Chapter 1

“Bro, I feel like a fucking Hobbit,” Todd giggled in a hush. “Three-feet tall, hanging out in a tree with my bestest friends, waiting to ambush some ugly orc-looking bitches as they go by. All that’s missing is the hairy feet.”

“You were very specific in your request, Todd,” Cupi hissed back. “You wanted no body hair whatsoever when you were changed.”

“Well yeah,” the imp retorted, “it’s hard for the babes to be slobbin’ on the ‘ol knob when they have to go through a forest to get there. Now? It’s nothing but smooth sailing from tip to shaft.”

“Please stop talking,” Eligor, the knight of hell, gagged.

“I second that,” Gula added. “Unless you would like to see that creme brulee I baked us earlier come back up.”

“Shhhhh!” I shot back to all of my friends. “We’re trying to be inconspicuous, remember?”

“Ah, come on, Jakey,” Todd mused, “who’s gonna hear us all the way out here in the middle of the swamp of souls?”

The imp had a point. The five of us were sitting in the branches of a tall, half-dead tree whose wispy vines shimmered with an ectoplasmic glow as they snaked down into the murky water below.

We were in the heart of the Fifth Circle of Hell, the domain of Baphomet.

Thankfully, Todd was using his invisibility powers to keep us hidden from the goat-headed demon’s watchful eye.

“Did we really need to bring all five of us out for this mission?” Eligor pondered aloud. “Durtu is the lowest-ranking Demon Lord serving under Beelzebub.”

“I’m not taking any chances,” I reminded the blonde bombshell. “We need to take this asshole alive, and the only way we’re going to do that is by ganging up on him and trying to subdue him without violence.”

“You may have literally picked the worst team for this endeavor, then,” Gula chuckled. “You’ve got the badass warrior, the imp that’s always going overboard, plus the deadliest hand-to-hand fighter on your squad, and the succubus whose attacks can incinerate demons in a single blow.”

“I’d say I picked the perfect squad, then,” I laughed.

“Also,” Cupi added, “thank you for the kind words, Gula. I take much pride in my hand-to-hand abilities.”

“She was talking about me,” Eligor retorted with a huff. “Anyone can be a badass warrior, but it takes true talent to master the blade like I have.”

“I have a blade, too,” Cupi mumbled. “It’s got way more range on it than yours, if we’re being honest.”

“Uh-oh,” Todd whispered into my ear. “We got a blondie fight on our hands.”

“They’ll be fine,” I reassured the imp. “It’s just playful banter.”

“Speaking of banter and things that haven’t been addressed … ” Gula spoke up. “I hear you two and Libidine were confronted by Lucifer himself?”

“Totally, Firecracker,” Todd responded. “You’ll never guess who he was this whole time, either.”

“Was he posing as one of the Shades in Jacob’s army?” the red-headed succubus guessed. “Or was he a lower-level demon pretending to be working for Beelzebub?”

“Nope,” the imp said in an over dramatic tone. “Think hairier. Likes to write erotic historical fiction. Ancient philosopher.”

“Plato?” Gula gasped.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” I shot back. “He’s a silver-tongued liar, so it’s not like I could trust anything he said, anyways.”

“Oh!” Cupi exclaimed as she entered the conversation. “Are you talking about Lucifer?”

“Sure am, my bodacious blonde,” Todd confirmed. “I was just about to tell Firecracker here about how I kicked his ass, stole his fiddle made of gold, and then banished him back to the depths from whence he came.”

“That’s not what happened,” I sighed as I scanned the horizon for our target. “He tried to pull one of those sly ‘I am your father’ speeches and talked about how I was ‘destined for greater things’ than being a Succubus Lord. It really wasn’t a big deal.”

“Wasn’t a big deal?” my imp friend argued. “Jakey, you just found out you’re the fucking son of Satan!”

“Lucifer!” Eligor, Cupi, and Gula all shot back at once.

“Er, fine,” Todd chuckled. “You’re the son of Lucifer. That’s like, a huge fucking deal, bro.”

“It actually explains a lot,” Eligor added. “Now, it makes more sense how you can summon both Divine and Demonic magic, and how you’ve been able to master multiple Hellfire abilities.”

“I haven’t mastered them all,” I grumbled. “I still have no idea how to use my fear magic properly.”

“That’s because my best bro Jakey doesn’t get scared!” Todd exclaimed as he slapped me jokingly on the back. “But seriously, we haven’t even talked about that shit for like, the last eight seasons of our TV show.”

“Nephilim also seem to take on their father’s characteristics,” Cupi added. “Which would explain your natural charisma, ridiculously handsome features, and your massive--”

“Imma stop you there,” the imp interjected. “The less I know about Jakey’s lizard ‘n two grapes, the better.”

“I swear you’re making up these names,” Gula mused. “I’ve never heard that term used once in my hundreds of thousands of years.”

“Of course I’m making ‘em up,” Todd admitted. “There are only so many times I can throw around ‘purple-headed yogurt squirter’ before it becomes stale.”

As my friends bantered behind me, I saw a boat appear just over the horizon.

“Guys!” I hissed. “I think we found our man.”

Everyone went silent as we watched the small dinghy grow closer and closer to our position.

“So, how’s this going to work?” Cupi whispered. “Do we just sit here and wait for him to float underneath of us? I don’t think there are very good chances of that happening.”

“It’s like you didn’t even read the plans I wrote out,” Todd said with a click of his tongue.

“You mean the crayon drawing with a bunch of stick figures piled on top of a stick figure with horns?” the blonde scoffed.

“That’s the one!” the imp confirmed. “I know it’s no Picasso, but I’d put it at least on the level of Beethoven.”

“Beethoven was a pianist,” I sighed.

“No need to be fucking vulgar, bro,” Todd snickered back. “We all know he went blind from jerkin’ his skin flute too much.”

“That’s not…” I hesitated. “Dude, he was deaf. Bach was the guy who went—”

“How’d he play piano if he was dead?” Todd asked.

“Deaf,” I clarified.

“Ohhhhh,” Todd signed. “So, who was the guy who went blind from the old “solo-lightsaber battling?”

“Can we just go over the plan again?” Cupi asked as she tossed back her short blonde hair.” It’s obvious that someone forgot.”

“The plan is to use our powers to blow Durtu off course and right into our grasp,” I explained to the group. “Then we grab him, capture him in a prison of purple Hellfire, and take him out into one of those caves so we can beat some info out of him.”

“Ohhhh, boy,” Todd giggled with glee. “We’re gonna totally Casino Royale him, aren’t we? Cut a hole in the bottom of the chair and bash up his sack until he talks?”

“I was thinking we’d let Ira have him,” I corrected. “She’ll probably do all that plus a shit ton of other things our innocent brains couldn’t even dream of. Now, Eligor, if you will … ”

The blonde knight nodded, summoned light green Hellfire into her hands, and concentrated.

Off in the distance, just next to Durtu’s dinghy, we watched the swampy water of the Fifth Circle begin to bubble like an overboiling saucepan. The demon made an exaggerated gesture of surprise, and then he summoned purple Hellfire into his hands and ordered the boat to swerve off course.

Right toward us.

“Friggin Shades,” the demon’s voice boomed across the landscape. “Baphomet just put you back in your place, and now you’re already startin’ to cause trouble again?”

As he grew closer, I was able to get a better look at the tiny fucker’s figure. The demon was only about five feet tall, with skin almost as dark as the murky waters underneath his boat. He had two curved, ram-style horns sticking out the sides of his skull and a short, pudgy, flat nose just above his thin, sneering lips. Durtu’s eyes were comically small in comparison to the rest of his features, but they distinguished themselves with their black, ectoplasmic glow.

“Ah, shit,” I whispered as the demon pulled within fifty feet of our position. “Nobody told me he had ectoplasm magic.”

“That can’t be right,” Cupi mused. “He’s supposed to be Beelzebub’s lowest-level Demon Lord.”

“Low level or not,” Gula whispered, “he’s almost under us. It’s now or never, guys.”

The redhead was right. Durtu was only about ten feet away right now, and we needed to act while we still had the element of surprise on our side.

I looked over at Eligor and nodded.

“Let’s raise some hell, guys,” I whispered.

The blonde knight’s hand lit up with light green Hellfire as she reached out and blasted it down into the water.

“What in the nine Hells--” the demon began, but his words were cut off swiftly.

A massive waterspout arose from beneath Durtu’s dingy and launched him high into the air.

As his small frame tumbled and twirled inside of the spinning liquid, Cupi blasted the waterspout with her blue flames. The spout froze in place instantly and formed a crystal prison around Durtu, halting his momentum and holding him tightly in its icy embrace. The demon’s eyes were now about level with my own, and he gave me a look of pure hatred through the translucent trap.

I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands and quickly blasted it into the frozen waterspout, just above and below Durtu’s body. My spell formed into a cube around the demon, and then I ordered it to pull out the entrapped bastard.

As the icy pillar creaked and cracked from the movement of my Hellfire, I saw the ectoplasm in Durtu’s eyes seep out and start to surround his body.

“Ah, shit,” I groaned.

This wasn’t going to be as easy as we had thought.

The ectoplasm engulfed Durtu’s body, and then the ice around him exploded like it was attached to a grenade.

I threw up a wall of purple flames to defend myself from the razor-sharp shards, and they shattered against my barrier.

However, the damage was done. Durtu was free.

“Is that Jacob fucking Ralston?” the demon cackled as he floated in the air, held aloft by his ectoplasmic magic. “I was wonderin’ when I’d get to finally meet the great King of the Fourth Circle.”

Todd continued to hold his invisibility spell, but at this point it was no use. Durtu had to have seen where the spells came from, and he was staring right at the tree we were stationed in.

“May as well release the charade, Todd,” I sighed and summoned red Hellfire into my hands. “That’s right, Durtu. I’m here. The two of us need to have a little chat.”

I launched a fireball at the demon, but he simply zipped down and out of the way.

As the short demon descended, he unleashed a spell of ectoplasmic magic toward the tree.

All five of us retaliated with a blast of our red Hellfire, but even our combined strength wasn’t enough. Our spells struck the ectoplasm and promptly evaporated with a sharp hiss.

“Hit the deck!” Todd exclaimed as he took to the sky with his black Hellfire.

Cupi, Eligor, and Gula went airborne as well, and I took a running jump off the tree branch.

I quickly threw down a platform of purple Hellfire, tumbled across it, and then sprang to my feet.

The gangly tree behind us made a horrific hissing sound that was accompanied by the echo of cracking wood and splashes of water. I nearly gasped when I turned around and saw the entire thing was now shriveled up and decaying before my very eyes.

Somehow, Durtu’s ectoplasm had caused the tree to wither away and die.

“Holy shit, bro!” Todd exclaimed as he swooped down beside me. “He just gave that tree limp dick!”

The floating Durtu cackled as he unleashed another blast of ectoplasm into the sky, but the succubi above him were quick enough to evade the attack.

Gula retaliated with a red fireball the size of a small SUV and nearly three times the size of the demon fucker.

Durtu tried to dodge to the left, but the succubus’ attack was too wide to avoid. He let out a yelp of pain as the fireball struck him in the side and sent the asshole spiraling down into the water, where he disappeared beneath the waves with a dull splash.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Eligor bellowed as she summoned her elemental magic into her hands.

The scantily-clad armored knight released her spell into the swamp below, engulfed nearly an acre in its glow, and then moved her hands upward. As she did so, the surface of the water erupted into a geyser, and Durtu’s hiding spot was revealed.

“You crafty, traitorous bitch,” he sneered as he flew past Eligor’s right side. “Do you really think Beelzebub hasn’t informed Lucifer of Lilith’s treachery?”

“I honestly don’t think he cares,” the knight growled as she spun around on her black angel wings, whipped out one of her swords, and swung at Durtu.

The demon swiftly evaded the blow, and then followed up with a blast of ectoplasm.

I threw up a shield of purple directly in front of the attack. It wasn’t enough to halt the spell, but it did stall Durtu’s ectoplasm just long enough for Eligor to get out of the way.

The second she was clear of blast, I hurled another fireball at the fucker.

Durtu was quick to dodge, but that was exactly what I wanted him to do. Just as he zipped past my incendiary attack, Cupi swooped down and struck him in the face with the blunt end of her polearm. The demon’s head cracked backward and caused his body to backflip uncontrollably in the air.

“Fore!” Gula exclaimed as she flew by and struck the demon with the wide side of her battle axe.

Durtu’s body was flung into the air like a fly ball, but I was quick to halt its momentum with a wall of purple flames. The little fucker smacked into the barrier face-first, like a cartoon character, and then fell backwards as gravity took over.

As he fell, a blast of blue Hellfire crashed into his body and froze it in place.

“Alright,” I grumbled, “let’s try this again.”

Before I could summon up the purple Hellfire prison, Durtu had reclaimed consciousness and returned to the sky on the jet trails of his ectoplasm.

Gula, Cupi, and Eligor instantly engaged their target as I stood there planning my next move.

“Alright, bro,” Todd sighed as he reached down his outer right thigh. “I really, really didn’t want to waste this now, but an imp’s gotta do what an imp’s gotta do.”

The floating red imp produced a small, white tube and held it up proudly for all to see.

“Is that … weed?” I gasped. “You haven’t had any of that shit in--”

“I know, Jakey,” Todd sighed. “This stuff’s in short supply in Hell. This is the very last joint I have, and I’ve been saving it for months. But now, desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“Todd, you don’t have to--”

The imp cut me off with a wave of his hand. Then he summoned red Hellfire into his hand, held it in front of the joint’s tip, and lit it up. He placed the doobie to his lips and inhaled deeply as the edges of the cigarette paper turned to ash. Todd had the entire thing gone in two short inhalations, and then he flicked the remnants into the swampy water below. Todd shook his head like a madman, slapped himself in the face, and then began to whistle the theme song to Popeye. His eyes were now bloodshot and squinty, and he reeked of the sweet leaf.

“Ehhh, thatsa more like it,” he mumbled in a sailor’s accent. “Now I’mma gonna put Durtu in a world of hurto, ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!”

Without another word, the imp outstretched his hand like superman and shot over to where his opponent was standing. The imp caught Durtu by surprise as he wrapped his hand around his ankle, spun around like a top, and launched the bastard into the stratosphere. Before Durtu could reorient himself, Todd zipped up into the sky and slugged him in the gut. Then, while the demon was hunched over in pain, the imp grabbed Durtu, flipped him over so his head was facing downward and clapped his knees against the side of Durtu’s noggin.

“Give me a mat, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed.

I threw down a platform of purple about ten feet below the fighting demons so Todd could have his makeshift wrestling ring.

The imp’s body plummeted straight down until the top of Durtu’s head slammed into the rock-hard platform. Then Todd released his grasp, and the demon’s body fell over.

“Tombstone, bitch!” the imp cackled in a drugged-out stupor. “That’s right, the Undertaker just put you six feet under!”

“Ohmygosh!” Gula gasped. “Did Todd just single-handedly take out a Demon Lord?”

“You’d better believe it, Firecracker,” the stoned imp mused. “Never underestimate the power of the all-mighty doobie. Now, if you’ll excuse me, the Toddster’s got the munchies.”

Todd fumbled around against his outer thigh, licked his lips, and then came up with a bag of chips.

“I’m not even gonna ask where you were hiding that,” I chuckled as I formed a purple cube of Hellfire around Durtu’s body. “Or how old those chips are.”

“I can promise you one thing, bro,” the imp retorted, “I think both answers would surprise you.”

“Alright,” I announced to the rest of my friends, “there was a system of caves on the shore, about three miles north of here. Let’s get him there before he wakes up, and then the real fun can begin.”

“How are we going to keep him contained once he wakes up?” Eligor asked curiously. “Won’t he just use his ectoplasm to break out again?”

“He would,” I confirmed, “if he was still imprisoned by our Hellfire magic.”

“I’m not following,” the blonde knight sighed.

“Look around us,” I nodded to the surface of the swamp water at our feet, “there’s a reason I chose this specific area to wait for Durtu.”

The Fifth Circle was full of Shades who were eternally damned to suffer their deaths over and over again. Sufferers were arranged into different groups and clumped into different sections of the Circle depending on how they died, and we were currently standing atop the ones who’d passed away via a fiery car crash.

“Wait, wait,” Gula protested. “If your plan was to capture him in metal, why did you wait this long?”

“The little fucker was too fast,” I shot back as I summoned silver flames into my hand. “Besides, if I used my liquid metal spell on him while he was conscious, he would have just countered it with his ectoplasm. Then I’d be shit out of luck on that front.”

I closed my eyes and pictured all of the phantom vehicles around us in the water, and then I imagined the metal inside of them would melt into a gooey stream of liquid. Once I felt the metal turn into a fluid, I summoned it to the surface of the swamp and commanded it to spread around Durtu’s body.

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw the black demon completely surrounded by shimmering gray liquid, all the way up to his neck. Then I commanded the metal to harden, and Durtu’s body was trapped in a steel prison at least three feet thick.

I called forth green flames into my hand, surrounded Durtu and the spherical trap, and then started to move it across the sky.

“Also, don’t forget the dinghy,” I warned. “The last thing we need to do is leave something behind that alerts Baphomet we’re in his territory.”

“Ah, what’s the ‘ol goatfucker gonna do?” Todd joked. “He gonna spit a can at us?”

“Baphomet is not a laughing matter, Todd,” Cupi explained. “There is a reason he’s the King of the Circle of Anger.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the imp scoffed. “He’s also the only demon I know that’s appeared on more heavy metal album covers than a skeleton wearing leather. And that’s saying something, dudette.”

Eligor used her elemental magic to manipulate Durtu’s boat, and Cupi’s arms wrapped around my armpits as she lifted me into the sky. Then we began our journey toward the cave.

We had to move fast. Baphomet was notorious for patrolling his turf, and none of us were really in the mood to try and take on a Demon King. We could have asked Todd to turn us invisible, but the imp was far too stoned to be able to keep a concentrated spell like that going for long. Besides, it would only take us a few minutes to get there, anyways.

The five of us shot across the landscape in a hurry, paranoid that we would run into the King of the Fifth Circle or one of his minions. Thankfully, the trip was completely uneventful, and soon, we came to the cave and fluttered down onto the brimstone ground.

“You know,” Gula said with a grin as she stepped into the mouth of the cavern, “we’re not letting you get off with this whole ‘son of Lucifer’ thing that easily. I really, really want to know what he said to you.”

“I told you I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed. “I’ve told you all the important stuff.”

“You haven’t told us any of the important stuff,” Cupi protested. “For example, why did he choose to reveal himself to you now? What did he want from you? Why was he interfering with the lives of his own minions?”

“Damned if I know,” I muttered as the wind rushed through my long brown locks. “He’s freaking Lucifer, Cupi. He talked circles around all of us without really going anywhere.”

“But what did he say?” the blonde succubus prodded. “Like literally, word-for-word, what did he say?”

“I barely remember,” I admitted. “He was that good of a smooth-talker. Honestly, the thing that stood out to me the most was when he was explaining my conception.”

“Oh, yeah,” Todd snickered from beside me. “He gave us the deets on how he banged Jakey’s mom. I’m gonna remember that lucky bastard’s description for a looooong time.”

“Again with the mom thing?” I sighed. “And you wonder why I don’t want to talk about it … ”

“What can I say?” Todd mused. “Maria Ralston is a fucking MILF. I’ve thought so ever since middle school, bro.”

“So you’ve told me,” I groaned. “Can we please change the subject?”

“Okay,” Gula interjected slyly, “back to Lucifer--”

“Anything but Lucifer!” I shot back. “Or how he fucked my mom or how he is my real father or how he made it sound like he was grooming me to be his right-hand man!”

There was a long silence in the air as we flew, and I instantly realized the severity of what I had just said.

“ … Lucifer wants you to take over as his right hand man?” Eligor gasped. “Like, as his main general? Or does he want you to replace my own master as the King of the Succubi? Or does he only want you to fill the role Azazel used to fill?”

“I don’t know!” I blurted out. “It all happened so fast, and I was kinda still in shock from the whole ‘Lucifer is my father’ thing. I just remember him saying something about ‘his right hand,’ and how he was impressed with my conquest of the Fourth Circle. I don’t know, what else could he have meant by that?”

“That could mean a lot of things,” Gula added. “Did he mention Lilith at all? She’s surely not going to be too happy if he’s planning on overthrowing her, too.”

“Please,” Eligor chuckled sarcastically. “The Demon Queen would never be overthrown, especially by Lucifer. He may pretend to call all the shots, but my Mistress is the real power behind the throne.”

“Ahhhh, the ‘ol Wormtongue route,” Todd observed. “Better be careful, though. Wormtongue gets pumped full of arrows at the end of that story.”

“I thought it was only one arrow?” I questioned as I tried to get us off subject.

“You movie-watching casual,” Todd sighed. “That’s only in the extended editions. And it was totally not how it happened in the book.”

“Oh,” I lied. “I’ve never read them. What happens in the--”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Jacob,” Cupi interrupted. “We’re not done talking about your conversation with Lucifer.”

“Yes, we are.” I nodded and pointed to the mouth of the cave just up on the horizon. “We’ve got an interrogation to get started.”

The five of us landed in front of the cave, and then we cautiously stepped inside.

After our fight with Vermis the Devil Worm, I was wary of any large, cavernous place in Hell. Usually, they weren’t just empty.

Once we were completely engulfed by the darkness, I lit up my free hand with red Hellfire to illuminate our surroundings. The cave walls were made up of a slimy black brimstone, and the moisture in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Hell, the air was so dense in here I could hear it sizzling as it touched my flickering fire.

I guess the cave couldn’t help but be dank when it was positioned next to a massive swamp for all eternity.

“Okay, Cupi,” I nodded to the succubus as I lowered Durtu down to the ground, “let’s wake him up.”

The blonde succubus cracked her knuckles excitedly, and then she summoned blue Hellfire into her hands. The fit demon walked over to the passed-out Durtu, grabbed him by the forehead, and held her spell in place.

The sound of the demon’s screams ricocheted off the walls as he was rudely awakened, accompanied by the sizzle of his skin as it was given instant frostbite.

“Wakey, wakey, asshole,” I growled as I approached the demon encased in metal.

Durtu’s eyes instantly began to glow with ectoplasm, but I clicked my tongue and shook my head.

“If you so much as even try to use your powers, I’ll have Todd over there rip your fucking eyes out of their sockets,” I warned. “He kicked your sorry ass when he was trying to be non-lethal. Just imagine what my buddy can do to you when he’s trying to hurt you?”

“Just call me the Bride,” the imp added. “One more move, and your eyeballs become my new car dice, bro.”

The demon’s eyes went dark, and the ectoplasm was replaced by a look of pure terror. Then he glanced around his surroundings carefully as a horrific look of realization took over.

“Why did you bring us here, you fool?” he gasped. “Do you have any idea what kind of monsters dwell in these caves?”

“No clue,” I admitted, “but if it’s freaking you out this much, we’d better make it quick. The amount of time we stay in here depends on how willing you are to give up information.”

“You’re asking me to betray my master?” Durtu spat. “You’ve already defeated Beelzebub once, and he’s going to make you pay for it badly. The Lord of the Flies will march into your kingdom, slaughter all of your friends, and then punish your foolish Shades with the most grueling forms of torture ever known to--”

Before he could finish his sentence, I ordered a small chunk of the metal around his body to extend out into a tendril and smack him across the face.

Blackish-red demon blood sprayed from his mouth and painted the wall of the cave with crimson. Durtu spat out another mouthful of blood along with a few of his teeth, but then he began to chuckle devilishly.

“You’re never going to get me to talk,” he mused. “Go ahead and kill me. I’ll die before I betray my beloved master.”

“Gaaaaaayyyyyy.” Todd rolled his eyes. “Can I pluck out his eyes now, Jakey?”

“Wow,” Gula muttered, “that herb he just inhaled seems to be making him violent.”

“Slothy and I didn’t call it ‘The Hulk’ for nothing,” the imp agreed. “One little puff makes you angry, and a whole joint? Well, you’re seeing what happens when you smoke a whole fucking joint, Firecracker.”

Durtu began to laugh again, but Todd quickly silenced him with a swipe of his claws. There were now three fresh, gnarly gashes on the fucker’s cheek, but he was determined to stay quiet.

“Fine,” I shrugged, “if you won’t talk for us, then we’ll have to resort to some drastic measures.”

I reached up a finger to my right forearm and touched the tattoo of the flaming whip that resided there.

Suddenly, the cave was illuminated by a blinding white light that sprang from the ink, and then the figure of a curvy, dark-haired woman appeared before us. She already had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, ready for action, and there was a flaming whip in her left hand and a large wooden stick in the other. The beautiful woman was clad in nothing but a leather corset that trailed down into a g-string and showed off her ass perfectly.

It was Ira, the Sister of Wrath.

Or, more specifically, it was her Dominatrix half.

“Helllloooooo, sisters!” the Dom said with a playful wave. “What kind of twisted, fun shenanigans do you have planned for me today?”

“This guy right here,” I said as I pointed to Durtu. “He’s decided he’s not going to talk, even after Todd and I gave him the scare. Soooo, it’s your turn.”

“How delightful,” the succubus purred as she held up her hand and summoned forth her morning star in a flurry of Hellfire.

“You’re in for it now, Hornswoggle,” Todd snickered. “Crazy Eyes here has a particular brand of crazy coursing through her veins today.”

“That’s right,” I added, “I’ll give you one last chance to talk. Who are the Demon Lords that serve Beelzebub, and which ones are the most powerful?”

Durtu clicked his tongue quietly as he chuckled to himself.

“This is rich,” he mused. “You think you’re the first one to try ‘an take out the Lord of the Flies’ loyal subjects? You’re not. And, just like all the others, you’re gonna end up stretched across one of the great stalagmites of the Eighth Circle, your spine eternally dislocated as you struggle to free yourself and the beast Geryon feasts upon your flesh.”

“Alright, I’ve heard enough,” I growled and nodded to the Dom.

Ira’s Dom gave me a devilish smile, readied her morning star, and then rocked her body as if she were going to swing at a baseball.

In a way, she kinda was.

I ordered the metal of the spherical prison to pull apart, just in front of Durtu’s groin.

The second it was out of the way, the Dom took a huge, upward swing at the fucker and struck him square in the balls.

Durtu’s eyes went cross as he let out a high-pitched yelp of pain, but then his yelp turned into a prolonged grunt of excruciating agony. The demon refused to scream, even though there was currently a giant spike shoved up his urethra.

He must have really been afraid of whatever was in this cave.

Once the morning star was embedded in its place, Ira simply let go of the handle and pointed.

“Close that up for me,” she demanded. “I want to return to this later.”

I closed the metal back around the ball of the morning star to hold it in place, all while Durtu began to hyperventilate from the pain he was in.

Then the Dom giggled as she pulled out a small red candle and lit it with her Hellfire. She stepped up onto the hilt of the morning star, used it as a stool, and then poured a bit of melted wax onto Durtu’s horned head.

The demon grunted once more, but this time it was much more intense. His entire face contorted into a grimace of pain and frustration, but he kept his lips pursed harshly as he continued to be tight-lipped.

Ira did a playful strut down the end of the morning star, hopped up on it like it was a diving board, and then jumped off.

The tiny black demon’s face was now drenched with a mixture of sweat and candle wax, and he was trembling fiercely.

“Still don’t want to talk?” I mocked as I began to walk in circles around the demon. “Do you have any idea who I am? Who my father is?”

“Oh lord, Jakey,” Todd groaned. “Don’t pull that card. We heard that shit enough with the preppy kids in college.”

“Preppy kids?” Eligor questioned.

“Yeah,” the imp shot back, “the guys who wear polos and chino shorts every single day like they’re a fucking cartoon character. The ones whose Daddies own like, six bazillion yachts plus a private island, a jet, and half of continental Europe.”

“I don’t think any of them--” I began, but Todd cut me off.

“They dudes who think they can get through life just by firing everybody they don’t like,” he continued. “Dudebros whose entire personality revolves around playing golf and buying Hollister clothing.”

“We get it, Todd--”

“And worst of all … ” the imp gasped overdramatically, “they wear skateboarder shoes even though they don’t own a single skateboard! A single skateboard, Goldilocks! Who the fuck do they think they are, Tony Hawk? I don’t even think he wears--”

“We get it!” all of us interrupted together in unison.

Then, from deep within the bowels of the cave, came a deep groan.

“Heh heh,” Durtu whispered. “Just keep running your yaps. Soon, we’ll all be dead meat.”

“Then you’d better hurry up,” Gula added. “Don’t make Jacob sic his father on you.”

“Speaking of which,” Ira pondered aloud, “why didn’t you ever tell me you were the son of Lucifer? I had to find out second-hand from Libidine, and even she refused to talk too much about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I grumbled. “It was nothing.”

“Wait,” Durtu gasped, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “You’re--you’re the son of Lucifer? You must tell me how in the bloody Hell that came to pass. Your mother must be a goddamn bombshell, because the Prince of Darkness has only slept with a handful of women throughout all of human history.”

“Oh, bro,” Todd chuckled and placed his elbow against the metal sphere around Durtu, “you don’t even know the half of it. Maria Ralston is the MILF to end all MILFs.”

“Enough!” I interjected, and then I walked over and grabbed the handle of Ira’s morning star.

I gave it a sharp yank downward, and Durtu shut up very quickly. Then I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, aimed it at the area around the weapon, and forced it to tighten toward the demon’s body.

Durtu gritted his sharp teeth and let out a muted wail as I forced the morning star further into his body, inch by inch. For a moment, it looked like the fucker was going to pass out from the pain.

But he still wasn’t talking.

“Damn, Durtu’s a tough nut to bust,” Todd observed.

“Don’t you mean ‘tough nut to crack?’” Cupi corrected, but the imp just shook his head.

“I know what I said,” he reiterated.

“You’re--you’re never getting anything out of me,” the demon repeated through gritted teeth. “You’ll have to just go ahead and kill me.”

“Tell me, Durtu,” Ira’s Dom mused as she strutted up to our enemy and slapped her hands against the sides of his head. “Do you know how much pressure it takes before an eyeball pops in its socket? Because I certainly do.”

“Do your fucking worst, you sadomasachistic bitch,” Durtu growled.

“You asked for it.” The Dom shrugged as she used the protruding handle of the morning star as a stepping stool again.

Then Ira’s Dom placed her thumbs directly in Durtu’s eye sockets and began to push forward slowly.

The demon tried to move his head back and away, but I quickly threw up a small wall of purple flames to keep it from going anywhere.

We all watched in macabre wonder as Ira kept applying pressure, and Durtu’s grunts slowly turned into quiet gasps of pain. Finally, when the demon apparently had enough, he summoned his ectoplasmic magic to his eyes.

Unfortunately for him, the Dom was much quicker.

“You naughty boy!” she cackled. “You don’t get to cheat!”

Ira’s Dom drove her thumbs into the demon’s head with one last push, and each one of his eyeballs exploded with a spray of gore.

Finally, Durtu let out a long, guttural scream that echoed off the cave walls and filled the cavern with the sounds of his agony.

Then, from deep down in the bowels of the cave, the rumbling sound returned.

Durtu instantly slammed his mouth shut and stopped screaming.

“You--you bitch,” he whimpered as blood coursed down from his ruined eyes. “You took away the one thing that made me any use to my master. Just fucking kill me now, please.”

“What’s that?” I asked as if I hadn’t heard a single word. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were begging. You know you can make this all stop, right? All it takes is you telling us what we want to know.”

“I’d rather get eaten by the Hyginus than betray my master,” he repeated.

“Is that what keeps making those noises?” I asked. “A ‘Hyginus?’ I have no fucking clue what that is, but anyone who can make one of Beelzebub’s demon lords shit himself in fear is a friend of mine.”

“They’re friends of no one,” Durtu shot back with a hiss. “The Hyginus only come out when they are hungry, or when they have been disturbed from their slumber and feel threatened. They’ll use your bones as toothpicks the same as mine.”

“Only one way to find out, then,” I chuckled, and then I turned toward the back of the cave and put my hands around my mouth.

“I’m not sure if that’s the greatest idea, Jacob,” Cupi warned.

“I second that,” Eligor added. “The Hyginus is not a creature we want to deal with. Ever.”

“It’s got the mighty knight of Hell shaken?” I mused. “It must be really bad. All the more reason to call him up. Maybe if he starts coming this way, Durtu will spill the beans. And if not, we’ll just fly away and leave the bastard here to be eaten. If he’s not gonna talk either way, it won’t be any loss to us.”

“You wouldn’t be so cruel,” Durtu exclaimed.

“Of course I would,” I retorted. “I’m the fucking King of the Fourth Circle, and you’re just a dirty demon piece of shit.”

“But--but,” he protested. “You’re human! Humans are supposed to be soft and weak and--”

I stepped over to Durtu, leaned in close so he could hear, and then corrected his statement.

“I’m the man who killed Azazel. The one who escaped from Heaven itself. Do you really want to take that chance?”

“Damn, bro,” Todd whistled. “Maybe it’s just all the Devil’s Lettuce in me right now, but that scared even me shitless.”

I turned around and walked a few feet deeper into the cave.

“Get ready to run,” I announced.

“P-Please don’t--”

Before Durtu could finish his plea, I let loose a powerful, angry shout from deep within my gut. It bellowed through the cave system as it traveled deeper, until it became nothing but a whisper.

Then there was nothing but silence.

It only lasted for a second.

Suddenly, the entire cave shook with the sound of a powerful roar, but it wasn’t the roar of a dragon or a lion or anything I’d heard in my lifetime. It had a high-pitched tone, almost like that of a bat’s sonar, mixed with a deep, guttural hiss.

Whatever the fuck this thing was, it had heard me, and it was pissed.

“You fool!” Durtu gasped. “You’ve doomed us all.”

“Nope,” I laughed sadistically. “Just you. Come on guys, let’s get out of here.”

I turned and nodded to the succubi and Todd, and all four of them went airborne instantly.

Cupi swooped around behind me, picked me up in her arms, and began to head toward the exit.

“W-Wait!” Durtu begged. “Take me with you, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know! Just don’t leave me in here with that thing!”

“That’s more like it,” I muttered as I used my silver Hellfire to pick up the ball of metal.

With the beaten, broken Durtu behind us, my friends and I floated out of the cave and headed up to the top of the rock formation it had been carved into. As we landed, we felt the brimstone of the ground shake beneath us and then heard the Hyginus let out another roar of anger.

“Now, tell us the hierarchy of Beelzebub’s followers,” I commanded, “and where to find them all. Or I can put you back down into the cave.”

“No, no!” he begged. “Let me explain … ”

Durtu went off into a full-on history of Beelzebub and his followers. He explained how the Lord of the Flies was seen as one of the most cunning Demon Kings of Hell, and how he had no issues getting what he wanted, including any Demon Lord he took a liking to.

“Enough with the boring lecture,” Todd sighed. “Who does Jakey gotta kill to make Brundlefly weaker?”

“Duglot, Loras, and Kegg,” Durtu whimpered as he turned his head blindly from side to side. “They are the most powerful of Beelzebub’s Demon Lords.”

“But which one is the most powerful?” I demanded. “He’s the one we want to go after first.”

“I-I don’t know,” the demon admitted.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know?’” Eligor growled. “It’s a fairly simple question!”

“Beelzebub’s Demon Lords have lived in peace and harmony for the last few millennia,” Durtu explained. “We haven’t had a need to fight each other, so there’s no telling who is the ‘most powerful.’ For all I know, it could me!”

“I doubt that,” Gula mused, which drew an angry glare from the beaten demon, even though he was missing his eyes.

“Where do we find these assholes?” I asked.

“They each have gone to a different Circle,” Durtu continued, “one for each of Beelzebub and his allies. Loras is here in the Fifth, Kegg is in the Sixth, and Duglot was testing out the alliance with the King of the Seventh Circle.”

“Great,” I grumbled. “So, we might have to deal with Abbadon, too.”

“I’ve told you everything I know,” Durtu pleaded. “Please just let me go so I can live out the rest of my miserable days.”

He sounded sincere in his pleas, but I knew better. This asshole served one of the most ruthless Demon Kings in all of existence and had surely committed countless unspeakable atrocities over the years. Besides, if we let him go, he was just going to run to Beelzebub and give us away.

“I’ll let you go, alright,” I informed him as I summoned silver Hellfire into my hand.

I used my spell to lift up the ball of metal into the air, and for a moment Durtu’s expression changed to joy.

“You will?” he gasped. “That would be--”

Before he could finish his sentence, I launched the ball into the swampy water below. There was a loud splash as it broke the surface, and then I heard Durtu begin to scream as his metal prison began to sink beneath the waves and doomed him to an eternity of darkness.

“That was hardcore, bro,” Todd observed as he watched the demon go under. “Anyways, who’s hungry? Doing all that hard work and torture and smoking that whole joint has made the Toddster’s hunger grow to new levels.”

“Let’s go home,” I chuckled as Cupi picked me back up in her arms. “I’m sure Gula can whip up some of her famous Vargrat tacos.”

“That sounds amazing,” Cupi admitted as we took to the sky.

The five of us were engulfed with Todd’s invisibility spell once more, and we headed back to the entrance of the Fifth Circle.

Even though we had gotten the information we needed from Durtu, I knew this was just the beginning. Even if we killed all of Beelzebub’s minions or even the Lord of the Flies himself, there was still one Demon that would never go away.

Lucifer. My father.

Chapter 2

“I must admit, Jacob,” Eligor mused after we bobbed to the surface of the River of Souls, “this whole whirlpool experience gets more and more fun each time we go through it.”

“Seriously, bro,” Todd added as he lifted himself out of the water with his black Hellfire, “it’s like we’ve got our own personal Hurricane Harbor down here. Only with a lot more tormented souls. Pretty sure you don’t see that at Six Flags. Other than the employees.”

Under the cover of Todd’s spell, the six of us made it to the edge of the Fifth Circle and then transversed back up the swirling river rapids until we arrived on the other side.

Now, we were back in my domain. The Fourth Circle of Hell.

“I just want to go back to the castle, take a nap, and then figure out what the fuck we’re going to do next,” I admitted. “We’ve got three possible targets to go after, but we need to consult with my War Council before we make any sort of move.”

“War Council?” Todd questioned. “Is that what you’re calling that little gathering with Mephisto, Gamigin, Daniel, and all the girls?”

“Well, yeah … ” I replied as I climbed up onto the shore. “They’re my most trusted advisors, and we’re on the brink of a full-on war with Beelzebub and his forces. What else would you call them?”

“I dunno,” the imp shrugged, “I just don’t want you getting all bureaucratic on me, Jakey. I know you’re a king and all, but you also know how much I fucking hate bureaucrats.”

“Excuse me?” Ira protested.

“Not you, Crazy Eyes,” Todd snorted. “You’re into politics for all the right reasons.”

“Because I’m a sadomasochist?” the succubus questioned.

“Because you’re a sadomasochist,” the imp confirmed, almost at the exact same time.

“Don’t worry,” I laughed and attempted to dry myself off with the warmth of my red Hellfire. “I hate that kinda shit almost as much as you do. But if I want to be a good king, I gotta play the part.”

“You do a pretty damn good job at it, if I may say so,” Cupi interjected. “That speech you gave us before you led your army against Uriel? The way you walked right into Asmodeus’ castle and smooth-talked him into being your ally? The way you outsmarted Metatron, one of Heaven’s greatest warriors? You’re doing more than just ‘playing a part,’ Jacob. You were born to be a king.”

“Quite literally,” Gula added. “If you truly are the son of Lucifer, and he wants you to be his right hand man, that means-”

“That means he wants you to take over all of Hell,” Eligor gasped.

I gave the armor-clad fallen angel a look of confusion.

“How do you figure?” I scoffed. “You heard Durtu. There were at least a handful of other human women Lucifer slept with. Why haven’t any of his other children taken up arms and ruled by his side?”

All three of the succubi and Eligor went silent, almost as if they were trying to hide something.

“Uh-oh, bro,” Todd whistled. “This sorta awkward silence is never a good thing. It’s like you just made a pass at your third cousin at your grandfather’s funeral.”

“That’s … oddly specific,” I said suspiciously. “But seriously, what’s with the uncomfortable glances all of a sudden?”

“Jacob … ” Eligor sighed. “Durtu wasn’t lying when he said there were other children of Lucifer. But the thing is … he killed them all.”

I felt my face flush as my heart began to flutter inside of my chest.

“Why would he do that?” I questioned. “Wouldn’t they be some of the most powerful beings in existence?”

“That’s exactly what they were,” Cupi spoke up. “That’s why he would never allow his children to live. Lucifer couldn’t stand to have anyone around who could pose as a threat to his power.”

“Earl and Azazel used to tell us the stories,” Gula shuddered, “about how Lucifer went around killing every one of his children in brutal ways, sometimes even when they were still in their mother’s wombs. Then there was that time he allegedly ate one of them while they were a toddler … ”

“Sounds a lot like Kronos,” Todd observed.

“Where do you think the Ancient Greeks got the story from?” Gula admitted. “Though, in this case, there was no happy ending for the child or its mother.”

“Then why the fuck am I still alive?” I pondered aloud. “Lucifer surely had plenty of chances to kill me when I was younger, and he had us all fooled with his Plato shtick.”

“He must have liked you,” Cupi shrugged, “that’s the only reason I could possibly see for him leaving you alive.”

“You did say he wanted you as his second in command,” Eligor added. “Surely he’s been impressed with how you’ve handled all of his minions so far.”

“That’s not the part that’s confusing me,” I admitted. “I get Lucifer’s been watching me conquer all of these Demon Lords and Demon Kings and thinks I’ll be a perfect right-hand man. But why did he even let me get this far in life? Why didn’t he kill my mother the second she found out she was pregnant? Why didn’t he come after me when I was a defenseless child? It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Maybe he really, reaaallllyy liked your mom,” Todd suggested. “Like, once he hit it, he just couldn’t quit it.”

“First off, ewww,” I joked. “Second, Mom and Dad said it was only that one time.”

“That’s exactly what somebody hiding a secret affair with the King of Hell would say,” the imp mused.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said as I shook my head, “because I don’t want to be his second in command.”

“You don’t?” Gula gasped. “Jacob, if you were the second in command of Hell, you could do so much good for the Shades.”

“No, I actually wouldn’t,” I grumbled. “You think Lucifer is going to go against hundreds of thousands of years of tradition, just because his little boy wants him to? He’s an evil fucker, and he’s going to keep being an evil fucker until the end of time.”

“Then what do you propose?” Eligor asked. “You cannot refuse an offer from the Prince of Darkness himself. That’s simply not an option.”

“No, it’s not,” I nodded, “and that’s why I’ve already decided I’m going to betray him.”

All five of my friends stared at me in disbelief, with their eyes wide and their mouths on the ground.

“Y-You can’t be serious,” Cupi chuckled awkwardly. “You want to double-cross Lucifer?”

“Exactly,” I confirmed. “He’s afraid of his children, and he has a damn good reason to be. If we can take a few more Circles--”

“Jacob,” Eligor warned, “even if you were take over all Eight circles of Hell and inherit all of those Demon Kings’ lords, I don’t think that would be enough to take on Lucifer and win.”

“I’m not going to fight by his side,” I shot back. “I refuse to be a part of his sadistic ways, and I refuse to do the evil shit he’d surely make me do. The only way out of this is to punch him in his ugly, silver-tongued mouth.”

“Do you have any idea what you are suggesting?” Cupi hissed. “Even the mere words you’re saying right now could have us subjected to an eternity of some of the worst forms of tortue imaginable. And if we actually try to follow through on your plan?”

“I don’t even want to think about what happens to us if that happens,” Ira’s Dom shuddered.

Holy shit. If the Sister of Wrath was worried, it must have been something horrible.

“Then we can’t fail,” I said matter-of-factly. “We’re only going to have one shot, and we’d best not miss.”

“Okay, look,” Cupi sighed and rubbed her temples in frustration. “Let’s say by some miracle that you get all of your allies and succubi to go along with this plan. You’re still nowhere near powerful enough to stand a chance against Lucifer.”

“I know that,” I admitted, “but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. We need to gain more allies, soldiers, and territory. And the only way we’re gonna do that is by defeating Beelzebub, Baphomet, and Gressil and claiming their Circles as my own.”

“Yeah,” Cupi scoffed. “We only have to defeat three of the most powerful demons in the history of the Universe. That’s all.”

“I believe in ya, Jakey!” Todd interjected. “Besides, you have one thing on your side that most other demons don’t: Heaven.”

“Todd has a point.” Gula nodded. “On top of all of your own Demonic forces, the Exalted One has promised his full support. If we end up fighting, it will be with the Army of the Divine on our side, too.”

“That’ll be the day,” Eligor whistled. “The Army of the Divine, helping a Nephilim take down Lucifer? It’s like every Catholic’s wet dream.”

“We’re going to make it a reality,” I retorted with a sly smile.

“Yeah!” Todd added with a raised finger. “I’m gonna kick that asshole right … in … uhh his asshole.”

All five of us looked at Todd with skeptical expressions, and his demeanor changed into embarrassment. The imp looked down at the ground bashfully and pretended to kick the dirt, even though he was four feet in the air.

“I was gonna say ‘fuck him in the asshole,’” he sighed. “But then I’d have to say ‘no homo,’ but even saying you are gonna fuck another dude in the asshole is kinda homo, sooo … anyways. Just--just let the joke die.”

“We’re not trying to--” I started, but Todd cut me off.

“Just let it die, Jakey!” he begged.

I put my hands in the air and shook my head with a grin.

“Alright, alright,” I chuckled. “The joke is dead.”

“I still think this is suicide,” Eligor admitted. “In fact, it’s worse than suicide. At least with that, you end up dead instead of spending eternity with a spear shoved through your body from end to end.”

“We’ll speak with the War Council,” Cupi argued. “I’m not over the moon about this idea, either, but we owe it to Jacob to at least entertain the thought. He’s been right so far, after all.”

“I suppose,” Eligor sighed. “We will see what the rest of the team has to say about this.”

“Come on, guys,” I prodded. “It’s not like we’re going after him tomorrow. We’re gonna do it the right way, by building up power and forming alliances and conquering territories first.”

“Now you really do sound like a bureaucrat,” Todd gagged, “but you’re right. No use in blowing our load too soon.”

“On that note,” I chuckled and pointed off to the horizon, “let’s get back to the castle. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Cupiditas gave me a nod, and then the blonde succubus summoned her dark angel wings in a flash of purple. The fit woman backflipped into the sky, zipped around behind me, and picked me up just underneath my armpits. Cupi’s skin felt soft against my own, and I swore I could feel her perky nipples erect against my back. Then she lifted me up into the air, and we were off.

The journey back to the Castle was one I’d made many times. It was the main living quarters of myself, my succubi, my Demon Lords, and now even my parents. We all had rooms and sometimes even entire wings all to ourselves, but we shared a common dining, training, and living area.

It was a regular Brimstone Hilton.

In no time, I saw the shiny black castle appear in the distance, just beside the village where my Shades dwelled. Even though I had modernized most of the Fourth Circle, I wanted to keep the whole “medieval” aesthetic for my domain.

I mean, how many other people can say they live in a fucking castle made out of black brimstone? That beats a condo any day in my book.

The succubi, Todd, and I finally landed in front of the castle gates, and the Shade who was manning the guard tower quickly lowered the massive wooden door down for us. We crossed into the castle’s main courtyard, where we found Ariel training with a bunch of Shades.

The redhead was originally a blacksmithing angel who we’d encountered in Heaven, but she now dwelled down here with us. The beautiful woman with the fire-kissed hair was now the blacksmith for my entire army, and so far she’d done a damn good job.

Ariel was standing there with three other Shades, all of whom were clad in black armor. When she saw us approaching, the angel released her defensive stance and gave me a large, welcoming smile.

“You’re back!” she exclaimed. “Just in time to see our new weapons demonstration, too.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass on that one,” I said sadly. “We’re holding an emergency War Council meeting in the situation room in twenty minutes.”

“I’ll be there,” Ariel grinned and gave me a salute, “I can’t wait to find out what we get to test my inventions on next!”

“Neither can I,” I joked as we entered through the main door of the castle.

The main lobby of my dwelling still looked the same as before, with its large velvet rug and “regal” aesthetic. The only difference was that now, since Eligor and Ariel were officially part of my team, they had their own portraits commissioned.

Eligor insisted that hers be as formal as possible, so she ended up posing in a chair, decked out with a bedazzled version of her skimpy armor. She held her dual swords behind her head threateningly, and the knight had a scowl on her face that could freeze even the warmest of hearts.

Then there was Ariel’s portrait. The angel opted for a picture of herself in her beloved armory, in front of several of the Hellfire-powered weapons she’d created from scratch. The redhead wore a skin-tight white tank top on her torso and a pair of pitch black leggings on her bottom. She had a welding mask in the “up” position on her head, and her expression simply screamed determination.

Much like the beauties themselves, both of these portraits were a welcome addition to my home.

We passed through the foyer and up the stairs, until we came to the main living area of the castle.

Tris, the Sister of Sloth, was passed out on the couch and snoring loudly like a buzzsaw.

Meanwhile, Superbia and Libidine were sitting in the chairs across from her, chatting excitedly as if they were teenage girls gossiping about their friend’s latest fashion faux pas.

Invidia, the gothic Sister of Envy, was nowhere to be seen, but the faint sounds of All-American Rejects in the distance told me she was probably sulking in her room.

“Hello, my beautiful lovers,” I said as the five of us entered the room.

The two women at the table perked up at the sound of my voice, and then they grinned from ear-to-ear as they stood and ran over to embrace me. I held them tight for what felt like an eternity as I soaked in the sweet smell of their hair and the warmth of their bodies against mine.

“Sheesh,” Todd mused. “We were only gone for a few hours.”

“Every second away from Jacob feels like a million years,” Libidine shot back. “Especially now that we know, well, you know … ”

“Now that Jacob has been confirmed as the heir to Lucifer’s throne, the entire world will be after him,” Sia added. “There will not be a single second of the day where his life won’t be in danger.”

“Relax, Sia,” I reassured the redhead, “right now, the only people who know about this are the people in this room, Lucifer, and my parents. In fact, I haven’t even told the rest of my War Council yet.”

“Wait … ” Todd gasped as he clapped his tiny hand over his mouth. “This was supposed to be a secret?”

“Uh, yes?” I shot back along with an angry glare.

“Sooooooo, let’s just hypothetically say somebody jumped on a hypothetical podcast and maybe, just maybe, told all their listeners they had a showdown with the Devil,” the imp mused. “Would that hypothetically be something that’d be a problem?”

“What did you say on Tuesdays with the Toddster?” I sighed deeply. “Like, what exactly did you say?”

“I told my loyal listeners the full shindig, bro,” Todd admitted. “About the fiddle made of gold, the epic rock-off we had … all of it.”

“What about the whole ‘the Dev--Lucifer is my father’ thing?” I questioned with an extended finger.

“Wellllll,” Todd sighed, “I told ‘em something along the lines of ‘I fucked up Jakey’s dad real bad, bros and broettes--that’s what I call my fans, by the way. I never technically came out and said Lucifer was your daddy, but I’m sure some of the smarter cookies who listen to the show might figure it out.”

“It’s alright, my love,” Libidine promised. “The fandom for Todd’s show is pretty small. I’m sure nobody will notice.”

“She’s right,” Sia nodded, “based on my calculations, seventy-percent of Todd’s listener base comes from right here in this castle.”

“And the other thirty?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Raphael, Chort, and some random mortal in Kansas make up the remaining thirty percent,” the succubus madame explained.

“Wait,” I pondered, “that means--”

“I’m still workin’ on expanding my audience, bro,” the imp muttered, “but as long as that beauty in Kansas keeps listening to my show, I’m gonna keep making it.”

“You think it’s really her?” I chuckled as I remembered the redhead Todd had gone head over heels for during our first adventure. “There are a lot of people in Kansas, Todd.”

“But are there a lot of people in Kansas who love to listen to the paranormal musings of an imp who is also best friend to a King of one of Hell’s Circles?” he asked rhetorically. “It’s gotta be my woman of destiny, bro.”

“You don’t even know her name?” Eligor scoffed. “How can somebody be your true love if--”

“Destiny doesn’t need a name, Goldilocks,” Todd shot back without missing a beat. “There ain’t no fate but what we make it, anyway.”

“Alright,” I observed, “so really, only Chort and Todd’s true love know about my parentage. I guess that’s fine for now, as long as Chort doesn’t go blabbing it to everyone.”

“Please,” Todd said with a wave of his hand, “that sorry excuse for a pig-fucker is so stupid, he probably tries to organize M&Ms in alphabetical order. There’s no way he puts two and two together on Lucifer being your daddy.”

“Let’s hope so,” I shook my head, “I don’t want my Shades and our allies looking at me in a different light. They’d probably think I was some sort of monster … ”

“You could never be a monster,” Libidine consoled. “My sisters and I have been under the influence of cruel, heartless monsters for millennia. You, Jacob, are the polar opposite of a monster.”

“I second that,” Gula added. “You are one of the most selfless, kindest, and caring souls I’ve ever met. Even if your other allies find out about your heritage, they’ll know you’re still the same Jacob Ralston they’ve been following for the last few months.”

“Yeah, Jacob,” Tris’ groggy voice called out from the couch, “you’re fucking awesome, dude.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” I chuckled and placed my hands on my hips. “Now, if we can just recapture this energy when it comes to overthrowing Lucifer.”

The second the words left my mouth, the room fell silent.

“Is that what your end game is?” Superbia asked through a shocked whisper. “You want to overthrow the King of Hell himself?”

“It’s the only way I’ll ever have a chance at freedom,” I explained. “I think he wants me to be his second in command, but I’m sure as fuck not going to work for that evil bastard. It’s either try to overthrow him, or die. And I dunno about you guys, but I would rather go with the first one.”

“Not to sound like a sour grape,” Sia sighed, “but you’re nowhere near powerful enough to take on Lucifer on your own.”

“That’s why we need to spread my influence,” I agreed. “We need to take out Beelzebub and his little fuckbuddies, and then that’ll be three more Circles for the taking. That’s three Circles full of Shades and succubi and Demon Lords who will all be looking for a new master to follow.”

“It would be a good start,” the madame agreed, “but I fear not even that would be enough. Lucifer isn’t like the rest of the Demon Kings, Jacob. He’s, well, he’s the second-most powerful being in the universe. Next to the Exalted One, of course.”

“The Exalted One is on our side,” I reminded her. “If we can somehow get him and his forces to help us--”

“They’d never break interdimensional law like that,” Sia protested. “Besides, the last time the Divine tried to storm Hell, they only just barely made it to the First Circle before they were driven back by the combined efforts of the Demon Kings and Queens.”

Suddenly, it looked like the lightbulb went on in Cupiditas’ head. The blonde succubus’ eyes lit up as a devilish smile spread across her lips and she raised a finger to speak.

“If Jacob’s plan is successful,” she began, “they won’t have to start at the Gates of Hell. If Beelzebub is out of the way, the Eighth Circle will be ours. And if the Eighth Circle is ours … ”

“We’ll have four times the real estate we have now!” Todd interjected. “That’s a lot of fucking room to grow weed, bro.”

“That’s not what I was going for,” Cupi sighed. “If Jacob is the King of the Eighth Circle and also a double agent for the Exalted One, then the forces of the Divine can enter there. And if they enter through the Eighth Circle, they’ll be right next to Lucifer’s domain in the Ninth.”

“That’s a fucking brilliant idea,” I admitted. “But I see one issue … the Demon Lords are never gonna go for it. If Lucifer is defeated and the Exalted One claims supreme victory, don’t they all die?”

“Not necessarily,” Eligor spoke up. “It’ll be up to whoever the Exalted One appoints to be the new King of Hell, and I’d assume that would be you.”

“So, you’re suggesting I just straight-up tell my demonic allies our plan and promise them mercy when I am King?” I questioned.

“Absolutely not!” Liby interrupted. “The second any other Demon King catches wind that you’ve allied yourself with the Exalted One, they’ll turn on you. If they turn on us … well, we’re all going to be feeling Lucifer’s wrath.”

“So, I have to play the political game?” I sighed. “Try to manipulate my allies into doing what I want them to do, and then ask for forgiveness later?”

“Unfortunately, that sounds like your best option.” Eligor nodded. “Luckily for you, we already have a perfect excuse to go after Beelzebub.”

“I second that, bro,” Todd agreed. “You don’t get a better excuse to whack a mother fucker than when he tries to make you Batman and then threatens to invade your turf.”

“Make me Batman?” I implored with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, bro,” the imp explained. “He kidnapped your parents and tried to kill ‘em. Dead parents are, like, the origin story of every single superhero I’ve ever heard of.”

“Wonder Woman?” Tris asked from the couch.

“Doesn’t count, Slothy,” Todd retorted. “She was sculpted out of fucking clay by Zeus.”

“Superman?” I questioned.

“Ma and Pa Kent don’t count, bro,” he shook his head, “his real parents died with the planet.”

“What about Thor?” I argued. “His parents are both still alive and well.”

“Depends on which story you’re reading,” the imp shrugged, “I’m telling you, bro. You want to be a superhero? Just kill your parents.”

“Excuse me?” I heard my mother’s voice gasp from the doorway.

Todd’s eyes went wide, and he nearly twisted his head one-hundred and eighty degrees to see my parents standing in the threshold of the living room.

“Oh, uh, hey Mr. and Mrs. Ralston,” he chuckled. “Me and Jakey were just--”

“Todd just made a joke that was in bad taste,” I explained. “You know how he is.”

My parents both looked at each other, shook their heads, and laughed.

“That’s not surprising,” my dad mused. “Todd always seems to be sticking his foot in his mouth.”

“Whoa, Mr. Ralston,” the imp gasped as he put his hands up. “I dunno what kinda kinky shit you’re into, but the only thing that goes into this mouth right here is grub, weed, and pussy. Speaking of which, how you doin’, Maria?”

My mom’s face contorted into a look of disgust, but she tried her best to ignore the imp’s words.

“Your father and I just wanted to come check in on you, Jacob,” she explained. “We wanted to see how your mission went and how you were holding up after, well, you know … ”

“Plus,” Dad added, “we wanted to get out of our quarters. Your girlfriend who lives in the wing next to us won’t stop blaring music at all hours of the day, usually that crap you listened to in high school.”

“Nooooooo,” Todd gasped. “Jakey, you listened to emo music in high school?”

“Sure,” I chuckled, and then I turned back to my parents. “The mission went fine. We caught our guy and got the information we needed out of him.”

“But how are you feeling, Son?” Dad asked sadly. “Or should I say-- er, I don’t know what to call you anymore.”

I placed my hand on my father’s shoulder and looked sharply into his blue eyes.

“You’re still my father,” I reassured him. “I may not have your DNA, but you still raised me like I was your own. And you sure as hell were a better Dad than that other fuckwit who calls himself my ‘father.’”

“Honey,” my mom sighed, “you sound like you’ve got a lot of repressed anger. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’ll be fine,” I promised. “In fact, we were just talking about our plan to get that guy out of the picture.”

“Uhhhhhh,” Dad groaned curiously, “how exactly do you plan on doing that? I thought he couldn’t be killed, other than by you know who. And even then, that’s only going to happen during the End Times.”

“I don’t know, Dad,” I admitted, “but I’m going to do my damnedest to try. I’ve got thousands of loyal subjects and some of the best friends a guy could ask for. Lucifer is as good as toast.”

“Once you gain more followers and take on more territories,” Superbia added. “And gain more powers. And come up with a more cohesive plan. And--”

“I get it,” I interrupted. “I’ve got a long way to go, but we can make it happen. We’ve been an unstoppable team so far, right? None of the Demon Lords even stand a fuckin chance.”

Our chances are increased when we work together.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Mephisto’s voice. The Master of Whispers may have been a large, orange-skinned demon with giant horns and a mouth that was eternally sewn shut, but the slithery, telepathic way he spoke was far more intimidating than anything about his physical appearance.

“Doesn’t anybody knock around here?” I grumbled as I turned toward the Demon Lord.

Mephisto and Gamigin were entering up through the staircase from the main foyer of the castle. The Master of Whispers was hovering silently above the brimstone, but his companion was about as subtle in his approach as a rhinoceros. The other demon’s massive, hoof-shaped shoes plodded against the stairs and clopped loudly as he walked. Gamigin was out of breath when he reached the top of the stairwell, and I swore his breaths were coming out as whines.

“There--there are no doors here, my master,” the horse-faced demon joked. “We could not knock if we wanted to.”

We come bearing news, Jacob Ralston. Some that is fortunate, and some that is unfortunate.

“Great,” I mumbled. “I was just about to call everyone to the War Room so we could have a meeting, but since we’re all right here in the living room, we may as well talk here.”

Excellent. We have already summoned Daniel, as well.

I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on here. Why were my Demon Lords making decisions without consulting me? Were Mephisto and Gamigin up to something? Surely they wouldn’t try to betray me after everything I’d done for them.

“Next time,” I stated as I tried to reassert my authority, “please give me some sort of warning before you barge in here unannounced. And if you don’t mind, I’ll handle the assembly of my Shades.”

Mephisto bowed his head, and Gamigin instantly got down on one knee to do the same.

“Yes, master,” the horse-faced demon apologized. “I should have known better. I assure you, we meant no ill will by our gesture.”

“I know you didn’t,” I lied, “it’s just an FYI. That’s all.”

Right on cue, the leader of my Shade army, Daniel, appeared in the stairwell.

“I heard there was a party going on up here?” the blond man joked as he entered the living room.

Not a party, an official War Council Meeting, Mephisto corrected.

“I believe he was being facetious,” Gamigin whispered.

“Sprechen sie English!” Todd said as he cleared his throat obnoxiously. “If you’re gonna insult us, at least do it in our language, bro.”

“Uh, he was being funny,” the demon elaborated. “I was simply telling The Master of Whispers that Daniel was being funny.”

“Oh,” Todd shrugged, “why didn’t you just say so, bro?”

“I did,” Gamigin grumbled. “Maybe if you had an IQ higher than a beached trout … ”

“Guys!” I blurted. “I won’t have division within my ranks. Hell already has enough of that shit going on, and I’m not going to let it happen with my subjects. Now, what was this news you said was so important?”

I bring news from the Second Circle, master. I have been conversing with Mammon, the Demon King of that domain, and I’m pleased to inform that he is open to the idea of an alliance.

I could feel my heart flutter in my chest, but I tried to stay as calm and regal as I possibly could.

We already had Asmodeus and the First Circle on our side, but now we might have the Second, too? And without any sort of bloodshed?

It almost sounded too good to be true.

“How likely do you think Mammon is to join us?” I asked the orange-skinned demon.

I am not sure, he admitted. He has told me he is entertaining the idea, but he wants to meet you in person first.

“Then we should bring him in.” I nodded.

“Oh!” Libidine gasped excitedly. “Invite him and Asmodeus here for a royal banquet.”

“Some of the best political deals in the history of man were made over dinner,” Eligor agreed. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”

“I can make the food,” Gula offered, “and maybe Ariel could whip together some cool-looking centerpieces and the rest of the your succubi could act as the welcome party.”

“I know how to play the political game,” Ira spoke up. “I could be your ‘ambassador’ to Mammon.”

“I will make no promises about what I will or will not do,” Tris called out from the couch. “Especially for a commitment that’s not happening right here and now.”

“I will also act as an ambassador,” Cupi offered. “As will Eligor and Superbia. Between the four of us, your Demon Lords, and Asmodeus, there is no way Mammon leaves here as anything less than an ally.”

“I really hope so,” I agreed. “We’re going to need all the help we can get to defeat Beelzebub.”

“That’s where the bad news comes in,” Gamigin sighed. “Now that you’ve confined the Lord of the Flies to Hell, he has moved up the preparations for his assault. Apparently, his forces have mobilized and are on their way here as we speak.”

“Fuck.” I gasped as my heart fell into my stomach. “How long do we have before they get here?”

The horse-faced demon simply shrugged.

“There is no telling,” he admitted. “However, we are fortunate the Seventh Circle stands between the two of you. Abbadon has refused to take a side in this conflict, and his forces have been holding off Beelzebub’s for about two days now. Unfortunately, once Beelzebub gets through this roadblock, he can link up his army with those of Baphomet and Gressil, and then they will be in the perfect position to invade our kingdom.”

“Abbadon is fighting against Beelzebub?” I tried to clarify. “Why is he doing that if he hasn’t chosen a side?”

“Because he’s certifiably insane, Jacob,” Cupi warned. “Abbadon is the most crazed of the Demon Kings, and I’m sure he isn’t taking too kindly to another ruler infringing on his turf.”

“Could we get him on our side?” I pondered aloud.

The room went silent as everybody looked at me like I was out of my mind.

“That’s--I don’t know,” the blonde succubus finally responded. “Abbadon has never been one to play well with others. Just ask the last Demon King who tried to work with him.”

“Who was that?” I continued to prod.

“Bro,” Todd sighed with a facepalm, “for a Demon King, you sure don’t know your demonic lore. Ever heard of a little guy called Baracleses?”

I shook my head, which drew another sigh from the imp.

“Baracleses was the original King of the Third Circle,” Superbia explained. “He was a fairly powerful ruler, one of Lucifer’s best. That is, until he crossed Abbadon. Sometime in the seventeenth century B.C., Baracleses grew too cocky for his own good. He tried to bait Abbadon into forming a lopsided alliance that would have given all the benefit to himself and next to nothing to the king of the Seventh Circle.”

“So … what happened?” I asked curiously. “Did Abbadon sniff the bad deal out?”

“That’s exactly what he did,” the redhead nodded, “Abbadon pretended to go along with the agreement, and he even went so far as to invite Baracleses and his most powerful Demon Lords into his home so they could discuss the parameters of the alliance. Then, while they were there, he had his men kill them all.”

“Holy fuck, bro,” Todd whistled. “He Red Wedding-ed those poor bastards. How low can you get?”

“That’s not all,” the madame continued, “after he slayed the King of the Third Circle, he sent his minions into the fallen king’s domain and had them ransack the entire thing. Those slush-covered bodies we encountered when we traveled through the place? The Shades weren’t always like that. It was Abbadon’s idea, one that he essentially got Belphegor to adopt when he took over through pure intimidation.”

“Damn,” I mused. “Is it bad I actually kind of want this guy on my side?”

“Jacob!” Liby gasped.

“What?” I shrugged. “He may be batshit crazy, but he’s a wild card. If we want to pull out all the stops and defeat Beelzebub once and for all, we’re going to need somebody like that on our side.”

My words were only a half-truth. Yes, I wanted Abbadon on our side, but it wasn’t for fighting Beelzebub. If we truly wanted to take down Lucifer himself, we needed somebody who was unpredictable, powerful, and clever.

It sounded like Abbadon was all of the above.

Master? If I may, I would suggest we don’t court this idea of allying ourselves with Abbadon.

“I second that notion,” Eligor nodded, “he’s too unpredictable.”

“That’s what I like about him,” I admitted. “Beelzebub will never be able to guess what will happen next, because I don’t even think Abbadon will know! Plus, he’s right there, next to the Eighth Circle. Do you have any idea how beneficial it would be to have a sanctuary for our men just one circle away from our final destination?”

“Yeah,” Todd interjected. “I could totally use my Predator powers to turn our troops invisible, and then we could move ‘em through the Fifth and Sixth Circles undetected.”

“Now you’re thinking with your noodle,” I said with a wink. “I like it.”

“Uhhhhh,” Todd groaned, and then he floated over to my ear to whisper. “Bro, you should totally say ‘no homo’ after complimenting another man’s noodle.”

“That’s not what I meant, Todd,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “I mean I like your idea. I think we should invite Abbadon to this dinner, too.”

“Master, if I may … ” Gamigin interjected, “having Abbadon come here might be a tad unwise.”

“How so?” I argued. “He’s coming to us, we’re not going to him. If he tries anything funny, then we’ll kick his ass and take over his Circle, too.”

“I don’t think you realize how powerful he is,” Sia protested. “Think Azazel, but one-hundred times more sadistic and cruel.”

That mental image caused a knot to twist up in my stomach, but I had to push onward. We needed this guy and his territory if we ever wanted to stand a chance against Lucifer.

“Invite him anyway,” I demanded. “That’s an order. He might be crazy and sadistic, but he doesn’t sound stupid. Even Abbadon would know how dumb it would be to start something in the domain of another Demon King.”

Mephisto and Gamigin looked at each other with concern in their eyes, but then they nodded at each other.

As you wish, master. I shall inform Mammon of this invitation and tell him you look forward to hosting him.

“And I shall send one of my spies to Abbadon,” Gamigin explained with a twinge of concern in his voice. “They will deliver the invitation to him, as well.”

“Thank you,” I said to the demons, and then they both turned around and headed back down the stairs.

Daniel had been standing there with his arms crossed the whole time, but he finally raised his hand eagerly.

“So, uh, what is my role in this meeting?” he questioned. “Don’t tell me I have to just sit on the sidelines while you guys have all the fun.”

“Actually,” I began, “I do have a job for you and Ariel and some of your finest men. I want you guys to show off your fighting skills, using the weapons and armor that Ariel built. That way, we can give our potential new allies a taste of what they will be getting if they join us.”

“An excellent idea, my friend,” Daniel said through a toothy grin. “I’ll go tell the angel, and then we can get started right away.”

The blond Shade could hardly contain his giddiness as he spun around and dashed down the stairs like a madman.

“That was very impressive,” I heard my mother chuckle from behind me.

“It looks like we raised a regular little Calvin Coolidge over here,” Dad added proudly. “Jacob can negotiate with the best of ‘em.”

“Thanks, guys,” I laughed, “but I really don’t know what we just got ourselves into.”

Everybody got a kick out of my words, but they weren’t false. I didn’t know anything about Abbadon other than what I’d been told from my succubi and my two Demon Lords. And from all of their accounts, he was a wildcard, a stick of dynamite with a mystery fuse that could blow at any minute.

I just hoped that, when he did blow up, it would be against Beelzebub or Lucifer, and not me.

Chapter 3

After our war council meeting had concluded, my team went off to prepare for our little party.

Superbia was in charge of all of the logistics, with Libidine as her assistant. The two succubi were currently out and about in the Fourth Circle, looking for Shades who’d be willing to act as servers and who could help move tables and all that fun shit.

Todd and Tris had been tasked with finding Charron, the Ferryman of Hell, and giving him a message to deliver to Asmodeus. It was a very simple task, but it was also one I knew wasn’t going to cause much pushback from the imp and the Sister of Sloth.

Right now, I was sauntering through the North Wing of the castle, headed toward the dining hall and the massive kitchen facilities that were housed in its bowels. As I grew closer to my destination, my nose picked up the decadent, sweet smell of whatever Gula was whipping up in the kitchen. Even though I was far from hungry, my stomach grumbled when the aroma hit my nostrils, and I wanted a taste of whatever she was making.

I entered the bustling industrial-sized kitchen to find Gula with her back to me, and her hands were on her wide hips as she observed several Shades running around like madmen. The succubus had a comically-large chef’s hat on her head, and her normally skimpy outfit was replaced by a loose-fitting white smock that ran the full length of her body.

I guess even an ancient sex demon wasn’t immune from the wrath of the Health Code.

I snuck up behind the redhead, slid my arms around her hips and then placed my head on her shoulder.

“What’s going on here, beautiful?” I asked playfully.

“I like this position,” she purred.“I don’t think we’ve ever tried it standing up before.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” I laughed and gave her a tender kiss on her neck.

“Jacob!” she gasped through a chuckle. “Not in front of my employees. How are they going to get this massive banquet done if their boss is too busy fucking her boss to lead them?”

“We could always go to the freezer,” I said with a wink. “The two of us have some fond memories in there, don’t we?”

“You mean when Tristitia and I locked you in the freezer and then set the whole building on fire?” Gula chuckled. “I don’t know if that’s quite a ‘fond’ memory.”

“It was for me,” I shrugged, “that’s when I realized just how crafty and resourceful you were.”

“Stopppp,” Gula giggled. “You’re going to make me blush. I’m trying to keep an air of authority going around here.”

“Ah,” I nodded as I pulled away from the succubus, “I forgot you like to use the Ramsay method of kitchen management.”

“I’m not that vulgar,” the redhead shrugged, “I just like to run a tight ship, that’s all.”

“So, what’s on the menu for our oh-so-esteemed guests?” I asked as I watched a Shade in a chef outfit fill up a pot of water.

The succubus finally turned around, and I saw her eyes were full of wonder and excitement. She clapped her hands together, rubbed them vigorously, and then threw them out in exclamation of her accomplishment.

“Now that we’re allies with Asmodeus, I’ve been able to get shipments of food from the First Circle,” Gula explained. “Now, we can eat more than just Vargrat meat!”

“Oh thank god,” I sighed with relief, but then I quickly caught myself. “Not that your Vargrat dishes weren’t good, of course. It’s just, eating the same type of thing day after day can get a little--”

“I get it, Jacob,” the redhead smiled, “I was growing tired of it, as well. That’s why for this extravaganza I’m making smoked pork tenderloin with a maple glaze.”

“Oh dear,” I whistled as my stomach growled once more. “That sounds fucking amazing.”

“It will be,” she giggled. “Especially when it’s paired with homemade biscuits and sauteed green beans.”

My stomach growled again at the succubus’ words, and I grabbed my gut jokingly.

“If you don’t stop talking right now,” I warned, “I’m gonna have to go help myself, even if it’s still fucking raw.”

“I actually got that reference!” Gula announced proudly.

“I knew you would,” I shot back with a wink. “Keep up the good work, Gula. I’m going to go check on your other sisters and see how everything’s coming along for tonight.”

“Just don’t get too caught up in their company,” the redhead warned and smirked. “They all have work to do, too.”

“I’m going to see Ira first,” I explained as I began to back out toward the door. “I don’t think I want to get too caught up with her work.”

I gave Gula a final wave, and then I turned around and headed out toward the main entrance of the castle. I wound through the hallways for a bit before I entered the courtyard, crossed over the lowered drawbridge, and then headed toward Ira’s building.

The “Playground.”

It was where the Sister of Wrath thought up all of her new torture methods, both for our enemies and for the Shades who inhabited our Circle. The building was only about half a mile away from the main castle, but it was always easy to find.

Ira’s Playground was built into a massive warehouse made out of black brimstone and then covered all around by a layer of shiny black leather. It may not have been the most aesthetically pleasing, but it was what the Sister of Wrath wanted.

As I approached the door, I could hear the sound of a whip cracking alongside muted gasps of ecstasy.

Did I really want to know what was going on in there?

I took a deep breath, reached up, and pressed the doorbell.

The noise from within the building ceased, and then I heard the distinct sound of high heels clomping along concrete growing closer. Then the plug-shaped doorknob twisted, and I was greeted by Ira’s Dom.

“Well hello, handsome,” she mused as she looked me up and down. “Did this naughty boy come to play with us today?”

“Us?” I questioned as I stepped through the threshold. “Who else do you have--”

My question was answered before I could even get it out.

There, hanging from a series of fibrous ropes in the middle of the room, was Ira’s submissive half. The sub was completely naked save for the blindfold over her eyes and the ball gag in her mouth. The ropes were strategically tied around her body so her legs were spread widely apart and her massive breasts were squished between their constraints. There were long, thin cuts and bruises all over her body, assumedly from the whip her Dominatrix was using.

“Hyy Jcb!” the sub tried to greet me through her gag.

“Uh, hi Ira,” I chuckled back awkwardly before I turned back to the Dom. “What’s she doing here? I thought your sub was still making the political rounds on Earth?”

“Cgrss issn’t in sessn,” the sub mumbled.

The Dom strutted over to the hanging woman, pulled the gag out of her mouth with a wet pop, and then patted her on the head.

“There you go,” she purred, “now you have permission to talk.”

“Congress isn’t in session,” the sub repeated. “We’re on recess for another month or two, which means--”

The Dom slapped the thigh of the sub as hard as she possibly could, and the sub let out a happy yelp.

“Which means we have alllll the time in the world to have fun,” Ira’s Dom finished.

“Hopefully not too much fun,” I reminded the two halves of the sister of Wrath. “Our guests will be coming later today, and I want them to see all the crazy methods of torture we use here in my kingdom.”

The Dom’s face stretched into a frown.

“We don’t use torture here, though,” she reminded me. “Outside of my playground and the occasional interrogation, you have us treat the Shades well.”

“I know that,” I confirmed with a nod. “We’re not monsters. However, if we want to court two more Demon Kings, we’ll have to pretend like we are. So, pull out all the stops for tonight.”

The Dom’s eyes lit up, and then she bounced up and down excitedly.

“Does that mean I can finally bring out that large box of razor wire and salt?” she asked hopefully.

“Fuckkkkk yes!” the sub gasped orgasmically.

“Uh, sure,” I mused as I tried not to think of what they were planning to do with that stuff. “I’m giving you free reign to go crazy for one night.”

“We won’t disappoint you, master,” the sub announced.

Ira’s Dom shot the sub a dirty look, and then she brought the whip down hard on her back. The sub groaned seductively as her eyes filled with tears and her body tensed up, but she was loving every second of it.

“Don’t fucking call him ‘master!’” The Dom growled. “When we’re in here, I’m your master, remember?”

“Y-Yesss,” the sub cooed orgasmically.

“I think I’ll let you get back to your work here,” I announced as I began to head for the door. “Lots of, uh, other people I gotta visit.”

“Have fuuuuun,” the sub purred as I opened up the door to leave. “We know we certainly will be.”

I couldn’t help but shudder as I shut the door and heard the whipping begin once more. I’d never really been into Ira’s crazy form of sadomasochism, but it was a small price to pay to be around a woman who was that fucking sexy. Besides, she always seemed to tone it down when we made love.

When it was her two halves going at it, though? All bets were off.

About a half-mile off to the west of the Playground sat the coliseum, a giant stadium that once acted as the home of Azazel’s monthly “joust” tournaments. Now, the brimstone structure had been converted into the main training facility for my Shade Army, complete with an armory workshop for the beautiful angel, Ariel.

Cupi, Eligor, and Daniel were there right now, assuredly training my forces for their little demonstration tonight. Cupi and Eligor were two of the most brilliant tacticians I’d ever met, and I was sure they were going to be fine.

However, I was a bit concerned about Ariel. The literal angel had agreed to leave her posting in Heaven and serve as my head blacksmith in the Fourth Circle, and she’d been hard at work these last few weeks building up my armory. Her work was incredible, but she didn’t have much material to craft with.

Asmodeus was currently the only major ally I had, and he wasn’t really known for his military accomplishments. His army was small and weak, and his own Circle was one of peace and civility.

Between the two of us, all Ariel had to work with were the weapons we could buy from Black Bart or ones we could make out of the limited resources around us.

I trusted the angel, but I was skeptical of what she could possibly come up with given our current situation.

I walked up to the simple building made of brimstone bricks, rapped on the door, and awaited an answer.

Finally the door popped open, and before me stood the gorgeous redheaded angel known as Ariel.

The woman was wearing a skin-tight black tank top that put her freckled shoulders and perfectly-toned arms on display, and atop her strawberry red locks she wore a welding visor with its hood flipped up. Her black leggings were covered with flecks of metal and grease, and she was still holding her blow torch and hammer in her free hand.

Ariel’s dark brown eyes looked me over amusedly as a thin smile spread across her lips.

“Well, well,” she said as she clicked her tongue, “if it isn’t the boss-man, come to check out my progress.”

“Who? Me?” I joked as I pointed to myself. “I’m just here because I wanted to see how my favorite angel was doing.”

“Don’t let Raphael hear you say that,” the redhead retorted playfully. “Seriously, don’t. I think that might actually break his heart to hear.”

“Fine,” I admitted. “How’s my favorite angel in Hell?”

“Isn’t it Cupi?” Ariel harumphed. “Or maybe Eligor?”

“No, no,” I shook my head, “they’re both fallen angels. Totally different than the pure, unadulterated beauty that’s standing before me right now.”

“Unadulterated?” Ariel asked with a raised eyebrow. “You mortals really do fall for all of the Exalted One’s PR, don’t you?”

“Who are you calling ‘mortal?’” I mused as I entered the workshop. “In case you haven’t heard, I’m a Nephilim.”

“Nephilim, smephilim,” Ariel said with a wave of her hand. “You’ll always be Jacob Ralston to me, the mortal who was a god on Earth.”

“Shhhhh,” I warned coyly. “You could be tried for heresy just for saying that.”

“I don’t think the Exalted One is paying too much attention,” she admitted. “I was just a poorly, low-level blacksmith, remember? He probably doesn’t even know I’m gone, honestly.”

“You helped us break out of Heaven, defeat Metatron, and then banish Beelzebub back to Hell,” I reminded her. “You are definitely on his radar.”

The beautiful redhead just shrugged.

“It’s not his radar I want to be on,” she purred. “Now, all I care about is your kicking your enemies’ sorry butts!”

The fit redhead gave a little fist-pump in celebration, and then she bashfully looked down at the ground and kicked her foot lightly against the floor.

“Well, Ms. Blacksmith,” I chuckled, “what have you got for me?”

Ariel gave me a slight nod, and then she walked over to one of her workbenches and placed her tools down on its stony top.

“Are you ready for this?” She smiled as she pulled off the welding hood and set it next to the tools. “Because I’m really, reaalllly proud of it.”

The angel sauntered over to a nearby barrel full of two-handed weapons, firmly grasped one of the metal hilts, and then produced a battle hammer that must have been four feet long. She grunted as she struggled to handle the massive weapon, and then she handed it off to me.

The hammer nearly caused me to fall forward when its weight shifted into my hands, but I was able to quickly catch myself. Then I lifted the giant weapon up to my eyes and inspected it intensely.

The hilt of the hammer was adorned with all sorts of intricate metal work, shaped into interlocking loops that twisted down the weapon like a iron-clad snake. The head of the warhammer was a dual-wielder, with a squared-off, flat surface on one side and a scythe-like sickle on the other. At the very bottom of the hilt sat the small, carved image of a goat’s head.

“I like this little detail,” I chuckled and pointed at the sculpture. “I wasn’t too sure about the goat-headed shit at first, but now that everybody in my cult has one on their daggers, I’ve just learned to embrace it. At least it’s not a lizard or an eagle or anything generic like that.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Ariel smiled, “because I made it personally for you.”

I was taken aback by her words, but then quickly recovered with a shake of my head.

“You made this for me?” I gasped. “It’s … really fucking good. Like, some of the finest metal work I’ve ever seen. But how am I supposed to carry this mammoth of a weapon into battle?”

“That’s why I made it out of pure metal taken from the beams of some of our Shade’s dwellings,” she admitted. “I made sure to test every piece for magic before I melted it down, so you should be able to meld it without any issues. If you look closely, you’ll see it even has a cute little loop for your belt! And you know what the best part is? I forged this weapon with my own Divine-Light enchanted hammer.”

“Which meannnnss?” I questioned, mostly because I had no idea what that meant.

Ariel just rolled her eyes sarcastically and sighed in an over-dramatic way.

“It means that it will always retain its original shape,” she explained. “So, no matter how many times you melt it down or change its form, it will always come back to this intricate design when you command it to. And, the hammer will always have a bit of Divine Light powering it, which makes it even stronger.”

I was impressed. Finding non-enchanted metal in Hell was hard to do, but enough to build a huge fucking warhammer that would always retain its shape and was powered by Divine Light?

Ariel had outdone herself.

I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands, surrounded the weapon with its glow, and then commanded it to liquify into a grenade-sized ball. Sure as day, the material in the warhammer responded, and soon I was holding little more than a five-inch silver ball with an attached loop. I reached down, fastened it to my belt right next to the Unhallowed Sword, and then patted it for good measure.

“You really fucking outdid yourself, Ariel,” I whistled. “I think this thing alone will be enough to impress our new allies.”

“Then it’s a really good thing I went above and beyond and made more, huh?” Ariel giggled. “Like I always say, ‘anything worth doing is worth overdoing!’”

The angel bounced over to a large, open area of the workshop. It was pitch-black, but I could tell it stretched on for dozens of feet, and I could vaguely make out the shape of a human figure off in the distance.

Ariel summoned a bout of Divine Light into her hands, launched it at the ceiling of the workshop, and then set ablaze the oversized torch that hung from the roof. The entire area was illuminated by the angel’s spell, and I could now see the human shape was nothing more than a mannequin sitting alone inside of a cavernous warehouse.

However, the figure was wearing armor.

“Divine Light really keeps down the electric bill.” Ariel winked as she began to walk toward the mannequin and motioned for me to follow.

“I’m the King of the Fourth Circle,” I chuckled, “we don’t have to pay an electric bill.”

Once we were a few feet from the armored figure, Ariel halted in her tracks and made an exaggerated gesture with her hands.

“Go ahead,” she demanded proudly. “Take a swing at it with one of your weapons.”

“Uh, you sure?” I asked curiously. “The Unhallowed Sword is one of the most powerful blades in the universe.”

“We’ll see,” the redhead winked, “now try it.”

I thought it over for a second, but then I just shrugged and unsheathed the black metal sword from my belt. I readied the blade in my hands, hauled it back, and then swung directly for the breastplate of the mannequin.

The thin metal of the weapon struck the plating and crumpled it like a tin can. The entire front was caved in as if it had been hit by a freight train, and a large gash appeared directly where a human’s heart would have been.

“Uhhhhh,” I groaned awkwardly as I held the sword back down to my side, “was that supposed to happen, or did I totally just ruin your best piece of armor?”

“That was supposed to happen.” Ariel grinned. “This is rock armor, molded out of the very brimstone that makes up the ground around here. It’s brittle and easy to break, but it’s durable beyond belief. Especially when it’s given a little enhancement ...”

The redhead summoned the white light back into her hands, and then she placed it delicately against the dented breastplate. Instantly, the brimstone material was engulfed with the blinding shimmer of her spell, and it lasted even after she pulled her hands away.

“Unlike other rocky material, the composition of brimstone makes it highly absorbent for magic,” she explained. “Many demons have brimstone armor enchanted with Hellfire, and lots of angels have metal armor that is protected by Divine Light, but there’s never been a combination of Divine Light and brimstone armor. It’s the best of both worlds. Try your sword again.”

I gave the redhead a confirmation nod, and then I heaved my blade toward the armor once more.

This time, the Unhallowed Sword struck the Divine-powered breastplate and bounced off harmlessly.

Although I was in complete shock, I lashed out twice more with my weapon.

Still nothing.

“Holy fuck,” I said as I admired the angel’s work, “and you think you can make this for all of my Shades?”

“Given enough time,” she explained. “As you can probably imagine, brimstone is a pain in the rear to work with.”

“If you could somehow make enough of this armor for my entire army, we’ll be invincible!” I laughed.

“Now, now,” Ariel scoffed as she wagged her finger, “let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. The armor itself is really powerful, but I had to leave a lot of open spaces for the sake of mobility. That, and the fact that they are still somewhat susceptible to bludgeoning damage, makes them not quite my finest work.”

“Ariel,” I mused as I sheathed my sword, “this is some of the greatest armor in the history of the universe. You’re selling yourself way too short.”

“Maybe,” the redhead shrugged, “I just wanna make sure it’s impressive enough for all these other Demon Kings. The stories I’ve heard about them, Jacob … they don’t take failure very well.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” I reassured the angel. “One, your shit is awesome, and they’re going to love it. Two, these guys are coming into my domain. Even if they aren’t one-hundred percent satisfied, they’re going to be respectful of you, or I’m gonna kick their asses.”

A slight blush crept up Ariel’s face, and she looked away bashfully.

“You--You’d really do that for me?” she asked coyly. “I’m sorry if I’m acting weird. I’m just not used to being recognized for, well, anything.”

“Then they must not have been paying attention,” I scoffed. “Your work is the finest I’ve ever seen. Like, seriously, you have a natural talent for this stuff.”

“You’re too kind,” Ariel blushed, “and this is so strange. I choose to serve the one Demon King who’s nicer than most of the angels I know.”

“What can I say?” I mused. “It must be that ‘ol midwestern hospitality in my blood. You can take the boy outta the Missouri, but you can never take the Missouri out of the boy.”

“I kinda like it,” the angel purred. “It makes you ten times more attractive than you already are.”

“Is that so?” I shot back with a raised eyebrow. “And how attractive did you find me in the first place?”

Ariel slapped my shoulder jokingly and smirked.

“Don’t play dumb, ‘My Leige,’” she laughed. “You’re a hunky ten, and you darn well know it.”

“You’re quite beautiful yourself,” I purred.

Now, Ariel’s face turned so red that it matched her hair. Then the angel let out an awkward giggle as she covered her face with her hands and sighed.

“There’s no need for flattery,” she mused. “You’ve already got me here fortifying your army.”

“I’m not trying to flatter you,” I promised, and then I placed my hand against her delicate cheek. “I’m being honest.”

“Come on now,” she sighed as she shook her head. “I’ve been working for hours. I’m all hot and sweaty, my hair’s a mess, and I’m wearing the first thing I threw on from my closet this morning. I look like a hot mess.”

“You could never look like a ‘hot mess,’” I reassured the angel. “Not to me.”

Ariel’s brown eyes filled with passion as she stared deeply into my own, and her mouth scrunched up as if she were trying to hold back what she was thinking. Then, before either or us could say another word, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine.

The angel’s kiss tasted sweeter than any woman I’d been with before, and for a moment I wondered if it was because her kind were pure beings with pure souls. Then her hand began to slip down my midriff, and my mind shot back to the situation at hand.

The redhead’s delicate fingers ran along my loose-fitting shirt and pressed against my abs tenderly. Then the angel went for my belt. She popped off my weapon holster in a singular motion, and then she fumbled with the fastener on my pants. Finally, Ariel gave the garment a slight tug, and I was completely exposed.

“Oh my Exalted One!” Ariel gasped when she saw my dick at half-mast. “That’s--That’s not even it’s full size, is it?”

“Only one way to find out.” I winked.

The redhead’s lips pursed into a coy smile as she stared at my growing erection, and before I could say another word, she began to tug off her shirt.

Ariel’s tank top came over her head and exposed her perky b-cups to the warm air of the warehouse. Her pink nipples were small but thick, and they both stood at attention to greet me. Much like her face and shoulders, the woman’s skin was covered with adorable freckles all down her body, from her slender neck all the way down to her tight, toned abs.

As I fumbled to take off my dirty white shirt, Ariel got busy removing her pants. Once I yanked my shirt over my head and threw it to the ground beside us, the beautiful redhead was fully undressed.

My eyes traveled up her statuesque body, and I started with her cute feet before I slid up her toned legs and stopped on the small patch of fire-red hair that adorned the slit between her legs.

I didn’t think there could have been a more perfect body had the Exalted One sculpted it himself.

Ariel bit her lip and looked at me hopefully.

“Well?” she asked. “Do you like what you see?”

“Doesn’t my rock-hard erection tell you that?” I laughed and motioned to my cock.

“It’s just … ” she trailed off nervously. “I’ve never slept with a demon before. Let alone a Demon King. I feel so … naughty, you know?”

“Then don’t think of me as a Demon King,” I nodded and moved in closer, “think of me as Jacob Ralston, the little ‘ol Kansas City boy who got in way too far over his head and just wants to make things right.”

“I-I think that might help.” The redhead grinned and took a step closer.

Now, our bodies were only a few inches away from each other, and I went in for it all. Our tongues danced in each other’s mouths as our hands explored each other’s bodies.

Ariel’s skin was soft as silk, and her body was as tight as a well-tied knot.

We kissed passionately for a second or two before I made my move. I reached down, placed my hand on the back of Ariel’s thigh, and then raised her leg so it was on my hip. Then I forcefully pushed her backward until her back was firmly up against the wall of the warehouse.

Ariel let out a gasp of surprise, but then she wrapped her leg tightly around my rear and pulled me in close.

The tip of my dick hit the lips of her pussy and then began to slide inside. The angel was sopping wet, but very tight, so I had to wiggle my hips back and forth a few times to coat my shaft with her juices before I could fully penetrate her. Then I was suddenly filling a few inches of her tight tunnel, and we both let out a moan in unison.

“G-Go all the way in,” she demanded. “I can take it all.”

I wasn’t going to argue with that.

I used my leverage to push my cock all the way inside of the beautiful angel, whose eyes began to flutter back and forth in different directions. Then, once I felt myself bottom out, Ariel’s eyes rolled back in her head.

“Come on,” she begged, “I know there’s more than that.”

Without warning, Ariel tightened her leg around my waist, and I felt my pelvis being driven roughly against hers. The second I felt my balls press against her body, I had to tense up to keep myself from cumming.

“Holy shit,” I moaned. “You’re so fucking tight.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a ‘good girl’ like me,” Ariel purred. “I was just waiting for a big, sexy man like you.”

The dirty talking was really doing it for me right now, and I felt my cock growing harder inside of the angel.

I pressed Ariel back against the wall and began to slide my cock in and out of her. I started off slowly and made sure she enjoyed every inch of me that entered her wet pussy. Then, once she’d had enough of that, I began to pound her roughly.

Something told me that, despite her angelic heritage, she liked it rough.

“Yessss!” Ariel threw her head back against the wall and let out several hurried moans as her leg tightened around my ass.

I guess I was right.

Now that I had a rhythm going, I leaned forward and began to nibble on the redhead’s neck sensually. At the same time, I moved my left hand up and began to rub her perky nipples between my fingers.

“Jacob.” Ariel let out a deep moan that rocked me to my very core, and hearing her animalistic sounds of pleasure brought me closer to the brink.

I must have been doing something for the angel, too, because the walls of her pussy were now spasming tightly around my erection.

Suddenly, Ariel’s other leg flew up and wrapped around my waist. The angel was now completely up in the air, with the pressure of my body as the only thing keeping her from falling.

I moved my other hand down and slapped it firmly against the cheek of her tight ass as I pumped into her.

Ariel’s moans were becoming closer and closer together, and I felt a slight pressure building up in my pelvic area.

I kissed my way up the redhead’s neck until our lips met once again, and that’s when we both went over the edge.

Ariel’s tongue continued to aggressively dart around my mouth, but the rest of her body stopped moving. Her legs turned into a vice against my back as her pussy spasmed, and her body quivered against mine.

“Ohhhhhhh god,” she groaned against my lips as she orgasmed intensely.

“I’m going to—”

“Yes!” she cried out. “Cum in me, Jacob. Fill me up with your demon seed. I want it so bad.”

“Damn,” I gasped as I felt the coil in my pelvis uncurl, and then I moaned loudly as I unleashed deep inside of the beautiful and pure angel.

It felt like I was pouring a gallon of sperm into Ariel’s tight little tunnel, and she continued to grind her hips against mine as I came. The movement also made her walls squeeze around my shaft with a delicious tightness, and that only intensified the sensation.

Then, once her pussy had finished milking all of the cum from my cock, she unlocked her legs and stood up under her own power.

Or at least, that’s what she’d intended to do.

Instead, Ariel wobbled like crazy, and I worried she was going to fall over.

“You need a platform?” I asked as I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands. “I can totally do that.”

“Oh, no,” Ariel purred. “I think I’d rather get down on my knees.”

“What?” I gasped as my heart hammered in my chest.

The beautiful, freckled redhead lowered herself so she was level with my pelvis, and then she smiled as she wrapped her fingers around my flaccid dick.

“You heard me before,” she giggled. “My mission is to please my new leader, however that may be.”

I’d already experienced one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever had in my life, but I wasn’t going to argue with round two.

Especially when I had a sexy angel with my cock literally in her hands.

Ariel shimmied her shoulders as she examined my dick, and her breasts jiggled happily along with them. Then the redhead opened up her mouth and began to run her tongue along the shaft of my cock.

Almost instantly, I grew back to full mast.

The angel looked up at me and gave a little squeal of joy before she placed her right hand firmly on the base of my dick and brought it to her mouth. Ariel’s thin lips slid easily over the tip, and then she pushed about halfway down.

She began to simultaneously stroke my cock with her right hand and rubbed my balls with her left, all while she bobbed her head back and forth at the top.

I felt my balls begin to tighten up as they prepared to unleash another orgasm, but I wanted this to last just a little bit longer. So, I reached down and placed my hand around Ariel’s ponytail, and she let out a moan of satisfaction.

The angel pulled her right hand away, looked up into my eyes, and then pushed down until her lips were nearly touching my pelvic bone.

I tightened my grip on the back of her head as I groaned intensely. I could feel the muscles of her throat pulsating around the end of my cock, and I knew I was already on the verge of bursting.

Ariel giggled as she pulled all the way off, stared me deep in the eyes, and went back down as far as she could go. She continued this process for another three minutes, three whole minutes of pure, passion-filled bliss.

Then I couldn’t help it any more. My loins felt like they were on fire, set ablaze by this beautiful woman, and I felt like I was about to explode.

So, that was exactly what I did.

“Ariel,” I gasped, “I think I’m about to--”

Before I could even finish my sentence, the angel pulled her lips off my cock, grabbed it in her hands, and stroked it heartily.

Within seconds, I unleashed a hearty load of cum all over her face, chest, and stomach, all while she grinned happily. Finally, when all was said and done, it looked like I had turned the redhead into a Jackson Pollock painting.

“All in a hard day’s work,” Ariel giggled with a wink.

“Holy fuck,” I whistled as I summoned a purple platform and sat down on it. “You’re supposed to be an angel?”

The redhead just shrugged as she stood up, and I noticed a bunch of my cum was dripping down the inside of both of her legs. It looked like she’d pretty much taken a bath in my sperm, and the sight made my cock twitch with pleasure.

“We have needs too, ya know,” she reminded me. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go grab a towel or something.”

Ariel flipped around and walked off to find something to clean herself up with. As she walked, her perfectly tight ass bounced with each step, and I could feel my twice-drained cock regaining its energy.

Maybe I’d get a better look at that piece of art next time.

When my legs had finally stopped wobbling, I stood up, walked over to my clothes, and put them back on. As I was re-tying my belt against my waist, I saw the sexy redhead return.

She was now wearing a different shirt, a gray v-neck tee that hugged every curve of her body and displayed a picture of two pink angel wings on the front. On her lower half, Ariel had on another pair of leggings. However, these were a far departure from her normal black garment. Instead, they were what you would call “winter camo,” or camouflage pattern with the greens and browns replaced with whites, grays, and blacks.

“You changed?” I laughed when she was back within ear shot.

“Those clothes were all sweaty and gross,” she shrugged, “I was gonna change into something new tonight, anyway. You just gave me a reason to take off my old ones.”

“You were fucking incredible, by the way,” I reminded her. “I never knew angels were so good at that kind of thing.”

“I’ve got a lot of hidden talents, Jacob,” Ariel said with a wink. “Maybe next time I’ll show you another.”

“After what just happened there,” I laughed, “I will never, ever say ‘no’ to that offer.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Ariel mused. “I--”

The door of the warehouse suddenly slammed open as Cupi, Eligor, and Daniel came running in. All three of my friends looked flustered, and they were panting as if they had just been running like madmen.

“Jacob!” Daniel exclaimed. “We’ve got a problem, my friend. A big, hairy problem.”

“Clam down, guys,” I tried to reassure them. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Remember Alphamegnon?” Eligor prompted. “That half-man, half-bear demon that was locked away in the Sixth Circle?”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “what about him?”

“Well,” Cupi explained, “he’s not so locked up anymore. In fact, he’s here, in the Fourth Circle. And he’s wreaking havoc all across your domain.”

Alphamegnon. One of the monsters locked away in a fiery tomb in the Sixth Circle. I clenched my fists at the implications of his release. This was a message from our enemies, one that was loud and fucking clear.

“Daniel,” I commanded, “gather up your best warriors. The rest of you, help me round up a small strike force. We’re going bear hunting.”

Chapter 4

“Ughhhhh,” Invidia groaned as we soared through the sky. “Why am I even here right now? Couldn’t you have gotten Gula or Tris or Todd to come along instead?”

“Because,” I reminded the gothic succubus, “we need your soul-stealing powers to try and calm this beast. I’d like to get out of this with as minimal collateral damage as we can get, and the only way we’re gonna avoid that is if you take him down gently.”

“And if I can’t?” the gothic woman mumbled. “I’ve never used my powers successfully on a creature that big before.”

“If it doesn’t work, then you can get all stabby-stabby,” I joked. “Demon bears surely bleed, right?”

“It depends,” Eligor explained from her position behind my head. “Her knives are fairly short. I’m not sure Invidia would even be able to pierce the hide of a great beast like Alphamegnon.”

“Seeee?” Invidia groaned. “I totally could have stayed in my room and finished up my Invader Zim fan art.”

“It’s a shame Todd isn’t here,” Libidine giggled as she flew up beside us with Superbia in her delicate arms. “I’m sure he would have something clever to say.”

“Where did Todd and Tris go off to, anyway?” Sia pondered aloud as we approached the Screaming Fields of the Fourth Circle.

“I dunno,” I admitted. “They still haven’t come back from delivering their message, and we didn’t really have time to sit around and wait for them to get back.”

“I’m sure whatever they’re doing,” Eligor scoffed, “it involves that ‘reefer’ the imp is always talking about. I swear he’s addicted to that herb.”

“You have no idea,” I laughed and shook my head.

“Not gonna lie,” Daniel mused from Invidia’s arms, “I’m totally digging your banter, King Ralston. I can see why everyone in the Fourth Circle wants to be around you and your subjects.”

“What can I say?” I shot back sarcastically. “I’m one of a kind.”

“Quite literally,” Sia added. “The only known son of Lucifer.”

“‘Known’ is the key word there,” I snorted. “Knowing that silver-tongued fucker, he’s probably made the same speech to dozens of different spawns of his. How do I know he’s not just using me to get what he wants and then disposing of me like all his other children?”

“You don’t,” the redheaded madame sighed. “In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was exactly what Lucifer intended to do. But we won’t know until he tries something.”

“In the meantime, we just have to worry about angry half-man, half-bear demons. Why the fuck is he out here in the Screaming Fields, anyway? Shouldn’t he be rampaging around a city or something like that?”

“The Screaming Fields have strategic value,” Daniel spoke up. “It’s right next to the Flumen Ignis, the only river of freshwater in the Fourth Circle. That’s where all the steam comes from.”

I guess it made sense. The Screaming Fields got their name from the sounds that accompanied the super-hot steam that spouted out of the ground in random intervals.

“You think Alphamegnon’s trying to poison our water supply?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Eligor admitted. “Or maybe whoever sent him just wants us to not have access to it. Perhaps they think we’ll just stay away from the territory out of fear of being torn apart, limb from limb?”

“Pfffft,” I scoffed and waved my hand. “Gressil doesn’t know jack shit. When has fear of dismemberment ever stopped us before?”

Off in the distance, I could hear the shrill, high-pitched whine of steam as it escaped through the porous brimstone of the Screaming Fields. There were hundreds of misty pillars in the area, and the noise from each one blended together like a chorus of tortured souls. Even after all these months down here, even after all the fucked-up shit we’d encountered … the sound of the Screaming Fields was enough to make my blood curdle in my veins.

“I think I see him!” Daniel called out. “At your three o’clock!”

I turned my head to the side and, sure enough, there was Alphamegnon.

The demon bear was high-tailing it across the plains, dodging in and out of the pillars of steam as he headed toward the Flumen Ignis river. He was much quicker than any bear I’d encountered, and he ran so fast he only appeared as a hulking blob of brown fur striding across the landscape.

“You know the drill!” I called out to my team. “Invidia, you get down right on top of him and hit him with your silver Hellfire. Daniel, Liby, and Sia will drop down behind him, and Eligor and I will take the front. No matter what happens, he’s going to have to face us.”

“I think that’s exactly what he wants,” Sia complained. “I wouldn’t imagine Gressil sending him all the way out here just to stand around and guard a body of water.”

“How in the everloving fuck did he even get out?” I mused as we drew only a few hundred feet from the creature. “I thought his tomb was sealed off with Inferoglyphs or whatever.”

“No, no,” Eligor corrected. “Those just tell the story of the people inside the tombs. Alphamegnon was sealed off like any other demon, and he could be released at any time.”

“But I thought Gressil swore to never unseal that tomb?” Libidine questioned curiously. “This creature is one that has been infected by Divine Light, and Lucifer surely doesn’t want him running around his domain.”

“We’re at war, Liby,” I reminded the succubus. “I don’t think the regular rules apply right now.”

As we drew closer to the huge, bear-like demon, I realized just how massive he was.

Eligor hadn’t been too far off with her initial description of the demon back in the Sixth Circle.

Alphamegnon’s feet must have been the size of a small car, and his legs were as thick as tree trunks. The brown fur on his body was singed in oblong patterns, burnt away to reveal blackened, charred flesh underneath. What remained of the bear demon’s hair rippled along with his muscles as he ran across the landscape and created a thunderous stomp with each stride. Divine Light flickered out from beneath his burnt skin, illuminating the sky like a series of twisted, demonic searchlights.

Even from up here, at a distance, Alphamegnon’s head looked like it was three times the size of my figure.

I could see why even my father was worried about this guy. Now, we had to fight him.

“Alright, guys,” I gulped as I took in the sight of the bear once again. “It’s showtime.”

The group split apart, each one of us taking our positions in the battle plan.

Eligor zipped down onto the rocky ground about three-hundred feet in front of Alphamegnon, and for the first time I got a sense of just how large, fast, and pissed-off this thing was.

The second the demon bear saw us, he quickened his pace and let out an earth-shaking roar. Tiny beams of Divine Light and red Hellfire sprayed from his mouth in all directions, fueled by an internal core that glowed from deep within his gullet.

“He’s coming in fast, Jacob,” Eligor warned. “We need to make an evasive maneuver.”

“Steady … ” I said as I held out my hand.

The monster was now about one hundred feet away from us, and Vidia was still circling above as she tried to calculate the right time to strike.

“Jacob!” Eligor gasped, but I just shook my head.

Then, just as it looked like Alphamegnon was only a stride or two away, Invidia struck.

The Sister of Envy darted downward, her hand aglow with silver flames. She plummeted like a falling star, threw out her hand, and unleashed a powerful blast of her Hellfire directly into the demon-bear’s back.

Alphamegnon let out a roar of pain as Invidia’s spell engulfed him, and then he tumbled to the ground and rolled violently for a few more seconds before he came to a halt right at our feet.

He was knocked out, but I could see he was still breathing. Invidia’s spell didn’t work.

“Aw, shit,” I groaned as I heard the bear blow out a huff of air.

I reached down for my sword, but before I could make a move, one of the creature’s giant paws swept out my legs from underneath of my body. I slammed into the ground hard before the beast leapt up onto his feet.

Alphamegnon let out a bellow as he lifted his two front paws into the air, clasped them together, and then brought them down using his entire body weight.

I threw up a shield of purple Hellfire in front of my body as the bear’s claws came down on my position, and I couldn’t help but grunt with surprise when the blow forced by body down into the ground. I was now laying in a crater of cracked brimstone, with my purple shield creating a sort of makeshift roof for the stony pocketed structure.

Alphamegnon reared up once more, but was quickly knocked off balance with a blast of red Hellfire. He grunted with frustration as his paws smashed into the ground immediately to my right, but the fireball had done next to no damage.

In fact, all it did was make him even madder.

The bear took a running charge at Eligor, and I heard the flutter of her wings as she zipped up into the air and out of his path.

I used this opportunity to lower my shield, hop up to my feet, and summon green Hellfire into my hands.

If Invindia’s soul-separating powers couldn’t slow this thing down, then maybe my telekinetic magic could.

I thought about how fucking low it was for my enemies to attack me on my own turf. I thought about how horrific things would get if Alphamegnon was left unchecked and went around wreaking havoc on the Fourth Circle. Those thoughts alone were all I needed to get disgusted.

Then I threw my glowing emerald hands forward and caught the demon bear in a glowing prison of green.

However, his momentum didn’t stop.

Instead, it was like I was holding onto a leash, and Alphamegnon was my oversized dog.

I was violently yanked forward, and small jolts of pain shot through my body as the stony ground tore at my skin. Finally, I released my emerald spell and allowed myself to tumble into an upright position.

The second I was on my feet, I hurled a handful of yellow shuriken at the monster. They mostly scattered around him, but the few that did land true just stuck into his skin as if it were made of butter.

Still, it didn’t seem to phase him.

The demon bear began to hop up into the air, and he snapped at the airborne succubi and knight with his vice-like jaws.

Invidia, Libidine, and Eligor were circling the beast, and they threw down shots of yellow and red Hellfire at will.

Meanwhile, Sia and Daniel were off to the left of the action, trying to sneak up on Alphamegnon. The succubus madame held red fire in her hands, and Daniel had his sword drawn and at the ready.

“Eat steel, fur-face!” Daniel growled as he drove the blade into the bear’s side.

Alphamegnon let out a yelp as Daniel’s sword stabbed all the way down to its very hilt, but the sound of surprise and frustration quickly turned into an earth-shattering roar.

The bear demon whipped around, opened his jaws, and snapped them shut around Daniel’s head.

Blood splurted out in all directions, and my general began to scream and flail as Alphamegnon shook him like a dog shakes a toy.

“Daniel!” I gasped and ran closer to the action.

He may have been an Shade, damned to endure eternal torture yet never die, but I wasn’t going to let this fucker use Daniel as his chew toy.

As I bounded toward the horrific demon, I summoned forth purple flames into my left hand and silver flames into my right. With my silver fire, I beckoned the silver ball on my belt and ordered the metal to form my hammer. Liquified metal slithered up the side of my breastplate, traveled down my arm into my palm, and then turned into the mammoth warhammer Ariel had created for me. At the same time, I threw down a series of violet platforms and ascended them without breaking stride, until I was just above Alphamegnon.

Then I let out a scream of determination as I hopped off the final platform, raised the hammer into the air, and brought it down on the bear’s skull.

There was a distinct crunching sound as the hammer struck Alphamegnon, and then small beams of Divine Light blasted up from the top of his head.

I used my momentum to roll out of the demon’s range and began to formulate my next plan.

I may not have killed this fucker, but I’d at least fractured his skull.

More importantly, his attention was now all on me.

Maybe that was a bad thing.

Alphamegnon tossed Daniel’s body to the side and stared me down. Now that I was in such close proximity with this guy, I could see one of his wide, dead-looking eyes was filled with Divine Light, while the other glistened brightly with the magic of red Hellfire.

The bear demon opened up his jaws wide, and his throat began to glow brightly with red and white. Then he blasted me at point-blank range with a beam that mixed both of his spells.

I held up my hammer in front of me, enchanted it with purple Hellfire, and then created an enchanted barrier between me and the blast. The attack ricocheted off the violet fire and shot up into the sky like a spotlight, illuminating the desolate Screaming Fields in its light red glow.

As I held my protective spell, I saw Eligor swoop down with her double swords and slice Alphamegnon’s back. Blood sprayed up into the air, though the demon paid no attention to it.

He had his entire focus on me. I was his target.

Suddenly, my eardrums were assaulted by a high-pitched, steam-powered whine as one of the towers erupted beside me. I was still a few feet away from the thing, but even from over here I could feel the intense warmth rolling off the pillar of superheated water.

Superbia was tending to Daniel with her healing Hellfire, while Libidine, Invidia, and Eligor were all trying to get the demon’s attention away from me. They dive-bombed him with red, yellow, and silver Hellfire, but nothing was going to break him away from his ultimate goal.

Killing the King of the Fourth Circle.

I continued to hold my barrier with one hand as I reached out and summoned green Hellfire into my other. I focused in on the sword on my belt, surrounded it with the jade shimmer, and then used my magic to yank it from its sheath. While still holding my protective spell, I took aim with my sword and then flung it like a boomerang at the fucker.

The Unhallowed Sword spun end-over-end as it headed straight for Alphamegnon like an enchanted helicopter blade. It hit him right in the front right leg, and the creature went down with a groan of pain.

As he fell, his beam changed course and blasted into the ground beneath my feet. I wasn’t able to reposition my barrier in time, so there was a spray of brimstone as I was launched back into the air. I twirled wildly for a second or two before I saw a blur out of the corner of my eyes and felt two delicate arms wrap under my arms.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Libidine giggled.

“We need to get him on top of one of those steam stacks,” I ordered. “He seems to just be shrugging off all of our regular attacks, but maybe a superheated spray of water will finish the job that our Hellfire can’t.”

“On it,” Liby agreed. “Where do you want me to put you down?”

“Right on top of the bastard,” I growled.

“No way,” the succubus argued. “I’m not going to let you get within striking distance of—”

“If I’m on his back,” I explained, “I can steer him in the direction I want him to go. And maybe you guys can help out with some of your attacks? A little fiery encouragement never hurt anybody.”

“I am completely against this idea,” Liby mumbled. “It’s borderline suicide.”

“Come on,” I joked as she began to fly me over to the scene of the battle, “my plans always work out in the end, right?”

I summoned silver and green Hellfire into my hands and called back my weapons simultaneously. Then I sheathed my sword, snatched up my warhammer in my hands, and readied my assault.

“I’m not going to answer that,” Liby joked.

Alphamegnon was now limping on his wounded leg as he blasted at my friends angrily. His eyes were glowing brightly with the Divine and Demonic magic inside of him, and he looked like a completely feral animal.

“Alright,” I announced. “Three … two … now!”

Liby released her grip on me, and I went into a freefall. I outstretched my body so I was leaning forward with my arms and the warhammer tightly against my leg. After a few seconds of plummeting, I threw my hammer back into my hands, raised it in the air, and brought the pointy-end down.

Right into the nape of Alphamegnon’s back.

The demon bear shrieked and howled in agony as the massive spike stabbed into him, and then he began to shake his head vigorously as he tried to buck me off.

Red fireballs began to rain down around our position, and the bear became even more panicked.

“How’s that for motivation?” Libidine mused from above.

Once it became clear the demon wasn’t going to get me off his back, he began to run full-speed toward the river.

I knew what he was trying to do. If he couldn’t kick me off on his own, he was hoping the rushing water would do the trick.

Unfortunately for him, my friends and I had other plans.

As he ran, the fireballs from above rained down like a monsoon. Then I summoned the silver Hellfire into my hand, liquified part of my warhammer, and forced it to jerk to the side.

Alphamegnon let out another yelp as his head was forced to the right, and his momentum followed suit.

The creature must have saw where we were headed, because he let out a bellow and tried to move away. Just as he did, a crossbow bolt stabbed into the side of his neck and forced him to stay the course.

Atta boy, Daniel.

We were now only a few dozen feet away from the closest steam pillar, and I knew what I had to do.

I could lead the bear to water, but I had to force him to drink it.

Alphamegnon tried to change his course once more, but was discouraged by a blast of Hellfire from above. So, he continued running straight at the steam tower, and I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands.

The demon bear let out a shriek of pain as the superhot water blasted into his face.

The second we were on top of the thing, I threw up a square-shaped box of violet fire around Alphamegnon’s head.

He crashed into it violently, and the sudden halt in momentum nearly threw me from his back. I was able to cling onto my warhammer for stability, though, as I increased my spell.

The sounds of the demon bear’s screams and the high-pitched whine of the steam seemed to blend together in unison. Through the translucent barrier of fire, I could see the very flesh was being seared off the bear’s head. His giant noggin was now little more than seared muscle and bone as he continued to thrash about in agony.

But he wasn’t dying.

I needed to speed this up, before he--

My thoughts were cut off as the demon unleashed a blast of Divine light from his mouth and shattered my barrier.

In a desperate effort to escape the steam, Alphamegnon pushed himself up into the air and turned his body so he would crush whatever pesky fly that was latched onto his back.

I let go of my warhammer, ducked down, and propelled myself off the beast’s back. I hit the ground hard as the wind was knocked from my lungs, and then I quickly pulled myself back to my feet.

The bear beast landed with his back against the brimstone-covered ground, and the shockwave from the impact knocked me back on my ass and created a huge crater in the ground.

However, when the beast finally reappeared out of the crevice, I noticed something else.

My warhammer was now deeply embedded into his body, so much so that only about half of the hilt was sticking out.

That was it.

“Jacob!” my friends called out from above, but I held up a hand to keep them from interfering.

I knew what I had to do.

I felt like I was in the middle of a fucking western movie. Alphamegnon and I were both staring each other down, two warriors waiting patiently for the other one to make his move. I summoned silver Hellfire into my hands as I saw the Divine Light simmering beneath his exposed skull.

He opened his mouth to blast me, but I was too quick.

I liquified my metal warhammer, pushed it down into the beast’s body, hardened it, and then ordered it to spread apart.

There was an explosion of gore as chunks of metal ripped apart Alphamegnon’s neck.

His eyes rolled back in his head as his noggin snapped loose from the rest of his body and slammed down into the ground. The bear’s head rolled over to my feet as the light and fire inside of his eyes went dark, and then his body toppled over.

I sat down on the ground and let out a sigh of relief.

“Way to go, King Ralston!” Daniel exclaimed as he ran over. “I didn’t think we were ever going to defeat that thing.”

“I totally knew you’d come through,” Libidine lied coyly as she and her sisters landed next to us.

“His reckless, crazy plans usually do,” Eligor added firmly.

“That was hardcore as fuck,” Invidia cooed. “I am soooo turned on by you right now, Jacob.”

“Good to know,” I chuckled, “but maybe save that for when-=”

Before I could finish my sentence, Alphamegnon’s lifeless corpse exploded. Gallons of blood splashed onto my friends and me, and chunks of organs were thrown across the landscape with a wet plop.

All six of us stood in shock at the sight, and a few of us even began to gag at the sheer amount of viscera covering our bodies.

“Wha--What the fuck?” I managed to choke out through a dry heave. “I didn’t do anything to--”

“There was something inside the body!” Daniel exclaimed as he walked over to a small piece of paper on the ground where Alphamegnon once laid.

The Shade picked it up, wiped as much of the gore off it as he could, and then brought it back over to us.

I snatched it out of his hand, but I gagged a few more times before I unfolded it to read.

Does this count as an RSVP?- Abbadon

“What does it say?” Superbia demanded.

I crumpled it up in my hand, tossed it over my shoulder, and then headed for the river.

“It looks like Abbadon’s not coming tonight,” I announced. “Now, come on, let’s wash ourselves off before we go home. We’ve got at least one Demon King to try and woo.”

Chapter 5

As the six of us entered the main living quarters of the castle, my nose picked up the distinct sweet, smokey scent that I’d grown accustomed to through my years of living with Todd.

Weed.

The entire living room was filled with dank smoke, and my friends coughed loudly as they tried to make their way through the haze.

From across the room, Jimi Hendrix was blaring on the tiny portable speakers we’d snatched from Earth, and I could see streams of the reefer smoke being blown into circles from the couch.

“I-I think I’m going to my room,” Sia coughed as she waved her hand in front of her face. “I cannot get high. There’s still way too much work to be done around here.”

“That’s what Cupi said too, Strawberry Shortcake,” Todd’s slow, slurred voice announced from the other side of the couch. “Before she decided to piss in our Cheerios and go off to ‘train’ or some shit like that.”

“Where are the others?” I asked curiously.

I’d lived with Todd for so long that this sort of haze didn’t even phase me. He was always hotboxing his car or releasing his smokey breath all around the apartment or peer-pressuring me to do hits off his bong. Honestly, I was surprised either of us were even affected by this shit anymore.

The imp stood up on our red leather couch and stared at me with his beady little eyes. They were bloodshot beyond belief to the point of almost being entirely red, and it didn’t look like he could open them more than a few centimeters at a time. His mouth was hanging open as his brow furrowed upward in confusion.

“Well,” Todd giggled uncontrollably, “Slothy is right here.”

“Yo!” Tristitia exclaimed as her hand appeared from the other side of the couch.

“And Cupi’s out at the colosseum training,” he continued, “did I tell you she took a piss in our Cheerios, bro?”

“You did,” I nodded with a laugh. “What about the others?”

The imp rapped his fingers against his chin for a second, and then he just shrugged. “I think Firecracker is in the dining hall, and I have no fucking clue where Crazy Eyes or Elvira went.”

“I’m right here, Todd,” Invidia protested through a cough.

“Oh shit, that is you!” the imp gasped. “I was totally wondering how Wednesday Addams got into the house.”

“You think I’m Wednesday fucking Addams?” Invidia growled as her eyes glowed with silver Hellfire. “That little poser has ruined my image for years, and for what? They’re not even goth! Just weird.”

The raven-haired succubus continued to grumble as she headed off toward her room, and Superbia did the same.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Libidine giggled. “I’ve always wanted to get a taste of this ‘weed’ stuff Todd has talked about.”

“You’re in good luck then, hombres,” Todd snickered, took another puff, and blew it into the air. “This is some top-grade shit.”

“Where did you get this stuff, anyway?” I questioned. “I thought there wasn’t any weed here in Hell?”

“Thanks to Crazy Eyes, that’s all gonna change,” the imp continued. “Her whipping-boy half snatched a bag out of Congressman Jones’ desk while she was Earth-side. God bless Colorado, bro.”

Todd took another puff of the joint as he began to hum “America the Beautiful” and sway his joint like an orchestra conductor.

“It wasn’t that difficult,” Ira’s voice spoke up from the corner of the room. “Congressman Jones always leaves his office door unlocked, probably so all the female interns can come and go as they please.”

Todd jumped so high with surprise at Ira’s voice that he wobbled and then fell off the couch. He hit the ground with a soft “thud,” and then Tris guffawed loudly as he pulled himself back up to our eye level.

“Where did you come from?” he gasped, even though his eyes were still glazed over.

“I’ve been here the whole time, friend,” the Sister of Wrath shot back. “I’ve just been enjoying this, what did you call it, ‘doobie?’”

The imp nodded in confirmation.

“I’ve been too busy enjoying this doobie to say anything,” Ira continued. “It makes my mind feel somewhat numb and sluggish. It may just be the depressant I’m looking for to keep my submissive half in line…”

“So, it’s you?” I asked. “Like, the real Ira?”

“Whatever do you mean?” the succubus purred playfully. “My submissive and dominant halves are the ‘real’ me.”

“But you’re whole again?” I continued.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, bro,” Todd shook his head, “we don’t need to be talking about anyone’s ‘holes’ here. Save that shit for the bedroom.”

“That’s not what I--” I started, but the imp cut me off with a wave of his hand.

“It’s alright, bro,” he snickered. “I’ll give you a pass this one time. Just because I like you.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes.

“Soooooo,” Tris’ voice sprang up from the other side of the couch, “has anyone RSVPed yet? I really want to know if we’re gonna have to clean this place, or if I can just shove everything into a closet and call it a day.”

“Oh, we got an RSVP alright,” Eligor grumbled, though she was somewhat more airy than normal. “Abbadon, the King of the Seventh Circle, sent Alphamegnon into our domain.”

“Wait, wait,” Todd rubbed his forehead in confusion, “Algernon sent Manbearpig after us? I guess that means they got our message, Slothy.”

“Abbadon,” Eligor corrected.

Todd put his hands on his hips and turned his head to the side as he stared down the knight.

“Goldilocks,” he sighed, “you should know by now that I’m bad with names.”

“I’m surprised you know your own,” the blonde woman shot back sassily.

Todd matched her sass equally as he did a snap in the shape of a “z.”

“With all the kinda shit I’ve been smokin’,” he warned, “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“How do you know it was Abbadon?” Ira questioned. “I thought the demon bear was being held in the Sixth Circle? He hasn’t allied himself with our enemies, has he?”

“Because he sent a note,” I elaborated, “I don’t know if he’s allied himself with the unholy trio, but I think it’s safe to say he’s not on our side.”

“Abbadon is what we like to call a ‘sociopath’ in the political world,” Ira coughed. “A force of nature who’s going to do whatever the fuck they want with no thought or care about repercussions.”

“So, he’s just in it for the lolz,” Todd agreed. “Essentially a demonic internet troll, only with a lot more death and violence.”

“At least he’s still standing between us and Beelzebub,” Eligor reminded us. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

“That sounds like a good way to get shanked, Goldilocks,” Todd scoffed.

“I think I’m with Todd on this one,” I agreed. “We should just leave him alone and see what happens. At least he didn’t bother us until we intentionally tried to bring him into it.”

“Oh!” Tris mumbled off in the distance. “Speaking of allies, you had a phone call while you were gone. Todd said it was a Decepticon, whatever the hell that means.”

A Decepticon? That had to be the Archangel, Metatron. Or, as Todd so lovingly referred to him, “Megatron.”

“Shit, Metatron called us?” I asked the room. “What did he say?”

“Nothing too major,” Tris explained. “He just said he needed to speak with you about some stuff.”

“Some stuff?” I mused. “What kind of stuff?”

Tris made a “pffft” sound with her mouth.

“I dunno,” she continued, “like, Archangel business and shit. In all honesty, I was even more far gone than I am now when we were talking.”

“Great,” I mumbled as I headed toward the nearby hallway, “I hope it wasn’t anything too serious.”

“Maybe he was warning Slothy about an Autobot attack?” Todd snickered. “Maybe Starscream was being a little bitch and trying to overthrow him again. Or maybe, just maybe, bro … he’s letting you know that he’s been promoted to Galvatron.”

I just ignored the imp’s jokes as I walked over to the small oak door of the study and opened it gently.

“Try not to get too high in there!” I called out as I entered through the threshold.

This was one of my favorite places in the entire castle, even though I never really had the time to use it. My study was on the smaller side at approximately one-thousand square feet, but I made it my own.

Right across from the door sat a rather large desk made out of shiny, polished brimstone. A soft-lighted lamp sat atop the piece of furniture, accompanied by a few scattered pieces of paper and a book I’d been reading for the last few months. To top it all off, I had the coffee cup I’d bought on our first adventure. It still read “Rocky Mountain High” in bold red letters, and just the sight of it brought back memories of a simpler time.

Or, at least, as “simple” as it was to try and free two gorgeous succubi from their abusive pimp.

All the walls of the study had been converted into bookshelves that now housed some of the greatest literary works known to the universe. There were original works of some of the great authors like Dickens and Twain and even ancient writers like Sun Tzu and Aristotle. My heart skipped a beat, however, when I saw what was right next to those.

The Cave, written by none other than Plato.

Sure, I knew the work had been written by the actual philosopher, and not my father in disguise, but it still bothered me to see the name. Lucifer had held his charade for months as he allowed us to think he was Plato and, more importantly, that he was a close ally.

I forced myself to look away from the book as I marched over to the small “reading nook” Libidine had made for me. I plopped down in the comfy seat of brimstone, fabric, and stuffing, and then I adjusted my body until I was perfectly content.

Finally, I reached over to the large, boxy HAM radio on the nook’s side table and picked up the small square microphone that hung from its side. I twisted the knob on the chassis until it clicked, and then the radio crackled to life.

It was ridiculous we needed to communicate via amateur radio, but there wasn’t great cell phone service in Hell. Besides, the Angels were all about the old technology, so it was kinda fitting.

“Black Knight calling Shining Knight,” I announced into the mic as I pressed the button. “Do you copy, Shining Knight?”

Even though the radio was supposed to be secure, Metatron and I had agreed to use call signs at all times. The last thing we needed on top of all of the shit going on was to have our correspondences exposed to the rest of the Demonic world.

There was nothing but static on the other side of the line, but then I heard the speaker crackle to life.

“This is Shining Knight,” Metatron’s deep voice announced. “I hear you loud and clear. I tried to contact you earlier, but all I got was somebody named ‘Alita Dick.’ Is that one of your new associates?”

“No,” I explained as I tried to stifle my laugh, “that was Han Jobe.”

I rolled my eyes as the ridiculous code name came out of my mouth.

“Impossible,” he protested, “it was clearly a woman’s voice I was speaking with.”

“Then it was probably Half-baked talking while Han fed her the lines,” I noted.

Translation - Todd was telling Tris what to say.

“Oh,” the Archangel mused from the other side of the line. “How strange. Anyways, I was just calling in to give you a few updates on what is going on up here.”

“I’m assuming bad, if you’re calling me,” I sighed.

“On the contrary,” Metatron continued, “things have been going quite well up here in the last few months. Under the leadership of Silver Falcon, and his two human associates, your cult has all but won the war against the Cult of Beelzebub. They’ve completely eradicated Beelzebub’s followers in the United States, and they’ve pushed all other demonic-worshipping cultists back to the state of Kansas.”

“Holy shit,” I whistled as I leaned back in the nook. “So, does that mean I control the entire state?”

Raphael had outdone himself this time.

“Even better, Black Knight,” the Archangel announced happily. “Your cult is the only one currently in the southwest. The entire territory is yours.”

I let out an audible gasp when I heard the news. I knew I could trust Raph to oversee things while I was gone, but damn. The entire southwest? If they kept things up at this rate, I would be in control of the entire continental United States in no time.

“That’s amazing,” I giggled like an idiot. “Tell Silver Falcon he’s a fucking miracle worker.”

“I regret to inform you I haven’t heard much from Silver Falcon,” Metatron sighed. “Since you left, he’s been spending most of his time in one of your bases. The Velvet Lips, I believe?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the prospect of Raphael in a strip club.

“Uh, that’s definitely one of ours,” I said as I tried to control my amusement. “That’s the one Weeaboo Wetdream used to work out of.”

Todd had chosen Sia’s codename and, much to my dismay, she loved it.

“Ah,” Metatron mused. “Then I can see why he feels it’s productive. I have heard he’s taken quite the liking to one of your generals, the one called Meghan.

Oh dear. Meghan, or “Meghan Miracle” if you only knew her from her shows, was one of the strippers who worked in our gentlemen’s club. She was fucking gorgeous, with pert breasts, platinum blonde hair, and a smile that could melt even the most icy of hearts.

Good for Raph. It was about time he loosened up a little and enjoyed himself. Especially if he was being as productive as Metatron claimed he was.

“Meghan’s the best,” I lied. “Silver Falcon and her are going to have a good time.”

“Let’s hope so,” the Archangel agreed. “How are things going on your end? Has anything of note happened since we last spoke?”

I let out an audible “ha” before I started to talk.

“Shining Knight,” I warned, “you have no fucking idea. First and foremost, I found out who my father is.”

“Do tell,” Metatron pleaded like a sixteen-year-old waiting to hear the newest gossip. “Not even the Exalted One is aware of that.”

“It’s a doozy,”I admitted with a sigh. “My father is … well, Lucifer.”

There was radio silence on the other side of the line, but I wasn’t sure if it was the Archangel’s shock, or if I had just lost the signal.

“A-Are you sure?” Metatron demanded after a long moment. “That sounds like something Lucifer would make up to get inside your head. You are a threat to him, you know.”

“He sounded pretty serious,” I explained. “He’d been disguising himself as Plato and helping us out on all of our journeys down here. Honestly, I wish he was just fucking with me, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

Silence once more.

“That’s very troubling,” Metatron sighed. “I can assure you, we did not know this part of the equation. However, I will have to report it back to my superiors, and then they will decide what to do next.”

“What do you mean ‘what to do next?’” I growled. “Don’t tell me they’re gonna turn on me just because of my parentage.”

“I don’t think that will be the case,” he continued calmly, though I could tell there was a twinge of nervousness in his voice. “I’m just letting you know this will come as a shock to all who hear it.”

“Tell me about it,” I agreed. “It was a pretty fucking big shock for me, too. But you don’t need to worry about me. I’ve already got a plan on how to take that fucker down.”

“Lucifer?” Metatron gasped. “You--You want to take down Lucifer?”

“Isn’t that the end goal of all this?” I shot back. “This never-ending battle between Heaven and Hell? Doesn’t the whole chess game end when one of the kings is taken?”

“I suppose,” he conceded, “but … that’s quite a large task, Black Knight. The Exalted One himself hasn’t even been able to do that, and he’s been trying for many millennia.”

“That’s where my heritage is helpful,” I explained. “I’m currently trying to make friends with some of the other Demon Kings down here in Hell. Then, once I consolidate power, I can try to convince them to overthrow Lucifer. If I do that, then--”

“Have you told anyone else about this plan?” Metatron interrupted.

“Uh, just my succubi, Han Jobe, and my lead general,” I answered.

“Good,” the Archangel sighed. “Please listen to me. You cannot tell any of the Demon Kings what you are intending to do. In fact, you probably shouldn’t even trust your own Demon Lords with that information. If it were to get out that you were trying to overthrow the King of Hell … let’s just say, it wouldn’t end well for you. Demons are backstabbing creatures, Black Knight. Trust no one.”

“That’s a great way to look at life,” I joked, but the Archangel didn’t seem to see it as a laughing matter.

“I’m serious,” he warned. “We cannot help you while you’re in Hell, and if Lucifer is coming after you on Earth, our hands are tied. Azazel may have broken our peace treaty when he entered the church all those years ago, but we operate by a strict set of wartime rules. No angel, Archangel, or Demon would be crazy enough to try and face Lucifer head-on. That would escalate things to apocalyptic levels of bad.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to be more subtle,” I retorted, “and I’ll have to strike while the element of surprise is still on my side.”

“I don’t think you understand the severity of what you’re saying,” the Archangel sighed sadly. “If you try to go after Lucifer, you will die. Whether it’s by his hand or the hand of one of his minions or by the hand of one of your own allies is all that remains to be seen.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I agreed. “But look, even if I decide not to go after Lucifer, I’m still going to need Demon Kings on my side. Beelzebub’s forces are ready to invade, and the only thing that’s stopping them is the fact that they have to go through the Seventh Circle to get here.”

“Abbadon,” Metatron sneered. “The most ruthless of the Demon Kings and the most sadistic, twisted monster of a man next to Lucifer himself.”

“Yep, that’s the one,” I noted. “He even sent a demon bear to try and kill us.”

“That sounds like him,” the Archangel sighed. “Please tell me you’re not trying to ally yourself with the King of the Seventh Circle.”

“I’m not,” I only half-lied. “He’s too crazy, even for me.”

“Good,” Metatron continued. “Abbadon is not good news. I must be going now, my friend. But, before I go, I want to leave you with one final warning. Beware your allies, even the ones you hold closest to your heart. In the end, a demon will always put himself first. They’ll stab your back the second they see it as an opportunity. Don’t let that happen.”

“I won’t,” I promised. “I don’t trust these fuckers as far as I can throw them. And, judging by the size of some of these dudes, that’s not very far in the first place.”

“Agreed,” Metatron said somberly. “Farewell for now, my friend. I look forward to our next conversation. Shining Knight, over and out.”

“Black Knight, over and out,” I repeated and then placed the mic back onto the radio.

The words of the Archangel echoed in my brain as I rubbed my hands through my hair. Surely my own followers wouldn’t betray me, would they? I’d saved them from a life of eternal torture and given them more leeway than any other King gave his Demon Lords.

Maybe Metatron was just being paranoid?

He was right about one thing, however. Even if I was able to get Mammon on my side, I shouldn’t trust him. Or Asmodeus. Or any of the other Demon Kings. They would turn on me the second they thought I was weak enough to bring down, and they wouldn’t hesitate for a second.

Now, I had two of these backstabbers coming into my domain in a matter of hours. If I wanted to keep them on my side, I needed to show them just how powerful my friends and I really were.

And that was exactly what I was gonna do.

Chapter 6

“Alright, you know the drill!” Cupiditas announced to the small-yet loyal army of Shades that stood before us. “I want you to find a sparring partner and then test out the new armory Ariel has so graciously given us. Remember, you’re all Shades. Use your full force.”

“Yeah,” Todd added as he threw his voice to sound deeper, “just like those old Timex watches, you can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. Or, was that the slogan of the Red Light District in Amsterdam? I always get the two confused … ”

Cupi rolled her eyes at the imp’s antics, and then she raised her left hand straight up over her head and slowly made a fist.

The Shades responded with a “haroo!” before they dispersed to find their sparring partners.

Each one of them was now adorned with the armor Ariel had shown me back in her workshop, and they all wielded some sort of hand-made weapon that had Divine Light coursing through its form.

The redheaded angel herself was standing up on the grandstand at the front of the coliseum, along with all seven of the succubi, Todd, Eligor, and myself. Daniel was down amongst his peers, as he claimed it was “what a good leader would do.”

“I see you have them trained very well, Cupiditas,” Eligor mused. “I’m impressed.”

“Maybe you should stop by the coliseum more often,” Cupi shot back somewhat snarkily, “you could see Jacob’s army in action, and maybe I could even give you a few pointers on combat.”

Eligor couldn’t hide her bemusement as she placed her hands on her hips and snorted.

“I am a great knight of Hell, Cupiditas,” she scoffed. “I know every possible battle strategy and fighting style ever created. Why do you think Jacob takes me on so many missions with him?”

“Uh, Jakey?” Todd whispered into my ear. “I can totally see where this is headed, bro. And it ain’t pretty.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I hissed back at the imp. “Eligor and Cupi have really similar personalities. Naturally, they’re going to butt heads every once and awhile.”

“I know it, bro,” Todd continued, “it’s almost like their creator wanted them to be so similar because they knew it’d be a popular archetype. Almost like an Aquaman-Namor situation.”

“Orrrr,” I suggested, “it’s just that they’re both fallen angels who have been forged in the fires of Hell and are experts in hand-to-hand combat.”

“But Eligor has two swords, and Cupi has a polearm,” the imp added with a wink. “Totally different.”

“I have an idea!” Libidine exclaimed excitedly as she pointed to both the blonde women. “Why don’t you two be sparring partners?”

Cupi and Eligor looked at the Sister of Lust for a second with expressions of pure confusion, and then they both grinned and stared each other down eagerly with fire in their eyes.

“I’m game,” Cupiditas mused. “I’ve always wanted to do battle with a worthy adversary.”

“Perhaps that’s why Jacob invites me on more missions,” Eligor suggested, “we face plenty of worthy adversaries out in the field.”

I felt my entire body cringe at the knight’s words, and then I turned beet red as Cupiditas slowly turned to stare me down.

“That’s uh--” I giggled awkwardly. “That’s not the case at all. You’re all equal members of the team in my eyes. It’s just that I need different skill sets for different missions, and Cupi has been tasked with training the army.”

“Well,” Cupi grumbled, “I suppose a sparring match is in order, then. We can see whose talents are more needed.”

“Guys,” I interjected, “you don’t have to--”

Before I could even finish, Eligor spread her dark angel wings, pushed them down against the ground, and then launched herself into the sky.

Cupi went right after the knight and lifted into the air by flexing her feathery wings with pure determination in her eyes. The Sister of Greed chased the Knight of Hell out of the coliseum and out of our sightline.

“Damn,” Todd sighed. “I really wanted to see how that catfight was gonna play out.”

“You could not have, anyway.” Superbia nodded as she stepped forward. “We are all going to spar, as well.”

“Oh! Oh!” Gula said excitedly as she bounded up and down. “Can I fight with Liby?”

“Hell yes you can, girl!” Libidine giggled with mirrored enthusiasm. “Get over here and pick out a weapon.”

“W-Wait … ” Tris tried to protest, but the other two succubi were already walking away arm-in-arm. “Gula’s always my partner … ”

“Buck up, Slothy,” Todd reassured her as he slapped her arm happily. “You can always take a crack at Elvira over there. Although, I must warn you, I heard she hangs around with Voldermort all the time and killed Sirius Black, so she’s probably not somebody you should fuck with.”

“I don’t wanna fight Vidia,” Tris groaned, “she’s way too strong.”

“Then you shall spar with me,” Superbia announced. “I assure you that I’m not as strong or talented at hand-to-hand combat as the rest of your sisters, Tristitia.”

“Fiiiiine,” the brunette succubus sighed and walked over to her madame. “But don’t expect me to try hard.”

“I never would,” Sia mused as she patted her sister on the shoulder.

“I guess that means Elvira’s coming after you, Jakey,” Todd observed. “Welp, now that I see we’ve got all even teams, I guess it’s time for the Toddster to head out. I’ve got a lotta sleep I gotta catch up on, and--”

“You’re going to pair off with Ariel,” I interrupted. “She still needs a partner.”

“And me!” Ira said with glee. “We’ll have a three-way battle. Or maybe a four-way. I’d be happy either way.”

“Ah,” the imp said as he hung his head in disappointment, “I was totally gonna catch up on my Zs, bro.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to do that,” I reassured the imp, “after we convince the other Demon Kings to join us. Until then, we barely have any time to breathe, let alone sleep.”

“Come on, Todd!” Ariel giggled, and then she ran over, hopped up into the air, and landed in front of us with her hands up in a fighting stance. “I’ve been doing a ton of Tae Bo lately, and I can’t wait to try out some of my moves.”

“No living creature should have that much energy,” Todd muttered as he dragged his feet beside the angel.

Ariel let out a squeal of glee as she ran over to the armory box with Ira close behind her, but the third partner couldn’t match her enthusiasm. Todd let out an over-exaggerated yawn, and then he patted his potbelly lazily and sauntered over to join the redhead.

“I don’t need a weapon,” Invidia announced. “My dagger will speak for itself.”

“Oh, come on,” I prodded, “Ariel made us a fuckton of cool new toys. Don’t you want to play with any of them?”

“I’m good,” Invidia grumbled as she pushed her black bangs out of her eyes. “Toys are lame, anyways.”

“Suit yourself.” I shrugged and then pointed to an open spot in the dirt. “We can fight there. Just give me a few minutes.”

“Take your time,” the gothic succubus conceded sarcastically as she walked away. “Like, seriously, take all the time in the world. I would absolutely hate to keep putting off this thing … ”

I walked over to where the rest of my team was standing around the box of weapons and armor that Ariel had provided.

As I approached, the redheaded angel gave me a tender smile, and then she walked to the front of the stage. She cleared her throat meekly at first, but none of the Shades seemed to hear her. Ariel furrowed her brow, cleared her throat a bit louder, and then placed her hands against her mouth.

“Everyone!” she announced, and a hush fell over the crowd. “That’s better. Before we begin, I wanted to let you guys know all about the cool new stuff you’ve got. So, first off, each and every one of you has a primary weapon and a new suit of armor. Anybody know what’s so special about them?”

“They’re a bit sturdier than the ones we had before,” one of the Shades responded. “Those things were made outta pots and pans.”

“That’s one difference,” Ariel nodded, “but there’s something better. Much, much better.”

“There’s goat heads on the hilt?” another Shade suggested, and the crowd roared with laughter.

After a minute or two of guffawing, the Shade army fell silent once more.

“Would everyone please raise their weapons?” Ariel continued. “Even my friends up here.”

I summoned silver Hellfire into my hand, reformed my warhammer, and lifted it into the sky.

The rest of the succubi did the same, from Tris’ pistols to Gula’s axe to even Ira’s whip. Soon, everyone had their most prized weapon held up in unison.

Ariel closed her eyes, summoned Divine Light into both her hands, and then clapped them together harshly. As she did so, the intensity of the light increased tenfold, and the ball of magical energy quadrupled in size. Then the angel lifted her spell-casting hands above her head, took a deep breath, and pulled them apart.

The second she made her move, tendrils of Divine Light shot off in a million different directions. The beams struck each and every weapon in the coliseum and engulfed them with its warm embrace. Ariel’s spell seemed to affect the Shades’ armor, as well, and caused them to light up like the piece she’d shown me in her workshop.

Finally, Ariel popped her eyes open and grinned.

“How’s that for an upgrade?” she mused, and the Shades greeted her with cheers.

Ariel did a little bow, but then she turned around and headed back to the armory box.

“So, now we’re all carrying Heavenly glowsticks,” Todd snickered. “You really think that’s gonna give us the edge over, uh, anyone?”

“Of course it will,” I explained. “Divine Light isn’t anything to fuck with.”

“No, bro,” the imp shot back, “that’d be Wu Tang. But, if my bestest friend thinks they’re gonna help, then I believe they’re gonna help. Now, come on, guys. Let’s go beat the shit outta each other!”

“You don’t want a weapon?” Ira questioned with a raised eyebrow. “There are plenty in the box.”

“Crazy Eyes,” he laughed, “my body is the fucking weapon.”

Todd began to make all sorts of exaggerated kung fu poses as his eyes bulged out of his head. Then he gritted his teeth and whistled the tune of Kung Fu Fighting.

“How can we say no to that?” Ariel giggled to the Sister of Wrath. “Before we begin, I’ve still got something to give Jacob.”

“Hopefully, it’s as good as what you gave me in your workshop,” I teased as I raised my eyebrows at the angel.

Ariel’s freckled face went red, but then she quickly snapped back to her normal, peppy self.

“Even better!” she announced before she bent down and fumbled through the weapons.

“The next time you hit that, please invite me,” Ira whispered into my ear. “She seems like she’d be an animal in bed.”

“She is,” I admitted, “although, we didn’t even use a bed.”

Ira slapped me on the arm roughly and smiled ear-to-ear.

“You naughty boy,” she purred. “I might have to punish both of you later.”

I liked the sound of that.

First, Ariel came up with a crossbow. The angel gave it a look of displeasure before she tossed it away.

“Whoa there, angel babe,” Tris warned as she grabbed the redhead’s wrist. “What is this bad boy?”

“Oh, it’s not much,” Ariel shrugged, “just a crossbow that shoots bolts of Divine Light. It’s pretty straightforward, other than the fact that it never has to be reloaded or--”

“Say no more,” the Sister of Sloth said with a nod. “I call dibs.”

Ariel looked totally confused, but she still handed Tris the crossbow.

“Uh, okay … ” she observed, “I’m glad you like it, but that wasn’t what I was looking for at all.”

The redhead let out a huff of annoyance, and then she dove back into the box head-first. Ariel fumbled around for a second or two, until she finally let out an ‘a-ha!’ of victory. Then she straightened her back, clasped the weapon in her hands tightly, and walked over to me.

As Ariel extended the small dagger for me to take, I recognized it immediately.

It was my goat-headed dagger.

More importantly, it had been fully repaired. My dagger had been shattered only a few missions into my tenure as a Succubus Lord, and I’d never had the time nor the talent to fix it since. So, it remained as a broken, shank-like blade.

But not anymore.

Now, the goat head on the hilt was carved into a much more intricate pattern. Meanwhile, the blade itself had been rejuvenated back to its original glory and looked as if it were forged with pure black metal.

“I figured you’d want this,” Ariel mused. “You’ve been carrying around a broken blade since I met you, and it’s always bothered the Hell out of me.”

I took the small dagger from the redhead’s hands, inspected it closely, and then pushed it into the empty hilt on my belt.

“You’re a lifesaver, Ariel.” I winked.

“I love, love, love how you took that aesthetic and used it throughout Jacob’s whole army,” Libidine added as she weighed a pair of enchanted brass knuckles in her hand. “Very cohesive.”

“Well, we don’t have any sort of official sigil, and I wanted to make us look like a real, united army.” The angel shrugged.

“That’s all on Jakey,” Todd explained. “I had one made for us, even paid a professional graphic designer and everything, but he didn’t like it.”

“That’s because it was an image of a bloody demon holding his erect dick like it was a firehose and pissing fire,” I reminded him.

“Brroooooo,” Todd sighed, “it was metal as fuck. It woulda been perfect!”

“I think I’ll stick with the goat head for now,” I shook my head, “it’s a little more subtle. Besides, Ariel already made all the weapons … ”

“You’re no fun,” Todd joked and crossed his tiny arms.

“Shall we?” Superbia asked as she weighed a glowing white flail in her hand.

“You’re going to use a weapon?” Tris grumbled. “I was just gonna stand back and shoot at you with the crossbow.”

“I wanted to try something different.” The madame shrugged. “I’m always the support during our fights, but I’d like to get in on the action, too. Now, come along, Tristitia.”

Sia motioned for the brunette succubus to follow, and then the two of them walked off the stage and over to a little open spot of sand.

Gula and Libidine were all smiles as they skipped down the ramp, and then Ira, Todd, and Ariel sauntered down after them.

I turned around to see Invidia was now standing at the far side of the coliseum.

The gothic succubus was leaning back against the wall of the structure, with her arms crossed over her massive cleavage and her right foot lifted back seductively against the pillar. She looked bored out of her mind.

I was about to change that.

“Check this out, Vidia,” I announced as I walked over to her position. “I got a knife, too. Now, we can truly be equal sparring partners.”

The dark-haired woman rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh. She started to move forward from the pillar, but then we were cut off by a far-off, whistling sound that came from behind me.

I spun around with my hand on my sword hilt just as the body of Eligor smashed into the ground.

She landed hard, and rough, gritty sand erupted into the air as she tumbled across the landscape.

Cupiditas floated down behind her as she brushed her hands together coyly.

“I guess that settles it,” my second succubus chuckled.

Eligor slowly pulled herself up to her feet with a few labored breaths and then took a fighting stance.

“Like hell it does,” the blonde knight shot back.

Cupi smirked confidently as she stuck out her hand and summoned forth her polearm with a flash of red Hellfire.

“Well?” the Sister of Greed taunted. “I’m waiting.”

Without saying another word, Eligor drew her dual swords from her belt and charged at the succubus. She brought the left one down on Cupi, but it was quickly knocked away with the dull end of the polearm. At the same time, Eligor jabbed at the succubus’ stomach with the sword in her right hand.

Without missing a beat, Cupi sidestepped the attack, twirled her polearm in her hand, and sent Eligor’s left sword hurtling through the sky.

It landed in the sand with a soft plunk, and the knight growled as she held a tighter grip on her remaining weapon.

She went to strike Cupi from the side, but Cupi was too fast.

The blonde succubus slammed the blunt end of her polearm into the ground and then pushed herself off the ground. Eligor’s blade swished underneath her as she spun around feet-first and struck the knight in the face.

Eligor let out a grunt of frustration as she stumbled backward from the blow. She wiped the sweat from her face as she repositioned her sword at the ready, and then she waited for her opponent to make her move.

Cupi landed on the sand seductively, ripped the polearm out of the gritty ground, and then spun it around so the pointy end was behind her back.

The two warriors stared each other down for what felt like an eternity, until Eligor finally made the first move.

The blonde knight lunged forward and forced Cupi to take a swing. Eligor ducked underneath the incoming polearm as if she were playing limbo and then came up swinging.

The tip of her blade shot toward Cupi’s face, but the blonde succubus quickly threw up her hand and blasted it with blue Hellfire. The entire sword stopped in motion and froze in place.

But Eligor wasn’t playing games.

She quickly ducked down, threw her hands into the dirt, extended her leg, and then spun around and took out Cupi’s legs.

The succubus let out a gasp of surprise as she fell down onto her ass, and then Eligor was on her.

Or, at least, she tried to be on her.

As the blonde knight leapt forward to pin her opponent to the ground, Cupi threw up her knee. Then she grabbed Eligor’s hands and used the knight’s momentum to send her tumbling across the floor of the coliseum.

The entire training facility had now stopped what they were doing to watch the epic struggle between the evenly-matched fighters, and it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Cupi took off into a full sprint just as Eligor flipped into an upright position and unleashed a blast of red Hellfire the size of a basketball. The succubus slammed her polearm into the ground, used it to pole vault over the incoming attack, and then landed right on her opponent. She held out her weapon horizontally and pinned Eligor to the ground with a final heave.

“Say it.” The succubus grinned as she leaned her face in closer and smiled.

“No,” Eligor shot back. “Not in a million years.”

“I won’t let you up until you say it,” Cupi giggled.

“No!” the knight hissed and tried to break out of her attacker’s grip, but it was of no use.

“I don’t have anywhere to be for awhile … ” Cupi cackled.

Eligor tried to break free of the attack once more, but then she gave up. The knight let out a deep sigh before she spoke.

“Cupiditas is the best blonde warrior on the team,” she grumbled weakly.

“What was that?” the succubus mocked.

“I said, Cupiditas is the best blonde warrior on the team,” Eligor repeated, this time loud enough for everyone to hear.

Cupi stood up and released her grapple on the knight. Then she strutted away from the scene of the battle proudly and gave a little wave to all the Shades who’d been watching.

“Don’t get too cocky,” Eligor grumbled as she stood up and brushed sand off her scantily-clad body. “The only reason you won was because you used a coward’s weapon. Seriously, it’s called ‘hand to hand’ combat, yet your weapon kept me a few feet away at all times.”

“It’s not cowardly,” Cupi said with a push of air out of her lips, “what’s that phrase Todd always uses? ‘Work smarter, not harder?’”

“Best two out of three?” Eligor pleaded as she grabbed her sword from the sand.

“Nah,” Cupi scoffed. “It’s already been disputed. Jacob’s power flows through each and every succubus he’s connected with. That’s why he will be the King of every Circle in the end.”

“He’s ‘connected’ with me too, you know,” Eligor reminded her. “What happened there was just a fluke. I would beat you nine out of ten times.”

“But all it takes is that one time.” Cupi shrugged. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, we have armor to test out.”

Eligor rolled her eyes and then followed the succubus over to where the Shades were sparring. Now that the main event was over, each one of them continued their training, all while the two blonde warriors watched.

“That was pretty fucking intense,” I whistled as I turned back around. “Who did you have your money on, Vidia?”

The succubus was sitting on the ground with earbuds in her ears as she doodled in a leather-bound book.

I walked over to the dark-haired beauty, looked over her shoulder at her drawings, and admired her work.

The entire journal was adorned with pictures of broken hearts, sketches of Frank the Bunny from Donny Darko, and the lyrics to sad songs.

“You, uh, okay there, Vidia?” I asked curiously, but the only response I got was the muffled rock music of whatever screamo band she was listening to.

I tapped her on the shoulder, and she sprung to attention.

“What’s up?” she sighed as she pulled an earbud out of her ear. “Did you need something?”

“We were gonna spar … ” I reminded the gothic succubus. “Remember? Dagger versus dagger?”

“Well, yeah,” she agreed, “that was before you got distracted by Sister Cupi’s preppy-girl catfight. Now, I’m too deep in my darkness to focus on anything but these depressing lyrics.”

“Aren’t you listening to screamo?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Duh,” Invidia snickered with a half-smile. “What could be deeper than that?”

“You know what,” I chuckled and raised my hands in defeat, “I’m not even gonna touch that one. I think I’ll go see how the Shades are doing.”

“Jacob, wait,” Vidia sighed as I turned to walk away. “Of course I want to spar with you. It’s just… There are a lot of people around right now. You know how I get when I’m around, well, people. It’s like, totally not my scene. I wish we could have more alone time.”

I turned back to Invidia, placed my hands on both of her shoulders, and then looked her deep in the eyes as I rubbed them tenderly.

“I know it’s not,” I reassured her. “If you’re really uncomfortable, I won’t make you spar. Go ahead, lose yourself into the smooth jams of Taking Back Sunday. We can hang out alone together later.”

“You’re the best. Thanks for understanding. I’ll make it up to you later… when we are alone.” The gothic succubus gave me a shy smile, bit her lip as her eyes roamed my body, and then she placed her earbud back into her ear and returned her eyes to her journal.

I sheathed my goat-headed dagger and then headed over to where my army was training. As I walked, I passed by the rest of my generals while they fought.

Todd was singing Believe it or Not by Mike Post as he nimbly dodged attack after attack from Ira and Ariel. Every now and again, the angel and the succubus would turn away from the pesky imp and take a few swings at each other.

Libidine and Gula seemed to be getting a little too into the training session. The succubi were giggling as they tumbled around on the ground with their chests pushing firmly against each other and their legs interlocked.

“Easy there, guys,” I chuckled. “Don’t give these poor Shades a heart attack.”

“You can join us, if you’d like,” Libidine purred.

“As much as I’d love that,” I sighed, “duty calls.”

As I continued on and walked past the final pairing, I saw Superbia was having a much harder time than the succubi she managed.

“Come now, Tristitia,” she bemoaned. “You need to actually try to hit me.”

“Naaaaaah,” Tris yawned as she nonchalantly aimed her crossbow at the madame. “I’ve proven I can handle my shit in battle a million times over. Cheech and Chong do all the work, anyways.”

“Yes, you are quite good,” Sia groaned and rubbed her temples in frustration, “but if you practice, you can be even better.”

Tris unloaded the crossbolt of Divine Light in the general direction of Superbia, but missed her by a mile.

“There,” she announced with a shrug, “I practiced.”

Sia was trying to keep her cool, but I’d been around her long enough to know when she was about to blow up. Her bottom lip was firmly tucked underneath her top row of teeth, and her arms were folded across her chest as tightly as a coiled rattlesnake.

I guess I should probably help her out.

“Hey Tris,” I announced as I got closer, “tell ya what. If you put forth some effort into this training session, I’ll give you the castle’s green room.”

The brunette succubus’ eyes went wide as my words sunk in, and she turned her purple irises on me with excitement.

“T-The green room?” she gasped.

“Yup,” I confirmed, “the only room in the whole castle that can be used for growing plants. Now that we can move between worlds, I don’t really need it for growing food any more.”

“So, you’re saying Todd and I can use it?” She grinned.

“You two can use it for whatever your little hearts desire.” I nodded.

Tris stood up straight and pumped her fist up in the air.

“Fucking score!” she laughed happily, and then she turned the crossbow back on Sia. “Let’s dance, bitch.”

“That’s quite a rude thing to say to--” Sia began, but a bolt of Divine Light blasted at her before she could get the words out.

The madame rolled out of the way of the attack and came up with her own blast of black Hellfire.

That was more like it.

I finally made it over to Daniel, who was standing at the center of a large circle of Shades.

“There he is!” he exclaimed when he saw me approaching. “I was just showing your loyal subjects how to attack as a large group.”

“Isn’t it fairly obvious?” I questioned aloud.

The blond man shook his head and clicked his tongue.

“Oh no, King Ralston,” he explained. “For some reason, many soldiers seem to think one versus many is freaking turn-based combat. They attack the lone warrior one at a time, and he usually kicks their asses. That’s why we’re practicing this. Now, attack!”

The second the words left his mouth, the entire circle of Shades charged forward at Daniel. My general was able to avoid two of three blows and take out one of the attackers, but then he was skewered by a mixture of swords, knives, maces, and spears. The Shades pulled away, and Daniel’s porous body collapsed to the ground.

“See?” he laughed as he coughed up blood. “Works every damn time.”

“Can I get a medic over here?” I called out, amused at the Shade’s actions.

Daniel and the rest of my men were Shades, the Hell-bound souls of the dead. They couldn’t be killed, but they could still definitely be mangled.

Sia dashed over to our position with her hand aglow in golden Hellfire. She placed her enchanted palm against Daniel’s shoulder, and the healing touch spread across his entire body.

Within seconds, the Shade was back on his feet as if nothing had happened.

“Thanks, Sia,” he said as he shook the madame’s hand. “You’re quite literally a lifesaver.”

“Don’t mention it,” the petite redhead nodded, “just let me know when I am needed again.”

Sia walked away, and then Daniel immediately turned to me.

“I did want to talk to you about something, my king,” he announced.

“Daniel,” I reminded him with a wave of my hand, “you don’t have to do all that ‘my liege’ crap with me. That’s reserved for the Demon Lords and the Demon Lords alone.”

“Right,” Daniel said with a slight bow. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about our armor.”

“It’s fucking awesome, isn’t it?” I asked with a grin. “Ariel did an excellent job.”

“Well, that’s the thing … ” Daniel trailed off. “It is awesome. It protects us against piercing and slashing damage quite well, but we found one fatal flaw. Quite literally. Hans? You wanna come over here for a second?”

A large Shade with sharp features and bulky muscles sauntered over and stood at the ready in front of us. His massive frame was covered with the enchanted armor, and he reminded me of a fucking golem.

“Alright, I’ll bite,” I said. “What’s the problem? This dude looks like a walking tank.”

“That’s precisely what he is,” my general agreed, “but watch this.”

Daniel let out a whistle, and then another Shade came over with an oversized warhammer. He hauled it back, brought it forward with a heave, and smashed it straight into the tank’s chest.

There was a loud crash of metal on metal mixed with the sound of snapping bones, and then the Shade doubled over in pain. He let out a roar of agony as he began to vomit blood onto the sand and clutched at his torso.

“Uh, Sia?” I called out again, and the succubus madame dashed over once more.

She quickly healed the Shade before she headed back to Tris.

“Do you see?” Daniel sighed. “What good is armor if it can’t protect you from blunt force trauma?”

“Well,” I chuckled, “three outta four isn’t bad. Even with its flaws, it’s still better than what we were using before.”

“Of course,” the Shade nodded. “But I believe I have an idea on how to make it even more impenetrable.”

“I’m all ears,” I shot back.

“Well, I was just thinking about the armor that you use,” he continued, “you know, the one made of purple Hellfire?”

“Okayyyyy?” I nodded as I tried to follow.

“Do you think you could transfer that power to your soldiers?” Daniel asked. “With the mixture of the Divine Light and the purple Hellfire, we would be quite literally invincible.”

“That’s … I don’t know,” I admitted. “My protective magic usually has to have my full concentration, or else it won’t hold. I don’t know if I have the power to focus on hundreds of Shades at once...”

“What makes you think your purple fire has to be consciously directed?” the general pondered aloud. “Whenever you enchant your blade with red flames, it stays there for the duration of the battle. Why couldn’t you do the same with your purple flame?”

I thought about it for a moment. The Shade had a point. If I could unconsciously control my red Hellfire on my weapons and the purple Hellfire on my body, why couldn’t I up the ante and create a whole army of Hellfire-clad warriors?

“I-I don’t know, honestly,” I said after a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever tried.”

“Look, King Ralston,” Daniel continued, “I’m not exactly sure how Hellfire magic works, but I remember it’s based on your emotions. Why don’t you try and amplify whatever emotion goes along with purple flames and then go from there?”

The Shade was right.

Purple Hellfire was the very first spell I learned, and to call it second nature at this point was a massive understatement. It was such a non-thought that I could probably conjure up violet flames if I sneezed the wrong way.

Maybe if I tried to hone in on my emotions, I could make it even stronger.

“Let me give it a shot,” I agreed. “Purple fire is created by the need to protect what you hold most dear.”

“That should be easy, then,” Daniel mused, “just think about what you’ve got to lose if we get our asses kicked by Beelzebub.”

“That part sounds easy.” I closed my eyes and then pictured Beelzebub and his allies. I pictured them storming into my domain, defeating my Shades, and subjecting them to the most horrific forms of torture known to man.

I could feel the violet fire burst forth from my body as it engulfed me in its warm embrace, but I needed it to be stronger.

My heart sank into my stomach as I forced my mind to think about all of my friends, dead. I saw Todd and Ariel’s heads on a spike while the King of the Eighth Circle led my succubi in chains toward whatever twisted fate he had in mind for them. I saw my parents with their bowels torn out of their stomachs and their tongues ripped from their mouths.

I pictured everybody I loved dead, and it shook me to my very core.

“Holy shit … ” Danel gasped.

I opened up my eyes and saw the purple flame surrounding my body had to be at least ten feet tall and equally as wide. I let out a scream of frustration as I threw out my hands in the direction of the Shades and blasted forth my spell as powerfully as I could.

A literal wave of purple washed over my entire army like a storm surge. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared.

What was left was an entire army whose armor shimmered with purple flames, outlined softly by Divine Light.

It fucking worked.

“Way to go, King Ralston!” Daniel exclaimed, and then he turned to the rest of the army. “All hail Jacob Ralston! Haroo!”

My army held their fists up in the air and repeated their leader’s enthusiasm with a “haroo” of their own.

“Damn, bro,” Todd whistled as he floated over under the power of his black fear magic. “Did you just spirit bomb your army into getting an upgrade?”

“I must admit,” Ariel added as she stepped up beside me, “I’m impressed. I didn’t think anybody could improve on my design, but you somehow found a way.”

“Just don’t make me wear it,” Ira pleaded. “It looks nearly impenetrable, but I want to be penetrated.”

“You know,” Todd sighed, “I’d normally make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke there, but I think ‘ol Crazy Eyes has become immune at this point. It’s like she’s built up a tolerance, bro.”

“It’s still worth a shot,” Ira suggested. “I’m always open for a good ribbing.”

“That’s what she--you know what?” Todd sighed and hung his head. “Nope. Nooooope. The Toddster has evolved, too. My humor has become way more clever than that shit. There’s no need to go after the low hanging fruit.”

“Wow,” Ariel chuckled, “that’s very mature of you.”

“You know what else is mature?” Todd snickered. “Dudes who have a pair of low-hanging fruit, if ya know what I mean.”

The redhead rolled her eyes, facepalmed, and then shook her head.

“I want to see just how much damage this new armor can handle,” Daniel interjected.

He held up his hand and whistled once more.

The Shade with the hammer readied his weapon once more and then slugged Hans in the chest. This time, the hammer bounced off its target as if it were made of rubber and fell to the sand.

“Incredible,” Ariel mused.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Daniel fist-pumped. “Now, Hans really is a fucking tank.”

“How much more can he take?” Todd suggested. “You wanna do the honors, Crazy Eyes?”

“Fuuuuck yes,” she moaned. “I’ll hit this big boy with everything I have in my toybox, and then some. Let’s start out with something simple and work our way up to the fun stuff, shall we?”

The succubus walked up to the Shade, summoned red Hellfire into her hands, and then blasted him at point-blank range.

Hans’ body flew backward and caused the sea of Shades to part in a hurry. His massive frame landed with a dull thud on the sandy ground, and then he stood back up.

Both he and his armor were perfectly fine.

“Alright, it withstands the Hellfire test,” Todd said. “But the real question is will it blend?”

There was silence as every one of us turned and looked at the imp with confusion.

“Huh?” Ariel finally prompted.

Todd was giggling like crazy, but then he stopped when he realized nobody got his joke.

“Are you serious?” he gasped. “That was, like, a huge thing back in the early days of Youtube. It’s where the dude put shit in the blender and then … fuck it, the joke is dead. Just let it die and move on!”

“Seriously, though,” Ariel pondered aloud, “how else can we test this armor?”

Ira rapped on her chin for a moment, and then the lightbulb seemed to pop on in her head.

“We can beat the fuck out of him!” she nearly moaned. “Everybody grab a weapon and go to town.”

Daniel nodded to the army, and they all bum-rushed Hans at once. Every one of the Shades began to wail on him with their weapons as hard as they could. At the same time, Ira thrashed him with her giant morning star, and Ariel slashed at the Shade with her claws of Divine Light.

Still, nothing happened.

Finally, everyone backed off.

“There’s still one more thing I want to test,” Ira announced. “One of my personal favorite things to do as a Dominatrix. Crushing.”

“I’m on it,” I said with a nod.

I summoned green Hellfire into my hands, took aim at one of the nearby pillars of brimstone, and engulfed it with emerald fire. Next, I spread the fire to the two pillars closest to my original target and then pulled them all loose from their installation.

“I hope those aren’t load bearing, bro,” Todd warned as I moved them over so they were above Hans.

I commanded the jade-encrusted pillars to come together and form a makeshift wall. Then I heaved my arms downward and brought six-hundred pounds of brimstone down directly on the Shade’s head.

Dirt and sand sprayed into the air in all directions as the pillars smashed into the ground and crushed Hans under their weight. When the dust finally settled, the Shade was nowhere to be found.

“Holy fuck, bro!” Todd gasped. “You made him flatter than a gymnast’s chest!”

“Is he alright?” Ariel questioned.

“He’s a Shade, Little Mermaid,” the imp explained. “Worst case scenario is he stands up all flattened and cartoony.”

“I don’t think that’s how the human anatomy works … ” the redhead shot back, but the imp was having none of it.

“Sure it is,” Todd scoffed, “I saw it on a documentary one time. The dude was run over by a steamroller, and then he pulled himself off the ground and re-inflated his body. The only problem was that it made his voice all high-pitched, and his eyes were bugging out of his skull. It was pretty fucking horrific, even for my standards.”

“Did this ‘documentary’ happen to have a talking rabbit that helped solve a crime with a human?” I asked sarcastically.

“That’s the one, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed as he clapped his hands together. “The one with the super-hot wife who I may or may not have choked the chicken to every night before I went to bed.”

“Uhhhh,” I muttered, at a total loss for words.

“I’m just fucking with you, bro,” Todd giggled. “It was every other night.”

“Look!” Daniel called out and pointed at the rubble.

I turned my attention back to the pile of brimstone as it began to move.

Hans’ armored hand broke through the surface, grabbed onto the pillar for support, and then hoisted his giant frame back into view. The large Shade looked a little shaken up, but he didn’t seem to be injured at all.

“It’s official,” Ariel grinned, “this is the greatest armor in the history of the universe.”

“Brundlefly is fuuuuucked when we get our hands on him,” Todd added. “Now, we have an army of bros who can’t die, wearing armor that can’t be pierced? Jakey, I think we totally just invented immortality.”

“Not quite,” Cupiditas added as she and Eligor approached, “but I think it’ll be close enough for our purposes.”

“But wait,” Todd asked himself aloud, “who are we to play God? Doesn’t that go against the laws of nature itself? If we can create immortality, then who’s to say we can’t become death itself?”

“I think you’ve been hanging out with Plato too much,” Eligor chuckled, but then went silent when she saw my expression. “Sorry, Jacob.”

“It’s fine,” I reassured her. “I’m just happy to hear you use sarcasm. It’s a good fit for you.”

“Very funny,” Eligor sighed. “Don’t get too used to it, though. A knight of the highest order has no time for--”

“King Ralston!” One of my palace guards came running onto the scene, completely out of breath. “King Ralston, I come bearing news!”

“What is it, friend?” I asked the guard as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“It’s-It’s … we’ve spotted Mammon on the outskirts of the Fourth Circle, near the portal to the Third,” he explained. “They are joined by a party bearing the sign of Asmodeus, as well.”

Well, it seemed the other Demon Kings had decided to accept my invitation.

It was time to get this party started.

Chapter 7

This was it. As I sat at the head of our formal dining table, I tried to keep my cool over what was about to go down.

The King of the Second Circle, Mammon, was here, and he wanted to talk alliances. If we could somehow get him on our side, then we would have the First, Second, and Fourth Circles all locked up.

If we could do that, then we’d be one step closer to having the army we needed to bring down Beelzebub and, eventually, my father.

But first thing’s first. We needed to get Mammon on our side.

Every single member of my team was here. All seven of the succubi, Todd, Daniel, Eligor, and Ariel were here, mostly to show off the vast array of power I had standing behind me as king.

“All rise for the King of the First Circle and the Master of Love,” Ronaldo, Asmodeus’ right-hand Shade, announced. “Please give your warmest, wettest welcome to his royal highness, Asmodeus!”

The King of the First Circle already had his fanfare of bass guitars lined up, and they began to play their funky tune to welcome their king.

However, when the music began, only one person walked through the dining room door. It was a shorter, slender woman with dark brown locks, cat-like features, and deep blue mascara that highlighted her purple eyes perfectly.

It was Mirage, the madame to Asmodeus’ succubi.

The brunette woman strutted into the dining room wearing a gorgeous red dress that was bedazzled with sequins and shone like a disco ball underneath the bright lights of the castle. She walked up to the back of the chair we’d reserved for Asmodeus and stood behind it patiently. The music stopped, and then she cleared her throat loudly.

“My master could not be here today,” she explained. “At least, not physically.”

“Great,” Cupi sighed and rolled her eyes, “here’s the part where she shows off her powers.”

“So, in his place,” the brunette madame continued, “I will project his likeness into this room. It will be just like he’s here in the flesh!”

Without another word, Mirage’s eyes lit up with green Hellfire and rolled into the back of her head. The succubus’ body went rigid as she stood as still as a statue, and then emerald-colored smoke began to waft from her eye sockets.

It floated down to the floor, traveled up into the chair, and then formed into the figure of Asmodeus. The demon was clad in his usual flamboyant dress, with a shoulder-padded shirt made up of multicolored feathers and pants that looked like they were red corduroy. He held his jeweled cane in his right hand, and right now it doubled as a makeshift hat rack for his purple tophat. The Demon King was sitting with his left leg crossed over his lap, and his head rested calmly on his fist.

“Good evening, everyone,” he proclaimed. “I apologize for not being here in person, but I had some … urgent matters to attend to.”

The sound of women giggling arose from the background, and I instantly knew what sort of “urgent matters” Asmodeus was attending.

“Hello, Asmodeus,” I greeted the Demon King. “Thank you for being here today, even if you’re just projecting in.”

“Demon Facetime,” Todd whispered. “We could make millions, bro.”

I ignored the imp and turned my attention to the second door.

A group of sickly-looking Shades were lined up with some sort of trumpet instruments in their hands. Upon closer inspection, I realized they weren’t trumpets at all. They were made up of plastic and were elongated so they were nearly the size of the Shades’ entire bodies.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” I muttered under my breath.

They were fucking vuvuzelas.

The Shades raised the instruments up to their lips and began to blow. Instantly, the dining hall was filled with a deep, droning buzz that made my ears feel like they were about to bleed.

“I thought I was supposed to be the master of torture,” Ira cringed as she covered her ears.

Then, through the haze of buzzing, appeared Mammon.

He only stood about six feet tall, but you wouldn’t have guessed it based on his general width. Mammon had a gut the likes of which I’d never seen in my life, one that protruded out like a pregnant woman’s and jiggled with each step he took. The Demon King wore nothing but a raggedy brown loincloth that flapped in the wind and threatened to expose him for all to see. His skin was a sickly light yellow, contrasted sharply by his dark red eyes and black, ram-like horns. Mammon was carrying a large burlap bag over his shoulder, and it jangled along with each of his gut’s jiggles, so I assumed it was the bag that held his wealth.

He was the Demon King of Greed, after all.

“Broooooo,” Todd hissed under the cover of the vuvuzelas, “why is it the people who should be ashamed of their bodies are the ones who wanna flaunt it all the fucking time?”

“I don’t know, Todd,” I mused as I looked at the naked and fat demon, “but I’m really glad he’s got that loincloth.”

“Speak for yourself, Jakey,” the imp shuddered. “One wrong move, and we’re all gonna see the whole bunch of bananas. Also, we really, reaaaallly need to clean whatever chair he decides to sit on. Or burn it. Either one works for me, bro.”

“Shhhh!” I hissed as Mammon grew closer. “We want him on our side, remember?”

The bulky Demon King waddled up to the empty chair, pulled it out, and then sat down slowly. The wood groaned underneath his weight, and for a moment I thought it was going to explode into a million pieces. Mammon placed his bag of wealth down onto the table, shifted in his chair, and then surveyed the room. He lifted his hand into the air, and the buzzing instruments stopped. Now, all that we could hear was the sound of his heavy, labored mouth breathing.

“So,” he mused in a deep, nasally voice, “this is what has become of Azazel’s castle. I must admit, it looks better than I thought it would.”

“We’re honored to have you here, Mammon,” I announced.

The yellow demon raised his bushy eyebrow at Asmodeus and then did a loud scoff.

“So honored to have me here that the King of the First Circle couldn’t even get his ass out of a chair and come here in person?” he retorted. “What’s the matter, Asmodeus? Did one of your concubines get too rough with your asshole?”

“I’d mind your tongue if I were you, Mammon,” Asmodeus sneered. “At least I have concubines to fuck. What do you have, outside of your hand?”

Mammon slammed his hand down on the table angrily.

“How dare you!” he growled.

Oh, shit. I knew Demon Kings had giant egos, but I had no idea this meeting would get off to this bad of a start.

“Whoa, whoa, whoaaaaaa,” I said as I raised my hands. “How about we all just cool our jets, okay? We’re here to talk about an alliance, not to hurl insults at each other.”

“They warned me you were soft,” Mammon said as he stared me down with his dark red eyes, “but I didn’t want to believe it. Now, I’m startin’ to wonder.”

“Excuse me?” I shot back angrily. “I invite you into my domain, into my home, and you dare to call me ‘soft?’ I, the man who slayed the Leviathan and Vermis and tamed the Behemoth? I, the one who killed Azazel and took over his kingdom? The man who survived one on one combat with Beelzebub? You have the gall to call me ‘soft?’”

Mammon’s eyes narrowed, and for a second I wondered if we were going to have an all-out brawl in the middle of the dining hall.

Then he crossed his arms over his chest, leaned back, and laughed.

“That’s more like it,” he chuckled. “That’s the Demon King I’ve heard so much about. Now tell me, King of the Fourth Circle, who in the ever-lovin’ fuck are all these people? Other than fuckface over there.”

“Love you too, Mammon,” Asmodeus mocked with a kissing face.

Whew. Maybe this would work out after all.

I pointed down to Daniel, who sat all the way at the other end of the table.

“That is Daniel, one of my main generals,” I explained.

“Ahhhh,” Mammon said with amusement, “a Shade. Bold move, if I must say so.”

“And these are other generals, who also double as my succubi,” I continued as I motioned to the girls. “Of course, you probably remember them from when they served Azazel.”

“Shades and succubi as generals,” the yellow demon whistled. “I guess you’re a more ‘progressive’ Demon King, eh?”

“You could say that,” I agreed. “Is that going to be a problem?”

The King of the Second Circle just shrugged.

“Only time will tell,” he admitted.

“Anyway,” I continued as I pointed to the imp, “this is Todd, my right-hand man.”

“Don’t let him fool you, Jabba,” Todd added, “I’m the one calling the shots around here.”

I cringed for a second and hoped the demon wouldn’t recognize the nickname. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like he did.

Instead, he laid eyes on Eligor and gasped.

“I definitely know this one,” he said in awe. “You’re one of Lilith’s servants. Are you--is she … allied with Jacob Ralston?”

“I am allied with Jacob Ralston,” Eligor explained. “My mistress, as you know, remains loyal to only Lucifer.”

Mammon must have understood the knight’s implication, because he nodded vigorously.

“And what about this little tart over here?” he asked as he pointed at Ariel. “She looks far too innocent for Hell.”

“My name is Ariel,” she announced. “I’m an angel.”

“No shit?” Mammon questioned. “Did the King of the Fourth Circle take you prisoner?”

“Not at all,” the redhead said as she shook her head. “I chose to leave Heaven behind and follow Jacob of my own free will.”

“Well, hot damn,” the fat demon guffawed. “The rumors about you were true, King Ralston. Buuuut, can you live up to your true potential, or are you just a poser who got lucky?”

“I’m no poser,” I reassured him. “In fact, I--”

Mammon raised his chubby yellow hand to cut me off.

“Feast first,” he demanded, “then we can talk shop.”

“Fair enough,” I agreed with a nod. “Bring it all out, guys!”

A handful of Shades dashed onto the scene with silver platters in hand.

“You are in for a treat today,” Gula stood up and explained, “I was able to secure a delivery from Earth Realm, one that was about as high-quality as you can get.”

The Shades removed the lids of the platter to reveal our feast. On the largest platter sat a heap of snow crab legs that were almost as thick as my arm. They were bright red and smothered with some sort of seasoning, as well as an unhealthy amount of butter.

On the second platter was a bowl full of brussel sprouts covered with lemon zest and black pepper. The third and final platter consisted of fluffy mashed potatoes whose garlic aroma filled my nostrils with a delicious, succulent scent.

The three platters repeated all the way down the elongated table, and I could already tell Mammon was going to have more than his fair share.

The yellow demon was nearly panting as he stared down at the feast in front of him, and saliva dribbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Gula made all this,” I explained. “She’s the best chef in all of Hell, so you’re all in for the best meal of your fucking lives.”

“It’s a shame I’m not here for this,” Asmodeus sighed. “Oh well. I’m going to be eating much better things once we’re done, if you catch my drift.”

“Looks like Asmodeus is dinin’ at the Y tonight, Jakey,” Todd snickered as he picked up a handful of mashed potatoes and then shoved them into his mouth. “And by ‘the Y’ I mean ‘the YMCA,’ if you are picking up what I’m putting dow—”

“Dude,” I interrupted under my breath. “We are trying to get these guys to work with us, not insult their sexual preferences. Also, don’t you want to use a spoon?”

“Nah, I’m good Jakey,” he reassured me through a mouthful of potatoes. “It’s scientifically proven the quickest path between food and the stomach is your hand.”

That didn’t sound right, but I wasn’t going to try and dispute it.

“You brought Earth food down for our feast?” Mammon said, though his voice was distorted by the drool. “I’m impressed, King Ralston.”

The yellow demon picked up one of the larger crab legs, popped the end open like a funnel, and then sucked the meat out like he was slurping down soup. Then he let out a loud belch, tossed it to the side, and went back for more.

I grabbed one of the legs off the plate in front of me, cracked it open and then picked out the meat with my fork. As I raised it to my mouth, I caught a whiff of whatever type of boil Gula had used. It had a twinge of pepper, celery seed, and paprika, all mixed together with a hint of exotic spices I couldn’t identify. The second the crab hit my taste buds, it felt like there was an explosion of flavor on my tongue.

My eyes rolled back into my head as I devoured the buttery, chewy, seasoned meat of the crab, and then I forked one of the brussel sprouts. These things were cooked to perfection, just soft enough to be edible, but not mushy like so many people ended up making the vegetable. It was doused with a lemon-pepper seasoning, so it had a zesty flavor to counterbalance the bitterness of the green itself.

“Gula,” I said with a grin, “you’ve definitely outdone yourself this time.”

“You say that every time I cook for you,” the redheaded succubus chuckled. “I’m starting to think you’d claim the same thing if I made you spit-roasted Vargrat.”

“I’m sure you could find a way to make it amazing,” I shrugged, “so yeah, I probably would.”

“This is an interesting dynamic,” Mammon observed through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. “Your succubi are your equals?”

“They are,” I confirmed. “I don’t believe in all the hierarchical bullshit Lucifer likes to spew. I believe everybody is worth something, they just have to figure out what makes them valuable.”

Mammon and Asmodeus both looked at each other for a second, and then they burst out laughing.

“That’s a good one,” Mammon chuckled. “I’ll have to use that sometime.”

I should have known. These two may have been my potential allies, but they were still Demon Kings. They’d been torturing Shades and enslaving succubi for literally hundreds of thousands of years.

I doubted I’d be able to change their entire perspective over the course of a single dinner.

“I’m surprised I’m the only one who showed up,” Mammon observed. “I would have figured at least one other Demon King would have RSVPed.”

“I believe we are the only ones who have not decided to be against Jacob,” Asmodeus spoke up.

“That’s not quite true,” I added. “I haven’t heard from Belphegor at all, and I’m pretty sure Abbadon is a ‘chaotic neutral’ in this situation.”

“And the other three are against you,” the yellow demon finished the thought. “So, Jacob Ralston, King of the Fourth Circle, why should I join you? Your accomplishments are very nice, but what’s in it for Mammon and the Second Circle?”

“Jacob has already proved himself to be a loyal ally,” Asmodeus explained. “He has kept up his end of the deal and has been a great trade partner for the First Circle. King Ralston has also graciously offered to share his weaponry with us, as well as pledged to come to our defense should we ever be attacked.”

“That’s nice and all,” Mammon shrugged, slurped down another crab leg, and tossed it into the growing pile behind him, “but you must understand the combined forces of Beelzebub, Gressil, and Baphomet are a force to be reckoned with. I don’t see much benefit in publicly announcing that I’m allied with their mortal enemy. It would benefit me and my people to remain completely neutral, would it not?”

“Neutral?” I scoffed. “This is war, Mammon. There is no such thing as ‘neutral.’”

“Sure there is,” the fat demon laughed, “I don’t have to pick a side. What’s stopping me from just sitting back, watching you lot destroy each other, and then swooping in to snatch up the scraps?”

“You’ll be part of those scraps,” I said bluntly.

The room went silent with tension as Mammon nearly choked on his crab leg. He stared me down with his deep red eyes, and his face contorted into a scowl.

“What are you getting at, King Ralston?” he growled.

“Well, look at it this way,” I explained, “Beelzebub and his friends want to kill me and take over my kingdom, right?”

“Go on,” Mammon sneered.

“Say that happens,” I continued to paint the grim picture. “Say the Fourth Circle falls, and Beelzebub is victorious. Then what?”

“He’ll come after me,” Asmodeus interjected. “I have made it no secret that King Ralston and I are allied.”

“Precisely,” I tried to connect the dots for the demon. “Now, geography was never my greatest subject, but what, may I ask, lies between the Fourth and First Circles?”

“I understand what you’re implying,” Mammon mused, “but I’m not buying it. So what if they have to go through my domain to get to Asmodeus’? If I’m a neutral party, then they should be able to pass through without incident.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” I corrected him. “But I mean, hey, if that’s the path you wanna go down, it’ll be your funeral.”

Mammon’s lips were now pursed into a frown that showed off his yellow, pointed teeth.

“How so?” he asked through his grimace.

“If Beelzebub and his allies conquer the Fourth and First Circles, they will have control over five of the nine Circles,” I tried to lead the demon on. “Don’t you think by this point, they’ll be a little power hungry? Now, what happens when a band of power-hungry demons marches through a so-called ‘neutral territory’ after they’ve just taken out the biggest threat to their existence?”

“So, you’re suggesting they’ll want to take it all,” the yellow demon pondered my words.

“I’m not suggesting it,” I corrected him. “I know that is exactly what will happen.”

“You must understand, Jacob Ralston,” Mammon argued, “the Second Circle is not of much strategic value. I do not have many Demon Lords, and my own Shades are useless thanks to the nature of my Circle.”

“Oh yeah,” Todd sighed. “I totally thought I was gonna get my Bob Marley album there.”

“Then that’s all the more reason to join our alliance,” I suggested. “If Beelzebub thinks you’re not a threat, then he won’t hesitate to crush you under his clawed foot. And that is a fact.”

Mammon rubbed his double chin as he thought about my theory. After a minute or two, he began to nod slowly.

“That makes sense,” he agreed, “but why wouldn’t I just join up with your enemies, then? Wouldn’t they offer me more protection?”

“They won’t want you,” Asmodeus interjected, which drew a dirty look from the yellow demon. “They certainly didn’t want me.”

Hold on … Asmodeus went to Beelzebub first? That was something I was completely in the dark about.

“I beg your pardon?” I retorted, probably a bit more angrily than I should have.

Asmodeus bowed his head in shame and nodded.

“I’m sorry, Jacob,” he explained, “but I had the same reservations Mammon does. When I went to talk to Beelzebub about a potential alliance, do you know what he did? He laughed in my face. He told me the First Circle was the most inferior of them all, and he’d simply crush me like a bug if I tried to set foot in his turf ever again. But Jacob isn’t like that. Just as he does his succubi and Shades, Jacob Ralston treated me as an equal. He actually wanted my help, and he wanted to legitimately help me.”

“Wow,” I mused. “I had no idea you felt that way, Asmodeus.”

“Brrrrroooooo,” Todd whispered, “I feel like you better have a ‘no homo’ in the chamber somewhere. This is going down a slippery slope quickly.”

“You are my ally, King Ralston,” the flamboyant demon admitted. “Even though I didn’t believe in you at first, I believe in you now. And I’ll believe in you all the way up until this war is resolved, however that may be.”

Mammon gave a thoughtful nod, and then he sucked down another crab leg.

“I’ll consider your offer,” he conceded. “However, I need to think it over. Preferably over a few more plates of these crab legs.”

“That can be arranged.” I grinned with relief. “Shades, bring our guest some more food.”

I watched the yellow demon of Greed scarf down four more platters worth of crab legs, all while the table chatted about lively topics. We shared battle stories, told dirty jokes, and even joined together in a few songs.

It looked like Mammon was on the cusp of becoming the third member of this alliance.

That’s when I saw him.

There, just beyond the door of the dining hall, stood a man in a red suit, with piercing eyes and slicked-back black hair. He was smiling devilishly as he raised both his hands and gave me a thumbs up, almost as if he were mocking my situation.

I recognized him instantly.

It was Lucifer.

Chapter 8

“Jacob, are you alright?” Superbia whispered. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“For all of our sakes, I really hope I am,” I warned. “Does anybody else see him?”

“Who?” Sia questioned. “There’s nobody here other than the people at this table. Are you certain you didn’t just watch a Shade go by?”

“I-I need to excuse myself, if you don’t mind,” I announced as I sat my silverware down on the table and stood up.

“That’s alright,” Asmodeus added. “I need to get going, anyways. These beautiful women aren’t going to pleasure themselves. Or maybe they are. Either way, I want to be there to help. Let me know what you decide, Mammon. Toodle Oo!”

With that, Asmodeus’ figure disappeared in a puff of green smoke, and Mirage’s eyes returned to normal.

I pushed out my chair and marched toward the area where my father was standing. As I walked, I made sure to keep my hand on the goat-headed dagger. I wasn’t going to let this son of a bitch take me by surprise.

I drew the dagger from my belt, took a deep breath, and then sprang into the hallway.

It was empty, save for Ranaldo, who was leaned back against the wall, smoking a cigarette. The man jumped a foot in the air when he saw me, and I couldn’t really blame him.

I’d probably jump too if a Demon King leapt around the corner and pointed a weapon at me.

“Oh, it’s just you,” I chuckled awkwardly as I lowered the dagger. “I thought you were … somebody else.”

“I’m the only one out here, thank you very much,” Ranaldo muttered. “I thought maybe I could have a little peace and quiet, but apparently I’m not welcome here.”

Asmodeus’ right hand man continued to grumble as he stomped off into the room where the rest of his traveling companions were waiting.

I sheathed my dagger and rubbed my head as it spun.

He was here. I saw him clear as day. The Devil was in my castle.

Yet, somehow, he wasn’t there.

“Jacob?” I heard a woman’s voice from behind me. “What are you doing in here?”

I turned around and saw the sequin-covered figure of Mirage.

Wait … was it her? She had the power to make people appear in places they were not. Was she fucking with me?

“Did you do that?” I asked angrily.

The brunette woman raised her eyebrows curiously.

“What are you talking about?” she asked in an annoyed tone. “I’ve been projecting Asmodeus for the last hour.”

“Just Asmodeus?”

“Well yeah,” the succubus madame laughed, “that’s kinda how my projection powers work. Asmodeus only shows up when I want him to be there.”

“Not Asmodeus,” I shook my head, “I thought I saw Lucifer.”

The color seemed to drain from Mirage’s face as realization set in.

“L-Lucifer?” she gasped. “You saw Lucifer himself here? I--You have to trust me, Jacob, I’ve never met the guy before. I wouldn’t even know what he looks like.”

That made sense. Superbia had told me long ago the Prince of Darkness only revealed himself to those he deemed “worthy,” and a “lowly succubus” was about as far from worthy as you could get in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mirage,” I apologized and rubbed my neck. “I’m just under a lot of stress right now.”

“I get that you’re stressed, but Lucifer?” she mused. “That’s a whole other level of stress. Wait … how do you know what he looks like? You’ve only been a king for a few months.”

“What can I say?” I lied. “Once he heard I killed Azazel, he wanted to come out and meet me. He didn’t believe it was possible for a mortal to defeat a Demon King once, let alone twice.”

“I know,” the brunette purred. “It’s very, very impressive. How did you do it?”

“How did I beat Azazel?” I asked rhetorically. “Easy. It just took two full years of hunting down all his Demon Lords, taking over his cult, and wooing his succubi so he lost power. Then we had to break interdimensional law to come down to Hell and finish the job. That’s all.”

Mirage giggled and placed her hand on her chest exaggeratedly.

“You’re funny,” she chuckled. “I wish Asmodeus had your sense of humor.”

I knew where this was going. I’d seen that move so many times before, where a woman would go overboard laughing at my joke and then tell me what a comedian I was.

Usually, it was an elaborate ploy to get into my pants.

And almost always, it worked.

“Come on,” I piled it on, “Asmodeus has a sense of humor … haven’t you seen what he wears?”

This time, the madame doubled over in laughter.

“You know,” she guffawed, “you haven’t even seen the worst of it. Did you know he has a one-piece pajama suit? It’s made out of Vargrat fur and has a giant hole in the crotch, just in case he gets the ‘urge’ while he’s in bed.”

“Nooooo.” I grinned and shook my head furiously to get the image out of my brain. “Every day must be a new adventure with that guy. Sounds like you have a lot of fun working for Asmodeus.”

The brunette succubus looked down at the ground bashfully and twirled her foot in a small semi-circle.

“Not as much fun as it sounds like your succubi have,” she sighed. “They get to go on all these fun adventures with you, and then they get to come home and have actual responsibilities as if they mattered. And then, they get to fuck you.”

The madame gasped at the words that came out of her mouth, as if she hadn’t meant to say them all along.

It was even more obvious what she was trying to do, but I decided I was going to play along anyway.

“Are you jealous?” I prodded coyly.

Mirage put on another “embarrassed” face and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I-It’s just that, you--you’re so handsome,” she muttered. “You’ve got the body of a god, with your washboard abs and your beautiful green eyes and, well, uhhhh, other things.”

“Are you talking about … ?” I asked as I nodded downward.

“Yes,” the brunette giggled. “I’ve heard about your warhammer.”

“Damn,” I whistled. “How the hell does word get around about that shit?”

“Your succubi like to brag,” she admitted. “They tell me all the great stories of your ‘connections’ and, well … ”

The madame trailed off, and I could tell she was hoping I would finish her sentence for her.

“You want one too?” I asked through a half-smile.

Mirage gasped as her face turned red.

“I mean, I’ve thought about it,” she admitted. “I’ve actually thought about it a lot. Like, a lot a lot.”

I put my hand up on the wall next to her head and leaned in so our faces were only mere inches away.

“Then what’s stopping you?” I questioned. “Asmodeus?”

“I don’t think you understand how his succubi function,” she explained with a sigh. “He may be the Master of Love, but he wants his madames to be ‘fresh’ as he calls it. We don’t get to have sex like our underlings and his concubines do.”

“Ever?” I asked in shock.

“Ever,” Mirage confirmed.

“Well, then,” I smiled and inched closer, “we’ll have to change that.”

I could see a mix of fear and excitement in the madame’s eyes. She wanted me, and she wanted me bad. Well, she was probably playing, but it didn’t matter.

“Do you think he’ll find out?” she questioned nervously.

“I don’t see him around,” I said as I looked in both directions to emphasize my point. “Maybe you just got sidetracked on the way home. Maybe you wanted to stop for a rest or maybe you needed to grab a bite to eat or, fuck, anything could be a legitimate excuse.”

Mirage bit her lip and looked downward. Then her purple eyes raised back up and stared deep into my own. She looked like she wanted to say something, like she wanted to talk herself out of it.

Then she made a move.

The brunette woman wrapped her hand around the back of my head, pulled me in close, and shoved her tongue down my throat.

I pushed Mirage back against the wall as we kissed passionately, and then we began to move toward the nearest room we could find. I threw open the first door we came to, and we found ourselves in one of the castle’s many meeting rooms.

These were designed with a velvet red carpet and held several large, rectangular tables.

Both would serve us well.

I picked up Mirage by her hips and sat her down atop one of the tables. As she fumbled to unbutton my shirt, I reached down and ran my hand along her bare leg until I felt the lips of her pussy. The madame quivered against my touch, but I pressed my lips tighter against hers and slid two fingers inside of her.

“Oh fuck,” Mirage gasped as I began to glide my fingers in and out of her.

The woman was now nearly ripping at my shirt, and then she finally got it off. The second it was on the floor, she began to nibble on my neck and run her hands down my abs.

My cock jumped to attention when I felt her delicate lips touch my neck, and I began to finger her even faster.

Mirage pulled back her head and opened her mouth as if she were going to say something, but all that came out were stifled whimpers. She was getting wetter by the second, and my cock was now aching to be inside of her.

I pulled my fingers out of her pussy, reached down, undid my belt, and then tossed my pants to the floor.

Mirage’s eyes grew wide at the sight of my dick at full mast, but then a smile crept up her face.

“Give it to me,” she begged. “I want to feel that monster inside of me. I want you to stretch my walls wide open.”

“You thought my fingers were nice?” I joked as I pulled up the bottom of her red dress. “Just you wait.”

I positioned myself so I was on top of the succubus, pressed my body against hers, and then slowly slid my cock into her warm, tight pussy. I felt it spasm around me as I bottomed out inside of her, and she bit her hand as her eyes opened wide.

“You can make noise, you know,” I jokingly reminded her.

“I-I just--oh fuck … ” she moaned. “I just don’t want anyone to hear us.”

I summoned purple Hellfire into my hands, thew up four small walls around us, and created a miniature, sound proof room.

“There,” I smiled, “now we can be as loud as we fucking want.”

I was still inside of the beautiful woman, so I reached down and tugged the rest of her dress off the top of her head. Her full, perky breasts bounced sexily as they were released from their fabric prison, and I stared right at her small, pink nipples.

I threw the dress to the side, took both of Mirage’s hands in my own, and then pushed them backward until they were flat against the table. Then I began to thrust passionately as I held the succubus down and explored her mouth with my tongue.

The brunette was now letting it all out. She was groaning excitedly with each pump of my cock. She was gripping my hands tightly as she started to gyrate her hips in unison with my own and her eyes rolled back into her skull.

I tensed up from the incredible sensation and let her know I liked it with a deep, guttural groan of my own.

The succubus must have got my message loud and clear, because she then started to grind her hips faster.

I slowly kissed my way down her body. When I got to her perky tits, I made sure to suck each one tenderly.

As I did so, Mirage grabbed the back of my head passionately and pushed me down harder.

This must have been a hit with her.

I continued to suck on her nipples and pump into her for a few more minutes, until her sounds of ecstasy became hurried and close.

The madame’s blue mascara was now streaking down her face, and her lipstick had been left in marks all over my body. Her breasts bounced with each deep thrust I made, and the sight was bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

Then again, she was already there.

“Oh, Jacob … ” she gasped. “Keep doing that. Keep--ohhhhhhhhh!”

Mirage’s pussy spasmed intensely as she climaxed, and the sound was such a turn on I almost lost it right then and there. However, I held my cool and continued to pleasure the succubus until her orgasm was done.

“I-I think I can come again,” she begged. “Please make me come again. That was amazing.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” I joked as I slid out of the sexy brunette woman.

“You think you’re very funny,” she shot back and then sat up on the table. “Let’s move to the carpet. There’s a position I’ve always wanted to try.”

The succubus slid off the table, strutted seductively around the room, and then bent over.

Her tight little ass was on full display, and she looked back over her shoulder with bedroom eyes as she practically begged me to fuck her.

I jumped off the table, ran over to where she was standing, and slid my cock into her warm slit.

From this position, I could go even deeper inside of her, and we both gasped with pleasure when we realized just how deep that actually was.

“Grab my hands,” Mirage begged as she reached backward.

At first I was confused, but then my dick grew even harder with excitement when I realized what she wanted me to do. I grabbed both of Mirage’s wrists, yanked them backward gently, and pulled her so far down on my dick that her ass was against my pelvis.

She let out a moan of pure ecstasy to show her approval, and then I got to work.

I used her arms as leverage as I pumped into her from behind, and eventually I got a good rhythm going.

Mirage was still super wet, and I glided in and out of her with next to no effort. The sight of her cute ass bouncing against my cock was almost too much, especially since I could see how fucking wet she made my dick with each thrust.

Her pussy was tightening fast, but so were my balls. Now, it was just a matter of who could last longer.

The answer came quickly.

Mirage let out a quick gasp, immediately followed by a loud moan that nearly shattered my ear drums. Then she tightened around my cock and spasmed like mad, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I gripped her wrists tightly, pulled her down onto my cock as far as possible, and then unleashed my climax deep inside of her. It was a powerful flood, and we both cried out as a torrent of my cum filled her accepting womb like a firehose filling a cereal bowl.

“Holy fuck,” she panted a half minute later when I slid out of her. “Is that--Is that what your succubi get all the time?”

“It is,” I said through my own labored breaths as I watched my excess cum leak out of her tight pussy lips and drip onto the table. “Sometimes even better.”

“Better?” Mirage gasped. “How can you get much better than that?”

“The more, the merrier,” I said with a wink, and then I walked over to pick up my clothes.

Mirage slid her dress back on in a hurry and tried to fix her hair, but she was absolutely glowing with post-sex happiness, and she was still dripping my cream down her legs and onto the carpet. She didn’t seem to care about it though, and that was rather appealing.

I pulled up my pants, tossed on my shirt, and then released my purple Hellfire.

Holy shit. I just unconsciously kept that barrier up the entire time we were having sex. Maybe I could make this whole “Hellfire armor” thing work, after all.

“One thing is for sure,” Mirage mused as we both headed toward the door, “we need to schedule a lot more meetings.”

“We do,” I agreed, and then we walked back out into the hallway.

It was empty, so I gave the succubus a final peck on the lips.

“I enjoyed that”

“Yes,” she sighed. “You filled me to the brim, and then some.”

“I was wondering if you were going to bring that up,” I snickered as I nodded down to her crotch.

“Most women would want to wipe it away or take a shower. I like the way it feels dripping down my legs.” She was absolutely giddy, and I could see the goosebumps on her arms. “I just wish succubi could get pregnant.”

“Damn,” I chuckled as I licked my lips. “That’s really sexy.”

“Don’t your other succubi talk about wanting to bear you a child?” she asked as she raised an eyebrow.

“Sure,” I said, and I realized this might have been Mirage’s angle to ensnare me. “But it’s impossible, and we have plenty of things to do right now.”

“I--uh, I’m going to go tell the rest of the ensemble that we’re good to go,” she giggled. “I’ll see you around.”

“See ya.” I waved and gave her a playful wink, and then I turned and headed back for the dining room.

Mammon was sitting there, still chomping down on the crab legs we had prepared while my team watched him with expressions of both horror and intrigue. The King of Greed had certainly lived up to his name. There was literally a pile of empty crab legs next to him that came up to his waist.

Honestly, I wondered if there were any of the poor creatures left in the ocean.

“Jakey!” Todd exclaimed when he saw me walk back in. “How was she, bro?”

I felt my face turn red as I threw up my hands and tried to feign ignorance.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “I was just showing Asmodeus’ people the way out.”

“Oh, you were showing them something alright,” the imp mused.

Todd balled up his hand into a fist, moved it quickly so it was perpendicular with his mouth, and pressed his tongue against his cheek to make a bulge.

“That’s not what happened at all,” I argued.

It wasn’t a lie. Mirage and I may have made love, but she definitely didn’t have my cock in her mouth.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Jacob,” Superbia spoke up. “You know none of us care. In fact, we’re all happy for you.”

The rest of the table agreed with head nods and “yeahs,” but I still shook my head.

“Mirage is the madame for Asmodeus’ succubi,” I reminded them. “I wouldn’t do anything to make one of my allies jealous.”

“I don’t think you understand how Asmodeus works,” Eligor chuckled. “Like your little red friend here, the King of the First Circle isn’t interested in demon women.”

“It’s true,” Todd agreed, “me and Asmodeus have the same fetish. It’s those Earth Realm chicks, bro.”

“So, you’re saying that, should the situation ever come up … ” I began, but was cut off with giggles from the succubi.

“You’ll be fine, Jacob,” Cupi promised. “In fact, this is a good thing. More connections means more power.”

“You know, Ralston?” Mammon finally spoke up as he tossed his final crab leg into the pile. “I admire your gall. One of your allies sends his most prized ambassador to meet with you. And what do you do? You take what you want to take. Being the King of Greed and all, I can respect the hell out of that.”

“So, does that mean you’ll join our alliance?” I cut to the chase.

The yellow demon let out an Earth-rattling belch, wiped his mouth with his hairy arm, and then nodded.

“I will,” he agreed. “Again, I don’t have much in the way of resources, but what the hell? If Beelzebub is going to try and take my kingdom anyway, I might as well go down fighting, eh?”

“That’s what I like to hear!” I exclaimed as I walked over to the fat demon with my hand extended.

Mammoth reached out and shook my hand vigorously, and I immediately regretted that particular decision.

His hand was still smothered with butter from the crab, yet it was somehow sticky at the same time. I held back my gag reflex as I continued to shake, and then I quickly wiped my palm against my pants when he released me.

Somehow, that only made it worse.

“We have a deal then, King Ralston,” the demon announced as he stood up from his chair. “I shall head back to the Second Circle and mull over what provisions I can send you. In the meantime, you and your allies are welcome to use my domain for whatever you see fit.”

“Thank you, Mammon,” I reassured him. “I can promise that you hitched your cart to the right horse.”

“We shall see, King Ralston,” he said ominously. “I certainly hope so. Until next time, my newfound friends.”

Mammon turned to walk away, and all of us had to stifle a laugh.

The demon’s loincloth was somehow even skimpier on the back end, and his planet-sized ass was on full display.

I turned away from the sight, shot my friends a cringe, and then waited for Mammon to leave. The second he was gone, I pointed to the crab legs.

“Welp,” I chuckled, “he definitely lives up to his title. We’re gonna need to get the Shades in here to clean this place up.”

“But not that chair, bro.” Todd pointed to the space where Mammon was just sitting and shuddered intensely. “I think it’s probably best to just burn that shit. Or launch it into outer space. Either one works for the Toddster.”

Well, this day may not have gone completely according to the plan, but somehow, it all worked out.

Mammon was now our ally, and the score was tied at three Demon Kings versus three Demon Kings.

Now, we just had to weaken Beelzebub.

Chapter 9

The King of Greed is now on our side? Mephisto asked after I told him what had transpired here last night.

“Sure is,” Todd explained, “Jakey totally convinced him to join us through, get this, the power of his penis.”

Power of his penis? I am not familiar with such power. Does a spell come out of his genitals?

“Something came outta his genitals, alright,” the imp snickered. “Probably all over that Houdini girl’s face.”

“Her name is Mirage,” I corrected the imp with a facepalm, “and there was nothing on her face.”

“That was Ariel,” Libidine corrected innocently, “and probably each and every one of us in this room aside from Todd.”

“How did you know about Ariel—”

“Oh, we know everything,” Libby giggled. “Especially about the women you make a connection with.”

Impressive. Perhaps I need to learn this “Power of the Penis” spell.

“I think you already do,” Todd added. “You just gotta believe in yourself, Great Pumpkin.”

“Look,” I sighed loudly, “the ‘how’ I got this to happen isn’t important. The important thing is we now have a second Demon King on our side who’s willing to lend us resources and come to our aid when Beelzebub and his forces arrive.”

“We really gotta come up with a better name for those cockknockers, bro,” the imp implored. “Saying ‘Beelzebub and his friends’ sounds like they’re a fucking cartoon from the seventies. I would suggest ‘Axis of Evil,’ but that’s been done to death.”

“And that implies they’re powerful,” I agreed. “They need something more fitting of their idiocy.”

“I got it!” the imp announced as the lightbulb went off in his head. “They’re totally the Mean Street Posse, bro.”

Mephisto, Libidine, Superbia, Eligor, and I all stared at the imp with confusion on our faces.

“I don’t even get that one, bro,” I whispered to my friend.

“What?” he gasped. “The Mean Street Posse, bro. You know, the pro wrestling team from the early two-thousands? Made up of Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs? They tried to band together and be all tough shit, but at the end of the day they were just a couple of preppy wankers wearing sweater vests.”

“That … that actually sounds somewhat fitting,” Superbia admitted.

“Fine,” I conceded. “If it makes you feel any better, we’ll call them ‘The Mean Street Posse.’ But only in private.”

Todd threw his hands up into the air in victory.

“Hell yeah, brother!” he exclaimed in Hulk Hogan’s voice.

Your Earth Realm culture perplexes me, Mephisto admitted. I believe I only understood a handful of words that came out of your mouth.

“It’s alright,” Eligor whispered to the demon, “that’s just Todd. You learn to get used to it after a while.”

“Look,” I tried to get us back on track, “you told me we needed to have an urgent meeting, Mephisto. What’s going on?”

My spies have informed me Duglot and Loras have gotten word of your fight with Durtu and have now gone into hiding.

“How would they know what we did to Durtu?” I asked as I closed my fist angrily. “We made sure to take care of that little fucker.”

That, I do not know. Were there any other witnesses at the scene? Anyone who might want to tarnish your reputation or interfere with your plans?

We had interrogated the guy inside of a cave in the middle of a fucking swamp. There hadn’t been any witnesses.

Or were there?

I did know somebody who felt like he was always watching. Somebody who would love to throw a wrench in my plans and see how it shook things up.

Lucifer.

But I couldn’t reveal that information to the Master of Whispers. He may have been my loyal subject, but he was still a gossiper, and my true heritage would spread through Hell like wildfire.

“I’ve got nothing,” I lied. “It doesn’t matter who told them about our plan, anyway. All that matters is we try to find these guys and take them out. What happened to the other guy? The one with the Conan-sounding name?”

You are referring to Kegg, Mephisto confirmed. He is certainly the most barbaric of the lot. He is also considered to be Beelzebub’s strongest Demon Lord.

“Great,” I grumbled. “How powerful are we talking? Because Durtu made a big fucking stink about how we don’t even know how strong a lot of these guys are any more, since they’ve been at relative peace for thousands of years.”

I am not a fighter, King Ralston. I have no insights into any of these Lords’ true power. However, I am sure none of them can match the Power of your Penis, my king.

I facepalmed hard as Todd burst out laughing and began to roll around on the floor.

“I’ve faced Kegg in battle,” Eligor tried to get us back on track. “When I was still on the side of the Exalted One, my cavalry fought against the Demon Lord in the Battle of Babel. He single-handedly took out half of our forces, but you know what was most peculiar? He isn’t ‘strong’ in the traditional sense.”

No, Mephisto added, if the whispers I’ve heard are true, Kegg is as ruthless as they come.

“They are true,” Eligor warned, “and I’m sure they don’t do him justice. I watched this Demon jump straight into a group of Heaven’s finest warriors and then come out on the other side, completely unscathed. He was doused in the blood of my fallen comrades, and he was cackling wildly as he licked his own blades clean.”

“Sounds like he’s cuckoo for Coco Puffs,” Todd observed.

“He can’t possibly be as bad as--” I began, but the imp cut me off.

“Insane in the membrane”

“Yeah, but--”

“Three fries short of a happy meal.”

“I get it, To--”

“Like, ‘I got Tiger Blood’ levels batshit, bro,” the imp concluded. “What the fuck ever happened to that dude, anyway? One day he’s in Ferris Bueller and then the next he’s--”

“We get it!”I exclaimed. “We get it, bro. Kegg is next-level crazy.”

“Great,” Todd nodded, “I was hoping I was making it crystal clear. If you haven’t noticed, the Toddster isn’t always the greatest communicator. A lotta wires messed up in this head from years and years of hard drug use.”

“You smoke weed, Todd,” I laughed at his claim.

The imp surrounded himself with black Hellfire, floated up so he was at my eye level, and clapped his hands on my cheeks.

“But I smoke weed hard, bro,” he explained with a wide-eyed stare. “No homo.”

“Right,” I muttered as he returned to his position on the floor. “Well, we need to keep taking out Beelzebub’s demon lords, so I guess killing Kegg is our next task. I was hoping we’d be able to start at the bottom and work our way up, but it looks like that’s not gonna be an option.”

“Jacob … ” Eligor warned, “I’m not sure we’re strong enough to go after Kegg. I fear nothing in this world, but him … he’s something else.”

“We have to try,” I sighed. “I barely escaped with my life the last time I fought Beelzebub, and that was only because I had the banishment spell as a surprise last-minute tactic.”

“He activated your trap card, bro,” Todd added with a nod. “But now that it’s been used, you had to throw it in the graveyard.”

“Exactly,” I agreed with the imp’s comparison. “There’s no way we can defeat Beelzebub without weakening him like we did Azazel.”

“Then we should find Loras and Duglot,” the blonde knight pleaded. “We can kill them first and then turn our sights to Kegg.”

“That will take too long,” I argued.

I am with King Ralston, Mephisto agreed. Beelzebub’s forces are still facing off with Abbadon’s in the Seventh Circle, but it can’t last much longer. My spies are telling me the two Demon Kings are trying to arrange peace talks.

“And if Beelzebub has direct access to our kingdom,” Superbia spoke up, “he will not hesitate. He’d probably be there within hours, and we’d be at a disadvantage.”

“No advantage will matter if our bowels are all hanging on Kegg’s mantle!” Eligor shot back, and then she buried her face in her hands.

I’d never seen the knight so scared or vulnerable before, and it made me feel terrible. I walked over to Eligor, wrapped my arms around her tightly, and embraced her like I was never going to let go.

“It’ll be alright,” I reassured her. “I won’t let him hurt you. I promise.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said as she trembled in my arms. “It’s all of you. Kegg will pull out all the stops, especially if he knows who he’s up against.”

“Then we will have to pull out all the stops, too,” I explained. “If we face him together, he won’t stand a chance.”

Eligor pulled away and shot me a look of frustration.

“It’s not that easy, Jacob,” she sighed. “He lives in the Sixth Circle of Hell. We will have to travel through not one, but two enemy territories just to get to him, and then we’ll have to try and account for his batshit crazy strategies. I don’t know if we’re even strong enough to get to Kegg, let alone kill him.”

“Then, uh, why don’t we just find a way to level up?” Todd suggested. “Like, is there a field with a bunch of Vargrats we could go out and grind until we’re stronger?”

“Not a bad idea, Todd,” Superbia pondered, “but I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. The only way for a Demon King to grow stronger is to gain more Demon Lords.”

“We’ve already tried that,” Libidine muttered. “Mephisto and Gamigin were the only ones who answered the call.”

Then it hit me like a freight train, a solution that never would have crossed my mind in a million years.

If we couldn’t get any more Demon Lords to join us, why couldn’t we just make some more?

“Sia?” I asked excitedly. “How are Demon Lords made?”

Everybody in the room stared at me in silence as they tried to figure out what I was getting at. Finally, Todd clicked his tongue and patted Superbia gently on the leg.

“I’ll take this one, Strawberry Shortcake,” he offered. “Looks like Jakey’s parents never taught him about the ‘ol birds and the bees. You see, bro, when a mommy demon and a daddy demon love each other very much, they decide they want to procreate. Or ‘bone’ as I call it.”

“I know that, Todd.” I rolled my eyes. “What I’m asking is, what makes a Demon Lord different than a regular demon? Is it all predetermined before they’re born, or is it something you can be promoted to?”

“There is a ritual that is performed,” Sia explained. “But only a Demon King can … wait, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, Jacob?”

I placed my hands on my hips and grinned at everybody in the room.

“I sure as fuck am,” I announced. “Mephisto, I want you to go round up all the others.”

“Where are you going with this, bro?” Todd asked curiously. “I gotta admit, I’m having a hard time following.”

“If we can’t get anyone else to join me,” I began, “then I’ll just have to make my own Demon Lords. Starting with the demons who have been the most loyal to me my entire career. My succubi.”

Sia, Liby, and Eligor all gasped. Todd had no reaction at first, but then he made an overexaggerated gasp when he saw that’s what everyone else was doing.

“You do know what you’re suggesting, right?” Libidine questioned, still in shock. “This is sacrilege on many, many levels.”

“Yeah bro, it’s sacrilege,” Todd agreed. “Do you know why? I mean, I totally know, but I just want to make sure you do, too.”

“Because of Lucifer’s whole ‘Great Chain of Being,’” I remembered. “The big ‘ol horny, succubi are seen as the lowest of the low, right next to humans.”

“Exactly, bro,” Todd nodded, “that was exactly what I was about to say.”

I would advise against this course of action, my king, Mephisto warned. However, I am your loyal subject. Should you wish to continue going down this path, I will not protest. However, I cannot promise the same of Gamigin. He is a much more … reactionary Demon Lord.

“I’m with Mephisto, Jacob,” Superbia said. “The idea of becoming a Demon Lord is very tempting, but it would cause more problems than it would solve.”

“How so?” I scoffed. “If I make you all my Demon Lords, then my power will increase to levels I could only dream of. And, if I’m that powerful, what will it matter if I go against the rules of Hell? I’m not here to make friends.”

“You kind of are,” Libidine reminded me. “We want Demons, Shades, and the like to follow you, remember? They would never take orders from a lowly succubus, even if we were promoted.”

“Yes, they will,” I reassured her grimly. “Because if they disrespect my loyal Demon Lords, they would be disrespecting me. If they disrespect me, then they may as well be my enemy. And, if this works and we all grow in strength, disrespecting me would be a really, reaalllly bad thing to do.”

“This is insane,” Eligor muttered.

“It is,” I agreed. “That’s why I’m doing it.”

If this is the path you wish to take, then I shall summon the other succubi, Mephisto said with a bow. Shall I bring the angel, as well?

“I don’t know,” I asked Superbia. “Can I make her a Demon Lord, too?”

“Absolutely not,” the madame shot back. “She is still a being of Divine Light. The only way she can become a full-fledged Demon Lord is to fall and become a demon, first. Just like Eligor and Cupiditas. However, should she do that, Ariel will no longer have access to her Divine magic. And, if we wish to keep her as our royal blacksmith, she will need that power.”

“Makes sense.” I nodded and turned back to the orange, lanky figure of Mephisto. “Just round up all the succubi, then.”

As you wish, my King.

The demon bowed, and then he turned around and floated off through the nearby hallway like a spectre.

“Do you think this will really work, Sister?” Libidine asked Sia hopefully. “I would very much like to become a Demon Lord … to have the power and status that goes along with such a title … ”

“There’s nothing in any doctrines that says a succubus cannot become a Demon Lord,” Sia noted, “it’s just been an unspoken rule.”

“Ah, the ‘ol Air Bud approach,” Todd laughed. “Works every time.”

“So, what happens from here?” I asked the petite redhead. “I bring all of your sisters in here, and then what? Do I just pull out my sword and knight them or something like that?”

“Not exactly,” the madame retorted. “It is called the Anointing et Elegit, and it’s a very formal process.”

“The Anointing of the Chosen,” I repeated seriously.

“I have been through it,” Eligor explained. “When Lilith decided to make me her humble servant. It is … very intimate.”

“Ah, shit,” Todd sighed. “Is this something I need to be in the other room for? Like, is Jakey gonna have to use his ‘sword’ for something else?”

“Nothing like that, Todd,” Eligor mused. “It’s-”

“And by ‘something else,’ I mean running train on all of you until his gizzard’s as dry as the Mojave,” the imp interrupted.

“It’s not quite that intimate,” the knight sighed. “Though, with someone as beautiful as Lilith is, I wish it were.”

I felt my pants tightening at the thought of the sexy, scantily-clad knight making love to another woman, and I suddenly realized it would be the perfect way to better Cupi and Eligor’s relationship, but then I forced my mind back to the present.

Soon I’d fix that problem with my penis.

“No,” Sia explained, “the Anointing et Eligit is normally done between two male demons, usually those who share a strong bond with one another. For example, two demons who have been on an adventure together or who have served in the same army or something of that nature.”

“I think that’ll be easy,” I joked. “I don’t think there’s a soul in the world that would say I haven’t ‘strongly bonded’ with my succubi.”

“Power of the Penis,” Todd retorted with a facepalm.

“Actually, now that I think about it, it’s kinda weird,” Libidine pondered aloud. “Many Demon Kings have slept with their succubi. Why hasn’t somebody tried this already?”

“Two reasons,” Sia explained, “though the Demon Kings slept with their succubi, they didn’t give a damn about any of them. So, there was no real ‘bond.’ The second reason can be summed up in one single word: hatred. Succubi are slime to Demon Lords, sex slaves whose only reason to exist is to please their twisted fantasies and act as pawns in the war between Heaven and Hell. The thought would have been laughable to any self-respecting Demon Lord.”

“Well, unfortunately for the rest of Hell, I don’t give a fuck about my self-respect,” I chuckled. “I need more loyal subjects, and who could be more loyal than the women I share my bed with every single night? The ones who have been there since the beginning and have helped me through the thick and the thin.”

Libidine got down on one knee and bowed her head somberly

“It would be an honor, Jacob,” she announced.

“Come on, Libby,” I mumbled as I rubbed the back of my head, “you don’t have to do all that.”

“Actually, she will,” Eligor spoke up. “They all will.”

“They?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not gonna join them?”

The blonde knight shook her head vehemently.

“No,” she stated simply. “I am already sworn to serve the Demon Queen. Even though I am enjoying serving you, I am still loyal to my original mistress.”

“Well fine,” I shot back playfully, “I guess you’ll just miss out on all the fun.”

“I think you’ll be fine,” Eligor shrugged, “you’ll have eight new Demon Lords. That will be plenty to give you the power boost you need.”

“Eight?” I asked. “I only have seven succubi.”

“Are you not anointing Todd?” the blonde questioned.

Todd’s eyes went wide, and then he began to shake his head back and forth like a dog playing with a chew toy.

“Nope,” the imp protested. “Noooopppe. Notta.”

“Why not?” Eligor prodded.

“Because, Goldilocks,” Todd argued, “me and Jakey may be best buds, but not like, well--”

The imp lifted up his two index fingers and began to press the tips together slowly. Then he switched the left hand to make a circle and moved his finger in and out rapidly. If that hadn’t made the point, he then made his two index fingers begin to smack against each other like they were dueling.

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Eligor said with a roll of her eyes. “You and Jacob have been friends for years, no?”

“Since the second grade,” the imp said proudly.

“And you’ve been on a lot of adventures together, especially after you were introduced to the world of Demons?”

“Yeaaaahhhh,” Todd crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head curiously, “what are you gettin’ at, here?”

“Then your bond is already strong enough,” Eligor said with a nod. “If he so wishes, Jacob could make you a Demon Lord, as well. No ‘boning’ involved.”

The imp let out a sigh of relief and wiped his brow.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he chuckled. “I like ya, Jakey, but I don’t like you. No homo and all.”

“Wow,” I joked, “I feel like I’m back in middle school.”

“Best years of my life, bro,” the imp snickered, “so many days hanging out in gym class, hotboxing inside a locker … ”

“That’s because you were always being stuffed inside of it,” I reminded him.

“Jokes on them,” Todd scoffed. “Those bullies all peaked in high school. Meanwhile, I’m gonna be a fucking Demon Lord!”

“What’s this Mephisto is telling us?” Cupiditas questioned as she came through the threshold of the door. “He was saying you wanted to make us all Demon Lords, but that can’t possibly be right.”

Tris, Ira, Gula, and Invidia were right behind her, and Mephisto was taking up the rear.

“It’s the truth,” I confirmed. “You succubi are about to become the newest Demon Lords of Hell.”

There were murmurs and gasps all throughout the War Room, but I quickly quieted them with a wave of my hand.

I spent the next few minutes explaining to everyone what I intended to do, and they were all both enamored and shocked at the thought.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Cupi sighed. “Once you’ve turned us, there is no going back.”

“I don’t know why you keep claiming this is a bad thing,” Ira giggled. “Once I’m a Demon Lord, I’ll have plenty of underlings to test out my new torture toys on. I crave more power!”

“And I can be Gula, Lord of the Chefs,” the Sister of Gluttony stated proudly.

“One question,” Tris pondered aloud, “if I’m a Demon Lord, does that mean I have to do, like, management and logistics and all that high-level bureaucratic shit?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” I shrugged. “It’s mainly just so we can all grow in power and take down that bastard, Kegg.”

Cupiditas’ body went rigid at my words.

“We’re going after Kegg?” she asked calmly, though there was a slight tremble in her voice.

“He’s one of Beelzebub’s best,” I nodded, “if we can kill him, it’ll knock flyboy down a notch or two. And a weakened Beelzebub is a killable Beelzebub.”

“I’ve already warned him,” Eligor sighed. “That’s why he’s determined to make you all Demon Lords.”

“How does this process work?” I asked Superbia. “Like, is there some sort of incantation I need to perform, or do I do some hand motions or--”

This is the part where I leave you, Mephisto interrupted. The Anointing et Elegit is a sacred ceremony, only to be shared by the anointed and the anointer. Should you need me, I will be in my quarters.

Without another word, the tall, orange demon hovered into the air and then floated out of the room.

“I’ll be on my way, as well,” Eligor added as she headed for the door. “Let me know how it all goes.”

“Everyone get down on your knees,” Superbia explained as she fell down to one knee and bowed her head.

All six of her sisters followed suit, as did Todd.

“This feels really fucking weird,” I chuckled awkwardly.

“Please,” Cupiditas reminded me, “this is far from the first time you’ve seen us on our knees in front of you.”

Todd made an obnoxious gagging sound, but I just rolled my eyes.

“Now, Jacob,” Sia explained, “the ritual begins with a ‘callout’ of sorts. You must go around to each one of us, touch us with purple flames, say our names, and then ask us a series of questions in Latin. Are your Latin language skills still up to the task?”

“I think so,” I mused. “Especially if you say it first.”

Starting with Superbia, I began the process. I summoned violet Hellfire into my hands, placed them onto both her shoulders, and then repeated the words she told me to say. Roughly, they translated into something like “Shall you act as my loyal servant? Shall you stand with me when my enemies try to break my will? Shall you pledge an oath to me, the Demon King of the Fourth Circle, and me alone?”

After the series of questions was asked, Superbia nodded her head.

“Ego eorum,” the madame agreed, and then I moved onto the next succubus.

I went down the line and repeated the questions to the rest of my friends. They all responded with a somber yet enthusiastic “I shall,” and then I deactivated my spell and stepped away from the line.

“Now what?” I asked. “Are you all Demon Lords?”

“Hardly,” Superbia joked. “Next comes the infusion, the part of the ceremony where our bodies are bonded together into one.”

“Uh, I don’t like where this is going,” Todd interjected with a raised finger.

“Relax,” the madame reassured the imp. “For your bond, you may do what so many other male demons do and use your blood. Now, my Sisters and I, on the other hand … we might want to use a different and more intimate sort of fluid.”

“Say no more,” Todd shook his head, “as soon as the ceremony’s done, I’m audi-five thousand.”

Sia stood up, walked over to Invidia, and drew the knife from her belt.

“Hey!” the gothic succubus growled. “You know I don’t like other people touching my shit!”

“I’ll give it back, Invidia,” Sia promised, and then she walked back over to Todd. “Now, give me your hand.”

The imp extended his tiny mitts toward the redhead, and then she swiftly slashed the sharp edge of the dagger against his palms. Todd recoiled in pain and began to open and close his fists aggressively.

“Yeeeooow!” he gasped. “I thought you were gonna prick my finger or something!”

The redhead shrugged with a coy smile before she turned to me and held out the dagger in front of her.

“Now, it’s your turn,” she said. “Remember,when using blood for this ceremony, you must cut deep. The scars you will create symbolize the deep bond you share with your demon lords.”

“Fucking hell that hurt!” Todd called out from behind the madame. “Why don’t more demons just do the whole ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ thing? I mean fuck ‘no homo,’ that shit’s gotta hurt a lot less than slicing your wank-hand open!”

I gripped Vidia’s blade tightly in my hand, placed it up against my palm, and dragged it across as I applied pressure. The cut of the dagger stung like a bitch, and within seconds I felt my warm blood rising up to the surface of my skin.

“Now, you two must place your blood-soaked hands against each other and repeat after me,” Sia commanded.

Todd and I clapped our bloodied hands together as the crimson liquid melded together and dripped onto the floor in gory dribbles.

The succubus began an incantation in Latin. Something about how our essences were now mixed, and how our spirits were forever intertwined. As Sia spoke, me and Todds’ hands lit up with golden Hellfire, and I felt a twinge of warmth shoot through my very core.

Then the fire subsided, and it was over.

Todd and I pulled our hands away and inspected them closely.

The cut on my palm had been seared shut by the Hellfire, and now all that remained was a slender white scar.

“Was that it?” Todd asked curiously. “Am I a super-badass Demon Lord now?”

“It takes some time for the full effects of the ceremony to be felt,” Superbia admitted.

“So, what I’m hearing is I need to go veg out on the couch for the next ten hours and do absolutely nothing?” the imp stated with excitement in his voice. “Nothing but snoozing, doobie-smokin’, and recovering by eating a fuckload of junk food? Count me in!”

“I’m not sure if that’s--” Sia began, but Todd was already headed out of the room.

“Have fun with your orgy!” he joked as his tiny frame disappeared down the hallway.

There was an awkward silence in the room, until I finally decided to speak up.

“Is that what’s happening?” I gulped. “Also, the searing Hellfire isn’t gonna light my dick on fire or anything, is it?”

“Not a chance,” the madame grinned, “I would never do anything to put that lovely pleasure rod in jeopardy. No, I just figured that, since we are all so intimate, we could do things a bit more … fun. All that is required of this final part is that the two parties swap bodily fluids, and, well … you know where this is going, don’t you? You’ll need to bury your seed deep inside each of us.”

“I dunno if I can handle you all,” I admitted with a grin. “I’ve never been with seven women at once before.”

“And you won’t be now,” Superbia chuckled. “Unfortunately, we have to go one-by-one, or else the ceremony won’t work. Now, who would like to--”

Before the final words could leave her mouth, all of the succubi seemed to offer themselves up at once.

“Take me first!” Ira exclaimed. “I’ve been extra naughty today.”

“Hold on, Sister,” Cupiditas protested. “I have been out there training the Shades for hours upon hours at a time. I should be the one who gets rewarded.”

“Fuck this,” Gula growled as she leapt forward, fell to her knees, and tore off my pants. “You snooze, you lose.”

The beautiful, curvy redhead had my cock in her hands before anyone else could stop her, and then she slid her lips around it seductively.

“No fair!” Tris gasped. “You were faster than me!”

“May as well try and make this go as fast as we can,” Libidine giggled, and then she walked over and placed her hand tenderly against the back of Gula’s head. “Jacob only has so much love to go around.”

“Trust me,” I moaned as Libidine helped guide Gula’s mouth down my erection, “there’s plenty for all of you.”

“Here,” Tris offered as she got down on her knees. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ll help, too.”

The slender brunette scooted over beside Gula, placed her lips against my balls, and then began to suck tenderly.

As the three succubi worked on my dick, the rest of the group started to have their own fun. Each one of them giggled as they undressed, and then they began to press their naked bodies against each other as they made out passionately. A few of them even started to pleasure each other with their fingers, and I could feel my dick growing impossibly hard in Gula’s sweet mouth.

The sight of the succubus orgy made the warm coil in my abdomen tighten, and I knew I was about to burst.

Superbia must have sensed that I was hitting the edge, because she tenderly placed her hand on Gula’s head.

“Be careful, girls,” she giggled. “The ceremony will only work if he inseminates us.”

Libidine released her grip on Gula’s head, and my cock slid eagerly out of the redhead’s mouth.

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” The Sister of Gluttony grinned, and then she got down on all fours and turned around so her curvy ass was on full display.

Tris pulled away from my balls, took my cock in her hand, and guided it over to her sister’s pussy.

Gula’s lips spasmed around my cock as I entered her, and my dick began to tremble in response.

I began to pump into the redhead as fast as I could as I felt myself hitting the mountaintop. Finally, I grabbed the woman’s flared hips, pulled her into me so my cock was buried as deep inside of her as it could get, and unleashed what felt like a geyser of cum inside of her.

“Oh, wow!” the succubus let out a gasp of surprise as I filled her, but then she simply looked at me over her shoulder and bit her lip with satisfaction.

“Say the words, you two,” Superbia reminded us.

Gula and I repeated the incantation from before, and our bodies were engulfed with golden Hellfire. Then, Gula slid herself off my cock and winked.

“That was fun,” she giggled. “I want to be made a Demon Lord more often.”

Before I could even respond, I felt Tristitia’s tongue running along my manhood. My erection returned immediately, and then the succubus took it firmly in her hands.

“See?” she mused. “He’s got plenty of juice left in the tank. Now, if you’ll excuse me … ”

Tris placed my cock in her mouth, and I couldn’t help but throw my head back in ecstasy. Unsurprisingly, her technique was less elaborate than the rest of her sisters, but holy shit, she knew what she was doing.

Once I was back at full capacity, the brunette succubus let my dick fall from her thin lips and then laid back on the ground.

She was the Sister of Sloth, so of course this was her favorite position.

Oh well. She was still a great fuck.

I slipped my erection inside of the lithe succubus and sucked on her neck while I thrusted into her passionately. She was unbelievably tight, and I was fucking with purpose now, so we soon both climbed to the peaks of our mountains.

“Oh, fuuuucccckk, Jacob!” she cried out over the sound of all my succubi moaning, and I felt her tight tunnel grasp me with a kung-fu grip.

I grunted in response to her climax, and felt my balls tense. This climax was just as powerful as the one with Gula, and I seemed to pour just as much cum inside of Tris’ womb as I had with her sister. Then, both of us said the words, and Tris was endowed with the powers of a Demon Lord.

“Me next!” Ira growled as soon as Tris was off my cock, and she didn’t bother to suck me back to full mast. She just rolled me over so that I was laying on my back and roughly rubbed my shaft while she swung her leg over my hips. Then she led me into her dripping wet pussy and started to scream as she rode me reverse cowgirl style. Her movements were fast and rough, and the blend of pleasure and pain pushed me toward a third orgasm with surprising speed.

“Oh, yeah, big boy,” Ira cooed as she aggressively impaled herself on my cock. “I want that cum deep in me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Jacob, give me all of it! Right! Fucking! Now!”

Her body started to quake as her orgasm began, and I could do little more than groan as I felt my balls tremble. I couldn't believe that my body was still performing after three climaxes, but being a demon king must have given me unimaginable sexual endurance. I grabbed onto Ira’s hips just as I had with Gula, and then I forced the dominatrix down onto my cock as I arched my own hips up. This forced my tip as deep into her as it could go, and then my cum sprayed into her accepting body like a broken levy spilling a lake.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Ira groaned as she vibrated on top of me. “There is so much. Ohhh, fuck, Jacob. So much cum. Ohhh, I love you so much!”

“Damn,” I groaned a few dozen seconds later after I’d finished filling the beautiful woman. Then we both took a deep breath while the rest of my succubi cheered.

Sia promoted us to say the words, and then Ira glowed gold. Then she stood up, and my cock slid out of her pussy with a slick sound. Her pink hole was spread open wide from my cock, and a thick stream of my cream dripped from between her lips and then splashed into my balls.

“Ohh, can’t leave a mess, can we?” Ira said as she spun around, but both Cupi and Sia were already moving to lick up the cum, and Ira was just a few seconds too slow with her tongue.

“Who is next?” I asked, but Sia and Cupi were too busy sucking the cum off my balls to answer.

“I get to choose, since you just fucked me,” Ira chuckled darkly as she turned to my beautiful goth succubus. “I want to watch you take Invidia.”

“I-I-I… uhhh,” Invidia started to say as she waved her hands. “I’m a bit shy, so I was hoping that--”

“No you don’t,” Ira growled, and then she was instantly at the other woman’s side and kissing her passionately.

Invidia’s eyes opened wide when Ira shoved her tongue down her throat, but then she started to moan as the rest of the girls began to run their fingers up and down the goth girl’s snow-white skin.

Sia and Cupi had finished cleaning my balls off, so I stood from the ground, and walked over to where the rest of the girls were touching Vidia. Ira opened her eyes and saw me approaching the group, and she broke off her kiss and then led Invidia over to a nearby table.

“Bend over this,” Ira instructed the other woman, and then Invidia gave out a surprised gasp when the dark-haired dom pushed her massive breasts into the flat top of the piece of furniture.

The effect was dramatic, and Invidia’s perfect ass and pussy were now exposed to me.

My cock was as hard as a titanium rod once more.

“Ohhh, she is so ready for you, Jacob,” Gula said as she ran her fingertips over Invidia’s slick pussy lips. “She’s sooooo fucking wet for you. Aren’t you, Invidia?”

“Yessss,” the goth woman gasped.

“Do you want Jacob to fuck the shit out of you with his warhammer?” Ira taunted.

“Yessss,” Invidia panted.

“Do you want all your sisters to watch him pound that tight little pussy of yours until you lose your mind?”

“Oh, fucking please!” Invidia cried out.

I didn’t need any more encouragement, so I pushed the tip of my cock against Invidia’s slick lips, and then I thrust my hips forward and buried my full length into her with one movement.

“Ohhhh!” Invidia cried out with a mixture of joy and agony.

I could understand why, since the big titty goth girl’s pussy was unbelievably tight, and my aggressive thrust had pulled her wide open.

“You like that?” Ira growled into Invidia’s ear, but my current lover could only gasp and nod as I started to slam into her.

“Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh!” Invidia gasped as my tempo increased to a neck breaking speed, and she dug her nails into the wood of the table deep enough to leave grooves.

I thought I would have been able to last a lot longer, but Invidia’s tightness, combined with the sounds of her panting and the other succubi rubbing their fingers, tongues, and lips over each of us, soon sent me over the edge. I could feel the goth girl building toward a climax also, and she glanced over her shoulder at me with her mouth open and her eyes wide with desire.

“I’m going to fill you, Invidia,” I growled when I knew I was going to cum, and the goth girl just nodded as her tunnel clenched around me.

It was another mind blowing orgasm, and I pushed as deep as I could into Invidia while she pushed her ass back into me. She let out an animalistic scream when she felt my cum fill her, and it seemed to last a full minute, or at least the length of time it took for me to empty myself into her womb.

“Say the words,” Sia ordered, and both Invidia and I did so.

The goth girl glowed gold, and then she let out a whimper of agony when I slid my cock from her tight hole.

“That was so hot,” Tris sighed.

“Yeah,” Libby giggled. “Watching Jacob bend Vidia over the table like that and just man handle her. Ohhh, was delicious.”

“The best part was how much Vidia loved it,” Ira snickered as she brushed back Invidia’s dark hair from her damp forehead.

“I … I … I … Think Cupi should go next,” Invidia panted as she leaned against the table, and a half smile spread across her full lips as she stared at the adorable blonde.

“Oh, goody!” The fit, naked succubus got down on her hands and knees, and she seductively crawled over toward where I was standing. As she moved, her tight ass rippled along with the muscles in her body, and my cock instantly sprung to attention at the sight. Once she was finally in front of me, Cupi’s tongue fell out of her mouth, and she gave me a devilish look.

The Sister of Greed was known for her “sharp tongue,” and she did not disappoint one bit.

Cupi teased me as she ran her long, wet tongue along the shaft of my dick and my balls. Then she made her move. The Sister of Greed cupped her hands around my tight balls, opened up her mouth, and shoved my cock into it as far as it could go.

“Holy shit, that’s hot,” Invidia gasped as she reached down and began to touch her pussy, and the cum leaking out between her lips.

“Let me help you, Sister,” Ira purred as she walked over behind Vidia, slid her hand down into her slit, and began to kiss her neck from behind as she fingered her hole.

The gothic succubus let out a whimper of pleasure, and I had to turn away from the two women and focus on Cupi or I knew I’d explode immediately.

The rest of the succubi watched in awe as Cupi worked her magic. Sia and Libby were literally drooling, and from the hungry looks on the faces of the women I had already filled with my cum, I guessed they all desperately wanted a second round.

“That’s it,” the blonde beauty urged when her mouth popped free of my cock. “Just relax and let go. I’m so hungry for your cum.”

“He still needs to get to--” Sia started to say, but Cupi slammed her mouth back down the full length of my shaft and I felt my tip bottom out in her throat.

“Cupi!” Sia groaned, “He needs to inseminate you! Don’t--”

But it was too late. Cupi made one last pass at my cock, and then I unleashed a powerful orgasm. The blonde woman’s eyes widened in a haughty expression, but then they nearly rolled back into her head once she felt me fill her mouth and throat with a torrent of my seed.

“Cupiditas!” Sia gasped. “You were supposed to let him orgasm inside of you! He only has so much seed to give to the rest of us!”

The blonde woman glanced back at her madame, swallowed, and then shrugged.

“That was inside of me, was it not?” she cooed.

“Ugh,” Sia sighed. “You greedy girl.”

“That’s just like Cupi,” Gula giggled.

“Greedy bitch,” Ira asked.

“We all should have expected it,” Tris laughed, “but you gotta pass that pipe to the left after you take a hit, babe. Libby and Sia haven’t had their ride yet.”

“Ohhh, shit,” Cupi said as she winced, and then she looked at Sia and Libby. “Sorry. Can I--”

“Just go again,” Sia groaned. “Make it count this time. He needs to fill your womb.”

“I can do that,” Cupi moaned as she reached forward and placed her flat tongue against my cock.

The succubus licked me clean in expert fashion before she allowed my half-mast dick to enter her mouth once more. Once I felt my cock hit the back of her throat, my half-mast quickly became a full one.

Cupi sucked my dick for a solid minute before Superbia made another comment.

“Cupi…” she purred. “We may all be enjoying watching you and Jacob, but think of our poor king. There’s only so much fluid in his body.”

The blonde succubus’ eyes grew hungry as she realized what was about to happen next. Cupi pulled away from my dick, kissed up my abs, and then threw her arms around my neck.

Almost automatically I picked her up in my arms, positioned her hips over my throbbing erection, and eased her down onto it.

A few surprised moans blubbered out of her mouth as I bottomed out inside of her, but she was taking it like a champ. Her soft moans quickly turned into near-screams as I thrust in and out of her while also using my hands to move her up and down rhythmically.

The succubus’ walls tightened around me as her sounds became hurried gasps. Then, without warning, her arms went rigid around my neck and she let out an ear-shattering moan.

I didn’t stop. I kept pumping into her fit, tight body until I felt my balls tighten and my cock become sensitive beyond words. Then, I unleashed a literal eruption of semen into her warm, waiting womb.

We both stared at each other and panted as we tried to recover. Then I pulled Cupi off my cock, stabilized her as she stood up, and then nodded.

The succubus and I said the magic words, and then her body was aglow with golden Hellfire.

“I want to go next!” Libidine giggled as she bounced over to me.

This time, I didn’t even need to be sucked off or played with to get back to full mast. Libidine was my original succubus, and she had been with me the longest of any of these women. She knew exactly what I liked.

The Sister of Lust placed her hand against my chest, pushed me over to the ground, and then jumped on top of me like she was mounting a horse. I felt the slippery wet walls of her pussy grip my erection as she slid down onto me, cowgirl-style.

She began to grind her hips wildly, and her giant breasts bounced happily as I felt her ass slap and rub against my balls.

“Holy shit!” the dark-haired beauty gasped when I started to move my own hips in rhythm with hers. “K-Keep doing that.”

“Wow…” I heard Invidia half-whisper, half-moan from across the room, and the other women all echoed her gasp of hunger as they watched us.

Liby might have known what I liked, but she also knew how to keep me going.

She continued to ride me, with my cock bottoming out inside of her pussy and touching the tip of her cervix, for nearly five more minutes. Every time I felt like I was headed toward the edge, she would stop, give me a wink, and then wait for me to cool down before she started again.

All the while, I let out moans of intense pleasure and ran my hands up along her naked body.

“Oh, come on, Liby,” Gula sighed after she’d been watching her sister pleasure me for nearly twenty minutes. “Cupi’s supposed to be the Sister of Greed. You still need to let Sia have a turn.”

Libidine rolled her eyes at the comment and then went in for the kill. She increased her pace tenfold as she pressed her arms seductively against the sides of her tits. Somehow, this made her already voluptuous breasts look even bigger as they bobbed along with her body.

The succubus’ body tensed as her pussy quivered around my cock, and the sensation was so intense that my eyes rolled back into my head.

“I think I’m coming!” Liby moaned loudly, and that was all I needed to hear.

I unloaded into Liby’s pussy like a fucking super soaker.

She let my warm cum soak into her womb for a minute before she hoisted herself off me and shot a dirty look at Vidia.

“There,” she mused. “I could have finished him off at any time, you know.”

The succubus and I said the incantation once more, and Liby was given the powers.

“And then there was one,” Cupiditas chuckled and slapped little Sia on the bare ass.

Sia grinned from ear to ear as she sauntered forward, powered by her petite, skinny legs. The Sister of Pride watched joyfully as Liby licked my cock and balls clean, all for her madame.

“There you go, sister,” Liby purred. “Now he’s ready to go again.”

Libidine stepped away, and Sia pressed her tiny, naked body against my own. The redhead reached down, took my half-mast erection in her hand, and began to stroke it like it was a bat being polished. As she did so, she pressed her thin lips against my mouth, and our tongues began to explore each other.

“Go Sia!” Ira whistled. “Show him who’s boss around here.”

“Why, Ira,” Sia cooed as she pulled her mouth away. “We all know who the boss is around here. It’s Jacob.”

That was fucking right. I was going to show her who was the boss.

I picked up the tiny redhead in my arms, and she gasped with surprise. Then, I moved her over to the same table where I had fucked Invidia, laid her down, and sucked on her tiny pink nipples as I fingered her.

“O-Ohhhhh,” Sia gasped in ecstacy. “That’s amazing.”

“That’s just the beginning,” I smiled up at her. “Watch this.”

I pulled my fingers out of her wet tunnel, took both of her ankles in my hands, and pushed her legs up above her chest. Then, I glided my rock-hard cock into her tight pussy.

The succubus was wet as can be, and her pussy was already throbbing with anticipation as I entered her.

Sia bit her lip as I pushed myself into her completely, and then I jackhammered away at her tiny body as quickly as I could.

“Jacob!” she moaned loudly as I fucked her hard. “I’m- I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.”

Luckily for her, I didn’t need the encouragement.

Sia’s gasps became hurried and sharp, and then she threw her head back onto the table as she gripped at the edge and let out a deep, animalistic groan.

As her warm tunnel spasmed around my dick, my balls winded up for the pitch. When she finally let out the familiar scream of joy, I released, and blasted her full of my cum.

I fell down onto the succubus’ naked body, completely exhausted. I kissed her once more before she said the words, and then her body was engulfed by the magic spell.

When I tried to get up, I found that all my adrenaline was gone, and I could barely stand. I wobbled over to the couch, where I instantly crumpled onto it in a heap.

“I think we’ve given Jacob quite the workout,” Ira observed.

“Well shit,” Libidine added. “I was ready to go again.”

“Maybe in an hour or two, once he has recovered,” Cupiditas snickered. “I’d know I’d need a minute after that. He fucked me good.”

“I-I think I’m okay,” I reassured the succubi and tried to stand back up.

My legs had other ideas, and I plopped down onto the couch once more.

“It’s alright, my love,” Libidine reassured me as she approached with a blanket. “You just get some rest for now. Perhaps when you awaken, you will have eight new Demon Lords at your service.”

“I think they were already just ‘at my service,’” I shot back coyly.

“Get some sleep, Jacob,” Sia reassured me.

I watched all of the sexy succubi walk away, and my eyes were focused on their voluptuous asses that jiggled as they walked. For a second, and just a second, I thought I could feel my dick growing hard again.

But then exhaustion struck. I closed my eyes, and I was out before I knew it.

The next thing I heard was a loud, startled yell.

“Jacob!” Libidine’s voice gasped. “Jacob, get down here now!”

Chapter 10

I quickly tossed on a pair of pants, tugged on a shirt, and then I dashed out of my room and into the carpet-lined hallway of the castle.

My mind was racing at the thought of what could possibly be happening. Libidine’s voice had been mixed with horror and surprise, as well as a twinge of shock.

Did Beelzebub finally make it through the Seventh Circle? Were his forces here right now?

If that were the case, we weren’t even close to being prepared. The effects of the ceremony might not have even happened yet, and almost all of Beelzebub’s Demon Lords were alive and well, which left him near full power.

As I ran into the War Room, I was prepared for the worst.

Instead, I found nothing but my succubi and Todd, cackling happily with ecstatic expressions on all of their faces.

My next observation, however, led to an audible gasp.

They all looked different.

Libidine still had her long, black hair, but it now glistened in the light as if it were made of silk. Her goat-shaped horns were longer, as well. They were now nearly a foot long on each side and made up of a shimmering black material reminiscent of the castle’s brimstone. Also gone were her regular human clothes, replaced by a skimpy breastplate that only covered her breasts, cuisses that ran up her delicate thighs, and knee-high boots. The armor was made of a black metal, almost as if it’d been formed out of brimstone.

Cupi’s look had changed, as well. The fallen angel who normally wore form-fitting white clothes was now adorned with pieces of shiny silver armor. Pauldrons of the same material covered her shoulders, each one with a round emblem that bore the same goat’s head on my dagger. The fabric of her outfit was now more loose and flowy, almost as if she were wearing armor over a toga.

The most striking thing, however, were her horns.

The normal, ram shaped headpiece had completely turned on its side and now stretched up to the heavens as if they were antlers. The bony stalks twisted and turned around each other until they formed into the shape of a crown.

“Holy shit,” I gasped. “You guys look great!”

“That’s nothing,” I heard Gula’s voice speak up from behind, and I whipped around to see the Sister of Gluttony’s new look.

The redhead’s horns were jutting out of her head horizontally, and they looked large enough to hang freaking coats on. Meanwhile, her large breasts were covered with a brown leather breastplate studded with flaming golden pieces of metal. On her bottom half was a short, leather skirt that just came down to her inner thighs, and her legs had sexy, knee-high boots of the same studded material.

Tris was right next to her, and I almost didn’t recognize the succubus.

The Sister of Sloth had a silver tiara with my sigil nestled into her brown locks, and her hair flowed down her face like a cascade. Her perky breasts were covered only by what could only be described as a bikini of fur that held on for dear life with a leather strap on the back. An equally furry patch of fabric covered her nether regions. Tris also donned brown leather gauntlets and boots on her appendages, each one adorned with a tuft of light brown fur.

“I look fucking hot, don’t I?” Tris whistled. “Although, Todd won’t stop giving me shit about having ‘boots with the fur.’”

“You look beyond hot,” I whistled. “You all do.”

“No compliments for the Toddster, bro?” the imp interjected as he walked over and slapped my leg.

I looked down at the imp and raised my eyebrow curiously.

Todd looked exactly the same. His skin was still the same bright red color, he still had his stubby black horns, dark, beady eyes, and the bird’s nest of thin, wiry blond hair he always had.

“Oh, you look badass, too,” I lied. “What, uh--what exactly changed?”

“You’ll never believe it, bro,” Todd giggled as he motioned for me to come in closer. “Whatever you did to me turned my schlong into a schlongisborg. It’s like, five times the size it used to be. Now, my woman of destiny will have no choice but to marvel at my tallywacker in awe, bro!”

“So … it worked?” I questioned.

“It fucking worked, bro!” Todd cackled. “Demon Lord Todd is gonna be splittin’ bitches like they’re logs, Jakey.”

“Glad to hear,” I chuckled and slightly gagged.

“Splitting bitches?” I heard Ira joke from behind me. “Are we talking about Jacob’s hog of a cock again? That warhammer does some seriously delicious damage to my pussy.”

The Sister of Wrath was wearing what could only be described as a cross between leather armor and bondage gear. Straps of black snakeskin leather were crisscrossed all around her body and covered up all of her intimate areas. However, while they left the best bits to the imagination, the succubus looked like she could burst through the seams at any second. Ira’s horns had also now grown out of her head in an upward fashion to form a forked shape above her head.

Meanwhile, Invidia somehow looked even more goth than before. Her chest was covered with black chainmail and strategically placed so the bottoms of her massive breasts hung out alluringly. Vidia was wearing thigh-high leather boots that had metal rings around the upper section, and underneath her chainmail she wore a see-through, sheer black shirt.

I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw her hands and noticed she was wearing fingerless gauntlets.

“What’s so funny?” she questioned as her dark lips moved into a frown.

“Nothing at all,” I joked. “Even as a Demon Lord, you’re keeping up your aesthetic.”

“I have an image to uphold,” Vidia sighed. “Not that I give a fuck about what any lame-os think of me in the first place. I just care about what you think of me.”

“You look beautiful,” I chuckled. “I love the outfit.”

“Thank you.” Invidia actually blushed a bit, and then she turned her dark eyes away from me.”

“The ceremony was a resounding success, Jacob,” Superbia announced as she stepped through the crowd.

The succubus madame seemed to have the most dramatic transformation of all. Two sharp, golden earrings hung down past the border of her red locks, each one bearing my sigil. On Sia’s chest sat a singular, one-piece golden plate that acted as both a pauldron and a choker. It shimmered under the lights of the castle as I recognized the engravings etched into its likeness.

Inferoglyphs.

Underneath the elegant choker, Superbia’s outfit was basic, a piece of red fabric tied around her breasts and a red loincloth that hung down just far enough to leave something to the imagination.

“I’ll say,” I whistled and looked over all the succubi, “how do you guys feel? Because you look royal as fuck.”

“You’ll be happy to know that the effects of the ceremony were not just superficial,” Superbia reassured me. “Gula, would you like to show him?”

“Gladly,” the Sister of Gluttony agreed as she stepped forward and summoned red Hellfire into her hands.

Suddenly, her double-sided battle axe appeared in her hand. But it wasn’t the one she normally wielded. The head of this axe was nearly five times the size of the woman’s head, and it was patterned intricately with inferoglyphs and etchings of what appeared to be humanoid figures fighting. Upon closer inspection, I realized what I was looking at.

The images on her axe were of us. I could clearly make out my first fight with Azazel in the graveyard, our duel with Uriel out in the desert, and even the final showdown with the King of the Fourth Circle in the courtyard of his castle.

To top it all off, Gula’s axe was intensely lit with a mixture of red and silver Hellfire.

“My weapons were upgraded, too,” Ira mused as she stepped forward.

The Sister of Wrath threw out her hands to the side of her body, and instantly her morning star appeared with a flash of flames. The spikes of the weapon were now shooting out jaggedly in an array of sizes, and the point at the tip of the weapon was nearly as thick as the barrel of a gun. Ira held it out in front of her, aimed the tip at me, and then giggled.

“You might wanna throw up some purple fire,” she warned. “Unless you want to be in a world of hurt and burns and scabs and … you know what? I’m getting hot and bothered thinking about it, so just throw up your shield, will ya?”

“Why would I need to--” I started, but then I gasped with shock.

A huge burst of Hellfire sprang forth from the tip of Ira’s morning star like a fucking flamethrower, and I was just able to get up a wall of violet flames before the attack was upon me.

Ira cackled with glee as she held the attack for a solid minute and then deactivated her weapon.

“It’s ten times hotter than our usual Hellfire,” she explained and bounced up and down. “I’ve already tested it on my sub.”

“Huh,” I observed as I looked at the singe marks on the ceiling and floor of the living room.

“That’s not all, though!” the Sister of Wrath continued. “Watch this.”

Ira held out her right hand once more and grimaced as the tip of her radial bone poked out of her wrist. A few seconds later, the succubus was holding the base of the bone like a club, and then she ran a flaming red hand across it. As she did so, a flaming tail appeared from the tip of the bone. The fire started off as a deep red, but then slowly moved up the heat scale as it traveled further away from the hilt. The fire at the end of the weapon shimmered white-hot, and I could feel its intensity from all the way over here.

Ira deactivated her whip, and Todd helpfully whistled the “game-over” tune from Castlevania.

“What?” he asked when I shot him a puzzled look. “You know you were thinking it too, bro! But Crazy Eyes doesn’t even have the coolest upgrade of the bunch. Show him, Slothy!”

I looked over at Tris, and she grinned ear to ear. The Sister of Sloth held out her hands, summoned red Hellfire into them, and then brought forth two massive, oversized Tommy guns. She cocked them underneath her fur-covered arms as she closed one eye and made shooting sounds with her mouth.

“These things are so much better than the pistols I had,” she noted. “I can shoot off, like, ten times the ammo now. This is gonna make fighting soooo much easier.”

“Glad to see Cheech and Chong got upgraded,” I mused, but the brunette just gave me a strange look.

“Oh, these aren’t Cheech and Chong,” she corrected. “I named these bad boys Harold and Kumar.”

“My suggestion!” Todd interjected.

“Of course it was,” I said as I shook my head with amusement. “Still pretty badass, though.”

“My polearm has been powered-up, as well,” Cupiditas interjected as she held the weapon out in front of her body.

The succubus summoned red flames into her hand and then sent them spreading across the polearm. As soon as the spell hit the tip of the weapon, the spade split apart like a fan and revealed several curved piercing mechanisms.

“Fucking nice,” I whistled. “What about you, Invidia? Anything badass happen with that dagger of yours?”

“Not really,” the gothic succubus sighed. “It just grew a second side and started glowing with green Hellfire. Nothing special.”

“Sister … ” Libidine offered as she stepped toward the dark-haired woman. “I believe your dagger may be like Aruna’s chakram.”

“Crikey!” Todd exclaimed in a horrific Australian accent. “Elvira’s got a boomerang.”

“Throw it at me, Invidia,” Sia commanded. “Throw it at me and then use your telekinetic flame to call it back.”

“But Superbia … ” the dark-haired beauty gasped. “I’ve never used green Hellfire before. Only red and silver.”

“It’s easy,” I explained. “Just think of something that makes you disgusted.”

“That should be easy,” Todd snickered. “Think about how Weezer did that cover of the Green Day song. I totally think it’s better than the original, you know.”

Invidia’s hands balled up into fists as she made a gagging expression.

“We don’t speak of that,” she warned.

“Oh come on, Elvira,” the imp continued to prod, “it’s soooo much better. Billie Joe Armstrong is overrated, anyways.”

Without warning, Invidia snatched up her dagger and flung it at Todd like a throwing star. It cut through the air like a runaway buzz saw before it halted, still in midair, a few inches from the imp’s face.

“You were saying?” the succubus questioned as her right hand shimmered with emerald fire.

“I was just trying to motivate you, Elvira,” the imp admitted. “You, uh, can totally take the deadly knife away now.”

Invidia pulled her glowing hand back toward her body, and the enchanted dagger followed suit. She snatched it up with her other hand, twirled it once, and then placed it back in its holster.

“That’s amazing,” I observed, and then pointed between Liby and Sia. “Didn’t you get any cool new weapons?”

“Neither of us really used weapons to begin with,” Libidine shrugged, “so there was nothing to upgrade.”

“Nonsense,” Superbia protested. “If the ceremony truly worked, which it appears that it did, then we should be granted the superior powers of a Demon Lord. Perhaps our upgrades came through our magic?”

“There is only one way to find out, Sister.” Libidine smiled coyly as she pointed to a nearby conference table. “Jacob, how much do you like that table over there?”

“It’s a table,” I chuckled and shrugged. “I can’t say I’ll miss it too much if it were to—”

Before the full sentence was even out of my mouth, Libidine’s hands lit up with roaring Hellfire. Although it appeared to be the same incendiary flames the succubus normally used, sparks of the fire danced off her fingertips as if the inferno was unstable.

Libidine hauled back her right hand, brought it forward, and then unleashed a massive ball of flames directly into the wooden table.

It didn’t even get a chance to ignite. Instead, the blast of fire turned the table into ash instantly. Tiny particles of charred remains floated around the room as we all stared in awe.

“Damn, Lib,” Todd whistled. “What did the poor thing ever do to you?”

“What about your hatred Hellfire?” Superbia questioned with a hint of awe in her voice.

Libidine snapped her fingers, and the Hellfire in her hand turned from a deep red to a vibrant yellow. The Sister of Lust tossed a handful of yellow daggers into the pile of ash in front of her, but nothing seemed to happen.

“Huh,” she sighed. “Maybe that power wasn’t--”

The dark-haired woman’s words were cut off when a shockwave rang out from the daggers and knocked us all onto our asses.

As we pulled ourselves back up to our feet, Libidine looked completely over the moon.

“Impact spikes,” I mused with a laugh. “Who would have thunk it?”

“Certainly not me,” Liby giggled, “but this opens up all sorts of new possibilities for my combat!”

“I can’t wait to see it in action,” I mused. “Badass, as usual.”

“What about you, Superbia?” Cupi spoke up. “Have your powers increased, as well?”

Sia brushed a bit of dust off her shoulder, shook her head, and sighed.

“I don’t know what could possibly be powered up,” she admitted. “Most of my powers are not offensive.”

“Nonsense!” I retorted. “Your black Hellfire has gotten us out of more jams that I could have imagined. Hell, when we were first starting out with the whole ‘demon hunting’ shtick, having you around to weaken the bastards with your magic was a necessity.”

“What about now?” she questioned sassily.

“Now, you’re just another badass cog in the machine that is King Ralston’s loyal Demon Lords,” I chuckled.

“Brooooooo,” Todd gasped. “We totally gotta get matching shirts with those names on ‘em. I totally know a guy who could do it, too.”

“The same guy who made you your ‘Higher Than a Giraffe’s Sack’ shirt?” I groaned. “The one with the stoned giraffe wearing a reggae hat?”

“The one and only,” the imp snickered. “He could probably get us them in like, two or three weeks tops, and for the excellent deal of fifty bucks a shirt!”

“That’s … that’s a terrible deal,” Sia explained. “I’d even go so far as to say it’s a rip off.”

“The Toddster demands quality,” Todd scoffed and crossed his arms, “and quality ain’t cheap, Strawberry Shortcake.”

“Indeed,” Sia said with a roll of her eyes.

“Well?” Libidine prodded. “Go on, Sister. Let’s see what your black magic can do now that you are a Demon Lord.”

“Now, now, Libidine,” the redhead clicked her tongue, “haven’t I taught you anything about patience?”

Sia summoned her black Hellfire into her hands, took aim at another nearby table, and then caught it in her spell. As she raised it up into the air, there was a loud groaning sound emitting from the wood. Suddenly, the sound grew larger, and the legs on the table began to twist and contort as it vibrated faster and faster.

“Are you doing that, Superbia?” Tris gasped.

“I-I am!” The Sister of Pride grinned. “I’m controlling what happens to the table inside of my spell. Observe.”

Sia squinted her eyes, focused, and then watched as all four legs snapped off their bases. The succubus released her spell, and the heap of furniture crashed to the stony ground.

“You need to teach me that, right away,” Ira observed gleefully. “That sorta thing could open up all sorts of new avenues for me to play with myself. Pun intended.”

“Oh boy,” Todd whispered to me, “what ever happened to the good ‘ol french tickler and whip? Isn’t that enough for whatever crazy shit she’s got goin’ on in the bedroom?”

“Todd,” I mused, “you have absolutely no idea what she’s capable of.”

“And I intend to keep it that way, bro,” the imp reassured me. “What a consenting demon does with her sadomasochist other half in the privacy of her own castle is totally not my business. Also, those are words I never thought I’d have to say in my entire life.”

“We’re all going through a lot of firsts, Todd,” Liby dismissed, “for example, this is the first time I’ve ever been in such formal clothing and armor. I feel like a Demon Princess.”

“No,” I reminded her, “you are my lover. If anything, that makes you a Demon Queen.”

“Don’t let Eligor hear you say that,” Cupi interjected. “Titles are really damn important down here. If you thought turning us into Demon Lords was bad, just try to show us off as your ‘Demon Queens.’ I think some of the powers that be would try to kill us on the spot for even thinking that way.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I mused as I wrapped my arms around Libidine and Sia’s waists. “Here in the Fourth Circle, you guys are my Queens.”

“Awwww, thanks, Jakey,” Todd sniffled. “No homo, though.”

“No homo,” I laughed as I agreed with the imp.

“We should call the Shades,” Cupi suggested. “If we go out to the coliseum, we could test out our new powers and weapons on them. Who better to act as test dummies than immortal spirits of the damned?”

“That’s not a terrible idea.” I nodded. “Maybe we should go and find--”

Before I could finish my sentence, there was a loud, muffled bang off in the distance. The entire castle seemed to shake violently as if it were under siege from a powerful earthquake, and then instantly returned to normal.

The second it did, however, there was the distinct sound of brimstone collapsing onto the ground.

“What the fuck was that?” Ira demanded.

“I dunno,” I admitted, “but it came from the northwest quarters of the castle.”

“Mephisto!” Liby gasped. “That’s where Mephisto’s quarters are located!”

I drew the Unhallowed Sword from my belt and took off in the direction of the Master of Whispers, with my posse right behind me.

When we finally arrived at the northwest quadrant of my castle, we saw what we’d feared.

The entire roof and eastern side of the wall had been destroyed. Broken bits of brimstone littered Mephisto’s room like a toppled Jenga tower, and the Master of Whispers himself was trapped underneath a pile of rubble, with his hand being the only part we could see.

A horrific, human-like shriek rang out from above, and my eyes darted up to see a figure looking down on us from the remnants of the roof.

“What the fuck … ” I groaned as I took in what I was seeing.

The creature was nearly six feet tall and covered with dark black fur. His chest was thick and bulky like that of a football player’s, and he stood leaning against his muscular arms. The creature’s hind end was much more narrow and tiny, but I could still see razor-sharp claws attached to its feet. This thing’s face was flat against the bushy, red-and-black fur of his head, and I seriously wondered if he even had a nose at all.

Then it smiled at us.

The monster grinned, and his pearly white fangs stood out like a speck of blood in a pile of snow.

“That’s a fucking Lakhey, bro,” Todd muttered. “I totally didn’t think they were real.”

Shit. There was no false alarm this time.

We were under attack.

Chapter 11

“What are we dealing with here, Todd?” I asked the imp as I stared down our assailant. “You said you knew what this thing was.”

“It’s a Lakhey, bro,” Todd explained. “An ape demon thing from Nipple.”

“Nepal,” Superbia corrected.

“Right,” the imp nodded, “the Nipplese think they’re protectors, but all the shit I’ve watched talks about how that’s all just a front so they can eat the locals without resistance. Poor Nipplese … ”

“Too bad for you, I no pretend now!” the Lakhey snarled in a deep, stupid voice. “I paid to kill Mephisto, and you try and stop me. Now, Lakhey kill you!”

The ape demon somersaulted over the edge of the hole in the roof, caught the ledge with his hands, and then used his momentum to swing backward. The claws on his feet dug into the bricks in the ceiling, and the monster began to run along the roof, completely upside down.

“Mongo’s on the move!” Todd exclaimed.

“Light him up!” I commanded.

Instantly, the room was illuminated by a combination of red, yellow, blue, and silver Hellfire. The flaming magic shot across the room at breakneck speed, but the Lakhey was too agile.

Still upside down, he twirled, spun, and sidestepped our attacks as if they had come at him in slow motion. All the while, his lanky arms dragged behind his body like elegant ribbons.

Elegant, hairy ribbons.

“They’re dancing demons, bro,” Todd explained. “I always thought it meant they did like, the Macaraena or some shit like that, but I guess being swift and agile fighters makes waaaay more sense.”

“Sia,” I ordered as the Lakhey continued to dodge our attacks, “go make sure Mephisto is alright. The rest of us will handle this asshole.”

“Jacob,” Cupi gasped as she watched the Lakhey flip down onto the floor about fifty feet away from us, “this guy is one of the most feared assassins known to Demonkind. How are we supposed to take him on?”

“That right,” the monkey-man announced proudly as he beat his chest. “Lakhey number one!”

“Pffffft,” I guffawed at his comment. “Tell me, Mr. Lakhey … are you a Demon Lord?”

“It not matter,” the Lakhey retorted. “Me am strongest, fastest, most powerful killer. Puny succubi no match for me.”

“That’s the thing … ” I grinned and looked around at my friends. “You’re not dealing with succubi any more. You must have a death wish, because you just ran straight into a building with a Demon King and not one, not two, but eight Demon Lords.”

The cocky look on the Lakhey’s face completely disappeared, replaced with a twinge of fear. However, he still tried to play it cool.

“You not know what Lakhey capable of!” he demanded angrily. “I kill hundreds of dozens of demons and humans. Now, I kill you too!”

“Man,” Todd whistled. “This guy may look like King Kong’s trailer-park cousin, but he’s a fucking idiot. Permission to cock-slap him around, Jakey?”

“Kick his ass, Todd,” I said with a sly nod.

“Imp hurt Lakhey?” the assassin chuckled. “There no way--”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Todd surrounded himself with black Hellfire, rose up into the air, and shot over to his enemy like a bullet. There was a spray of crimson mist as Todd hit the fucker with his claws, and the Lakhey’s head whipped back around with five massive gashes across his face.

“Imp hurt Lakhey!” he roared with rage. “Now imp get crushed like bug!”

“Should we help him?” Cupi asked.

“Not yet,” I reassured her. “I want to see how powerful he is now.”

The demon ape lashed out at the swooping imp with his ribbon-like arms and razor-sharp fangs, but all he caught was air.

Finally, Todd’s hand lit up with silver Hellfire.

That was definitely new.

“Check it out, Jakey!” the imp giggled as he dodged the Lakhey’s blows. “Now, it’s gonna look like I’m getting a handjob from Rosie the Robot!”

I honestly didn’t know if that was supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing. All I wanted to know was how Todd’s silver spell was going to be different than mine or Invidia’s.

It didn’t take long to find out.

As the imp swooped down at the Lakhey, he tossed a ball of the glowing fire directly into its face.

The demon stumbled back for a moment, and then his beady eyes turned a dark shade of red. The Lakhey tried to take another swipe at Todd, but his timing was way off. Punches were missing the imp by a mile, and they all looked like they were moving in slow motion. Almost as if …

No fucking way.

“Todd?” I gasped. “Did you just insta-stone that guy?”

The imp floated down above the assassin’s head and cackled as he watched the ape demon try in vain to grab him.

“Sure as fuck did, bro,” he confirmed. “How fucking cool is that?”

“Please use that spell on me!” Tris begged. “Like, pleassssseee. An even easier way to get high? Sign me up.”

“That’s nothing, bro,” Todd announced, and then he summoned red Hellfire into his hand. “Watch this. The Toddster’s fire has gotten a little more juice, too.”

The Lakhey sluggishly tried to reach up for the imp once more, but his actions were cut short by the basketball-sized fireball that hit him in the face. He screamed as he fell back onto his ass and slapped at the flames furiously.

“Holy shit, bro,” Todd whistled. “Did I just take out the terror of Nipple all on my own?”

“I knew you could do it.” I smiled. “You’re a fucking Demon Lord now.”

“Damn it,” Ira sighed. “Those wounds look like they’re going to be fatal. I kinda wanted a chance to play around with him for a bit.”

“You’ll get that chance,” I confirmed and turned over to see what Sia was doing.

The redheaded madame now had Mephisto out of the rubble and was healing him with her warm, golden spell.

“Superbia!” I commanded. “When you get a chance, can you—”

Sia already understood what I was getting at, and she smiled devilishly at the prospect. Then she extended her shimmering hand toward the Lakhey and blasted him with her healing spell from all the way across the room.

That was definitely new.

The fire on the Lakhey’s face instantly went out, and his ugly mug returned to its original state. He was totally confused by what was going on, but he sprang to his feet anyways.

“What the Hell you do?” he demanded. “Lakhey thought--”

Without warning, the glowing, green, double-sided dagger of Invidia shot across the room and stabbed the bastard in the neck.

It took him a second to process what had just happened, but then his eyes went wide as the enchanted weapon was called back to its owner. As soon as the blade was yanked out of his neck, a geyser of blackish-red blood erupted from the wound.

However, he didn’t even have enough time to die.

Invidia dashed over to the fucker, hit him with silver Hellfire, and separated his soul from his body. Before the Lakhey’s empty shell could collapse, Invidia caught her blade, flipped it around, and then stabbed it repeatedly into the demon ape’s chest. Then she hit him with another blast of silver, and his soul returned.

The Lakhey tried to let out a gasp of pain, but his punctured lungs wouldn’t allow it. Instead, his eyes went wide as he crumpled to the ground and began to gasp for air as he bled out.

“Shit, bro,” Todd whistled. “Remind me to never insult Elvira’s taste in music like, ever again.”

We still weren’t done here. I wanted to see what each and every one of my new Demon Lords were capable of. So, I nodded to Sia, and she responded with another spray of golden flames.

“W-Why you do this?” the Lakhey demanded as he was reanimated. “Why you no let me die?”

“You wanna die?” I mocked. “I thought you were supposed to be a powerful demon assassin? Tris, your turn to show him your power.”

“Hell to the yeah!” The Sister of Sloth lazily skipped toward the Lakhey and unleashed a flurry of bullets from Harold and Kumar. The fire-encased projectiles shot across the room like a swarm of angry hornets, intent on tearing their target to shreds.

The Lakhey attempted to jump up out of the way of the incoming assault, but he wasn’t anywhere near fast enough.

Gore sprayed across the floor of Mephisto’s quarters as the demon ape was riddled with the enchanted bullets. His eyes rolled back in his head, and then his swiss-cheese of a torso landed in the pile of his own viscera with a wet plop.

“Well crap,” Tris sighed. “I think I may have actually killed him. Easy mode. I can’t believe how much more powerful I am now.”

“Not a problem.” I shrugged. “Now would be a good time to see if your necromancy powers have gotten stronger.”

“Touché, my dude,” the brunette agreed, “touché.”

Tristitia opened up her palm, summoned forth orange Hellfire, and then surrounded the Lakhey’s remains with its life-giving shimmer.

Suddenly, the demon’s eyes shot open. He frantically looked down at what was left of his torso and let out a scream of horror.

“Don’t worry,” I reassured the assassin, “Sia can fix you all up.”

“N-No!” the assassin pleaded. “Me no wan--”

Sia’s spell surrounded the Lakhey’s body, and his was quickly restored to full health.

This time, however, he wasn’t going to wait around for us to attack. He made a running start for the hole in the ceiling he’d entered from, and his arms dangled behind him as he ran. Once he got close enough, the demon ape sprang up into the air, extended out his hands …

And was then hit with a blast of Cupi’s freezing spell.

The blue Hellfire struck the Lakhey’s arms with its icy embrace and turned them completely into ice. His appendages smashed into the side of the wall and then shattered into a million pieces. With nothing left to grab with, he smacked into the brimstone face-first and tumbled downward.

Right into Cupi’s polearm.

The blade of the weapon fanned out as it expanded through his chest. Then, without missing a beat, Cupi spun around and used her weapon like a makeshift catapult. She slammed the bleeding demon into the walls repeatedly, all while he tried in vain to pull himself off the polearm.

Finally, Cupi stepped up to the bastard, summoned blue flames into her hand, and froze his right leg. Next, she spun around acrobatically and struck the frozen appendage with the blunt end of her weapon.

The Lakhey’s leg exploded into a mess of ice and gore, and he fell down onto his knees.

Gula swooped in with her massive battle axe, hauled it back, and then lopped off the fucker’s head.

“That’s gonna be waaaay harder to fix, bro,” Todd observed. “Even if you get it back to life, it’s gonna be all Evil Dead up in here.”

“I think I can help him,” Superbia said from the other side of the room. “My healing powers are so much stronger now. As long as his head is close to his body, I think they’ll re-fuse. Let’s try it.”

“We have all gone Super Saiyan,” the imp noted as he flew over and moved the Lakhey’s head closer to its neck. “Dragonball powers, unite!”

Sia blasted the corpse with her healing spell, and all of the wounds magically sewed themselves shut. Then Tris reanimated the corpse with a flash of orange.

“Stop!” the Lakhey pleaded. “Me beg you!”

“You had your chance,” I growled. “You should have thought of that shit before you came into my domain and tried to hurt the people I care about.”

The ape demon didn’t even get a chance to respond before Ira threw the tail of her flaming whip around the ape’s leg and then dragged him across the rocky castle ground violently.

As he was dragged, the Lakhey attempted to shoot off some sort of ectoplasmic substance from his mouth. However, his head was bouncing against the brimstone so harshly he couldn’t get a good shot. Instead, his spray hit the ceiling of the castle and melted the brimstone with a hiss.

“Honey, you call that acid?” Ira mocked and summoned turquoise hellfire into her hand. “How pathetic. Looks like someone needs to get punished!”

Then the succubus reached back and launched a handful of her own acidic Hellfire into the Lakhey’s face.

He grabbed his head and howled as the flesh was seared from his face, and then he was tossed into the air with a flick of Ira’s wrist. As he came loose from the whip’s grasp, Ira called forth her morning star, pointed the tip at the Lakhey, and blasted him with the hottest Hellfire known to demons.

The demon ape squealed as his fur was singed off his body and his flesh was seared from his bones. When the spell finally subsided, his charred remains landed on the ground of the castle with a dull thud.

Then Tris hit him with just enough juice to barely bring him back to life.

“Try to heal that, sister,” Ira chuckled to Superbia.

“Let’s see what I can do,” Superbia laughed. Then the succubus madame strutted over so she was in front of the Lakhey and covered him with her healing spell.

“Damn!” Ira chucked when the demon assassin’s flesh began to reform. “I thought that would have done it, he was just bones.”

“Wow, Sia,” I said. “Your new healing is incredibly powerful.”

“Thanks!” the redheaded madam laughed. “But let’s see what I can do if I decide to hurt someone.”

Then, the second the demon was recovered, Sia hit him with a blast of her black Hellfire.

She raised the Lakhey up into the air, and he flailed about as he struggled to breathe.

That was far from the worst part.

Superbia began to concentrate with a furrowed brow, and then we heard it.

Pop.

The Lakhey’s right arm was telekinetically bent backwards at the elbow, and his bone shot out through the skin like it was made of rubber. Next, Sia used her powers to crumple up the demons legs behind him like he was stuck in a magic trash compactor, and then she stretched his limbs out until his ankles were touching the back of his head.

Pop.

“Please stop!” the Lakhey begged. “Just let me die!”

“You heard the man.” I shrugged at Sia.

Superbia let out a slight giggle as she reached up, focused in on her black magic, and forced the fucker’s head to whip around one-hundred and eighty degrees.

There was a loud snap as the fucker’s neck was broken, and he went limp.

In one simultaneous motion, Sia tossed the lifeless body onto the floor and covered it with a healing spell at the same time.

Tris threw in her necromantic fire, and the Lakhey was back on his feet in no time.

“You crazy!” the Lakhey gasped. “King Ralston is most evil king!”

“Don’t you forget it,” I growled and nodded at Libidine. “You don’t come into the Fourth Circle and try to bring down its King. Only I’m crazy enough to do that.”

The Lakhey opened up its mouth to try and spray its ectoplasm, but his aim was disrupted by Libidne’s yellow spikes stabbing into the ground. They exploded into a dozen miniature shockwaves, and I swore the entire foundation of the castle was shaken.

The demon ape was knocked back onto his ass as his attack sprayed haphazardly across the room. Libidine was on him in a flash as she summoned two yellow spikes into her hands.

The succubus stabbed both spikes down onto the Lakhey’s shoulders and then into the ground below. He shrieked in agony, but there was nothing else the fucker could do. He was pinned down by enchanted Hellfire magic.

So much for being a “great assassin.” Well, maybe he was, but my crew had just leveled up, and even Todd could take this guy out.

“Now that the fun and games are over,” I growled as I approached the downed demon. “Who the fuck sent you?”

The Lakhey shook his head angrily. These paranormal assassins were all the same. They wouldn’t break their sacred code, even if it meant death.

“Do you want me to get out my toys?” Ira asked in an overly-excited tone.

“He won’t talk,” Cupi sighed. “Remember what Aruna says? An assassin will die before they break their code.”

“Oh, that’s exactly what he’s going to do,” I hissed, “it’s just the amount of times he comes back that’s up for debate.”

“Come on, you damn dirty ape,” Todd growled as he landed beside us. “I’ve got a million different Planet of the Apes references, and they’re all ruined if this dude isn’t engaging.”

That is not all that has been ruined, Mephisto’s telekinetic voice spoke up from behind us. Look at what this filth has done to my quarters. This will take weeks to rebuild.

I turned around to see the tall, orange form of the Demon Lord floating toward us with a look of pure rage on his face. His body was covered with dust and bits of debris from the pile of stone he’d been buried under, but he looked mostly unharmed.

“Nonsense, Mephisto,” Sia reassured him. “Once we deal with this assassin, I can heal up the room, just like I healed you up.”

I can see why King Ralston likes having you around, the orange-skinned demon mused.

“So, what’s the dealio, Jakey?” Todd growled and held out his claws. “Can we waste this jabroni for good now, or what?”

“If he’s not gonna talk, we don’t really have another choice.” I shrugged.

“What else do we need to know?” Cupi pondered aloud. “He was sent by one of our enemies, and he attacked one of your Demon Lords in your domain. Whoever sent him should have known this was a suicide mission.”

“That’s why I want to know who sent him,” I reminded the Sister of Greed. “Whoever it was, they’re getting a bit too aggressive for my liking, and we need to nip them in the bud before they get any bolder.”

“Phrasing, bro,” Todd said as he cleared his throat. “I mean, unless they’re into that kinda stuff. In which case, no homo.”

“Let me try,” Libidine offered. “There are other ways to persuade someone to do your bidding.”

The Sister of Lust squatted down so she was level with the Lakhey’s eyes, and then her own violet pupils began to glow with an equal shade of purple Hellfire.

“I thought that only worked on humans?” I questioned.

“Usually, that’s true,” the succubus sighed, “but it’s worth a shot, no? It’s either this, or we kill him right here and now.”

Couldn’t argue with that.

I nodded, and then Libidine stared deeply into the Lakhey’s eyes.

Suddenly, his body went rigid like a statue, and then his pupils began to dilate and contract like he was having an epileptic seizure.

Holy fuck, it was working.

Liby could telepathically control other demons now.

“Sister!” Cupi gasped. “How is this--”

“The ceremony, Cupiditas,” Superbia explained. “It appears Sister Libidine can now control demons rather than just human beings.”

“Who sent you?” Liby asked in a firm but calm tone.

The ape demon cocked his head curiously, almost as if he were analyzing her question. Then his mouth dropped open, and he began to talk.

“The big demon,” he explained in his typical dumb tone. “Kegg.”

Son of a bitch.

Everyone in the group looked at each other uneasily as the revelation hit us. We had thought we could still take Beelzebub’s Demon Lord by surprise if we acted quick enough, but now it was apparent we were already on his radar.

“Tell him to return to his master,” I instructed. “Have him tell Kegg he was successful, and that we’re all dead. That should at least buy us some time to regroup.”

Libidine nodded, but she kept her eyes locked firmly onto the Lakhey.

“You will go back to Kegg and tell him we are all dead,” she reiterated. “Then you will return to your home base or wherever it is you came from, and you will tell the rest of your assassin friends that Beelzebub, Baphomet, and Gressil refused to pay you for your service.”

“I like where this is going,” Ira said coyly.

“I’m not following,” Tris whispered loud enough for all of us to hear.

“It’s simple, Slothy,” Todd whispered inconspicuously back. “He tells all his buddies he was stiffed by the Three Stooges, and then none of the other badass assassins want to work for them any more. Which means things are gonna get a lot more quiet down here. At least for us.”

The Lakhey nodded in agreement, and then the spell was broken. He looked around at us with horror in his eyes, but then he shook his head vigorously.

The demon monkey stood up, still in a trance-like state, and gave us one final look before he turned around, ran over to the wall, and scurried up the bricks as if they weren’t even there. He flipped over the edge of the wall, and then the Lakhey was gone.

I am surprised, Mephisto admitted. It’s not like a Demon King to let his enemies escape. Particularly ones who have committed such a heinous act.

“Don’t worry,” I promised the Master of Whispers, “I’m not getting soft on you. I’m just really, reallly fucking tired of getting attacked by demon-assassins on our own turf.”

Welcome to Hell, my King, Mephisto mused. If I recall correctly, Azazel had to deal with assassins quite frequently. Then again, the times have changed. I’ve been locked up for thousands of years, so what do I know?

“A lot,” I chuckled. “You still know a fuckton more about this stuff than we do.”

“What happens now?” Cupi sighed as she inspected the damage done to the building.

“Now?” I retorted. “We rebuild. And then, we go and kill this fucker Kegg once and for all.”

Chapter 12

“Look, bro,” Todd explained cautiously as we browsed through the armory of my castle, “I’m all for just goin’ in and, ya know, ‘Leroy Jekins-ing’ and all that. But fighting Kegg on his own turf? That’s like, no bueno.”

“It’s almost as stupid as sending a paranormal assassin into another Demon King’s territory to try and kill him,” I said a little too on-the-nose. “That’s exactly why it will work. Besides, we’ll have the element of surprise on our side.”

As I spoke with the imp, I began suiting up in my heavy armor.

This thing had become my go-to outfit here in Hell, and not just because it looked badass. It also had a bit of sentimental value. It was the same armor I’d snatched from the Coliseum in the village of Tybalt, when I’d killed the bird demon and met Eligor for the first time. It was also the armor I’d been wearing when I brought down Azazel once and for all.

Ariel had made some slight modifications to the armor, but it was still nearly identical to the one I put on in that locker room all those months ago.

The breastplate now bore my sigil, and the goat’s head that appeared on my dagger was engraved into the chest and then filled in with molten gold. This meant the sigil shined brighter than anything else on the suit and made sure my enemies knew who they were dealing with.

The armor originally came with a helmet and flip-down visor, but I almost never wore the thing. It constricted my vision, didn’t allow me to turn my head, and worst of all… It made me strongly aware of my own breath. The large metal gauntlets, silver boots, and plated pauldrons more than made up for the lack of style.

It was an outfit I reserved only for special occasions, such as leading my forces into battle or trying to show off my power at a diplomatic meeting.

However, in this case, killing one of Beelzebub’s Demon Lords was also a pretty fucking special occasion.

I’d instructed Daniel to stay here and supervise Mephisto while his quarters were being rebuilt. I’d also told the succubi who weren’t coming along on this mission to remain in the Fourth Circle, just in case our enemies tried anything fishy again.

After all, it’d be just like Beelzebub to strike while we were away.

“I hope you’re right about taking him by surprise,” Cupi explained as she collapsed her polearm, spun it around playfully, and then attached it to the clasp on her back. “Kegg is a madman. If we give him even the smallest amount of time to prepare for us, he will find a way to tear us to shreds.”

“I still don’t see what’s so bad about this asshole.” I shrugged as I pulled on one of my gauntlets. “He’s just a Demon Lord. We’ve faced down not one, but two Demon Kings and lived to tell the tale.”

“That’s the thing, though,” the blonde succubus sighed, “Beelzebub’s Demon Lords are on a different level than Azazel’s ever were.”

“I second that,” Superbia added with a nod. “The former King of the Fourth Circle wanted subservients who were, well, subservient.”

“I always figured Azazel was the type of dude to surround himself with brown nosers,” Todd scoffed.

“Precisely,” the redhead confirmed as she reached out for a small dagger on the wall. “Beelzebub, on the other hand, does no such thing. He made sure that he found the demons who were the cruelest, most cunning warriors out there. That’s why he was given the Circle immediately next to Lucifer, because of his raw power. Abaddon, Gressil, and Baphomet were the next three strongest Demon Kings, so they have the next three Circles.”

“Well,” I laughed in a “I’m fucked” tone, “I guess we picked a hell of a group to piss off, then. Quite literally every single one of the Demon Kings above Azazel are working together to try and kill us.”

“Not all of ‘em, Jakey,” Todd reminded me with a pat on the back, “Abadabadoo is working by himself to kill us.”

“Thanks, Todd,” I couldn’t help but smile at the imp. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“Don’t mention it, Jakey.” The imp grinned as he puffed out his chest and tapped his newly-regenerated horns. “Speaking of ‘feeling better,’ thanks for getting me all horny again, Strawberry Shortcake.”

“You’re welcome,” the madame retorted cautiously with a raised eyebrow.

Todd immediately realized his gaffe, and he slapped himself on the forehead.

“Totally poor choice of words,” he laughed as he gestured to the regrown horns on his skull. “My bad. Thanks for making me horny again.”

“Are you guys actually gonna use a weapon this time?” Tris asked from her spot on a nearby bench. “Because I totally think this would go faster if you guys used weapons instead of just spells.”

“I’m considering taking something small,” Superbia admitted as she weighed one of Ariel’s custom-made daggers in her hand. “Unfortunately, we can’t all be as good of a shot as you.”

The brunette succubus just shrugged sluggishly in response.

“I do what I have to do,” she admitted. “The quicker I can kill some mofos, the quicker I can be back on the couch, smoking a blunt and watching all the crazy shit that goes down on the magic mirror.”

“What did you even do before Todd introduced you to his killer strands of weed?” I joked.

Tris looked up at the ceiling as she pondered the question and rapped on her chin curiously. She raised her finger and opened her mouth to speak, but then she paused and went back to thinking.

“I think you broke Slothy, bro,” Todd whispered.

“Me?” I laughed. “You’re the one who got her addicted to all these different kinds of the Devil’s Lettuce and changed her life forever.”

“Naaaaaah,” Todd scoffed. “You don’t ‘get addicted’ to pot, bro. We could both stop any time we wanted to. We just don’t wanna.”

“Mhmm.” I rolled my eyes at his words. “If I recall correctly, there was one point when we were first trapped down here that you locked yourself in your quarters and sobbed for like, a week straight.”

“Nope,” the imp obviously lied. “The Toddster doesn’t cry. In fact, the closest I’ve ever come is watching Russel Crowe die in Gladiator. But even then, I kept it together.”

“Please,” Cupi dismissed with a wave of her hand, “I saw real gladiators every week in the Jousts that Azazel used to hold. I’m sure they were way better than any Earth movie could portray.”

“I dunno, Cupi … ” Todd argued. “Russel Crowe is a world treasure. Just don’t let him sing. For the love of God, don’t let him sing.”

“Can we get a move on?” Tris asked impatiently. “The sooner we get there, the sooner Harold and Kumar can take care of this guy.”

The door of the armory opened, and the armored figure of Gula stepped through. The succubus was still adorned with the breastplate and skirt form from before, but it was now shining dully with the glow of Divine Light. Gula threw her hands on her hips impatiently and let out a deep sigh as she stared us down.

“Are we good to go?” she asked with a frown. “I’ve been ready for like, the last ten minutes.”

“Not all of us have badass weapons that we can pull out of thin air,” Tris retorted. “Also, I wanted to get in a power nap before we went anywhere.”

“I’m ready,” I noted as I tied the final strap on my left boot. “How about everyone else?”

“I think we’re as ready as we’ll ever be,” Cupi sighed. “Let’s go.”

“I’m still shocked you didn’t want Goldilocks coming along on his one, Jakey,” Todd admitted. “Not that I doubt all the people we got here, but she’s, like, the Neo of our group. It feels weird leaving her behind.”

“There’s no way I’m gonna risk taking her on this one,” I explained. “Didn’t you see the way she clammed up and freaked out when I just mentioned Kegg? That’s why I told her she has full control over my castle until I return. She can stay here, recharge, and strategize while we’re out kicking demon ass. Besides, Eligor will be in good company.”

“Uhhh, I’m not too sure about that,” the imp snickered, “Lib will be fine and dandy, but Elvira’s just gonna lock herself away in her room for most of the time, and I don’t even wanna know what kinda twisted, fucked up shit Crazy Eyes is gonna get into while the cat’s away.”

“Well, it’s not like we could take them all with us,” I sighed. “The boat we got from Charron only seats six, and that’s if one of them has the body mass of a chiuaua.”

“I take offense to that, bro,” Todd shot back. “I’m more of a toy poodle, thank you very much. Except when it comes to Todd numero dos. Then, I’m a fucking mastiff, Jakey.”

The six of us finished suiting up and then headed out to the River of Souls. We climbed up into the old dinghy that Charron had given to us, untied ourselves from the pier, and then pushed off toward our next adventure.

The first leg of our journey was the easiest part. We floated down the River of Souls until we finally entered a deep, dark cave filled with deadly rapids that threatened to capsize our vessel.

Of course, we’d transversed these rapids many times over, so they were less of a “threat” and more of a “minor inconvenience.”

As we came up to the swirling waters, Cupi stood up at the front of the boat, summoned blue Hellfire into her hands, and then blasted the whirlpools with her spell. The swirly water froze instantly, and then I tossed down a stream of purple Hellfire to act as our pathway across the newly iced ground.

We passed over without much fanfare, and then our boat plopped down into the swampy water of the Fifth Circle.

“Alrighty, ladies and gent,” Todd announced in an old-timey announcer’s voice, “who’s ready to become as visible as the Toddster’s old schlong?”

All five of us stared at the imp, but he didn’t even acknowledge what he’d just said. Instead, he bowed his head, closed his eyes, and stuck out his hands for us to grab.

We all followed suit, and then the imp began to concentrate.

“Be the ball … ” he muttered to himself. “Na-na-na-na-na-na … ”

Suddenly, a wave of cool air blew against my skin and caused my hair to stand on end. Then all was silent.

Todd opened his eyes, grinned, and did a little bow without breaking our human circle.

“You can thank me later,” he giggled, “preferably with some form of edibles.”

Even though we were invisible, I felt nervous traveling through the Fifth Circle. This was the domain of Baphomet, and we were pretty high up on his shit list.

It wasn’t enough that I was the sworn enemy of his ally, Beelzebub. I’d also killed his beloved pet water demon and released a bunch of his Shades from their prisons, which promptly led to a rebellion.

If there was anyone who could possibly hate me more than the King of the Eighth Circle, it was Baphomet.

My heart dropped all the way down to my knees as I saw a familiar figure soaring across the sky. It was wearing a flowing black toga on its body as it glided through the depressing gray sky of the Fifth Circle, powered by two massive, black, feathered wings. His body was completely human, complete with an exposed torso.

But his head was not. His head bore a similarity to a large goat and had horns that curved out to each side and nearly doubled the width of his noggin.

It was Baphoment.

“Fucking hell,” I whispered. “You think he’s going to see us again? He seemed to see right through your invisibility spell last time.”

“We’ll be good, bro,” Todd shot back. “Last time, I used the ‘Klaatu barada necktie’ spell. Anyone who’s ever seen Army of Darkness knows that’s not how it goes.”

“Then why did you do it?” I hissed.

“Because I couldn’t remember the last part of the spell either, bro!” the imp argued in a hushed voice. “This time, I got it right, though. Also, I’m like a mother fucking demon lord now. Know what I’m sayin’? Goat For Brains isn’t gonna see us.”

“I really fucking hope you’re right,” I noted as my eyes wandered back over to the incoming Demon King.

Baphomet passed over us nonchalantly, and I felt a massive weight lift off my chest. However, it wasn’t completely gone.

The last time we’d encountered Baphomet in the Fifth Circle, he flew over our invisible bodies just as he was doing right now. Then, when we had let our guard down, he reappeared and told us he’d already known we were in his domain.

Was he doing the same shit again? Or was Todd right, and this time the spell was working as needed?

Thankfully, Todd was right on the money.

The Demon King passed by our position two more times during the trip, but he didn’t indicate whatsoever that he knew we were there.

Finally, we arrived at the waterfall of Hellfire that separated the Fifth and Sixth Circles. I could feel its heat radiating from all the way over here, and it was sending up a literal smokescreen of steam into the sky where it touched the water.

“Perhaps we should have brought Eligor along?” Superbia suggested. “She was the one who helped us get through last time.”

“Please,” Cupi mused. “We’re more than capable of getting through. It’s nothing more than a giant wall of flames.”

The fit, blonde succubus stuck out her hand, summoned forth blue Hellfire, and then lit up the waterfall with a brilliant sapphire glow.

The red Hellfire froze in place when the freezing spell touched it, but it didn’t hold for long. Within a matter of seconds, the icy grip was obliterated into a blast of steam, and the deadly flames continued to descend.

“Fucking hell,” Cupi groaned. “I thought my new power levels would have been enough to handle that.”

“Don’t feel bad, my bodacious blonde,” Todd reassured the succubus, “lots of people get performance issues. Not me, but I’ve totally heard it’s a thing that happens.”

“Could you just use your purple Hellfire?” Sia suggested. “And then Cupi can freeze it as it comes down?”

“It’s worth a shot,” I said and then looked over at Cupi. “Ready?”

The succubus nodded in agreement and prepared to attack.

I threw up a wall of purple Hellfire directly under the cascade of fire, and the force of the impact knocked me slightly off balance. However, I didn’t fall like last time.

At least there was a slight improvement.

Cupi blasted the fire above my wall, and it instantly turned to steam at the touch of her icy spell.

More importantly, we could now see the massive green portal on the other side.

With my one free hand, I commanded the boat to push through the opening and then nearly fell over when it lurched forward. Within seconds, the deadly waterfall was behind us.

We passed through the interdimensional portal, and the world went black for a second or two. Finally, when our bodies had stopped traveling through time and space, we found ourselves staring at the desolation of the Sixth Circle.

To say this was an awful place to be in was the understatement of the century.

The entire landscape was made up of nothing but sand and dirt, with the occasional dying bush or shrub sticking out of the gritty ground. The sky was blood red, which gave everything the light touched an ominous bloody glow.

But that wasn’t even the worst part.

What the Sixth Circle lacked in natural formations it made up for with demon-made ones. All across the horizon, as far as the eye could see, stood large sarcophaguses made out of dark black brimstone. They littered the ground of the Circle, each one sealed from the outside and containing a Shade who was damned to an eternity of suffering.

And suffer they did. The inside of the tombs contained searing-hot Hellfire that exceeded the temperature of a fucking supernova.

If you fucked up and committed an act of heresy, it was into the flaming prison after you died. Forever and ever.

“I seriously fucking hate this place,” I shuddered as I took it all in. “It reminds me of a darker, more fucked-up version of the deserts near our home.”

“Your old home,” Cupi reminded me. “This is our home now.”

Our old home. I sighed as the images of our mansion back in Phoenix ran through my head. Sure, it wasn’t as badass as ruling over an entire Circle of Hell, but it had been ours. There were a lot of great memories made in that house, and I was suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia.

At least I knew that, between Jane, Oliver, and Raphael, it was in good hands.

“So, how the fuck do we find this place?” I questioned aloud.

“Eligor’s cryptic clue,” Superbia explained. “She said that, long ago, Lilith had given her a map to the Castle of the Heretic, the place where Kegg has taken up residence.”

“Sounds like a lovely place,” I joked. “What was the clue?”

“‘To find the Castle of the Heretic will require a torturous feat,’” the madame recited “‘Look to where the sundial meets the horizon, and the way of the worm will guide you.’ At least, that’s the rough translation.”

“Well, the second part’s easy,” Tris spoke up. “It’s saying we need to head east at the Dial of Despair.”

My mouth fell agape, and I shot the succubus an exasperated look.

“How did you--” I began, but Tris just shrugged.

“The ‘way of the worm’ is obviously referring to Vermis,” the brunette explained. “Remember that dude? Well, he was the protector of the Third Circle. And the only point where a sundial would touch the horizon was when it was horizontal, so either in the ‘nine o’clock’ or ‘three o’clock’ position. Which, if you look at a clock, the ‘three’ points east.”

“Holy shit, Slothy!” Todd whistled as our boat landed on the shore.

“Seriously,” Gula added, “that’s impressive. I’m proud of you, Sister.”

“What can I say?” Tris answered with a smirk. “I want to go back home. I’m gonna miss watching the dude in the First Circle on the magic mirror. He buys the same thing from the ice cream truck at the same time, every single day. A triple-scoop mint chocolate chip cone. But, no matter how many times he does it, something always goes wrong. It’s comedy gold, my friends.”

“Hey,” I chuckled, “if it gets us to Kegg quicker, I’m all for it. Where is this Dial of Despair you’re referring to?”

“It’s at the very center of the Sixth Circle,” Cupi explained as she pointed off to the horizon. “A few miles that way.”

“Then let’s get going,” I announced, and then we all stepped out of the dinghy.

Cupi, Gula, and Tris all sprouted their wings, and Todd floated into the air on his black Hellfire magic. Then Cupi and Gula swooped around behind Sia and me and lifted us into the air.

I could feel Gula’s giant breasts smooshed against my back as she lifted me, and her hard nipples were poking into my shoulder blades like blunt thumbtacks.

Obviously, I didn’t mind.

Once we were airborne, it only took us a few minutes to fly to our destination. We passed over the sandy, lifeless landscape of the Sixth Circle, only seeing an occasional bush, shrub, or rock along the way.

The only thing this place wasn’t short on were tombs.

Scattered across the sand below us sat hundreds of thousands of sealed tombs made out of brimstone. Inside were the souls of damned Shades and demons who were sentenced to spend eternity in these structures, their flesh forever burned by the white-hot Hellfire inside.

It wouldn’t have been so bad, however, if it weren’t for the screams.

As we flew through the sky, the sounds of muffled shrieks, wails, moans, and howls accompanied us from below.

I didn’t even want to think about what was causing such sounds of agony.

Finally, the six of us saw a large, round structure in the distance.

“There it is!” Gula exclaimed. “The Dial of the Damned.”

“Why do they call it--” I began to ask, but then my own eyes saw the answer.

The brimstone circle was embedded into the ground, and it had to have been at least a hundred feet in diameter. What really set it apart, however, were its components.

The dial of the structure was made up of skewered Shades piled on top of each other. They were still alive, and their groans made my stomach churn. Then there were the clock’s numbers, which were made out of Shades who had been put on “the rack” and stretched out to form the correct Roman numerals.

“Jesus … ” I gasped as I looked over the ghastly scene. “You know, I thought I’d seen it all.”

“It’s Hell, Jacob,” Sia noted. “It only gets worse the deeper you go.”

“That’s hard to believe,.” I shuddered at the thought of what could possibly await in the Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Circles.

As soon as the group hit the Dial of the Damned, we took a hard right and headed east. We traveled through the Sixth Circle for another thirty minutes, until we came to an area that was more barren than most. The succubi slowed their flight, descended, and then set us down on the ground.

“This can’t be right,” Cupi observed as we landed.

“What’s going on?” I questioned. “Why did we stop?”

“We’ve reached the Fields of Ember,” the succubus explained. “This is as far east as the Sixth Circle goes. There’s nothing from here on out than, well, embers.”

Cupi pointed down to the ground, and I could see it was now made up of ashy wood and stone that glowed a deep, brilliant red.

“I know I got the puzzle right … ” Tris muttered. “There’s no way my brain would fuck that up when it knew rest and relaxation was the reward.”

“Maybe it’s a trick question?” Todd asked. “You know, like when your girlfriend asks if you think another girl is pretty. There ain’t no right answer for that one, is there, Jakey?”

I rolled my eyes as I remembered the millions of times my ex had asked me that question. The imp was right, any answer I gave seemed to get me in trouble.

“There’s no way it’s a fake-out,” I explained. “Didn’t it come from Lilith?”

“Maybe it was a bad interpretation?” Sia suggested. “I trust Eligor’s ability to read inferoglyphs, but perhaps the person who wrote it down was given false information?”

Damn it. We’d come all this way, yet it felt like we were back at square one.

I turned around, hauled back, and kicked the nearby embers. They sparked as they flew across the landscape and landed in a heap on top of the rest of the pile.

Suddenly, there was a searing-hot pain in my foot. I clenched my teeth tightly as I looked down and saw that my metal boot was now glowing red, superheated by the enchanted embers.

I quickly ripped it off my leg and tossed it to the side, where it sizzled into the sand with a sharp hiss.

Wait a fucking minute.

“Guys,” I announced as it dawned on me, “I don’t think it’s a translation issue or false information or anything like that. I think we may have just misinterpreted it.”

“How so?” Sia asked. “Eligor’s translation was very clear.”

“You said it requires a ‘tortuous feat’ to find this place, right?” I questioned.

“Correct,” the redhead responded. “Do you think this might have something to do with the Field of Embers?”

“That’s exactly what I think,” I confirmed. “I’d bet money that Eligor translated it right, but she spelled one word wrong.”

“‘Feat.’” Superbia nodded as realization spread across her face.

“Torturous feet,” I corrected as I pointed over to my glowing red boot. “Crossing the Field of Embers causes torture for the feet.”

“But we can’t ‘cross’ the field,” Gula explained. “There is literally nothing beyond its borders.”

“Exactly,” I agreed, “which means the Castle of Heretic is somewhere in the Field of Embers.”

Gula and Tris both surveyed their surroundings for a moment. When they saw nothing, they turned back to me and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“What are you talking about, dude?” Tris aked. “There’s nothing as far as the eye can see.”

“Tell me, Tris,” I began coyly, “if you were trying to hide a super-secret castle that housed one of your most coveted Demon Lords, would you put it right out in the open?”

“Of course not!” the brunette chuckled. “I’m lazy, Jacob, not completely brain dead.”

“I think I see where he’s going with this … ” Cupi added as she wagged her finger. “You think it’s like, ‘in’ as in ‘inside’ the Fields of Ember.”

“Precisely,” I confirmed. “I think if we start digging, we’re gonna find exactly what we’re looking for.”

“That’s some sixties Batman level conclusion-jumping, bro,” Todd whistled. “I fucking love it.”

“Then that just leaves the question of how the fuck we’re going to get across this field without burning ourselves,” the Sister of Greed pondered.

“We could start moving the pieces of ember out with green flames,” Gula suggested.

“Negative,” Superbia interjected. “If it’s truly a hidden castle, there’s surely a hex that prevents us from simply teleporting or moving things with our mind.”

“Yeah, Firecracker,” Todd added with a giggle, “that’s like, Demon hide-and-seek one-oh-one. Did you miss that day of class?”

“I could give us all enchanted armor, and then we could just pick up the pieces by hand,” I suggested, which elicited a loud groan from Tristitia.

“That’s gonna take forever,” she sighed. “Could I just use Harold and Kumar to blast away all the chunks?”

“I like your thinking,” I admitted, “but that’d be way too loud. Gressil would hear the gunshots and have an entire army of Tartaruchi on us before we could even clear a ten foot section.”

“I could freeze them,” Cupi suggested as she summoned blue Hellfire into her hands. “That would at least cool them down long enough for us to try and dig.”

“That’s still gonna be a lot of work,” Tris argued. “And besides, if them babies are as hot as the fiery waterfall we just passed through, it’ll melt through your spell.”

“I-I could try,” Gula suggested as she raised her hand timidly.

“Try what, Gula?” Sia questioned.

The Sister of Gluttony didn’t respond with words. Instead, she just looked down at the ground, brushed her feet in the sand, and then snapped her fingers. The second she did so, brown Hellfire erupted from her hand and surrounded her open palm in a shimmering, dark flame.

“Sister!” Cupi gasped. “Is that what I think it is?”

Gula nodded slowly, but still said nothing.

“When did you--you’ve never had this power before,” Sia stuttered.

“I just got it,” the succubus explained. “I think it’s part of my upgrade.”

“I’m reaaaall confused, Jakey,” Todd whispered. “What does brown Hellfire do? Make other demons shit themselves?”

“I’m as lost as you are,” I answered. “I’ve never encountered this color of spell before.”

“That’s because it’s really rare,” Cupi spoke up.

“These types of spells come from determination and the bonds of friendship,” Superbia explained. “As you can imagine, there’s not a lot of the latter down here in Hell.”

“But what does it do?” Tris asked curiously.

“It’s mostly seen as ‘support’ magic,” Sia continued. “Brown Hellfire can be used to give allies temporary power boosts. On its own, it can amplify or reduce the effects of, well anything. Take a flame, for example. Gula could use her power to turn a candle flame into a raging inferno. Conversely, she could turn a massive fireball into a simple spark, if her power level is higher than the demon who cast it. The magic also works on sounds, temperatures, light … really anything that has varying levels of intensity.”

“So, basically she’s got Thaumaturgy,” Todd noted. “Interesting spell, but I’ve almost never seen it be useful in any of my DnD campaigns.”

“You must not play DnD with very creative people, then,” I laughed. “That sounds like a fucking awesome spell. Gula, you want to try it out?”

“Certainly.” The redhead nodded and stepped toward the Field of Ember. “Anything I can do to help.”

“Also, shucks,” I joked. “Do you really think our friendship is that strong?”

“Bro,” Todd mused, “you’ve stuffed her guts like a sausage maker with your roast beef pounder. If that ain’t strong friendship, I don’t know what is.”

“Right,” I chuckled as I tried not to think too hard about the visual.

The flirty moment between Gula and I was totally ruined, so we both just turned back to the task at hand.

The curvy redhead approached the edge of the Fields of Ember, closed her eyes, and then concentrated. As she did so, her body was engulfed in the dark fire of determination, and she began to levitate off the ground. Then the succubus extended her hands outward and blasted her spell onto the landscape before her.

Her fire crackled and hissed softly as it spread across the glowing red embers and engulfed each individual piece with its shimmer. Slowly, but surely, the soft red glow of the field dimmed down and then died out.

“Holy shit,” I whistled at the sight, and I turned and slapped Todd on the shoulder. “Worthless power, huh?”

“Still,” Tris groaned, “how are we gonna move all of this shit without green Hellfire?”

“Simple physics,” I reassured her. “Cupi, could you give us some blue magic?”

“Certainly,” the blonde succubus nodded and set her hand aglow, “but what ever for?”

“I want you to ice the ground,” I explained. “Right underneath the embers.”

Cupi gave me a confused look, but then she simply shrugged and set to work. The blonde woman strutted over to the edge of the field, sprayed her icy spell downward, and then watched as it spread forward as far as the eye could see.

“How’s that?” she asked as she stared back at me over her shoulder.

“Perfect.” I nodded. “Now, who wants to fly up and do some melting?”

“I’ll do it,” Tris agreed, “but I still don’t see where this is going.”

“Just trust me,” I reassured the succubus. “Fly up and, on my signal, rain fire down on the fields.”

Tris’ large, bat-like wings sprouted forth with a flash of purple Hellfire. Now that she was “leveled up,” her wings had an outline of silver, and the skin between her bony appendages was perfectly smooth.

More importantly, each one now beared a tattoo of my sigil.

The Sister of Sloth took to the sky, traveled about fifty feet off the ground, and then prepared her red Hellfire.

At the same time, I called forth my bronze flames of judgement. Next, I slammed my glowing fist into the ground, pictured the fire traveling to the halfway point of the field, and then watched as it followed my commands.

I ordered my spell to create different degrees of vibrations in an ascending pattern, all the way across the field. There was a dull hum as the sandy ground beneath us began to vibrate and shift, but I made sure it didn’t grow too loud.

“Now!” I commanded, and Tristitia unleashed a blast of Hellfire down into the field. “Gula, give her a boost!”

The Sister of Gluttony was caught off guard, and she just barely was able to get her spell off in time. Gula’s brown flames collided with Tris’ incendiary attack and amplified it into the size of a semi truck.

The powered-up blast struck the Fields of Ember, and its intense heat radiated off it like asphalt in the summer. Around us, the air began to fill with the sound of cracking ice, and then there was the distinct sound of rushing water.

Bingo.

As the water rushed down the newly-formed crater, it took the embers with it. Within a minute, the ice was completely gone, as were the hundreds of thousands of rocky covers.

Now, all that stood before us was a large, flat track of land.

“You said she can amplify sounds, right?” I asked Superbia as I pointed to Gula.

“Correct,” Sia gasped, probably still impressed by what she had just seen.

“Good,” I retorted. “Gula, I want you to look for the sound of dripping water. When you find it, turn it up a few notches, okay?”

“Bro,” Todd grumbled as he rubbed his fingers against his temples. “This whole plan is too smart for me. Could ya please elaborate in the language of the commoners?”

“We think the Castle of the Heretic is underneath these fields, right?” I began, and the imp nodded. “So, I just created a makeshift stream out of Cupi’s ice attack. The entrance to the castle is somewhere out in these fields, and I’m imagining it’s a hatch or a giant hole in the ground or something. Sooooo … ”

“Still not following.” Todd shrugged.

“When the water rushes over the hole, it’ll fall down,” I continued. “And when it falls down--”

“It’ll make the sound of dripping water!” Sia gasped. “Jacob, you’re a genius.”

“Seriously,” Tris added. “This means we don’t have to go flying over the entire place looking for the damn thing! My wings will thank you later, my dude.”

Gula shushed us harshly, and we all stopped talking. Then the redheaded succubus brought brown flames into her hands, knelt down, and buried them into the sandy Earth.

There was nothing but silence for a moment as she worked, but then, off in the distance, we heard it.

Dripping water.

“This way!” Cupi exclaimed as she ran forward, sprouted her wings, and somersaulted into the sky.

Todd was right behind the succubus, while Gula and Tris halted to pick up Sia and me before they followed.

The six of us traveled north, in the direction of the sound, for a solid ten minutes. As we soared across the barren landscape, the sound of the water grew louder and louder until it was almost deafening.

Then I saw it. There, in the ground below us, sat a large wooden hatch.

It wasn’t anything too complex. It appeared to be made out of some sort of dark wooden material with a handle made out of Vargrat twine. As we fluttered down closer, I noticed the thing didn’t even have a hinge, it was just a giant manhole cover in the middle of the Sixth Circle.

“This has to be it,” Gula confirmed as she approached. “Kegg’s castle will be through here.”

“These guys must really be scared shitless of you, bro,” Todd noted. “It took us a lot of fucking trouble to find this place.”

“Knowing Kegg, I think it’s the opposite,” Cupi shuddered. “I think he wants to be in an enclosed, locked-off space so if you find him, you won’t be able to escape.”

“There won’t be any escape,” I growled as I grabbed onto the handle of the hatch and lifted. “I’m not leaving until this asshole is dead.”

As I pulled away the lid, my nostrils were assaulted with the smell of sulfur. I gagged, tossed the hatch to the side, and then stared down into the abyss.

Below us was pure darkness. Just at the top of the entrance, there was the tail end of a rope that hung down until it fell out of our sight completely.

“I’m getting PTSD for gym class, bro,” Todd shuddered. “I think I’m just gonna fly down this one.”

“Is there enough room for us to fly?” I questioned as I inspected the hole further. “The shaft looks way too narrow.”

“No comment,” the imp said as he tried to hold back a giggle.

“Perhaps we could jump and then catch ourselves at the last minute?” Cupi suggested. “If there’s an entire castle down there somewhere, then it can’t stay that narrow forever.”

“We’d be flying in the dark,” Sia warned. “Or, at least as close to ‘in the dark’ as our Hellfire will allow.”

“Wait a second,” I pondered as my finger drifted up my right arm.

I had a morbid idea, but it was one that would definitely work. I tapped on my tattoo of Ira’s flaming whip, and it began to glow with a blinding white light. Then a beam of the magic extended from my arm and formed the figure of the Sister of Wrath directly in front of us.

The succubus was completely naked, and she had her whip in one hand and a giant, dick-shaped piece of wood in the other.

“Awwwww,” Ira groaned, “I was just about to get to the good part.”

“Sorry,” I bemused awkwardly and rubbed the back of my neck, “but, uh, we need your skills right now.”

“Apologize to my sub, not me,” Ira corrected. “I was just going to fuck her raw with a wooden dildo.”

“Ahhh, the ‘ol rough n’ dry,” Todd nodded, “or, as I like to call it, ‘life.’”

“This will be quick,” I promised the succubus. “We just need to figure out how far down this pit goes, and if there’s anything down there that might be dangerous.”

“Oh!” the Dom giggled as she tossed her toys to the side. “I’ll be right back. Geronimo!”

The Sister of Wrath dashed toward the hole, and my cock hardened in my pants as I saw her breasts jiggle with each step. Then Ira jumped up into the air and went feet-first into the hole.

There was nothing for a few seconds, but then we suddenly heard a loud “crash” at the bottom of the pit.

I quickly tapped the tattoo on my arm to return Ira to her original place, and then I touched it again to call her back to us.

As she appeared in the white glow of the spell, her body was completely crumpled up. Her leg bones were sticking out of her knees, and she had scrapes and bruises all over her naked body.

However, she was still in high spirits.

“About two hundred feet, I’d say,” she said in an orgasmic tone as she touched the exposed bone of her leg. “The tunnel widened about sixty feet from the ground, though. No traps. That was fun.”

Ira bit her lip passionately as she studied her wounds, but then she surrounded her body in golden Hellfire. The second she was encased by the healing flames, the bones from her legs crawled back beneath her skin, and then her flesh grew back over them. Each one of the succubus’ wounds sealed themselves shut until the Dom was as good as new.

She stood up, brushed the sand off her shoulder, and then picked up her toys.

“Uh, Crazy Eyes?” Todd asked and pointed to her sandy lower half. “I think you missed some.”

“Not at all,” Ira said through a sly smile. “That’ll be extra lubricant.”

Todd let out a shudder that sounded like it touched his very soul and shook his head vehemently.

“Thanks for the help, Ira.” I nodded to the succubus and touched the whip tattoo. “Now, go have fun.”

“Oh, I wiiiiilllll,” the dark-haired woman purred as she disappeared with a flash of white light.

As soon as she was gone and we’d all gotten over the weird shit we’d just seen, I turned back to my friends.

“Okay, so it’s about two hundred feet down, and it opens up at about sixty,” I reiterated. “Now, I’m not a mathematician, but I think that’ll give us enough time to slow our momentum before we all send our knees through our shoulders.”

“It does,” Sia confirmed, “but we’ll only have a few seconds of wiggle room. If we expand our wings too quickly, we’ll hit the walls and spin out of control. If we expand too late then, well … knees through the chest.”

“This is the first and only time I’m gonna say this, bro,” Todd warned, “but thank fuck I’m so tiny. Now that we know there ain’t any nasty surprises, I can just float on down there and act as a spotter for the rest of y’all. Now, if you’ll excuse me … cannonball!”

The imp ran over to the pit, surrounded his body with black Hellfire, and then hopped over the edge. He plummeted out of sight, and then there was nothing but silence.

A few moments later, we saw a flicker of Hellfire ignite all the way down at the bottom of the pit and wave back and forth like a signal.

Todd was alright.

“Okay,” I sighed. “Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Tris offered as she stepped forward. “Better to just do it and get it over with. Besides, I don’t wanna really carry anybody else.”

“How thoughtful of you, Tris.” Gula rolled her eyes at the comment, but I could tell by her tone of voice that she was joking.

The Sister of Sloth stepped over to the edge of the hole, shrugged, and then jumped down, feet-first.

All four of us seemed to hold our breath as we waited for what happened next, and it was so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop on the sandy ground.

Then we heard the sound of fluttering wings, and a second red flame appeared at the bottom of the pit.

I let out a sigh of relief. Tris was safe.

“I’ll go next,” Gula offered, “and I’ll take Superbia with me.”

“Wow,” Cupi giggled, “of course you’re taking the lighter person.”

“Excuse me?” I joked. “I’ll have you know all of the weight on my body is muscle.”

“I know that,” Cupi cooed. “I’m usually the one pressed up tight against it at night.”

The blonde woman ran her hand tenderly along my chest, and I felt my heartbeat quicken in my chest. The succubus was staring deeply into my eyes, and I would have loved to have ripped off her clothes and taken her right then and there.

“Now, now, lovebirds,” Gula interrupted. “We’ve got a mission to finish. Then we can all go home and celebrate.”

The Sister of Gluttony and her Madame walked over to the side of the pit, and then Gula picked up the smaller redhead from behind.

“On three,” Sia commanded. “One … two … three!”

The two succubi disappeared through the pit as I held my breath once more. There was nothing. Nothing. Nothing …

Now, I was starting to get worried. They should have halted their descent by now.

Finally, there was the sound of flapping wings, and I heard a loud grunt from below.

Gula ignited her red Hellfire and told us she was safe.

“I guess that just leaves us.” I nodded to Cupi as we walked over to the pit. “You sure you’re up to this? I know I’m kind of a lot to handle.”

“You can say that again,” the succubus winked, “I think I’ll be fine. Training with all these Shades has made me ripped as hell. Maybe I’ll let you feel sometime … ”

The fit blonde woman walked behind me, wrapped her arms under my armpits, and then began to walk toward the pit. As we moved, I could feel her abs rippling against my back, and I seriously wanted to see them in action.

We stepped onto the edge, took a deep breath, and then pushed off.

The world went dark, and time seemed to stand still as we plummeted through the silence around us. The wind whipped through my hair as we fell, and I guessed we had to be moving at a crazy-high velocity.

Based on what Sia told us, we were only about five seconds away from the deployment area. Five … four … three … two …

Suddenly, Cupiditas’ wings appeared with a flash of purple.

The next thing I knew, I heard the sound of her feathered appendage smash against the rocky wall, and our momentum was halted instantly.

She was just a split-second too early.

Cupi let out a yell of pain as she began to spin out of control, and the impact forced her to lose her grip on my body.

Fuck.

I instinctively tried to catch myself with my telekinetic Hellfire but, thanks to the hex, nothing came out but sparks of green. I had no other choice but to throw down a wall of purple flames and brace for impact.

I hit the barrier hard. Most of the impact was absorbed by my armor, but I still felt my brain rattle around in my skull as I was launched backwards. I slammed into the ground at an awkward angle, tumbled across the dirt, and then came to a stop a few feet away from my friends.

As I looked up, I saw Gula zip up into the sky and snatch the falling Cupi. She floated back down to the ground and Sia, Tris, and Todd ran over to where I was sitting.

“Jacob, are you alright?” Sia gasped as she summoned golden flames into her hand.

“I think so,” I groaned and motioned to my aching body, “just a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing the healing touch can’t fix.”

The succubus madame quickly placed her glowing hand against my wounds, and the warmth of her flames overtook the pain.

I could feel my cuts sew themselves shut and then fuse together. At the same time, the bruises on my body turned brown for a brief second and then faded away as if they were never there in the first place. My skin tingled for a bit longer, but then all feeling subsided.

“There,” Sia nodded as she pulled away, “good as new.”

I did a few motion tests with my arm and saw that she was right.

“Jacob,” Cupi blubbered as tears began to fill her eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I must have mistimed the fall.”

“It’s alright,” I promised her as I walked over and touched her cheek lovingly. “We all make mistakes sometimes.”

“Yes, but that one could have gotten you killed,” she admitted with shame in her voice.

“That’s why we keep her around,” I joked and pointed back to Sia. “Well, that and all the amazing logistical shit she does. Plus the management. Plus the math skills. Plus the amazing sex.”

“And here I thought you kept me around for my personality,” Superbia mused.

“Well, that too,” I reassured her.

“Guys?” Todd spoke up from behind us. “I hate to interrupt your little love-fest, but I think I found our castle.”

I turned around and saw exactly what Todd was talking about. Off in the distance, there was the glow of a bright red flame.

A flame that stood in the shape of a castle.

“Really?” Tris asked sarcastically. “Bet it took you awhile to find that one, huh?”

“Maybe,” Todd shot back, completely unaware of the joke. “A master never reveals his secrets.”

“Alright, guys,” I announced as I tightened the strap of my gauntlet. “Get ready, because things are about to go from zero to one-hundred really quick.”

Chapter 13

The Castle of the Heretic was only about three miles away, but the sheer scale of the thing became apparent as we drew closer.

Thanks to the constraints of being in an underground cavern, the structure was nowhere near as large as my own dwelling. That said, it was still a three-story castle, complete with guard towers and perimeter walls that had the greatest protection spell of all.

They were on fucking fire.

“Do you think he has an army in there?” I questioned as we got closer to our destination.

“It’s hard to tell,” Cupiditas admitted, “but one thing’s for sure. If he has anyone in there with him, they’re not patrolling the walls.”

“That’s good, right?” I asked. “That means all we have to do is get through the spell, find Kegg’s quarters, and then kick his ass.”

“Easier said than done,” the blonde succubus sighed. “Even with our combined powers, we struggled to get through the flaming waterfall. How are we going to get past a literal castle perimeter that’s using the same spell?”

“You just gotta believe in yourself, my bodacious blonde,” Todd tried to hype her up. “Believe, and you can achieve.”

“That sounds like a sign Ariel would have in her workshop,” Tris gagged. “Way too peppy for me.”

“Little Mermaid is full of pep,” Todd retorted. “That, and apparently Jakey Juice.”

“Really?” I groaned.

“What?” the imp snickered. “I think I’m the only one here who isn’t.”

All of the succubi looked at each other, shrugged, and nodded in agreement.

“Look,” I sighed and tried to get us back on track, “we can use Gula’s power boost to give you a jump, and then maybe that’ll be enough to put out some of the flames.”

“Even then,” Cupi protested, “it’ll just freeze part of the castle. If Kegg’s spell remains constant, the ice will melt, and then we’ll be back to square one.”

“Speaking of frozen,” Todd whistled as he wiped a bit of sweat from his brow, “it’s getting really fucking hot down here. Is there any way you could like, flash-freeze my pores or something like that?”

The imp was right. As we got closer and closer to the flaming castle, the heat got more intense. Now, I was sweating so profusely I felt like I was swimming inside of my armor.

“That would probably kill you, Todd,” Cupi warned, “but I can do this.”

The blonde succubus summoned blue Hellfire into her hands and then shot a misty spray into the air around us. The mist was amazingly cold, yet it was incredibly satisfying and refreshing all at the same time.

Each one of us let out a sigh of relief as Cupi held her spell and continued to create a makeshift mist machine.

Then I got an idea.

“Cupi, that’s it!” I gasped and clapped my hands around the succubus’ shoulders. “You don’t need to freeze it in place. You need to put it out completely!”

The blonde woman didn’t seem to understand what I was getting at, so I nodded toward her enchanted hand. Her brow furrowed as she tried to put two and two together.

“What are you doing right now?” I tried to lead her on.

Then her violet eyes widened with excitement.

“The moisture in the air,” she said with a grin. “My spell is putting moisture into the air.”

“Exactly,” I confirmed, “and if there’s a fuckton of moisture in the air … ”

“It’s kinda cold?” Todd interrupted, still confused.

“No, Todd,” Cupi giggled, “it means I can use my magic to turn the beads of water into something bigger.”

“Liiiiiikkkkkeeee, a giant bubble?” the imp asked, and it was obvious he still didn’t get it.

“Like a geyser,” I finally explained. “She’s going to put a bunch of mist into the air, and then Gula’s gonna give her a power boost so that the mist becomes a literal wall of water. It’ll put out the flames, and then we can move through unharmed.”

“Oh.” Todd nodded. “Why didn’t you just say so, bro?”

“Sister?” Cupi asked as she looked over at Gula. “Give me some juice.”

The Sister of Gluttony summoned brown fire into her hand and placed it firmly on Cupi’s back. The flames spread across the Sister of Greed’s body until they reached the spell in her hand, and then the blue fire glowed even more intensely.

The mist erupting from Cupi’s hand became a full-on smokescreen as the cool droplets of water filled the air until I could barely see ten feet in front of myself.

Next, the succubus summoned her wings, floated up into the sky, and began to make a swirling motion with her hands.

“We have to go the second she attacks,” I announced. “Even if this works, it’ll only be for a minute or two.”

“Let’s do it,” Gula confirmed as she zipped around behind me and picked me up into the air.

Cupi began to grunt with determination as the moisture swirled into a miniature typhoon in front of her body. Then she pulled back her hands, threw them forward, and released a massive wave of water onto the castle wall.

The flames went out instantly with a hiss, and we made our move.

The six of us zipped up over the castle walls, and for the first time, I saw just what we’d gotten ourselves into.

The courtyard down below was littered with upright spears, and each one was holding a decapitated head. Several of them were the heads of Shades, still alive and moaning for somebody to end their agony. Next to them were severed, decomposing heads of creatures of all kinds. There must have been hundreds of the grisly displays in total.

“Put us down there.” I pointed to a small clearing at the center of the courtyard.

“Right inside of all the severed heads?” Gula questioned.

“Exactly between the severed heads,” I reiterated.

The group flittered down onto the ground just as the flames reignited behind us.

One thing was for sure as I watched the fire flicker in the dead eyes of one of the heads … there was no escaping this fucking place. Not alive, anyway.

“Do you think he killed all these guys in battle?” Todd asked as he inspected a pig-like skull. “Or is Kegger just like, buying all these from Skymall or something?”

“They’re his fallen foes,” Cupi confirmed. “In his permanent dwelling, he has over sixty-thousand skulls on display.”

“Wait,” Tris gasped, “how long has he been in this castle?”

Cupi’s eyes narrowed as she stared down her Sister.

“A month,” she confirmed. “Maybe two.”

“Jesus … ” I pondered as I looked around at the macabre scene.

“There’s a reason Eligor fears this demon,” the succubus continued.

“All the more reason to strike quickly and efficiently,” I retorted. “Before he even knows we’re here.”

“If he doesn’t already know,” Sia added. “We were not exactly subtle in our entrance.”

“Todd,” I said cautiously, “I’ve got a mission for you. How do you feel about doing some recon?”

“I’m all for it,” Todd nodded, “but, before I begin, I have one question. Where are the ladies’ quarters located?”

“There aren’t any,” Superbia sighed. “If anyone else is here with Kegg, it’ll be Beelzebub’s soldiers.”

“Well damn,” the imp sighed, “I was hoping I could play a little game of tug ‘n run before anything major went down.”

“Just … find the throne room, bro.” I facepalmed.

“Ten-four, little buddy!” The imp saluted, and then his body turned invisible.

We couldn’t see Todd anymore, but I could distinctly hear him whistling the Mission: Impossible theme song as he ran away.

“I just hope he doesn’t get caught,” Cupi shuddered. “The things Kegg will do to him if he does … ”

“This guy can’t be that brutal,” I scoffed. “So he’s got a bunch of heads in his courtyard, and he’s a master at combat. We’ve fought many, mannny guys who were like that.”

“Kegg fights like a cornered animal,” Cupi explained. “He fights dirty and will not hesitate to pull out all the stops to bring his opponent down. If he doesn’t kill you instantly, that just means he has even more sadistic plans for what he’s gonna do to you.”

“Then we need a plan of our own,” I conceded. “If he’s really such an expert combatant, we have to function like a well-oiled machine to bring him down.”

We sat there, huddled in the shadowy corner of the courtyard for the next fifteen minutes and formulated a plan.

I was going to kick down the door of his throne room, storm in with Cupi and Sia at my side, and declare that he had to submit to me or die. Meanwhile, Todd would use his invisibility powers to conceal Gula, Tris, and himself so they could sneak into the room undetected.

While Kegg was focused on fighting the three enemies he could see, Gula would use her powers to boost up Tris, and then she would pump him full of lead with Harold and Kumar’s enhanced bullets.

It was a simple plan, but it had everything. It was going to take the fucker by surprise, it didn’t involve any of us getting close to the deadly Demon Lord, and, as far as I knew, nobody was resistant to bullets.

“I think this is gonna work.” Cupi nodded.

“If Todd ever gets back here,” Tris observed. “He’s been gone for a long time, dudes.”

“Awww,” I joked, “are you worried about your stoner buddy?”

“Fuck yes, I am,” the succubus retorted. “He still owes me for that dime bag I lent him the other day!”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Of course it was about the weed.

“I said I was gonna pay you back!” Todd’s voice harrumphed suddenly and startled us all. “I was even gonna throw in a bit of Jolly Green Giant as a form of interest, but I dunno now.”

“There you are,” I sighed with relief. “What’s the lowdown?”

“So, get this,” Todd began, “there is a ladies’ locker room, but it was empty! I can’t believe Kegger would blue-ball somebody like that.”

“Focus, Todd,” I reminded the imp. “Did you find out where our target is located?”

“Oh, yeah,” Todd chuckled. “He’s in his throne room, which is like, right up those stairs and to the right. The big dumb animal is just sitting in the chair, watching the magic mirror and munching on a giant-ass roasted Vargrat leg.”

“If it’s literally right up there,” Cupi questioned, “why did it take you so long to get back to us?”

“Because I had to go find the women’s locker room,” he reminded the succubus, “duh.”

“Was there anyone else in the castle?” I continued my questioning. “Any guards or soldiers or anything like that?”

“I saw a few of those black and red bastards hanging around the dining hall,” Todd explained. “Ya know, those guys who worked for Urethral and Brundlefly?”

“The Daeva,” Cupi hissed. “If Lucifer knew the Dejected were down here in his domain, he’d probably kill Beelzebub himself.”

“I doubt that,” I sighed. “We could never be so lucky.”

“How many did you see?” Sia prompted.

Todd’s figure reappeared in front of us, and he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Probably about fifty or sixty,” he admitted. “This castle may be ginormous on the outside, but there’s actually not that much elbow room in there. Like, I’d be surprised if there was enough room in the living quarters to put a sectional, bro.”

“That’s not that shocking.” The succubus madame shrugged. “It’s a satellite location built specifically as a punishment for those who defied Gressil. It’s not supposed to be big and luxurious like most Demon Lord’s castles.”

“Speaking of … ” Todd pondered aloud. “Now that I’m a Demon Lord, do I get my own castle? Like, it seems every single Demon Lord has a castle but me, bro.”

“Mephisto doesn’t have one,” I protested.

“Sure he does,” Superbia corrected me. “He just likes to stay in our guest suite whenever he is doing business with his King.”

“Huh,” I whispered. “I always thought he just lived with us. I guess I can come up with a castle for you. But give me some time. You’ve been a Demon Lord for less than twenty-four hours.”

“Times-a-wastin’” the imp joked and tapped at his nonexistent watch.

“Alright, are we ready?” I asked the group rhetorically. “The involvement of the Daeva might change things up a little, but we’ve killed plenty of these bastards before, and we can do it again.”

“The Daeva are not known for their bravery,” Sia clarified. “If they know their leader is dead, they might just run away in fear.”

“Even better.” I nodded.

Then I turned to Todd, filled him in on the plan, and set everything into motion.

The little imp took Gula and Tris by the hand, bowed his head, and then muttered an incantation I didn’t recognize. Without another word, all three of them turned invisible.

“Follow us,” Cupiditas told our invisible friends.

Cupi, Sia, and I started up the stairs of the castle and paused when we reached the top of the stairs.

There, in the main room, were dozens more of the severed heads, mounted on the walls as if they were taxidermied animals. It was a shock to see, but it wore off quickly.

Kegg was trying to intimidate us, but I wasn’t going to let it work.

We turned to the right and made our way down the hallways of the castle until we came upon a large, brown double door.

“This is it, bro,” Todd’s disembodied voice whispered.

I couldn’t wait to see the look on Kegg’s dumb face when he saw us. So, I took a deep breath, withdrew the Unhallowed Sword from its sheath, and then threw up my foot and kicked just between the double doors.

Both of the doors flew open to reveal Kegg sitting nonchalantly in his throne. He had a bit of Vargrat meat in his teeth as he picked at it with his clawed hand, but he didn’t move when he saw us.

Instead, he just tilted his head and smiled.

The man wasn’t much bigger than the other demons I’d faced. He was about six and a half feet tall, with dark red skin and a body nearly double as wide as he was tall. The Demon Lord was wearing a loose-fitting shirt made up of tattered, light brown fabric that looked like it had been stained to hell and back. His thick leather boots came up to his knees and nearly covered the entirety of his green pants. The demon’s face was rounded, and his horns were short and curved like a Viking’s helmet.

Kegg tossed the Vargrat leg to the side and then hoisted his bulk up out of the chair.

“Welcome, King Ralston!” he said devilishly. “Can I offer ya anything ta drink? It’s the least I can do, since I’m gonna be drinking from your skull here shortly.”

“Fuck off, Kegg,” I growled. “Your assassin didn’t work. We kicked the Lakhey’s ass and sent him--”

“You sent him back here, hoping I would believe his lies,” Kegg chuckled as a grin spread across his face. “You thought he would tell me he was successful, and then I’d pay him, and he’d be on his way. Ya forgot about somethin’, though. I always tell my minions to bring me back a souvenir … ”

“Heads,” I muttered underneath my breath.

“I didn’t hear that, mortal,” Kegg sneered. “I hope you have a better set of lungs on you than that. The bagpipes I make out of your organs will need to have a lot more umph. Oh, and just in case you were wonderin’ about the Lakhey … ”

Kegg snapped his fingers, and two Daeva came sauntering out from behind the Demon Lord’s chair. They both carried a large, black-and-red object in their hands, and I realized what it was instantly.

The Lakhey’s severed head.

The Daeva tossed it down at our feet, but I did my best to ignore it. The result was the same: we were here, and we were going to kill this fucker.

“I’m here with a message, Kegg,” I growled. “I could use a Demon Lord like you on my side. Submit to me, or fucking die like the rest.”

Kegg threw back his head and cackled.

Now was Tris’ chance.

I saw a swarm of bullets erupt from the corner of the room and head directly toward the Demon King and his Daeva.

In a flash of green Hellfire, Kegg disappeared from our sight.

Son of a bitch … he must have been exempt from the fucking hex.

The Daeva, however, were not so lucky.

Their tiny bodies exploded into a mess of gore and blood as they were literally torn apart by Tris’ bullets. Once the onslaught subsided, what was left of their fleshy bodies crumpled to the ground.

“Where the fuck did he--” I began, but Cupi cut me off.

“Duck!” the succubus screamed.

I didn’t hesitate. I fell down into a combat roll just as a giant, one-handed battle axe swished past my head. As I came to my feet, I saw Cupi deploy her polearm and take a swing at Kegg.

The Demon Lord caught the succubus’ weapon by the point, yanked forward, and brought her hurling toward his axe.

I threw out a shield of purple just before Cupi’s stomach was impaled, and she bounced off harmlessly.

However, Kegg wasn’t done.

He dropped the axe, yanked her forward again, and swung at her face with his massive mitt, but thankfully, the succubus was fast enough to toss up a shot of blue Hellfire and freeze his hand in place.

I charged at the fucker from behind, readied my sword, and then took a swing at his neck, but Kegg once again disappeared with a flash of green, and my sword caught nothing but air.

“So, he can fucking teleport,” I warned my friends. “No wonder he almost never loses. Guys, stay fucking invisible!”

Kegg reappeared inches in front of my position, and I had to immediately sidestep to avoid taking his axe to my face. I stabbed at the fucker with my weapon, but he simply phased out, phased back in, and then trapped the Unhallowed Sword in his stomach.

He took another swing at me with his axe, but I was able to get up a barrier of purple in time to dispel the attack. I yanked at the hilt of my sword, but it wasn’t going to budge.

Time to improvise.

I summoned red Hellfire into my hand and cast it down the length of my weapon.

Kegg growled in pain as his insides were singed, and then he disappeared in a flash of green. The Demon Lord reappeared on the other side of the room, and he was holding the spot where I’d burned him.

“So, you are as good as they say,” he hissed. “It’s been awhile since anyone’s actually hurt me, King Ralston. But that’s gonna be the last time for you!”

The Demon Lord stomped his foot into the ground and let out a bellow that shook the entire castle. From afar, we could hear the Daeva call back.

“Haduken!” Todd exclaimed as he reappeared and blasted a fireball into Kegg’s face at point-blank range.

The Demon Lord roared as his head was thrown back, but then he lashed out and grabbed Todd’s tiny body. He threw the imp to the ground violently, raised up his boot, and brought it down hard.

I threw out a barrier of violet Hellfire, and Kegg’s foot twisted awkwardly as it struck the rock-hard flame.

While his attention was still on Todd, a massive fireball appeared out of the corner of the room and struck him in the back. Kegg fell to the ground, hopped back up on his feet, and hurled his axe in the direction of the now visible Gula.

The redheaded succubus gasped and jumped out of the way as the blade stuck into the wall just where her head had been located a moment before.

Then Superbia’s black Hellfire rocketed across the room, caught Kegg from behind, and lifted him up into the air.

However, before anyone could go in for the kill, he vanished in a flash of emerald.

“We got company, Jakey!” Todd exclaimed as he pointed to the door.

About fifty Daeva came charging into the room, and they hissed as they launched fireballs in our direction.

I threw up a wall of purple around Sia, Cupi, and I, and then looked back at the other three.

“Stay on your fucking toes!” I commanded. “Don’t let these assholes distract you. If Kegg gets his hands on you one-on-one, you’re dead!”

Almost as if on command, the Demon Lord appeared immediately next to me and lunged for my throat.

Thankfully, Cupi was there for the save.

The blonde succubus flipped her polearm around and smacked away Kegg’s hand with the blunt end. Then she twirled around and took a stab at him with the point.

Kegg disappeared and then reappeared behind Cupi. My heart sank as he slammed his boot into the back of her leg, grabbed her polearm horizontally, and then brought it up to her throat forcefully.

“Cupi!” I screamed as I released my protective spell.

I didn’t give a fuck if the Daeva lit me on fire. I didn’t care if this was a horrible strategy.

This fucker was hurting my succubus, and he was going to pay.

I called forth bronze Hellfire into my hand, blasted the ground, and knocked both of them off their feet.

Even though Kegg was now on the ground, he still had a death grip on Cupi’s throat, and the succubus’ face was beginning to turn blue.

Not on my watch.

I summoned the silver Hellfire into my hands next and ordered Cupi’s polearm to liquify.

Before, this would have been impossible. My silver Hellfire didn’t work on enchanted metal. But now I was a powered up Demon King with a slew of Demon Lords at my disposal.

So, it was a piece of cake.

The polearm disappeared into a splash of red metal, and the Sister of Greed came up gasping for air. Before Kegg could make another move, I turned the metal into jagged spikes and slammed them down into his chest.

He disappeared into a flash of green Hellfire, but it looked like some of the spikes went along with him, so I guessed some of my attacks must have landed.

“Are you alright?” I asked Cupi as she held the bruise on her throat.

“I’ll be fine,” she promised. “Nothing Sia can’t fix.”

“Incoming!” Todd exclaimed as he zipped over to us and launched a fireball at a nearby Daeva.

The attack struck the tiny demon in the face, and he went down hard. Then Todd swooped over above him, lashed out with his claws, and stabbed into the Daeva’s eye socket.

The Daeva went limp, and Todd fist pumped as he cartwheeled out of the way of another attack.

“If Animal Planet taught me anything,” he mused as he dodged a few more attacks, “it’s that you always wanna go for the soft spots.”

Suddenly, Kegg reappeared a few feet from Cupi and me, tossed his axe, and then vanished.

I knocked the incoming projectile out of the way, but the Demon Lord returned just in time to catch it and take a swing. I felt the side of my armor dent as the axe slammed into me, and a wave of pain shot through my body.

However, it wasn’t all for not.

Cupi summoned blue Hellfire into her hand, grabbed Kegg by the back of his head, and unleashed a blast of freezing flames.

The Demon Lord yelped, stumbled forward, and then disappeared.

“Our attacks are definitely doing damage,” I observed. “He’s moving a lot slower, and he’s choosing his attacks more carefully.”

“I’m the lord of the harvest!” Tris exclaimed as she fired off her Tommy guns at the hip. “I’m bringing it all down! Down to Hell!”

The bodies of several more Daeva exploded into bloody pulps as they were ripped to shreds by the succubus’ bullets.

“I taught her that one, Jakey,” Todd snickered as he zipped past and launched a fireball. “I’m so proud.”

Superbia and Gula were both on the other side of the room, engaged with a large cluster of Daeva.

The Sister of Pride was taking a much more hands off approach. She stood twenty feet away from her opponents as she blasted them with black Hellfire. Once they were caught in her grasp, Sia picked them up and slammed them into the wall as violently as she could.

Even from over here, I could see several exposed brains and eyeballs hanging from their sockets.

Sia might have been the most timid of my succubi, but she was far from harmless.

“Mortal!” one of the small demons hissed as it leapt toward me.

I just rolled my eyes, knocked down its defenses with a shot of bronze Hellfire, and then skewered him on my sword.

His eyes bulged out of his head, his tongue flopped out of his mouth as he died, and then I simply tossed him aside like a discarded napkin.

At this point, the Daeva were just pawns to be slaughtered, distractions for their big bad master.

Another one of the black-and-red demons charged at Cupi, but she quickly blasted it with a shot of blue Hellfire, spun around on her injured leg, and shattered him into bits with her heel.

Kegg reappeared right next to Gula, and I threw up a shield before he could strike her. He roared with frustration as he attacked again, but my barrier wasn’t going to break.

Instead, Tris got to him from behind.

“Surprise, bitch!” the brunette yelled as she unloaded a full clip of bullets into the demon’s leg.

Kegg screamed as he fell down and then disappeared into a flash of emerald Hellfire.

This fucker wasn’t expecting us to be on top of this. Like I said before, well-oiled machine.

Superbia tossed a few more dead Daeva past our position and then dashed over to Cupi.

“She’s hurt!” the madame exclaimed.

“Understatement of the year right there,” I confirmed.

The redhead reached out with her flaming golden hands, intent on healing her Sister.

However, it wasn’t her Sister who she was touching.

Kegg appeared directly in front of Superbia and absorbed the effect of her healing magic. As his body lit up with the warm glow, he threw his head back, lurched it forward, and headbutted Sia in the face.

Cupi and I both gasped and blasted at the fucker with our Hellfire, but he was gone again in a flash. Our fireballs hit each other in the air, exploded, and sent all three of us flying backwards.

I used my momentum to roll up onto my feet and catch myself, and then I instantly dashed over to where Sia was laying on the ground.

The succubus madame was in a heap on the ground and had blood trickling out of both her nostrils. Her tiny chest was still moving up and down, but she was completely unconscious.

Seeing a delicate woman like Sia in this state was horrifying, and I began to tremble with rage. A deep, dark hatred boiled up from the pit of my stomach, and my temples began to tingle with a feeling I hadn’t felt since coming down to Hell.

I turned around, summoned red Hellfire into my hands and blasted the closest Daeva into a crisp.

“Kegggggg!” I screamed. “Show yourself, you fucking coward!”

There was a flash of green flames in front of me, and the barbaric Demon Lord appeared with his battle axe over his shoulder.

“Ohhhh,” he mocked. “I see the Nephilim has finally found his horns. That’ll make ya look even better on my wall.”

“Stealing health and then attacking a healer?” I hissed. “That’s low, even for a demonic piece of garbage like you.”

“All’s fair in war, mortal,” Kegg mocked, and then he disappeared once again.

This time, I was ready for the motherfucker.

I summoned red Hellfire into my hands, threw them down to my side, and created a miniature geyser of flames around my body just as Kegg returned.

The flames blasted him from below and sent him instantly into retreat. When he appeared once more, I was on him.

I lashed out with the Unhallowed Sword, but the Demon Lord grabbed it with his bare hands. The next thing I knew, his axe was headed for my side, and I was forced to dispel it with a flash of purple.

Kegg went in for the headbutt like he had with Sia, but I was too quick.

I commanded my purple Hellfire to form a barrier around my head, and my enemy nearly concussed himself against it.

The fucker stumbled back, and I took my shot. I blasted Kegg with a shot of my bronze Hellfire, knocked him on his ass, and then stabbed downward. The tip of my blade stabbed into the Demon Lord’s right thigh, and he howled as his blackish-red blood spilled all over the floor of the castle.

I had this bastard right where I wanted him.

Kegg’s yellow eyes glowed with excitement as he stared down at the sword in his leg, and then he shot me a look that told me maybe my observation wasn’t exactly correct.

“Gotcha.” He grinned.

I tried to yank the weapon from his body, but the Demon Lord called forth green Hellfire around his body. I let go of the sword, but it was too late.

The fire had already consumed me, and the world went dark as my body became weightless. I didn’t know where Kegg was taking me, but it definitely wasn’t going to be good.

Chapter 14

The world came back into view a few seconds later. My sword was still embedded into Kegg’s bulky leg, and the Demon Lord was still sprawled out on the ground in a gleeful stupor.

The fucker disappeared again and left me to cautiously survey my surroundings.

I gripped my sword tighter as I made a defensive circle.

We were still somewhere in the Sixth Circle. The landscape was still sandy and desolate, with the occasional shrub or stone jutting out of the ground. However, the biggest giveaways were the brimstone tombs.

You definitely didn’t get those anywhere else in the universe.

But these tombs were different.

There were nine of them, all arranged in an intentional circle around the spot I was standing. Each one bore a different etching on the front, a symbol that I assumed stood for whoever was going to be locked inside.

One of them had a phallic symbol, while another one was a dollar sign, and another one had a drawing of an elegant feast.

Hold on … these were the seven deadly sins.

Sure enough, the other four tombs were engraved with images of the remaining sins. The last two brimstone prisons, however, were a little too on the nose.

One had a pot leaf, and the other bore my sigil.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” a deep, guttural voice called out to get my attention. “The drawings ended up being much more crude than I intended.”

A tall, armored demon stepped out from behind the tomb with my sigil, and I raised the Unhallowed Sword to be at the ready.

This fucker may have been gigantic, but he was anything but lanky. His shoulders spread out wide across his torso, aided in no small part by the pointed black metal pauldrons on his shoulders. His entire body was covered in dark gray scale mail armor that was capped off by a bright red belt around his waist. The demon’s belt buckle bore a sigil of its own, a snake with four heads whose tongues shot out of their bodies and tied together in a skull-shaped knot before them.

The demon’s skin was dark green, complemented by the glowing red eyes that sat atop his pointed nose. His ears were large and pointed, almost like the elves you’d see in a fantasy movie.

“Come now, King Ralston,” Kegg’s voice declared from behind me, and I spun around with my sword to attack the fucker. “Don’t you know who this is?”

Instead, I hit one of the nearby tombs.

“I don’t give a fuck who you are!” I growled.

“You really should,” the goblin-like demon clicked his tongue, “I know you very, very well, Jacob Ralston.”

Kegg appeared beside the tall, armored demon with his axe at the ready.

“You should be bowin’, ya mortal filth!” the barbarian demanded. “This is the King of the Sixth Circle yer talkin’ to!”

My blood went cold in my body as the realization kicked in.

Gressil. The demon in front of me was none other than Gressil.

“Now, now, Kegg,” the Demon King corrected, “King Ralston is still a king. Maybe an illegitimate king, but a king nonetheless.”

“Nothing ‘illegitimate’ about me,” I shot back. “I killed Azazel, so I’m the new King of the Fourth Circle. That’s all there is to it.”

“You are an abomination,” Gressil sneered. “A filthy Nephilim who thinks he deserves the universe just because his whore of a mother fucked a demon.”

“Fuck off!” I growled and blasted a shot of red Hellfire at the two demons.

Gressil rolled his eyes, snapped his fingers, and froze my blast in place with a flash of blue Hellfire.

“Please, King Ralston,” he pleaded, “we are above such violent strife, are we not?”

“If I remember correctly, you tried to kill me with Tartaruchi the last time I was down here,” I spat.

“I did,” the green demon admitted. “You were snooping around my territory, and I wanted to see if you were friend or foe.”

“Let me guess how that turned out,” I grumbled sarcastically.

“Don’t take it too personally,” Gressil mused as he looked at his fingernails, disinterested. “The decision was made the second Beelzebub told me about your heritage. I’ve always been … somewhat sympathetic to the plight of mortals. In fact, I kind of admire what they’ve done. Breaking the one rule they had in the Garden? Constantly giving their middle finger to the Exalted One? It’s delicious. But a Nephilim? Your kind make the Daeva look like purebreds.”

I briefly considered revealing my true father to the bastard, but stopped. That was a card I needed to keep close to my chest until the right moment.

“Funny how you demons fear us,” I mocked. “You’re supposed to be the biggest, baddest entities in the universe, yet you’re worried about a couple guys who can use both Hellfire and Divine Light?”

“If only that were the case,” Gressil growled. “Your very existence poses a threat to the natural order. Look at you, Jacob Ralston. You’ve bumbled your way through life, slaughtering demon after Demon Lord and Demon King without so much as suffering a casualty. You think this is all some sort of game that can be won. That there will be some sort of grand prize at its end … There is not.”

I summoned red Hellfire into my hand, ran it across the blade of the Unhallowed Sword, and ignited it with a powerful shimmer. Then I flipped it back and held my weapon at the ready.

“Look,” I admitted, “me and my friend just wanted to be left alone with our hot succubi. It was you fuckers who kept dragging us back in for more. Now, it’s you guys who are in too deep.”

Gressil’s expression turned to a frown, and he began to rap his fingers against the stony tomb.

“We shall see in due time, Nephilim,” the King of the Sixth Circle growled. “But for now, I’ve got some freshly-made tombs to fill.”

The Demon King clapped his hands together, summoned green Hellfire into his hands, and then encapsulated each one of the tombs in the glow of the spell.

Suddenly, the air was filled with a loud, stony growl, and the lids popped off with a sharp hiss. The second they were off, the Shades who had been trapped inside stumbled out of their fiery prisons with their skin still ablaze. They screamed bloody murder as they tried to put out the fire, but it was no use.

Gressil snapped his fingers, and then his eyes lit up with a white-hot fire as they rolled back in his head. He raised his arms above his head, and the Shades all stopped in their tracks.

Each one of their eyes lit up with the same white Hellfire, and their mouths went slack. They turned to face me with pure vitriol on their faces, and then they began to shamble in my direction slowly.

“I hope you like a taste of your own medicine,” Gressil cackled. “Have fun killing that which cannot be killed.”

With that, the Demon King snapped his fingers and vanished with a flash of green flames.

“Stay the fuck back!” I warned the incoming Shades, but it was no use.

Whatever the hell this white fire did to them, they were under the full control of Gressil.

The nearest flaming Shade drew a machete from his belt, and I knew the time for talking was over. He swung at my left side as hard as he could, but I was able to get up my blade and parry.

As I spun around, the blunt club of another Shade smashed directly into my chest. My armor held, but the impact from the blow pushed me back into the arms of two more of the attackers.

They grabbed onto my arms and held me tight as Kegg appeared in front of me with his axe at the ready. The fucker swung at my face, and I dispelled his blow with a quick cast of purple. He tried three more strikes, but each time I was able to dispel his attack as if it were nothing.

“Fuck it,” Kegg growled as he stepped forward and placed his massive hands on the sides of my head.

I felt a sharp pressure as he squeezed my noggin, and for a second I was worried he was going to pop it like a watermelon.

Then the Demon Lord lifted up his thumbs and tried to shove them into my eyes.

Tried.

Now that we were far away from Kegg’s castle, there was no hex to prevent green Hellfire.

I threw up two tiny portals in front of his plunging digits and then forced them to reappear in front of the fucker’s own eye sockets.

Kegg roared with agony as his thumbs forcefully jabbed into his eyes, and then I made my move.

I called on my silver Hellfire, ordered the ball around my waist to liquify, and then shot it up through the skulls of the Shades who had been holding onto me. There was the sound of blood and brain matter splattering onto the ground as my attack went through, and then they released their grip on my arms.

I quickly scooped up my black blade, ran up to Kegg, and went for the decapitation blow.

Unfortunately, another Shade hopped in the way of the attack.

His face remained emotionless as his head was separated from his shoulders and gore sprayed up into the sky. His body hit the ground, lifeless, but his head remained alert as it bounced across the sandy ground.

Kegg teleported away as the remaining six Shades attacked.

The first one came at me with a dagger, and I made short work of him with a blast of red flames. I was able to fend off the second attacker, as well, but then they became too much.

A heavy warhammer crashed into my back, and I was knocked down onto the ground. The second I was on my hands and knees, I was assaulted by every weapon known to man. I felt the sharp pain of a knife as it stabbed me repeatedly between the joints of my armor. I felt the blunt force of both a club and a warhammer smash into my back, which drove me further into the sand. Somebody’s metal boot smashed me in the face, and I crumpled to the ground as I spat out blood onto the sand.

I didn’t know how much more of this shit I could take.

But I couldn’t let this end here. I was Jacob fucking Ralston, a Demon King. Was I really gonna let myself be taken out by a bunch of Shades? Was I really going to let Gressil lock all of my friends in tombs of Hellfire for all of eternity, where our skin would be seared from our bodies until we were nothing but bone and charred flesh?

Fuck no.

I felt the horns on my head pulsate with power, and then I cast a protective purple spell all across my body.

Even though I could still feel the blows of all of my attackers, they weren’t as painful as before. At least now, I stood a fighting chance.

I tried to focus through the pain as I called on my silver Hellfire. I located my metal war hammer, commanded it to form into a razor-sharp boomerang, and then launched it at the surrounding Shades.

Two of the bastards went down as the boomerang lopped off their legs. In one fluid motion I reached down, grabbed the goat-headed dagger from my belt, and stabbed it into another Shade’s eye. I repeated the motion with the second Shade on the ground, and he crumpled over, lifeless.

Or, at least as lifeless as a Shade could get.

I knew they would be back on their feet in a matter of minutes, so I had to work fast to take out the others. I stabbed the point of the dagger into another Shade’s foot, and he screamed as he hobbled backwards.

Now that there was an opening, I propelled myself forward out of the range of the Shades.

As I stood up, the blunt end of Kegg’s axe slammed into my armored face. My brain rattled inside of my skull as I was knocked back on my ass, and then the Demon Lord slammed his boot into my chest.

“Real fookin’ clever,” he growled. “Too bad I’m gonna--”

I didn’t let him finish.

I tossed a handful of yellow Hellfire-powered shuriken into Kegg’s chest, and he stumbled backward as blood pooled around the fabric of his shirt. Then I called my liquified metal back into my hand, ordered it to form my warhammer, and gripped the weapon tight.

“Let’s dance, Conan,” I growled as I charged at Kegg.

The Demon Lord was just able to phase out of the way of the attack, and then his fist struck me in the face as he reappeared. Before I could retaliate, Kegg’s battle axe lodged itself into my left shoulder, and I felt a searing agony shoot through the entirety of my arm.

I yelled out both pain and frustration as I blasted the bastard with the strongest fireball I could muster.

He must not have been prepared for the attack, because his eyes went wide, and then he was tossed a few dozen feet backwards.

Unfortunately for me, the rest of the Shades were still advancing.

But I was getting really tired of their bullshit.

The Shade with the club swung at my leg, but I caught his weapon with a cast of green Hellfire.

I ordered the club to swing upward, and blood shot from the Shade’s face as his nose was broken and his eye socket was caved in. I parried the next attack with my warhammer and took out the attacker’s feet.

As he fell down onto his ass, I struck the third Shade with the hilt of my warhammer. He doubled over as the air was knocked out of his lungs, and then I made an upward swing and stabbed the pointy side of the weapon through his frontal lobe.

Finally, I walked over to the last Shade, raised the warhammer over my head, and brought it down on his noggin. Shards of flesh, muscle, brain, and skull flew in every direction as his head popped like a fucking balloon.

I couldn’t help but whistle at the sight. I knew Shades were immortal and all, but this guy was gonna have a real hard time coming back from that.

Kegg was pulling himself to his feet, but I couldn’t let him recover fully.

So, I summoned green fire into my hands, threw it around the lid of one of the tombs, and then hurled the brimstone structure into the Demon Lord.

Kegg went to phase out, but it was too late.

The massive stone projectile struck him hard and sent him careening across the sandy landscape.

As I began to run toward the injured Demon Lord, I saw the first Shades I’d taken down were now back on their feet and headed in my direction.

Still engulfed in emerald Hellfire, I picked up the lid of the tomb, yanked it to the right, and hit one of the Shades. However, I didn’t stop. I used the lid to push the bastard all the way back over to his fiery grave, shoved him inside, and then released my spell.

I could hear his screams of agony as he desperately pounded on the brimstone, but there was nothing he could do.

As the second Shade approached, I shot him with a blast of red Hellfire. His body flew through the air until I caught it with my jade spell, lowered him into another empty tomb, and then sealed it off before he could escape.

Two down, seven to go.

The next fucker took me by surprise, and I had to quickly turn around and block with the hilt of my warhammer. However, when I did so, I noticed something … strange.

As I shoved the Shade off me, the green and red flames twirled together, almost as if they were bonding to create some sort of mixed spell.

It couldn’t be.

I threw my hammer to the ground, clapped my hands together, and shot out a ball of incendiary Hellfire that was outlined by an emerald shimmer. Then I ordered the ball of fire to halt in mid-air, and it obeyed my command.

Holy fuck. I could combine different colored Hellfire.

The Shade raised up his sword, but I brought the telekinetic fire down square on his head. His body went up in flames, and he began to run around like a madman as he tried to put out the white-hot fire.

What else could I combine?

As the next two Shades approached, I turned my green flames into yellow, clapped my hands together, and shot yellow and red shuriken at the fuckers. When the projectiles struck their target, they exploded upon impact and sent them tumbling across the ground like ragdolls.

One of the Shades rolled up next to an open tomb, so I gave him another little nudge with my telekinetic spell. The second he was in the tomb, I moved the lid back over and sealed it shut.

Before the fourth Shade could get back on his feet, I ordered my warhammer to liquify and then threw it at him horizontally. He tossed out his hands and caught the weapon, but he was far too weak to stop its momentum.

The warhammer continued to push the fucker backward until it knocked him into his tomb.

I sealed it and turned to focus on the last four Shades.

“Ooooh, so the Nephilim learned how ta combine magic,” Kegg scoffed as he wobbled toward me, tomb lid in hand. “How cute.”

The Demon Lord launched the brimstone slab through the air, but I quickly rolled out of its trajectory.

As I came up, I summoned bronze and red Hellfire at the same time, created a fireball, and launched it at Kegg.

He teleported out of the path of the projectile, threw back his head, and laughed.

At least, until the bronze Hellfire kicked in.

The fireball vibrated for a second and then exploded into a miniature supernova. Flames crashed into Kegg’s body, and he screamed as his flesh was toasted at a crisp, warm ten-thousand degrees.

Suddenly, the club of another Shade struck me in the side, and I stumbled off-balance. I caught myself quickly, spun around, and unleashed a horde of yellow and green shuriken into his face at point-blank range.

The attack knocked him off his feet, and then I used the telekinetic fire to toss his body into one of the remaining tombs.

Three left.

Luckily, they had all gathered in the same general vicinity. The Shades held their weapons at the ready as they charged, but I was more than prepared.

I called my warhammer back to my hands, forced it to liquify, and then combined it with bronze Hellfire. Next, I tossed the combined spell into the ground in front of the approaching attackers.

Sand spewed up from the ground as four giant, drill-like spikes popped up from the sand and impaled the Shades through their chests.

I quickly switched to green Hellfire, commanded the spikes to take each of them to a remaining tomb, and then dumped them inside. I sealed off their escape and then let out a sigh of relief.

That just left me and Kegg.

The round, Viking-like demon looked like he was in complete shock, and he looked worse for wear. His stocky figure was heaving heavily as he stared me down, and his flesh was burned off in small flecks, remnants of my Hellfire. He had cuts and bruises all over his face, but those were gonna be child’s play compared to what I was gonna do to him next.

“H-how … Gressil never loses,” he muttered. “His plan was foolproof.”

“Apparently not,” I mocked and reformed my warhammer in my hands. “Now, are we gonna do this, or not?”

“It would be my pleasure,” the Demon Lord growled and tightened his grip on his axe.

We stared each other down and waited for the other to make a move.

Kegg might have been surprised and weakened, but his strength and brutality was nothing to shake a stick at. If I wasn’t careful, this was gonna end really, reallly badly for me.

Fuck it.

I let out a growl of anger as I charged at the demon.

He disappeared with a flash of green flames, and I just had to throw up a hail mary and hope that I hit him. I spun around in a circle and unleashed yellow and green shuriken in every direction known to man.

None of them hit their mark, as Kegg timed his reappearance precisely to dodge the attack.

Or so he thought.

The Demon Lord swung at me with his axe, and I jumped back as it passed by the spot where my neck had just been. As I moved, I yanked my flaming emerald hand into my body, and the dual-spell shuriken followed suit.

Dozens of small, razor-sharp throwing stars stabbed into Kegg’s body from all angles, and he gasped in horror as they turned his body into a pincushion.

I came up swinging, but Kegg grabbed my warhammer with both hands.

He yanked it out of my possession, tossed it to the side, and then tackled me to the ground. The Demon Lord pummelled my armored face with his bare hands, and dark tunnels began to form around the edge of my vision.

I grabbed my goat-headed dagger and stabbed it into Kegg’s side, but that only seemed to make him madder.

The demon gritted his teeth and began to punch even harder.

I could tell my protective spell was weakening and that I couldn’t hold on much longer. If my purple armor went down, this fucker’s fists were going to turn my face into a bloody pulp.

I had to act, and I had to act fast.

So, I summoned a portal of green Hellfire below my body and then allowed gravity to pull us both through.

We reappeared in the air directly above where we’d been, but Kegg was ready for the action.

He teleported away briefly and then instantly appeared behind me. The Demon Lord shoved his boot into the back of my body and sent me rolling through the sky at break-neck speeds.

I slammed into the ground and felt my whole left side go numb. The wound Kegg inflicted on me earlier was now taking its toll, and my left arm was on pins and needles.

“What’s the matter, King Ralston?” he mocked as he reappeared in front of me. “Does the poor little Nephilim need a break? Because I’ll give you one!”

The demon grabbed my wounded arm, flipped around behind me, and twisted.

Pain shot through my shoulder as a wet pop rang out, and I lost all feeling in my left arm.

Then Kegg’s hairy elbow wrapped around my neck from behind, and I felt my windpipe slowly being crushed by the brutal demon’s grasp. My vision was now tunneling like crazy, and I could barely breathe.

“I’ll let Beelzebub know ya at least went down fighting,” Kegg promised in a slimy, mocking tone.

“I-I’ll be sure to say the same thing about you,” I weakly shot back.

Then I swiftly injected bronze Hellfire into my enchanted armor, and my entire body began to vibrate violently.

Kegg must have been taken by surprise, because he released his grip on me and fell away from my body.

I called my warhammer back into my hands, spun around, and went in for the killing blow.

Kegg phased out of the way of my attack, grabbed the warhammer from my hands, and then spun it down so it took out my legs.

What little amount of breath I had left was knocked out of my lungs as I hit the ground, and I flipped around just in time to see Kegg bring down my warhammer.

I threw up a flaming silver hand, liquified the hilt of my hammer, and ordered it to shoot out at an angle.

The bottom of the weapon turned into a fluid, shaped itself into a point, and then stabbed Kegg right in his fucking face.

Kegg’s momentum shifted as his brain was skewered, and the hammer slammed harmlessly into the ground next to me. The demon wobbled for a second as he tried to make sense of what had just happened, and then he tried to phase away.

However, when he reappeared a second later, his body crumpled into a lifeless heap on the ground.

Kegg’s tongue flopped out of his mouth, and his eyes had both been popped out of their sockets. There was a three inch hole in the fucker’s head from the impact of the spike, and his dark red demon brain was spilling out into the sandy ground around him.

Kegg was dead.

“Holy shit,” I breathed in disbelief.

Somehow, some way, I’d done it.

Now, I just needed to figure out a way to get back to my succubi. As much as I wanted to lay down and rest, as much as I wanted to try and let my wounds heal … I couldn’t just leave them in the midst of battle.

There was only one problem. I had no fucking clue where I was, or how to get back to the Castle of the Heretic.

Normally, I could use my green Hellfire to teleport back to my original location. I knew how to get to the Castle of the Heretic from the entrance of the Sixth Circle, but not from wherever the fuck I was right now.

And unfortunately, “fast travel” only works with telekinetic flames if you know exactly where you are and where you need to go. I knew neither.

Then I remembered. East. If I headed east, I would eventually make it to the perimeter of the Sixth Circle, and I would find the Fields of Ember.

I picked up the Unhallowed Sword, sheathed it, and ordered my warhammer to form back into the compact ball on my belt. Then I pulled away the pauldron on my shoulder to inspect my wound.

Kegg’s axe had cut me pretty deep, and blood was oozing out of the wound like a volcano of gore.

I summoned red Hellfire to my working hand, closed my eyes, and grimace as I raised it to the wound. I heard the searing of my flesh and smelled the distinct aroma of burning skin, but thankfully I felt nothing.

Sia was going to have to do some more intensive work on me later, but at least I wasn’t going to bleed out.

I slid the pauldron back onto my shoulder, stood up, and then began my journey to find my friends. I pushed on for what felt like hours. I passed tomb after tomb, shrub after stick after rock … but still nothing.

Finally, I heard it. The sound of running water.

I limped toward the noise for a few minutes and, sure enough, I came upon the River of Souls.

That was when the exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks.

I fell down onto my knees as I chuckled wildly, and then I collapsed onto the sand. As I stared off into the distance and admired the river from a sideways vantage point, I could have sworn I heard voices.

But that didn’t matter. I was tired, and I needed to rest. I couldn’t go on for another minute, even if I wanted to.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, hopeful that somebody friendly would find me eventually.

Chapter 15

“Come on, Jacob … wake up!” Libidine’s voice begged as the world slowly came back into focus.

My eyes fluttered open and were greeted by the dark-haired succubus’ beautiful, doll-like face as she stared down at me sadly. Liby wore a look of pure horror on her face, but it quickly turned to relief when she saw I was conscious. Before I could even respond, the succubus wrapped her arms around me tightly and squeezed like she was never going to let go.

“I’m fine, Liby,” I reassured her with a chuckle.

I tried to survey my surroundings as she released her grip, but she offered an answer to my question before I could ask it.

“You’re safe,” she promised, “in the infirmary of our castle. Kegg really did a number on you, but thankfully we were able to follow the River of Souls until we found you lying there on the ground, passed out. Superbia worked her magic touch and voila! Good as new.”

“It wasn’t only Kegg,” I growled. “Gressil decided to show his ugly mug, too.”

Libidine frowned and shook her head with disappointment.

“It was only a matter of time until he got involved directly,” she sighed. “I’m just sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“You were obeying my orders,” I reminded her, “you were holding down the fort while we were gone, just in case Beelzebub or one of those other fuckers decided to try and get the jump on us.”

“I know,” Liby grumbled, “but I’m still upset. You were hurt really bad, so much so that you’ve been asleep for nearly ten hours.”

“Fighting a barbaric Demon Lord and his Shades takes a mighty toll on a Nephilim,” I joked. “Also, who says I was passed out? Maybe I just needed a power nap after all the extra work I’ve been doing these last few weeks.”

“I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Liby giggled.

I sat up in bed and glanced around the room. I’d never actually been in the castle’s infirmary before. Usually, a little healing touch from Sia was all I needed to repair my broken and battered body, and then I was good to go again.

The infirmary was made up of the same black brimstone bricks as the rest of the castle, but it also had a touch of your traditional medical decor. White tapestries were hung all around the place, and each one bore a bastardized version of the caduceus insignia. The angel wings on the logo were replaced with bat wings, and the snakes that curled up the sigil each had giant, goat-like horns. There had to have been at least fifty beds in this room with thin, shoddy mattresses and stained blue sheets.

I could see why nobody ever came in this room. It looked like something straight out of a psych ward.

“Where are the others?” I asked curiously. “Did the rest of the team make it out alright? The last time I saw them, they were stuck in the Castle of the Heretic and fighting off a bunch of Daeva.”

“Once Kegg was gone, they were only fighting Daeva.” Libidine smiled. “I think we could defeat those pathetic creatures in our sleep.”

“But the flaming wall … ” I pondered aloud. “How did they get back out?”

“There was a main exit,” Cupi’s voice spoke up as she walked into the room. “The fire disappeared after Kegg was gone, and the Daeva were the only other beings in the place. Getting out was nothing.”

The horny crown that sat atop the Sister of Greed’s head was glistening in the light, and the elegant garments draped over her body hugged every single one of her curves.

“It’s still gonna take me some time to get used to your Demon Lord looks,” I mused happily as my eyes traveled up and down the blonde woman’s body. “Very regal. Fit for a Queen.”

“A Demon Lord, you mean,” Cupi corrected me with a hint of sass in her voice, “but thank you. If it’s any consolation, I still look the same underneath.”

My heart began to race as I began to picture the succubus’ naked body. I had it ingrained in my memory from the many, many times we’d made love, but I felt my cock begin to harden at the thought.

“I think you’re exciting him, Cupi,” Libidine gasped and then glanced down obviously at my pants.

“What’s the matter, Jacob?” the blonde succubus shot back in a flirty tone. “You think that, just because I’m a Demon Lord, I don’t know how to please my King?”

There was something about the way she said that last part that was hot as fuck. I was her king, and she wanted nothing more than to fulfill all of my wildest desires.

Well, I think I had an obvious desire to fill right here and now.

“Oh my!” Libidine gasped as she stared at my growing erection, “whatever you’re doing, Cupi, keep doing it. Jacob’s fucking loving it.”

The raven-haired succubus placed her hand on my thigh and then slowly moved it upward until it was touching my dick through my pants.

Now that I was out of my armor, there was only a thin layer of fabric separating me from her grasp, and I grew even harder at Liby’s touch.

“I think it’s the ‘King’ thing,” Cupi giggled. “Are you into that, ‘King Ralston?’ Do you like it when we refer to you as our lord?”

I curled my toes and pursed my lips as my dick grew to full mast.

“Fuck yes he does!” Libidine interjected. “Well, ‘my King’… what do you want us to do for you?”

“Don’t tease him too much,” Cupi joked as she slapped her sister on the arm. “We don’t want him getting blue balls now, do we?”

“He won’t get that far,” Libidine shot back. “He’ll take us like a wild animal before he lets it get too bad. Why not tease him a little bit more? How does that sound, my King?”

I didn’t wait another second.

I summoned green Hellfire into my hands, cast it around the door of the infirmary, and slammed it shut.

Then, before either of the succubi could react, I wrapped my hands around Libidine’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

She responded with a gasp, but it was quickly replaced by low, sensual groans.

Liby’s hand started to rub furiously at my cock, and I gave her a moan to express my pleasure.

“That’s more like it,” Cupi’s voice added.

I felt the blonde woman’s hands start to run up and down my sides as her sister and I made out, and then I heard Cupi get in on the action.

Her lips made loud, sensual noises as she nibbled on Libidine’s neck, an action that got a soft purr out of the Sister of Lust.

As we continued to make out, Liby fumbled at my shirt. I yanked it over my head in a flash, tossed it off to the side, and then got to work on her.

Now that she was scantily-clad in her new armor, it was easy to get the succubus undressed. The back of her breastplate had a single snap, so I pulled it away with one fluid motion.

As the shiny black plate fell from Liby’s chest, her massive breasts were set free. They popped out of the piece happily, with both of her perfect pink nipples at attention. Each breast moved with the rhythm of her breathing, and I couldn’t help but stare.

“Excuse me,” Liby joked, “my eyes are up here.”

“I’m not focused on your eyes,” I shot back playfully, and then I moved down to her thighs.

The metal cuisses fell away just as easily, and her metal skirt came off next.

The second there was nothing in my way, I reached down and slid two fingers into Liby’s warmth. The Sister of Lust was wet beyond belief, so I started to move my hand back and forth, in and out of her, as I used the bottom of my palm to rub at her clitorus.

“Holy fuck,” Liby gasped as she threw back her head. “Don’t stop that.”

“Don’t you want our King’s actual cock?” Cupi teased.

“I’ll get that later,” Libidine purred through a series of moans.

As I pleasured her intensely, Liby’s hands fumbled at the button on my pants until she snapped them off with enough force to launch a fucking elephant across the room. Her eyes lit up as she bit her lip and pulled my cock free from its fabric prison.

It sprung to attention before the two women, and they didn’t hesitate.

Libidine’s hand grabbed my erection from the front, and then she began to stroke slowly.

Meanwhile, Cupiditas was now kissing Liby’s naked back and nibbling on her neck passionately. At the same time, she reached her hand forward, placed her hand on top of Libidine’s, and helped her pleasure me.

I groaned loudly as the two sexy women jerked me off, and I returned the favor with a vigorous rub. The walls of Libidine’s pussy began to spasm around my fingers, and it nearly became a geyser against my palm.

“Oh my god!” she gasped. “I think I’m--I’m--fuuuuuuuck!”

Libidine continued to let out sounds of pure pleasure as she orgasmed against my hand. Then, when it was all over, she threw her arms around my neck, stared deeply into my eyes, and kissed me passionately. After a minute or two of making out, the Sister of Lust pulled away from my body.

“Your turn,” she cooed to Cupiditas.

“I was wondering when I would have my chance,” the blonde woman joked.

Cupi walked over, placed her hand on my chest, and gave me a little shove.

I fell back onto the bed, and my cock grew harder at the thought of what was going to happen next. I peeked past my erection and saw Cupiditas was removing her clothes.

She tossed the silver pauldron onto a nearby bed before she whipped off the rest of her armor. Once that was gone, all that remained was her flowing white toga.

“Let me help you with that,” Liby giggled. “It’s the least I can do.”

Libidine went down on her knees, grabbed the bottom of Cupi’s garment, and then pulled it up slowly.

I watched the sheer white fabric as it traveled up the succubus’ toned, bronze legs.

When it passed over her shaved pussy, my heartbeat increased tenfold. The fabric moved up her toned stomach and then allowed both of her perky little breasts to fall loose with a jiggle. Finally, the garment went over Cupi’s head, and she was fully naked.

The Sister of Greed stared at my cock hungrily as she approached, and then she motioned for Liby to follow.

Cupi made sure to brush her lips over my cock briefly as she approached, but it was only a tease. She climbed up so she was straddling my erection, grabbed it with her hands, and then slid me inside her wet, waiting pussy.

The succubus made an expression of determination as she slid down onto my rock-hard cock. She wanted it, and she wanted all of it.

And, knowing Cupi, she was going to get all of it.

The walls of her pussy were tight, but she was so wet I could barely feel anything but her own lubrication. The succubus placed her open palms firmly on my chest as she began to ride me like a horse. Her tight abs rippled with each motion, and I could feel her ass slapping against my balls as she rode.

“Cupi doesn’t get to have all the fun,” Liby warned as she sauntered over to where I was laying.

The dark-haired woman lifted up her leg, placed it on the bed next to my head, and moved so she was directly over my face.

I knew exactly where this was going, and I was totally into it.

Before she could do anything further, I reached up, slapped my hands around Liby’s waist, and pulled her down onto me. I moved my tongue in every direction known to man as I licked her passionately, and she tasted just as sweet as she looked.

The succubus’ thighs clenched against the side of my head as she let out a deep groan, so I must have been doing something right.

Meanwhile, I had no idea what Cupi was doing down on the other end to my cock, but it felt fucking amazing.

Both of the womens’ moans mixed together in the air as I pleasured them as tenderly yet roughly as possible.

“I-I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up!” Cupiditas gasped as she glided up and down on my erection.

“It doesn’t matter,” Liby reassured her. “I’m sure our King will be willing to go for a second round.”

I couldn’t answer with a snarky comeback, so I did the next best thing I could do. I started licking Libidine more slowly and calculatedly.

She let out a gasp at the sudden change in pace, but then she moaned intensely.

I could feel the coil in my abdomen begin to tense up, but I was far from done.

“Shit, I think I’m gonna--ohhhhhhh!” Cupiditas gasped as she quickened her movements, and her pussy spasmed around me.

Her sounds of ecstacy lingered in the air as she rode me, and then she finally slowed down to a slow thrust.

Suddenly, Libidine decided she’d had enough. The succubus moved my hands away from her waist, rocked gently to shake her ass in my face, and then rolled off.

“Where are you going?” I demanded playfully. “You aren’t done quite yet.”

“I had another idea,” Libidine cooed.

She beckoned to Cupi with her finger, and the blonde woman slid off my cock gracefully. The Sister of Greed could barely walk as she made her way over to where Liby was standing, but her partner wasted no time in making the next move.

Liby grabbed Cupi’s face, pressed her lips against the blonde’s, and then the two of them began to make out passionately as the fell back in the bed. Libidine kept one hand on the back of Cupi’s head as they kissed, but she let the other one wander onto the woman’s erect nipples.

At the same time, Cupi had her hand firmly on Libidine’s curvy ass.

Liby arched her back so her sexy ass was in the air, and I knew just what to do.

I walked over to the kissing women, grabbed Liby around her waist, and then slid into her.

We both quivered as I entered her. Then I began to thrust slowly, and her ass bounced with each movement. I fucked Libidine for a minute, but I could still feel myself dragging across Cupi’s womanhood as I did so.

I couldn’t leave her out of this.

So, in one quick movement, I pulled out of Liby and then slid into Cupiditas.

I saw the blonde woman’s hand grip tighter against her lover’s hair, and I knew she was currently in pure bliss. For the next ten minutes we stayed in this position, with me taking turns fucking the succubi while they made out passionately.

Finally, after much love-making, I knew I was almost to the edge.

As I was gliding in and out of Libidine’s tight pussy, I went over.

I let out a loud moan as I grabbed her hips, pushed into her as far as I could go, and unleashed my orgasm inside of her. My balls tightened up as I came, and the force of my orgasm made me worry I was going to accidentally hurt my lover. After what felt like a solid thirty seconds of cumming, I relaxed, slipped out of the succubus, and sat back on the bed.

“Damn,” I whistled as the two women continued to kiss, “you guys are still goin’ at it, huh?”

Libidine gave Cupi one last tender kiss before she rolled over onto her back. Both of them were breathing heavily, their muscles completely overwhelmed by the intensity of the love-making session they’d just experienced.

“That was incredible,” Liby panted. “Especially in that position. I never realized you were so good at that one, Jacob.”

“Don’t sell yourself too short,” I joked as I moved over to the two beautiful women in my bed. “It was your idea. And you were both fucking phenominal.”

“Thank you,” Liby giggled and snuggled up into my chest.

“I do my best,” Cupi joked. “I hope you enjoyed yourself, ‘My King.’”

She may have been using my title sarcastically, but I was living the dream. I’d just fucked two sexy women, women who looked at me as their master and would do anything in the world for me.

I just hoped they knew I’d do anything for them, too.

“Are the others waiting?” I finally asked after a moment of silence.

Cupi rolled up onto her side and stared me down with her violet pupils. Even at this angle, her breasts remained perky, and I couldn’t help but stare.

“They can wait a little longer,” she mused.

Damn straight, they could.

Chapter 16

“Sooooo, is it safe to come in?” Todd’s voice asked from the doorway. “Or are you still doing some sexual healing up in here?”

The imp’s voice jolted me awake, and a quick glance at the clock told me we’d been asleep for almost an hour.

“Pssst!” I hissed at the succubi. “Wake up! We fell asleep!”

Cupi and Libidine both began to stir groggily, but they shot me dirty looks when their eyes finally opened.

“We meant to do that,” Cupi retorted with a scowl.

“You might have,” Liby said with a yawn, “but I don’t think I could have stayed up even if I wanted to. I was exhausted.”

“Oh please,” the Sister of Greed retorted, “Jacob and I did most of the work.”

“If only,” Liby said with a loud laugh. “I’m the one who got you to try that position in the first place, remember? Jacob was just … very receptive to the idea.”

“Fuck yeah, I was,” I laughed as I rolled out of bed and went for my pants. “I can’t believe I’d never done that before.”

“It’s standard threesome fare.” Cupi shrugged, and then she got up out of bed.

My eyes were laser-focused on her tight ass as she walked over to her heap of clothing on the floor.

“I can’t say I’ve had a ton of those,” I chuckled. “At least, not before I met you guys. My last human girlfriend was kinda a stuck-up bitch.”

“We don’t talk about her!” Todd shrieked from the other side of the door. “That Devil-Woman ain’t got no place in this castle!”

“Can you hear us talking?” I shouted at the door, somewhat annoyed.

“Nah, bro,” the imp admitted, “you should know by now I got a sixth sense about … her.”

“I really hope I never meet this woman,” Libidine pouted as she pulled on her skimpy pants. “It sounds like she caused you and Todd a lot of pain. I’d honestly probably kill her on sight.”

“‘Pain’ is putting it lightly,” I agreed. “Tamira--”

“Nooooooooooo!” Todd hissed loudly. “Do not invoke the name of the Great Satan!”

“My ex,” I whispered. “She almost broke up mine and Todd’s friendship, but I ended up seeing through her bullshit.”

“Still,” Liby scoffed, “she sounds like a terrible person.”

“It’s fine, Todd,” I called out as I pulled my shirt over my head. “You can come in now.”

The imp scurried into the room, hopped up to jump on the bed, and smacked into the side. He let out a loud grunt as he hit the ground, shook himself off, and then successfully flipped onto the top of my mattress.

“Totally meant to do that, bro,” he promised. “Anywho, how’s it hangin? Please tell me you killed Kegger with some sort of super-badass one-liner.”

“Uh,” I tried to remember, “I think I just shoved a giant spike through his face.”

“Oh, come on!” the imp groaned and snapped his fingers. “Not even a ‘get to the point?’ No ‘knife to meet you?’”

“Sorry, bro,” I laughed and shook my head. “I was fucking beat up by that point. I just wanted it all to be over.”

“At least we don’t have to worry about Hagar the Horrible anymore,” the imp conceded. “He wasn’t as fun as his comic strip led me to believe.”

“And with Kegg dead,” Cupi added, “Beelzebub will now find himself without his top Demon Lord. If we can keep this up, the King of the Eighth Circle will be nothing but a shell of his former self.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” I reminded her. “There are still his other two big Demon Lords out there. Plus all of his succubi and loyal soldiers.”

“Those are inconsequential,” the blonde succubus argued. “The real power rests with the Demon Lords. Why do you think we all go through the ceremony where we bond our essences together? The souls of a Demon Lord and his King are deeply connected. When one of them dies, so does a part of their king.”

“The ‘ol Horocrux route,” Todd noted, “I dig it. Just as long as we don’t have to fight any giant snakes, bro. The Toddster draws the line at giant-ass snakes.”

“Perhaps now would be a good time to tell him about Abbadon’s pet?” Libidine whispered to Cupi.

“No way,” the blonde woman disagreed. “If he knows about Serpico, there’s no way he’ll follow us into the Seventh Circle. Should we ever find ourselves there.”

“Hold up there, Cupi,” Todd gasped. “Are you trying to tell me Abbadabadoo has a fucking pet that looks like Al Pacino?”

“Uhhhh, maybe?” the Sister of Greed returned with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t play dumb,” the imp accused, “I remember that movie from the seventies. The one where he plays a whistleblowing cop.”

Cupi, Liby, and I all looked at each other and tried not to break our farce.

“That’s right,” Liby giggled. “The Seventh Circle is guarded by this Al Pacino creature.”

“At least they picked Serpico and not Scarface,” Todd mused. “You don’t fuck with Tony Montana.”

“Everyone else is waiting on you,” Cupi announced as she turned back to face me. “There was one part of the ceremony we forgot about.”

“Oh?” I asked with a raised eyebrow as my heart began to pump in my chest. “Does it involve more swapping of bodily fluids?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Libidine sighed.

“However, it is the most important part of any Demon Lord’s coronation,” the blonde succubus explained. “The Consecration of Land.”

“Land?” I continued. “You guys should already know what’s mine is yours … ”

“We do,” Cupi nodded, “but this is part of becoming a Demon Lord. We still operate on somewhat of a Feudal System down here, so when a new Demon Lord is created, he is given a plot of land as his own.”

“Does that mean we can’t stay with Jacob here in the castle?” Liby asked with a pout. “Because if that’s the price we have to pay for becoming more powerful, I want to revert.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Lib,” Todd interjected. “Once the cork is popped, there ain’t no putting the champagne back inside.”

“He’s right,” Cupi agreed, “the ceremony is--”

“And by ‘cork’ and ‘champagne’ I mean ‘Jakey’s dick’ and ‘Jakey’s love juice,’” the imp interrupted.

“I understood your metaphor, Todd,” Cupi sighed and then looked back at Libidine. “The ceremony can only go one way. Unfortunately, while we’re in Hell, we must conform to the laws.”

“Fuck that!” I exclaimed. “You can have all the land you want, but you sure as hell don’t have to leave the castle if you don’t want to.”

“Really?” Libidine questioned as her eyes lit up. “We can stay here.”

“Of course you can,” I scoffed, “since when have I ever been one to follow the rules?”

“If you want to secure the alliances of the other Demon Kings, you may have to,” Cupiditas sighed. “Demons are vain. Appearance is everything to them.”

“We’ve got three of the Demon Kings of Hell trying to usurp both Lucifer and the Exalted One,” I explained. “At this point, the old rules are out the window. It’s all about survival, and if my allies want to stand a chance at surviving, they’ll stick with me.”

“All for one and one for all,” Todd noted. “This is where we fight, and this is where they die! Carpe Diem! Leroy Jenkins!”

“That’s right,” I chuckled, “when it comes to a war this big, we either band together or die.”

“That should totally go on like, a flag or something,” the imp continued. “Ohhhhhh, you could totally have like, a big snake that’s been cut up, and all the different pieces could be labeled with the different territories. So, it’s like, a fucking allegory for what happens when our allies don’t band together. Ha! The Toddster has done it again!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was thinking of the flag we’d seen in our elementary social studies class, the one the colonists used during the Revolution.

“You’re not wrong.” I nodded to the imp and humored him. “We have to take drastic measures to make sure our allies stay, well, allied. I know all of us here, all my succubi and Demon Lords and Shades, could probably take on Beelzebub and win. We’re a team. A well-oiled machine that can’t be stopped, not even by Lucifer himself. Rules be damned, you’re staying here.”

“I love it when you talk all tough like that,” Liby shuddered and then held up her arm. “See? Goosebumps.”

“Wasn’t that the whole point of killing Azazel and freeing you guys?” I asked Cupi. “So we could do what you want?”

The blonde woman bowed her head like a scolded toddler as she thought about it. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and shot me a devilish look.

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt if we stayed here,” she agreed, “but we will still need to do the Consecration of Land. Sister Superbia isn’t going to let us get away without doing that one.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” I shrugged as I threw my feet over the bed and stood up. “Let’s get consecrating.”

Todd went to take a step, but then he jerked his foot up into the air and let out a gasp.

“Bro … ” he asked as horror filled his voice, “please tell me I didn’t step in what I think I just stepped in. Because I think I may have just stepped into something no amount of ‘no homo’ will ever fix.”

“We changed the sheets, Todd,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “Whatever that is, it’s not from us.”

Todd let out a sigh of relief as he lowered his foot and wiped his brow.

“Whew,” he mused, “then it’s probably just blood or vomit or piss or some shit like that. No biggie.”

The four of us sauntered out of the sterile environment of the infirmary and then followed the halls all the way down to the war room. As we entered, I saw literally everyone was there.

Gula, Sia, and Ira all looked formal as they sat there at the far table with their hands folded across their laps and perfect postures. Meanwhile, Invidia had her head down on the table with the hood of her sweatshirt pulled up to cover her entire face. She must have had earbuds in her ears, because I could distinctly hear the muffled sound of All-American Rejects coming from somewhere.

Then there was Tristitia. The Sister of Sloth was leaned all the way back in the chair and had her feet lazily propped up on the table. In her mouth was a giant joint, which she puffed from at increasingly fast intervals and then blew the smoke up into the air.

Mephisto, the Master of Whispers, was sitting right next to the succubus, and he appeared to be less than amused by her antics.

Could you please blow that in another direction? he asked telepathically.

Tris just turned her bloodshot purple eyes to the Demon Lord, stared at him curiously, and then went back to smoking.

“She’s higher than a seven-forty-seven, bro,” Todd whistled. “I’m not even sure she’s gonna remember this whole ceremony.”

So, you have returned to finish the ceremony? Mephisto questioned. If so, I have a request …

“Shoot.” I nodded to the orange-skinned demon.

Well, he began, my current territory resides in the rural area of the Fourth Circle, the Eternal Greens. I would like to see if perhaps I could be reassigned? Perhaps to something a bit more urban, where I can be closer for our meetings?

Both Tris and Todd perked up at the comment, looked at each other, and smiled widely.

“Eternal Greens?” the imp gasped. “Now you’re speakin’ my language, Great Pumpkin! Tell us more.”

It is a territory of Hell that will grow whatever is planted, he explained, however, Azazel had no interest in agriculture, so it’s been vacant for centuries.

“But shit will still grow there, right?” Todd asked hopefully as he bounced up and down on his feet.

Correct, the Master of Whispers confirmed with a nod.

“Sold!” Todd cackled, and then he began to jump up and down with excitement. “Slothy and I call dibs on this one. Ohhhh man, we’re gonna grow so many different strains … it’ll revolutionize the entire economy down here!”

Tris nodded with a massive grin, but said nothing.

I was seriously starting to wonder if her motor functions were even working.

“Alright, it’s settled,” I announced. “Todd and Tris get the Eternal Greens. Cupi, I think it makes the most sense if you take the military district, considering you’re always training in the coliseum.”

“It would be my honor,” the blonde woman agreed with a bow.

“Gula, Sia?” I noted as I turned to the two redheaded succubi. “How do Platea Cibum and the Res Regionis sound to you guys?”

“F-Food street?” Gula gasped. “You’re going to give me food street?”

“Now that we’re allied with Asmodeus,” I explained, “we can actually get real food imported. I’m putting you in charge of setting up an entire district dedicated to the sustenance of my Shades. You think you can handle that?”

“Yes!” Gula squealed with delight.

Superbia seemed just as happy, but she was much more subtle. Her expression remained neutral, but her foot was bouncing up and down against the floor.

“I would be delighted to have the Fourth Circle’s business district,” she agreed. “I will not fail you.”

“I know you won’t,” I reassured her. “That’s why I’m entrusting it to you! Now, for Invidia. I figured she could--hello? Are we paying attention?”

The Sister of Envy’s head was still buried in the table and covered with her hoodie.

I shook my head with amusement as I reached out, summoned green Hellfire into my hands, and then pulled back the hood rapidly.

Vidia’s head shot up, and she looked around with wide eyes as she tried to figure out what was going on.

“I wasn’t sleeping, I swear!” she promised.

“It’s alright,” I laughed. “I was just telling everyone how, as a new Demon Lord, you are going to be watching over the Shrieking Mountains.”

“Did you say ‘shrieking mountains?’” the dark-haired woman repeated. “Like, that area of the Fourth Circle that’s far away from everyone and everything?”

“Yep.” I nodded. “The one where there’s nothing around but the howling winds of the mountain breeze, which just so happen to sound like tortured screams.”

“Bad. Ass.” Invidia grinned and gave me a thumbs up. “You know me so well.”

“Then there’s Ira,” I announced as I turned to the Sister of Wrath. “I though I’d let you have--”

“The political district,” she said before I could even finish. “I begrudgingly accept. There’s gonna be soooo much bureaucracy I can implement, all of which will double as subtle forms of torture! It’s gonna be a blast.”

Yep, I’d definitely given her the right district.

“What about me, Jacob?” Libidine’s voice spoke up. “Is there a territory close to here I can watch over?”

“I’ve got a very special piece of land to give you, Liby,” I promised. “How do you feel about the Plains of Agony?”

“How fucking romantic, bro,” Todd snickered.

However, Liby understood the gesture I was making.

“Aren’t--aren’t those the fields right next to the castle?” she gasped.

“They are,” I confirmed. “You can stay right here next to me.”

Libidine let out a “hurrah” of joy and pumped her fist up in the air.

“I accept,” she agreed. “I accept a million times over.”

“My offer still stands, though,” I reminded her, and then I turned to the rest of the group. “It stands for all of you, as well. Even though the territories I’m giving you are yours to watch over, you can stay at the castle any time you want. Even permanently, if you’d like. I just have to keep up appearances for my allies.”

Uh, King Ralston? Mephisto interrupted. Where exactly am I to go now?

“Where would you like to go, Master of Whispers?” I asked the Demon Lord. “Your service to your king has been beyond adequate.”

The orange-skinned demon bowed his head gracefully.

You are too kind, King Ralston, he complimented. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, I wish to have the Screaming Fields. After being locked in a fiery tomb for so long, it would be nice if I could see water from my castle. Also, the sounds of the steam would be soothing beyond belief.

“Consider it done,” I smiled at my loyal subject, “The Screaming Fields are yours. I’ll have the Shades get on with building you a new castle out there. Now, all that’s left is Gamigin, but I’ll talk to him the next time I see him.”

Thank you, my king. Mephisto nodded. With that out of the way, there was an urgent matter I wanted to speak with you about …

“Can we maybe wait on the political stuff?” I sighed. “Even for just, like the next few hours?”

I think you’ll find my update quite pleasing, King Ralston.

“Alright, fine,” I conceded. “What do ya got for me?”

Well, I’ve done something bad, the orange-skinned demon explained and, for the first time ever, his eyes seemed to light up with excitement. Something very, very bad.

“Go on … ” Ira nearly moaned as she bit her lip.

I may or may not have spread a rumor about you, one that could be detrimental to all the other Demon Kings in Hell.

“I’m listening,” I prompted him to continue.

I already liked where this was going, and I didn’t even know a single detail yet.

While you were away, I sent my spies around to all of the different Circles, telling any and all succubi they could find about how you turned your women into Demon Lords, he explained. If my sources are to be believed, the succubi were very intrigued by the prospect.

“You sly dog, you!” Todd exclaimed and slapped his hands together. “You really outdid yourself this time, Great Pumpkin. Now that all the babes of Hell know Jakey’s love shack is the place to be, we can juice him up like, ten times as much as he is now!”

“Elaborate,” Tris sighed. “In English, por favor.”

“If the other succubi hear there is a Demon King around who will treat them as more than just sexual favors,” Superbia explained, “one who will see them as equals, so much so that he promotes them to Demon Lords … they’ll come here to join our crew.”

“And once our Motley Crew is formed,” Todd stepped in, “Jakey’s power levels are gonna be over nine-thousand!”

“If it works,” I reminded them all. “No offense, but I had to twist most of you guys’ arms to get you to leave Azazel. In fact--”

Suddenly, the door of the War Room was thrown open, and one of my Shades burst in, completely out of breath.

“K-King Ralston!” he exclaimed. “There’s a large number of demons approaching from the North.”

I clenched my fist as my heart hammered in my chest. Seriously? They were gonna try another fucking sneak attack?

“What are they doing?” I demanded.

“That’s the weird thing,” the Shade explained, “they’re all just kinda standing there talking to each other. And it’s an army composed entirely out of women … ”

Women?

I looked over at Mephisto and grinned.

Had his plan really paid off? And so quickly?

“You did it,” Todd mused in a Jeff Goldblum voice. “The crazy son of a bitch, you did it.”

Relief washed over my body as I took off toward the main gates of the castle.

“Jacob!” Cupi called out from behind me. “Wait for us!”

I dashed through the hallways of the castle until I came to the staircase that led up to the outer wall. In a flash, I sped up the stairway, turned to the right, and exited out onto the top of the open perimeter.

Then my jaw hit the floor.

Standing out before me, on the rocky ground just in front of our main gate, were several hundred beautiful, naked women.

They were giggling as they chit-chatted with each other, but then one of them must have noticed me. The entire crowd went silent before they all turned to face me and began to murmur in secret.

“Holy fuck, bro,” Todd whistled as he fluttered up beside my face. “That’s a lot of succubi.”

“I estimate at least three hundred,” Cupi noted as she strutted into view.

“That’s a lot of Demon Lords,” Todd noted, “and that’s an awful lot of Jakey Juice to give away. You sure the ‘ol one-eyed willy’s got it in him?”

“He can’t convert all of them,” Superbia explained. “Having more than twenty or so Demon Lords becomes a logistical nightmare. Not to mention the limited territory, the backstabbing, and everything that goes along with that.”

“In other words,” Ira chuckled, “a typical day in politics.”

I see my rumors spread quickly, Mephisto boasted proudly. With numbers like these, the pool of candidates will be excellent.

Todd landed on the side of the wall, deactivated his black Hellfire, and then raised his hand like a child in class.

“I know it’s a totally massive burden to bear,” the imp mused, “but I will volunteer to interview all of these smokin’ naked babes.”

“I know I can count on you, bro,” I laughed as I patted the imp on the head, and then I turned to take in the view again.

There were almost three-hundred women standing in my presence, and they all wanted a piece of me.

For the lucky few, that was exactly what they were gonna get.

End of Book 10

End Notes

Thank you for reading Succubus Lord 10! I’ll start writing the next book as soon as this one has one-hundred reviews. So please leave a nice review here!

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2019 by Eric Vall