slain grunts and Daeva.

“Jacob, you’re hurt!” Libidine gasped when she saw me.

“You should see the other guy,” I joked, but then I forced my expression into a sterner look. “But seriously, I did it. Beelzebub is dead.”

“Holy shit, bro!” Todd smiled. “You banished him to the Shadow Realm! Please tell me you busted out Exodia on his ass.”

“Not quite,” I chuckled and sat down on the ground, “but he’s gone. And it looks like you guys took care of all his minions while I was gone.”

“For the most part,” Lilith spoke up. “Some of the Daeva fled when they saw their leader disappear into the black Hellfire, but their numbers are inconsequential. We killed the rest.”

“And all of the grunts,” Eligor added, “with them defeated, Beelzebub’s Demon Lords slain, and his cultists wiped off the face of the Earth, it’s like the Lord of the Flies never existed.”

“Tell that to the hole he put in my stomach,” I groaned and patted the breastplate of my armor. “That’s definitely a real thing.”

“Let me take care of that.” Superbia walked over, summoned golden Hellfire into her hands, and placed them tenderly on my face.

I stared deep into the madame’s large, purple eyes as the flames spread down my body and wrapped it in the spell’s warm embrace. The tingle pulsed through my very core, and within seconds, the dull throb of my stomach wound and the aching of my bones disappeared completely.

“Thanks, Sia.” I smiled at the woman and then gave her a peck on the lips. “You’re a lifesaver. Literally.”

“I’ve been doing it all day,” the petite redhead shrugged, “a lot of our soldiers were messed up during the battle.”

“Cupi? Daniel?” I asked as I pulled myself to my feet and looked over at my two combat generals. “What’s the status report? Did we lose anybody?”

“Not a one.” Cupi grinned.

“Like Sia said, a bunch of our Shades were horrifically mangled by Beelzebub and his minions,” Daniel elaborated, “but that’s just another Friday evening for us Shades. Superbia healed them all up, and they’re camped out over on that stalagmite down the way.”

Daniel pointed off into the distance, and I saw what he was talking about.

A few flickering campfires were set up on a series of stalagmites only a few hundred feet away. Tents surrounded the flames, and I could see several figures sitting around while they joked, told stories, and laughed heartily.

“What about your men, Asmodeus and Mammon?” I asked my two allies.

“Not a soul lost,” Mammon agreed, “I’ll admit, these generals of yours know how to fight.”

“I will second that notion,” Asmodeus, now clad in nothing but a red silk robe, agreed. “My incubi were expecting a much more severe beatdown from this battle, particularly the ones who specialize in sadism.”

“Man,” Todd sighed, “why are demons so depressed, Jakey?”

I held back a laugh and looked out upon the soldiers with a giant grin on my face.

“Would you look at that?” I mused. “Shades, Cherubs, and Incubi, all sitting together around the campfire, sharing stories and breaking bread. I don’t think any of us thought that sort of comradery was possible a few months ago.”

It is all thanks to you, King Ralston, Mephisto noted. You have done wonders for the Circles of Hell and their inhabitants.

“You certainly have,” Ziminiar added as he adjusted his glasses. “You’ve shaken up the entire universe as we know it.”

“He’s shaken up plenty of things,” Ira cooed with a wink. “Especially my insides.”

“Subtle, Sister.” Eclipse rolled her eyes.

“Jacob,” Invidia asked innocently as she stepped forward, “can you tell me more about your time in the Shadow World? I want to know everything that happened.”

“Vidia, you’ve already been there,” I reminded the succubus.

“And I can’t wait to go back!” the Sister of Envy giggled. “It’s the most magical place in the Universe.”

“I don’t think Disneyworld exists in Umbra, bro,” Todd whispered to me loudly. “Though I bet it’s totally a saner place than central Florida.”

“Alright, I’ll indulge,” I sighed.

For the next few minutes, I went over the entire sequence of events. I told the group about how Ziminiar had given me my wings, about how Beelzebub and I had beat the shit out of each other, and then how I transported him into the Shadow World to finish him off. When I got to the part about using my God Bomb, Eligor looked unconvinced.

“Shadow People don’t have souls,” she protested. “How could you use their energy for a God Bomb?”

“I dunno,” I admitted, “but I felt them sending me some sort of energy when I reached out to them.”

“It’s probably explained in the Book of Bezaleel,” Ziminiar said with a raised finger. “There’s still so much more about the Caliginis and the ancient ways that I need to learn.”

“Then that will be your next task, Ziminiar,” I proclaimed, “I want you to take the sacred text and study it from front to back. It helped me out of a jam in this battle, and I’m sure there’s stuff in there that will be useful down the line.”

“Speaking of ‘down the line,’” Lilith cooed, “you know who our next target is, right?”

All of my generals and allies went silent as they looked at the Demon Queen. They all knew the correct answer, but nobody seemed to want to say it out loud.

“We’re not going to talk about that right now,” Mirage finally spoke up. “We still have a lot of work to do here and in our Circles before we can even think about going after … him.”

“Shouldn’t we be having this conversation in a--uh, you know … ” Tris suggested as she drew a circle in the air with her hands.

“No,” Lilith stated with a proud grin. “I want him to hear this.”

My heart hammered in my chest as I tried to figure out what the Demon Queen was doing.

“Lilith … ” I began, but the Demon Queen held up her hand.

“It’s alright, Jacob,” she promised. “Lucifer, if you are listening to this, I want to tell you something. My allegiance lies with Jacob Ralston, and Jacob Ralston alone. He shall proclaim me as the Queen of the Eighth Circle, and I shall fight by his side, whatever his endeavors.”

“Oh, is that so?” a silver-tongued voice hissed.

I could feel the color draining from my face, and I hopped up onto my feet and stared down the man in the velvet red suit who had just appeared behind Lilith.

“Jacob, is that who I think it is?” Gula gasped.

“Wait, you can see him, too?” I questioned as panic began to spread through my entire being.

“It’s me, son.” Lucifer smiled as he ran his hand through his slicked-back hair. “In the flesh.”

I drew my goat-headed dagger from my belt and held it at the ready.

“Hello, Lucifer.” Lilith grinned at the Prince of Darkness.

My father looked over at my dagger, clicked his tongue, and then snapped his fingers.

Instantly, the weapon was surrounded by the emerald glow of green Hellfire before it disappeared from my hand, and then it found itself back in its sheath.

“So quick to violence,” Lucifer sighed, “I know I raised you better than that.”

“You didn’t raise me,” I growled. “In fact, I’m surprised you even showed up at all. You certainly didn’t until I got all my Hellfire powers.”

“Bro,” Todd whispered, “don’t make this about your daddy issues.”

“I don’t have--” I began, but the imp cut me off with a hiss.

“I’ll book you a spot-on Maury next week, Jakey,” he promised, “but for now, I wanna see what this Don Draper-looking fucker is talking about.”

“So, you choose to openly defy me, Lilith?” the Devil hissed. “The man who so graciously took you in after the Exalted One threw you out of the Garden of Eden?”

“You heard what I said,” Lilith reiterated as she raised her chin. “My allegiances lie with your son now.”

“Think long and hard about this choice, succubus,” Lucifer warned with an emphasis on the last word.

Lilith’s hand closed into a fist, but she kept her calm.

“I already have.” She nodded. “This is my path, Lucifer.”

The air was full of tension as Lucifer and Lilith stared each other down but didn’t utter a single word. Finally, Lucifer tilted his head to the side, grinned devilishly, and then shook his head.

“Bravo, Lilith,” he clapped, “bravo, Jacob … I knew you were both clever, but I didn’t think you were ‘outsmart the Prince of Darkness’ smart. But be warned … Lucifer never makes the same mistakes twice.”

The Devil scowled as the words left his mouth, and then he lifted his hand up into the air. Green Hellfire quickly surrounded his entire form, and then he snapped his fingers and disappeared.

“Well, that just happened,” Inpulsa snarked after a long beat of silence.

“I’m surprised he left without incident,” Sia added, “I was afraid we were going to have to fight him right here and now.”

“That’s not how Lucifer operates,” Ziminiar explained, “he’s a manipulator, through and through. He won’t resort to physical violence until he thinks it’s his only option.”

“And when that happens?” I questioned.

“We won’t get to that point,” Lilith noted. “We can’t let it get to that point, or we’re all fucked.”

“Then why did you have to tell him?” I questioned. “I could have made you Queen of the Eighth Circle in a secret ceremony or something like that.”

“No, you couldn’t,” Eligor explained, “Lucifer doesn’t allow women to rule the Circles. Why do you think my mistress and I have been without a permanent home for several millennia?”

“I’ve had some horrible bosses, but sheesh,” Todd whistled.

“The second the ceremony was performed, Lucifer would be alerted,” Lilith added. “It was unavoidable. But, like Ziminiar said before, that’s what you do, Jacob. You change the status quo.”

“Well,” I sighed as I looked down at my nearly empty belt, “if we’re really going to have Lucifer breathing down our necks, I’m gonna need to find my other weapons. My dagger’s nice and all, but it’s the weakest weapon I have right now.”

“I can help with that, Jacob,” Gula offered as she summoned brown Hellfire into her hands. “Your warhammer should be simple enough to find. If I give you a little boost, of course.”

I nodded to the curvy redhead, and then she blasted me with her brown power-up Hellfire. At the same time, I called upon my silver flames, held out my hand, and ordered my warhammer to return to my position.

I stood there for a solid minute, waiting, before I finally sensed the weapon’s presence. Suddenly, there was the sound of a large, heavy object soaring through the sky. Then the familiar two-handed weapon appeared before me, and it hovered in the air as if it were as light as a feather.

“I knew you could do it, Thor,” Todd snickered.

I commanded my warhammer to liquify, turn itself into a ball, and then reattach itself to my belt.

“What about my sword?” I asked aloud.

“That one will be a bit trickier,” Lilith explained as she strutted over and placed her arm around my shoulder, “but I assure you, King Ralston, it will be my first decree as Queen of the Eighth Circle to have my Shades find it.”

“Who says I’m gonna make you Queen?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “I was kinda thinking Todd could take this one.”

“Uhhhh, bro?” the imp spoke up with an awkward chuckle. “Even I know that would be a terrible, awful idea.”

“I’m just fucking with her, Todd,” I admitted, “I wanted to see--”

“Do you have any idea what I’d do to this place?” the imp continued. “I’d totally remove all these giant dick-looking phalanges … probably rebuild the castle into a perfect replica of Bowser’s airship … maybe even make all the Shades carry me around like Conan the Barbarian. Yeahhhh, the Toddster’s totally not ready for that sorta responsibility, Jakey.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m kidding,” I shook my head, “Lilith, you are now the Queen of the Eighth Circle.”

“I think there’s a bit more to it than that,” the Demon Queen winked, “but we can get to that later. For now, we should go and celebrate our victory with our soldiers. Your loyal subjects are waiting.”

Lilith and I walked off toward the campsite arm-in-arm, and the rest of my generals were right behind us.

My father may have still been looming on the horizon, but right now, I could care less.

Azazel was dead. Baphomet was dead. Gressil was dead. And now, the Lord of the Flies had joined them in whatever abyss demons go to when they die.

If that wasn’t a cause for celebration, I didn’t know what was.

So, we walked off toward the camp, fully prepared to party the night away with drinks, songs, and probably a whole lot of sex.

Then we’d figure out how to conquer the last two circles.

End Book 13.

End Notes

Thank you for reading Succubus Lord 13! I’ll start writing the next book as soon as this one has one-hundred reviews. So please leave a nice review here!

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2019 by Eric Vall